Allow your child to be disciplined! What the heck! He/she is not being tortured. Your kid is gonna be a snowflake if you don’t. Btw, that is a bad thing.
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You know the answer to your question. If the discipline is inappropriate, then protect your child and don’t let him go over there. Trust your GUT, don’t ask anyone else. You know.
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This is precisely what’s wrong with society today. No respect. Children need to be taught that there are consequences for their actions, if you can’t do as you are asked then you deserve the consequences. Do you seriously think he can go through life doing whatever he pleases.
Grandad is teaching him what you have obviously failed to do.
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I would tell him if it happens again then no more. But I think worth a second chance at least, he did apologize
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I have a daughter who has autism and has a very hard time listening she was with my dad and was asked several times not to do something and continued he gave her a smack on the hand I explained to him that we don’t handle her that way but that I understood it was just a reaction and that he didn’t need to feel bad. He still felt very bad poor guy actually teared up but I know that he loves his grandbaby and I know that it was a knee-jerk reaction. I would never pull her away from himOr him from her I just let him know how I handle the situations and what works and we went on with our lives. No reason to and a relationship that’s barely had a chance to start between two people who love each other. I’m sorry but I think you’re overreacting by a lot
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There house there rules discipline your child women it’s your responsibility not there’s it’s not going destroy your child damage them for life or any of that bull crap it teaches that in life there is consequences to your actions that in life you don’t always get what you want that life has rules that NO MEANS NO teach them manners trust me it will help when they do grow up and in the real world that it’s not always a fairy tale it’s hard at times not everyone gets a trophy teach them to FREAKING MIND BE A PARENT
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You are overreacting
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OP, they finna drag you
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Seriously, do you want to grow up with a child that think they can do what ever they want, he didnt belt him he gave him a tap on the hand,
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It doesn’t sound like it’s a big deal. It’s just a tap on the hand. Children need to be disciplined. 
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Alittle discipline won’t hurt him best to start now before you find yourself running to the grandparents asking them what you should do cos your sons outta control Lmao
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Overreacting in a big way. A tap on the hand is not going to hurt you or your child. If a child doesn’t listen and continues to do what they’re told repeatedly NOT to do a tap snaps them out of the pattern of defiance and they learn that they have consequences for misbehaving. That’s what’s wrong with things now…No fear of getting a punishment that the kids don’t like. If I were told I had to go to "time out’ when I was growing up I would have LOVED it and giggled because I got to sit on my backside and not getting spanked on it. Too easy on kids now.
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It’s a slight tap. Baby is fine.
Plz dont deprive anyone of visits because of this.
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Is this a joke? Its a joke right??
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What are you going to do once he gets older and needs discipline. I’m so glad that I don’t or ever had those issues in my family. If you weren’t abused as a child by them what makes you think that they’re going to do anything harmful to your child. Once he becomes an adult those streets is going to teach him otherwise 
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Wow lady are u freaking kidding me???
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Really you’re overreacting Mexican people plus not spanking them makes me think that later on that there gonna pick on kids at school which there gonna think that’s oh okay and this is why kid’s now days want to learn self defense from moms and dads not teaching what’s no
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Grandpa deserves an apology
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This is rude as fuck. They are your grandparents. If you dont like it find another baby sitter.
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It was a tap. He apologized. I believe you are over reacting… everyone disciplines differently pretty sure that’s how he was raised and disciplined himself. He apologized I would accept it and move on not a huge deal in my opinion
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Guess what….keep his hard head lil butt home with you!!!
I’m a great grand and when I tell mine to stop and they don’t they get a pop!!
My grands have yet to threaten me with not bringing them around because they know I’ll get over it…
It’s you that’s being a drama Queen and I’m certain the day will come when you tap him too since he’s not listening now it’s going to get worse.
Good luck with him for it sounds like you’re gonna need it!!!
