Yes my oldest dad pays child support all summer even tho he has the majority. In the eyes of Dhhs if you had a court order of doesn’t just stop because the kids with them of you are the custodial parent
No no no …. Go to court and get an order. He is manipulating you.
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Why don’t you have a court order?
Hes got them the full week on holidays , jst enjoy your week of peace
I’m a woman and I’ll just say it some of y’all use your kids as a crutch! I’ve never made my ex husband pay child support and if my current husband and I split he will never pay a dime. I just don’t understand it. We have my husbands kids all the damn time (full weeks at a time) and he still pays their mother 450.00 a month in support for kids she never has 
If you are that upset about one week then you need to get a court ordered payment plan going. And if you’re relying on that to solely pay your bills then need to re-evaluate your job and how you are living. Child support is for the kids needs not rent. A place to live, electricity, and running water are a parent’s responsibility not child support responsibility. So many women these days use it as a means to live and that’s not ok. And if you’ve decided on verbal agreement there’s nothing much you can do.
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Sad sad day when money is more imp than relationship
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No he shouldn’t!! If he has the kids with him then he is supporting them at the moment. It’s not his place to park your “on going expenses” go get a job for that shit. It’s the child he should pay for. Not the mother:100:
My thought is that he should continue to pay the child support even if he has them for the week. Your bills aren’t going to go away just because he took the kids for a week. He is helping to keep a roof over their head, clothes on their backs and food in their mouth. This is what a proper father should be paying for and just because they take them for the week doesn’t mean that his obligation is filled on that front.
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If he has the kids then no he shouldn’t have to pay as he is taking care of them making sure they eat have clothes and a roof over there heads
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You don’t have the kids. Children are not a form of passive income! Child support is for the children. He shouldn’t pay
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He shouldn’t pay…He has the kids for the entire week. The $ that he would give you he should be spending it on the kids plus more.
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A court order would resolve all issues and should be in place regardless
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idt he should have to pay for that week. u wont have them so what do u need that $ for 
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I never received a dime of child support from my ex. However, if our kids needed something he purchased it, field trip…he paid, sports…he paid, first car…he purchased. He took them every other weekend, extra time when school was out. I did not want him to support me. It was my job to pay my living expenses. The kids wanted a new outfit he would take them to the mall and get it. It was our agreement that anything they needed or wanted he would supply. Oh he purchased and paid for their cell phones too. I would have rent, utilities etc…if I didn’t have kids.
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What would u do if he wasnt paying any child support? I’m a single mom with no help as my kids dad is incarcerated. I support my kids fully by myself. I think it’s more important that he has a relationship with them and is helping u but if he has them for a week I’d let it go and not worry about it. U r getting free time and he will be providing for them for that week
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No he should not. He’s taking care of them on his time. Your bills are your bills period you would have them regardless if you have kids or not. And considering you kids won’t be home that week can’t use the excuse oh well they use extra power food ect. Child support is for the child not you.
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I think if he’s going to not stick to the agreement then it’s time to get the courts involved
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The only way to solve your problem is to go to court. You can choose to fight him for that weeks child support, or you can let it go, and gave child support and visitation done through DOR. BTW they take his cost of living into account as well so that’s a poor argument on his behalf.
Why would you need money for the time the kids are gone. Some women I swear:weary:
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That is why verbal agreements don’t work. Trust me going to court and have everything in writing is always the best.
If there were a court order in place, he would 1) be paying more. Because it’s based on his income. 2) be paying you whether he has them for the week or not. Non custodial parents don’t get “vacations” from paying child support.
