I think every relationship is different. I personally would not care if my husband went, unless he was going all the time. I used to find it kinda wrong until I went to one with an ex and our friends. I think strip clubs get built up very differently then they actually are. Also if it’s somewhere where you’re not interested in going, it makes it awkward and negative when your partner does want to go.
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If I need the strip clubs I dos not need u. Let him go and u and your girl friends go to a sexy men strip clubs
I never cared when my husband went. It was always me he was coming home to… do you trust your man, that’s the thats real question… it’s not like they can have sex with them… would you prefer he goes look at someone he touch or find someone he can?
His priorities are clear. Making you happy is not his top priority, being able to be free to get sexual entertainment from others is more important to him. Leave him. You deserve better.
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Id help my partner pack if she had an issue with me goingto strip clubs
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Knowing that it’s a strip club, and that hes not out cheating (so many rules he cant there) would put my mind more at ease. You can look at the dessert menu, but not order off it!
I personally think your beautiful inside and out and should never be ashamed of the skin your in! Were not perfect and most of us dont have time to work on that perfect beach bod as much as we’d like! But your boyfriend says he loves you and hes obviously attracted to you, why not spice it up abit at home for you both? Might give you abit more confidence if you rock his world xx
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Nope, if he loves you he would understand and stop, mine did
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if you trust him, an you have faith in your relationship, an you love him, a strip club shouldn’t worry you, if my boyfriend or partner wants to go, I’d be like okay go have fun, or be yasss babe let’s go an I’d be right there with him, women’s bodies are a beautiful thing even if you aren’t into girls, an if they can do things you can’t do for whatever reason then so be it. I know for a fact I can’t do a split or hang off a pole 5 feet in the air. That’s amazing. You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself but you shouldn’t shame your boyfriend either for liking what he likes.
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Your projecting your own insecurities onto him, and that’s not fair. I’d personally help you pack your bags and tell you to figure out your life.
I love how you all blame the guy in this… If you actually read, she’s using past experiences and insecurities to dictate this whole conversation… THERAPY is what you need
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Well I’m from Detroit Michigan. And it’s not unusual to go to the strip club alot of females and males go . My dude and I have been together . I’m also 41 yrs old so this wouldn’t bother me one bit. Sounds like u guys need to have a talk and u definitely need to get ur self esteem together . It’s always someone prettier or have a better body. It’s something about u he likes or he wouldn’t be with u . Please if u dont do nothing else please work on urself so those insecurities can get buried . Learn to love urself
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No he shouldn’t be going to strip clubs. You are enough, he’s just a jerk.
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My husband worked at a strip club as a bouncer. He managed the girls also. They r completely nude there too no bottoms. He would have to go back in dressing rm and bring them their money all butt ass naked. Yes problems came up but just going to visit one is nothing like being there every night. I was pg too. He worked there for years then left for something better. It was hard but money was good. Maybe once a year we may go. U can go w him. Stuck some ones in ur bra or in ur pants and they will come up and involve u as much as possible. It’s actually kinda fun. There also are strip clubs that have men and women one is in myrtle beach. U should go with one night.
Girl, Id leave him for that grammar alone if that was a word for word copy got damn!
a group where we tell you to dump them
Let him go to the strip club. Don’t act like it bothers you. If and when he screws up you have your answer. Guys are guys. They like looking at beautiful women. It’s okay to be jealous until he gives you reason not trust him.
Bin him off chick and keep your head up xx
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You are good enough and if he can’t see that and understand your feelings then fuck him off you deserve to be happy and feel secure
You telling him all these things is only feeding his ego and gives him power over you your literally telling him how to hurt you be he loves it, it makes him feel desirable that it makes you hate yourself yet still want to be good enough for him, I promise you you are better than him and deserve more than he can give he does not love or respect you in any way or he wouldn’t make you feel like this he couldn’t he likes how you make him feel about himself. Their is nothing wrong with you he is the one making you view and compare yourself this way he’s feeding on your insecurities to control you ever time you question or push him he tears you down so you focus on your perceived wrongs and not what he’s doing to you. Stone wall him out of your life and learn to love yourself because then you will accept nothing less than you deseve .
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I believe it’s a total disrespect of him.
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That’s a conversation you and your partner need to have. If he’s willing to see your side and refrain from regular trips sounds like he’s a winner
A big no. Let him go if that is what he wants. He will never be satisfied at home after he drools over the shows. And many of the dancers are sex workers.
The amount of people saying that he can go and you need to get over it is crazy if he wants to be with you he should respect how you feel and if him going to strip clubs makes you feel insecure and hurts your feelings and he’s still going he doesn’t respect you or your feelings!! End of conversation get a new man!!
