Should my ex still have to pay child support for the 7 days he takes my kids on vacation?

Depending on what state you are in… here in MI when the non custodial parent has the kids for 7 consecutive nights, the support stops for that week. Look into your states laws just to be fair

Your ex should be paying support through the system. No excuses. If everyone has to do it, so should he. Most court systems go by income, anyway. Don’t be afraid to play this one by the book. Actually, you SHOULD play this one by the book.

I’ve debated this back and forth in the comments but I wanted to give you, the original poster, an actual answer that has nothing to do with the comments. Because it is only a verbal agreement, he is well within his rights to do that. It may feel unfair but it is legal. My recommendation to you would to ask him to sit down for a parental agreement mediation. During that you would both be able to go back and forth in front of a neutral third party on what you think is fair for visitation and for child support. You can put allowances in there for if he can’t take them one weekend or if there are unexpected expenses. You would be able to put in there what happens on extended vacations and who is responsible for long-distance transportation. And this is the biggest one, what happens if one parent wants to move with the children. It’s something most parents don’t ever think about and I’ve known people where it’s come back to bite them in the ass. It’s not cheap but it’s way better than the other options. And it sets everything in law. I highly recommend it. I’m sorry if you’re going through financial strain because of this. All I can say is that you want the hope that this means he’s trying to build a stronger relationship with his children… If you want further information on what I was trying to tell you, please message me.

There’s no court order. There should always be a court order to mitigate these issues from coming up. Honestly, how much is 7 days of child support? Let him spend it on the kids. It is for them anyways. This is just my opinion.

I don’t think he should pay for that week as he will have a week of expenses. Be fair mama.

Child support is reimbursement for you paying for the child. If that’s paying rent or buying cloths/food. If the agreement is weekly it should continue weekly. Whether child is with you or not

Yes, because in that week the bills that keep their home for that week he’s got them, still are due. This is why spoken agreements between ex’s is BS🙄, but y’all never learn, there is a reason they are an ex, in most cases it was how untrustworthy they were, but everybody swears these little agreements are gonna fly. Now if he kept them 1 wk a month or… Then yes, but because yo butt came right for one wk, no. I’d say, go through the court so there is never a you’re making the wrong decision or he’s trying to take advantage. Where he is going is not the point, how much it’s costing him is also not the point, in the case everything could be 100% free that’s not your business, that shouldn’t be why he owes you, that’s also not how child support works🙄. I don’t collect, but there is nothing wrong with expecting the father to pay for… If the full time parent needs it, or wants him to as well. Go through court, that way no one is taking advantage. Also if your insurance covers them, if they were to get hurt that’s what he’d be using, because he has them doesn’t mean he will pay everything out if pocket cause they are with him. Because the owed after insurance pays is easier to take care of or… I see no person gonna say, no I got them this week so I pay the $1000s of dollars a medical emergency will cost

Get support order in writing and yes, he pays 52 weeks a year. No exceptions.

Don’t be a dick. He pays you 51 other weeks a year and you don’t have to chase him. And you say when he takes MY kids on vacation… are they not HIS as well?

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He has the kids that week so no I don’t think he should have to pay…although if it was court order he would still be paying…so maybe see if he will compromise and pay you half of it

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He got the kids for a week why you upset about money?just enjoy the time you got and if it’s that much of a bother go make the money you missed out on … your saying you should get money Well if he’s got them for the week shouldn’t you pay a weeks child maintenance to him in that case?

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Just let him off. He is spending time with his kids which is more important than money. Let this one go!!

My hubby pays cs even when he gets his kids for the whole summer. It doesn’t stop just bc he has them.

