I have had 2 grandfather’s growing up. After my grandma’s divorce the man who I know as Grandfather- Papa Jim- dropped out of my life. I did look for him for my wedding and was upset that I couldnt find him. I would have loved for him to stay in my life and meet my kids…
I am still involved. My ex’s oldest and I are best friends. I think it depends on what you and they want. If they are very young I’d probably step back. But if the desire is mutual why not.
I never really knew my dad. He has 4 other kids by 2 different women. My younger siblings mom still always invites be to my siblings birthdays and little get togethers when they are in town. I actually talk to her more than my dad talks to me. The situation is a little different but the children will definitely appreciate it
I married my husband when his son was 4. We were married 20 yrs and had 2 more kids. I never treated him any different than the other 2, I just had 3 kids. When we split up, the kids were still my kids and, more importantly, siblings. They will forever be in each other’s lives, and mine❤️
I stayed in touch with the children thru their mom (dad is a POS and walked out of all the kids lives). The other Kom and I are great friends. Anyway you put it the kids are brothers/sisters. And deserve to know each other.
I moved 900 miles to be with my step daughters after their dad and I divorced!!! I have been in their lives since they were babies!!!
My mom and step dad divorced when I was around 13. My youngest brother was around 5 and his biological son. My step dad let me live with him so I didn’t have to switch schools etc. He is still very much in our lives 11 years later. Maybe more so than my actual parents. I personally would be there for them if they want.
My mom started dating a guy when I was 1 and she was with him til I was 10 never married and I’m now 34 and I’m still close with him he’s my step dad! We talk every weekend!
I have two step sons who are grown and my husband and I have a son together. If we ever were to divorce I would still keep in contact with the boys. I have raised them. I was the only mother figure they had from ages 10 and 11. I also have a granddaughter from the oldest. There is no way I would cut ties with them just because of their dad. I love them like my own. But every situation is different. I could see if you had not been together long or you weren’t a part of their life.
My stepfathers we’re in my life for a long time and when my mom divorced them
Both just left me too. It hurt me. How can you claim to love someone then just walk away? So please talk to the children and ask.
With my first husband, his son lived in Florida with his mon while we lived in PA. We rarely saw him. We did have him the summer that my son, his half-brother, was born, but that was the last I saw of him. He is now married and has a son of his own. My son is happy to be a 14 year old uncle.
I had no relationship with my step kids after my divorce. Was married almost 9 years.
My dad was married 5 times. Once to my mom. Another lady younger then him. No.idea where she is. My stepmom Vona whom I love and care about. And is still part of my life. He married a lady who passed away. And his last wife we send Christmas cards every year. I think if you love them then yes or they have been a big part of your life. Yes.
Not the kids fault, so don’t blame them, chances are your important to them. Love them no matter what
I still have a relationship with my stepdad and my mom divorced him well over 30 years ago. My husband and I are split up and he has a relationship with my 4 boys from my first marriage.
I was in my stepdaughter’s life from the time she was 3, divorced her dad when she was 16. We maintain contact multiple times per weeks, i am Gammy to her new baby, they come to my house as often as they want, she is still my daughter and my door is always open for her. She talks to me more than she does her dad. I am on vacation currently and she was at my house yesterday swimming. We are very much involved. I told her, I am divorcing your dad, not you. And I maintain that, she knows she can call me at any time of any day with any needs and I am there for her. She is my daughter.
Ive dealt with my stepmom divorcing my dad, ive never been married.
I was 10 when they got married and 23 when they got divorced. She completely ghosted me and my son. Havent spoke with her in a year and a half. Its so heart breaking. If you have a relationship with the kids, please stay in their lives. Im old enough to understand, but it doesnt make the pain go away.
Coming from the kid perspective… I think if they want a relationship with you then yes 100%. Because keeping that relationship with my step dad after my mom and him divorced meant everything to me.
I stayed in my stepchildrens lives was not their fault there all grown and have kids of their own just made my family bigger!
