NO!!! Keep her home until she is well and allow him a couple of extra days when it’s his time to have her with him again
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Whats best for the child … If she is severely ill and moving around makes her uncomfortable…both parents should come to an agreement and maybe make provision for make up visits…sigh…#sodepressing#
Follow the court order unless the father agrees otherwise. The father wouldn’t have court ordered time if the judge felt he couldn’t take care of his child while sick. And I also wouldn’t ask her what she wants to do or bring her into an adult conversation that she has no say in. That could only cause more hurt for her and is frowned upon in court. I would just reassure her that her daddy loves her and will take good care of her and let her know mommy loves her and will be by the phone if she needs anything at all… and sending a couple favorite things from home to comfort her is a good idea too.
If you lived together would you be ok with him staying with her? Well he is her father so I hope so… parenting is a 2 person job ( if you’re lucky) let hime help out it’s his daughter too…
It’s your decision, I wouldn’t. She needs to rest and get better! You didn’t mention her age. Legally you do not have to, and the time does not have to be made up. Hopefully she feels better soon!
If he’s okay with her being there while sick, and she feels up to it, then she should go. He is right, it is a court order. So unless you feel like taking it to the court system right now, just let her go with her dad.
Only time the child doesn’t have to go is if she’s hospitalized. Send her to her dads
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Yes send her. He’s capable of taking care of her, I’m sure. Our judge said being sick wasn’t a reason to miss a visit
If dad is able and willing to take care of her I think I would let her go. However I think it would be hard and I completely understand you being hesitant to do so!
Its co-parenting. If she is up to it and he is willing to take care of her then let him. One of my girls always wants to go to dads no matter sick or not and my other only wants me when she is sick. And we both respect their wants and needs
I wouldn’t but that’s bcuz I don’t think he would take care of my son the way he needs to be taken care. It’s all about your trust level. Especially with covid.
It depends. I would ask her if she feels up to it. If she is moving around fine she can go to dads. If not then you should re-discuss it. Her health is what is most important. My kids have gone to their dads or home when not feeling well.
Yes. She will be sick regardless. As long as he knows the situation and is willing to nurse her while she is with him, she should go. It’s not only a mother’s job to care for the child/ren.
If he wants to put up with the flu and all that fun stuff, let him! It’s co-parenting… Dads can take care of sick kids too… single dads do it all the time… js🤷♀️
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Yes, it’s her father. It’s not like she’s going to a friends house to have fun. If he lived with you would you stop him from caring for her because she was sick? And especially if its court ordered.
It is hard as a mother to not be with your child while they are sick. But follow the court order if he is wanting to care for her. My ex unfortunately still took my sick child camping and to the movies while they were sick even though I advised him not to.
Does she want to go to Dad? Does she have better accomodations at your house or can he provide just as much round the clock care? Are there others he could unnecessarily expose her to? I’d discuss it all in great detail with him, and if he’s content having her come to his house, babying her constantly while she mostly sleeps, then by all means, have him come pick her up.
I will say, you both talking to your daughter may help you see how is best to meet her needs while she’s sick, as a TEAM, because coparenting even through illness is essential. I always wanted to be close to my Dad when I wasn’t feeling well. If given the option to be miserable at home or be miserable with Daddy, Daddy was my choice every single time. If he does end up skipping this weekend, which he needs to agree to, then you need to give him another weekend of his choice in the immediate future.
I have been through this at times I let my babies go and other times I didnt…if your baby has a temp and she is young keep her at home…im sorry but there is a pandemic going on and she needs to be in one environment until she is feeling better…its not being selfish or disrespectful to her father its being responsible he shouldnt want her risking her health …in normal times sure but now no.
Instead of thinking whose weekend it is and fighting over should she go because “it’s court ordered”…why not think of the child. Maybe the kid should stay in…right where she is. Her getting out in the heat…moving around is not good for her. The doctor usually tells you to go home, stay in, rest and drink plenty of fluids. Give the next weekend to him. If he is that insistent on seeing her…let him come over and visit for a while. She probably just wants to sleep and rest anyway.
If he still wants his child. I say send her. He needs to know what to do if she is sick too. It’s a lot of fathers that can care less. He sounds like a good one.
Better question why on earth are you asking for parenting advice on fb??!
