If she does seem like she’s making an effort I wouldn’t punish her for it though.
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When will children be allowed to not be perfect at everything, especially school? I’m so glad my mother didnt shove getting good grades down my throat because i absolutely hated school. Every child is different, if its just one class like that I wouldnt stress her out over it and take things away. She’s obviously struggling with that particular subject and its OKAY. Id say 90% of what we learned in school was never implemented in my life at all. 
I also have a son with severe ADHD whos struggles in particular subjects and I just find it best not to stress him over it. We all arent good at certain things and I want him to know trying his best still counts even if he can’t get it figured out to everyone else’s standards.
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Figure out why she has the low mark’s in the class. If shes not making an effort, she needs to start. if she isnt grasping the concepts, she needs a tutor. You can be her friend all day long, but your a parent first. No effort, no luxury until there is. Not grasping, get the tutor. But that’s just me.
Have you asked her what’s going on? Is she struggling to understand the info? Is she being bullied? Since the pandemic, mental health well being in our kids have declined.
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Make a deal with her. Tell her she can go and get her nails done as long as she brings up the grade. If she doesn’t then she’s grounded. Give her a chance
No nails and no party. You are the parent, get her that tutor! Unless she has a learning disability, she shouldn’t be rewarded for the bad grades. Sounds like you need to have a discussion with her and her teacher.
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Talk to her. Give her benefit of the doubt. Ask what’s going on. Maybe she just really is doing her best in that subject. I can say from experience, had my parents talked to me it would have been a lot easier to open up. Maybe there is someone giving her a hard time in that class. Maybe she simply doesn’t care. But giving her the floor and safe space to come to will do wonders for her, and your relationship with her.
Getting a tutor shouldn’t be an option for her, you are the parent. If she puts in no effort then I wouldn’t put in the effort to bring her to get nails
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If she’s trying in the class the. I would give her some grace. but I wouldn’t allow the party. And I wouldn’t offer a tutor, I would hire a tutor. It’s an option.
Your child has strengths and weakness like every other kid. One low mark isn’t going to affect her whole life. There’s artists and musicians in classrooms that don’t care about Math and English grades. There are kids that want to be teachers and doctors that dont care about elective courses like art. Don’t punish your child for getting a low grade. Teach her to strive for progress, not perfection.
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I’m sorry but 68?
I mean she’s passing ? Maybe that class is a challenging one and is just a bit lower ? I don’t understand a punishment for a passing grade ? To much pressure is being put on kids these days.
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Depending on which class it is, that’s where you should be concerned. What you needed to is post to your daughter this way, let her go to the party and get her nails done, but in order to do so she must agree to sitting down with the teacher along with you she discussed what’s going on with her grades so you both can come up with a plan to help get her grades back up. That’s the best solution right now. Saying oh hire or tutor, well kids really get to feel comfortable having a tutor for them not many some appreciate it but if you really does need a tutor, it just something simple sit down with the teacher and talk it over.
My parents wouldn’t let me do anything if I had bad grades. My nose was in books until that grade came up.
Anything lower than a c i was grounded and couldnt go anywhere or do anything till the grade came up. If the grade didnt come up because it was a class i was really bad in (math) my mom would talk to my teacher to make sure i was trying and paying attention in the class and i would be ungrounded as long as i promised to keep trying my hardest to get the grade up and my mom would stay in contact with the teacher to make sure i got any help i needed.
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My theory everyone learns different try a different techniques and go from there
Is she trying? Does she have a learning disability? If no to both, punishment t is definitely in order
Yes that is the only job they have as kids. Be at least average (c or above). If you have talked to her and she refuses the tutor, you’ve done your job. The rest is up to her.
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If grade cards came out with a d or f i was grounded for 6 weeks which was till the next grading period
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Honestly at the end of they they teach you nothing in school for outside world! Just talk to her about it but I wouldn’t unless it was intentional.
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I don’t think kids need to be punished for bad grades. Now if they are acting out in school and being disrespectful to the teachers, that’s different. Not everyone will do well in some classes, even with tutors. When my child is struggling, then she can spend extra time studying. I’ll also help her go over her homework and brainstorm ideas. Time goes by too fast and it won’t be long before adulthood comes.