I believe child support is for the care of the child/children. So if he has his the children in HIS care for a week paying for what they need and all other expenses related to them then no, I don’t think he should have to pay for that week at all. However, if he was on court ordered child support he’d have to pay regardless. I think that’s where some ppl get confused… it’s bc court ordered child support does not factor in vacations at the time it’s allocated. So if he’s paying u directly then it’s up to u as a mother to have an understanding about how child support goes and determine when he should pay and when he shouldn’t have to

Prolly an unpopular opinion but I don’t believe if he is paying weekly and he has the child(ren) for a week that support should be paid. If he has child that week then he is paying to care for said child during that time. shouldn’t have to pay to take care of them while he has them and pay you when they aren’t even with you during that time.

No he shouldn’t pay while on vacation. You don’t have them and it was not through a court.

The week we had the kids, my husband would pay half because his ex still had rent, utilities, etc. To pay but we had more expense the week we had them so we agreed to half. If you two are working together and he is good about paying you then sit down and discuss it. Everything doesn’t have to be done through the court of parents can sit down and discuss arrangments

He has the kids for a week out of the year come on now he should still pay, yes he should still pay because she’s obligated to still pay bill for that week. It’s like saying I’m not paying you for 1 night because I’ve got the kids no it’s all wrong. He should still pay. Period

Pick your battles. You don’t need things to turn ugly when y’all had a verbal agreement. Just let him keep that weeks money so he can use it on the kids and their fun. Either way it’s going to the kids . Pick your battles .

Get it court ordered!..get the correct amount every week case closed!..there are no breaks in child support if he decides to take them on vacation for 7 days thru court ordered childsupport!..vacations is a luxury and not a necessity! If he can afford vacation he can afford to pay his child support!..bills don’t stop for those 7 days they are away!!..the responses on here are ridiculous, he already not paying the correct amount (less then he should) and people expect for you to give him another discount because he decides to spend time with his children on a vacation!!!that is what a parent suppose to do and still make sure the children primary home, needs and expenses are still being met! Get the support thru court and eliminate the bs!stop feeling sorry for a person who is getting over on you and your children by not contributing his fair share in supporting his children!

I wouldn’t stress myself over it. You said it yourself that the agreement is 100% voluntary and you also said that he doesn’t pay you a lot for the kids.
Now that you know that he won’t pay when he has his kids, save up for next vacation.

I agree with him. Child support is for the kids. If he has them, he is paying their expenses.

Uhhh then take him to court for court ordered support and be done with it. If there is no cour order, you’re lucky he’s even paying at all, some dudes never pay a penny bc of verbal agreements.

If he were court ordered he would be required to pay it as part of his monthly requirement and he would be obligated to take them two full weeks in the summer w…while still paying it … it considered part of his catch up time as being the non custodial parent …

My court ordered support was always adjusted and reduced for when the kids were on extended visitation. As should be expected.

lmfaooo what?! why would he pay child support to YOU on days that HE has the kids? where is the logic in that? the reason he pays child support is because you have the kids the majority of the time, yes? and he needs to help with that. but why would he pay you when he is going to have the kids? child support isn’t for your “ongoing expenses” :roll_eyes: it’s for your kids. you won’t have them that week so what do you need child support for?

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I have a child support order and the father gets credit and doesn’t have to pay support for the days he has them. He shouldn’t have to pay for that week

No he shouldn’t have to pay . He most likely has ongoing bills too!

You’re ongoing expenses are not his problem! If he has the kids he shouldn’t have to pay you. You only should get paid when you have them.

I don’t think he should have to pay… He’s taking care of them while they are with him. :woman_shrugging:

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Didn’t read anything. No response to previous comments. I Have a degree in Economics and a JD (law degree). Yes. He should pay. Game of averages. If you have full time custody you are paying wayyyyyyyy more than you should generally. He should pay what the court orders every week. Regardless of where the child is for a week/small period of time. The money is to support child but can also backfill all you have done. People will likely respond from gut… Not the law. Not right. If he were taking kid 20 weeks a year… Different conversation.

