I need help with something that has been bothering me for about 3 years now. I am twice divorced but realized that I am still in love with 1st husband. I want to tell him, but he is married now. We still have a good relationship & stay in contact with each other. I don’t want to ruin the relationship we have now, but should I tell him I’m still in love with him? We are in our mid 50’s with adult children and grandchildren. The way the world is today, I just feel like he should know, just in case something happens to one of us. This has been driving me crazy though. I think about him every day. Just looking for a little advice.
No. He’s married. Leave him be.
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no. don’t tell him. he’s married, he’s happy. leave him alone.
if he was single then i’d be like yessss go tell him!!! but no, don’t do it.
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No he’s married. Not only is that disrespectful to his wife but I’m sure your children wouldn’t appreciate it either.
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“In case if something happens to one of us” is not a justification for wrecking a home he built with another woman.
Seems like you’re just bitter and jealous and trying to stir the pot.
Learn to love yourself instead……
(These posts just get worse and worse)
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Where’s your “girl code”.? How can you do that to another woman. Leave his wife and him alone.
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That seems like a selfish thing to do if he’s married. If you truly love him leave him alone.
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Leave it alone, don’t mess up his marriage. It’s over, move on and be grateful you’re still friends with him. Enjoy that friendship but don’t ruin it by messing up his marriage and thus possibly ending your friendship.
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No that boats sailed
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No. If he’s happy in his marriage then leave it alone. Think about how you would feel if you were his current wife and an ex came back mucking things up.
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Smh H*LL NO. LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE!!
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No. Leave the man alone.
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You would only be telling him to make yourself feel better. It would be one thing if he was single and you thought you could rekindle something. Telling him now would be cruel to those around you. Cruel to him and to the wife,kids, ans grandkids.
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No hes married. Leave him be personally! No need to turn his life upside down you’ve had your chance your chance of happiness with him now its his wifes turn!
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Of course you still love him. He’s your first husband and father of your children.
What are you expecting from telling him?
The communication alone already says it why would you tell him and lose the trust of his spouse and your children
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No, he has another life just let it be and remain friends. Maybe you guys were not meant to be as a couple.
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If he was single I would say go for it. However he is married and it is disrespectful to him and his wife. So say nothing.
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He is married , you had your chance 
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No. If you were currently married, how would you feel if your husband’s first wife confessed her undying feelings for him? Disrespected? Annoyed? Upset?
Some things are better left unsaid. Move on and work on yourself.
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That’s how you start affairs mkay. If he was single, absolutely! Let it go lady
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Girl you had your chance now leaving that man & his wife alone!!
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No! So not right! You should leave them alone.
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I would tell him . Honesty is the way forward that way you both get closure you get to say how you feel and he will be able to tell you if he’s happy without you or not that way you’ll know to move on or whatever .
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Keep it to yourself. He’s married
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Just cuz you decided that you’re still in love with him doesn’t mean he’s still in love with you. You could very well ruin the friendship you have with him
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If you really love him leave him alone. He’s married to someone else. No matter the circumstances is it never ok to be a home wrecker
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Keep your thoughts to yourself and your mouth shut!!!
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Hes married leave him alone
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Leave that man alone
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You leave it some. Too late now
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If it’s bothering you that much then yes sometimes we have to be selfish in this world and do things for our selfs, it can either go one way or the other but least you know these things are hard x
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NO NO NO!!! He’s a MARRIED man.
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No!!! If he’s married stay out of his lane. You are trying to live in the past.
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Eewwwwwwwwww you just want ppl to tell u it’s ok to try n be a homewrecker
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So you’re in your 50’s and still contemplating starting unnecessary drama? Oof.
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He’s married don’t mess with that. How would you feel if someone did that to you?!? Sorry but you’re old enough to know better.
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Eww no it’s not your way
If u feel the need to tell him then write him a letter… put it up and when the day u pass on he can receive it… if u change ur mind telling him after u get it out on paper burn the letter…
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Absolutely no, move on. Grow up pleeese!!!
Would you want to make this confession infront of his wife? It’s only fair.
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Go to therapy and work through your feelings. Don’t fuck up his home life because you haven’t processed 2 failed marriages ago.
No…. It serves NO PURPOSE!
Remind me of that friends episode
dude leave the man and his wife alone. tf. find someone who isn’t married 
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If u truly love him let him be happy…I’m sorry but that’s ur prob not his dont blow up his life because u feel the need to talk about ur feelings get a counselor and leave him be …enjoy the relationship u have and be grateful for it!!!
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You are in you’re 50’s and ok starting a mess bc you are lonely? Come on lady,hes married cut the crap
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Hes married. Leave him be.
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No he’s married. Must respect that.
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I’d keep that one to yourself. no need to cause problems, which that’s all telling him could do imo
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“I don’t want to ruin the relationship we have now”…umm you should be more concerned about ruining the marriage he HAS. Be respectful of his relationship
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Did you love him when you married your second husband? Seems to me like you just want to get something back you had and lost. He’s married, keep your mouth shut and find somebody else.
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You want permission to ruin a marriage? NO IT IS NOT OKAY!! You had your chance now leave his marriage alone.
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No, if he is happy in his life now you have no right to disrupt it. You had your chance. This is your burden to bare. Why #1 put him in an awkward situation and 2 it may ruin your friendship.
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LoL what the hell you had you time now leave the wife to have Hers besides you old 
Women like this is why I have trust issues with women 
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Oh.
Oh no baby noooo.
Im sorry. That your feelings are running WILD. But that’s a definite No-Go.
Your time with him seems to have come and gone. Let this man and his current wife be.
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I agree - no! Please look into seeing a therapist to help you sort out feelings. You’ll get to speak those feelings and get perspective about why it should be left alone.
