I went to a strip club with my fella got drunk the girls asked if I wanted a go on the pole so I Did it came out told my fella I wanted to work in a strip club he never went to one again 
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I’m not usually a grammer person but the use of two really buged me lmao 
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I would throw his ass out they can do things you can’t get rid big warning there girl xx
he has no respect for you love yourself build up your self esteem/self confidence go with him or see if any club in your area is having the magic mike xxl show/tour in if they are go see how he likes it
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After reading your post, you shouldnt be in a relationship full stop but merely single and working on your own insecurities.
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He was wrong for saying that they can do things that you can’t but you’re wrong for expecting him to not go because you’re insecure with yourself. I could see if you didn’t want him to go strictly because you felt like it was inappropriate but you don’t want him to go because you have issues with your own image. Work on you. As long as you feel like that, you’ll never feel good enough for anyone. It’s not his responsibility to coddle your insecurities, especially if you’re not seeking help for them.
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That’s a personal situation that is different for everyone…I know couples that it’s not an issue for…and I know some that feel it’s not appropriate once you’re in a serious relationship/marriage!
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Me & my husband go together, and have a good time.
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Go together. I see no issue personally but if you are uncomfortable with it then that’s something you need to discuss. My husband and I are very comfortable talking about other attractive people we might find attractive. There’s never any jealousy but we are very stable and strong and both have seperate lives as well at our lives together. It works well for us.
Throw the whole man out he sounds like a complete self centered, childish piece of shit
If you yourself isn’t enough for him
Then that says a lot about him as a man!
He clearly doesn’t have respect for you , and he clearly wants to see other women naked
Sweetie that isn’t love that’s a man whore
You should be plenty enough for him he shouldn’t be going other places to seek attention from other women this isn’t acceptable
His women he’s with aka “you” should be all he needs to satisfy his needs
- you deserve so much better
I would be 100 pissed off in this situation
He’s not going to change
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Honestly, I don’t see a problem with it on occasion. I’ve been to many gentlemen and strip clubs. There is a difference. Just cause he goes doesn’t mean he ia no longer interested in you or wants to cheat. Sounds like if your feeling hurt. Check it out yourself and give him his own personal lap dance and spice it up
Go and have fun with him! Me and my man go all the time and we have fun together!
It depends on the relationship.
I’ve never had any issue going to strip clubs with my partner or friends.
I think if you don’t like it then that’s totally fine !
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Get rid your better than that if he can’t love you for who you are not worth the bother 
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There’s nothing wrong with going to a strip club.hell get up there and dance you only live once.have fun stop being so judgemental and just have fun🦋living up your relationship.youll love it the exercise is so much fun.if you uncomfortable than do your own strip tease for your husband at home.but stop being so mean cause it’s different.
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Well he doesn’t even know correct grammar lol he’s clearly just dumb
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Nah, if she expressed her thoughts about it to him and he STILL wants to go, he’s not worth it. He doesn’t care about her feelings. Next!
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I wouldnt mind my hubby going. He can see women on the beach topless or in bikinis, its basically the same. We have a great relationship and I trust him completely. If on the other hand I didn’t feel comfortable with him going I know that he wouldn’t go.
I used to go with my ex to the strip club all the time. I’ve gone to the strip club with men I’ve dated to!!! Some people look at it as being taboo I see nothing wrong with it. There’s some strippers that I’ve seen that I admire that body and how they can dance on a pole. You need to get your self-confidence up sorry to say that but that’s just my opinion. Do things that make you feel good. At the end of the night he’s not going home with a stripper he’s coming home to you
Bottom line, if you don’t like it, don’t pretend you do. He’ll either stop going to keep you from feeling yucky about it and preserve the relationship, or jeopardize the relationship to preserve his ability to go look at women and give them his money. Then you’ll have your answer.
Figure out what you want. Then accept no substitutes…
Before we were married my husband went to a strip club for his bachelor party and it didn’t bother me a bit. He has gone a few other times and still doesn’t bother me. I trust my husband and we both know who is going home to and that’s me.
Leave him and go get some therapy!! You will always find something wrong with any man you are with due to your lack of self love and low self esteem. Fix yourself before you try to be in any relationship!!
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Scrum of the earth!! Why are you with him!!!
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My son goes to strip clubs and his gf is ok with it. They trust each other.
