You are over reacting. Don’t do that to your child and the grandparents. Just stop.
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A 4 year old is old enough to understand the word no or stop touching. He continued to do it maybe because there was no consequence. Good for grandpa. Todays generation thinks they can reason with children. Newsflash: no discipline is what’s wrong with todays children.
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This feels like a very cruel, egotistical thing to even consider.
I guarantee the amount your child benefits from having their grandparents around will outweigh any slight disagreements. Grandparents are a gift, old trees with wisdom that connects us to our roots. Don’t take them for granted! I’m sure someone wishes they had your Grandpa in their own family.
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I don’t hit my child, but a tap is nothing.
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I completely get what your saying, it’s why it’s best you and only you watch your kid then. If your that uncomfortable then you should keep your child in only a space you regulate 24/7
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At least they were honest an apologized even and explained it was a reaction. They are from a completely different Era. Just like your child, they’re learning the new norm too. You really don’t have a reason to be so upset. If it were to continue happening, fine. Understandable. But they obviously feel very sad about it if they said all this, so I’d give grace and tell them accidents happen and just as long as they’re learned from that it isn’t a huge deal.
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Smacking a child on the hand isn’t bad. All children need discipline. That’s what’s wrong with children these days. You don’t have to beat your child, but discipline is a part of good parenting. I believe that kids now days know that if they scream child abuse that they will get away with everything. You’re over reacting. He’s fine.
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Some parents are such jokes!
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We are also a no hitting household.
That said, I would be lying if I said I haven’t had this reaction out if frustration before. It’s 100% due to how I was raised and breaking those bad habits is hard.
I think the fact that he apologized should be the end of it. If it happens again, then take more drastic measures.
Edit to add: as long as he apologized TO THE CHILD. Not to you.
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Y’all can have your opinions but it’s a violent way of discipline no matter what you say. We really need to not discipline with violence that comes from anger because that’s how your kids learn to react when they’re mad.
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In my opinion, that was overreacting, A tap on the hand was just that, a tap. If that really bothered you, perhaps speaking with the adults about what you would have done to ensure the disobedient child stopped their bad behaviours might help the relationship.
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You’re over reacting.
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Stop overreacting. There is nothing wrong with what he did. Spankings and taps on the hands do not hurt a child. More kids need this today.
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Wow!! What did I just read??? 
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I’m just more amazed you posted this nonsense … did you even read what you wrote ??? 
your definitely over reacting…wow
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Wow are you serious?? You are acting ridiculous. If he was told to stop and didn’t listen he needs his hand slapped not tapped.
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This has to be a joke:thinking:
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Give me a break. Talk about a nightmare mom. You are being not just over reactive you are being psycho. Way to be controlling and cruel. He tapped your kid. When your 4 year old starts throwing mega tantrums and walking all over you due to the lack of consequences I hope you think back to this stupidity you just opened up to on the open web. He didn’t beat him or smack him. He tapped him on the hand. Just wow. I hope this is a joke.
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A lot of parents who are strictly against any type of hitting are usually those who grew up with traditional spankings. If that was yours or your parents childhood, it could have just been your granpas “parenting reflex” or whatever which would justify why there wasn’t much thought before tapping him. He apologized and said he wouldn’t do it again, I say give him another chance but I understand parents can be real strict about these kind of things and take it personal when that boundary gets crossed. He didn’t beat your kid so I mean there’s a plus right 
did he leave marks? Idk to each their own
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You are totally over reacting. I’m sure the tap on your child’s hand did not hurt him. That is just a way of teaching the child what no means. Let it’s grandparents love this child and let the child love grandparents. That relationship is so important in a child’s life.