I mean he does still have to pay rent and eat so I don’t see how that’s manipulative but if it were court ordered he would still have to pay because the court would take into account how many days he keeps the kids and deduct that from the amount he is supposed to pay before giving an order. If you can afford to not have that one weeks money then don’t take it but legally he is responsible

Nope when my son goes on holiday with his dad and stepmum I don’t ask for maintenance that week? I feel it’s unfair due to he isn’t home so no I transferred money back.

My ex husband and I have the same type of agreement. He’s taking the kid’s for 26 days and I told him to keep the child support for the month so he can enjoy his time with the kid’s. I think it’s fair

Wouldn’t you rather that money go too your kids while they are on vacation? So maybe he can take them to do something? Idk, I think your being petty. I’d rather my kids have an experience… they won’t be eating food at your house for a week, won’t be using lights, water exc… sooooo YOU pay your bills

Well he pays support for the previous month ! That means you pay out looking after them and keeping him and the next month he then pays you back his part!! And yes he Damn well still should be paying !! If he were having the child for a week so YOU could take time away for a weeks holiday on your own then yes he should hold that money back but not because he wants to take the child away! You take the child away and still have to pay normal bills plus extra!

I feel like what’s fair is fair and perhaps he should deposit the regular weekly payment and it would be civilized if you’d give him maybe 60% if you don’t want to loose any? I feel like I would let him have all that weeks payment back but every person has their perspective on this situation. If he’d give me a bad attitude when he demands it then I’d explain to him I don’t have to but I will.

He’s paying you on time and voluntary? I wouldn’t rock the boat, he could argue that you should pay child support for the week he’s got them if you get petty

I personally don’t think he should…the children will be with him…
And it’s not court ordered…

I don’t know how much less you could get from the court. Plus they a whole mess. Look it up. It is emotionally tough to pay all the bills and raise them and have Dad take them on vacation. Just wow. Maybe yall should revisit your agreement and determine if this still works or if adjustments should be made. Idk

Take him to court and get court ordered support and then there’s no question about it! But my answer is, he should still pay you. You pay electricity, water, mortgage, food, etc for your and his kids. Those things are still due! The children still have to have necessities and housing when vacay is over.

1st of all you should take him for court ordered child support. Second of all, yes he should still pay. Do you ever get a break from paying for your children? No! Neither should he.

uh yes. we have my husbands oldest daughter all summer, so like 3 months. he still pays child support those months. i once had it described to me as child support being the non custodial parents “half” of what they would have to cover if you guys were together

There’s no need to always fret over money, enjoy your week, let the kids enjoy theirs with their dad. Teach your kids love is more important to you then a weeks money. All the “lawyers” on here are more interested in $ & making their ex suffer. Just worry more about your kids happiness, compassion & morals. Greedy exes have the same morals as the greediest & sleaziest exes. Let the week go imo.

No. If it was court ordered it would go by the amount of nights each have. If it were equal then no support would be awarded.
Kids are with him overnight. No child support because he is supporting them that week, not you.

So if it were a daycare he would have to still pay their tuition for that week. However, I don’t think if it were me I would have him pay for a time when I wasn’t caring for the children. If it bothers you, get a court order

Maybe give him a break in the child support that week, I think he’s suppose to be paying for the child not for your ongoing bills. I work and never rely on any man to pay my bills even when I have kids with them… maybe him not having to pay for that week can actually bring him around more…

He needs money too so he can also do things with his child while he has him in care.

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If it were court ordered, he would pay regardless…

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I would hold him to it for that week. If it was court ordered he’d still have to pay even though he wanted to go on vacation. Also, he might start saying, “you didn’t make me pay it that one week”. I was lucky to even get my court ordered c/s :roll_eyes::woman_facepalming:.

With no order, he doesn’t have to pay anything so, personally, I’d let one week slide and start looking into family attorneys so there is a permanent order in place

Go to court. Trying to do it out of court makes things like this happen. They’re just petty and stupid. Not calling anyone stupid. Just the fight about should he or shouldn’t he. Court papers take care of the whole thing.