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Time for you to hire a private stripper see how he likes it
I don’t mind, we used to get in free and coin beer all night at the strip club.
With Age and kids we haven’t been in years. I alls dont indulge porn or erotic fantasy books. Its all fantasy to us.
But I’m 100% secure in myself and my husband. He would never do anything to jeopardize our marriage.
It depends on your relationship but as you BOTH aren’t agreeing he should respect your decision, if he goes your gonna end up hurt, if he doesn’t he missed out on seeing some strippers… there should be no hesitation and it shouldn’t be a hard decision for him to make.
If you don’t want him to go and he still goes he’s not worried about you. Only thing you can do is just leave and let him go. There’s men that never go to them and that’s their way. But you probably can’t stop him. Probably going to be your choice of what to do.
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Some will say yes some will say no
Just sounds like you’re two very different people and he should certainly be respecting your views on the matter
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The strip club is not cheating. Having insecurities in oneself should not hinder what your significant other does, in my opinion. It would be no different if you went to out with your girls to a hunk show where men dance without a shirt.
Learn to love your self and have that body positivity. Not an easy task but trying to control every situation is not going to work in anyones favor.
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Oh no. Don’t settle for being treated like that. My ex was that way. Best decision I ever made for myself was leaving. If he’s willing to put his wants and needs above you and your feelings then he’s not a good boyfriend and you sure as heck don’t want that kind of a person as a husband and a father. There’s Plenty of good men out there who would never treat you like that. They can do things you can’t?? What in the actual f… he does not love or respect you. if this is how you feel, take it as a sign. It’s easy for women to say stop being jealous and let him go. But any grown up mature man who cares about his woman has no desire to go to a strip club. He is a boy, not a man. Go find you a man who would never think about saying something like that to you, or not care about your feelings.
Plus the man can’t even type a sentence without sounding like an idiot.
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The question is would he like it if u went to a strip club
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Well, when he comes home all " ready " just tell him he wasted his money on a pair of blue balls 
Run and never look back. It’s evident he doesn’t respect you or your feelings. Go find yourself someone who is worthy, clearly he is not.
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If he loved you he would respect your wishes
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Its just like watching porn to me. I don’t see it as a big deal. As long as its once in a while on a guys night . Or why not go with him. Have a few drinks flirt with the dancers too. They make everyone feel pretty. Lol. Then go home and have amazing sex with ur man. Have fun. Everyone likes too look. From a plus size women.Married 16 years. Xoxo
Ask him how he would feel having you around naked men dancing and all over you. If he loves you he should value and respect your feelings
I usually don’t comment here, but I felt the need to. Being in a relationship is about respecting the other person’s boundaries. It doesn’t matter what anyone else in this group is comfortable with, it matters what YOU are comfortable with. If a strip club is a “no go” for you, that should be enough. But please understand this: the fact that another woman is attractive DOES NOT take away from your beauty. You are beautiful just the way you are, even if someone else is attractive. It took me a long time to accept that, because I’ve been exactly where you are with trying to find acceptance for my body through someone else’s eyes. You have to learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else. But you know what? YOU’RE WORTH IT. 
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Go get yourself a job at that strip club. Doesn’t matter what your body type is. There’s a love for all. Then you’ll be boosting your self esteem. And then see how he feels about just going to the club. Maybe you’ll find yourself someone who can do what He can’t.
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Get out now. He won’t change. He doesn’t have the same values you do. If he respected you he wouldn’t want to further hurt you by going. For those of you laughing about something this serious to the poster you’re heartless pigs.
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It’s up to each relationship what works for them. But you should not rely on others for your self confidence. You need to work on that regardless of a strip club. But no it’s not cheating either way. Doesn’t mean you have to be okay with him going and he should respect that.
Why do married men want to look at other women! Betcha he wouldn’t like it if she went to see male strippers .
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Go with him. Many women do
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I was that way when I was young. Now I’m like hell I will go with you. Trust that those ladies are not going to go home with your man. They just want his money. With that said, if your partner will not try and understand and respect your wishes then you need to find another partner.
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If it’s not for a bachelor party or a social something, relationship or not, there’s a special kind of guy or gal who goes to strip clubs frequently. It’s not the going or the strip club which is disturbing, rather the perversion in that personality type which would need to go watch people in that capacity. Weirdos are repulsive, but do whatever you want
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How do they do things you can’t?? It’s a strip club not a hooker
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Maybe if that’s how he feels he shouldn’t be your boyfriend anymore.
