So the answer is yes and no it depends on your relationship if you feel comfortable then yes if you dont then no… if he respected and cared for you then he wouldnt go unless you were ok with it and you arent so no its not ok for him to go in this situation… but you also need to remember these women at the strip club are just doing a job and dont want your man… and he obviously doesnt want them he wants you or he wouldnt be with you… maybe go with him and see what he likes and see if you can learn to do what they do? Idk if he is that important to you try to learn what he like if he isnt then drop him…
I’m going to be honest, you really should NOT be in any relationship until you work on your self esteem issues.
You should probably seek professional help because at this point it’s more of a YOU problem then a HIM problem. You have to LOVE YOURSELF before you can expect someone else to love you. Most men love confident women who are happy in their own skin.
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Move on…man’s not for you!
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Respect yourself 
SET relationship boundaries!!! give him a taste of his own medicine 
and go out to an all male exotic strip club !!!All the male dancers are muscle built and look like Thor
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I don’t think that if you are in a relationship… you should be having a sexual encounter with another woman
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I say move on girl. I don’t see a problem with strip clubs, they’re out there for a reason lol but it doesn’t seem like he even cares how you feel and that’s perfectly OK. Because there’s somebody out there who wouldn’t give two fucks about a stripper. It just seems like if neither one of you are able to respect the other ones boundary then you’re just not compatible. But atleast you know what you want in a man. So don’t be so sad about it. It’s a whole learning experience.
In my opinion, he should not be putting strip clubs above you. Telling you “they can do things you can’t do” even implying it, seems purposely meant to hurt you. He obviously is showing he has no respect for you, your boundaries, your feelings, or the relationship. Some ladies are fine with this and I am friends with a couple that frequents the strip club together. They have invited my boyfriend and I out, neither of us care for them. We view things like this as cheating and have boundaries in our relationship that we both respect. Respect and love yourself enough to end things if he can not respect you.
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From your vocabulary speaking, I would be turned off as well
Well… I guess you said your feeling but he could also ban certain romantic movies or books tiktoks ect as well:person_shrugging:
i mean kinda like the same thing.
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‘They can do things you can’t!!!’ I would’ve left a long time ago but seriously that comment would’ve sealed the deal right there 
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Why don’t you go with him.
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If it makes you that uncomfortable and you’ve verbalised that but he doesn’t respect it or won’t find a middle ground with you then end things. He is an adult and he can make his own choices. But so are you, and you decide what behaviour you will and will not accept.
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to your question should people in relationships go to strip clubs… not all the time no but he should invite u along with him make him pay for ya drinks no chatting up strippers or lap dances tho 
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YOU 
CAN’T LOVE YOUR PARTNER UNTIL YOU LOVE YOURSELF
You have much bigger issues than a man that likes naked women…
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My husband (who was only my boyfriend at the time) worked as a bouncer ay a strip club where his ex gf was a stripper and it never bothered me. I knew who he came home to.
Time to leave him he’s never going to be respectful
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Don’t wait around for him to change. He has told you who he is and that obviously isn’t what you want in a man. You aren’t responsible for changing him and he isn’t responsible for fixing your self esteem. He has a lifestyle he enjoys, and he isn’t interested in sacrificing it for you. It hurts, but it would hurt more if you were married and sitting home waiting while he parties.
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Hit the road Jack. He should never compare you to another. Find someone that makes you feel good about yourself.
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I really hope all the women on here complaining of their men watching porn, going to strip clubs, following hot chicks on social aren’t pulling a double standard. Yall claim you have low self esteem and it makes you feel bad but yall are doing the same shit. Following the hot guys on social media, following the hot guys on TikToks, watching the movies with only your celebrity crush. You’re doing it too. People are allowed to look. They’re allowed to fantasize. Are they cheating?? Are they leaving?? No?? Then leave it alone and pick your battles before you end up the psycho that no man wants to be with because you won’t let him be a man.
Not acceptable just not a right or good thing to do
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Yes…as long as they do not touch or have the agreement to with the partner.
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Personally i dont think its wrong of a partner to go to a strip club, they are there just to watch some beautiful woman/men perform art in their element. You guys could try sitting down, talking and coming up with a compromise that works for both of you (so that you can feel more comfortable)
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They can do things like dances and skills you can’t. They train for it. He’s not lying. You could take classes and learn to do some of those things.
