If he cared about you he wouldn’t do it…period. He’s giving you a preview of what life with him will be like.
It is all about trust & your own personal self.
Communication & respect is the key. Mostly trust. X
It never bothered me. I just don’t care about it. I agree with the above response if he’s gonna cheat there’s nothing in the world that will stop him. Especially being told where he can and cannot go. If you don’t trust him, move on and make both of you happier
My husband and I went to many. If u are secure with each other wtf is a problem? The problem is u. Being jealous is a turn off. Big time. Get a new boyfriend and let him go to someone he can have fun with. Geeeeez. Problem solved
The problem isn’t the strip club, it’s the fact that he’s ok with you being hurt by his going. He’s ok with you being hurt. Instead of putting your feelings ahead of his entertainment, this isn’t like you’re asking him to give up something vital or even important, it’s entertainment… Serious red flags to me about whether or not he cares about you in general. This falls in the ~ never ask anyone to accept and/or do something sexual, even though they hate it ~ category. IMO
Since he doesn’t care how you feel, you get decide how much you do.
regardless of what it is that makes you uncomfortable or disrespected: strip clubs, staying out late, etc. if he knows you are made to feel uncomfortable or disrespected by his actions, he should change that aspect of his life if he loves you and truly wants to be with you. Love means compromising on situations not compromising yourself.
R u kidding me
Go out with the girls and see male strippers why should he have all the fun then maybe you both will get all hot and bothered and have a good time together good luck
He loves himself more than you. If your ok with that stay if not get out.
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Why would you want too be in a relationship with some one keeps you in tears.Imagine a lifetime of tears. He is showing his true colors. Loose him . Listen too Chain Of Fools. You deserve better.
As long as he is coming home to you that’s all that should matter. As for your self esteem that’s something you need to work on. Don’t punish him because of you not being comfortable in your own skin.
If he doesn’t understand how you feel and doesn’t stop maybe it’s time to move on with your life .
Strip clubs are for single men and bachelor parties. If he thinks it’s ok to go, then he thinks of himself as a single man who has the right to look at women. That’s enough to break it off. The strip club issue has nothing to do with your low self esteem. That is something you must heal within yourself.
Sorry, you will cry many tears if you stay with him.
Get out Quickly while you can, and find someone you can Trust.
There is No Future in this Relationship.
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Why the F$%K do you care? There are strip bars for woman too. Most husbands are all talk and no action. Most don’t have the b@lls to go through with it. And, if they do, they aren’t worth the Air that they breath.
If your feelings about this isn’t enough for him to stop,then he has no respect for you.cut him loose.you should be enough.find someone who cares,plus it’s a moral issue also.
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I’d cry too if I couldn’t master to, two, too, or 2 …
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Show him your post. You’ve explained it very well. He sounds like a selfish moron to think this is ok. His playboy days are over and he needs to grow up. When he married he took on another (adult) responsibility.
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Number 1 rule you should always feel good about yourself.
Number 2 if anyone doesn’t appreciate your body they actually don’t belong in your life.
Him going to strip clubs should already give you a sign that he actually doesn’t love you the way you are… And for you to even write about it on this platform you already know the sign that he’s not for you.
Up to individual couple. It seems he doesn’t respect you enough so if you continue to settle for him then the disrespect will continue.
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Run while you can it won’t get better, he is not the one.
You are responsible for yourself and how you feel about yourself. As long as you continue to stay in relationships that don’t line up with your ethics and morals you will miserable. As long as you put your self esteem on the back of the person you are seeing you will always be disappointed no matter what they do or don’t do. If he wants to go to the strip club and have fun without worrying about someone else let him go. If you don’t like what he is doing and it’s no fun for you then leave. You can’t control him but you can control yourself and your own environment. I personally do not want my husband at the strip club. In fact. I’m really surprised at how many women don’t mind that there’s other naked females grinding on their husband or boyfriend before coming home to them. I’m also really surprised that other women would tell you to go work on your self esteem and let your man go have his fun. Anyway… let him go. Doesn’t mean you have to be sitting there waiting for him to return. There’s a better fit out there for you. Just don’t waste your time on guys like this or you will be too busy being miserable to notice them.