That boy is trash. & you need time to learn self love for YOU to have healthy relationships/boundaries
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In some relationships those places are within their boundaries. Some aren’t. It is o.k. if it is a boundary for you! We are often made to feel guilty about having boundaries and we shouldn’t. If he can’t respect those boundaries, then maybe he’s not your person. Or maybe he will listen after you discuss it further. It is up to you to decide what things you want to compromise on.
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Yes. They are men and they are not like women.
Your partner has been honest and not tried to hide from you. I would work on my own self image, qqnd confidence qnd thank my stars my partner is honest and trustworthy xx
- If you’re insecure you shouldn’t be in a relationship
- If he can’t respect you when you tell him something, especially on something that hurts you, he isn’t the one.
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You need to be less insecure about yourself, End Of Story.
If you step up your game & please your man he will not feel the need to seek sexual interactions elsewhere.
If you don’t want to do that, then don’t be upset when he turns twords strip clubs, porn, & hooters😂
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Ask him if he is good with you going to a male strip club. They have them all over. Guys like the Chipendales . they are professional male strippers. Maybe he could see your side concidering most male strippers are extremely buff and very good looking. You and your girls go . if he wont stop then either get another boyfriend or take up male strippers.
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I don’t like strip clubs either but my boyfriend and I have a deal there’s no dances . You can go but you are Not paying a woman to dance on you or male(in my case) . But he’s a dick for saying those things that isn’t right.
Disrespectful in my opinion
Regardless of the topic he doesn’t respect you or your feelings - get some self confidence and apply for a job at one even if you have no intention of doing it see how harmless and how much of a big deal he thinks it is then when the shoes on the other foot 
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Don’t let anyone tell u that u should accept this, work on urself, go with him, etc. If it makes u UNCOMFORTABLE, then it makes YOU uncomfortable! There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with u not wanting to accept this. Strippers look at it like a job. I get it. But that doesn’t mean u have to compromise on ur thoughts and feelings. And don’t let him, nor anyone else, shame u for ur thoughts and feelings. He has already made it crystal clear he intends to keep going. Or he will sneak going there and lie about it. He doesn’t care about ur feelings, which he’s already tried to make u seem wrong for feeling the way u do. That’s not love. He sounds like a manipulative, sleazy piece of bleep who needs to grow the heck up. He is definitely not ready for a grown-up relationship. Ur feelings mean absolutely nothing to him. That speaks volumes. Why waste any more time trying to get through to him? Uv wasted enough time and energy on the guy. I’d move on if it were me.
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I’m sorry but I’d punch my man straight in the jugular fuck off with that shit
Sounds like he is testing you,if you fall into his trap he will keep pushing till he is free to do what and who ever he pleases as long as he knows your at home crying,waiting for him.
Number one don’t know you for all I know you could be very pretty but not believe that you are, but whether or not you are or not shouldn’t matter because your worth isn’t what you look like on the outside but who you are on the inside.
Number 2 most people would probably not look at this as cheating,but if you look at this from a biblical perspective it is, because the Bible says if a man or woman looks at another man or woman lustfuly, they have already committed either fornication (single) or adultry( married) in their hearts, so even thou by the world’s standards he’s probably not cheating, by God’s standards he is.
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It’s not about “strip clubs” per say, but he does seem very immature, with superficial values, and has no respect for your feelings and this will likely reflect in other areas now and in the future. The question is, do you value and respect yourself enough to know that you deserve a real man who will also respect you without your needing to explain or beg? You should have standards, boundaries, and a moral compass that works for you and you stick to. Seek a partner who has a similar set of respectful boundaries, standards, priorities, and values…this will increase your chances of the relationship lasting and being happy and healthy.
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Frankly, I firmly believe him indulging in that is a red flag. It would be an incredible turn off, for me. People like to fool themselves into thinking looking is where it ends but yeah, it rarely ends with just looking.
It would be a total deal breaker for me. My thing is always this, DO NOT stay in an uncomfortable situation, simply because of familiarity.
It doesn’t matter that other people are fine with it. Forget them. What do YOU want? If it’s not this, then, the end. Don’t stay with someone making you miserable just because you fear loneliness. Another rule for me is, if you stress me out and you can’t compromise, cause that’s what strong relationships are about, we won’t work.
At the end of the day, it’s about what you want and what you need. Always ask yourself, “Am I happy now?” “Do I love this person or the fun memories we had?” There’s a difference.
Don’t let none of these people fool you into accepting dealbreakers, for you. Having standards and sticking to them vastly improves your chances of having a real connection with someone and eliminates most of the garbage and there’s a lot of these days.
