They can’t be happy if your not!
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Wow. I need to see this. Im in a complicated situation like this as well.
They need to see you happy. You’re doing the right thing by leaving.
Fix your marriage divorce is awful and selfish.
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I hate the way this is worded because if you were to leave you aren’t putting your happiness before your children. You’re children deserve a happy mom and you deserve to be happy and have have fresh start. please don’t think of it as destroying anything of your children’s. You’ve got this.
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Your happiness makes a better life for your kids. And they also get to learn how you are supposed to treat a partner in life. They get to see happiness and real love.
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Say goodbye and don’t look back 
You were probably just a convenience to him. People get so use to a certain life and sometimes fall out of love it happens and it’s ok! Kids deserve to see and have a happy mommy! I’m sorry if this sounds shallow but girl go live your best life lol!
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Honestly, coming from someone whose parents stayed together “for the kids”, I much rather would’ve had them separate than be unhappy. Kids feel that tension. This man had 10 years to be the husband you needed him to be and he wasn’t, don’t waste another 10 years expecting anything other than what he’s already showed you. Be happy!!
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It’s better for your kids to see you happy with someone other than thier father rather than not happy with him. Do it for you and your kids. Show them how you should be treated. Know your worth. 
It makes it so much better when the parents can stay friends or co parent…My parents divorced when I was a kid and while it sucked at the time, I got over it and glad that they are happy now.
Kids wants happy parents.
If you’re not ok, they’re not ok! It’ll be better for them to see mommy happy and loved than miserable and unappreciated 
I can tell you from experience, your kiddos would much rather see mama happy, than see both parents together but miserable. They will pick up on it. They’ll feel it too. Also, think of what a great example you would be setting for your kids. Teaching them that they deserve a good, loving relationship with their future spouse, leading by example. A “whole” home is not always a happy home. Do what makes YOU happy, your kids will resonate the feeling💕
I don’t like the caption… choosing a man over your kids happiness? Yes I continued to read and that made me a little more understanding but I’m stuck on the wording of the caption
Do you want your kids to stay in a relationship that’s unhealthy and depressing when they get older? No? Then don’t stay in an unhappy relationship that makes them think that they have to endure the same thing when they grow up because that’s what they were taught
Its best to stay where they will see you happy and treated right. He only wants it back because you’re finally happy with someone else who treats you how you asked him to for years! I’m glad you left. Yes in this instance you’re 100% allowed to put yourself first.
If he works on it and is willing to I’d try once more you might get everything you’ve wanted and your family , but do not give him time if he doesnt change now ( you’ll be able to tell within the first month ) then he will not change , but if he does he will know you’re serious about your happiness as you should be , and if it ends up not working out ( hopefully it does for your family ) then dont ever feel bad for considering your happiness just because hes not with you doesnt mean he cant be the best dad , I would personally give my marriage one last try for the kids and for yourself you might enjoy this new guy but you’ll LOVE your husband if he changes and becomes the man you deserve .
They need to see you happy and taken care of properly so your happiness is their happiness. Go be happy whilst taking care of them as well.
It’s better that your kids see a healthy relationship than just seeing their parents together. You are showing your children that they can stand up for how they want to be treated. You need to put your happiness first. You deserve love, you deserve to feel loved and cared for.
It is important for your kids to grow up knowing what a HEALTHY relationship looks like. #fuckhisfeelings
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Your children should have nothing to do with your marriage…kids are only an excuse to stay in an unhappy marriage. Kids need happy parents. And if it takes divorce to achieve that, then so be it.
How is teaching your children that suffering for the sake of being treated as less than is called love “good for them”? How is speaking up for yourself as well as doing what you need to do for you doing something bad to your children? Show the world How To Treat You by doing for you what you wish another would.
Two parents separate but happy is better than two parents together but one is resentful and the other is in their own world
It’s better that they see their mother happy with someone who loves her
Idk if one of the kids is a girl but would you want a daughter to grow up and devote her time and efforts to a man like your husband or would you rather she holds out for a man that treats her like your new man
My parents stayed together for the kids… we definitely suffered much more from that than we ever would have if they would have just split up
Did you really just ask that your kids come first don’t be selfish that’s its all about you
Get therapy for you both…some men were raised this way they seen their mother take it so that’s what they seen…he maybe thinking he’s doing nothing wrong cause you built your life around him and he got comfy and he probably will very confused when you tell him help is needed he probably won’t know who you are cause you pretend he was perfect…but he needs to be told how you feel real quick…it’s not fair to any of you…Don’t see him as a jerk cause you built him to think you don’t need flowers or a different person…stay with him but with couples therapy…let it be known what YOU want as well…
U deserve to be happy. U tried to forgive the loser for cheating on u. Don’t feel bad any longer. If he couldn’t get it right the first time he’s not gonna get it right the second time. Move the hell on
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U should of did therapy before jumping om another man its selfish ur being selfish. U have ur entire life to be selfish when they leave u.