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He is being selfish. If you two agree that it wont hurt the relationship that would be different. He is being disrespectable.
Don’t feel badly my dear, you are fully clothed and the strippers are naked. Where is their self esteem? Hold your head up high as you portray the behavior of a real Lady.
I don’t have a problem with it.
I’m short 4’10 and overweight.
I’m sure he would enjoy seeing someone younger and in better shape.
I know if I wanted to go he’d be fine, but, I’m 56 and I’ve seem Chippendale dancers Foxy Frenchman plus others I’ve desire to go anymore.
The same with porn, he’ll watch it, I watch it and we watch it together.
My motto is you can window shop all you want, but don’t touch the merchandise unless it’s your celebrity crush
Sounds like she needs therapy to work on her insecurity and self-esteem issues. It’s called “Self-“ esteem, “self-“confidence, etc because it is something that only comes from within yourself. It is work you must do yourself, about yourself, for yourself. Putting it on your partner to restrict themself so you don’t feel bad about yourself will destroy your relationship.
This is a HUGE reason people end up cheating. Because they end up not feeling safe to be honest about things that they enjoy that their partners try to control, guilt-trip, or emotionally manipulate them about. They end up finding people whose values align better with theirs, at least on that specific thing, and that feeling of validation and ability to be themselves without having to suppress their desires is heady.
If you and your partner don’t share those values, they’re not the right fit. Instead of trying to make your partner feel bad for doing things they enjoy that you feel threatened by… either change your expectations or find yourself a different partner whose values align with your own. Learn to control yourself and your emotional behavior, instead of trying to control others.
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Them strippers can do so much I cant. But, i do everything they cant for my husband too. We go together. I enjoy watching the show
My two cents. If you are feeling insecure, the first thing you must do is take care of yourself. Join a gym, do online classes, clean up your diet, start a new hobby, read some books… there’s endless amounts of things that you can throw yourself into to focus on yourself. It sounds like right now you need to concentrate on you. Why don’t you do yourself a favor and learn some routines yourself? There’s many tutorials on how to strip for your partner. It might be a playful and enjoyable thing for both of you, and then you can know that you can also do what they do, even better because you know what your man likes. Maybe someday, you could even go to a club together, who knows? As someone who suffers from low self-esteem, I am very familiar with this feeling. I have to take care of myself when I feel low, getting my nails done or getting a 20-minute chair massage is sometimes all it takes for me to feel right as rain! You need to fall in love with yourself right now, if you are in love with yourself, you will be irresistible to others, be it your partner or somebody else:heart:
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How would he feel about you going to a male strip club? I am not telling you to go! He might say it is fine. Then I would think he had no feelings about anyone but himself. God says that it is adultery just to look on a woman with lust!
I think you might want to look for another boyfriend who cares more for you than himself. You deserve that. It is character and personality that determine a person’s worth, not just looks. If he does not care that he is hurting you, then he is not the one.
If looking at some strippers is more importante than your feelings and he said rude things to you… Better change a boyfriend, there are many good guys out there
Guess you need to get over. Yourself, those woman are not available and obviously he just wants a fantasy.
Never had a problem with that, my husband took me with him. I got as much attention as the girls. I dressed sexy, but classy. Believe me, those 1/2 girls are only interested in the money, not your boyfriend. Don’t make it a big deal as long as he doesn’t bring anyone or anything home.
I was engaged to my husband and he said for his bachelor’s party they was taking him to a strip club, I told him I didn’t like the idea of him going. We was going to be getting married so why would he want to look at other woman. I ended up telling him if you go I won’t be able to marry you. To me if he is going to strip club checking out half naked woman and they could rub their bodies on him, give him lap dances and even worse, which at the time someone I knew went to them and the woman gave extra special treats to the men, I definitely didn’t want my fiance to go. It ended up being a flop for him and they went and shot pool, I seen him that evening and we ignored each other. I didn’t want to interrupt his bro time, but he did look bored.