Again, what do you want?
Get him chucked, if its that important for him to go look at other girls then let him do it, without you waiting at home for him.
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Wow. Why does he NEED the urge to to look at other women in underwear for if you don’t like it ?
How on earth would he feel if you went to look at other male syrippers just for fun…
Anyway know your worth, if he ain’t listening chuck him.
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It doesn’t matter what it is, if its making you feel that way & he knows it, he shouldn’t be going out his way to go & do it. I was a relationship like that, he didn’t go to strip clubs but done other things that made me feel a certain way, he obviously wasn’t arsed about my feelings thats why he’s an ex! X
Go to see a male review. Dont ask just go. As often as you can. Then say they do things he cant too lmao.
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Dump. He doesnt respect you.
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Have you communicated to your current bf that your ex bf used to say those things to you? If not, I’d for sure bring that up, because it might help him further understand your side of things.
I would say, if he isn’t man enough to respect your feelings and wishes, he isn’t man enough to be your guy. This is not a “strip clubs are good/bad”, or, “you should fix your issues” situation. We ALL have our own insecurities. The fact is, you told him how that makes you feel, and he shit on your feelings. THAT is the focus here. Only you can decide how you handle that, but if it were me, I’d really consider how he discredited you and whether or not he deserves your love at all.
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I met my husband of 24 years in a strip club nothing wrong with going to a strip club go with him and you’ll see that the women working in them only care about the money they can get from the men. Maybe work on yourself to get over whatever makes you feel so bad about yourself
I understand that you are insecure… but you shouldn’t try to control other people because of your insecurities that you aren’t dealing with.
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Tell him you’re going to a male strip club, see how he reacts
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If it barks like a dog…
It’s a dog!!!
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Facebook advice: worth what you pay for.
See out of my hubby and I when we were on vacation it was ME who wanted to experience a strip club. I told him I literally wanted both of us to go. Go together. Give him that experience. just my opinion. Then again it was me, who on vacation asked if we could eat at hooters so I guess I’m the different one in this thread
Leave him. Sex work is exploitation of women by men who don’t respect women. Run.
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All these people saying “fix yourself”, but there’s nothing wrong with the way you feel and if you don’t want your partner ogling at naked women, you don’t have to put up with it. He is clearly being disrespectful and grossly misogynistic and sounds totally incompatible with you. There are plenty of great people out there who have no interest in strip clubs or naked people gyrating all over each other. You don’t have to be “okay” with that. But you may want to think about finding someone else who more closely reflects your values who will not berate and disrespect you in the way that he has. That is an absolute dealbreaker for him to not only want to force you to go there but to then compare you with them and say you can’t do what they can. No… I’m sorry but that would be a wrap for me. Time to move on. He can waste the rest of his money and life away on strippers all he wants but meanwhile you only live once and you need not waste your time on a partner who does not treat you like an absolute queen. End of story.
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Oh please. Let your SO have some fun. This day and age bc of social media noone trusts their spouse. Alot of my friends have gps trackers and shit on their so. Fuck THAT. If you can’t trust your person, why you with em
So here’s my opinion, personally if that’s what you want to do then go for it…. But don’t get mad when I go out and do me boo 
but in this situation I’d say y’all are not a good fit for one another. What you are asking of your partner is not unreasonable. But in the same hand neither is what he is asking… so you need to decide if it is a dealbreaker for your relationship, if it is going to effect your mental health it should be a dealbreaker…
You have to love him for him you will not change him if you can’t do that you need to move on
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Red flags galore in this story. There’s no respect coming from him, quit wasting your time.
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Tell him to teach you what he likes that those strippers are doing orrrrrrr 
teach yourself, surprise him, and then dump him…
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I agree with you .I wouldn’t. Like it at all
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You should read sex at dawn by dr. Chris Ryan!
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I’d be telling him that he shouldn’t mind if I date other men too on the nights he’s at a strip club. After all they are better looking, richer, and give you compliments that he can’t. What a knobhead he is!!
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You need out of that relationship to work on your own self and your self esteem!
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Your business no one else!!
If you have insecurities about your body, why you not doing something about it? There are gyms or you can go and run, you will feel much better when you ll see the changes. This is not about him, it’s about you. You have to love yourself more than anything and you should do everything for you to feel great in your own body.