Will keep you and him in prayers
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Yes you’re overreacting 
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What if it would have been something hot? I’d much rather my kids get a tap on the hand rather then thier hand burnt. You’ve overreacted. Nothing wrong with a light tap on the hand.
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Oh no. The poor little darling is probably traumatized for life because of a smack on the hand. Damn
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And honestly a 4 year old should know not to touch plants and should listen when being ask. If you let ur kid get away with everything it’s gonna be so hard on you
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And these other ways are?
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If you weren’t there to see it how did you know it happened? Did the child tell you or did the grandparents? I’m thinking that the grandparents informed you which means they are being open with you. A tap really is just getting the child’s attention to say, "I said no, I mean no "
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At 4 he is old enough to be able to keep his hands off plants when told no sounds like you let him.do what ever he wants will there be rules when he goes to school or just more excuses about him not knowing.where his hands belong
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I have a four year old grand son when he don’t listen,and cutting up i pop that butt with my. hand and then he act right after that.
Well maybe tech the child some boundaries a slap on the hand is to show them no especially when they dont listen .
Your grandparents are probably older an its yoir responsibility to find someone to watch the child that fits your wants and needs as parents . But I mean hey to each there own but are u gonna replace the things that child breaks that you didnt pay for ! These are years grandparents are suppose to enjoy grandkids and not be ridiculed for a tap on the hand.
I got much worse when I was a kid
Your deff over reacting
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I fully agree with not hitting for discipline
But they have apologised and want to do better, I wouldn’t stop him going from just one incident
Does your child want to go over there is the question. If so then don’t sweat it if not them don’t…
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This is a joke, right?
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It was just a tap, mama! We Filipinos do more than tap, no offense, but we turn out ok.
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Yes you are overreacting, soo many kids miss out on having grandparents at all. I would not take that away from my child over something so minor. And yes that is minor, it’s a tap on the hand, your child is/was/will be just fine. Who knows he might even stop touching the plants when asked next time 
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If it really was a tap, I’d say it’s okay. I don’t allow anyone to spank my kids, so I completely understand you. Do you feel like Grandpa will actually spank your child, knowing how you feel? Ultimately it’s up to you but they are from a different generation where hitting was the norm.
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I say you should put your son in the care of strangers, after all it’s your grandparents and I’m sure you know first hand how dangerous they are. Yes, use strangers and pay them well.
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Oh god… Dont be one of those people 
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You’re way overreacting… Jesus.
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A tap isn’t bad, in my house, you get a pop on the butt. In my mom’s house, you DEFINITELY get more than a pop on the butt. Kids need to learn that not everyone disciplines the same. And everyone has different rules. They need to learn to listen no matter where they go.
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A tap isn’t that bad. He apologized. I bet your child behaves and follows his rules and still loves him.
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Get out already
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Um…he is 4?? I thought he was a baby…your 4 yr old should know what no means!!
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I would feel bad too if this happened however hes apologised, make sure he knows not to do that again or they wont be allowed alone again.
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Their house, their rules. If it got that far, he probably needed to be told multiple times and needed a stern hand to remind him that he is not at mamas house and can’t get away with whatever and needs to respect others property.
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Smh you’re being ridiculous. Be lucky he has grandparents that care for him. Yikes. Go put him in daycare 
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I think it’s interesting how everyone is quick to judge not knowing if she herself grew up being abused…that’s pretty traumatic in itself…
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I’m a Grandma of 18 !Five are Greats !We have a 4 yr old Great Grandson he has a lot of energy.Ill usually give 2 warnings then it’s a time out !But at 4 a child is old enough to be told NOT to do something and it shouldn’t have to be told over and over !All places have different rules …he will be going to kindergarten ,preschool ,Elementry ,he will have to obey all kinds of different rules.When our kids were little my husband and I both worked retail grocery .Our children knew better than to be touching everything in the store ! If they kept getting into things at the store they had to put their hands in their pockets ,if they had no pockets they had to flood their arms !We were strict cause many children tear stores up !I used time out,or taking things away ,etc…but to me a tap on the hand to remind him after he had been told already how many times ?Isn’t a hit a tap is a gentle reminder to stop touching what you shouldn’t be touching cause you’ve been already told ! I tapped my children’s hands when they had been told to stop I would say no no and tap their hands !They learned consequences for naughty behavior very early and we had well behaved children !We now have 3 very responsible ,hard working adults…Don’t take your child’s visits away from your grandparents that’s not fair I think Grandpa deserves an apology myself.