No he shouldn’t if he’s paying weekly ! He will have the kids for that 7 day period and the money will be used for them on vacation

It is really up to him since you don’t have a court order

If not getting 1 weeks child support is a make it or break it situation than I would reconsider my job or my spending. If he where to loose his job what would you do to survive? What would you an the kid’s go without? I’m not trying to be an ass about it. I’m being serious. I had court ordered child support when I divorced. He never paid always had an excuse. None the less I just worked harder to provide for our child. I gave up fighting for child support after 7yrs an just did it all on my own. Made my life easier to be honest less stress over is he going to pay or not. Never build your life around a payment you might not get. Live as if you don’t get it already. Be happy he is taking the kids for a week and giving you a break I’m sure you deserve and need. It’s 1 week not 7 year’s of non payment. When my child went to his dad’s for Vacation I would order everything my son needed an had it sent to my ex husband’s house. I didn’t care that it cost me for him to spend time with his dad. Now my ex husband was murdered on December 15th 8 days before our son turned 15. I am glad I made the choices I did so he was able to spend time with his dad. We never know when our last day might be. Don’t live being bitter it’s not worth it. Good luck

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I would honestly let him keep the money for that week to spend on the kids. Or ask it be given to the kids directly if they are old enough for spending money on the vacation

If it was court order it would still be paid. There’s no circumstantial situations with court ordered child support… so yea he should pay. This is why women end up going to court for it in the first place.

I’d say no, as it is presumed the week he has his kids he is handling food and misc. Expenses… If you equally coparented and he had kids half the time you did, he’d either be obligated to pay support for weeks he didn’t have his kids or not at all…

Let’s be serious for a minute he pays you without having a court order and he’s taking your kid on a vacation. If you can’t go a week without a couple bucks then I’d have to say it looks like he’s taking them on a vacation that you would not be able to afford so let your kid enjoy that. And if you did go to court and what happens if he quits his job? He’s ordered to pay you $50 a month, he doesn’t pay that for 10 months goes into court for back child support and says I can put $50 down, pays $50 and goes home. So what now? He gives you money voluntarily without having to go through the court system, he’s involved in their life.

If you had a legally binding agreement, it would be based off of the percentage that you have them. If you legally had them full-time, and he got to take them on vacation a few times during the year, he would legally still be required to pay child support. I mean think about it from a common sense approach… If every time you let him have the kids he doesn’t pay you child support… That puts you in a bind. That would mean you are basically saying not only does he get to take the kids he also gets to take money out of your pocket. I didn’t read the whole post so I’m not exactly sure why you haven’t taken him to court but …I I would suggest you go to the court and at least have it on record that he’s supposed to pay child support… I’ve only seen a few comments on this, and I’m amazed that anyone would say that he’s not required to pay you child support. Unless he pays you lots and lots and lots of money, more than his share if he were to be under legal guidelines… I do not see why did get to not give you funds

I don’t think child support shud even be a thing… 50/50 parenting shud be the norm and no exchange of money shud be needed from parent to parent…

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Sometimes you really do need to do things the legal way to provide for your children and keep your sanity.

As you stated your expenses not your kids so no he is in the right he will have them a week so that week why should he pay you child care when you don’t have them

I feel this!! I have my kids 100% of the time. My ex pays 700.00 a month only. The judge made us split the kids. He collects taxes on 1 kid, I do the other. He collects all the stimulus’s for one kid, even though he broke every rule on taking my son. But takes his money. I have them 100%. It’s very unfair while he has cars, a nice house and I have no car and live in a hotel. :face_with_symbols_over_mouth::rage:

That’s why it needs to be court ordered. Yo avoid these one off situations. I’m sorry he manipulated you into feeling sorry for him. Doesn’t sound like he’ll suffer financially if he doesn’t pay you for the week.