You and dad need to learn to communicate and love the child as her parents, not use her as a tool for a power struggle!!
Hopefully she feels better soon!
My ex is the biggest pia, however, he knows our boys want their mom when they are sick and let’s them stay. I would offer to swap weekends IF your daughter wants to stay with you. But if your daughter is indifferent, I dont think her dad is a second class citizen in her life, hes just as much her parent as you are. Its more about the two of you working together to give your daughter her best life 
good luck!
My kids father would say “leave them home because I know they’ll want mommy. If they need anything please let me know”. My kids are very attached to me and he is very understanding about it. Due to having it court ordered you have no say. There’s a reason for a court order. And if he’s willing to do the job of a parent (in which he is) then let him do his job as one.
I’m confused by why this is even a question. Her fathers house is her house also. Unless there is something going on that we don’t know about, her dad is just as able to take care of her as mom is. The drive from moms to dad isn’t going to take away from her resting. Unless she is hospitalized, this shouldn’t even be a question. It’s dads time with her and he can care for her when she’s sick.
I would not send my kid sick nowhere even to her dads she should not be exsposing the flu and I would not want the child away from me while their sick
If he knows she’s sick and insists on taking her, and you know he’s going to care for her as she needs then yes, send her. She can rest there too. If he isn’t really the nuturing type and you know she’s going to be pushed to do activities she shouldn’t then no. Court order or not the cops aren’t going to break down your door and demand to hand over a sick kid, yeah mayyybe he will file with the court you didn’t agree but you state your reasoning why and it’s over. Hopefully he’s a loving caring dad and will take care of his baby
I personally know my ex-husband doesn’t want to or like to care for sick kids so I always tell him when they are sick and he doesn’t take them. Sometimes we just switch weekends or something to make up for the missed time.
Toss her back and forth…can’t even recover when she is sick…so sad
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My daughter’s father has court ordered visitation too and regardless of that he would understand and tell me to keep her home so that she’s not being dragged out while she is not feeling well and that instead of taking her that week he could see how she is feeling the week after. You are in the right and he is in the wrong and should stop being selfish. I understand he might want to see his daughter however he should be understanding at the same time and not want to drag her out of the house because she is not feeling very well. You and your daughter’s father should see how she is feeling the week after and if she feels better she can go then.
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If he’s willing to care for her while she’s sick he has that right. Just because a child is sick doesn’t mean the other parent can’t be a parent
Who has legal.custody, not physical custody, but legal.custody? Whoever has legal custody has final say on medical care of the child. Or ask the kid’s doctor if kid should stay put or is ok to.go. Doctor’s notes are documentation for court. Or be adults and just switch weekends. Courts only get involved if one parent pushes it. You can come to a compromise without the court, especially since this is likely only an occasional thing.
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Uh, yes. She’ll be sick at moms so why can’t she be sick at dads? He’s even asking for her. I know we’re supposed to be polite on here, but this is a ridiculous question.
Unless the mom is going to give the dad two weekends in a row to make up for the time loss - I say stick to the court ordered parenting plan and leave the mess behind.
If he is capable of caring for her yes. If you fear he can not take care of her needs then keep her but he can also start playing that game… No the police will not force you to send her but still. Sounds like he is a good father to want her knowing she is sick.
If you’ve had her for a few days and its his time then yes. Just pack her medications and fluids if it makes you feel better and check up on her frequently
He’s her dad correct? He has just as much rights as you do as her mother. Maybe he wants to care for his sick child as well. Be thankful you have a parent who wants to see their child ill or not. There are a lot of moms out there that don’t have a dad asking to see their child. I understand moms always want to be there for their children at all times but when coparenting is involved we don’t always get to have that when we want. I coparented 5 children so I do understand how you feel as I’ve been there. I’m blessed to say mine are grown adults now and I don’t miss those coparenting days. Hope your little one is better soon.
I’ve gone through the same. Sending my daughter to her Dads with RSV, FLU and pneumonia. Just ask him politely to stay in contact/communication with you. He doesn’t have to, but try going about it the nice way 
When my son starts feeling sick while with me I keep him home to reduce the number of people exposed. In doing so I will switch weekends with his dad. I would want him to do the same though usually he brings him home so I can be the one to take him to the doctor if needed.