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Take him to court, establish an order, then he can find out how much MORE he should be paying and not get off easy like he has been. Even if he pays you for this week off. Men need to be HELD ACCOUNTABLE for their kids
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I agree with Jessica and Jennifer if you devorced and didn’t have kids you would have to support yourself anyway where there a will there’s a way
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My opinion bullshit on the voluntary if you’re separated it’s his kid he hast to pay support get a court order
Soo I am a single mother and when we first split up he never paid support he got married and his new wife paid support twice and crossed the line on an occasion i took him to court for support and custody judge ended up giving 100 percent physcial custody to me but 50/50 everything else. He was ordered to pay 235 bi weekly and i never got it. We ended up in meeting with CS on several occasions and I still did not get his back support. Finally we have come to an agreement that we have 50/50 custody all the way around so neither one of us pay support but if we need to help each other out we do. Though we share children togather we are not togather but the support seemed to put a strain on our relationship of being good paretns to our children. There may be weeks I struggle but because we have 50/50 custody our children just dislike each other but get total support from both our familes and no its doesn’t answer your question however if the strain of the support payments are making either party stressed out that they aren’t able to pay their bills than a court order needs to be put in place. Since its a verable agreement theres no records the CS will try to get all the way since the child was born. I just feel like honestly if you guys are getting along with out a support order keep it this way and let him have the money for 1 week so the kids can enjoy thier time with thier dad and not just be stuck in a beach house on electronics for the week
You should be glad he’s paying willingly. I’ve had to go back to court over and over. To just be met with no support. It’s only a weeks payment. Let him have it this time if he needs the extra for vacation this time. Tell him In the future it will need to be paid as always. Just choose your battle on this one
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Maybe ask for half? You should write down your verbal agreement and both sign it. He can’t just pay when it’s convenient. And yes, you probably need the $ but you have to play nice.
I think he should just because he has them so what you still need and count on it to get you what you need for monthly needs will fall short on food household items gas in the car excetra and for God sakes take him to court he stops once he’ll do it again then where r u waiting for court dates get it in writing then you can make your own contract have it notarized specifically amount and weekly biweekly monthly can go until said child is 26 if they stay with you and stay in college
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Even through the courts they don’t make them pay when he has them. My sons father was an out of state dad that pays child support through the courts. When he took them for his weeks in the summer he did not have to pay me.
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No he shouldn’t pay. Just like parents who go through court. If he has them more then 5 consecutive days you don’t get support for that week.
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Child support is to support the child/children. Meaning housing…clothes…food…anything that child needs. These expenses are continuing whether you have them. You have full custody and their needs needs met.
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Quit being petty 
they are YOUR kids too… I don’t know the total situation obviously but I hate hearing this.
Nope he shouldn’t pay
What? He should pay only what he is entitled to not extra.
Omg lady you sound so selfish. Are these ongoing expenses for you or the kids? Cause it sounds like this is ALL about you. I mean why take his money so he has even less to spend on the kids while on vacation? Do you want your kids to have a good time or not because you wanted more money? Child support shouldn’t be for you. Its for the kids.
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It’s best left alone
Well if he doesn’t you’ll have to decide whether to take him to court for whatever amount the judge thinks he should pay which probably likely be more
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Girl that support money is for your kids not your ongoing expenses. If they are with him for a whole week then hell no he shouldn’t have to pay.
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If he helps with school clothes and supplies, medical bills or anything throughout the year, no he shouldn’t pay. When he sees them on weekends, over night he still pays. Be thankful hes a part of their life.
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My initial thought is that he shouldn’t have to pay that week. But then I consider what this would look like if this was a court ordered agreement. And the courts are not giving him a week off. Reason being is that the funds are to support the child which does include shelter, utilities, clothing, food, etc. The payer isn’t liable for the full cost of those things, just a percentage deemed reasonable by the court based on wages. So he could pay the week or have a court order him to pay every week regardless until the age of 18 or longer if the child goes to college. Because this is a verbal agreement, you should consider the ripple effect of demanding him to pay. Do you truly need the weeks’ pay for something that provides for the child? If no, maybe a pass. If yes, then explain to him why you need it. Keeping a healthy relationship is best.