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I’m that Grandma that has also reacted by tapping my granddaughter’s hand when she kicked or hit her PaPa. And her parents don’t believe in hitting also. I know it, but I still just reacted. She’s 5 now and should know better. I figure if they don’t like it I guess I won’t babysit any more. It’s that simple…
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Uncomfortable allowing a child around his grandparents because they had a temporary lapse in judgement and tapped their grandchild in an attempt to correct them from doing something they had already been told not to do. If your grandparents were seriously a bad influence with bad intentions, they would not have been honest about what happened and trusted you to have the good judgement to forgive them and move on. You should all sit down with the child, explain that you believe the child’s actions were just as wrong as the corrective measures that were taken, and if you all can agree that it they will abide by your disciplinary guidelines from now on, there’s no reason why you can’t all forgive and move forward. Everyone makes mistakes, including the elderly. Can you honestly live with alienating your child from their grandparents and vice versa? That is a big decision with serious consequences in itself.
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I’m not sure overreacting is the right word. You obviously know grandpa tapped him and didn’t hit him… ask yourself why you are now so uncomfortable. Is it because you believe gpa is going to hurt your child (mentally or physically)? If that’s the case, always keep your baby safe! Is it because they did not obey your wishes? Is it because you no longer feel in control? Find the true reason as to why you’re uncomfortable and then you’ll be able to make a better decision. And either way, def explain to gpa how you would like situations like this handled… not everyone knows how to not tap a hand. I def smacked a hand or two. Sorry this is bothering you so much. You’ll figure out what right for you and your family! 
Sounds like Mom didn’t get enough taps on the hand. Good Lord!
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I DO NOT BELIEVE IN HITTING! I don’t blame you for being upset. Your child. Your rules. A 4 year old can be spoken to. They understand stand at that age.
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You’re overreacting…
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You turned out fine (?)
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I had a incident like this where my uncle was visiting my house and slapped my child on the back right in front of social services …and left a mark …I told him to leave ,and proper roared at him that if he is in my house or anywhere he would ever raise a hand to my child ever again … this was about 3 years ago we still see the uncle and lucky he never layed another hand on my child …xx but it’s your chose…
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Spare the rod and spoil the child, I think this is too out of context, your child did not get beatings, a little tap to say don’t do that should not bring you here to ask strangers what to do about it, I’m sure your parents gave you your little slap if you needed it!
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Lmao what tf did I just read 
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You’re lucky you have someone to watch your kids! If they’re not beaten or abused… they’re fine
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My red flag is the part where the Grandpa said, “it was just a reaction and he didn’t think about it before he hit”. That doesn’t sit right with me. That bothers me because he is admitting to having no self control or restraint. So, what would stop him from doing it again? Hitting should not be an impulsive reaction unless you’re doing it to save your child from injury such as reaching for a hot stove or bolting in front of traffic, etc. We all have restraint and choices. The fact that hitting just comes of no second thought or judgement call for him would concern me. I also don’t think touching plants warrants any forceful punishment, screaming included. There has to be realistic behavior expectations of a 4 year old. And agreed with other responses that said no one should ever lay a hand on your child.
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And ur child gonna be one of them teens at marathon shooting the pop with BB guns (happening now in my city)
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Get over it. A tap on the hand. Maybe your child needs more of that cause talking to the child sure isn’t getting it across not to touch the plant. You are raise one if this entitled children.
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Just let it go he apologized,
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Bahahahaha! Yes, you are over reacting!
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Your definitely over reacting.
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I can’t believe the amount of people who thinks hitting a child is okay😏
There are many more effective ways to discipline a child than to hit them.
As an Early childhood educator with over 30 years in the field can find ways to discipline children in my care without hitting them so can others.
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Are you serious!?! Shoot I would tap there hand away too only way to learn what not to touch! Never take the grandparents away! Your kids don’t even have much time left with them
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Lol you’re really overreacting.
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It was a tap he fine got to learn
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Being upset over it is understandable. Stopping visits over a one time “tap” on the hand is a bit of an overreaction. If it was repeated bad behavior and the usual ways of correcting it weren’t working, it was a last resort. But did it work? He felt bad and apologized. Talk to them and come up with other corrections. Don’t stop visits. He’s going to miss them when they’re gone.