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Really…yes way over reacting…smh
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He should no better at four not to touch certain things my little grandson is only 2 and if I say no to him he knows to leave things alone I would never hit him but I suppose people are different at the way they deal with certain things.
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Lady get a grip, your child needs to know boundries, if a tap on the hand disturbs you so much, why in the heck do you have a kid… children need rules, boundries, structure… otherwise they become president and ruin a free country in weeks, instead of years.
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I would do anything in this world for my grandparents to spend time with their great grandkids. Life’s to short, plz move on and go hug your grandparents. You will feel happy and warm. You will regret it later in life doll. Xx
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Yea this generation really get over it
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Petty…. That baby won’t have grandparents forever. Are you really gonna let a spat on the hand come between your child and the grandparents?
They apologized, move on.
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Really? My God maybe you should teach your child to follow the rules then. Grandpa is not in the wrong here seems like your parenting skills are the issue
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You are OVERREACTING…TOTALLY!!!
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Let it go, Dont hurt your relationship over it.
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I recommend grampa tap the mom instead for not being a parent.
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You are over reacting:woman_facepalming: i feel for your grandparents:pray:
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It was a tap on the hand not a back hand round the head don’t forget thats how they would have disciplined their own kids, possibly harsher going by the difference in generations, your child wasn’t listening and wasn’t doing as they were told so they stepped it up slightly, they haven’t beaten them or locked them under the stairs. This is your issue…
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A 4yr old knows about don’t touch, if he doesn’t time to teach him. Overreacting at its finest.
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Just set the boundaries now and give them another chance. Not worth losing the relationship over it, it wasn’t that serious, your son is fine and still loves them, so just move on from it 
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When NOBODY will watch your kid don’t wonder why
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This entire generation is to f.king SOFT! Be a parent and not a friend, period
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I wouldn’t take him away from his grandparents. He said he didn’t mean to and apologized. If it happens again maybe reevaluate the situation.
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Yes you’re over reacting. At 4 years old, children are developmentally should be able to respond to requests like like leaving plants alone. (Basic rules in understanding to listen and be respectful.)
What do you do at home when your four year old doesn’t listen and continues to do what you’ve asked him not to do? If you do time out, maybe discuss which spot at your grandparents house that could be the designated time out area and you explain to your child if he does not listen and be respectful to his great grandparents that he will go to time out. Also I’d ask your child to apologise to his great grandparents for not listen. Going to theirs is a gift that some other child his ages do not get it spent time with their great grandparents. x
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And this is why most kids are little brats today. Because the parents doesn’t know how to parent these days. Hell yeah your over reacting.
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That is how they likely were raised and raised their own. I wouldn’t let that stand in way of letting your kiddo be there. By all means if you are so worried go with him for a time but unless your child has a special needs cond that makes it hard to follow rules, you need to teach him boundaries and respect for other’s property. You don’t say why he was disciplined but I assume he did touch something he wasn’t supposed to touch. Do you really want to raise a kid that doesn’t listen? You need to buy some fake flowers and teach him that certain things are a no no so when he goes places he understands there are things he can’t just play with just because he wants. Get grandparents on board and it sounds as If they just did it by instinct and not intentionally. Also they felt bad. Maybe your child is too energetic for older people to watch alone. Maybe you should get an older teen to come help keep your kiddo busy while he is there. But let him still visit just teach him that he needs to listen and obey while he is in others’ homes.