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If your self esteem is really low. Do something about it. You can’t just mope around feeling sorry for yourself. And instead of having the thought of doing it for your husband. Do it for YOURSELF. Just build up your own self esteem and trust me, you’ll be happier with or even without your husband.
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He doesn’t need to be in a relationship. Seems you might be picking a certain kind of guy since these same issues were present with your ex. Dump him… take time off from dating to work on yourself get super confident in you before dating again. Normally I would say an OCCASIONAL trip to the strip club with friends isn’t a big deal. My ex enjoyed them daily…with lap dances to boot…was I the problem? Nope…it was him…notice I said ex.
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So I am with you in that it would make me feel uncomfortable for my SO to go to a strip club. If I expressed how so feel and he doesn’t care, I would take that as he doesn’t care about my feelings and hurting me so therefore he does not respect you. You have a partner to satisfy your needs, if he doesn’t express his needs to you how are you to satisfy him? If he doesn’t think you’re enough then let home find someone else that can give him all he thinks he needs. It hurts, but he’s hurting you anyway. Best of luck in your situation and keep talking about it.
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He’ll never change or stop!
If he loves you he would respect your views and not go.
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Baby you need to heal! You can’t expect that man to fix your SELF esteem problems. Either you trust him or you don’t.
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He doesn’t even know what love is, you are infatuated. The relationship is doomed already. You are not dumb and blind like him wants and he has wondering eyes like you don’t want him to have. Right now you’re hurt but later you will hate him. Our own minds trick us into believing someone is our soul mate! He is a phoney fake and he will distort the way you perceive life.
Yep leave now and tell him then he can do as he wants sounds like a dick anyway
Honestly, if he is using “two” instead of to, I’d be out 
also your feelings are valid and if he doesn’t see that, then find someone that respects your opinion and view on things.
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I for one love going to the strip club. I say go with him. They will always be into more than the man. (Has been everytime ive gone). My husband dont like them so I haven’t been in a while. But I feel it can spice things up. Im a bigger lady and have zero self convenience but I know my husband loves me. If he wanted to go I would differently be right there with him having fun. Wish you the best. Hopefully he will respect your wishes
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If it makes you uncomfortable then he should respect that. Me personally I don’t mind. Hell I might go with him. Lol
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Sounds like emotional manipulation on your part most often if you try to tell a man not to do something he will do it just because of the feeling of relationship gamesmanship played by his significant other it’s the same as the meme that is floating around Facebook where the guy on The bus doesn’t give up his seat for the pregnant woman using the excuse “that he shouldn’t have to alter his day because she decided to be pregnant and not have a car”it’s the same concept guys are fed up with the emotional manipulation that we are constantly bombarded with,and it’s a hard concept for women to grasp but modern day feminism breeds misogyny.
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Nope, why would I want to watch strippers with IHOP asses when I have my wifey that blows them all away in a heartbeat
Honey if it were me. I’d tell him he can go as much as he wants because if he can’t respect me and my feelings. Then I will not be sticking around to watch him do whatever he wants at my expense. Meaning I ain’t going to sit there voluntarily and get hurt. There ain’t nothing you can say because it’s clear he doesn’t care. So, what this boils down to is are you willing to bend on your boundary? Or are you going to stick to your guns? I 100% understand where you’re coming from. I’m not cool with that shit either.
I am sure if it was the other way around you would be pissed off and resent the person in the relationship. If its every weekend then I would have an issue. If it’s occasionally or for a event then nah go have fun.
You love him for him not what he does occasionally.
Invite your girlfriends over and make a night of it. Grab a movie and chill.
Don’t force a square peg into a round hole….
He’s being totally honest and so are you.
Only you can tell if it’s a deal-breaker.
And IF IT IS a dealbreaker for you, then he is not the one for YOU. YOU set your boundaries.
If you determine it is a dealbreaker and you still choose to stay with him…you’re a fool on a fool’s errand.
YOU pick your partner. Not the other way around.
(And yes. They can absolutely move their bodies in amazing ways that you can’t….BUT only because you haven’t learned.)
Surprise him and take erotic dance lessons or pole dancing classes.
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Ok first up where do you find these guys that both want to go to s strip club and there excuses are the same. Him just wanting to go to the strip club is kinda off they usually do that stuff of crap when they are single and with their buddies. But at the same time he should respect and understand where you are coming from. I dont want my boyfriend going there for any reason I dont care what he comes up with an as excuse
He can be with me or them hos choice. I totally dont feel you are wrong not wanting him to go. Good luck with your talk.
