My husband and I go together 
BUT he has never gone without me either. I would be okay if he did,he knows I don’t mind lap dances that are out in front of everyone,but the ones in the back are not okay unless I’m there
I go and wouldn’t care if my SO went. Its entertaining and fun. 
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Love him or not if he doesn’t respect you then leave. It doesn’t get better
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it’s Called SELF Esteem For a Reason. & if You’re That insecure Then You Shouldn’t Be in a Relationship in The First Place.
Going To a Strip Club is NOT Cheating. & Saying it is Just Lessens What Cheating Really is.
if YOUR insecurities Cause You Not To Trust Him, Then it’s WRONG of You To Try Keeping Him in a Relationship & Projecting Your insecurities onto Him.
& all You Guys Telling Her She’s Right For Feeling This Way are Just Enabling Her insecurities & Manipulation Towards Her Man.
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Tell him bye go date a stripper then. Or on the same night you get to go see male strippers- since it’s not cheating…
A night 2 enjoy myself without worrying about another person… While he may not be cheating he is fantasizing about it.
At this point, you have told him that you dont agree with it and dont think its right to do while in a committed relationship, it is just as bad as cheating. He is repeatedly breaking your trust and confidance down.
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I think it’s gross either way.
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Mine is not going without me. Period.
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I let my bf go with his friends or cousins. It doesn’t bother me. But I understand when some girls don’t.
Hes coming home to you at the end of rhe day next time he asks go cool go on then oh by thr way did I mention to you iv booked the dreamboys lol .
Thats a you problem honestly.
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My husband and I have gone to them together. I would be OK with it for a bachelor party but not every weekend thing
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Go with him have fun.
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Or just say fine and plan a night out with tbe girls ur then talking the air out of it the more u show ur bothered the more hel resist. Just cut it down OK cool ur life etc hwl go once proabnly and thrn I don’t think hel go again plan a girls night out and ur busy u won’t be texing him during the night cos ur doing u. Make extra effort to look hottee than at home and he wil be wondering what jr doing all evening
Leave. Women always try to make men change. He will not change find someone that doesn’t minimize your feelings.
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I wouldn’t have an issue with it. You need to work on your own self esteem first.
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My partner and I usually go together, but I’m comfortable with him going with mates because I trust him indefinitely. I don’t see the harm in looking, he’ll I like to look too. We are both human and regularly egge each other on when we see a beautiful woman or handsome man. But at the end of the day, we come home to each other, we are dedicated to each other and he has said on numerous occasions that while the strip club is all fun and games, coming home to me in an oversized t-shirt looking like shrek is his favourite time of the day
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well. time to go to the strip club with your bf & watch how much those girls are just like the rest of us. Or! you can start stripping down for your man. ya know.
My husband and I go to strip clubs together! It’s something fun we enjoy doing. If he wanted to go out with the boys to strip club I would t care but he enjoys doing that kind of stuff with me
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I think it’s gross and tacky. Why go look at other women in person, give them your money, etc if you’re in a relationship? That’s disrespectful and straddling the line of cheating imo
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Go to a go go boys night and see how he feels….
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The fact that these men convinced yall its okay to go get horney off other girls while they rub down them and shit is crazy to me and on top of that spend the money oh hell naw:rofl:
No. People in committed relationships shouldn’t feel the need to see others naked. Single is for that.
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My husband can go to the strip club if he wants too. Crap, I would go too. But I do understand the strip club scene isn’t for everyone. I know a lot of girls who are uncomfortable with it.
I do understand why they’re uncomfortable with it.
This is the thing… If it is a hard line for you he has to accept that. If he can’t accept it and still does it you need to move on.
If you don’t set the boundary hard with him and you let this fly you are going to get hurt in the long run. Good luck!! 
