Going to a strip club isn’t about you. Some me like to go to relax and just hang out. I like it when my man goes because he brings the desire home to me. I’m perfectly OK with him going because I know there is not a straight man alive on a day-to-day basis I don’t see a pretty woman and admires her. Whether she’s clothed or not.
Go with him every time he goes. That’s what I did. Eventually he will stop going.
1 Like
Just go with them and get hellu drunk.
If your doing anything in a relationship that makes this other uncomfortable you should wanna change it. The fact he doesn’t kinda shows where he values your feelings and self worth. Self centered and a man child in my opinion.
If he can’t respect your feelings he might not be the right guy for you. The strip club isn’t the issue, it’s whether he respects you or not and he clearly does not
2 Likes
Have you seen some of these strippers??? 
I wouldnt be concerned
11 Likes
Just for the level of spelling/grammatical errors he sent, the bloodline clearly needs to die with him and so he has to get dumped…the other issues are just stuff to make the break up easier 
2 Likes
I think he is insensitive and selfish , if you can’t be loyal in all ways to your mate , DON’T GET MARRIED!
1 Like
Ask him to go with him
sweetie you worry about him and strip club I see where you need to step back from him and work on you, there is some healing you need to do within you your self-esteem, and all the other things you’ll actually doing more damage to yourself heal love
2 Likes
I stopped reading at the point where you’re saying your BOYFRIEND said to you that “they do things you can’t”… so I’m going for brutal honesty here hun, DUMP HIM! That is NOT something your boyfriend should say to you at all. So what’s next? He cheats because there’s something sexual you don’t want to do? I mean REALLY think about that one statement alone. Not normal hun. You deserve better. Good luck!
15 Likes
Strippers are doing a job tbh many would disagree but I don’t see the harm of a partner going to one if you trust your partner. Strippers put on an entertaining show and I’m happy to go myself. If it makes you worry that’s your own insecurities and lack of trust in your partner. If you’re comfortable with sexuality and see it as what it is, not as your partner looking for something you cannot give him, then it shouldn’t be a problem. Going to a strip club isn’t necessarily a disrespect to the partner at home. It’s a fun night out, bit of flirting, bit of looking at fit bodies, it doesn’t mean you’re not fitting the standards of your partner but if there’s real trust there looking at a semi naked woman shouldn’t cause you distress. Open and honest sexuality should be good for the soul
2 Likes
Ok so what I am reading is because you have your own insecurities, it makes you uncomfortable when he attends these… if you trust him and he loves you… why would you stop a partner from doing things the like. Even when it doesn’t involve you, it’s easier said than done. But when I love someone I want them to be happy.
My husband knew I had no problem with this. Its entertainment that’s it. If you can’t trust your partner then your relationship isn’t worth having.
1 Like
It comes down to trust. No offense but I think you have trust issues. You can’t touch the girls. If he’s going to cheat, I would hope he wouldn’t pick someone with that kind of job. If he goes with his friends once in a big while, I wouldn’t worry about it. You need to get over all of your destructive feelings.
3 Likes
I use to pay my first husband to go, just to get off my back and give me some free time. My current husband and I will sit back at the beach and pick people out for eachother.
Find someone else… He’s going to go regardless… and I’m sorry, but they can do things you can’t. Wtf does that mean . You deserve better , you will find better, tell him to go have fun… and then ghost his ass
5 Likes
Go with him! Its more fun than youd think and it might help ease your mind.
He doesn’t respect your boundaries. You should kick him to the curb.
2 Likes
Run, fast, don’t look back. He will always cheat and blame you. Get out now!
1 Like
My husband worked as a bouncer a couple of times in a completely nude dance club and I didn’t care he came home to ME and that’s what mattered some times you can push him away with questions about going to the club he’s wrong to come home and make comments to you about what they can do that you can’t but you know 2 can play at his game why don’t you go to a male strip club see how he likes it
1 Like
You are enough !! Then men you are in a relationship are lacking !! There are so many things in this post though … now his comment is mean and supposed to hurt coz really girl you could spin round a pole flash your bits and take the cash and create a fantasy … coz that is all they do … look at it from the girls point of view do you think they really care about the men there or interested in anything but there money !!! You could put some sexy stuff on and wiggle your bum it’s not hard !!! But and this is the big but …. That man does not deserve it ! You need to work on you so you feel beautiful for you, once you are comfy with yourself you won’t need any man to make you feel good !!