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Well I guess it depends. My husband and I go to strip clubs all the time 
I think I ask to go more than he has ever even thought of going:woman_shrugging:t4: So it depends on the specific relationship. It is something we both enjoy.
However, if it is a hard limit for you, and he insists he is going to continue to participate in going, then you’re better off apart; you both have different ideas of what type of relationship you want. It isn’t his job to build your self-esteem broken by an ex. His job is to love you and encourage you, but that doesn’t mean fixing your issues. It is also not your job to “fix” him or make him change his ways.
You need to invest in someone who has the same ideas and standards as yourself.
My husband and I pretty much believe the same way about everything. There are very few things that we see differently. The few we do see differently are not make or break issues. I think strip clubs are a make or break issue, if you don’t agree one of you is going to end up resentful. Either he will stop going and resent you for making him change his lifestyle or he’ll continue to go and you’ll resent him for disrespecting you. Both scenarios are unappealing. Walk away now.
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If he goes now he will always go, if he doesn’t respect your feelings now he will never respect them later.
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Not okay, these girls aren’t just half naked they’re practically turning themselves inside out and are very interactive with the crowd. None of that should matter though if it’s making you feel that way then that should be enough of a reason for him to not even contemplate going 
how would he like it if the roles were reversed…
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I’ve been to the strip club before with people I dated and it was actually really fun. Most the girls are set on getting their bag not getting into homeboys pants. That’s not the part I’d be concerned about it’s his comments that give me red flags & that he’s so persistent about it.
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There are other things for him to do to relax than go to a strip club…like anything else. I wouldn’t find it acceptable either.
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Sounds like Nothing is gonna stop him from going. Maybe go with?
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Leave… “they can do things you cant” that should have NOT even crossed his mind. Not saying every guy cheats but every person should consider their spouses feelings… youd be surprised how many married/soon to be married get touchy touchy and other things with the girls. Id go with him 
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He sounds like a f@cking idiot… Leave him
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Dumb him
“ they can do things you can’t” basically he’s paying more to get more
He’s paying to look at other women when he could be treating u like a queen and getting it all free at home
Dump him!! Don’t talk to him anymore about it he said enough
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You need to take responsibility for your insecurities though too. I know it’s hard to do, and I’m not saying he’s right or wrong. You can’t ask someone to change themselves though. If he sees nothing wrong with it, and still loves you just the same, and still wants to sex you up just the same, and still finds you just as attractive then maybe you need to work on your insecurities. Expecting you or your partner to be enough in EVERY area is just unrealistic. You either need to keep some things a fantasy or come to a compromise.
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I’d dump him based on the fact he doesn’t know the difference between to & two for & four. He also doesn’t care about your feelings. Boy bye.
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It’s not cheating if he’s only looking… if he’s not considering your feelings then he isn’t worth your time because this is what you will be in for for the long run!! Unfortunately if he respected you enough he wouldn’t be going to strip clubs or telling you “ they can do things you can’t” honestly wtf he has no respect for you and is only disrespecting you because he isn’t considering how it would effect you… tell him to step it, you deserve better then someone who puts you and your feelings last.
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Trust. As a dancer I can personally assure you that we don’t want your man we want their money
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Mo if he goes he is out
You’ve been made to feel hurt and he already knows this si for him to say that as well is plain idiotic. Give him alot of space or go that’s selfish and hurtful. If he cared about your feelings you’d feel that. Not what you’re being made to feel. Ugh you’re better off without someone willing to cause pain. Life does that enough on its own 
we are told to protect our hearts Above All Else because that causes us to go down the paths that we do sometimes
I don’t get the responses that are trying to promote strip clubs to this poster. She said she is not a fan of them. Why should she change her outlook? Nevertheless, if it makes you uncomfortable and you have expressed yourself to him, and he still doesn’t get it, maybe take a break for a while…
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Tell him you’d rather go to church😇
Wow what a jackass. Hes trash.
Going to a strip club is fine. Porn is fine. But the fact that he felt the need to tell you that they can do things you cant… that’s bullshit.
I have not read any of these comments!