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Think you knew the answer before you even posted this. Christ my grandparents were harsh when we were kids and our generation is fine. Kids need to know right and wrong.
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“Tapped” your child on the hand and you are uncomfortable now? Lol I would be happy to not watch your child again.
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Big difference between discipline and abuse
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I don’t agree with spanking/tapping/hitting of any kind myself, HOWEVER, a 4 year old is definitely capable of listening and understanding when they’re being told not to do something, and continuously doing it, did need some form of consequence - although, sure, preferably not that one, but he has already admitted to it having been a knee-jerk reaction, AND apologized for going against your preferred method of discipline, and it WAS only a light tap on his hand. Taking the child from his grandparents, over this one incident, seems way excessive and controlling and cruel to both the child and the grandparents, whom I am sure love him very much and meant him no harm. Things were done differently in the past and sometimes it’s hard for them to remember that 24/7 while learning to change their responses to things. Your son doesn’t have any permanent psychological damage and I’m sure he would hate to be kept from people that he’s used to being around and that love him/he loves. If it were a repeated thing, that’d be different, but one time? Forgive and let it go.
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It takes a lot to unlearn things. Take it from someone who is trying to unlearn the toxicity of my childhood.
I’m in no way excusing what happened and not invalidating your feelings because I get it. I’m also a no physical discipline parent.
Can you all sit down and have a conversation about the detrimental effects of physical discipline no matter how small the act may seem? Maybe you all can look at a way to control his reactions and offer ways to redirect and what you would do in this situation. Grandpa apologized and took accountability. It seems likely to me that they would be willing to sitting down and having a conversation with you about it.
I’m so sorry you are receiving such negative feedback from others about your choice to not use psychical discipline
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You know years ago when we did things wrong we got a butt spanking or pop in the mouth,hand slapped for touching things kids need to learn and be disciplined for the things they do but no instead now they get off scott free and they think oh I can do whatever and not have to listen. I hate saying it and forgive me but maybe if we disciplined our kids like it was back in the day and I’m not saying beat them but a spank now and then we might not have so many school shootings so much hate or out of control kids. So don’t punish your grandparents it was just a hand slap not a beating kids have to learn and it needs to start somewhere
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This post surely can’t be for real??
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You are not overreacting, hitting or “spanking” is not okay with us either ESPECIALLY by someone other than the parents. I would make it known that if it happens again you will not be able to continue to let them visit, if that is something you are serious about. Setting boundaries is okay, the older generations HATE this lol. 
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Way way way overreacted …a tapmis not gonna hurt and will probably do the child good
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A tap on the hand for not listening after multiple warnings AND you got an apology.
Pick your battles and be grateful they are willing to babysit for you.
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Grow up,you’re over reacting and raising a child to feel entitled to not follow rules. You should be thanking your grandparents !
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I don’t think people should be laughing at this… your feelings and questions are very important! I understand you are non hit household and even if you were I don’t believe that’s anyone else’s business to do besides yours! BUT… a tap on the hand is the least of my worries honestly if my child is repeatedly not listening to what is being said… and especially older people grew up with this… so maybe that’s why it happened but honestly it probably hurt the child’s feelings more than it hurt and sometimes you have to show tough love. So I lay my case at you stated your law… they apologized they didn’t whoop his butt… but if it happens again I’d make a bigger deal about it! But as mad as you are at your grandpa you also need to have a talk with your son that we listen to grownups etc because it wouldn’t have happened if he would’ve just listened. Good luck mama
He tapped him 
. He definitely didn’t beat him lady.
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Smacking doesn’t work and it’s wrong…… I’d speak to them and remind them if it happens again then he won’t be coming back
He said it was just a reaction, maybe you could tell him how you discipline and see if they could get on board with that.