I thank you are both right the two of you need to talk and decide together what is right for your child all so talk to your kid and see what they would like to do. I understand why dad would like to have his child so this is something the two of you have to decide together.
Who wants to be traveling while suffering with the flu?
Should we be spreading the flu?
She might be just a child, but fighting over like she is a possession is poor parenting.
It doesn’t matter how the dad or mom feels. The child is sick and should be where she will be taken care of. I don’t think she should be going from 1 house to the other personally. If the parents get along, maybe they will do the best for the child. Maybe he could have her when she’s well even if it’s not his weekend
Could he possibly wait til she feels better then take her 2 weekends in a row?? That woukd make up for this weekend
Follow the court order by all means! I know you’re thinking by doing so you’re not a good mom! But he is her dad and I’m pretty sure he will take care of her! Just make sure she has what she needs! 
for her! My 2 had it in February and I was stuck doing the same thing Nd they came home back to normal asking to go to the mall smh lol
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Let him take her. She needs to know dad can take care of her too. By not allowing her to go you send the wrong message. You look as if you are using her against him. Be grateful she has a dad that cares.
First of all… if my child is sick… I wouldn’t make them go anywhere. Do you want to get up and travel when you don’t feel well? I don’t. My child wants me when she is sick. It’s comforting. Sometimes it needs to be about the child and not court order
These comments are absurd 
Not one time did she say her ex-husband was incapable of caring for their child. It is COMPLETELY normal for a mother to take on a heavier nurturing role when her child is sick. I had the flu last year and I thought I was going to die. I was basically in and out of consciousness. The last thing I wanted to do was go anywhere. If she’s super sick, let her stay and work out next weekend with dad.
Mothers are not the only parents able to care for their ailing children. Fathers can do it just as well & sometimes better.
Also, don’t violate court order just because she’s ill. Ask dad & her, what they might consider first then make a plan all together or just send her & if dad needs to bring her back then he can.
Yes, rest is much needed when ill, but a car ride to dad’s isn’t going to kill her & as long as dad ensures she gets rest with him & he cares for her as he should then there’s no reason she can’t go.
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But at the same time sick kids usually want their mothers I personally would keep her with me no need spreading germs everywhere if he doesn’t understand that he has a problem never had a court order but let my kids decide on their own what they felt comfortable with
If it’s his weekend and he wants her then yes. Are you worried he won’t take care of her? Does she not want to go? Or are you just worried because your sick child won’t be in your care? If it’s the last one then she should definitely go because that’s what co-parenting is. Unless you have reason to believe he won’t take care of her.
Dad can nurse her just as well as you can. Why would you not trust him??
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If he wants to take her while sick then let him. He knows the risks if anyone in his household gets sick and he’s taking that chance. I have full custody but the kids Dad gets to see them ever other weekend but we both go on what is happening in each other’s household. If the kids are sick they stay home and then try the next weekend. Most of the time we don’t go by the parent order in place but go with the flow. Especially this year since we have had to self-quartine twice. Luckily we get along and easy going when it comes to visits
I don’t think it is right to send her when she is sick. She needs to be home resting so she can get better. If he is any kind of dad he should understand that.
I have a shared parenting arrangement too. does he want his household to get the flu.? Get the dr to ring him and tell him the rules are to stay home if you are sick.
Then again if you need a rest then look after yourself and get him to help…
I am glad my divorce happened before they had all these rules. I personally would keep her but, I have to give the dad kudos for wanting to take her. My ex was never interested,
I’d say keep her home you want to take her out of the house and get even sicker that would do more harm to her and plus get the other ones sick as well and if she more comfortable at home with Mom then leave her alone and let her get better he’ll live without seeing her until she gets better
She will be taking it to his house then also! I would say wherever she would feel more comfortable!
Court order doesn’t prevent you from keeping her home when ill. Even though as a mom I would rather her stay home with me,but my court order she would still have to go
I’d let dad decide. If it’s his parenting time he should have a say. My husband would take his daughter on every scheduled day unless she was physically too sick to come over.
I would ask the child. Some kids prefer a certain parent when sick. But I always think it should be up to the child if they go or not. Why make the child more uncomfortable by being away from her prefered parent?