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He loves his wife and life … find your own path and don’t bother his.
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No you are not going to tell him. You are going to move on and let him be happy with the new one. If roles were reversed you would be absolutely pissed
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No keep it to yourself.
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Nope! Bad idea. He’s clearly moved on and MARRIED! It’s going to make things uncomfortable when you guys are together at events for your children and grandchildren. Get into therapy and work through those feelings because it could be that you are lonely and scared to move on. Especially if you have been hurt recently. Much easier to live in the past then to move forward into the unknown future.
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Abso-fucking-lutely NOT. He’s married. Don’t go putting stuff in his head because of your feelings.
Not if he is happily married… Now if he is separated and divorcing, yes.
Nope. He is re-married. Leave it alone.
It’s unfortunate to be in that position and it’s not mutual, but it’s ok. It happens. Best to move forwards. It’ll torment you forever. Saw it with my gma. I’d see a professional to get you through severing those feelings.x
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He’s married.
Leave him alone.
Maybe take the time to work out if you really l9ve him or you hate being alone and wanted something back that was comfortable. You both moved on. Let it go.
Write a letter to be given to him when you die.
Do NOT ruin his marriage.
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McDonald’s fries are never good reheated… read that again and move on
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If my man had an ex and she told him that she was in love with him while I was married to him, okay. I’d go spit on her 
the next week.
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He’s married. There’s your answer
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Do you still love him or the way life was when you were with him. Big difference.
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If he wasn’t married yes. But he is so let it be.
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I think it’s all in your head.
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If you bored just say that, damn. Don’t go ruining some poor man’s life just cause you want him back again, that’s to Damm bad. He married now, so go find those feelings with someone else who’s single.
Why you had your chance now that he’s married to another that truly loves him , you want to go in breakup the happy marriage, go find your own love , don’t mess with theirs
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No and if you do it’s going to change the whole relationship dynamic and you’re going to make his new wife really pissed off
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What’s the relationship you have with him now? If he’s married, you shouldn’t even have one other than being cordial in passing. I wouldn’t like my husband still being in close contact with his ex. Red 
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It would be different if he was single/divorced and not married then maybe saying your opinion but not if he’s in a marriage and things seem to be going well for him, why ruin what he’s worked on after loosing you to start with, just let him be and maybe talk to someone else eg. A Councillor if not wanting one then maybe try a friend and get things off your chest xx
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You already had your chance move on lady
Hes a married man. You have no place disrupting his life that way.
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Lmao…your in love with the idea! In love with something you can’t have. Smh…you give women such a horrible slant
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You had your chance honey. now leave him alone!!!
Nope, you do not go and try and ruin what he has is more what you should be asking. Disturbing you wanna try and be a homewrecker but not surprised considering how many times you’ve been divorced. If anything be single for the sake of men
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The hell what everybody is saying. He want know unless you tell him. Go for it.
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Keep it to yourself. Don’t drop a guilt trip on that man
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Ask his wife what she thinks you should do.
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Maybe he feels the same way…go for it. You both could jus be afraid to say something
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She never said why they got divorced. I would imagine it is for a reason. Whether it was her decision or his decision. If it was him who wanted the divorce then there is your answer as well. I understand that people grow and mature etc… But like most have pointed out, he is married and you simply only need put yourself in his current wife’s shoes to know how you would feel if your man’s ex told him that she loved him and thought about him everyday…
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There still can be love through understanding and respect. If you still love someone, tell them, because when they are gone, you’ll have a hole in your heart when they are replaced.
Sounds like a midlife crisis. U have two marriages under belt and probably feel like ur gonna die alone so you’ve made urself believe ur still in love with the first one. Anyone is better than no one? IMO leave him alone and go find someone knew.
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When my daughters father and I coparented good, I always felt like we could get back together. I always thought we were going to be good together like we were when we coparented well but that was not the case. We separated multiple times before his passing. I loved him the entire time and I still do… but we weren’t good together which is why we ended up separated it in the first place. The biggest thing here is he is currently married if he wasn’t I would say go for it but don’t be that woman that breaks up a good marriage. If they end up separating one day (due to their own reasons) , and you still have these feelings, maybe then you can try if you still feel the same way as you do now and haven’t moved on . I don’t know if you guys separated when you were young and now your different people and that is why your questioning if you want to be with him but either way a married man is paws off.
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Nope his married meaning his in love with the person his with now .you had your chance in your time now his in love with someone else and the most amazing act of love you can give him is “leaving him alone and letting him be happy with his wife “
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That’s a no for me. He is remarried and that probably will break the good relationship you have now and just stir the pot.
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If he doesn’t feel the same way you could possibly ruin the relationship y’all have built and lose any trust his wife has for you. If he does feel the same you’ll be ruining a marriage. If you say nothing it will possibly destroy you emotionally. You need to really think about what results you want from telling him. Do you love him romantically so you want to rekindle a relationship or do you love him as a friend and want to continue as you are. If you think love him romantically do you really love him or do you just miss the past?
Go for it I married my 1st husband again after being separated for 28 years
Umm no, he’s married now and moved on. No wonder why you went through 2 marriages. You’re selfish! Let him and his family be, don’t be a homewrecker, you had your chance.
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You might be inlove with him but he is married to someone else respect that, you had your chance and both of you moved on,so why try to destroye someone’s else’s happiness with a “I still love you” phrase?
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Don’t be that woman! He’s married now and if he felt any type of romantic love for you he would have told you by now. Don’t ruin what you have with him now and on top of that his marriage
Think of the drama it would cause, how would your grown children feel
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NO. He is married. He has moved on. Leave him alone.
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No way!!! He is married!!! Anyway, there is a reason you are not together anymore and you sound much better as friends.