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Why not go with him a few times ? I danced my way thru college and met many couples that would come in, have a couple of drinks together, maybe even get a table dance, then leave arm in arm. LOL if it is not a club full of fine girls ( ie very expensive club , which means he isn’t going to get much attention anyway ) you may find you have absolutely nothing to be jealous of ! I took my jealous aunt to one and all xhe said was " and I was jealous of THAT !!! " and thought it was funny. She started telling my uncle that he should go to the strip club and get out of her hair. He didn’t want to go , started getting mad and accusing her of trying to get rid of him lmao. Learn to do a nice private table dance at home for him. Dance in front of a mirror when no one is home. Get fine. Let HIM worry about what YOU are up to. Find some things you like to do without him. A trip to the spa ( or talk him into going to the spa with you ) a nice ballet production, a nice dinner at a nice restuarant just for you , take a class you have always wanted to take…you can come up with several different things if you put your mind to it. Also, buy a water massage shower head and maybe a small vibrator for yourself. You are wonderful, you just ought to do some exploring.
I love couples when they come in. Maybe you should try going in with him. Us girls are really friendly and most of us have husbands or boyfriends
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Yes, I’ve been to one with my girls, and would have no issue with my partner going to one.
He doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t truly love you. No man who loves you would ever put you in a situation where you are uncomfortable. Period. Cause all I know is if it was the other way around and if you put him in a uncomfortable situation, he would be mad if he actually cared about you. If he doesn’t, he really doesn’t value your relationship together.
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They do things you don’t? Listen honey, right there he told you in plain English you’re not enough for his sorry ass (because HE’S defective - it has NOTHING to do with YOU!). The fact that he went at all tells you he doesn’t respect women, let alone you, and he’s a degenerate lowlife. He also doesn’t care about your feelings and has no idea what commitment and love mean. He’s a child mentally…get away from him. He doesn’t deserve even one of your tears and guess what - he doesn’t care. You are never going to change him - this is who he is. Next - your self esteem should never be influenced by what your partner does or thinks or says. Work on you…go get therapy and see why you feel this way…you don’t have to. You’re worth far more than diamonds…do what you need to do to believe it.
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Your partner should be helping you to build your self esteem brick by brick. You need some alone time to work on you.
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Dang strip clubs don’t bother me at all. We can go together or without each other haha
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They are going to cheat either way . you can’t control another person
I refuse to …be anyone babysitter
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OK so I’m in a relationship and I have no problem with the rare occasion for stag do etc for my fella to go, we have just had an discussion and if he/me were going alot or they were wanting one on one or stage attention then I would lose it as would he if the shoe was on the other foot. I have been to men strips clubs and its a laugh with my girlfriends but I would never disrespect my fella. Its all about respect for the others feelings, if he can’t understand then maybe he needs so time by himself to see what he truly wants xx
I completely emphasize with you. But, you’re got to let this go baby. Honestly, it has nothing to do with you. And believe me, the second they cum is the last second they ever think of her again
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You’ve tried to explain your hurt. If he’s not only refusing to quit going but also gaslights you and creates more insecurities especially comparing you to other women, you’re just gonna have to throw the whole man out and start over. No reason to feel this upset for the rest of your life!!! You deserve to feel secure and celebrated and loved not hurt and confused and insecure.
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Serious issues there…my ex did that and I ended up with an STD so it can be more than just watching
If he wont listen move on the next bloke might not be such a Karen.
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This is a little weird you start the conversation about your bf but then state ex? And towards the end of your statement you mention your ex said “they can do things you can’t”. So, which one is it? Secondly, ask whoever it is what they can do that you can’t. I mean how is he to know you can or can’t do it if you he never asked you. Also, remember guys are guys they are going to check out other ladies regardless clothes on or not. At least he is having a honest conversation with you about it, he could just go behind your back.
Offer to go with him…go with an open mind and a wad of singles look for some male strippers and enjoy…hell enjoy the female strippers as well…it doesn’t have to be a sexual experience it can be fun… nothing wrong with complimenting a woman dancer it doesn’t make u gay just loosen up
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My fiance and I go allll the time to the strip club, we have a blast too u can’t be insecure or jealous… it won’t work.
My stance on this has changed over time. I used to see no issue w/it. Not anymore. It’s about mutual respect. You’re not comfortable. He either respects your feelings & respects your relationship or he doesn’t. To continue his frequenting of these businesses is to put strip clubs above his respect for you & your relationship. That’s not ok.