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You are giving other people way to much control of your feelings. He is not the cause of your lack of self confidence. He can’t force you to see your beauty… that is all on you. The strippers do not want to fuck him. They just wanna make their money and go home. Maybe you should go to one and see what it’s like… better yet… go with him. Guaranteed you’ll be getting more attention than him. Quit putting your happiness in someone else’s hand… work on self love. Then you won’t be so insecure
I trust my husband fully
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So the strip club thing I understand but it’s more of a you thing, me I’m the same way I’m self conscious and not the biggest fan. but relationships are about compromise, I think as long as he’s not touching or getting intimate it shouldn’t be to big a deal my husband rarely goes but when he does it’s to hang out with his brother who is friends with the bartender, the bouncer and quit a few of the girls. They don’t want your man they are just doing their job, it took me a bit to understand this bc of all the emotional and mental abuse from past relationships. HOWEVER the “Omg, why is that big of a deal two you? I’m not asking four a night two go and cheat just a night 2 enjoy myself without worrying about another person.” Is insensitive and rude, you know what if he’s gonna go to a strip club even tho you have talked it out and not have him ease your nerves like he probably should have. I say go out have a girls night and not worry about him 
maybe sit down after you’ve both cooled off and discuss with him how the situation could have been handled
If you aren’t comfortable with it and he doesn’t care how you feel the relationship is doomed anyway
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Build a bridge and get over it. He cannot make you feel bad about yourself. Only you can do that. If it really bothers you, find a bf who doesn’t go to strip clubs. The women there are entertainers. And yes, they probably can do things you can’t do. Everyone has their own unique talents. But bottom line, a guy doesn’t go blind when he enters a relationship. As long as you’re the one he comes home to, watching a woman take his money isn’t that big of deal. Go to ladies night and watch the men take it all off. If that doesn’t bother him, then his watching women doing the same shouldn’t bother you.
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You have issues that you need to work on. Its a strip club he isnt going to go find a woman to have sex with. Going to a strip club isnt cheating. I have been to a male and a female strip club before no way my husband is going to tell me what I can and cant do.
What do they do that you can’t, that’s messed up. I’ve done a little strip show in front of my husband once, he loved it. But I also said we should go to one together sometime.
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Here’s the thing if you’re not comfortable with it and he is you can’t expect him to all the sudden change his mind and he can’t expect the same from you. If the two of you can’t compromise and come to an understanding then that’s where the issue is… Right now neither of you are validating the other ones feelings and that’s not gonna get you anywhere. You both want it 100% your way. Communication my dear. “is this a hill you want to die on” is the expression that always comes to mind.
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I think if that’s a no from you as your partner he should respect your boundaries and feelings.
We go together, I go to ladies nights he goes to regular nights. I find it healthy. We also watch porn as a couple too
He’s an a hole.
You’re right. How you feel about it should matter more to him than him getting to go.
If it’s more important than you, than he doesn’t value you, the things you value, or your boundaries and its not a good sign.
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In my relationship, no. No strip clubs. He respects the way that it makes me feel and he says he has no reason to go there anyway. Your man sounds like an uncaring cunt .
I like going to strips whit my SO . He’s not going home whit her . Not doing anything I’m not comfortable whit . But we both sit and enjoy the view 
But if your not okay whit it and it makes you feel a certain way make sure you established it .
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First of all, you have to work on your self esteem or find a partner who shares your same feelings about strip clubs. He will not change he will just start sneaking and going in my opinion.
I personally would go with my man and just enjoy myself but I also wouldn’t hinder him from going with friends on occasion. I do feel like you guys should talk and set boundaries like how he should behave in there and maybe to not be in there all of the time but other than that if he likes to go… suck it up and let him or find someone with the same views and boundaries.
Every relationship is different when it comes to this. I would find someone who has the same views as you instead of trying to change a man who doesn’t see the problem. I personally wouldn’t have an issue with it but that doesn’t mean I feel like every other woman should have to be ok with it. If he isn’t willing to respect your feelings on this, it’s best to find someone who will.
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Whyyyy would you get into a relationship with someone who goes to strip clubs & then expect him to change for your self esteem? 