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My children (still elementary aged) will lose their tablets if any grade goes below a C
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Imo no, don’t punish her. Kids are dealing with so much Covid related social development issues on top of subjects that are difficult. Not everyone gets good grades and it doesn’t mean they aren’t trying. Punishing them for bad grades only instills that sense of dread you get when you feel like you’re not good enough no matter how hard you try. These kids grow up to be artists, find their stride in college or technical school. Or they’re hands on and do that kind of work. It DOES NOT mean they’re failing or doing it on purpose. Sincerely, A straight A mom raising a struggler.
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68 in just one class??? I’d pick your battles mama that might not be what you think is good, but it’s still a passing grade, and maybe all she’s able to give right now
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I always struggled in Science, even with a tutor. My mom held me to a standard of an A/B student and I would be devastated receiving anything lower because I knew what my mom expected of me. As I got older, it started to make me feel like I wasn’t good enough. Like someone said before, kids learn differently and the more pressure you put on them to have good grades, the more it can effect their self esteem. I dont agree with punishment for bad grades because of this but if shes intentionally not trying, talk with her about why and maybe try to find a fun way to make it interesting. My daughter is homeschooled because she struggles with learning in a big setting. She needs different ways to process the information, sometimes its through a game, sometimes its a visual representation, or even taking her to museums/zoos and she gets so excited and proud of herself for learning whatever the struggle was.
every child is different, my father never punished memoir bad grades as I had a learning disablity plus he knew not all teachers taught how I learned best even if I was strong in that subject. Most teachers don’t adapt their teaching style to kids rather force them to learn how they want to teach which if you ask me is unprofessional. Bottom line don’t punish kids for grades encouragement is better and also have idea why they are struggling as there maybe several factors involved, kids are unwilling to accecpt help usually because how it looks to their peers/ siblings so maybe encourage them to ask one their classmates who doing well for help. My son is very good in math and earlier this year several upper classman asked him at lunch to help them in math and he was more than happy too.
If it’s 1 class out of 6 that she has a low grade in, could it possibly be a “not her issue” lol maybe the teacher isn’t the greatest. Is it too easy/hard of a class for your daughter? If it’s only 1 class I’d try to get to the bottom of it before grounding. I personally would allow her to go to the party and then discuss “if your grade doesn’t improve be than you’re punishment should be ______. I always let me kids be apart of the punishment discussion that way they’re involved and fuller understand any consequences they receive.
I used to get a spanking every time I brought home a bad report card. It did no good. By high school I realized that I needed to start to work and went on to become a registered nurse.
Anything below 50 sure. 68 is a pass so I would say no.
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68 is actually not that bad everybody has their weaknesses and strengths when it came to English I always got 50s when it came to math and science I always got 90s
Some kids are more hands-on learners and with Covid kids had to go online and do work and sometimes it doesn’t work for some kids my daughter struggle a lot and she’s only in grade one
depending on what class it is. Is it one of those elected class? Maybe you should have a sit down and talk to her why her grade is low for that class. If it’s a harder class for her, maybe expect a C in that class and don’t force an A as that would make her feel like she’s not smart enough. Remember, we have to meet our kids where they are, not what we expected them to be. Unless, she’s acting out then that’s another issue you would have to look at. My son plays sports and I always set a standard for him. B average and above and if he’s getting Cs and lower than that means he’s doing too much and he will have to stop sports to focus on school. So far, so good. But you’re her mother and you know her potential and capability. If you know she could do better if she puts herself up to it, then that’s what she needs to do. And until then, she needs to focus on school work. i would not let her go to the party, but she can get her nails done. But that’s just me and what I would do if I’m in this situation.
A 68 in one class and she can’t pay for her own nail treatment ? Get over yourself honestly .
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Depends on why the grades are bad. If the student is struggling and the best that they can do is a “C”, then, no don’t punish for bad grades. But if the student is blowing off school in order to slack off, then absolutely give them a punishment that will teach them to do their work.
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68 isn’t going to kill her maybe have her get a tutor or help her more in the subject ?
68 really ain’t bad at all especially if it’s a class she’s already struggling in I think she should go especially since she has her own money for her own nails she’s only young once she always have time to fix a grade it’s not gonna hurt anyone.