In my opinion I wouldn’t feel bad he has children to support I had an agreement like that with my ex and he would give me 100-200 a month cuz and sometimes would buy groceries and he would only see them 2 times a week for 3 hrs the rest of the time it was always me the one who would have them I finally got fed up cuz he started paying every other month 200 so I file for child support and according to him he was giving me more than what child support would give me so when I file and we went to court and started docking his checks to pay for support I ended up getting close to 1000 a month cuz he makes good money got mad and all but I don’t think it was fair and he started being a a** so why care if he wouldn’t care id say you just file and stop dealing with him

If it was court ordered, he would have to pay regardless if he kept them that week or not

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This is why court ordered child support would be a good idea. If there’s no order he can stop paying whenever he pleases. I personally would tell my daughters father to spend it on her but her father has never taken her anywhere so I’ve never dealt with this.

That is 7 days that you don’t have to pay for day care, 7 days that you can turn off the lights, save on electricity and not buy as many groceries.

How would you feel if you had your kids and had to pay for them during that time?
Would you wanna feel like you have to pay to see your kids? Child support yes, however if you only have a verbal agreement, then I agree you should not make him pay, if it was on paper there is nothing he you two could do about it.
So no he should not have to pay you while he has them that week, as he could be supporting them while they are there with him with that money’s be making sure they are having a great time.

You tell him that vacation is an expense for himself with the kids that there is a set agreement and the kids and you have bills and expenses that do not stop just because he has vacation with them. The household your children reside in has to stay maintained aswell and its not ok for him to do that.

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If he’s paying weekly, then no. Bc he will be putting that weeks money towards feeding them, clothes, transportation ect. It’d be different if he was paying monthly

There is a ton to unpack.
Child support enforcement takes out all of the BS. The courts will take it out of his check. You can’t manipulate and he can’t BUT he can constantly quit jobs making it impossible to collect. If you are on public assistance, it will all be adjusted to add his child support into the income. It’s added in as income regardless of how much is or isn’t paid.
My child support was set up year round which added up the amount that I had the kids. His payments were less monthly with us doing this.
These are memories with his kids. You won’t have the kids so work OT :woman_shrugging:. That’s a week of not feeding them, no childcare, not washing clothes, etc. If him not paying that week will cause the lights to be cut off, have that discussion with him. At the end of the day it’s what’s best for the kids and what you both can compromise on FOR the kids. If you’ll can’t do it then let the courts put everything in black n white for you’ll.

I paid all of my bills 3 months ahead with taxes when I was a single mom and used coupons all year.

I let my ex pay me when he could for the past 14 years! … That’s amounted to maybe 2k he hasn’t seen our son in 11 years I Finally decided last month enough of this pay when u can shit! Provide everything and he can’t manage to even call his son when a new piece of ass comes along! In my opinion I think Court order is best! I should have done this a Lonnng time ago! So I think that’s the best idea moving forward!

Just put him on child support and be done with it. Or ask if he would like to do equal joint custody.

Just go to court, it makes things so much easier. The older they get the more issues you will have

Now you know about legal agreements, not two individuals trying to out due each other without legal assistance.

You should I get a court order for support. Child support with no legal documentation rarely goes well. Then it’s a monthly thing regardless of who’s going where for a random few days

Why pay for the week when he has them . He will probably spend more on them then what he gives you

if he has the child for a whole week i dont see why youd expect him to pay…let him spend that money giving the child a nice holiday

He should still pay but if it was me I wouldn’t make him pay cause he can use that money on the kids and do lots more fun things on vacation.

Tell him there are another 51 weeks in the year if he cares to care for his kids longer than 24 hours :joy:
I’d let him off this once and cut my loses because he probably won’t do it again :sweat_smile:

Ok, two things here. First, in my court ordered support, my ex paid half what he would normally. You’re not feeding them, he is. Second, if you feel like you were manipulated into a smaller payment and you are unhappy, take him to court. Not being able to do without a week of support is not good. I understand most people are budgeted to what is coming in, but your food budget should be less that week.