I will likely have an unpopular opinion!
Haters gonna hate!
I see no issues with a partner going to the club!
All of the things you mentioned are on you, why should he be limited to doing something he wants to experience?
It sounds like you are feeling the ownership plague! And that you need to deal with trauma instead of making other people carry it/suffer!
He’s not asking to spend your money or to have a hall pass! He just wants to go see some crazy shit!
I was with someone like that once and i never gave a shit until he continued to go over and over, but he was an asshole. His comment is total bullshit. You don’t deserve that, and him knocking your confidence like that is so awful. You deserve better. Seriously. My husband went for his bachelor party and it was completely nude but he has no interest in it other than for shit like that. I wasn’t stoked he went but it’s different when it happens every so often and he tells you he doesn’t care! Don’t do that to yourself!
You shouldn’t be with a person who doesn’t mind hurting your feelings.
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Don’t be with someone who doesn’t respect your boundaries
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Omg go together. Live a little
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Been on both sides of this fence. My ex and i went a few times. It didn’t bother me really probably because he was having them dance on me while he watched. My husband now has zero desire to go to a strip club. He says i am the only woman he wants to see naked. He is very respectful to women and their bodies
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Have enough self respect to dump a looser like him that will NEVER change. He has No respect for himself or he WOULDN’T go to those kind of places, nor does he know how to treat someone else with real love. Cut the ties and give him the heave ho, don’t let the door swing in anymore for him.
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Start going to male strip club’s. See if he likes that.
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The use of two and four when not about numbers is my biggest problem with this. Also I’m pretty sure this was tonight’s plot between Jovi and Yara on 90 day fiance happily ever after soooo I’m not buying this.
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I mean me personally I go with my man but if you don’t feel comfortable and you told him that he’s being a pos
Ew he’s a disgusting human 
you are worth so much more! You should get out of that toxic mess
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You need to get out of this relationship before you’re hurt even worse. He does not care if you’re hurting, commitment and compromise are the cornerstones if a relationship. I don’t see either.
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Not going to promote strip clubs, but why don’t you ask him what they do that you can’t? Take a strip cardio class? Quit letting your ex take up space in your head and find ways to love yourself and feel sexy. Regain your own power.
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Go see some male strippers!
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Leave the trash on curb.
K so I was a house mom at a strip club and my sister has been one for the last 13 years. If your man says they can do things you can’t when referring to a strip club, he is getting some form of an extra in VIP. Sorry booboo but that’s the cold hard truth.
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- He’s being a petty jackass. 2. Start going to male strip clubs and see what they can do that he cannot. 3. Not technically cheating, but if he knows it doesn’t sit well with you, why would he ever do it for any reason? 4. Find a person who makes you feel like you are the reason the sun rises in the morning and sets in the evening. If he is not it, that is not your issue. But you do need to move on to find the right person for you.
No it’s hurtful and disrespectful if you told him it bothers you. This is red flag#1 move on. He will only do what he wants. Which means he’s going to miss out on you…go find a really nice guy who’s happy with you!!!
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F that, he’s disgusting and deserves to be single
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If he can’t respect your wishes and he says they can do things you can’t then I’d leave him and tell him now he can do the things himself that you use to do.
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Become a stripper see if he likes that! 
Its tricky. Because ur ex treated u badly with this there is probably some post traumatic stress involved here as well.
My question would be more about what does he actually do / what is his behaviour like when he goes to a strip club? how often ? And is it taking away from ur love life or relationship?
My hubby goes occasionally. But it’s with a group of friends where they just chill, have some drinks and admire the view. Plus it gives him ideas sometimes of what clothes he like to see me try. It helps our sex life.
If u feel he’s not doing the right thing then it’s likely that he’s not doing the right thing.
I think of it that y there are possibly things they are doing that u cant, u can do things that they can’t and that’s y he loves u more.
These are just thoughts . I’m not sure if they will help of not.
