A toddler should be sleeping in their own bed. Your husband needs his sleep to provide for his family and You need your sleep too.
define age of said toddler. No, shouldn’t be sleeping in the same bed as the parents…maybe in the same room but not the bed. After 4 kids I learned something, sleeping with a sippy cup (especially) or a bottle will cause ear problems. The baby won’t fully swallow and the fluid backs up into the eustacion (sp) tube causing issues. If the child isn’t sleeping through the night, it’s probably time to start mixing a small amount of cereal into the cup so they stay full longer. Full belly…longer sleep.
1 Like
Your child should sleep in his bed that way heceould not smell you r milk
I have nursed my own children and even foster children. My6 husband was a big help and did what he could. BUT. I was the one to make the choice and the one to do what needed done so child could wean. Tough it out mom it won’t take forever
Most of Asian always feed our baby besides sleeping… it’s easy by the way, our kid liked it too… you don’t need to wake up and breastfeeding, our accentors did that too and not dangerous for toddler at all.
No baby in bed, and if they are, definitely no TV while your husband is sleeping
My husband and I shared a 1 bedroom apartment with our first child, I became a stay at home mom with her. Her crib was in our room there wasn’t any place else for her. If my husband woke up due to her awaking/crying he would help. If she was really awake we would go in the livingroom but no tv/phone just in the dark resting together. It’s hard. Disruptions to sleep make people cranky (all the way around) he does need sleep to work but so do you. You both made the choice to become parents so he needs to be in it too. Maybe if it’s just one work night for him where he gets up not you.
Husband should be willing to compromise his sleep depending on his age health and occupation. I would sleep on the couch until the child was of age or felt comfortable sleeping in there own room depending on the living conditions of the dwelling because some beginning families are trying to save money living in a one bedroom apartment or something like that plus children do show up unexpectedly. Its the way we live unfortunately.
Maybe it’s time your toddler started sleeping by himself. Toddlers should be able to sleep through the night.
Your husband provides a living. He should get his sleep.
Bad job performance means no job. Would you be able to get along well financially if he lost his job? Some answers on here are unreasonable. Think for yourself what would be right.
Good Luck.
1 Like
Idk why anyone thinks it’s ever a good idea to have their kids sleep in the same bed.
And no, he works a full time job, does everything else you ask for and then you want to take his sleep too and make him sleep with the baby? Honestly I would be upset with you too. Why doesn’t the baby have his own room?
If you feel like you need a break to catch up on some sleep, it might be good for you to look into the idea of daycare a few times a week. That would help YOU the most. And as far as getting your baby off the boobie, that’s something you have to just stick out. You can always pump and give him a sippy cup of milk at night and lay him back in his OWN bed so you and your husband can sleep. And after three to four months, how come your toddler isn’t sleeping through the night? I just have so many questions now for you and what’s not being done that should be to benefit your whole household.
For real, if you need some tips, send me a pm. I have two boys with two more on the way, I’ve got lots of ideas you can try so you and your hubby can catch a break.
The kid should not be in your bed. Breast feeding or not. I breast fed three and never had that priblem
2 Likes
First of all they shouldn’t be still be breast feeding that long& they shouldn’t be in need With the parents, they at any age should not be sleeping in bed with adults
How about you put your child in his/her own room. Co sleeping is dangerous anyway. If your child wakes up just let them play in their crib until they fall back asleep, or you could give your child some milk in a sippy cup and then leave the room.
You should put him in a crib in his own room and start weaning him as a toddler the breat and a bottle should be gone once those teeth come in it is over
What does he do? That plays a huge role. You did choose to be a stay at home mom. That is the Job you’ve chosen. It is work my wife was a stay at home Mom too. That was the life she chose. She and you may not work outside the home but you do work. My wife has always had equal say in how our leisure money is spent as she does work, just not outside the home.
How inconsiderate of you your man is right yes as a stay at home mom the child is mostly your responsibility show more consideration for your man grow up
Why should you both have to be disturbed? And why is your toddler not in his own bed?