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Unless y’all split child care and expenses evenly. He pays the same . One week with his children doesn’t amount to shit if time isn’t evenly split
I paid support for a few years. Yes he should have to pay for the time he has the children. The court would demand payment. I would suggest you run it through the court for your and his protection. I did what you are doing and got taken. It’s easy for a woman to get it done.
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Like you said, you’ve still got bills to pay. He’s lucky he not going through court ordered support, he’d be paying every week and no time off for vacation.
Yes, you’re still providing a roof over their heads.
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Yea Bc my rent is still due in the summer when he has him 
Not my fault he decided to peace out 
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Tell him this helps with med insurance food bill clothes ect also tell him we can go threw court which usually lot more money
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Omg if it’s not court ordered be glad he pays u anything. No he shouldn’t pay u for the week he has the kids. HE has them and needs the money for them. Geez🙄
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Lordy if one week spending money on the kids is breaking the bank get a new solution
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No he shouldn’t pay if he has them for the week cause he is providing everything for them.
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Sounds like a court order is needed
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He is spending money on the kids or do you need the money for a car payment or something you have factored into your budget. If you say he doesn’t need the money for their holidays neither do you
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If you want consistent child support then go through the courts
Just go through the courts and call it a day
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I wouldnt ask for it. Let him have some extra funds to spend on the kids for the whole week he has them. Your not paying for extra food for that week use that money.
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why would you want the support for the week he has them on vacation. Let him keep the weeks support for them , he has them anyways not you. file in court for a support order.
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I don’t understand females sometimes🙄
“He manipulated me” like if you know he did why you still go on with the agreement. Like damn just do a court order.
Get a court order in place. I think he should pay though because inspite of him taking them it was as per initial agreement. You see to them 24/7 so he should honour the original agreement. Should he not pay then I do suggest that you get a court order asap
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That’s not how child support works. You do not get paid for your ‘‘ongoing expenses’’ when you’re not having your kids.
My boys dad pays for them both regardless, he always helps out during the month too and if I need help with shopping he also pays for that. That’s regales I’d he takes them away or not. Seems like money is more important than his kids having what they need x
Child support is supposed to go to the kids. Not to you.
You don’t need that money let him use it for the kids on their holiday. You shouldn’t need that money considering they’re not going to be there. Don’t be selfish it’s for the kids. 
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Definitely not! The money he would usually send you will go on the kids when they’re in his care. There is no need for you to have the money due to the kids not being in your care 
No I don’t think he should x
Why would you expect him to pay child support if they are in his care? If anything you should be paying him child support for the week!
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He’s supporting the child that week so no he shouldn’t have to pay child support. Your not buying groceries or anything like that for the child that week. Would you be willing to pay it if the situation was the other way around?
My ex has to pay child support even when my child is with him. It’s a court order.
But voluntary support with no orders is considered a gift… he doesn’t have to pay a dime without an order.
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Yes he should still pay… Your child support income should support everything your child needs, from activities/groceries/necessities. That doesn’t stop because the child isn’t in your home for 7 days.
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Open your eyes and be fair. This isn’t about you, it’s about your kids. If you work save your money for these types of incidents. When I divorced I waved child support. We has equal time and it was about the kids. I found a job that supported my time with them and he had his job to support his time with them. The bottom line is it’s about the children. If you can’t afford to live reevaluate your expenses.
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It doesn’t matter if you made an agreement or not outside of court. Take it to court , you can change that real fast irregardless of agreements outside of court. And if it were court ordered he would have to pay you monthly wether he has bills , goes on vacation etc . And you would be getting the fair amount he would have to pay if court ordered .
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Umm my court order said he didn’t pay while the children were with him for the 2 mths out of the summer. So no he shouldn’t have to. It really is about the kids.
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Absolutely. Also, go through your state and get an order. That way you won’t have to worry. My sons father took our son for the entire Summer a few years ago. He lives in another state and paid CS the entire time he had our son. Ive had my son full time for 9 years and this is the only time his father has done that.