My husbands mother divorced his stepdad when my husband was 12… His stepdad has not missed a birthday party for any of our five kids… We go to his house every Christmas 
My kids still talk with my exes and their kids still talk with me. We know its not the kids fault and they had nothing to do with it.
I never saw or talked to my dad’s wife after they separated. My sisters still talk to her and her sons from time to time but I wasn’t interested. I think it depends on the children if they want to continue the relationship or not.
I am in the middle of a divorce now and I still see my step kids and talk to them regularly and my ex still talks to my kids from a previous relationship
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Depends. I’d say yes,it’s the kids that want that closeness still.,but if their older and don’t…it’s their choice .
It’s a depending on situation ,I’d say .
And if ur still friends, with ex, then it helps .
I’m still involved in my step kids life! Of course, they were older and able to decide on their own … And they know I love them as much as my own children … I imagine that if someone wasn’t very close to their stepchildren then there wouldn’t really be a point in staying in their lives
Or it’s similar if your parent dies and they were married to your stepmom. Do you still keep in touch with them the stepmom. I guess it depends on the age of the stepkid and the relationship quality Im place with the stepparent. If there’s no relationship, you may never see that former stepmom again.
Depends on what role and how long you were in their lives.
Why wouldn’t you still be in the kids lives as much as comfortably possible
Nothing should alter in your heart for the kids because of divorce
If you are close to the children and have a good relationship with them, then I’d say Yes, as long as it was ok with their mom.
I would think it depends on your relationship with the kids prior to divorce.
When I met my exhusband he had a 7 month old daughter i helped raise her. We divorced after she turned 15. Me n his daughter r still close even after we divorced n when he passed away we still talk to each other.
If you have a relationship with them, of course you should they wear your bonus children. If you did not have a relationship, I guess that would be between you and the children. I most certainly would, they were my kids also.
I divorced the man not the children, my children he had before the marriage and my children I had before the marriage still live as siblings
If my husband and I divorced you’d have to pray my step daughter apart. Nothing and no one would break our bond!
If you have a good relationship with them and you are the parent of their siblings why wouldn’t you continue the relationship? The kids are not the ones getting a divorce parents are.
I think this is common sense if you love those kids and they are family than duh keep it together family its number one
I’m 20 + years divorced and still see my ex’s side of the family several times a year. The kids all refer to me as “aunt”, etc. and I am invited to every family event…wedding, showers, baptisms, graduations…I love it and I could stay and have stayed with my ex-in laws also…they love it when I visit! I’m sure it’s not for everyone’s family but it is for me!!
Simply are you divorcing their dad or their dad and them. I see my bonus kids often. I raised them 6.5 yrs. They were my babies and still are
When we seperated he still wanted me around the kids and the kids still come to my house and the mom is ok with that we all spent mothers and fathers day together
If you had a good relationship thru the marriage and the feeling is mutual you should.
I think every situation is different. Also depends on their relationship and how much time the marriage lasted.
Married my ex when his daughter was 5 divorced 13 yrs later She’s 36 now and we still talk She never called me Mom but she lived with us so I raised her as one of my kids
I’d think that depends on age of kids etc. How do they feel about you & so forth. Is dad ok with it etc. Me & my ex split & I still take his nieces n nephews etc. I guess each situation is different tho.
Oh geez that’s a hard one. It depends on how your relationship is with the father/family. When I left I told my step daughter I’ll always love her but I wont see her anymore until she is older.
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Go to therapy and figure out why so many failed relationships. Send children to Kids In The Middle .
Ask the kids.
I had a relationship with my step dad after my parents divorced.
If their young and you have been a big part of their life stay, teenagers let them make their decision
My stepdaughter still calls me mom. She just had a baby so I became grandma. I think it depends on your relationship with them.
You didn’t divorce the kids so answer is easy
If I were to get divorced I would never leave my stepsons life. I love him and my love for him will not end if my marriage does. I am good friends with my husbands ex wife. We all take vacations together. I love all of her kids including the ones that aren’t my husbands. Noting would ever change that.
