Haven’t been through this and hope to never. But I have told my husband if we were to ever separate, he could see my kids just as much as he would see our daughter because he’s raised them since they were 8 and 9. Their dad lives 20 hours away and he’s basically the full time father figure. My kids are also old enough to decide whether they want to continue a relationship so I would say it depends on the situation and ages of the kids.
My cousin still loves and even spends time with her ex’s children. My aunt and uncle still call them their grandkids and include them. If you love those kids, don’t cut them out simply because you and their dad are no longer together.
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I do. I have a better relationship with his kids then he does. I think it’s important for my daughter to be in contact with her siblings.
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Every kid needs love… There’s never too much. Just communicate.
In my life I was with a man 9 years. He was there raising them with me. I have three kids, one of them is his biological child. But, they all call him dad. My oldest is 12. Middle is 9. So… It really depends. They all see him as much as his biological child. And, all still call him dad. 
I say the ones that stayed around are great ! My mom n my step dad ain’t together … but I don’t think of my step dad any less then my real dad. In my eyes he’s my only dad n he’s always been there for me n my family … my kids are his only grand kids n I love him so much always helps me when I need it 
love my step dad with all my heart
My mom and my step dad divorced when I was a teen, having been married almost 15 years. My step siblings were all around my age, and for the most part we’ve stayed close, and they still call my mother on birthdays and Mother’s Day and tell her they love her, which she treasures because of how much she loves them all. It’s really all dependent on the circumstance, age of the kids, and how long you were a part of their lives.
It depends on the age of the child. I had two stepchildren from separate moms. One mom made my life miserable. The other I called my step wifey. I communicate mostly thru FB. He passed away 10 years ago. I’m 1500 miles away. Both are grown.
I’m actually closer to my ex’s daughter than he is. I left it up to her (she was 12). Her mom was okay with her remaining close to me also. I feel like every situation is different in this case and it should be left up to the child and custodial parent. Whatever is best for the child, it’s hard enough being a kid without removing important influential parents (bio, adoptive, foster, or step).
We were a Brady bunch type for a few years. My mom had us 2 and Steve my step dad at the time also had 2 kids.
After 7 years our parents split.
Sis and I still communicate with the oldest. The other one is a lost cause.
Hello! I have an ex step dad I still keep in touch with. My moms is a bit crazy and filled mine and my siblings head with things he wasn’t doing, so we stayed away for a while but he’s always been there for us and always does kind things when we need something as well. I say talk it over and make sure the situation isn’t too uncomfortable, maybe just give it some time
I gave my ex’s son the room he needed to figure things out. Yet I always made sure I would always love him. They was 20 years ago. We are still close
I haven’t been in this situation, but my friend was. The kids were old enough to say they wanted to see her, bio mom was ok with it, I don’t know how dad felt honestly. But my friend has continued to have a good relationship with the kids as another adult who loves them and helps support them mentally. My friend has her own child and a new husband now, but still loves and cares for the other kids, they are young adults.
I still visit with my previous step-dad when I go out to the east coast. We usually have dinner and catch up. He and my mom divorced 20 years ago, but he was in my life for 10 so I feel it’s important to keep in contact.
My dad and step mom divorced over 20 years ago (I am now 46) and she was a part of my life since I was about 4…we are extremely close, she’s my second mom… and I actually don’t speak to my dad often at all. I am grateful for her every single day!
Depends if your bonded ur probably healthy for them … you really have to do what’s best for you while keeping the children in mind an do what’s best for them. If you 
them you’ll figure it out
My parents were married for 16 years before they split. I gained 2 step sisters when they got married, they’re still my sisters and my mom still calls them her daughters 
My ex’s 1st wife wouldn’t allow it which was really hard on me, my daughter and my step daughter who I loved like my own. She was 10 when we split up. Years later she reached out to me on FB. We are thrilled to have her back in our lives. They are each other’s only sibling. They’re 14 and 21 now.
I’ve been a part of my ex-spouses children’s life, even after the divorce. They’re half-siblings to my youngest. They still call me mom. They’re adults now but we still talk. When they were younger, I would pick them up for long weekends and a couple weeks during the summer, even after the divorce. I’ve known their mom since we were 12 years old. Their dad and I don’t speak and he hasn’t seen my son by him, since he was 3 years old, but that’s on him. So if you want to be a part of their lives, that is something I would discuss with their mom and dad and them.
