If it was a court order and he took them on vacation he would still have to pay his child support
Why should he have to pay for you “ongoing expenses” or the time that the kids are not with you?
You don’t even have court ordered child support and he already maintains his end and gives you money without it being court mandated? Do you know how many single mothers would kill for that? How many men don’t step up and do their part, even when it is ruled by the judge he needs to?
Get it court ordered. He should be providing support no matter what. Those are his kids he’s taking on vacation too. Does he deduct support based on the time he spends with them all the time?
Absolutely he should still have to pay you, if this were court ordered he wouldn’t get to pick and choose when he pays! That’s ridiculous!!
He’s going to have them for a week so he needs that money for that week so no. If you can’t survive that one week without it, then you need to change your situation yourself, not expect him to pay while he has the children.
Depends on what his weekly payment is covering. Sport leagues or recurring expenses related to the kids, he should still pay for but this week of vacation you are saving money on groceries, entertainment, and gas. Give him a week off or a discount because he is spending the money directly on the kids. Enjoy your week away from the kids.
I had court ordered support and he was still required to pay when they were with him on vacation. The lawyer and support judge said support pays for mortgage, car payment etc (everything except adult only items like alcohol) because the house and car are for the kids too.
If they are in his care then absolutely not. He has to pay to take care of them while he has them for the week. It’s not his responsibility to pay your bills. Child support is supposed to be strictly for the children. Just like he has to pay his own rent, bills and live so do you. More just sounds really petty and greedy if you make him pay you child support for a whole week when he will have them the whole time.
Nope, he should pay . The schedule for monies should never be changed around to suit him.
No he doesn’t have to pay support that week. My ex and I have 50/50 for 3 of our 4 kids. Child support calculate how much he has to pay for the 50% they’re in my care. Our other child is with me 100% so they calculate differently for her.
It’s one week and I understand that can have a negative effect on your finances but it’s not fair he pays support as well as everything for vacation. Put yourself in his shoes. Would you be happy to pay?
Yes, he should. If it was court ordered, he would still have to pay you even when he has the children. Taking the kids for a week definitely doesn’t get you out of child support. He should just pay and be glad that you haven’t taken him to court.
Some of these responses are baffling. When you take a vacation, do you get to deduct 7 days from your mortgage or other expenses? He verbally committed to paying child support weekly. He can’t change the rules during the middle of the game.
I would say if he has them For that entire week and it’s not a court order then he shouldn’t have too. The money is for the kids which he is gonna have ALL that week and have to pay for. I would let him Spend the $ on the kids that way and let the kids be happy on their vacation.
No he shouldn’t. Hes going to be paying for them to eat and things like that. Hes spending time with them. Honestly, I feel like child support is for the child not for you to pay your bills. That’s your responsibility. Not his…
Dad kind of sounds like an asshole. Just because he has rent doesn’t mean he should pay less. Kids are expensive and he should put in his equal part in providing for the kids. Just because he takes them on vacation for a week doesn’t mean he should not have to pay child support. Providing basic necessities for children doesn’t stop and it’s ongoing.
“These ongoing expenses”, are they things you’d still be paying for if you didn’t have kids? Rent, utilities, groceries, car expenses….? If so then absolutely not. He isn’t your income. Now if it were things related strictly to the care of the kids like daycare, medical insurance…yes. Be happy their dad wants to take them on vacation and make memories with them. Just because the stay at the beach house is covered it doesn’t mean the food to feed and to keep your children entertained is.
Yes he should still pay. If it was a court order he would have to pay. So what’s the problem?? UGH! They are always trying something to get out of paying!! Tell him you can get a court order if that’s what it takes!
Y’all all keep comparing this to court ordered child support. This isn’t the situation. The kids are not there for that week, he pays by the week. How does it make sense to y’all at all that he should still have to pay for that week that he will have his children and be providing for them during that time? SMH y’all are too damn much.
I’d be grateful he’s taking the children for a week, spending valuable time with them and making memories.
Im sorry but… If one week without your children and the child support wrecks YOUR financial situation that severely, then somethings wrong on YOUR end.
Keep in mind that he agreed to pay you weekly voluntarily. So unless you want actual legal expenses to take him to court (when it seems you need the money even without the kids with you… just sayin), then I’d just leave it be and enjoy your free time.