1 Like
Well you are a working mom! You cook for your family? Clean up after? Clean the house? Wash the clothes? Feed the baby! Bath time?
Toddler should have been in his own bed! You feed them and put them back to bed. No tv. But yes your husband should be helping! You work 24/7. When have you had 8 hours of sleep???
My opinion, you shouldn’t be sleeping with the child in the first place!
1 Like
My son is 3 and in his own room but bet your damn ass if he wants to sleep with mama and daddy (usually every night around 3am) he gets to! We are their comfort and if they need us we are there. I think your husband is being a little selfish. It’s not like you woke him up to take care of the baby. You turned on the TV. He needs to get over himself.
I breast my kids. They had a crib in our bedroom until they were a year old. Breast feeding stopped at 6 months. My kids slept through the night at 6 months. We both worked and if they woke up I got up and fed them not dad.
Why is the kid sleeping with you. Let him cry! It’s OK to let them cry and learn they will not always get their way. That goes with stopping breast feeding too.
It is pretty selfish to expect the dad to miss sleep when he has to go to work and earn a living. He is doing his part . Be grateful Many women have husbands that aren’t doing that very well. If you love your husband you will want him to get his rest. Do not sleep with the baby. It is dangerous and also forming bad habits. It’s your job, handle it! No t.v. for the baby. They have to get used to sleeping without it. You are forming bad habits. If it is a weekend and hubby doesn’t have to work he could help out Having a new baby is hard on everyone! I am sure dad is loosing sleep ,too when baby cries. Try to make it easy on him. He will love you more for it. I used to raise Pekingese and Chows and had to be up every 2 hours to feed them. Yes, I lost sleep but it did not kill me or send me to the Dr. I was very happy seeing my babies that I cared for. I also raised 5 kids with very little help from their Dad. He worked out of state and was not home much, but I handled it. You can, too! Toughen up!
Miss a few nights sleep now for many many full nights sleep in the future. You’re raising your child, that’s a full time job with no start/stop time. No it isn’t asking your husband much, asking for his help with his child.
I think turning the tv on could create more issues with getting toddler to go back to sleep. You don’t want to have to break another bad habit when he wants to party all night! Lol.
First problem is the child should not be sleeping in the parents bed. Number one it’s very dangerous. Number two all this hoopla stated here is exactly why. Dad gets woken up and turns into a jerk when he created half of this problem from the beginning. If the kid had his own room it could alleviate the need you “entertain” him when he wakes up in the middle of the night…which every kid does! Additionally these parents created this child together, they both need to raise the kid together. Mom doesn’t have the luxury of the “9 to 5.” She’s got the 24/7. Dad has a responsibility too. You don’t get to fo all the fun stuff and shirk the rest of the responsibilites. Sounds like there needs to be a little growing up here!
Your child’s needs his own room. And teach him to stay in bed… Sorry but your hubby needs a full night’s sleep… Depends what sort of job he has…
Put the child in it’s own room and bed.
1 Like
This child needs it’s OWN BED NOW ! Especially since you are weaning them !!!
I wouldn’t want the tv turned on in the middle of the night either. There should be some compromise. Does it serve everyone to have everyone awake in the middle of the night with the tv on though? My weaning process because it had to do with my timing and body was my responsibility though. And it never felt fair to wake my partner through it when they had to go to work the next day. I accepted the lousy hours and poor pay of the job when i took it.
1 Like
The child should sleep in their own bed if you are trying to ween
That’s something you both need to agree to. The child belongs to both of you so really he should help if that’s how you feel about it.