Married for 8 official years, after we split i es still mom. His daughter is closer with me. I get along with her bio mama and we do holidays and stuff together. She’s my baby girl no matter what. We had one child together and he raised my son, and they are all siblings in each other’s eyes. I’m a meemaw of 4 because of my bonus daughter…
Family is who you choose to be with.
But it helps if it’s all about the kiddos first and we do our best adulting…
I still get along with my ex…
I have stayed in contact with both my step daughters after my divorce. They were upset when we got divorced so it took about a year but I talk to them often and send them money on their bdays. I am not hands on because I live a few hours away but I love them as if they are my own
I did depends on your relationship depending on age but should be what’s best for children
When my ex and I split and he didn’t still my daughter but took our child for the weekend, she was extremely hurt. Even now she’s hesitant to get close to anyone.
I tried so hard to maintain with my previous step daughter, but it was just too hard. Too many different schedules. She had her own issues with her dad. I stay in touch through my kids (her brothers). It broke my heart, but it’s just what happened.
Depends on the relationship with your stepkids. Im really close to my stepmom. She’s pretty much my mom. We will definitely keep in touch if they were to split
As a stepmother, I would never abandon my stepdaughter if things didn’t work out with her father. I’d obviously be confined to whatever limitations her parents put in place but I would be as present as I was allowed to be. And my oldest daughter has a stepmom and if she divorced my ex, I would not deny her the right to still be in my daughter’s life if my daughter wanted her to be and she wanted to be. Doesn’t matter what is happening between the adults, as long as the kids are always priority 1 and loved and respected.
I got a divorce and did not think it was a good idea to keep in touch with the kids. Its just akward specially when you meet someone else or they meet some one else. Yes my two boys who are 8 and 13 sometimes ask oh i wonder how jordan is which is my ex step son. I just say to them well im not sure because i dont talk to them.
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Absolutely…my dad’s ex stayed in ours and she is a pivotal reason for my life decisions.
Depends on how you were treated by them. My step children were horrible to me. I was always nice to them
My sister was never married, but she sees her ex boyfriend’s kids more than he does! She takes them shopping, picks them up from school, takes them over night. Both birth mom’s love her!
I first met my step daughter when she was almost 4… her dad and I divorced when she was 14… we had become close and decided to stay in each others life… especially because her dad and I had a child together… so she wanted to keep a relationship with me and her brother. Her mother and i had gotten along well and worked out visitation. My step daughter is now 24 and married with her own child and we still are very close. .
I have had 2 grandfather’s growing up. After my grandma’s divorce the man who I know as Grandfather- Papa Jim- dropped out of my life. I did look for him for my wedding and was upset that I couldnt find him. I would have loved for him to stay in my life and meet my kids…
I am still involved. My ex’s oldest and I are best friends. I think it depends on what you and they want. If they are very young I’d probably step back. But if the desire is mutual why not.
I never really knew my dad. He has 4 other kids by 2 different women. My younger siblings mom still always invites be to my siblings birthdays and little get togethers when they are in town. I actually talk to her more than my dad talks to me. The situation is a little different but the children will definitely appreciate it
I married my husband when his son was 4. We were married 20 yrs and had 2 more kids. I never treated him any different than the other 2, I just had 3 kids. When we split up, the kids were still my kids and, more importantly, siblings. They will forever be in each other’s lives, and mine❤️
I stayed in touch with the children thru their mom (dad is a POS and walked out of all the kids lives). The other Kom and I are great friends. Anyway you put it the kids are brothers/sisters. And deserve to know each other.
I moved 900 miles to be with my step daughters after their dad and I divorced!!! I have been in their lives since they were babies!!!
My mom and step dad divorced when I was around 13. My youngest brother was around 5 and his biological son. My step dad let me live with him so I didn’t have to switch schools etc. He is still very much in our lives 11 years later. Maybe more so than my actual parents. I personally would be there for them if they want.
My mom started dating a guy when I was 1 and she was with him til I was 10 never married and I’m now 34 and I’m still close with him he’s my step dad! We talk every weekend!
I have two step sons who are grown and my husband and I have a son together. If we ever were to divorce I would still keep in contact with the boys. I have raised them. I was the only mother figure they had from ages 10 and 11. I also have a granddaughter from the oldest. There is no way I would cut ties with them just because of their dad. I love them like my own. But every situation is different. I could see if you had not been together long or you weren’t a part of their life.