First of all if you’re insecure about yourself you should not be in a relationship because all you’re gonna do is torment that man.
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Don’t waste your time explaining your feelings to someone committed to not hearing you. It sounds like you already expressed how you feel about it and he’s downplaying/disregarding your thoughts on it. If they can do things you can’t let him enjoy the club as a newly single man. He’ll soon see you did things for him that they can’t. If he doesn’t respect you enough to value your worth, let him go.
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I view it as a form of cheating and my husband knows he isnt to be in one! 
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My husband and I had this discussion also because I was also uncomfortable with it. He listened and we eliminated it and the option of porn. He said he loves me and if it makes me sad he doesn’t want to make me sad so it’s not part of our lives. It certainly wasn’t improving our lives so it was an easy decision for us.
Turn the tables on him tell him that you and your girlfriends are going to a male strippers club and see what his response is. I pulled that on my ex-husband. It sounds like to me he is not that serious about the relationship. The harsh cold reality is we are humans and all have wondering eyes. We always look female or male.
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If he wants to go then you go be around some naked men yourself and see how he likes it
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I think it depends on the relationship. I also think that projecting your insecurities on how to dictate his life, is an problem that should be dealt with sooner rather than later. From the little info above, it seems more like you need to get some help/advice before continuing or getting into new relationship, to make yourself happier and better trusting. Your current boyfriend is NOT your ex so unless you’re going to seek help for the mental abuse you’re suffering from, you should probably be single. He shouldn’t have to cater to past traumas if you’re not actively seeking a solution and healing. It’s not his job. Support and love, yes, but not dictate his activities around your past relationships.
There’s a lot to this though. Now if it’s all the time and it’s financially hurting you, If he’s cheated in the past at a club, if he tells you he’s more interested in viewing them instead of you, if he’s a jerk about it, etc… all these would give a solid reason for emotional response, but if he’s not doing anything wrong, then I would hope you could recognize the issue here. It’s hard, but it can be done!
I speak from a very trauma filled past. I haven’t been able to reach a healthy state yet so I’ve been single for over a decade. I don’t want to hurt someone just because I was hurt and can’t fix it just quite yet. I am practicing what I’m preaching, so to speak.
If strip club is a decent company and no one is being forced to work or preform, the employees are treated right and it’s all legal, then there’s nothing wrong with visiting occasionally. Some would disagree, others don’t. I personally know several strippers that loved doing it and paid their way through medical school, fashion school, law school, engineering, etc… there’s nothing wrong with that profession as long as it’s all concensual. I also am friends with a lot of guys and when we would go out, most of them would barely look at the women. They went for the good drinks, quieter atmosphere, brotherhood and good food! Yes they would glance or watch here and there but NONE of them were sitting there comparing the dancers to their wives/gfs. None!
I know some have hard limits in relationships but that’s something to be discussed BEFORE relationship starts. If you feel this won’t change, then I’d suggest finding a partner that doesn’t enjoy that activity. I say this as general statement as well, could be anything… drugs, alcohol, strip club, golfing, hunting, gun, swimming, shopping, gym, etc… if something truly bothers you than you need to tell your partner before and see if it’s worth giving up to them. Nothing wrong with having preferences but need to express them beforehand.
Screw him. He’s obviously immature and not ready for a serious relationship. He needs to grow up
Get your body in shape then surprise him by stripping in his club. That should determine how into you he really is.
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He has an addiction problem, and he doesn’t have much empathy.
Your partner is not responsible for your happiness. Strip clubs have so many rules, it’s akin to watching porn on his phone.
However, you do deserve to be respected, and if its a hard rule then you need to be prepared to leave him if he goes.
Sound like he doesnt care enough about you. If he did, he wouldnt have gone. Maybe it is time to re-evaluate the entire relationship, not just this issue.
Clearly if he doesn’t care, you shouldn’t be with him. His view is never gonna change. Go find you a man who actually loves you and will respect you and your views on this subject.
As a former stripper I like going to strip clubs with my man. 
We have fun going together.
Offer to go with him. Maybe it is something you both can enjoy. Treat it as possibly a forplay kinda thing. If that’s not an option then jump ship and work on yourself to become a fully healed strong woman. You can’t have a happy relationship if one party is miserable and insecure.