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You divorced him…not the kids…stay in touch with them
I think it depends on many different things…how long you were in a relationship…the age of the children and your relationship with their mother (if in the picture) …
Depends on how long you were in their lives they may want you around
I would if the parents allow it or the child wants to
If you had a good relationship with them I do not see why you should not you devorced the husband not them
I have a saying “ you divorce the man ; not the children”.
I keep in touch with both of my step daughters…they call me mom and their kids are no different than any mine have. I divorced their dads, not them
If you loved the kids why would you not ever see them, unless its their choice ,don’t take crap you feel for dad out on tbe kids. Thars not fair
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Of course if there’s love and civility. If the ex is mean, tell the kids you’ll always be there for them and they’ll find a way when they can. It’s always about the kids and what’s best for them.
If the children are teenagers, you let them decide. If the children are underage - you let the custodial parents make that decision.
I cant tell you what to do but i feel like that depends on the way the felt tpwards you, if they want you to be in their lives
I want to say yes, if the children want it.
If you were close then why not they are just as much as a fam as your own
We were a family for years, those connections didnt just dissolve when we split up. My stepdaughter chose to live with me and my son and their little sister and ALL the kids spent every other weekend with the girls dad. It really depends on the family and the connections.
It depends on their age and your relationship with them
Not divorced, but my daughters father is a POS AND i hate him more than I hate anyone in this world, but his ex girlfriend is very much still in my daughters life. She is amazing and Im so thankful for the years she spent raising my daughter. She was always cared for so well when they were together and she had to go for her weekends with her dad. Now, when she goes, shes neglected and not taken care of. He tried to lie about her in court and filed charges against her under false pretenses because she broke up with him and I showed up on her behalf and the judge sided with both her and I. So id say if those kids still want to be in your life, they should be able to. Point blank. My current boyfriend of 5 years has been a father to my daughter since day 1, and if we ever broke up, I would still want him in her life.
If you qant to and were there for a while id say yes
I guess it depends on why you’re getting the divorce, how long you been in their lives, and your relationship with the children. My step dad and my mom never got married but hes been a role model for me and helped raise me since elementary school and i graduated high school in 2011. They had broken up and he thought that he would have nothing to do with my brothers and i. I had to tell him i dont care whats goin on with you and my mother but thats got nothing to do with me your my second father and i need you. But if you havent grown a relationship with the kids to where you have a bond then i mean thats on you. Their mother/father would also have to be okay with it depending on how old they are.
My ex step dad was in my life from 18 months old until I was 10. When they divorced he saw me a handful of times and then abandoned me. It really affected me because he was “dad” to me since my biological dad was abusive and not in my life. I ended up bitter and really angry/sad/upset.
It depends on the children and your relationship I would guess.
If you want to stay involved with them let them know you’re there for them if they need you and you’d love to see them even when they don’t (need you). Let them know that you don’t have to be with their dad to care about or love them.
If you loved them as your own, absolutely.
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You divorce spouses, NOT family. That’s what my step-dad’s family said.
Definitely stay in their lives.
It depends on relationship and how close and old they are
I would stay as involved as I could
Depends on the bond you have with your bonus children.
You divorce a spouse not the kids.
Yes you should - the more love kids can get in this world the better 
My ex-husband has three boys from a previous marriage. He pretty much severed any relationship I had with the boys before the separation took place. It’s hard to just separate yourself especially if you have been actively involved in their lives for years. I think it depends on what you and your spouse decides to do and what kind of communication you can have with them.
Stayed in my step kids lives
Yes be there for the kids !!