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No he shouldn’t pay you child support while he has them. Let him use that extra money to spend on them.
Many women take advantage of the child support and use it as a way to pay for their own personal expenses, not including the child expenses. Y’all BOTH wanted to have kids, now both of you go half and half on supporting the child(ren). He does have to pay for his own rent and his own expenses, that is not manipulation, that is reality. Now, if you cannot afford to pay your own expenses then you might be living way above your means.
Your expenses are not his problem. With that being said, if there was a court order in place, he would still have to pay, even if he’s going to have them extra time!
I expect the same amount, regardless of extras always lol. But compromise is always welcomed and worth communicating around. If I were in this situation I would consider accepting, especially if it goes to my kids. Good luck!
Honestly it depends, how is he paying monthly weekly what. I would say let him use that week to support them.
Maybe I’m crazy but no I don’t think he should. He pays child support to help support the children. I don’t think people should be dependent on that money to support themselves and their basic needs. Yes your children need a home and certain things to survive but child support is to help pay half of children’s expenses not pay for everything. If it were 50/50 custody there would be no child support and you would still have to make sure there’s a roof over your head, food in your stomach, etc. I learned quick not to rely on child support. I took care of my son on my income and child support became an emergency fund in case there was something unexpected.
I wonder how much this weekly support is that he’s voluntarily paying? Because for you to write anonymously to this page asking for advice it must be an amount you rely on every week to help pay bills. I mean if you look at it this way, you go to court and have a monthly amount set by a magistrate the payments wouldn’t stop just because he has them for vacation one week. The children are going to use the utilities (gas, electric, water, etc.) the week before their vacation. Their going to eat the food in the fridge, their going to use their toiletries each day the week before. And all of those things such as the utility bills, groceries, any other house hold item for the children that needs to be bought will still need to be when the children go for vacation. So I strongly feel he still needs to pay this week. My ex pays a big whopping $17 a week, and that’s a court order! 
My ex pays me a set amount each month whether he takes our son away for a week or two or not. To be honest he has never asked or mentioned not paying when he has him, he just does pay.
If you have full custody than yes he should pay. 1 week out of the 365 days that you have them, doesn’t even compare to the daily expenses you shoulder.
You need to get a legal custody agreement because if you don’t then this will continue to happen.
No he can still pay for that week, but you can send the children with money from that to spend while they are there and tell him that you are going to send some from child support for each child to spend(Even put it on a prepaid card for each child and have him return cards when they come home if your worried about him taking the money back) and tell him that is why he’s paying child support is to support the children for the roof over there head at times or spending money for them when they go somewhere😊. Also if it’s court ordered and he don’t pay regardless if you said it’s ok not to send it they will still tack it onto back support.
If anything, it should be lessened to just the cost you pay for health insurance that you pay for the kiddos. That is the only thing that is an expense that doesnt change regardless of who has the kids.
Uhhhh yeah he still should. The fact that he’s fighting it almost makes it seem like half the reason he’s taking them is so he can get out of paying.
Child support, when it goes through the court, doesn’t stop when the non-custodial parent picks up more time. Why should his?
Coming from a single mom here… child support isn’t an income, you shouldn’t depend on it to pay your bills. If he lost his job tomorrow, what would you do?
As far as if he should pay… my opinion is if he has them close to 50/50, then no. However, my ex has my kids about 30 days total during the entire year. That’s 0.08% of the year. He still pays for that month. I don’t depend on it tho, it’s just extra money we use for fun stuff.
Get the court order. It’s not “support” just for when the kids are with you, it’s so you can budget and afford bills that support the kids even when they aren’t with you.
Be thankful for what he does pay without it being court ordered. Many women get NOTHING (even with a court order)!
Sorry but your "on going expenses " aren’t his problem. If you guys have a set thing for money, he should only be primarily responsible for clothing, shoes, toilette items, food, and schooling expenses.