Nope. He is paying all of their expenses that week. Maybe since he has them for an entire week you should pay him what he pays you for that week.
Horrid when you relied on that little bit of cash and it’s taken away!
Honestly courts are the way forward.
You will not be struggling then.
Good luck
Absolutely. He doesn’t get a break because he’s on vacation. You use that to support your children.
You still have to pay to maintain the home, even if the kids are visiting him.
He should still have to pay no matter what cause the kids are with you full-time. They still need a house to come home to
If it was court ordered he’d have to pay regardless of what the custody or vacation time he has with them…
If you had a court order he’d still have to pay you during his visitation in the summer, holidays, breaks… he should still pay while on vacation. Having them for the week is an added expense on his part, one he’d be responsible for if it was court ordered.
If there was a court order he would be paying child support to the custodial parent. Just because he chooses to take the for 7 days doesn’t get him out of paying a weeks support. Those are visitation rights, not custodial rights.
My experience is if y’all don’t fight and he pays you with no argument or delays on a regular basis, then let him miss the week he has the kids. He may need the money to financially support them while they are in his custody. Figure out how to make it work without that income for the week.
Is this for real? Go to court and get something in writing. Big deal he’s got them for a week. Take the money and bank it. Use it on the kids at a later date. Come on you have them full time and there are expenses. I’m blown away by some of these responses. The fact you haven’t taken legal action blows my mind. It’s manipulative. behavior and I see it all the time!
Well since child support is to support the child, then no he shouldn’t have to pay while he has the kids… Your ongoing expenses is your responsibility not his… Use your money from your job to pay your expenses use the child support that he gives you to support the child… You should probably pay him for the week that he has them, it only makes sense
If it’s not court ordered, he doesn’t have to pay.
Since it’s not court order he will do as he please I. The end but I feel if he has them the week and your not paying for anything like food and what not then he should get to use that weeks money on food for them and activities
I say he should bc it’s monthly bills/expenses in reality. Petty of him tbh. But also I would not even bother saying anything bc if you have to ask, that’s sad. Let him have it if he thinks he needs it more.
He should pay you. If it was court ordered, he would have to pay set amount monthly no matter what.
Yes he should continue to pay child support and likely would have to if you had went through the court because you still have ongoing expenses such as the roof over their heads. I strongly suggest you go through the court now and get the full amount of support that your children are owed by their father
To keep your co parenting relationship amicable, if I where you I’d be saying “please no money this week, spend it on the children and have a great week” That’s who it’s for, yes you have on going expenses; but! that’s on you as a parent an adult to cover them, its one week??. Let the children have a awesome with with their other parent. Co parenting is hard enough, don’t make it harder by looking money hungry. It’s easy to plan around one week. Make it work and be happy for your children who have the best of both of you. Some children don’t have that. It’s about the children.
Based off of my state child support laws, he would still pay even if he has them for the full week. My ex tried to not pay for the week he took them (years ago) when I had them full time. It was through child support enforcement. He supplied receipts for that week, but support enforcement still made him pay for the full week
Take him to court! Get it in writing!
Sounds like you’re a bit jealous he’s on vacation and you’re not. No he shouldn’t have to pay. Anything the kids need he is paying for. Hence the word CHILD support. He doesnt have to pay you for your stuff. He didn’t give birth to you. Get over it girl
We kind of have the same situation with our four kids my ex comes twice a year for a week at a time and gets an Airbnb house to stay with the kids and we don’t do our child support through court we work together and agree on an amount and no way does he ever ask or suggest not paying the child support for those two weeks that he has them out of the entire year… I have rent car payments I still have expenses for the items that provide his children with a way of life. It is wrong for him to try to not pay for that one week.
If u had gone through court for all this then yes he would still be paying support even when on vaca, I personally don’t care if my ex came to me and said hey we r going on vaca and would it be OK if I kept the money this week and spent it on things for our son ? I honestly would be fine with it because he doesnt pay the amount I know I should be getting but I’m not a single mom struggling working two jobs trying to make ends meet anymore. I don’t think ur being unreasonable expecting him to continue paying that week tho.