Can’t ask a man not to be a man… My view. It’s in their nature. Genetics. I can’t stand it when women get mad about guys with porno. Don’t get mad, shit, go with them and watch it too. Enjoy it with them. I am sure that would be a turn on for them. Self confidence is a must. Take care of U first before you want to take on others. Can’t pour from an empty cup yo.
If he can get turned on by that. And then come home to her. Then No. Would Not have it. Dump him!!!.Thank God he is Only a boyfriend. If you marry him, he’ll Really think it Ok.
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Tell him they can get anyone they want and it won’t be him. So he can give 2 up for a night of fun like that
So happy he is still your boyfriend. DUMP HIS ASS NOW!!! He will never change. P.s. take a good long hard look at the men you are attracted to. Your ex did it to you, now the boyfriend wants to do it to you…see the pattern. Good luck.
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Your feelings will matter to someone who genuinely cares about you. They will respect your feelings and either change their behaviour or tell you they are unable to and move on.
You have decent values and a guy with decent values will think it is super hot!
So let the strip club wanker turn into an ex so you can get yourself free to focus on loving you. When you get so you are comfortable in your own skin- you’ll be ready to allow a decent person in romantically.
Give yourself time to heal sweetheart. You are better than this nonsense.
Dont comprise your values. He wont change and will want more risque behavior in time. Move on.
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Obviously it’s bothering you, especially if it brings you to tears. Communication is important in a relationship, and so is compromising. If his need to look at busted strippers is more important than you sitting at home crying on the couch about it, then maybe he’s not the guy for you. Not every guy feels the need to go to strip joints. 
I think the strip club is not the issue in your relationship. I seems you have different views of what a relationship is. The two of you need to decide that, in addition to you need to work on your self esteem issues. Until you have worked through and resolved your issues, I’m afraid this and future relationships are doomed. Unless you work on this, you will always be insecure, whether it’s a strip club, bowling, a hunting trip, anywhere he is that you aren’t will cause you stress, and that is not emotionally healthy.
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He should be single. And, fact is, most guys wouldn’t handle a woman going to a guys strip show, & then saying that same stuff to them , either. It’s a huge waste of money too . You need a new guy . He has no respect for you. And he’s proven it, in both his words & actions.
your bf is not responsible for your self love. YOU Are. your bf is not responsible for your happiness. You are. Looking is not cheating. Getting emotionally involved and physically touching someone else not your partner is cheating. You can not blame your partner for looking at other woman and how that makes you feel about yourself. YOU are in charge of how you feel and love yourself.
Does he need it to get turned on like watching porn? Hmmmmm. I frankly didn’t like my
Hubby going to a strip joint. I asked would he like it if our daughters were strippers and men were lusting over them? Made him angry with my comment. I said well those women are daughters of fathers. Like in the song “don’t come home from drinking (in this case lusting over another woman) with lovin’ on your mind. My opinion
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Just dump him and move on. Only be with someone who boosts your self esteem, not lowers it. He doesn’t appreciate what he has in a woman who is not taking her clothes off in front of a bunch of lusting men.
It’s the couples decisions. This is where communication comes in.
I wonder how he would feel if she went to a male strip club and stated that she just needed time to herself and that they can do things that you can’t. I can almost guarantee that there would be a whole different attitude from his side. I think she should think long and hard about a future with this person. I doubt that he would suddenly become a different person if they did get married. I sincerely doubt that any more talking is going to change things if he is so indifferent to her feelings.
Ask him what if it was reversed and u were going saying the same thing He can do things you can’t how would he feel? I would say if you love and respect me you wouldn’t think of doing that. In really don’t know if this is going to work. If I can’t trust you there is no.point of this going any further. If he really lives you he may think about it twice if he doesn’t want to lose u. Its the same when they feel the need to watch pornography that makes a woman feel like she’s not enough for them also. Its disgusting and it makes you feel terrible. That they have the need to see someone else nasty naked. Gross
Doesn’t bother me as long as I’m getting the attention I require from the relationship. Goes both ways as well.
