Should I move in with my boyfriend after 4 months?

You should have a life of your own … your mother is there…she needs to step up… if she can spend the night with her boyfriend then she can stay home with her sons… she may have some mental problems but there is always sources that will help your mother and your brothers in the situation …if you don’t … you will be there for the rest of your life and have no life and if it doesn’t work out with your new boyfriend you can always move out of his place and get your own by yourself. Good luck sweetie… you Deserve the best

3 Likes

Also please protect yourself like birth control. I’m not saying this to be mean. I was a 20 year old with a one year old. I never got to live life. I’m a single mom to two drowning in everyway. Also just bc these handful of ladies have had good experiences there are two times more people who had it go bad for them. Only one side is being represented here. Just something to consider. If you ever need a friend my inbox is open

what happens to you siblings?

2 Likes

My husband moved in together only after a few months and we’ve been together 10 years now and have a child together.

As someone that’s been in a similar situation. If you see this being long term, I say go for it. But, I know your siblings aren’t, or at least shouldn’t be your responsibility, but please still try to be there for them as much as possible. They deserve to have someone that puts them first, as it sounds like you do. It’s tough. No matter the decision you make it’ll be tough. Just do your best. Either way you’re making a good decision for yourself.

i would🤷🏻‍♀️ me and my husband moved together 2 months after dating and its going on 8 years now

No. Honestly do what will make you happy and less stressed. I worried about others happiness for years. And like you my family (mom) was toxic. I met my husband at 18/19 and moved out fast! Best decision i have yet to make!
You cannot let your family be your worries. They have a mom for that. Not your responsibility. Please dont let your moms problems take your having a life away. Do whats best for you.

Y not just stay a couple of nights a week first and see how it goes.x

2 Likes

If it feels right do it, i moved in with my boyfriend after 3months and we got engaged too i moved into his family home with him and his parents wer now married 3.5yrs with 3 kids and our own house :blush:

Moved in at about 6 months. That was nearly 10 years ago and we are happily married with two babies. Leave the toxic life you’re in!

Yes you would be dumb. You don’t know this man or his intentions

1 Like

I moved in with my now husband after 5 months. We have been together for 6 years now and I have never been happier. He completes me in every way. I feel like this situation is a hit or miss. It could go great but could also go horrible.

I agree with Chris . You don’t know him that well. Can you get some kind of help from the state for your siblings. You may end up in a worse situation.
Good luck !!:pray::pray::pray::pray::pray:

I moved in with my now husband literally 2 weeks after we started dating. I was going through a divorce at the time. He has been the one thing we (me and my 3 boys) all needed from the start. However, if I were in your situation, things would be different because I would feel obligated to stay there and take care of my other siblings even though they are teenagers.

Growing up in a household which was was toxic and extremely abusive (no dad, mom was notoriously abusive to me both physically and emotionally… she went as far as to stab me once) and sounding EXACTLY like this, I’m telling you to stay with your siblings… just for now. If it wasn’t for my older sister… myself and younger sister would probably be dead. I know it’s heavy, but God is with you. Don’t leave them just yet. You may be their only lifeline. In a short while, they’ll be grown and you’ll be free. It’s not fair at all. You deserve all of the love and blessings your heart and hands can hold. God WILL bless you!! Don’t leave them yet. I’m sure your gut already tells you this. God be with you. Add me if you need an ear!!! Been here, done this. Sending MUCH love.