Yes because in court eyes don’t matter if the other parent have the child or children for a week or weekend they will still have that parent still pay

I would say no. I have no kids so I’m saying it from a purely logical perspective so keep that in mind.

Look I’d normally be like no. But if your paying childcare while he’s got the kids then YES! Make him pay!

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No. He should use that money to pay for fun things for him to do with the babies! Plus there will be additional food costs too. Let him have the week and keep his money!

You agreed to a voluntary agreement… so I really don’t think he should pay for the week he has them. Being on good terms with your baby dad is important. He already pays support which is not easy on a man. Imagine if it were the other way around.

Nope don’t think he should pay for that week, I raised my daughter without any child support, if you think he should pay every week and more money, go back to court and have everything in writing. Because right now he could just stop paying and there would be nothing you could do until you did go to court.

If this is the case I believe he shouldn’t have to pay you for that week because that money will be going to them during that week of the vacation (make that a rule with him say you don’t have to pay me but make sure they have a good time )

Some of these comments are ridiculous. Most moms have their children 24/7 except 2 weekends a month. Kids of every age are expensive AF. School, daycare, food, activities, etc. most moms do it alllll…except 2 weekends a month.

He should definitely still pay you that week. It’s based on a monthly amount. It doesn’t change because he takes them on vacation :roll_eyes:Do you ask him for extra money when you take them on vacation? Probably not.

He has to follow the court orders. You can always give it back to him when he has the kids for the week. There is nothing stopping you from that.

No he shouldn’t have to pay the week he has them. Child support is to support the child. And he is supporting them that week.

Ok hear me out…. Daycare/after school care makes you pay even if they aren’t there for the week. Groceries have to be bought even if you go to the shore shopping for them when he has the kids, kids need clothes even if when you choose to go shopping is when he has them, summer camps have deadlines to sign up for and pay by. Nobody knows any of the things this mama has going on and things could have been planed out and available to do based on the support from dad.

It’s called CHILD support. He has the CHILDREN for a week so no.
Quit being petty n woman up n pay your own bills. :woman_facepalming:t2: my child’s father and I are together, but live separately. I don’t ask him to pay my rent or any expenses for the things my son has at my apartment.
I buy my diapers for him with my own money, any clothes, toys, etc.
This is literally the stupidest post ever
Also it being court ordered doesn’t automatically mean he will be paying more.
My bf has child support at $400 for TWO kids.
Just be grateful you even get anything bc I have many friends who don’t get a CENT a month and they make ends meet by working as they should and as you should.

We used to pay for an entire summer and the child was left at his moms house. She would get child support and say she didn’t have the money for gas to pick her child up. You should be happy he’s getting the child. One week of support will not matter.

I’d say no, allow him to spend money on the kids while they are with him… I feel it is the right thing to do

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If it was court ordered , He would still have to pay . If CS is court ordered , visitation would also be court ordered . Fathers (in my state) are allowed 4 non consecutive weeks extra during the year . The child support doesn’t change the month they decide to take their week :woman_shrugging:t4:

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Parents that want to be part of there kids life should be 50/50 . Atleast he wants to be with his kids.:woman_shrugging: why not let him keep that extra to spend on his kids why he has them thats what it’s ment for.

What is morally right? Be fair. Especially if he’s kept up his end. It’s not about you, it’s about the kids relationship with the other parent. He didn’t manipulate you. Do you work? If not, get a job. Do what’s right for your kids .

The way I see it is, why does he have to help you but obviously you can’t help him? He takes the children on his days, which he pays for, I’m assuming you don’t help when he has the kids at his house, but you expect help for the children being with you. You keep up your half, he keeps up his. I understand you have ongoing bills, does he not? I mean honestly, put the shoe on the other foot. I don’t think he should have to pay for that week, because, that’s a week without children running up the light bill, water, one more week of conserving groceries since no children will be there to eat for a week, one week of you not having to lug the children around as well. He’s giving you a break, you should give him one too.