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Leave he has no respect for you or your feelings he doesn’t care
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I think men in General think it’s ok to look at a naked woman . Like this day in age we have Snapchat and social media, dating apps. Apparently all these are good for them .because they live 9 lives it’s ok .but not so us . We are good ole loyal dogs that sit at home waiting for the master to come home . It’s reality…
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He’s an adult who can/will do it with or without you knowing… he doesnt have to agree with your view on strip clubs, you dont have to agree with his. But I can promise you, the last thing those wonen want is to be dancing for your 2 inch W:anchor: but they gotta make rent babes…
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Honey if you can’t love yourself including your body then you aren’t ready to love anybody else. Idk how long y’all be together but you may think you really love him but you also may be trying to replace that void you in yourself if that makes sense? If he goes and you allow him to stay with you after going then honey you’re gonna allow him to treat you bad cause if he can’t respect some minor like this he won’t respect something major. You need to put up boundaries and where you don’t allow someone to cross that line n if they do even a one foot then they need to go. You need to love yourself more and maybe you should just end things and learn to love yourself and you’ll know once you love yourself the person you’re truly meant to be with will pop up unexpectedly
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Then you go to a male strip club and see how he likes that 
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If you have told him you feel bad about him going to these places then you have just a few choices: 1 kick him too the curb 2 go to watch the male strippers time or two and tell him he’s doing things all wrong. 3. Give him is own show at home with you being center stage. I personally would try 2 first the if that doesn’t work do 1 some trash needs to be taken to the dump
I’m with ya sista. I don’t understand it either.
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would he like it if you went to a male strip club and told him they could do things for you that he cant
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No . Big fat no . It’s cheat . Find nice man dump his ass . I would . He put you down. He’s not ready for a real relationship.
Be confident in yourself. Most guys who go aren’t looking for nothing more than a beer and maybe a dance. I don’t know…my first date with my husband ended at the strip club. His friend told him “you better marry her.” We married 7 months later and still going strong almost a decade later. Be confident in yourself.
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There are things men like to see but they don’t necessarily like to see their women doin those things either…that’s why they like porn amd strip clubs…they dont want their wives to be a porn star or look like a porn star or act like a porn star but they like porn stars cuz they’re unattainable and enigmatic…it’s very much fantasy…
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“…they could do things I can’t”.
They cheapen themselves in front of the men. You can’t; you won’t. Rather than think that “that seriously hurt”, be proud that will not cheapen yourself. Hold your head up high. If you boyfriend prefers for his mind to be in the gutter, and you won’t, perhaps you need a new boyfriend with higher standards.
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He should CARE and LOVE you enough to not go because it bothers you. If he goes knowing how bad it hurts you, I would question his love for you. Is this really a good match for you or is he toxic. His actions should speak louder to you than his words.
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It’s not cheating in MY relationship but if it feels like cheating to you, than it’s cheating in YOURS. Every relationship is different, cheating is crossing boundaries set by those in the relationship in my opinion. Not only is he crossing that boundary, he has told you something horribly hurtful and has an utter disregard for your feelings. Love is protecting, caring and catering for each other. Doesn’t sound like someone who loves someone if he is saying horrible stuff like that.
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In my opinion, if you have expressed your feelings and he isn’t validating them than why continue to stay?
You want someone who listens and understands your feelings and values you, more than a night of enjoying himself. Why can’t he do something else that he can enjoy?
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Does he go a lot? Or is this for a social event?
Then why you still with him???
That’s what’s wrong with some of us women. Putting Up with stuff that devalue your self image .like we just have to have a man… Smh
Move on let him have his strippers .next he will ask for a 3some … you gonna do it to make “HIM” happy .
LOVE THYSELF FIRST !
MOVE ON!
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Sounds like a you problem. You need to work on your self esteem not try and get validation from someone else. You need to love yourself or you’ll never be a good partner for someone else. You are the only person who can make you feel better. Also, him going to a strip club does not hurt you physically. It might hurt you emotionally but, darlin that again is a you problem.
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Go with him… I guarantee it’s now like what u think it is.
We used to have a blast at the titty bar…
The problem with 2 totally opposite options is they rarely meet in the middle.
Dump him! He’s a self serving piece of crap
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We go to the strip club together so it’s to each their own🤷♀️ They absolutely can do things I can’t😆 That’s why I like to go too so I get it. Some of the things I will probably never be able to do but others I try to learn.
The thing i would give advice on though is working on your self esteem issues because that’s not just something he has to deal with and that’s not a him problem, that’s a you problem. I never would’ve done the things we do today when I struggled with my own issues and can I tell you I have never loved the person I am like I do today! And because I do i have a lot more fun now… Not only in these ways, in all kinds of ways. My life is so much more enjoyable🙂 Work on you cause it will be the most rewarding thing you’ll ever do for yourself!
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If he doesn’t care about your feelings kick his ass to the curb for garbage pickup
Just go together, it’s pretty fun.