Girl walk away from your selfish husband. He will not change and if he’s never made an effort for you just go. It’s not selfish to want a partner it’s basic and minimum amount of care needed. You do not have to light yourself on fire to keep anyone warm.
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It’s good he cares for his kids but your just there as far as he is concerned… find some 1 that actually loves U & Cares for U … cause he don’t
That’s awesome if he loves n ur kids go for it because soon they’ll be all grown up n on there own…good luck momma:purple_heart:
Girl go be happy trusstt me. It’s better for you and the kids. You only have one life don’t be miserable in it.
Do what makes you happy!! Life is too short…
Move on and take your kids with you, it’s the best gift you can give them and yourself
“If mama ain’t happy…ain’t nobody happy” is a real thing
Do not stay for the kids!
This was right below your post, on my feed. It’s not selfish to be happy. A happy mom, is a mom who is setting a good example to her kids. Do what feels right
Staying together for the kids is stupid and generally causes problems. He deserves his kids as you do, however you and him don’t need to be together to raise kids
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I think you can be the best parent you can be when you’re happy. You gave him 10 years to treat you right. It shouldn’t take him seeing you with someone else to finally realise all be lost. He honestly probably regrets losing you because of all the things you did for him and now he has to do shit for himself for once. That’s not good enough. And it sounds like you’ve found a great guy who is also going to be a good adult male figure in their lives in addition to their biological father.
Girl! Being unhappy is not healthy for the kids, of course you do need to put your happiness first sometimes! It doesn’t mean you are a bad mother it means you are finally doing something to make YOU happy, do NOT let anyone take that away from you or try to guilt trip them
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In order to be the best mumma to your kids you have to be selfish and think if your self, your mental health. If your happy now thats brilliant your babies have their happy mumma back. If your family works better with you and your husband separated then you do that! Sending hugs❤
Never ever stay with someone for the sake of the child/children they may grow up thinking that that is what love is supposed to be and could cause them issues as adults.
You don’t need to be smothered with gifts to be happy lol. My partner of 4 years has only gotten me 1 gift threw out our relationship and honestly the best gift he has given me are my two kids. 
You being happy and being treated well is looking out for your kids. Going back is only looking out for him. No one else.
Your children deserve a happy mother bc if you are happy then it spills over into every other aspect of your life & your kids will know the difference. I do not believe in staying in an unhealthy relationship for the kids bc the kids will not be as happy bc they will always sense the tension & unhappiness in your home between you & your husband. Making your happiness a priority is important
How would staying in an unhappy marriage make your kids happy? Because their parents are under the same roof? Happy parents whether you are together or not make happy kids. Miserable parents make miserable kids. The only one who benefits from getting back together is your husband and it doesn’t sound like he’s really happy either just going through the motions. I think you know what to do.
If you stay for the kids your kids will know it and they will be miserable you have to be happy for yourself in order to provide a happy environment for your children. Divorced parents are sometimes better parents then when they were married.
A relationship built on guilt will eventually evolve into anger and resentment. Your ex can have a good healthy relationship with your children. You two can also build and maintain a friendly parental unit for your children. Sounds to me like he would be the one to benefit most from you caveing to his request. You have an opportunity to build a life with someone who loves and values you!Putting yourself and your happiness first does not make you selfish. Sometimes we just need to recognize when to let go and move on. Good luck!
Be a mother first! You chose it, don’t make them feel neglected too! So much disfunction, I feel sad for the kids.
2 happy homes are better than 1 miserable home 
You’re happy…your kids will be happy because that will be their environment.
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If you’re not happy,than neither are your kids. Sounds like your ex just wants to control all of you.
Personally, my children’s happiness is mine. I would put them first and go back. I’d rather my children grow with both parents in the home. Especially if he is an amazing father.
A happy mom is way better for your kids than their parents being together. They can have both of their parents, just not in the same house.
You can’t pour from an empty cup and you deserve to be happy just as much as your babies deserve to be raised by a happy mother. You deserve a healthy and happy relationship just as much as your children deserve to see one as an example for them, whether it comes in the form of mom and stepdad or mom and dad or any combination. You need to set the example of a well lived life for your children and making yourself and your happiness a priority is part of how you do that. It’s totally normal to feel guilty, I think motherhood is synonymous with guilt lol, but try to overcome that guilt and just be happy and fully believe that you deserve to be happy and feel loved
You were a child when you started having children. See a professional counselor please. It might save you and your kids. They will do best with a happy stable mom and that doesn’t have to mean married to dad.