I personally took full responsibility of all 7 of my kids at night. I’m a stay home mom and my husband works. I nursed them all. I felt it was nicer since I could sleep in if the baby did. I wanted to let my husband sleep. It was my personal choice. My husband was willing to help. I think that makes a difference too. He was willing so I had the option to have help or not. I never felt forced or like a single parent. I also chose not to cosleep except nights when I was tired and felt it was easier nursing and my special needs daughter would come in and climb in my bed. My husband learned to sleep thru it. I didn’t use the tv though. Maybe if your husband doesn’t want to help you can talk to him about ignoring things. Or you can also wee. The child out of your bed. Then when it wakes up it can play in its room till it’s tired again. All my kids learned to play quietly in thier rooms or quietly by my bed after thier dad went to work so I could sleep longer. Playing with my phone or an iPad was a good substitute for the tv for us as well. Ultimately being a stay home mom doesn’t automatically mean it’s your job to let him sleep. Good luck deciding on something you both can be happy with!
Life is short. Weaning can be short also. Do what’s best for each other
Switch roles nd he will learn being a stay at home mom is a full time job that u don’t get to leave. Stay at home mom is a 24/7 job
Why is the kids still sleeping with you and you should let your husband sleep you can sit down during the day and rest he can’t and he has to have an alert mind for work
Both parents are responsible for the upbringing of a child or get the child into some habits. I understand if the husband is working & needs sleep but so does the mother. Do stay at home moms get the sleep with a baby? That’s wht the world thinks? Sorry but if the husband thinks u got to be understanding so does he. Also can’t wrap my head around the kind of people who r laughing. I mean wht was so funny- the plight of new moms or u people not having kids of ur own?
If he has a room of his own should be in a big bed and have a favorite toy
He works and you stay home… He should be should be able to sleep. why does your toddler sleep in their own bed? You should have taken the toddler out if the room. You both can take naps not the husband. The husband has every right to be upset.
Get a tablet with head phones for the kiddo. Less noise! If I loose sleep, I am absolutely an azzhole
2 Likes
is his job 24 hours a day too? does he help with the house, laundry, cooking etc?
I know this will get a lot of backlash and thats fine but the mom is to take care of the home and children and the man is to work, pay the bills, and provide for the family.
1 Like
If it is at the time to stop breast feeding then I agree it’s time to go for a bed for the toddler. I also don’t know what time y’all are going to bed. If it’s early for dad’s sake, then you keep the baby up a little longer and I bet the toddler will sleep more through the night. Js.
Child should be sleeping in his own bed in own room
Get the child to sleep in his own room. If the child needs to feed go to his room
1 Like
Why are you breastfeeding a toddler anyway? You’ll end up breastfeeding a twelve year old and demanding your husband helps.
1 Like
Toddlers should sleep through the night. Time for his/her own room.
I think you should do what you need to for the child and let dad sleep as a stay at home mom I have been there and he is right he needs to sleep, like you said he helps a ton with the baby when he gets home. I think you need to think about him and his needs also. It’s a compromise.
Two year old should be in his own room. It it’s the middle of the night, put warm milk in that sippy cup. Let dad sleep.
3 Likes
Let your husband sleep . Go in another room and take care of your child . It’s not like it’s going to be a life time deal . Your child needs his own room.
Two heads are better than one. In my opinion I think dad needs to be on board with weaning this Child. You are doing a great job. Maybe after sippy cup put the baby in the playpen and see if you can get any rest on the sofa until baby sees he’s not getting booby milk anymore. You’re Doing a good job
I understand co sleeping isn’t for everyone. She didn’t ask our opinion on that, yet many keep telling her that the child needs to be his own room.
1 Like
Pump milk before bed put it by your bed in a bottle and if he wakes up give him that. See if that helps. If you don’t want to try that buy his toddler next step (Hannaford or Walmart has it) and only give him that. And take naps with him during the day an hour of sleep still helps
Personally, I strongly believe that when the child wakes up, they are going back to sleep. There’s no TV time, play time, food time, etc. I understand the situation but toddler has to lay down and you don’t talk to them. Maybe some patting of the back. If they scream, that sucks, but that’s one of the negatives of co sleeping. And they won’t keep doing it. Once they realize that they have no other options, they will choose to go back to sleep. One way I helped wean my toddler was by sleeping with a shirt on and having a sippy cup of milk handy for when they wake up at night. If you get them the cup fast enough, they usually might just go right back to sleep. However, my toddler is 14 months and was sleep trained a long time ago with CIO so she doesn’t usually wake at night unless she doesn’t feel well. I did sleep with her for the first 6 months or so. I support co sleeping and not co sleeping but no matter what, night time is for sleeping. An alternative would be if baby wakes up, go to sleep in the living room. But straight to sleep. Once baby gets that your not going to be turning tvs on and such, eventually you can stay in the bed
In my house, I got up with the baby(I bottle fed) weeknights. Husband got up on Fri and Sat nights. Worked for us
He is a parent now, sleep isn’t a guaranteed part of that title. Even if he works he needs to understand the aspect of a full time mom, its apparently the equivalent of 2 and a half full time jobs. So he can help he only has 1.