That is an exercise in futility. If he started going to strip clubs after you started dating, knowing very well how you feel about it, then those are red flags that you should be wary of & back out of that relationship FAST.
Get out, learn how to love yourself and stop pinning your self confidence against the actions (or inaction) of the person you are in a relationship with. If he stops (or does not) it doesn’t affect your worth! It didn’t affect your worth BEFORE you entered his life & it certainly doesn’t affect your worth NOW while in a relationship with him either 
Learn to appreciate yourself and all the hard work it took to get yourself this far in life, sis, and don’t let anyone take you backwards.
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I was totally broken when the love of my life left me it was so hard for me & I almost gave up if not for a friend who directed me to a very good and powerful man called Dr_Jesse who helped me bring back the love of my life and now he treat me with so much love and care. I don’t know what you are passing through your relationship but trust me with what Dr_Jesse did for me I know he can help you. massage him on his page all thanks to God sent man called Dr_Jesse
I don’t think it’s ideal for you to take your insecurities and use them as a manipulation tactic in order to stop him from going. I go to the strip club with my girls, and I’m not always the most comfortable either. And I’m sure they can do things you can’t do, they’re entertainers who are there to make money to pay their bills. At the end of the day, he’d be coming home to you hot and bothered wanting to hit it till he can’t no more 
But just because you’re personally not comfortable, and have low self esteem doesn’t mean you have the right to tell him what he can and cannot do. If you don’t want a man who wants to go to the strip club then get out of this relationship and find that man.
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The strip club issue by itself is a thing on its own, but him saying “they do things you can’t do” sends red flags. I mean, what? This is how I feel about any relationship anyone is in…you have boundaries, you set the boundaries, you either make it worth within each other’s boundaries or you separate. However, I feel like maybe you’d feel a little more comfortable if he wasn’t actively degrading you with sentences like that. What else does he say to you? I’m sure that sentence alone made you feel inadequate. If you aren’t comfortable with strip clubs, that’s one things, but maybe it’s also what he says to you and how he makes you feel.
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Every relationship is different, personally my husband and I talk about eventually going to one together with our friend group. But if that makes you uncomfortable he should understand!!! And to have the audacity to say they can do stuff you can’t is totally unacceptable I’d feel the same way you do.
You’re upset at him for your lack of discipline? Typical these days.
Sorry to break it to you but no one is responsible for how you feel. No one can make you feel anything unless you give them permission. You can’t complain about what you allow. And you can’t control anyone else.
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If that sentence in quotes was literally what he wrote he would have been LONG gone in my book already.
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I broke my. By going with him tipping girls and having fun he lost interest fast.
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Run you deserve so much better I know you love him but this is a sad excuse of a man
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Don’t bend your boundaries to make others comfortable.
hugs.
I hope your not in for a battle or constant worry.
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We usually go together occasionally he will go out with the guys.
If your not comfortable with it and he can’t respect your boundaries then obviously there’s something fishy there I’m sorry to say it but if someone can’t respect you enough to respect your boundaries then he may not be the one for you, if he truly loves you then he would respect you enough to stop due to how your feeling and how it makes you uncomfortable.
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I used to be with a guy who liked going to the club with his friends every weekend. Even when I said I didn’t like him going, he still went. So i put on my fav little black dress and called my girls and we went out too!! He didnt like that very much. 
it’s all fine & dandy until WE do it to them. Anyways that was a toxic ass relationship & I left him years ago:joy:
Your situation sounds toxic as well boo. You can find someone better who will respect what you want!
Try something new, start striping for him at home. Spice things up!
I’d give. Him. A. Choice
Have you been to a strip club? The women are not all skinny and prity. They keep it dark in there for a reason. Of course they can do things you can’t do, hell, I can do things you can’t do. I assure you that he’s looking at fully naked women in porn also. How is he hurting you physically by going to a strip club? It’s 100% not cheating. If you expect him to change for you then you better be willing to changer for him if he has a problem with something you want to do. I think the best thing for you to do is learn to love yourself and get your insecurities in check for yourself.