Your problem doesn’t start with your boyfriend and strip clubs!! The self esteem you lack is the first problem here. I feel as if you’re attempting to manipulate a situation because of what you an individual can’t handle. When he says they do thing’s you can’t they’re strippers,they swing on poles and create fantasies and most of the time send their customers home. Maybe you should introduce some exotic stuff in your relationship as it might help you feel more confident in your sex appeal and self esteem as well help him rely on you for his sexual entertainment. It has to be a compromise so both can be happy.
yoo sister can I be totally real with you there is someone out there who will care enough that your uncomfortable i now deep inside you love him to bits but wtf where is your respect from him , they can do things you can’t what does he mean by that if you aren’t more than enough then he isnt the one get him to fuck please xxxxxxxx
2 Likes
You relationship is just for fun. If you want something serious, you need to leave him,
1 Like
Well that would be a trust issues. You either trust or don’t trust your partner.
3 Likes
‘They can do things you cant’ wtf!!! What kind of strip club he going to???
My thing is … Most girls are there to take that mans $$$…thats it. But sounds like hes found a lil extra at his club. You need to find out!
Play him at his own game…!!!..then dump him!!..take care of you
I don’t think it’s cheating if he goes unless he’s doing something physically with the girls. No one can tell you not to feel a certain way about him just going. If you feel uncomfortable with him going, that should be enough for him not to go. Just as if you did something that made him uncomfortable, you wouldn’t do it or go.
If it’s hurting you then he needs to rethink going and if he continues to go, it’s up to you what you decide.
But I agree with you. I’d be uncomfortable too.
2 Likes
go with him that’s what i did but i feel the same way i don’t want my man giving money to other women
It will hurt yo let go of him but a short term hurt is better than a hurt for life go to an meeting on addictions n self esteem he could be addicted to sex fantasized n they help u deal with it you also can learn to deal with the hurt u suffered calles mental abuse when u feel good about yourself u will leave him unless u see he needs help for something
I allowed it. Face it his 100 bucks isn’t going far and he can’t touch.
2 Likes
They dont cook clean ect for him so next time give him that perspective… Better yet stop doing what you do for him til he pays you stripper wages 
Dear Lady , my heart hurts when i read this story, you are good enough for someone who deserves and value you for being you. Don’t sell yourself short you don’t love him you love the idea of being loved coz he tells you " i love you" sweetheart he don’t … not the way he supposed to love you. Open your eyes this is never going to stop if he tells you that those Girls can do things you can’t , that answer should be enough , cut the cord honey and move on.
They can do things you can’t is the most concerning thing about this… It’s insensitive and offensive and mean… He should have more respect for you than that. If getting a kick out of seeing a half naked woman for an evening of entertainment is more important than his girlfriends feelings then that says a lot about his character 
12 Likes
My ex didn’t go to strips clubs. He said, “you go to strip clubs, spend money you don’t have, get horny, go home to a mad woman and don’t get laid. What’s the point?” 
The lady needs to find a male strip club and go. Tell her boyfriend, “the guys do something for me you can’t.”
I get it. If they can do what you can’t… Stay with them …!!? 
If I go sit and gawk at a naked man:no_entry_sign: I bet my guy would mind. So what’s good for the goose be good for the to gander. 
I’m just throwing this out there. Im highly attracted to women so I’d gladly go for the ride cheering the women on. It isn’t for everyone and both ways are completely fine. If u don’t want him.to go. Talk to him again. I don’t know wat advice to give as I haven’t been in that situation before. Would u be comfortable going with him
Under 30?-to be expected. Over 30? Throw the whole dude out he’s a trash person with Peter Pan syndrome
4 Likes
For me no butttttt there’s reasons behind mine if he goes I go to if it’s a boys night thing then I get girls night to and I get to go to a strip club for women and or a bar/club I wanna go to but if u don’t feel comfortable then he should respect that wither he sees it one way or not it’s like him saying u can’t be good friends with someone even thou u known them for years just cause they said they don’t like his shoe color if he gose tell him k then imma go.to.this place u don’t like by myself or with ppl and go from there
My husband goes with the guys when they’re out having a bar night & we go frequently.
My husband and best friend actually just booked me a booth and tons of surprises for my birthday at one of the strip clubs.
I think this is more so trust issues, not so much of it being a strip club.
If you’re uncomfortable,your answers there ?
2 Likes
If you trust each other n once in a great while the guys have a beer at strip dance place ? Like every few months the guys go for hour n beers I wouldn’t flip out but each week no no no , ask him if it’s ok if you start going with girlfriends out to make dance places see what he replies??
1 Like
They can do things you can’t wtf is tht sposed to mean
Major red flags , if he can’t take your feelings into account
And would risk hurting you for a few seconds of lookin at another girl sack him off!