Strip clubs is like getting your nails and hair done. It makes you feel good about yourself and it’s shouldn’t be about looking and feeling good forself and not for the person you are involved with directly.
The strip club doesn’t become about the woman not being enough it’s about her becoming to much of a stress.
You can lose him from being insecure as well as not enough. Being secure more than enough for yourself and him.
Be the woman he comes home to from the club than knows she’s more than enough.
People can do whatever they like. Would you stop eachother if you partner was invited to a stag do or you a hens night at a strip club? As long as you love eachother and dedicated to eachother then something like a strip club is just trivial
Nope. Not for me. I’d tell him , take your fantasy world sex and strippers on to the club. But you however will not take family money to pay for it. It’s a business. I’d be more pissed about the cash flow than him lusting over women.
Honestly honey, drop him. Not over the strip club thing, because we can all look as long as we don’t touch, but leave him because of his terrible grammar. You don’t want to have children with a man who can’t write proper English🤣
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Girl dump his ass! It’s obvious he don’t respect you or love you! #thankyounext
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He doesn’t love you because he always put you down and putting the dancers first then you.
Can see no wrong in a guy OR a girl going to strip shows. I used( in my younger days ) to go with my girlfriend on a girls night out also went with my partner together, was always a good night out with plenty of laughs
I go with my husband because I myself enjoy the environment and I trust that my man still comes back home with me and tells me how much he’s lucky to have a nonstripper tramp 
he said they’re fun to look at but they degrade themself but if he ever said they do things you can’t I’d slap him and it’s be a wrap that’s disrespectful asf
Ask him what he would think of you going to a male strip club and bragging about it when you get home. That will not turn him on, l guarantee
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There’s 2 sides to every story and I don’t believe we’re getting the whole story. You have very very bad self esteem issues and I and I just wonder if you’re not putting a lot of that on him demanding he don’t do certain things including God including go to the strip club. Maybe hes overwhelmed with your request requests because of your insecurities
Maybe he’s not the one for you, as he doesn’t respect your feelings. What kind of love is that!?!
Tell him you’re going to go see male strippers with the girls and then play them up in front of him… how sexy they were, how toned their muscles were, how big their outfits made them look and the things they could do that he can’t.
I am married to a sailor. He goes to strip clubs with his shipmates when the hit a port of call. It used to really bother me but not so much any more. Why? Because when he comes home, he’s coming home to me. I learned over the years that i cannot change him, but i can change how i react to his behaviors. I know he has never cheated on me. I know he loves me! Maybe get dolled up one night and hit an all male review with some lady friends. You’ll see that its all going to be okay. HUGS
Try going w him. I used to go w my now ex. I had fun. I mostly put the money in the g strings of the strippers. Not all are bad some are respectful of couples. It might help ur confidence. And possibly make yalls relationship and bedroom time better
If he (or she, in any relationship!) says “They can do things you can’t” straight to your face, dump them. They’re no good.
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Would it be ok for you to go to a male strip club?
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I disagree. I don’t believe they are allowed to touch. Who cares where he gets his appetite as long as he comes home?
Shoot, go with him!
The question is, what is he getting from the strip club -what does it give to him and go from there
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Those women are unattainable and why worry about them. That is so stupid on your part but Bf doesn’t seem real mature either
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Look i don’t see anything wrong with men in general going to strip clubs or bars. Due to the fact that if he does i can too. There is no shame in a girl night out going to a all male strip bar or club. Maybe if you go and enjoy other men doing things he can’t do may he get the point. You should never tell a man not to do something because he do it faster. If you aren’ t married or engaged. You shouldn’t put restriction on your partners and even if your married you should have enough trust to let him or her go out without having an issue all the time. Remember you are the one he chose to be with that’s show how he feels about you. Insecurity on your part may push him away.
What a sleaze! He’s doing this now, imagine in future when you’re pregnant he’s spending time and money so he can watch, get a lap dance and even sex willing strippers on the side. You can do better than this low mentality. And by the way it is emotionally and physically cheating. A man does not have to have full intercourse to cheat.