I was in an abusive household until 19. I dated my now husband for 4 months and then ran off to live with him. It is hard but manageable…especially if have a license. My husband helped me so much. Got me a car and cellphone and helped me get a job when he said i didnt need to work. Was it perfect at first? No. I was way happier than living at home,but it was a rocky 2 years together learning about each other’s bad sides on top of the good. My husband was spoiled by his mom so would toss clothes and trash in the floor for me to pick up and then his friends were constantly trying to break us up. We were off and on for 2 years until he started changing little by little. Broke up and got back together several times. We have learned to just let it all out at each other when mad and fume and be over things by the next day. Dont escalate it. Get it off chest and let it go. He has never cheated or stole money and we both always pulled our weight by splitting half the bills until had kids. Now I’m a stay at home mom and he works. Works out. Dont expect sunshine and rainbows when move out. Expect that you will both have to get used to each other and living with someone else is all about compromise on both parts. However…im glad i got out of the situation with my parents and did become independent. They would have never let me have my own life or my own money. It is worth a shot. Just know not to jump into kids or marriage right off the bat. Live with him 2 years minimum and see what he is really like first.

No. I don’t understand how you could TRULY know someone in that short of a time.

I got married after 3 months w my husband and this May we will be 15years together.

3 Likes

Yes you would be dumb

1 Like

Just wait a little bit longer till you know him better

No you wouldn’t be dumb, I suggest moving in with the roommates first then if that goes well you can always get your own place.

He seems like a sweet guy and is looking out for you.

3 Likes

Go with your instinct and what feels right. My husband and I moved in together very quickly, were engaged after 8 months, and are about to celebrate our 8 year wedding anniversary. No one else can tell you how you feel. And sorry about your mom, thats hard, if you don’t talk to a therapist already I would start, best of luck. :black_heart::crossed_fingers:t3:

1 Like

I mean I practically moved in with my now husband after the first night​:woman_shrugging:t3::joy:

1 Like

l get paid over $110 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $15463 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Details HERE…https://Dollarmagic154.surge.sh

Does he want you to move in with him or him and his roommates? It sounds like he will help you out in some way but not exclusively. You might be getting yourself into a worse situation. He may not like where you are living and just not want to deal with visiting you there. Be very careful. Do not move unless he has established that he can pay at least half the rent if not more if he really wants to remove you from that situation.

Yes, others are writing about how wonderful it was moving in with there now husbands after meeting them for a few months but I don’t think they came from such toxic situations.

1 Like

Give it 6 months at least

Moved in with my boyfriend after 4 weeks …. 17 years later …. We have a happy healthy thriving marriage with 3 happy healthy and thriving children and not once hve we regretted it. To each their own follow your own heart and gut, not some else’s !

4 Likes

Lived together day 1 and 18 yr later

1 Like

What I can tell u is that u gunna have good and bad times no matter who your with. But love shouldn’t hurt. U can be with someone 10 yrs and they won’t show u as much loyalty as someone u might have met a week ago. Some people are in your life for a reason a season a lifetime

4 Likes

I also had a abusive life, I met my husband 2 weeks, I felt safe and both so young, I also didn’t have a choice, it was difficult, because we both worked it out, now this year will be celebrating our 45 yrs of marriage. I know people who knew there partners for years, still didn’t know them, you only know what you want and need , it could be right for you, and wrong for others and vice versa. Good luck ⚘️

4 Likes

Definitely wouldn’t recommend it. I know you want to get away but move in with a girl friend of you want out.

2 Likes

My bf moved in together at 3 months. We are still going strong. It’ll be 5 years this year. Do what feels right.

You don’t know someone until at least 1 year I feel

You still don’t know him. People be with someone 20 years, an this is not who they thought they were, take care of your family an self, an keep your own place to live so you don’t live place to place, you don’t know how long he will help you, you could end up on the streets yourself,take care of your brothers, so you can sleep good, he can still help you if he is a honest person,it’s a mighty poor rat with one hole to run in, someone told me that years ago.

1 Like

l get paid over $110 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $17524 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Details HERE…https://Dollarmagic181.surge.sh

I moved half way in once we started dating :joy: we talked for a month and a half and I moved half way in. Stayed with him every other week. Didn’t fully move in until 5 to 6 months being together lol

Are you taking your brothers with you ?