Have courage and always love urself 
Real men aren’t interested in strip clubs…usually the kind of guys you find in strip clubs are low life dirty dogs that don’t know how to properly treat a woman. Ive come to this conclusion though personal experience…I dated a total narcissistic douche bag when I was in my early 20s and he was all about treating women like sex objects instead of treating them like human beings with feelings…I got away from him as soon as I realized what a piece of shit he really was…flash forward to present time and the man Ive been with for the last 7 yrs isn’t about that life at all. He treats me with the utmost respect, tells me he loves me everyday and lets me know he thinks I’m beautiful, comes home to me and our 4yr old daughter every night after work and spends his weekends being a family man, is an awesome father & hustles his ass off to provide a comfortable life for the 3 of us, and he doesn’t even look at porn or even masturbate!! He doesn’t cheat and his eyes are set on me & and me only…hes truly a damn good man and I feel like the majority of men out there dont even compare. There’s alot of guys out there that pretend to be the one and have it all when in reality they’re just scandalous and selfish af.
Leave him. He’s a narcissistic self serving worm. Things WILL NOT get any better. Just worse. U want to be happy? Dump him. Ur not going to find it with him.
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Leave him because he’s not a man. Real man understand your worth and if he really loves you he will try to understand your feelings first before he will make any decision. You see, you said that he’s making u feel like that so don’t be blind with the thought of him loving u because if he really loves u…you wouldn’t feel that way.
Be with someone who wouldn’t make u feel insecure and not good enough. Because real man makes u feel that u are enough.
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I hate strip clubs. It is like going to the whore house to just look
Eh people will probably disagree with me but I think your self esteem issues are your own… if he wants to go to a strip club and you don’t like it then don’t be with him, I personally would go with him and have fun with it. Your self esteem was messed up before him from another man, maybe you should be single for awhile and work on yourself, you have to love yourself before anyone can love you the way you deserve.
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Ya know what, you have EVERY right to find a strip club and a partner going to be an uncomfortable situation AND it is cheating on your partner when you know said action hurts your partner.
Period.
I know women who find porn to be cheating and guess what, it is for their situation. Period.
NO ONE can tell you it’s not cheating just because they don’t see it that way.
I don’t have a problem with porn, but my best friend did, and when her ex watched it, she was crushed, to her, he cheated because HE KNEW, and guess what. She was RIGHT. He Cheated.
Your S/O has two options. RESPECT your boundaries, or GET LOST. Don’t allow someone to disregard your feelings. People who do that, don’t love you. Period.
Good luck sweetie.
If you’re not comfortable he shouldn’t go! Get out while you can! Hes not worth your time if he isn’t seeing how it affects you mentally and emotionally!!!
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If you’re uncomfortable with it, that should have been the end of it. Stay away from people who turn your feelings into an argument. It doesn’t matter WHY you’re not okay with it, if it’s a boundary to you, stick to it, and if he chooses to cross the line, leave 
it’s 2021, we are not settling for men who disrespect us. Time to move on girl.
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You are in the right. NOTHING good comes from lust . The Bible speaks on this subject . Yes , I agree . It seems to me this is cheating . Please - get a good counselor . Y’all go and if he won’t go , you go alone !
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Most strippers aren’t even skinny or cute!!! If that’s what he wants, let him go!!! He’s not worth it!!
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Go with him and let that man go girl. Life is short to stress on that
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If you break up, he’ll have more than one night to enjoy himself. I bet he dont even give you orgasms, does he?
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I go with him. It’s fun. Have a drink. Sit back and enjoy the show.
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While I think the core issue is a trivial one, I think his reaction to what is an important issue to you specifically is the real red flag here.
You tell him you’re insecure, so what does he do? He focuses on the insecurity and makes it worse? Nope. I’m not there for that, sorry.
There is a way to discuss this issue and come to an agreement. His response to this situation is trash. Throw the whole man away, and start again.
Yep still comes home to you. Or go with him its ok
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Go together and see that you have nothing to worry about.
My rule is idc if you go I don’t want to smell it or know what happened.
He still tells me (which are very funny stories) and we usually have a very fun time 
when he gets home.
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strippers ain’t even all that girl? Why you trippin?. Go with him! You’ll get more attention by the strippers than he will. JS. If you can’t get passed it then that your own personal problem. Either deal with it or walk away.
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I don’t blame you at all. I think strip clubs are gross and don’t see the point in them - especially if you are in a relationship. I think they are disrespectful as hell. If you are not comfortable and your boyfriend is being a total jerk about it, I say leave him. You are worth so much more!!