My stepfathers we’re in my life for a long time and when my mom divorced them
Both just left me too. It hurt me. How can you claim to love someone then just walk away? So please talk to the children and ask.
With my first husband, his son lived in Florida with his mon while we lived in PA. We rarely saw him. We did have him the summer that my son, his half-brother, was born, but that was the last I saw of him. He is now married and has a son of his own. My son is happy to be a 14 year old uncle.
I had no relationship with my step kids after my divorce. Was married almost 9 years.
My dad was married 5 times. Once to my mom. Another lady younger then him. No.idea where she is. My stepmom Vona whom I love and care about. And is still part of my life. He married a lady who passed away. And his last wife we send Christmas cards every year. I think if you love them then yes or they have been a big part of your life. Yes.
Not the kids fault, so don’t blame them, chances are your important to them. Love them no matter what
I still have a relationship with my stepdad and my mom divorced him well over 30 years ago. My husband and I are split up and he has a relationship with my 4 boys from my first marriage.
I was in my stepdaughter’s life from the time she was 3, divorced her dad when she was 16. We maintain contact multiple times per weeks, i am Gammy to her new baby, they come to my house as often as they want, she is still my daughter and my door is always open for her. She talks to me more than she does her dad. I am on vacation currently and she was at my house yesterday swimming. We are very much involved. I told her, I am divorcing your dad, not you. And I maintain that, she knows she can call me at any time of any day with any needs and I am there for her. She is my daughter.
Ive dealt with my stepmom divorcing my dad, ive never been married.
I was 10 when they got married and 23 when they got divorced. She completely ghosted me and my son. Havent spoke with her in a year and a half. Its so heart breaking. If you have a relationship with the kids, please stay in their lives. Im old enough to understand, but it doesnt make the pain go away.
Coming from the kid perspective… I think if they want a relationship with you then yes 100%. Because keeping that relationship with my step dad after my mom and him divorced meant everything to me.
I stayed in my stepchildrens lives was not their fault there all grown and have kids of their own just made my family bigger!
My husbands mother divorced his stepdad when my husband was 12… His stepdad has not missed a birthday party for any of our five kids… We go to his house every Christmas
My kids still talk with my exes and their kids still talk with me. We know its not the kids fault and they had nothing to do with it.
I never saw or talked to my dad’s wife after they separated. My sisters still talk to her and her sons from time to time but I wasn’t interested. I think it depends on the children if they want to continue the relationship or not.
I am in the middle of a divorce now and I still see my step kids and talk to them regularly and my ex still talks to my kids from a previous relationship
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Depends. I’d say yes,it’s the kids that want that closeness still.,but if their older and don’t…it’s their choice .
It’s a depending on situation ,I’d say .
And if ur still friends, with ex, then it helps .
I’m still involved in my step kids life! Of course, they were older and able to decide on their own … And they know I love them as much as my own children … I imagine that if someone wasn’t very close to their stepchildren then there wouldn’t really be a point in staying in their lives
Or it’s similar if your parent dies and they were married to your stepmom. Do you still keep in touch with them the stepmom. I guess it depends on the age of the stepkid and the relationship quality Im place with the stepparent. If there’s no relationship, you may never see that former stepmom again.
Depends on what role and how long you were in their lives.
Why wouldn’t you still be in the kids lives as much as comfortably possible
Nothing should alter in your heart for the kids because of divorce
If you are close to the children and have a good relationship with them, then I’d say Yes, as long as it was ok with their mom.
I would think it depends on your relationship with the kids prior to divorce.
When I met my exhusband he had a 7 month old daughter i helped raise her. We divorced after she turned 15. Me n his daughter r still close even after we divorced n when he passed away we still talk to each other.
If you have a relationship with them, of course you should they wear your bonus children. If you did not have a relationship, I guess that would be between you and the children. I most certainly would, they were my kids also.
I divorced the man not the children, my children he had before the marriage and my children I had before the marriage still live as siblings
If my husband and I divorced you’d have to pray my step daughter apart. Nothing and no one would break our bond!
If you have a good relationship with them and you are the parent of their siblings why wouldn’t you continue the relationship? The kids are not the ones getting a divorce parents are.
I think this is common sense if you love those kids and they are family than duh keep it together family its number one
I’m 20 + years divorced and still see my ex’s side of the family several times a year. The kids all refer to me as “aunt”, etc. and I am invited to every family event…wedding, showers, baptisms, graduations…I love it and I could stay and have stayed with my ex-in laws also…they love it when I visit! I’m sure it’s not for everyone’s family but it is for me!!