You can have and deserve soo much better than this!
3 Likes
Stop wasting your breath hunnie stop telling him how you feel. I’m sure have told him plenty of times. Ppl going to do want they wanna do. And you shouldn’t be comparing yourself with nobody. Love yourself and show him just that.
1 Like
It wouldn’t bother me and I think it would come down to trust. I have been with my husband 16 years and married 14. He loves me and I love him, I went to watch strippers on my hen do and he went to Amsterdam. I just think it a personal thing. I get why it bothers some people and I think that should be respected. Its maybe about your insecurities more than anything. Although from what he has said I think that’s low? What is he referring to? I think it you have a strong relationship and respect then it wouldn’t be an issue but he seems to be insensitive to your feelings the way he is talking x
I have coworkers who are married and they go to bars and strip clubs all the time and pick up nasty women and take them to hotels. Just a thought for all you who think this situation is normal and this girl is “weak.” Y’all are probably getting cheated on all the time and don’t even know it and then trying to make this girl feel bad when she really should dump his a$$.
8 Likes
For him to say they can do things you can’t should tell u all you need to know. Dump him. Sorry to be so blunt but he cares nothing about u. Get rid of him. You will find someone who really does care about u
2 Likes
Well its not cheating. Also you need to work on your body image because if you’re not secure EVERYTHING he does you will question.
2 Likes
You’re trying to control him . I allowed it , nothing wrong with it at all , they aren’t allowed to touch the dancers . Just because you aren’t happy with it doesn’t give you the right to tell him he can’t go . Or shouldn’t go . He’s an adult . I’m sure you do things he doesn’t like but he’s not stopping you . It’s truly not cheating !
4 Likes
We should totally go to strip clubs!!!
I had to stop with they can do things you can’t!!! That is enough!!! He doesn’t put you on a pedestal. Let him enjoy those woman and not you.
As a side note, personally I would go to a strip joint with my man.
Run run run away from this man!
Why not? You both should be secure enough to do what you enjoy. Jealousy is insecurity.
3 Likes
Different people are different personally I wouldnt be ok with someone I was with going to a strip club ever as far as I concerned if someone im going out with wants to do anything in anyway sexual with someone else they should stay single or be with someone who is ok with them being like that with others and if he knows how it would make you feel and he would still do it he doesn’t care. If that’s how it makes you feel it doesn’t matter if others think it’s OK. In your relationship you and your partner are the ones who decide that.
1 Like
If you tell someone your not comfortable with something and they don’t acknowledge it and stop then they don’t love or respect you. For all the other women saying she’s insecure wake up , if another woman is entertaining your man half naked and your ok with it thats fine but not all women are , does not make them insecure.
10 Likes
How old are you? They can do stuff like what? He’s a boyfriend not a husband. That’s why they call it dating. Dry your tears and move on. Here you are sitting at home feeling down and unworthy and he is throwing dollar bills.
6 Likes
In my opinion, sex clubs are sexual immorality. Of course, that ties in to my faith. But let’s put that aside and just say this. The fact that it bothers and hurts you should be reason enough for him not to go whether or not he sees issue with it himself. In relationships you are to consider each other’s feelings. Hell, he isn’t even doing anything to reassure you of your importance to him and his attraction to you. He actually says things to tear you down even more. That within itself is not only unkind but also emotional abuse. You really need to reevaluate whether or not he can give you the emotional support you need in this relationship. Also, work on your self confidence. You need to change that internal speak that keeps telling you that you are less than you truly are.
He has an addiction and needs treatment/counseling. He has the issue, not you. You can never control someone else, so you have to decide what are willing to endure.
I told him he could go to one as soon as he’s cool w me working at one 
13 Likes
If you were raised to believe you shouldn’t go to strips clubs then why do you waste your time on a relationship with someone who clearly don’t have the same beliefs as you??? Why waste your time
7 Likes
Nope! That’s disrespectful!.. But you’ll get over it and he’ll do it again. Pick your battles. If you don’t want a man who goes to strip clubs then don’t date one.simple as that.