Well you cant take the chance of them seeing you be mistreated and unhappy he should have fixed it when you gave him a second chance one he didnt deserve
They need you happy. Never never never stay with thw other parent just to make the kids happy bc it doesn’t. My mom did that and kf hurt us more
I don’t mean to sound harsh but if you’ve made your feelings clear and your partner chooses to ignore it then leave. They aren’t going to change. They aren’t going to do better. Why question yourself when you can just leave and be happy.
Don’t stay with the husband if you’re not happy. Leopard doesn’t change its spots. Be happy and the kids happiness will follow.
Having a messed up relationship causes issue for the kids.
My older kids are now 10,9 and 6. I left their dad about 3-4 years ago now and they always tell me how glad they are I left and how they like the man I’m married to now and the relationship I am in where it’s happy and not toxic
Your kids can’t be happy if their momma isn’t happy…period!
I’m in the same boat hun but they deserve to see their parents happy cuz it teaches tbem how they should be treated as adults and in relationships
Better to come from a broken home, than live in a broken home.
- He will not change for you because he doesn’t want to change…for you.
Do with that information what you will.
Happy mom, happy kiddos!
Nothing wrong eith being happy. Better than them seeing you miserable!
Kids deserve happy parents. If you aren’t happy, your kids won’t be truly happy either.
Dont stay for the kids , they dont like that , trust me , i did it for decades , kids brew up told me it sucked .
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Then show him this post and go to therapy together
Simple
Happy mum means happy kids
Give him another chance. Don’t give up without a fight
Girl.
… u will regret it forever if u don’t FOLLOW YOUR HEART.
You have already left…move forward
you can co parent. don’t go back!
Make yourself happy momma!!!
Leave him and you were burning the lake of fire. You need to such example or your kids will follow in your footsteps.
Your happiness affects your kids happiness.
Divorce the idiot and marry the new man…
Happy mum =happy kids
You’re already seeing someone else. This question answered itself
Happy moms raise happy kids!! Do you and your life will be so full of love your kids will be fine!! 
Ok, this is the 3rd post I have seen about husbands, I will say this again…you married to my husband?
I think this mf’ker got wives everywhere and disappointing every damn one of us 
Your happiness is their happiness
Your happiness improves theirs
Even if it doesn’t work out with a new guy don’t go back
You be happy your kids will be happy 
yeaaaa screw that dude
Reread your post out loud. I believe you answered your own question. Be happy or be miserable 
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File for the divorce & move on.
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тнe вeѕт тнιng yoυ can do ғor yoυr ĸιdѕ ιѕ gιve тнeм a нappy & нealed мoтнer. wнen we нυrт, we υnιnтenтιonally нυrт тнoѕe aroυnd υѕ.
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If ur happy ur kids will be happy mama live happy
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Happiness is a choice. You say he’s a good father. What else is he good at? I have learned that being thankful for what I have changed my perspective on life. So you bought yourself presents…did he complain that you spent money on you?
You say he wants you back, is he willing to start over with marriage counseling? If he only cheated the one time and you forgave him, maybe he is willing to forgive you for cheating on him now too.
I think when we put others first, they will eventually realize that was a sacrifice for us.
Or you can just follow your heart like everyone else says and miss out on the greatest joy…growing old with your childhood sweetheart. Sometimes doing the hard thing is worth the effort. But I highly recommend marriage counseling before you make a final decision. The grass is only greener where there’s more “fertilizer “.
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Do what makes you happy . If he didn’t change in those 10 years hunny he isn’t going to change now . Stay with someone who makes you happy , loved and appreciated. It’s a extra bonus he’s great with your kids . He’ll never replace their dad but he’s a stand up guy for including them Andy wanting a future as a family . Stay where you are ! You shouldn’t have to beg or ask for affection/love or gifts . Looks like he’s getting his reality check how happy you are !
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Honestly, I think you’ve already made your decision and are asking more for validation than advise. And honestly, I wouldn’t take advice about making a choice because at the end of the day the marriage is between the 2 of you. We are only hearing one side of the story.
I will give you this word of caution…this new relationship you are in is very new. I would take things very slowly, like turtle friendship new. Take time to REDISCOVER YOU before starting another relationship. Take a breather in life. And if this new guy likes you enough, he’ll understand and patiently wait for you to do some self discovering. I agree we only get this life to be happy, just don’t ever believe that you need a man to make you happy. Be happy on your own first.
Get your kids to a better place as well. Sounds like there is a lot of personal growth and awareness that needs to happen for everyone (kids included) before you start dating. I say this because Mom and Dad divorcing is a lot to begin with for kids to adjust to. I don’t know if I would add Mom is dating a new guy right away on top of that. Make sure your kids are well adjusted first before dating and comfortable with the change.
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Choose you. Happy Mom equals happy kids!! Speaking from experience.
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Your children should be your happiness! Period! Consider being single for awhile and learn to love yourself and spend your time focusing on your children. Them being such a young age, that time is precious!
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