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He is not going to change. You must decide if you can comfortably live with this. If not, cut it off now
That is not love!!! Mostly men have high expectations that women can do more to please men! If they want sex not love then they stay single !!! Sheesh!!
Well I wouldn’t go with him to a strip place and wouldn’t like him to,bad for your esteem, get rid of him if he needs this kind of stuff.,doubt if he would be the loyal type,personally I would get rid of him .
Go with him! There’s nothing at all wrong with it. Men are visual creatures; they like to look at alluring things and it has nothing to do with a lack of attraction to you.
I agree with you. In my opinion doing anything you know really hurts your partner is wrong. I couldn’t tolerate it.
I would go with my hubby for a one time deal I think it would be fun
If your man really loves you, he would not be desiring to look at other women. Turn him lose. Looks like more heart ache coming.
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Its time to say goodbye he has a problem that will only get worst save youraelf alot of hurt and get out now
Red flags. Read about porn addiction. It only gets worse. Time to move on. So sorry you are going through this.
It goes both way, men nor women should not go.
You’ve seriously got to get over it. It’s your SELF ESTEEM. No one else needs to boost you except you. This is your issue and not his.
So he’s ok with u going to strip clubs? Then u can say they can do things he can’t. If he can’t respect how u feel and disregard ur feelings then he dont care about u. As soon as u said I’m uncomfortable that should of told him no.
Well it says in the bible to lust after a women in your heart you have already committed adultery.
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Red flag sounds like a narcissistic person not caring on what you feel run as fast as you can and find a real caring man.
You’re not even married and he’s doing this?Get,get along little doggie and find someone who wants and respects you!!
When I lived in Pirtland we went all the time when we had guests. Most stripclubs per capita of any city in the US. Just kind of became a norm. Didnt turn me on or bother me. It was just another venue.
LEAVE NOW! If he doesn’t respect you now its only going to get worse!
Well girl , if you think that by goin with him to those places ,that will make you the amazing girlfriend to be proud ,you are wrong,first he don’t care about how you feel,I mean I understand a once in a blue time to go to a strip club and enjoy it ,but all the time isn’t good,second ,for me is like a insult he will be watching those girls bodies ,or having lap dancing,thatvis disrespecting you ,third he don’t even make time for both of y’all , at all ,he only thinking about his satisfactions ,so girl next time he want to go to a strip club, let him go,and you put your self together and go somewhere else,be you ,meet others ,cause definitely you are waisting your time with that sicko
Or take him to see male strippers who are knock out gorgeous well built and sexy, see if he likes it.
U 2 have different morals… and u can’t change another person, sooooooooo think this over…
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First, I would suggest you ask him would he be upset if he went to a Chippendale show. If he says he would be upset, then explain to him that is how you feel. If he says that he would not be, then maybe he more sure about himself.
I personally don’t see you going to a strip club as cheating but I don’t think it is something that someone in a relationship should do. Other than the whole looking at the opposite sex being dressed or not, they are usually pretty expensive to go to. You usually have to buy at least two drinks at cost around five to $10 each plus tip the dancers. If you honestly have that kind of extra money then maybe the couple can afford to do something together.
Now there are a few couples who like going to these clubs together. It is a form of foreplay for when they get back home.
First she can’t spell and she should get some esteem and get out!
Ask him if u can go to Chippendale show and tell him they can do things HE can’t! Dump him!
Insert any topic in this…if either partner in a relationship is uncomfortable with (insert topic) then it should be off the table.
There’s your warning right there sweetheart. Burn a track out while you can.
What does he mean they can do things she can’t?
Your partner is supposed to bring out the best in you not the worst. There is no right or wrong answer just do what is right for you
I think if it’s important to you than it’s important to you, either he agrees or not if not, then I would move on
What does he mean when he says “they can do things you can’t”?
You need to read “ Affair of the mind.” And also “The cleavers don’t live here anymore” that will answer your questions
And why are you still with him?
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