Just get a lawyer while he’s on vacay and get something in writing. It’s the only way to hold him accountable. This would be my same thoughts if the dad had primary custody. It’s just fair to be equitable with financial support.
Tell him you need the financial aid for the week.
Tell him it is to support you and kids.
Tell him he has the choice to either help support on agreed terms or you will get child support involved.
I would definitely get child support involved if he can’t agree to simple terms.
It sounds like you are letting him off the hook financially already and on top of that letting him off the hook on a parenting plan.
I would get a parenting plan set up. Set petty differences aside when you do and think about what is best for the kids.
If that means dad is out. Fight for that. If it means 50/50 fight for that. If it means dad gets kids for certain holidays and s few SET PLANNED weeks out of the year. Fight for it.
The main purpose of child support, esp if there is a huge income gap between parents… is for both parents being able to provide for the kids, as if they were still together, meaning equally if apart… therefore, the higher income parent usually equals things out with paying child support… and since, now I’m not judging, cuz there are some amazing dads and single dads out there … since most of the time children are with their mother more than 50% of the time, meaning her time available to work may be limited or she may have child care expenses so she can work more or go to school… the fathers support… goes for just that, SUPPORT in anyway the mother sees fit… kids eat ALOT esp growing ones, sports are never cheap, health costs are never cheap, gas isn’t cheap, clothing isn’t cheap, school supplies and activities etc etc, providing your children an actual life, a good life isn’t cheap… notice how I didn’t say anything about utilities or rent… that’s all ontop of the bare necessities… the courts or parents, know their incomes and what goes out, that’s why and how they can set an amount as to what the other is owed to make up for the income gap and added expenses for having the children more… some of you are jaded, judgemental and cruel, she was asking a pretty simple question… obviously they were able to settle without going to court, that’s commendable… and obviously, if he can afford a vacation, he can afford to pay his child support that week as well… since he really only has them once a week. Some parents can only win their children’s hearts by buying them, while the actual parent has their hearts by just being a parent… so piss off with your nasty comments and throwing your personal baggage and hate out there… she didn’t do nothing to you, your dead beat baby dad did, not her fault she found one that kinda steps up. Take your anger out on the rightful person, not this mama.
Mine don’t pay support cause it’s 50/50 and I personally think when you have the kids you’re responsible for them so when he has them he shouldn’t pay you for that week . But that’s just my thoughts.
Let it go. I cringe when moms or dads are petty over child support. I think it needs to be abolished. If you can’t afford taking care of your kids then let the other parent have them fulltime. The courts and child support is a joke.
Be glad he’s in their lives and on vacay with them.
Yes. Child support doesn’t stop for a week. I would probably make an agreement since he is taking them and caring for them and probably agree he doesn’t have to pay for that week but then again the things you also pay for the kids through that month don’t stop just because they aren’t there for a week. So I see both sides of it really
Honestly go to court he could just no pay you from here on out if he wanted. Go to court or get Dhhs involved please
Yes, will he pay extra when u take them on a vacation??? Doubtful. Just cause he chooses vacation, obligations remain. My internet company doesn’t stop charging me if I don’t use it for a week.
The support should be going toward children’s expenses including housing them, their cable, etc. Essentially child support is to cover the children’s necessities.
The best comparison to me if that if I go on vacation I still have to pay rent, utilities, etc.
If it was court ordered he would still pay. Also… side note… I would go thru the courts to make everything official. That would protect both of you. Technically you could come up 5 years later and say he never paid you and unless he kept receipts or paid electronically he could be responsible for back support (depending on what legal documentation you have in place).
Child support is for the CHILD. Not your personal expenses. You won’t have the kids for a whole week so I’m sure you can figure it out like an adult.
He’s right though, I know you don’t want to hear it but, can’t lie, That money is to cover kids expenses
Yes, you need to maintain their basic necessities, such as housing and electric.
No, he shouldn’t. If it’s something you absolutely need then i would suggest taking him to court to get a set amount on a set schedule.
However, the children are in HIS care & he shouldn’t be obligated to pay for care.
Your “expenses” aren’t his UNLESS it’s something for the kids (ex. agreed on splitting gymnastics, daycare, etc.) that is avoidable.
Hope you figure it all out, no one knows your situation but yourself! Follow your gut!