Your grandparents must be obviously so upset. This is not nice of you at all
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As a grandmother who has experienced not seeing a grandchild due to differences it is a struggle. However i had to be willing to set my own feelings aside and have a healthy discussion on what is acceptable and what it not. My feelings were hurt several times by my child in regards to how i handled a situation. Now mine did nit involve physical measures but often things we did not agree on. What i had to realize is i didn’t want my parents to parent my children so why should it be different. Have those conversations with your parents ahead of time. Does your child seem afraid or fear the grandpa. He should still be able at 4 to express that if he understood. Not having my grandchild in my life on and off was one of the most hurtful periods of time. At the end of the day. My grandson knew we loved him. There is nothing wrong with communicating boundaries. It can be hurtful but in the long run healthy for all involved. We all make mistakes. Now have a conversations with the grown ups of what is acceptable consequences for behaviors that may require it. Have an age appropriate conversation with your child about being at someone’s home and what is acceptable. Could the grandparents redirected and had a conversation at 4 maybe the child was curious. At the end of the day it not really about the tap on hand. It about trust between parent and child that the interest of the child is first. It tough being a grandparents these days. So much has changed in this world. Give them another chance as long as your child not feel scared. It all about boundaries whether agree or not. Best wishes. These are hard ones to navigate but having a grandchild and grandparent relationship is one of the best ever. Best wishes you can work it out and love and respect for each other and interest of child be first.
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Ok Karen…enough. Move outta drama city. Get real.
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It’s a tap on the hand. Stop being soo soft.
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If grandpa doesn’t tap his hand your son is gonna tap dat as s . Your sons feelings were probably more hurt than the tap. I bet he won’t touch them plants again when told to stop!!!
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Definitely over reacting
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No means no… I woulda thumped him upside the head in hopes to knock some sense into him… after the “ahhhahhht… no!”
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I would feel upset too. Nobody has the right to put their hands on my child wether or not it’s just a tap on the hand 
The grandpa might have been just trying to prevent an injury.
maybe the plant is dangerous 
maybe the plant is sensitive to touch and doesn’t want it to wilt
Your child is 4. If your child doesn’t understand “don’t touch” you should start now.
I am currently doing this “plant awareness” with my 4 year old. She’s so curious just like most children. She tries to pick random plants so we had to sit down and talk about plants that can and can’t be picked or touched period. Wild mushrooms grow in my yard so that’s one she knows not to touch. House plants don’t get touched period. Garden plants don’t get picked until ready to harvest. Stuff like that.
Let the grandparents spend time with their grand baby while they still have the time maybe they can help you with your child
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Please let it go . I am 67 and my aunt and wife will not let me keep my grandsons due to things like this and I am here to tell you it’s has broken my heart. It the hardest thing that I deal with everyday I live .
Total over reaction. A grandparent and grandchild relationship od so precious and you want cause a scene about a tap on the hand and they have apologized? Why didn’t you have a plan in place of this is how you feel?
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Yeah I wouldn’t be sending my kids over for a while unsupervised there. First it’s a tap on the hand next thing you know their bending your child over their knee. They crossed a boundary. Reaction or not doesn’t change the fact. There’s no hitting my household either and my parents wouldn’t have my kids for a long time without me if they ever laid their hands on my kids.
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I cannot relate with all this comments… Wow 
Some times talking or timeouts doesn’t work you have to understand each problem that they are doing is it going to hurt them or someone else and how many times do you tell them to not do that anymore and then you just get their attention by a smack on the but or on their hands and maybe some soap in there mouths remember we are the parents it’s not the other way around good luck grandma and grandpa if this is a problem at four years old I can’t wait until-14- years old
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Dang yall to sensitive. A kid needs boundaries. And repercussions if crossed. Good luck with that.
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Don’t let something small like this stop the kid from seeing the grandparents.
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My Nan used to throw her slipper at me (I used to throw it back so was pointless tbh)
Never did me any harm. A taps nothing. I’ve tapped my nieces hand before now when she’s reached for something dangerous that could hurt her out of panic. She looked at me in surprise, i said dont touch it’s (whatever it was bad for) and then had a cuddle with her and made her giggle.