I never formally weaned my babies. They pretty much self wean especially if you co sleep. Letting the child watch tv or play in the middle of the night is going to cause a bigger problem then breastfeeding. Also your husband does need his sleep. He doesn’t like getting up early and going to a demanding job. Sharing duties at night is nice and he should want to help but if it causes tension it is totally not worth the battle. Children can be taught to not bite easier than weaning. I don’t know your circumstances but I raised four kids and did long term breastfeeding with all of them.
If you still want your baby to have breast milk pump it and put in a bottle. I fixed my baby cereal bottles at night and he slept all night. If the baby is starting to bite then it’s time to wean it from the breast. I recently took care of a foster baby that was 5 months old and I feed her cereal bottles at night and she slept all night. I just put eight oz. Of formula with 1 12 tablespoons of cereal shook it well. The nipple hole has to be made a little bigger so the cereal can pass through. She is now 4 yrs old and is a perfectly healthy child.
Sounds like he is being beyond ridiculous. My husband works overnights and will still lay out son down with him while trying to sleep for work.
If you want your child to watch tv to get back to sleep, go to another room and both of you go to sleep. He needs sleep so he can be alert on the job. Just my opinion.
1 Like
I’m not here to pass judgement on anyone for their parenting style or offer unsolicited advice. All I can tell you is that you should parent your child in the way that works best for you and your child. Just remember, you can’t spoil a baby. It is at this point that they start to develop trust and a basic understanding of which parent they can come to when they need something. Unfortunately, it comes with some downfall in that your child is learning that Dad can’t be relied upon to provide his basic needs. If it continues, then child is potentially picking up on how to treat his partners in future relationships. As a suggestion, you should sit down with your partner and create a schedule that works for the both of you in regards to kiddo, because you both need adequate sleep to be functional. And in a lot of cases (NOT ALL) inadequate sleep and lack of help from your partner breeds resentment toward the child.
Whether you co-sleep with kiddo or not is not really anyone’s business but your own. When you and your child are ready you can begin to get him into is own bed and on something of a sleep routine. I wouldn’t recommend a bottle at this point for weaning off of breast milk for a couple reasons. One,because he’s a toddler and his teeth are still developing and a bottle will hinder that. And two, because no matter how you shape it, a bottle nipple does not have the natural shape of a breast nor the texture and will just confuse the child. Same goes for sippy cups. As for the tv? If you have cable, instead of putting on a late night show that’s going to stimulate your child’s mind and keep him up even later when he wakes up, change the channel to one of the ones that plays calming music so it relaxes him and encourages him to go back to sleep. Whatever you decide to do in regards to YOUR child is YOUR choice. I’m here to encourage you and tell you that you got this Mama! You can do it! Just don’t give up. And if you need someone to talk to or even just vent, I’m here for you
Husband needs his sleep after all he is holding down a full time job and providing for you and the family, get child into his or her own bed or room that way you can go to that room where child is and not interrupt husband sleep.
I’m not getting nighttime breast feeding of a toddler.
While baby needs to be in his own bed, your husband shouldnt react like that, he knew what he signed up for when he let Mr Happy play without a raincoat
1 Like
Do ya have twins ? You said ‘they’ which means more than one. You can wean them one at a time or just wean them all ar once. Biting is a clear sign he or she is ready for different food.