Money grubbing!!! He’s got these kids all week, he’s feeding them and spending his money on them, you just want his money!! Support isn’t for you, it’s for the children if you have ongoing bills, get another job!!!
If ur ongoing expenses have nothing to do with the kids, then no. He shouldn’t have to pay. If they do, then sure. He not paying alimony and he’s not responsible for anything else except those kids. U should be giving him props for stepping up and voluntarily paying child support instead of just bouncing.
Can he still pay you then give receipts for food and other expenses so you can pay him back or just agree on a total for the amount he needs to feed and care for them that week? I guess that’s what I’d do if money was tight. You’ve got ongoing expenses for the kids, but he is probably needing some additional funds for their care on vacation. At least I think this would be a good compromise.
In BC if there IS an order, it’s each parents income and the higher earning parent pays the difference. Voluntary that’s something that you two agreed upon so either he’s going to fight you or agree to keep paying but regularly child support doesn’t stop just because the parents take them for a week
No, he shouldn’t have to pay.
Who knows,one day you may use some of the money he’s giving you for your kids to take Them on Vacation or little luxuries for yourself.
And don’t be upset if he doesn’t pay for 7 days, don’t be a negative Nancy when your kids Do come home telling you how much Fun they had with thier Father.
It’s not about you, him it’s about kids bonding with their Dad. IMO
No he shouldn’t. He pays child support to help provide for the children - now he has the children and needs to provide for them. Your ongoing expenses are not his problem. Just be happy he pays at all.
No not for that week only. Your own expenses are your responsibility. He’s providing everything your kids need for that one week. Now if they were monthly payments, then yes the payments shouldn’t stop just because they’re on Vacation with him for one week.
If you had a court order then he technically still would be paying. But since you don’t it’s whatever you all agree upon.
So he pays you money weekly to help take care of your kids you have together but you still want him to pay when he has the kids… girl your fucking greedy get outta here with your bullshit
Child support is what standard the kids would have if mom and dad were still together. It is based on your income - not visitation. Visitation is already factored in. So yes, technically, he would still have to pay if you were going through a court. If he doesn’t pay, let this be your wake up call to get it into court because if he gets away with it this time, he will do it again for any other reason he comes up with.
Yes he should still pay!! Supporting a child Is an every day expense for both parents he is not paying enough weekly to cover the total expenses and you still cover your share full time! Child support is NOT TO GIVE THE KIDS WHAT THEY WANT IT TO PROVIDE WHAT THEY NEED!!
Well child support is for the child only not rent not electric bills not water bills no bills whatsoever that money is solely for the child such as clothes and food so if u don’t got the kids that week I see where he’s coming from on not wanting to pay u cause he’s got the kids that week and u don’t he’s got a point there and wow u know why should he still b paying for u he’s not with u anymore u got a lot of growing up to do lady
Children are not paychecks…. I get it they are expensive and it takes ideally two people chipping in to help those children grow up in a stable home with food on the table… however this post sounds petty as all get out. That is less groceries you have to buy. The electricity bill will be lower etc… let that man take those kids on vacation… pay your bills and enjoy the peace and quiet. Also… he “guilt tripped you” bc he has to live as well… yeah … he does. It is hard for any one person to survive on their own especially when you are just getting started. He has to maintain a stable environment to get his kids correct?
No I don’t see why he would especially if he is taking them away for a week
I mean, you guys should just have a set amount for the month. It shouldn’t matter if he has them for a week, if it was through court, the court wouldn’t just change it for that month. I hate the whole child support thing and receiving money from my kids’ dad, but in a court situation that would never change because he has them for a week.
Idk, but I’ve heard of cases where the mother had to pay the father support for the time he had the children for an extended period of time, and he paid her the rest of the time… Because support is supposed to be paid to whoever has the children. I’d say he has to pay her for the rest of the month however not the week he has them independently as he will need to cover their needs that week.