2 Likes

Me and my fiance moved in together at 6 months now we just had our 3 year anniversary

1 Like

I think u should move out when u can afford an apartment by urself. Even if u move in to a new place with him make sure it’s somewhere that if u split u can still afford it on ur own. If u can’t u should wait

1 Like

If you are asking this then your gut is already answering it

2 Likes

I moved in with my husband and we weren’t even together we were just talking, got engaged after 6 months and now almost six years later we’re happily married for 3 years and 10 months. It’s possible.

2 Likes

My advice is You can trial it and see how you go, a few days at his a week and a few days at your house,
Living together and having sleep overs is completely different, when you’re constantly going home to each other just treat it as the start of the relationship (how’s your day,how was work, do you need anything) from both sides, keep the communication ongoing as it’s SOOO important,
It’s stressful but worth it in my opinion, you have to LEARN to live with someone because they may be like “yeah move in everything will be good” but you honestly won’t know if YOU like it unless you try and see for yourself. X

2 Likes

I know they aren’t your responsibility but what will happen to your brothers if you leave?

8 Likes

If I were in your shoes I’d personally go.

And report your mother.

4 Likes

I want to say no bc it’s been 4 months but at the same time you’re being abused in your current home. If you do leave call CPS so they can at least check the situation out. Either you mom is forced to step up or not and you may be able to get help with housing and kinship placement, get some govt assistance. I’m sorry this is a really shitty situation your parents have you in bc you are not their parent and none of this is your responsibility. I’d encourage you to get into therapy when you can to unpack your life too.

Dumb no. But 4 months isn’t long enough to truly know him. You have to do what’s best for you through your own eyes. If he would have never suggested moving out would you even be considering it?

Follow your heart! I moved in with my boyfriend after only knowing him a Month! We have been married for 39 years! 3 wonderful kids and 5 adorable Grandchildren! If it feels right, only you know! Lots of luck to you and I pray things get better for you!

I wouldn’t trust it. He very well may have the greatest of intentions, but I would stick to what is working for now.

I did it and now I’m a homeowner, soon to be college grad, mommy of a 3 year old and one on the way. My husband and still have a strong relationship and I think it was the best decision I could have made 6 years later. It’s not easy but it can work!!!

When I met my bf he had already been accepted into a college 100 miles away with an apartment. I was upset at first, then the more I went up to see him, the longer I stayed because when I went home I had an abusive step dad who constantly told me how disgusting I was and I wasn’t welcome anymore since I was 18. 3 months after dating I just didn’t come back home. It’s been 3 1/3 years and I haven’t left him for more than a day. Sometimes people truly want to help. But it needs to feel different than all the other “help” you’ve been given or offered. My situation was close to yours but I’m the youngest sibling and no one older looked out for me so when I found my bf, I could tell something was different. This doesn’t mean everything will be fine because we’ve hit every bump in the road there is, but I’m happy I took a chance and got out of there. that was the hardest part.

1 Like

Too soon. Get to know each other better.

1 Like

Know when you do you need to do it on your own you become co-dependent on him and you hear such things as well if you don’t like it get out no do it on your own

1 Like

Stop raising your brothers!!
Tell your mother to be a mother and stop going to her boyfriends every night and raise her boys.
You need to stop it, because for as long as you keep doing it, she’ll keep doing what she wants.
Then you won’t have to worry about moving in with someone. Never let yourself be financially dependent on a man - it gives them way too much control.

8 Likes

l get paid over $110 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $16804 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Details HERE…https://Dollarmagic229.surge.sh

1 Like

l get paid over $120 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $16985 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.

Info Here >>> https://OfferJobs30.surge.sh/

1 Like

Too soon and you won’t be happy abandoning your brothers, give it time

2 Likes

Absolutely. Save the whole time you are there for a place. A few months goes a long way with no bills

Just make sure you aren’t jumping from one frying pan into another.

7 Likes

It would be extremely dumb of you.

1 Like

don’t do it!!! Entirely too soon!!!

1 Like

I would start with short stays for a while to see how he behaves and what it would be like living with him and if your personalities would clash.