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Gross, you’re are well within your right to feel betrayed. My husband wouldn’t dare, nor does he want to.
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I’m assuming if he wanted her with him? He would have suggested it and even then 
pft there is a time and place for everything but being ok with having a strange woman rubbing on your man’s cock is Not a self esteem booster. And if she’s made it clear she’s not cool with it? And he goes anyway? He has no respect for her and that’s a problem. My opinion. Sorry not sorry
He is not your person, kick his butt to the curb! HARD!
You and your SO definitely have some major lifestyle differences—and sadly, it seems he does not harbor much respect for you and your boundaries. If my SO lusts and spends his energy and time (let alone money) more on other women than the one next to him that he claims to care for, it’s a huge problem. And if he’s ever allowing himself to be touched sexually by another woman, it is cheating. All this is toxic AF.
Never settle your very normal boundaries—it will only make a very unhappy you. There will be someone else that won’t. 
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When I was younger I dated a well known Rock star and I was always with the band and my BF. All of the Boys liked to go to clubs after a gig to wind down drink and blow money on girls. The wives and GF’s were welcome to come and I always went because I was fascinated with why these guys picked strippers to unwind with…I took it upon myself to get to know the regular girls the guys even my BF fancied…This is the truth on the club girls. They are just trying to make ends meet just like you and I. Most are really cool and down to earth girls with the same insecurities we have a lot of them have husbands, BF’s and kids. Yes there are some homewreckers too but most are just dancing to make a living and they make a great living sometime 500 to 1000 a night. Some are dancing their way through college. The fascination is they are untouchable. These guys go to see a show of a girl. That’s it. Try going with your man. Don’t make it about you. Support what he likes to do and include yourself. Be his PIC.(Partner in Crime) If he cheats that is another thing all together but if he is just going to see a show, loosen the leash a little…Let your hair down and enjoy something new
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should people in relationships go to strip clubs?
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Why would it hurt? Of course we all can do things others can’t. I’m not a gymnast. Watching the Olympics doesn’t hurt my feelings.
I think both of you should be considerate of the others feelings. But I don’t feel this is something that should cause you distress.
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Nah get rid of him, he doesn’t care about your feelings and why does he need to look at other girls naked to “enjoy” himself. Kick him to the curb but while you’re at it, learn to value yourself cos you shouldn’t need the validation of strangers to stand up for what makes you happy.
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Both of you sit down and watch fireproof it’s a great movie… he may get the idea after you watch it
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Go together my partner and I would egg each other on about these things, we never married I don’t own him, he can do whatever he likes except take another woman, it’s me he be lying with at the end of the day. So learn to love yourself you may find the courage to be more confident within yourself.
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I have never met a straight guy who if he doesn’t go to strip clubs wouldn’t enjoy going. I don’t see any guys who have commented on this!
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Never needed a strip club especially if my love objected. It’s such a small infinitesimal dot on my radar. Grow up.
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I understand what you are saying and if it really affects you that much he should not go. As for myself, I went to the strip club with my boyfriend. He was friends with several of the dancers and wanted me to meet them. I went and it was nothing like I thought it would be like.
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Feelings aren’t right or wrong. Actions from feelings can be. If you feel hurt or diminished by his actions he should
Listen to that and respect you enough to be a man and stop going to these places!
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I wouldn’t mind it but my husband is very cautious about coming around other woman you can almost say he rather not risk any future problems and make me his priority.
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If hes gonna do something bad it’s not gonna matter where he is.
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Sounds like another episode of toxic monogamy. Instead of putting your hurt feelings on him work on yourself. You are hurt he is not hurting you. It is your misconceptions. I don’t like strip clubs either. But I will not tell either of my partners not to go. I will not join them and will probably make fun of them when they got back. But my insecurites are mine and I just have to learn to deal with it. I have put up clear boundaries with my partners and they respect that.
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THROW HIS A** TO THE CURB AND DO IT NOW!!! And yes this is from a guy. Its disrespectful from the word go, plain and simple. Find yourself a man that respects you, for YOU, and all that you are, just how you are, and your feelings as well!! He sure as H*** doesn’t deserve you.
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