Yes he should. Life doesn’t stop just for a week. If you’re the main parent who has them pretty much always than you need the CS for food, clothing, and yes for the house they live under. Anyone saying he doesn’t I’m assuming doesn’t know how it would be if you took him to court. I do suggest going to court for a set agreement so you don’t even have to worry about these things or have to fight about it. He’s getting off extremely easy and you’re being very nice. But no this isn’t about him or you honestly. It’s the kids which yea he has to give support for
Pretty sure I still pay bills when I take my own kids on vacation, the agreed upon amount pays bills that support the children even if they’re not in the home for a few days. Monthly amount is monthly amount. Weekly is to break it up, not to be on a play it by ear basis. If you guys sit down and he agrees to take the kids more, maybe you guys can modify the agreement down the road, but if you based ongoing expenses on the agreed upon amount, that shouldn’t change. If it’s an issue, file through the court system.
My opinion is he shouldn’t have to, not even gonna defend why and I was a single mom for a long time. I get why you want him to but in MY OPINION he shouldn’t have to when you don’t have them
So you felt bad and are letting him pay less so he could afford to live and now he can afford a whole vacation. You need to get that in court. Also, I went thru this and actually took him to court for the cs in the summer when he had him for a month. Judge ruled in my favor and said that I still have to maintain a home for the kids to come back to and he still had to pay cs.
You won’t have the kids for that week there for you will have extra money because you won’t be providing food or anything for them that week my opinion is he shouldn’t have to pay you he’s taking them on for a week and paying for them however if you had it set up with the courts he’d have to pay it no matter what no offense but it’s your own fault for not setting it up with the court you wouldn’t even have this issue
Also wouldn’t you want your kids to have the best time possible with their dad stop trying to take his money and let him make the most out of the week with them
… child support goes off what the person makes. NOT DAYS. Get a court order and just do actual child support. Cause he doesn’t have to pay you at all if he doesn’t want to.
Yes he should still pay. If this was court ordered, you bet his ass he’s still paying. Just because you don’t have the kids for a week, don’t mean crap bills still need to be paid regardless.
Take my advice and put him on child support Asap! He will make a court order monthly payment and if he wants to take them for a vacation so be it but you will still get your child support! Don’t feel sorry for him ! The pitty party starts now!!!
I think since this is not a reoccurring thing and he will be taking care of the kids for the week I would just let it go. To me it would not be worth making a fuss over. You have no court agreement (which isnt smart) tick him off and he might not pay again till you go to court. I am not in anyway saying thats ok but that’s the chance you take when you make your own agreements.
No considering all their expenses and care for that week will be on him. Paying you support that week takes away from them and their expireces with him on vacation. He voluntarily pays ever week without a court order and that says alot to him as a person and father. Most men would never. Hes taking the kids for the whole week lifting alot of financial burn from you. Like food and transportation costs. And childcare expinces if you have a sitter to work. Hes going to be feeding them and taking them everywhere. I’ve done the single mom thing. Every cent matters yes. But if it didnt come I always had a back up.
Yes and go get the order if their was an order he would but their isn’t one so technically he will probably not be held responsible!!!
If she had gone to court, he would be paying that week. But really this is goofy if he wants to keep his money let him. But I would definitely file for a grant for lawyer fees and take him to court and get the correct amount and make it a monthly payment.
If it was court ordered then yes he would but anything not through the court is considered a gift so technically he doesn’t have to pay you a dime. I’d say if you’re that worried about it then take him to court.
Sounds like he’s trying to be a good dude why are you being such a triffleing person SO PETTY SO WEAK ,shit mf stepped up without an order ( props to you for letting him pay bills and buy food too ) and if he’s a loser blah blah blah ,why you let him cum in you I don’t understand women these days ! My wife got preggo our second - third date we’ve been together ever since idk how y’all can do this shit to kids
Of course he should still pay and he should be greatful he can decide when and if he is going to pick his kids up. You don’t have that luxury. You’ve already done him a favor by not going through the courts. Tell him to stop trying to get over.
How often does he have the kids? I 100% think child support is for absent fathers, not co parenting parents. If he has the kids often, who’s helping him pay his bills?
No he shouldn’t. Child support is for the child…, you don’t have them for the week. Child support is to help feed, clothes, etc. the rent & utilities yeah I guess he can help with partial but just like he has to pay his own so should you. Also, even if he’s staying at his “mothers beach house” he still had expenses for gas, food & any other thing they’re doing during the vacation.