Get a drs note stating that she should not be moved and stay home…let him bring you to court and show drs note. You have every right as a mother especially when your child is sick with the flu to do what is best for their health.
Our order had a clause about it she was sick she wouldn’t go and it would be made up later…
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Poor kiddo. Send her. Let him
Catch it then maybe he will understand that house swapping when you are just going to spend the whole time in bed is ridiculous. How can she heal if she is bouncing around
Well if you have a court order it doesnt matter if she is sick and doesnt feel well or not, she still goes with dad. Idk why people are trying to tell you not to take her you could get into some serious trouble if you don’t obey your court orders.
I would send her. It’s a court order and he is her parent so he should have the skills to care for her while she is sick as well. If he is asking for he and not concerned about catching the flu or anyone else in the home getting sick.
My middle one is supposed to go to her dads every other week.
In April my youngest was sick and the middles one step brother was sick at her dads. I kept the middle one home. We could prove what it was, so to stay safe, we just held off switches for a couple weeks.
But, it was a joint decision between me and her dad.
I know when I’m sick I just want to lay in bed and be left alone. Moving her around place to place might not be what’s best for her at the moment. Maybe you guys could come up with a compromise so he stills gets his time with her.
Unless it states something in the order about child being ill, then the order wins. Unless father agrees, which it says he doesn’t then he can hold you in contempt for withholding custody/visitation.
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He can take care of her if she is sick…I know it sucks but you can’t always be the caregiver he needs to be too if she was sick and it was your visit would you be upset if he said you couldn’t have her because she was sick …I can guarantee you you would be follow the court order she can rest just as well there as your house mama bear
He is selfish she is sick let her stay home and go to dad when she is well
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Moms are not the only ones who can take care of sick kids.
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Laws are different in every state. Personally I wouldn’t withhold a child due to illness IF he is willing to take her. That is still his parenting time. If you can work out a different agreement then that’s cool too.
What does the child want, being sick… is she so sick she’s in bed? Who wants to be moved all around when they’re sick.
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It all depends. How old is your child? What’s your child’s relationship with their father? What does your child think? Is he truly a good dad and capable of taking care of your child? There’s a lot of things to take into consideration.
He is obviously capable of taking care of her, thats why he said he still want to see her and spend his time with her, and if she wants to go, the she should go.
No… no… no… I strongly feel that when kids are sick they need to be home in their beds where they are most comfortable…have dad come visit her so he can see she is really sick or just change weekends and let her visit the next 2 weekends
No. My parents divorced when I was 18 months old. They had joint custody of me. If I was sick on my dads weekend he would just get me the following weekend. Even if its court ordered; were living in different times now, every one is at risk of catching anything. If he has other children with his current relationship or if he doesn’t; by sending your sick child to his house you’re raising the risk of him getting sick and making your child sicker by having he or she uprooted. We all know how the flu makes you feel TERRIBLE. Keep your child home.
My daughter always wants to be with me when she’s sick. Hopefully he would understand that she simply wants to be with mom right now.
How far apart do you live? If it’s a lengthy drive then maybe not but if he is within short distance and is willing to care for a sick kid then let him have her. Or at the least offer to change days so he can still get his time after she is better.
He is her parent as well and is willing to care for her, let him be a dad.
Maybe you should ask the dad if you could keep her home this weekend but you’ll give him a make up weekend the following weekend and he’ll see her 2 weekends in a row
I’d ask the daughter what does she want to do
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Unless there is a valid reason as to why, like the father will not care for her properly, so she is just to sick to stand the care ride. Or the child truly just doesn’t want to go. Then the child needs to go to her father’s…
Most fathers are capable of caring for their sick child.
Just being sick is not a good reason to keep the child with you. Kids are typically cuddley when sick, it’s will be a great bonding time for them. They can sit on the couch and watch movies and just snuggle.
I have been in the situation where my child or children haven’t felt well or been sick and they went to their fathers. I have also been in the situation where they have stayed home. I always ask my children if they want to go and if they decide they want to go then they go if they want to stay home they stay home. Their dad is capable of taking care of them when they are sick. But we always let our children decide because we are coparenting and sometimes they just want to be with dad. We don’t have a court order as to when he sees them or gets to take them. We are their parents he can have them or take them as much as he wants. As long as it doesn’t interfere with school he can take them for as long as he wants(within reason of course) ASK THE BABE if he/she wants to go to their dads if old enough to make the choice let them go.