It’s tough to work a full time job. If your husband doesn’t get enough sleep he is not going to be able to focus and be productive. Well, as a full time employee, that’s my two cents.
1 Like
If he is so selfish I would sleep in the guest room all the time , shut his bed room door and let him sleep in his bedroom , you can have your own room in the guest room I do not think he will like it but his problem .
Oh My. Well, if you want the input from a wise old Gram of 6 adult children and 21 grandkids, I’d say: Stop coddling/supervising a child and start ‘training a child in the way they should go’. Sounds like the toddler is training you.
BTW - there’s a lot of this going on in the ‘parenting’ these days🤦🏻♀️
1 Like
Personally I would say give your husband a good nights sleep and maybe wean the toddler off the breast and out of your bed.
Perhaps time to trade husband for a more caring one.
So basically you signed an ownership contract when you got married and he expects you to be the perfect “Donna Reed” wife? That’s not right.
This behavior is going to continue as long as you allow it. The child needs his own room and bed Ge will get used to it
I would sleep in another bedroom and the child should be in a crib.It is dangerous for a child to co sleep.Let hubby sleep by himself, you will both be better off. I would start bottle feeding so he can learn how to help with HIS child.
Get the kids out of your bed.
6 Likes
As a toddler, you shouldn’t be co-sleeping with them anyway…give the kid their own room
Do it the normal way…by first getting that child out of the marriage bed…that was your first mistake…unless you only have one room, one bed and there isn’t any other place to put the child you have made the biggest mistake of your married life which you will live to regret…your husband is the only provider and needs his rest so why in the world would you even consider turning on the TV…you should have taken the child in another room, then gave the silly cup…should not have turned the TV on as that will now become a habit you will most likely have to contend nightly…without the TV, cuddle him in your arms by rocking him back to sleep…why would you want not to breastfeed him as that would have been a sure way to get the child to go back to sleep…your husband is absolutely right and personally I think it is very selfish of you…you want your cake and eat it too…all mothers go through the same thing but do you know how fortunate you are to stay home with the child?..in these days and times, that is practically impossible…you need to get down on your knees nightly
and thank our Lord for such a good husband and being home to raise your child…no, your husband has enough on his plate without having to help you who doesn’t have to work away from home…you are I hope a big girl who is capable of weaning the baby all on your own…It is your responsibility considering how fortunate you are to be a stay-at-home mom…You Can Do It Without Help
Toddler should be in his own bed. Problem solved.
6 Likes
Maybe putting milk in the sippy cup would be a little bit better than water to fill their tummy with it will last a lot longer
Quit worries it will work out .it’s a short period of time …just let the man sleep
1 Like
I’m not sure that having them in same bed as you is a good thing.
You two need privacy or it will get worse.
Turning on tv and lights doesn’t give baby the message it’s time to sleep.
1 Like
Toddler shouldn’t be sleeping with you to start with
Also. Your husband needs his sleep. When he comes home from work take a nap
I think the polite thing to do is to remove the child to the living room and deal with the issues there but when he is going to be off work, he should give you a break and take the child to the living room to deal with the feeding issue! Compromise is always best.
Get rid of the tv. It’s programming you and your child to depend on it.