If you want him to pay you regardless of any circumstances, take him to court. He is not paying you for that week he is taking your child on vacation because there is no need to pay you when the child is not with you.
If your car is in the shop for a week do you get to not pay your car payment or pro-rate that payment to a lower amount for the week you could not drive said car? No! Okay, the expenses do not stop just because the children are with him for a week. Yes, he should have to pay as that is the law. A court order would solve all of the issues.
If he is buying everything 4 kids ne way there should b no support what so ever make sure u have a JOB 2 support ur kids!
Look at it from legal basis. If court ordered it would be monthly not weekly. No. It does not seem fair to pay support for the week if kids are with that parent buttttt in the eyes of the court that doesnt matter. Child support is for living expenses. Ur grocery bill, utilities, etc. dont stop for that week that they are gone. Thats why there should be a set MONTHLY amount like the court would do and he is welcome to pay the MONTHLY amount weekly but it is still a set amount regardless of if he has em a week or not. Sure he does have bills as well but if he cannot afford his responsibilities such as bills and child support AND a weeks vacation, then vacation shouldnt happen. Ur obligations come first. Fun comes later.
You say he doesn’t pay that much, but you can’t hold it down without his “minimal payment” for a week? If the kids are such a burden on your bills, give him custody and you pay him child support, see if you’re still feeling some type of way.
I can get both sides to this. My fiancé has a 12 year old son that he gives child support to and it’s probably not what he “should be”paying but in all honesty we both don’t make that much and sometimes struggle so what him and his ex have agreed to for child support is none of my business or anyone else’s. He pays what he can and is living paycheck to paycheck. Just this last weekend I’ve had to get all the food for us to live off of for the weekend with him.
He did mention keeping him for a month this summer and not paying child support for that month which makes sense to me since we’ll have him for the whole month and be supporting him.
If it was court ordered he would be paying monthly or weekly and the court would not give him a week off. I’m not sure why this is a debate. She has already been lenient with him by excepting less and not going through the court.
He also is presumably staying for free at his mother’s so that is already a large savings. If the children are in daycare you usually have to pay the full week or a fee when the children are not there to hold their spot. Since his payments are weekly she may have budgeted that money to pay monthly medical expenses, it may be part of her budget for school supplies or clothes. Taking this week off could potentially cause issues down the line or the mother to fall behind. It may seem like a small amount but she may be living paycheck to paycheck and every penny counts.
He knows this is a reoccurring payment just like his rent and utilities. He should budget to pay this no matter what plans he makes.
If he doesn’t have to pay that is essentially her giving him extra money to take the kids on vacation since it is money owed to her so if she takes the kids on vacation should he pay double that week?
Take him to court and he’ll have to pay is owed. They can make that choice. But if it was court ordered he would still have to pay.
The support is for the kids not you. For 1 week he has to take care of all of their expenses. So it makes sense that he wouldn’t pay support for the week he has them.
Yes he should still pay. Court ordered when they have the kids for a whole month, the child support would still continue.
If he’s manipulating you and making you feel bad just go to court because it’s not worth your mental health they will be the bad guy so you don’t have to.
He shouldn’t have to pay. He supporting the children for that week
No he should not have to pay.
It’s about the children not you.
Absolutely it’s fair for him to not pay you just for that week while HE has them
Sounds like a slippery slope. Next he’ll be adjusting the amount for weekend days he has the kids, etc. Court ordered doesn’t take into account when the kids are and extra day here or there (for our situation anyhow, and we have 50/50 time.with my stepson). Unless the percentage of time spent with one parent adjusts significantly there.isnt a change (i.e. for us unless it goes to 40/60 as a normal they’ll consider custody situation changed and adjust support accordingly.)
If it’s going to cause headache, I’d decide if it’s worth either.forgetting anout it this time or just getting it court ordered for consistency and to just remove any future issues.