Do it back! Go to a strip club full of hot half naked men who dance better than your dude. 
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U go to a male strip club and if he gets pisses use his excuse. They do what u cant
Every relationship is different. So what May work for some, may not work for another. However if it bothers you and your partner isn’t respecting that, Then this is the issue.
A good partner will respect boundaries and not do things that cross them or make you feel crazy for having boundaries.
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Dump him. He doesn’t love you if he did he would take your feelings into consideration period . do not force yourself to feel comfterble or let him gaslight you into thinking your crazy for how ypu feel your feelings are valid and if he cannot respect them I’d say adios dude 
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I’d dump him for his inability to use correct grammar when he texts you. That hurt my head to read. 
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If you and your person cannot agree on relationship boundaries, that person is not for you. The person that is for you, will have like minded views on these sorts of things. The point of dating is finding out what does and doesn’t work for you. People tend to fall in love and get way too serious before they even know what is and isn’t ok in a relationship. Learn these things about your partner in the dating stage, and if it bothers you and not something that is changeable (and views on these subjects usually aren’t), then move on. I would expect whoever I am with to make the same decision if I am not what they want. It’s not fair to try to change someone when you knew what they were to begin with.
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DUMP THE WORTHLESS MEAT PILE. what a HORRIBLE person. My husband straight up DIPPED when his brother tried to bring him to a strip club before we got married. He looked at his brother and said “if I wanted to look at other naked women I wouldn’t be getting married tomorrow.” Do NOT. I repeat DO NOT let him run your mind in circles. Time to bounce.
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The fact that he’s putting strip clubs over his relationship and saying “they can do things you can’t” is disgusting. And it sounds like he frequents them often. I wouldn’t be with a man who was so nonchalant and uncaring about my feelings.
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He doesn’t give a shit about you or your feelings. Walk away. You don’t deserve that.
All you people laughing are probably the ones who don’t see the red flags and end up getting cheated on cause y’all naive and stupid.
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It honestly sounds like you are not in a good place to be in a relationship at this time and should focus on you and healing. Aside from the issue of strippers (which as a former dancer I can tell you, they don’t want your man) and the strip club, it’s hard to trust and love someone truly if our self esteem is low.
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If we didn’t have financial priorities I wouldn’t care but since we do have them no I wouldn’t be okay with it.
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I am the same way when it comes to stuff like that. I know how you feel.
Narcissistic asshole. Dump him
Get rid sounds like a manipulative narcissist
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You should see a therapist and work on your self esteem issues and trust issues instead of trying to control him for your own peace of mind . Banning him because you have a personal problem isn’t right
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Well… I would want to know what they were doing for him that he enjoys so much… Seamed like a very odd statement to make to me… But if he wants to be worry free. He shouldnt be in a relationship…I do believe you said well they can do thing you can’t??? Girl you can do better in my personal opinion… See your way out and find a man that appreciates you for you… Run… Like there’s no tomorrow… This is NOT love
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So I personally don’t give a damn. BUT if I did and he went anyway we’d have a problem.
Dump him and work on your self esteem! He doesn’t deserve you! No, he should not go to strip clubs if he is in a relationship and you are not ok with it!
If it makes you uncomfortable and he doesn’t care, it won’t get any better.
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Leave him. It’s not the point of the what he’s doing it’s the point of, your uncomfortable and he doesn’t care. I wouldn’t do anything that makes my husband uncomfortable and he would do the same for me. Bc we love each other and we care how each other feels. A relationship is not about ones self it’s about the two as a whole. & marriage take a lot of work he’s obviously not marriage material for you. He needs to be with someone who has the same views as he does and same with you
You want a future with that???/
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No. The crap people do to people they “love” is appalling.
You have every right to be upset about it! For the right amount of money a stripper will do ANYTHING! I mean that’s what there there for… MONEY! It is cheating! Do not tolerate it for no reason! Be DONE!