Some plants are poisonous so after telling no repeatedly…
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You’re over reacting a tap isn’t harming him and its letting him know that No you can not touch that, he didn’t spank him or beat him:woman_facepalming:t2: he tapped his hand 
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Implement a different and higher of level of discipline that you will follow and that you can be comfortable with others following. The grandparents needed more , since what what in place wasn’t working. Give them the tools to use and I am sure they will use them. Not taking the kids over there is too severe a punishment for everyone involved. You were given an apology and as adults you can work it out before going to the extreme of not taking the kids to see them or leaving them there.
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That poor child. My God this generation is being raised to be woosies. A tap ? Lol
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Thank goodness I’m not your grandparent. Have a heart
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Different generation. This is normal discipline for them. But they’ve apologised and by your account are upset over it, so perhaps you can sit down with them both and explain what you would like discipline to be instead, what your expectations and boundaries are and how you may work together on any issues that come up. Give them a chance to learn different ways of doing things that you can feel comfortable with and tackle any behaviours that they’re having trouble with together.
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Wow I used to get hit with a meter stick 
. He repeated him self how many times? I tap on the hand . this right here is why our world is so soft now. Gtfoh
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You’ve never had a reflex reaction? If it truly was a tap and he didn’t physically hurt your child it does seem like an over reaction. He apologized and acknowledged his wrong doing by going against your wishes. Kids deserve to know their grandparents. Don’t take that bond away from them over something so small.
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You’re being a bit ridiculous, and yes, strongly overreacting. Now you know for a fact grandpa meant no harm, or you wouldn’t have trusted him with your child to begin with. he’s your grandpa, honestly, was he a danger to you all your life? Absolutely shameful you’re even considering taking away a precious relationship. It’s vindictive, and harmful to not only them but your child. You even said he apologized. Breaks my heart that you would even consider breaking their heart over such a non issue. Because if it were really an issue, your child wouldn’t be spending time with them to begin with. You trust them obviously, so why make mountains out of mole hills. Yes I get their are ways to get a 4 year old to listen, but clearly if he reacted and tapped his hand, the other methods weren’t working. It is completely harmless, and gets their attention.
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Could you imagine if they got tired of telling him no and decided to not let him come over until he can listen and respect their things
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He tapped his hand…he didn’t beat him lol…
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Really!!!
Give them a break. He said sorry
They are HIS grandparents and won’t be there forever
So get them as much time as possible
You need to relax and let your son be disciplined and give suggestions on how you would handle it
Time out?
Firm words
Toy taken away
Something immediate to his action of not listening
And really
A tap on the hand for touching things after being told not to
Trivial
Big picture
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I think kids need to be spanked …that’s why there’s so many disrespectful little @$$holes these days, no discipline
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Girl get over yourself😂
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Wow. He tapped him? Smh. This is why kids are so entitled these days. I said what I said.
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Huge overreaction. Communicate, educate and work with them. They clearly want to.
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It’s ur grandpa. If he’s never done nothing hurtful to u . Has he???
Oh lord you probably need too get yourself help.
Apologize too your grandparents for acting a fool also
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Some people I swear!!!
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You’re upset over a tap on the hand? Are you kidding me? Well, I know how ur children will be as an adult.
If u keep that baby from them over this then you are heartless.
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Definitely keep him away from your grandparents house, before his non listening ass fucks up their plants or something worse.
Wait, is this a joke? 
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I also never spanked my children however if my grandmother or grandfather had done that I WOULD BE OKAY WITH IT! He didn’t hurt him SMH…
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You know a tap is nothing. I think it’s overreacting… I think kids now need more discipline if they do something wrong.
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Oh my you have to be kidding this is part of what’s wrong with kids today bunch of sissy’s
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Why do you want to break their hearts? Ask them nicely, but don’t deprive them. Also remember, they are old school and a slap on the hand is far from abuse. My 5c
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Your poor grandparents!