Number one rule. You do not make it a Common thing for your child to sleep in your bed. When your child grows up knowing we each sleep in our own bed , it doesn’ become a problem to break. I am not talking about those times when your child is frightened or sick. But never let it be all the time…
Do what your husband asks or go get a job, there’s many women that would gladly stay home mom, BS you work 24/7 I highly doubt that. If he’s not sitting behind a desk all day he need some sleep, it’s a low price to pay to be a stay at home mom
Your child should have his own bed he shouldn’t be sleeping with you in your bed at all
Put tgstcbaby in it own crib and room. Get some bottles give that to the baby and go to bed. Throw that book out too…
1 Like
First I want you to know that I breast fed 4 children and one to age 2, my boys weaned themselves at about a year. They were better eaters than my daughter. The first thing you need to do is realize you are married to your husband not the toddler. You are not teaching independence and good selfesteem. Sleep is something we all need to be healthy, but it is also a habit. A good bed time along with some shutting down ritual like a story and a bedtime prayer. Your husband needs his sleep as he is gifting you with the ability to be with your young child all the time. This is time that is the most important of all and can not be reclaimed at a later time. Your child is not a cocker spaniel that will be laying at the foot of your bed till it dies. The whole aim of good parenting is to produce a self confident and independent child that will grow up to be strong and able to deal with what ever comes. I understand your being tired and all the things that must be done at knap time trust me. You need to develope that sleepy time ritual. Daddy time should be after dinner after he has had time to unwind and settle in. spend some family together time together or read a story or both. Quiet time to start to settle down for the night.this is not the time to wrestle, bath time can come before or after the story time I always liked after as this helped the sleep to come. nurse the child to sleep and then put her or him to bed in his or her bed. If you want the child to grow up with respect for you and your husband as well as other kinds of authority you must always be respectful of one another. There is a social structure in all families and each child needs to understand their place in the structure. Dad and mom are at the top and the child comes next not the other way around. To many children run the house and they are usually very uncomfortable at the top. While they want what they want when they want it life is not like that and again the job of the parent isn’t to keep the child needy and undisciplined. The child may not like the change at first but they do adjust. You just repeat the process till they understand how it’s going to be. Your the boss, each night the time to nurse will slowly shorten until it is no longer a thing. During the day nurse only to sooth. ofer a cup at meals and water when ever. At the end of this process your child and you as well as your husband will be getting the sleep you need. Every one will be happier healthier and the child will be stronger and more self assured. By teaching good sleep habits early it will be a life time gift to your child, remember sleep is a habit the to many never learn. By honoring your husband in front of your child will be a gift you give to yourself. Men live in the praises of their wife and will make it worth your while trust me. The marrage bed is sacred and shouldn’t be shared to long with an infant.
1 Like
Hey momma! I’m a momma of 6, all of them breastfed until around 16-18 months. I did self led weaning, and started by taking away a mid day feed and did the night time feeds as the last to get rid of as that’s the comfort feed. My absolute best advice is that if your toddler is wanting it at night but fine during the day you could start by weaning the minutes and for the first few nights let them get a full feed if you’re both comfortable with it then count how many minutes it is. Then each night stop a few minutes short and put him in the bed and pat his back with a cup of milk and with my babies I just did a couple ounces of goats milk since I didn’t want them on cows milk. And just some gentle soothing music. I would advise against starting the habit of television during dark hours as that might be a habit hard to break him of and it could start something new you would have to get rid of. It might be helpful if you could get your husband to let the toddler lay next to him and pat him gently on the back while you have your back turned to baby so your front isn’t next to him. But I’ve never had fatherly help with any of my kids. Which is why I decreased the time on the night time feeds and just laid with baby and patted their back. Most of my kids co sleep at some point but they also had their own beds as an option. Is there any way you could get a mattress that can fit under your bed so you can slide it out at night for your toddler to sleep on? That way he’s close to you but not next to you maybe he won’t wake up as often? From one momma to another you’re doing awesome and to just do what feels right to you. You are more than welcome to pm me if you need a momma to talk to.
Let your husband sleep. Maybe for now sleep in other room till your child can sleep in his own room. You need to ween him off the breast soon too,
Your toddler should sleep in his own room, give him a drink and send back to bed. Or watch tv downstairs.
When they bite, put them down with a firm No, they get it after a few times, then you don’t have to stop
1 Like
The kid could be in his own bedroom and husband wouldn’t be close enough to hear the midnight drama.
You are saying toddler why is a toddler still breastfeeding anyway.??
Put the child to sleep in it’s own bedroom.
16 Likes
why is the TODDLER sleeping in your bed? He should be in his own bed in his own room
1 Like
Start with, why is your child in your Marital bed? Then you can move to why you picked such a crappy guy?
You breastfeed your 3y old?
1 Like