If he really loved you, he wouldn’t even want to go to strip clubs. It’s time to trash can him.
Just drop him.
You’ll be like 150+ pounds lighter after that
Your. Happiness. Comes. First.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
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You need to work on yourself and the only way you can do that is by dumping this dude. He’s just manipulating you.
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Throw the whole man away …I am sincerely sorry for you…I can only imagine if he acts like that over something so small how he would act about other things smh if you want a man find one that will build your confidence up not tear it down …wish u the best
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He’s not the one for you. This is a combination of him not respecting your relationship boundaries and you not feeling confident it yourself.
But as an ex stripper I will say you have every right to be concerned. Most of the girls will have s*x in the back rooms. Not all, but he could easily find a girl that would. Being an ex stripper I would never be okay with my man going to the club by himself, and he wouldn’t even want to.
I went to the strip club with my man and equally enjoyed it
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If he loves you he would never say they can do things u can’t… That’s like u saying u go somewhere to see other guys because they can do things your man can’t how would he feel. You want a man who builds you up not one who tares you down… In my last relationship my ex would go to the strip club occasionally but I went with him played pool and had some drinks… Next time he says he’s going tell him your going with him if he refuses then you know it’s more than that… If he doesn’t mind you going go and have fun but also pay attention to his actions they will speak for themselves… A man who talks down to their woman doesn’t deserve to have that woman… He has narcissistic traits showing don’t loose yourself and your worth for someone who will never appreciate the woman you are
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What you accept will become your future.
Know your worth.
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Thank the lord he is just a boyfriend. That means there are less complications to dump him if this is such an important issue to you and he has expressed he doesn’t care.
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This isn’t about him at this point, it’s about you. Your low self esteem is what you need to work on. This relationship won’t work and neither will any of them shall you have them if you don’t work on that. I’ve been there and my relationships failed because I made others feel like they had to make me feel good about myself. You need to work on yourself rather than seeking validation from another person. We all have insecurities, that’s normal but you can’t throw those off on someone else. Now he shouldn’t have said all he did but at the same time you also need to work on you so that you can be more confident. Please focus on working on your self confidence before anything, don’t continue to seek validation from another. It’ll be better for you and create much healthier relationships.
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If he wont come around to see if from your point of view.
Then leave. Nothing you say will change his mind. He will go behind your back. And it will mess with you even more. Not worth it
I’m probably going to catch alot of shit for this, but here we go. I completely disagree with the things he’s said to you. However, it seems pretty selfish that you don’t want him to go because of how you view yourself. He has no control over how you feel about yourself, that’s on you. Even if he says that you don’t look like they do, it’s still on you. My previous marriage completely changed the way I feel about things when it comes to relationships and jealousy is severely overrated. Life’s too short to be constanty worried about someone else. My suggestion, it’s probably best you two find someone you’re each more compatible with.
Do the same shiiii he does to u
If you aren’t enough for him find someone who is
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Omg have you seen the girls that strip in the clubs 
disgusting!! They wouldn’t make me insecure at all!!
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Guess he has a decision to make you or them…
Only when together 
Push this out a few decades and you’ll both be middle aged and the patriarchal double standard will still be in place, so guess where your man will be? still going to clubs watching 18 - 30 year old girls dancing naked, figure out if thats what you want cause its a virtual certainty if you stay
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I dunno what is with women today. If I had a boyfriend and He wants to go to the strip club? I’m right there sitting at perv row with my loonies. Boo what’s a lap dance? Ill pay for it lol
I am comfortable within myself to know who he would be coming home to at the end of the night.
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You set a boundary and explained why you’re needing to set it. He doesn’t want to respect that boundary. There will be plenty of guys who will respect that boundary. Plain and simple.
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I would go to some male strip shows, or watch them on Netflix in front of him. See how he likes it! Compare him to them physically, and mention that they do things he can’t.
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