It would be …byyye … If he’s admitting they give him something u can’t girl eff that . You👏are👏enough … Run
5 Likes
Go watch yourself some male strippers and have some drinks and enjoy yourself then tell him the same things he told you when he tries to get mad about it
6 Likes
Join him and enjoy it , get the lap dances , flirt go home and enjoy him , sometimes it’s the spark that keeps the relationship alive
4 Likes
Ladies, this isn’t rocket science and we need to stop pretending there’s some bigger picture we need to figure out or understand. If the dude does anything to make you uncomfortable, then he is TRASH. I don’t fing care how much you love him. You see love yourself more. And by letting men act this way and get away with it, you really need to go on a single journey to learn, know and love yourself. Only when you are truly happy alone, will you be able to pick the right partner. This sht needs to stop. Its masochistic. What works for other relationships, ISN’T YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Stop asking for advice about men that care more about themselves and their feelings and wants than yours. If he’s ok doing something that hurts you, he’s hurting you. Stop. Be single and go figure out why you allow yourself to be overlooked and undervalued. At some point, we have to take responsibility of ourselves and quit blaming the person for being who they are. Why do you even love someone like that, is the real answer you need to get.
6 Likes
Fuck that
Get rid of him.
Sounds selfish asf
1 Like
Self confidence starts with SELF nothing anyone says or does should determine the way you love and see yourself. If you’re having issues with your self worth and confidence that’s not something he can or should fix. That’s something you have to work out for yourself. Life gets tough sometimes, you have to adapt or get left behind.
5 Likes
Those women don’t want your man… 
3 Likes
Hunny… Not all Stripper ARE PRETTY… Trust me… No Stripper wants you’re Man… Stripper are there for the Money… Point blank…
red flags babe - the guy sounds like a real flog! You need to get out of that relationship ASAP - he doesn’t respect you and if you don’t leave you don’t respect yourself!
3 Likes
Honestly don’t see the issue… if he wants to go let him go. Surely if you trust each other enough it won’t be an issue!
6 Likes
…are the straights ok? The more I learn about “hetero-normative” the happier I am that I’m queer af.
3 Likes
I went thru this with my ex-husband. We went to the strip club together, and I had a blast. I got to talk to some of the girls when they took their breaks (they came and sat with me and him, ignoring him). The next time he went to the club, he went without me. The girls asked him where I was, when he told them he “needed a night without me,” they decided to leave him alone. I went in the club about a month later, and the girls were happy to see me. They asked me a favor, I said yes. That night I helped them make money, they made a show, having me as the center of attention. I ended up divorcing him, I was tired of him being jealous of people liking me more than him. Do like I did and take life by the horns and have fun with it!
Girlllll break up with him. It isn’t just about trust. It’s about respect. If she is uncomfortable with it, he shouldn’t go. Chances are if the tables are turned, he wouldn’t be very happy. This is a red flag.
9 Likes
Ok. Before we get into anything else, YOU have to be happy and confident with YOU. Clearly you aren’t sis. It’s SELF confidence and not his responsibility tbh. He’s supposed to live you as you are but how can he do that when YOU don’t love you. Top it off with the fact that there’s half naked women everywhere, online, at the store, etc. Work on your self confidence and esteem first before jumping in relationships and expecting a man to do it for you. Now, about your problem, you made it clear that it bothers you and he doesn’t care. Let it him go and work on you. Become whatever it is you want to be
3 Likes
Dear one, stop expecting other people to make you feel happy about yourself: Its not his role to make you feel happy about your body or anything in your life. It is your job 100%: Start reading about co-dependency and get a therapist to help you heal from low self esteem etc…
4 Likes
Yes, it IS cheating. And even if he doesn’t see it that way, you deserve someone who respects your feelings. Don’t settle for someone who makes you unhappy.
8 Likes
Why dont you go with him or Go to a male strip club yourself?. Maybe he might feel the same way you do about the situation, then have ground to respect eachother. Go and have some fun even a dance from a man dont be to hard on yourself and remember if the man cant love and respect you leave. you’ve clearly set your boundaries which hes not listening to and if you continue allowing him to get away with it hell keep doing it.
You also need to work on yourself and pick yourself up love yourself.
3 Likes
This is clearly a big issue for you… first and foremost try doing things for yourself to make you feel better in the skin that you’re in. Communicate with him and let him know you need reassurance. If you don’t get anywhere and he’s not willing to compromise then maybe he isn’t the man for you. Always love yourself, no one is perfect but you have to learn to love you!
I have been before when I went out with clients, my wife trusts me 100% and I would never do anything to change that, if she said she didnt want me to go I wouldn’t but at the end of the day it’s not all what you think it is, yes, girls will come and as do you want a lap dance…just say no…they dont hound you , its clean, you can sit and have a chat better than you do in most pubs, the girls are nice, polite, most of them students trying to put themselves through college…I know some will argue with me but of all the 3 times iv been I have never had any issue with drunks and have had a good laugh to be honest, it’s not like some people make out, you should go with him one time so you can see yourself and that if you have a good relationship then theres nothing to worry about…its not like anything happens, they have rules, cameras, indoor security around the place…trust me theres no hidden rooms where theres beds etc …well not of the 3 places iv been anyway
He isn’t really doing anything but looking then come home to you
1 Like
I have no problem with strip clubs but him saying they can do things you can’t would make me question everything and think he’s doing more than watching the strippers so that would be the end of my relationship
This is about your confidence. Why don’t you go to a pole dancing class. Loads of them around now. Then maybe you could do a sexy dance for him.