I would say you’re right. If she goes and then he or anyone else in the house gets sick he might blame you. Furthermore your daughter is going to need to rest so it’s not going to fun times. If he’s willing to accept reponsibility for assisting with with the recuperation (making sure to administer medicine, providing nourishing foods and allowing her to rest) and he accepts the fact that he may be at risk for catching the flu then it may be ok
I would tell the Dad he’s more than welcome to come to your house and help take care of her. She could also tell him she’d rather stay home
Funny thing is if the m mom said she was sick and the dad declined to take her for that. Yell would be all over how he don’t care about his kids. The mom would throw in his face that he wouldn’t take her when she needed him to.
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I’m in Oregon and court order or not the cops don’t get involved much. They encourage the parents to get along or go back to court. If my daughter had the flu I’d keep her. I doubt her dad would want her. But I don’t have a court order or him on the bc due to his treatment of myself and daughter while pregnant and even after.
My mom always kept me home when I was sick. One, so I dont spread germs to another household. Two, because when I was 11 and had the flu I didn’t even want to move to use the bathroom let alone pack a bag and have to travel to another household 2 times within a couple of days. She only sent me while sick when I was super young and couldn’t be alone and he was off when she had to work.
Ask the child if she’s old enough. And as a compromise have her father come over and sit with her at your house watch TV, eat dinner, help make her feel better. Be amicable and always put your daughter first.
Half of y’all saying keep her with mom wouldn’t be saying the same thing if she was sick at Dad’s. I’m sure Mom wouldn’t be if the situation was reversed either. Court orders happen for a reason. This shouldn’t even be a question of am I right or is he. Which is all it is because there are no real details. Just an omg she has the flu and he still wants to take her and I don’t wanna let her go and I need these internet strangers to tell me I’m right and he’s wrong like right now. Petty much? In a perfect world a child wouldn’t be split between homes to begin with but life doesn’t always work out as planned. Sick or not there’s still a schedule to maintain. That schedule and routine makes it easier on the child to have some normalcy in the situation. Why shouldn’t she get her weekend with her dad? Why shouldn’t he get time with her daughter? Taking care of a sick kid is all part of parenting.
It’s his kid too. He’s the other parent theres no reason the child shouldn’t go.
If there’s a court order, you can’t keep him from taking her legally. I’m sure he’s very capable of caring for his child.
Only you and the dad can answer that question because you know your situation. Because if the child is sick and sleeping most of the time what time is anyone spending with the child, and depending on how old the child is he or she may prefer one parent over the other when they are sick. And a loving parent would want their children to be comfortable and get well. And there will be no need for being in contempt of the court. You want what’s best for you child at all times.
No they need rest not jostled around for the sake of a parents feeling
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If dad is competent enough to care for a sick child, I would let her go. Especially if there’s a court order. He wants to care for his baby too.
Ofcourse she should go with her dad if he is willing to take care of her and wants her. Mom and Dads should be viewed equally… not to mention the court order and it’s his weekend. This shouldn’t even be a debate…
First if your child is sick, let them decide where they want to be. Comfort is a major want when people want when they are sick. Second, the flu??? Already? Wow very early in the season.
No I wouldn’t, kids need to feel comfortable and to me that would be where they spend most of their time…
Regardless of the court order that’s her father. If he wants her when she’s sick he has the right to take care of her too…
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He’s her dad… why can’t he take care of his child when she is ill? When my parents were divorced I lived with my dad growing up, the amount of times he rubbed my back when I was sick and nursed me back to health is more than I can even count. I know as a mother I would want to keep tabs on my sick child every waking moment but hopefully you and her father can be awesome co parents (even if it’s just for while she is sick) and keep in close contact while she is ill.
I think you should do whatever is best for your children and you both should be able to put whatever differences or court orders you have aside for them.
It’s not about you once you have children together
I would if my child was happy to go. If my child said they wanted to stay home id communicate with the dad about coming round and spending time at mine, whilst i caught up on housework or had a nap if needed etc. Dads can care for kids just as good as us mums (unless theres history of otherwise) hope shes better soon.