Simply are you divorcing their dad or their dad and them. I see my bonus kids often. I raised them 6.5 yrs. They were my babies and still are
When we seperated he still wanted me around the kids and the kids still come to my house and the mom is ok with that we all spent mothers and fathers day together
If you had a good relationship thru the marriage and the feeling is mutual you should.
I think every situation is different. Also depends on their relationship and how much time the marriage lasted.
Married my ex when his daughter was 5 divorced 13 yrs later She’s 36 now and we still talk She never called me Mom but she lived with us so I raised her as one of my kids
I’d think that depends on age of kids etc. How do they feel about you & so forth. Is dad ok with it etc. Me & my ex split & I still take his nieces n nephews etc. I guess each situation is different tho.
Oh geez that’s a hard one. It depends on how your relationship is with the father/family. When I left I told my step daughter I’ll always love her but I wont see her anymore until she is older.
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Go to therapy and figure out why so many failed relationships. Send children to Kids In The Middle .
Ask the kids.
I had a relationship with my step dad after my parents divorced.
If their young and you have been a big part of their life stay, teenagers let them make their decision
My stepdaughter still calls me mom. She just had a baby so I became grandma. I think it depends on your relationship with them.
You didn’t divorce the kids so answer is easy
If I were to get divorced I would never leave my stepsons life. I love him and my love for him will not end if my marriage does. I am good friends with my husbands ex wife. We all take vacations together. I love all of her kids including the ones that aren’t my husbands. Noting would ever change that.
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You divorced him…not the kids…stay in touch with them
I think it depends on many different things…how long you were in a relationship…the age of the children and your relationship with their mother (if in the picture) …
Depends on how long you were in their lives they may want you around
I would if the parents allow it or the child wants to
If you had a good relationship with them I do not see why you should not you devorced the husband not them
I have a saying “ you divorce the man ; not the children”.
I keep in touch with both of my step daughters…they call me mom and their kids are no different than any mine have. I divorced their dads, not them
If you loved the kids why would you not ever see them, unless its their choice ,don’t take crap you feel for dad out on tbe kids. Thars not fair
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Of course if there’s love and civility. If the ex is mean, tell the kids you’ll always be there for them and they’ll find a way when they can. It’s always about the kids and what’s best for them.
If the children are teenagers, you let them decide. If the children are underage - you let the custodial parents make that decision.
I cant tell you what to do but i feel like that depends on the way the felt tpwards you, if they want you to be in their lives
I want to say yes, if the children want it.
If you were close then why not they are just as much as a fam as your own
We were a family for years, those connections didnt just dissolve when we split up. My stepdaughter chose to live with me and my son and their little sister and ALL the kids spent every other weekend with the girls dad. It really depends on the family and the connections.
It depends on their age and your relationship with them
Not divorced, but my daughters father is a POS AND i hate him more than I hate anyone in this world, but his ex girlfriend is very much still in my daughters life. She is amazing and Im so thankful for the years she spent raising my daughter. She was always cared for so well when they were together and she had to go for her weekends with her dad. Now, when she goes, shes neglected and not taken care of. He tried to lie about her in court and filed charges against her under false pretenses because she broke up with him and I showed up on her behalf and the judge sided with both her and I. So id say if those kids still want to be in your life, they should be able to. Point blank. My current boyfriend of 5 years has been a father to my daughter since day 1, and if we ever broke up, I would still want him in her life.
If you qant to and were there for a while id say yes
I guess it depends on why you’re getting the divorce, how long you been in their lives, and your relationship with the children. My step dad and my mom never got married but hes been a role model for me and helped raise me since elementary school and i graduated high school in 2011. They had broken up and he thought that he would have nothing to do with my brothers and i. I had to tell him i dont care whats goin on with you and my mother but thats got nothing to do with me your my second father and i need you. But if you havent grown a relationship with the kids to where you have a bond then i mean thats on you. Their mother/father would also have to be okay with it depending on how old they are.
My ex step dad was in my life from 18 months old until I was 10. When they divorced he saw me a handful of times and then abandoned me. It really affected me because he was “dad” to me since my biological dad was abusive and not in my life. I ended up bitter and really angry/sad/upset.
It depends on the children and your relationship I would guess.