5 Likes

Be careful girl. We who were raised this way have a tendency to pick the wrong type of men for the first few times.

6 Likes

And abandon your brothers?? You said 2 are still under working age… :woman_shrugging:… seems like I would do what I needed to to get myself and my brothers out of that situation! But that’s me… I could never abandon my brothers

2 Likes

I don’t think time has anything to do with it. And besides he offered u to move in w him and his roommates. Which basically makes u another roommate. Might be the better option if your conserved about it being too soon. My thought is that to each his/her own. If this is a good option for you, forget anyone else’s opinion and do what’s right for you. If u can get past feeling bad for leaving your brothers w your mom. They are not your responsibility. They are your mothers. If this move helps put u in a better position for your future, then you do you, girly. Put yourself first. You deserve to be happy.

1 Like

Yes I think you need to give it a little longer because someone who wants to be with you would give you the world and not say I will help you out the best I can don’t jump out of one pan into one you hardly know

I would wait :raised_hand: he probably wants to not hear you complain about your underage brothers and what you do for them and feels if you moved out it/you would be calmer- but at what expense?? You mentioned 2 are under age and cannot work, maybe you can get them aid because your mom is ill- find out what can be done and you’ll get more financial support that way and more if a relief too.

Don’t leave and go with someone you barely know- 4 months us not enough time to move in with someone, especially if he has a roommate-
You’d never forgive yourself if your younger siblings have to go into the system because you chose to leave and go where it’s not necessarily greener pastures for you!

Good job on your dedication :clap: God bless :pray:

2 Likes

Girl. I really hope you see this comment…

Do what is going to make YOU happy… When my partner and I got together I had only met him twice before. I trusted my gut and went for it and moved states to be with him. We are coming up to our 2 year anniversary next month. :grin:

5 Likes

You’ve already answered your own question, just by having doubts and not being sure it’s the right thing to do.

Sometimes in life, we try to convince ourselves that “any port in a storm” will do, because we think ANYTHING would be better than where we are at. That’s the wrong reason to jump out of the frying pan right into the fire.

If you’re not happy where you are, think about where you’d rather be, and then put a plan together to make it happen.

I would never advise anyone to move into a situation where they would have to rely on someone else for their own survival.

Good luck, my friend.

3 Likes

I think it’s too soon. At least wait until 6 months into the relationship and start with short weekend stays. Moving in with someone is a hard thing to do. Try to stay 2/3 days per week so you can get along and fix your life first.

Don’t stop leaving your life because of your family. However, just give time to the relationship.

I’d do it. But only because it cant be any worse than what you’re going through now. He lives with roommates so you wont be alone and means rent is prolly divided and you may be able to actually save money for once

Definitely hold off
4 months isn’t long enough to get to know a person let alone move in with them

1 Like

DON’T Do IT!!! It is rough but apply for public assistance and food stamps. God bless you and :pray::pray::pray::pray::pray:

2 Likes

Yes.
Don’t move in with him. Get a job if you don’t have one and find a place that you can afford on your own. Learn to take good care of yourself before you move in with anyone.

1 Like

I moved in with my boyfriend after a month we met ( now husband). He owned a house and he was 32 and I was 29. We’ve been married for 3 years and have a 1 year child. He hesitated for me to move in with him instead or renewing my lease.
So it’s just really depends on a person.

Move in. Just make sure you can come back home if u want

move in. If it doesn’t work at least you’re out of your house and it may be a stepping stone to better things if it works out or not

You need to deal with the home situation at hand or that will follow you when you move out and it will cause problems.

2 Likes

I would wait…mostly because you’re so new and this is something narcissists look for…

2 Likes

Do not jump from the frying pan into the fire. If you’re spending half your money now, get an apartment of your own or with another female.

I’d wait. You dont want to go from the frying pan into the fire. 4 months is not enough time to discover much about someone.