When my husband and I got married, he had 5 from his previous marriages (but was only in contact with his oldest daughter) and I had 2 sons - all 3 are in their 20s. When he decided to leave 2.5 years ago he stopped talking not only to my sons (which in particular hurt my 24 yo because he considered him his father) but also to his daughter because she was on my side - even though I asked her not to choose sides. Since then I’ve adopted her just as we had originally planned. His entire family stopped talking to her because we went through with the adoption. No one has heard from him since he walked out the door. I promise her from the day we met that I would never abandon her (her bio mom did when she was 7) and I’ll keep that promise forever. I’m all that she has left for a parent. Breaks my heart every day 
Let the child lead the choice
Only if you have a bond with them
I am friends w my bonus kids moms 
I stay in the life of a ex bf son 
I helped raise my ex husbands firstborn and I still consider him my son and always will. He is involved in all felony activities and visits me every other weekend. That is my son. My boyfriend accepts this as well. My ex husbands girlfriend is also accepting and really doesnt have a choice because I refused to be kicked out of his life. His egg donor isn’t involved and hasn’t been in years and years.
My boyfriend was married before me. His ex wife had 3 children before him and 1 with him. After they divorced he still kept in very close contact with her (ex’s) 3 children. However, once he officially moved on and we started dating, he ended up distancing himself from those 3 kids because they caused an immense amount of problems in our (mine and his) life. He does still talk to them once in a while because they are still his daughters sisters, but they are not close at all anymore due to their own actions. (The other 3 children are adults now).
Thats all on u the kids and the bio parents
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After my dad and his ex wife split she still was a big part of my life. Even at 24 now I can still message and go see her when I’m in the area.
She did help raise me and just bc the relationship with them didn’t work didn’t mean we didn’t have a bond.
My ex step daughter is now my god daughter. She is my daughters half sister and the mother and I understood the need for them to be in each others lives. We divorced when she was 3. She’s now 12 and they have an inseparable bond
It’s been over 20 years and I love my step son more than I did when we were together. In fact I divorced him not his family! I still go to family functions! They were a part of my life before I met him.
When my ex husband and I separated, he dropped my older two like they didn’t even matter. He helped raise them as if they were his own for 5 years and they even called him dad. When he left, it completely crushed my kids. They were so confused and so very heartbroken. He won’t even look their way now, when I drop off our 4 year old, and it’s been almost two years.
I would suggest staying in their lives if you can. If you love them and they love you, definitely make it work somehow.
My former stepdad was only with my mom for 7 years, but it was during an important time of my life, from 9 yrs old to 16 yrs old. He was closer to a real dad than my biological father. I’m 40 now, he’s still in my life, and my kids call him grandpa. They know he’s not biologically related to them, but they love him and he loves them just as much as any biological grandchild.
It usually depends on the situation, as they’re all different. I’d say definitely let them know you still care no matter what. Keep that door open, and discuss with the dad as well, when possible.
You divorce the parent, not the children. Regardless if the child is biologically yours or not
My x husband and I split and we have a daughter together,but my oldest two are mine and he has been their for them since they were 2&4 years old. Now they are 26&24 and he is still their for them…no matter what!
In fact on my oldest daughter wedding two years ago she asked her step dad to walk her down the isle vs having her biological dad.
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If thats what they want then yes. If they dont, move on. In this case it should be up to the kids not the parents.
My parents divorced when I was 5, and both remarried. My dad married my stepmom when I was 6, and they were married for 16 years. Luckily I had a very close relationship (as did my mom, and my dad’s family) with her, and she is/was my children’s grandmother. Unfortunately she passed away last year, and I mourn her loss. Stay close if you can. 
I’ve had 3 children ripped away from me because they weren’t mine. When the oldest one turned 18 4 years ago, she came looking for me, she found me and now I have contact with all 3 kids (now 16, 18, and 22) and their mother! Lol! If you can keep a relationship with the kids, DO IT! If you can’t, wait for them, they will come find you. Kids never forget who was there for them!
I distanced myself from my step kids after we divorced it was a hard decision to make but it benefited my own children while they grew up after my kids grew to be teenagers I told them there step siblings names so they themselves could gain a possible relationship with there 1/2 siblings. My ex husband was abusive so the less he knew about me and our children the better off we all were. Not sure about your current situation but I know for me not having drama was for the best.