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Yes you are over reacting. Kids are going to be kids. Pushing the envelope from time to time is what they do.
I babysit my niece’s 2 1/2 year old. When she doesn’t listen to me I pull out my fly swatter. It works most of the time just by showing it to her. Same with her older brother when he was little and their 2 1/2 year old cousin. I rarely actually use it on them. And their parents don’t get mad and keep them from me. It’s called discipline.
Same tactic was used with my niece and her siblings and my older sister’s children when they were all young. No parent got butt hurt because no child was actually hurt. (Except the kiddos’ feelings. 
)
As I said…it’s called discipline.
Oh and when my siblings and cousins and I were at our grandparent’s house when we were young and misbehaved our grandfather would make us lie on our stomach on the floor and scoot under the bed until nothing but our heads and arms were showing. He would sit in a chair by the bed with a switch and pretty much dare us to move or speak until he thought we had been punished long enough. Lol. We were never harmed and none of our parents ever got mad at him either. He was an AMAZING grandfather!
So if you don’t want your grandparents to discipline your child then stop letting them babysit or have a conversation with your child about behaving at grandparents house. Grandfather apologized and child wasn’t listening. Sounds justified to me and sounds like child wasn’t hurt physically anyway. I wouldn’t keep child away…that’s a bit harsh. But that’s just my opinion.
Yes madam ur supper overreacting. God. Parents these days. There r few ppl in world who are sincere to us. Grandparents are one of them. Don’t keep ur child away from them.
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As someone that lost all their good grandparents before 14yrs old, do not take away good grandparents. There isn’t enough of them in this world. A tap is just that, a tap. I have done the same thing as a reaction, it’s hard to unlearn bad habits. Obviously your child wasn’t listening tho. At 4, they know what “No” means.
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Then you need to be there to redirect your son 6 dozen times a day. 4 years old is old enough to learn/know that no means no or “honey, don’t touch grandma’s plants” then count to 3 and do it all over again 6 dozen more times.
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Wow is all I can say. It was a tap.
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Tapping a hand is NOT hitting ffs!! You’re way over the top!
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Definitely an overreaction. My grandparents were old school grandma was Sicilian Italian and you knew to run when that spoon came out. She didn’t speak a work of English, but you just knew…I turned out just fine. Discipline is an important part of parenting. It’s not beating the child if it’s a tap on the hand…I wish I’d have gotten more time with my grandparents. Don’t punish them for trying to be grandparents and don’t take away a great relationship that a lot of people don’t get a chance to have over something so trivial…
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How would you feel if that family member were to pass without seeing kids again I get you do not use physical as a form of consequences, yet they must love and have a bond with kids, so maybe talk to them not at them. chances are they watched you a time or two and your alive and well.
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Send him over there. It wasn’t an intentional discovery of your rules. Plus your kid needs to know not everyone will treat him the way you do in your own house. He will get yelled at in the world and he will probably be hit again in his life if he’s out of line in the world at large. Stop being so over bearing. And if there are other ways to get your 4 year old to listen and be respectful then you as the parent should’ve already taught him that when an adult tells him no, he needs to listen and be respectful. So obviously your other ways didn’t work.
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Over a tap on the hand?!? You can’t be serious!!
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I think most of these comments already summed up what I wanted to say. Major overreaction.
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Your grandfather did nothing wrong, but you did by completely overreacting. Get over yourself.
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If you disciplined your child he wouldn’t have to said it but once and there wouldn’t be need for Granddad to do the disciplining.
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OMG! You said he “tapped” the child… not BEAT or WHIPPED ! And if you think there is other ways to get a four year old to listen, why don’t you get him to listen to when he’s told NOT to touch grandmas plants?! 
Grandpa showed him what happens when you touch stuff you’ve been told not to and I’m sure it was probably just a tap on his hand!
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Yoko Okno say it for me……
Definitely over reaction and way too harsh.
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