No, he shouldn’t have to pay you that week. At least he pays something And is involved in the kids’ lives! Some people are dependent on child support and that’s not a paycheck. I get that you have extra expenses sometimes with the kids and the bills don’t stop just bc they’re gone a week but if they’re with him for a week, then he will have extra expenses. Even if it’s a free house on vacation. There’s still food and things they’ll need while they’re with him.
Honestly I can see both sides to it, but really it depends on if you have sole custody or not, and all that. I would take him to court, just so that there is less drama, less chaos. If he can’t find a lawyer or pay up, he shouldn’t have been sticking his dick where it don’t belong.
That money is for the children. You shouldn’t lump it into the amount you depend on to pay bills. Yes I get that rent goes towards children’s expenses, as does electric and such, but if he has them that whole week he is incorporating their expenses for that week not you. So food, snacks, their wants and needs are on him that week. If he had them the entire month during summer break would you still expect him to pay? Stop being petty and pinching pennies out of the man who is doing for his kids.
I would let the week go personally and just be grateful he’s taking the kids away. Especially since you don’t have a court order. I think that’s reasonable. One of my children is in my care full time, with his dad getting him every other weekend. So he pays support. BUT during the Summer when he’s out of school we do every other week. So we agreed that for those 2 months he won’t owe me support. It’s 50/50 and to me I don’t think he should have to pay me when it’s split.
This is exactly why you should have a court order for child support. When child support is determined, it takes into consideration how often the child(ren) are with the custodial vs. non-custodial parent. So if the court order states the non-custodial parent gets the child(ren) every other weekend and during school breaks, the amount that person pays in child support is considering time spent with them. So they would still pay the same amount regardless if they have them for two months. At least in the state of Georgia.
I’ve always had the mindset (tough courts disagree) that both parents are responsible for the daily expenses of a child, such as food, rent, electric etc. Its not the father (or mother’s) job to pay those bills for the other parents. If that were the case child support would be calculated on a daily rate- and that daily rate would be subtracted the days the other parent has the child. It’s OUR responsibility to make sure our children’s needs are met- with or without child support. If your relying on support to maintain those bill, you need to evaluate expenses. What if he stops working, gets injured, or worse! You’ll still need to maintain those bills. So you shouldn’t count on support for that. If it were me, I’d let him keep it that week- my children are getting an experience I can’t give them…let him use the money for that benefit, and count your blessings you get any money at all.
He needs to pay child support regardless! He have them the majority of the time. That’s his decision to take them. If you were on vacation with kids he would still have to pay. If he doesn’t like it tell you you will take him back to court and have it put in the papers. You can do that!
My boyfriends court ordered support states that during the time his child is with him he only has to pay half of the support for that time.
But yours isn’t court ordered. If you are insisting on him paying for them all the time get it court ordered. But don’t be surprised when on summer and winter breaks that he has the kids if you only get half the amount ordered.
Be glad that he is paying whatever he pays without an order. And be glad that he wants to be in their life.
Yes
Volunteering to pay is no different than a court ordered amount. Just because there is no paperwork doesn’t mean he can pick and choose what weeks to pay for.
Sit down with him and figure a yearly amount he is going to pay and divide that amount months.
All these women on here saying he shouldn’t have to pay blows my mind! Just because he takes them for 1 week doesn’t mean she doesn’t still have to pay the bills for that week. This is just crazy. He should definitely have to pay every week regardless of where the children are if they are living with her full time. The kids need a home and electric and food to come home too
Yup he should, my ex and I have a court agreement but I’m Lenient as he’s had a rough go getting his life in order. He takes his son every other weekend and most months he doesn’t pay. My current bf pays more for him then he does.
If he took him for a week absolutely I’d add it to his tab. Considering how understanding I’ve been but also I could not only make him pay but make him pay a shit ton more. So he best be on his best behaviour and comply with what I ask.
Yes he should pay it in my opinion. If this was court ordered they would also expect him to still pay it. Children are expensive and if he’s already not paying her that much money each week, that money only contributes a FRACTION of the portion she must put out to support the children…!!!
That would be more money he can spend on kids while holidaying…do you just rely on his payment? Tricky question hun, but I’d give him the week off…I mean surely you knew the holiday was coming up…