1 Like

I moved in with my husband after dating a month. We’ve been together 6 years. It can work, just be cautious

I moved on with man after three WEEKS. Now it’s been 8 years, 3 kids, two dogs and two cats later lol

1 Like

I moved in with my now husband of going on 4yrs after just a few months when i introduced him to my kids and made sure they were all comfortable around each other. We been dating since 2016, married in 2018, and baby together in 2020. It worked for us, but its not for everyone.

I advise caution and listen to your gut instinct

2 Likes

I did that when I was 17 years old and it was the biggest nightmare of my life for the next 2 years. He started out all sweet and nice and once I moved in about 4 months later the abuse started :upside_down_face: it took me 2 years and his death was the only thing that saved my daughter and mines lives. It was horrible and I still have nightmares about him finding me and that was 38 years ago. PLEASE take your time and really get to know someone at least for a year before deciding to move in together, it very well may save your life :blush:

1 Like

No and do NOT share a bank account.

3 Likes

Girl it don’t matter if you have been with some 2 days or 20 years, if it’s gonna work it’s gonna work and 2 people in love make it happen no matter what. You can’t ask someone else that question. It depends on your love for one another and how you guys do and parenting and your all’s life style.

2 Likes

Do you see a future with this guy? How much do you really know about him?
Weigh it out. What seems the best choice for YOUR mental health?

1 Like

The answer is yes, but you already knew the answer. Work on your own life, help your poor siblings wherever you can and if necessary ask for help for them as they are not in a position to help themselves, they are too young. If this young man is sincere, he will stay to see you through this without putting you into yet another frying pan. Please be cautious. You already have more than enough to deal with, don’t add to your red flag list!

1 Like

Make the decision based on what YOU think is the best thing for YOU.
What are your feelings for him, do you see having a future with him?
If your mom is always gone would your 3 brothers be ok if you left?
Do YOU want to move out? Or are you only considering this because he suggested it?
Other people’s opinions on what you should do is irrelevant and people saying that there is no way the relationship will work cuz it’s to soon is wrong. If a relationship is gonna work its gonna work.
My now husband moved in with me about 3 months after we met, I was pregnant at about 6 months after we met and now 13 years, 3 kids, 2 dogs, and 3 cats later we’re still together.

I would wait to see where this goes. But would not put up with the disrespect of mother and brother’s. I would talk to mother who needs to take responsibility. Then to Human services to take them if mother refuses. Maybe find an studio apartment. But don’t go from the frying pan into the skillet.

Are the brothers going to go with you?

You need to have a sit down chat with your mom.

I understand completely. Tough position. I helped my siblings from total dysfunction and it bit me in the ass everytime.

I moved in after 6 months, Were now 10 years later married with 3 kids.

2 Likes

You don’t need him for you to change your life. If you’re miserable then figure out how to make yourself happy. You can’t depend on others for happiness, if you do you’ll just end up disappointed.

3 Likes

Don’t run from the current situation. Face it and resolve it first. They are your family. Your brothers is depending on you coz they cannot depend on your mom. Try to talk to your mom and see what she can do about the situation to help you out. In time when your bros are all in the right age, they can get a job for themselves and will give back what you have sacrificed for them. Not that you have to expect that but try to wait a little bit more till they can stand on their own. That’s the best time to leave them and have a life of your own perhaps. Or if your boyfriend really loves you. He can stay and still help you. That’s how you can see how sincere he is with you. A family is always a family. It may not be perfect but it’s what’s constant. You can resolve this with them. You’ll be happier if you can. Instead of running away from them. Take care…

2 Likes

Respectfully sis, yeah. You would be dumb to make that move so early. You haven’t seen any signs Yet, but that whole step of living together makes true colors show up quick. Imo, and experience, that whole “lemme save you” bit is most common amongst people hiding something ruthless under the act

5 Likes

You need to contact social services. You need to make sure that your siblings are ok, and yes, you need to get out. You don’t stay in a toxic situation, but you don’t leave your siblings in one either.

2 Likes