She didn’t try again and didn’t get upset. Win win
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This is their way. You trust them enough to look after the kid when you need them ot should be their rules.
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It sounds like he swatted your kid away from his plants honestly.
Maybe speak to your child about what he did wrong, it doesn’t sound malicious.
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tap away , the childs not listening but he is now, he hurts himself alot worse when he falls over so dont be so touchy and if there in there own house they have a right to protect it, even from a 4 yr old…your making a mountain out of a molehill…
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O people grow up it was a slap on the hand omg
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Good luck with the monster you’re raising
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If a kid touches my peacelilly I’m tackling that little sh*tstain.
Good on grandpa. Mamma get your drawers outta the bunch. Maybe talk to your family instead of resorting to Facebook
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So, I totally get you being upset, but you just said he apologized and said it was just a reaction. We have to remember that they grew up in a different Era. If it happens again, okay then say you need to be there, but a one time mistake that was a tap on the hand? Again, you spoke your peace, and he apologized letting you know that it was his bad. If one mistake condemns them from being grandparents, then I guess there is more to the story your refusing to tell, or you don’t believe that mistakes are possible.
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Yes l think you’re over reacting. I could understand if he’d walloped your child and it was totally out of the blue or skelped him across the back of the head but for all those people crying it’s abuse to hit your children etc etc There is a massive difference in a small tap to the back of the hand or bottom after repeatedly telling a child NO. However l respect the wishes of those that don’t agree with it, it is your choice. I suspect the grandpa was acting on autopilot and perhaps trying to prevent your child damaging the plant or it was maybe one that was poisonous if handled incorrectly?
My children got a smacked bottom when little, not often because they KNEW if they didn’t stop doing something wrong after being asked to stop then that was what would happen. I can’t remember the last time either got a tap because all it takes is a look now and they are generally well behaved and good kids. People blow stuff out of proportion all the time. If grandpa has apologised and your son is still happy to go see them then l wouldn’t stop them seeing him. He’s probably forgotten all about it by now unless you are continually bringing it up. Just ask them to handle it a different way if something like that should occur next time. They’re of a different generation, they deserve that much chance especially if they are willing to change how they act.
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I thought you meant cellotaped them 
Your situation is complicated because of your different parenting methods.Let your child visit your grandparents when your present to supervise them,4yr olds can be a handful they love to discover and explore and asking your grandparents to adhere to parenting methods they’re not familiar with might be too much of an ask.
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Oh God…
We’re doomed.
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They raise you how did you get to your level and now you don’t trust them there something wrong with you
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When I was younger my discipline by my mom was suffocation if I cried if I bit my brother it was tobasco sauce poured down my throat that’s abuse what my mom did to me and my siblings my brother’s discipline was the pit bull on him he even has a scar on his neck to this day from it again what my mom did was abuse I would have given anything just for a tap on the hand when I misbehaved my 4 year old has ODD so that makes disciplining difficult I keep trying to get my daughter’s dad to help me with time outs but he’s adamant about spanking I would be ok with spanking if it didn’t send me into having flashbacks of when my mom overdid her spankings to where it was more hitting and leaving welts on my lower back now because I don’t like spanking he makes me do all the disciplining which is stressful on me because he doesn’t do his job as a parent just acts more like a baby sitter and yes her dad and I live in the same household so because I have to do everything parenting wise it’s hard on me because I also have to train my own service dog
I try to do both at the same time and yes kids at the age of four should already know how to leave things alone
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It’s a tap… your child is fine
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I don’t smack my children either but if someone were to tap my children on the hand after being told not to do something over and over then that is fair enough.
A tap and a smack are completely different… A tap will just get them to notice, it won’t hurt. Where as a smack will hurt.
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Obviously he wasn’t listening to their requests so how else would you baby your child to stop messing with their stuff?? Good lord a tap How soft is this world.
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