To say they do things you can’t - that’s not a red flag. That’s a deal breaker. Think about what he’s really stating.
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That would be a game changer for me. Bye, bye. He isn’t considerate of your feelings. He has you, shouldn’t need to ogle other women. Sounds like he has insecurities. Don’t let him gaslight you. You can do better.
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If he don’t think of it as cheating it’s because ITS NOT! and not to be rude but if u have self esteem issues don’t put it on him and make a deal out of everything…that type of club is no big deal not that serious…if u trust him 100% then there’s no issues on who goes…u or him…if u trust him him then u wouldn’t have to ask this question…try going with him and have an incredible time instead of being one of those weak woman…men love women who are down for anything not weak woman who are so sensitive and have issues like your protraying…not trying g to be mean but get over whatever issues u have trust ya man…n make it work open yaself up girl…or be single…won’t last otherwise…
sorry but there’s nothing g worse then a weak woman who acts like u r…ur making yourself be “in tears right now”…
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It’s a not ok from me ,
He ovously goes often and has a addiction to them with those types of comments to u not doing g what they do ,and half naked 
no its full naked an extras on pay roll out the back .
It’s a seedy world
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Yah, it like when they get a massage and a happy ending… That isn’t cheating either… BS… Why shouldn’t us girls get a happy ending too… Fair is fair right… Not hardly, find a ladies review and take your GF’s… See how he likes that…
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I read this and then asked my boyfriend what he thinks and he said why would he want to pay to go and look at other women he said it would make him feel uncomfortable and I said if I was going to a make stop club how he would feel he said if that’s what you want then who am I to stop you however I don’t feel the need to want to do that and not does he we both said if it was someone’s hen or stag that would be a little different ask him how he would feel if it was the other way round? I mean is he going with his friends or just on his own! Before I got with my oh o felt insecure and he helped me find my confidence and I really don’t have a perfect body althoe he makes me feel as thoe I’m all he wants. I think you should get your confidence you are who you are and there is no such thing as the perfect body or the prettiest face! He has no respect if he knows he’s hurting you and he may not be cheating but what is it that he’s saying to you they do things you can’t what are these things? If he doesn’t respect your feelings it may be time to find someone who does no matter how much you love him! Best of luck
If u aren’t comfortable with it then it’s a straight up No . I myself have no issues with it cause I enjoy going to strip clubs. but if u are not then it’s a no for both of u it’s that simple . And if you explain that you are not comfortable n if he goes it will definitely hurt your feelings n he still goes mama you have some rethinking to do in my opinion. Do what’s best n good for me not him sweetheart pls
I will go with my man…you damn right some of those girls can do things I can’t…I trust my man and know my self esteem is MY responsibility…maybe you are just not healed enough to have a healthy dynamic and that’s okay…I would be careful pushing you insecurities in someone else cause it’s a relationship killer…
Omg I dated someone like that, best advice, RUN, huge red flags and sorry he doesn’t love you, that’s disrespectful to you as a woman, move on I know it’s hard but you can do it 
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Every guy has fancies, but if he wants to waste money and drag you to strip clubs, dump him. You and any woman are more then just a body. I M sure he is not some male model either. Would he go with you to a male strip club? Love needs to be more then surface deep. We all get old and looks go away, but the love of each other, that needs to grow deeper through time and both of you need to work to make that happen. I couldn’t imagine going to a strip club with my wife. Leave now, you deserve better!
try having a man who thinks brothels are the way to go
I personally wouldn’t stand for it, I also have a very bad image of myself, and my bf does everything he can possibly do to make me feel good about myself and would never dream of going to a strip club or say anything like that to me. Same vice versa aswell, he doesn’t go to strip clubs and neither do i, when you’re in a relationship that should be enough for you, without having to go and watch other half naked people 
I absolutely love going to strip clubs with my partner but I also love girls too n I always have a blast with strippers
Strip clubs are a waste of money and ridiculous its all about showing off at a certain point in you’re life a man should think of it as immature and take care of his chick and she will reciprocate
Sophie Louise Gambon wanna go???
Dress up & go out to singles bars & flirt with other m**. Show him 2 can play this game, & you might meet someone better, because his answer is showing you that he expects you to just be a doormat & take it
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I would never be with a man that goes to see strippers… ever…
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Dump him now. If he needs to do this and it hurts you when he does this is not hoing to work.
Tell him he can have the nights he wants to enjoy himself without having someone else to worry about because you’re done with him.
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