Or get yourself booked up for magic Mike ! I’m sure those fellas can do a lot of things your fella can’t !! Strip clubs are harmless. The men can’t touch etc. Its just a giggle for the boys as is you went to magic Mike with the girls. But work on your own self confidence. Looking ain’t cheating. And he comes home to you every single night. Relax. Breathe. And learn to love you for who you are. Men aren’t the best at working things properly at times. Neither are women lol. Be happy x
1 Like
It’s not cheating . He shouldn’t have said what he said, but he’s laying with you at night… not a stripper. I personally don’t see am issue in it. Your insecurities are just that: yours.
Kinda like if you were a painter, telling someone they can’t like anyone else’s artwork because it makes you feel bad about yours… sound silly, right?..
Go with him, you might enjoy it.
3 Likes
Girl go to the strip club with him them strippers are amazing and will make you feel like the most beautiful bitch in the world and you’ll have some damn good sex after. Or you could compromise and try to go once.
4 Likes
Imma keep this simple. Dump. His. ass. If its really not that big of a deal then why can’t he not whine about it and suck it up and not go to help your mental out? He isn’t saying the strip club isn’t a big deal imo he’s saying your feelings aren’t a big deal. Its hard for him to compromise on seeing other chicks naked but not hard for him to fuck up your body image. Dually noted.
5 Likes
He isn’t a 100% into you. If you put up with this, you will be putting up with a lot more in the future. But seriously gal, if you think being skinnier will give you more confidence and happiness, do something about it.
1 Like
Why does Fan think she is in a relationship???
Dump his sick ass… first off he has you … and You should be all he needs to look at… PERIOD! He wants to look at skanky ass women then I say dump him like I don’t have a problem… BYE
Clearly he has issues…
2 Likes
Lol fuck him yes you should learn to own ur shit but if he knows it makes u insecure on ur journey of self love and improvement i mean fck him that simple if he’s got a secured relationship with you I don’t understand why he would need to go to stripers and honestly just buy yourself some lingerie and enjoy your sexuality coz ur hot.
2 Likes
All relationships have boundaries and those are yours. You’re not wrong for feeling against it. I would feel the same x
3 Likes
The amount of people saying go with followed by “you’ll have great sex afterwards” is probably a reason she won’t. No man should want to have great amazing sex with someone after staring at half/fully naked chick’s when they should be having that kind no matter what. It makes people have some serious insecurities that they up their sex game after watching other females.
2 Likes
You mentioned “how you were raised” that’s a big key in a relationship. If you’re sticking to how you were raised why are you dating someone who enjoys strip clubs?!
5 Likes
Also no fucking female should be told a random chick can do more than the woman they’re dating smfh. I’m bisexual and even I refuse to go and my husband respects that I would rather him not go to one either.
To OP you need to leave especially if he can’t respect you and your feelings.
No not unless there into that kind of stuff together
Well if he legit uses “two” (2) In place of to or too, and “four” (4) in place of for in a sentence, then you should just throw the whole man away to begin with because he obviously is lacking in the intelligence department.
7 Likes
I have been to a “gentleman’s club” a few times, and my initial reaction was that’s it? Just “here’s my boobs”. They kind of do an extra bit of a dance when you go to the stage and tip them. When I went up to give them a dollar, I was honestly getting a MUCH better show than the guys were…maybe if you go with him, you will see that it’s not that big a doo-dah. Have him give you some cash to give the dancer. I have told my husband that I’m not worried about him leaving with a dancer. He doesn’t have that kind of money, but that if I ever saw reciepts and found out that he was blowing a lot of our money on looking at boobs, we would have a serious problem.
1 Like
“Not for a night to go out and cheat but a night to go out and not have to worry about his relationship…” that is exactly the same thing girl
3 Likes
Hey I’m sorry your going threw this but sometimes love isn’t enough.your gonna have to except that this is what he likes and if you don’t he’ll find someone that does sorry to say ,or he may cheat because guys use the excuse that they get nagged at home so they cheat… you need to let him go and if he comes back under the condition no more strip clubs then he really does love you ,and if he don’t come back then it wasn’t meant to be bottom line