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No. All that does is teaches them that not doing well at something equals something else negative. Demand the tutor. Remind her that it’s for her benefit and that she’ll understand once her grades start coming up. Now, acting out, that’s different…
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Aww stop, punishing her for low grades…kids has been through enough the past few years…it’s only a piece of paper… Their mental health is far more important
Not sure where 68 is passing, thats considered an “F” here in Georgia. If she wouldn’t accept the tutor, then no. But that’s me
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Only if she’s capable of doing better. My daughter was a straight A student until she got her license. She brought home a C in a class and was grounded, had her car and cell taken away. She brought that C up to an A. She’s now a masters level therapist and is working on her doctorate. However, if I knew she was trying and struggling and a C was her best I would have praised her.
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Please let her get her nails done and go to the party. She has one 68. There is plenty of time to raise that grade before the end of the year. You may have offered a tutor, but how much have you done? How much time have you spent helping your child study or just having an honest discussion about what she may be specifically struggling with in that class?? If she is struggling that is where we as parents need to step in and say how can I help? And sometimes kids do not know so by working with her, you may be able to identify exactly what she is struggling with in that class. Please let her attend the party and also tske time to sit and work with her. Be patient with her. If she has overall good grades and is successful in other areas of her life, are you really going to punish her over that? Sometimes you have to look at the big picture.
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You punishing her for a low grade isnt going to teach her anything except the fact you think shes failing. I don’t think parents understand how exhausting school can be. I mean kids are in there learning for around 8hr days
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I think the grade is the reward in itself, but that is assuming the student is truly trying. It is really tough when there is no effort because education is the key to opportunity in the future.
I’d personally let her get her nails done especially because she’s using her own money. But the party is something I would be on the fence about. She would definitely have to agree to do a couple sessions with a tutor before I agreed to letting her go.
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This completely depends on age for me
I was told that a child responds better to positive reinforcement then punishments I’m currently trying that for my kiddos and it takes a bit but we are starting to see some progress in different areas and it’s been a month but we going to keep it up and hope for the best and talk to the school and see why for the bad grades and be involved with everything school school is at home to so doing learning at home helps with learning in school
Never punish for bad grades. You need to help her learn the subject. Punishing for bad grades is punishing for something someone simply doesn’t understand. How does punishment help you learn? All it does is cause stress and no one learns under stress.
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Reward her with money for her grades. Always motivated me as a young teen girl!
I mean, it’s still a pass. If she is actually trying in that class, punishing her is just going to make her feel like shit about herself. If she’s just not going to class and half assing it, I still wouldn’t punish her but I’d tell her she needs to get her ass on gear and do better.
If she has the money then let her. Don’t be that way
Tell her she can go if she accepts the tutor
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She can party if she can work with a tutor on her grades , nails are fine with her own cash … if she didn’t need a tutor she wouldn’t have a 68
Confused. Does this mean 68%? I’m in UK- what’s wrong with that? 
Definitely punish for bad grades! That’s the only real expectation they have at the moment!
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Depends on the age. But for me, if you can’t apply yourself in school and at least try them no you don’t get to do the extra fun stuff. You will sit and study.
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I would be like the tutor isn’t up for discussion. Your failing we are going to get to the bottom of this.
As a parent who struggle in school at all levels I do not punish for bad grades. My boys are expected to do their best and sometimes the best isn’t As and Bs! Do you know how many tests I failed to get the Diploma, and 2 degrees I have? There were soooooo many times that I would be failing or almost failing because of how many I failed! And I even went into Nursing and was failing a class at midterm and was told I’d never pass that class and should drop out! Well guess what it’s not always about how you start just how you finished! I still passed and got my License as a Nurse!! Grades don’t actually show how much someone is learning or not learning! By grade standards I didn’t learn very much ever in school!
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We do punish for low grades and reward for good grades it has worked for us
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I mean, you can…but I don’t think it will help. It’s likely to just harm your relationship with her. I would try getting to the root cause of why she’s doing poorly. Is it only this subject?
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My father did. I was beaten and grounded for months on end. I struggled in school. Numbers were the worst. Went to nursing school in my 30’s. Turns out I have a learning disability. I learned new techniques for studying and things clicked faster. All the beating and punishing never made a difference. I scored in the 98 percentile in nursing school with the adjustments. Look for the cause of the bad grades. It’s not always a lack of trying or caring. There may be a underlying issue
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My parents always punished for bad grades and honestly I’d did more bad than good don’t punish her but I’d definitely push a bit more on a tutor or sit down and try to help her yourself if you can (I understand busy schedules etc. Sometimes that can’t always happen) she might not want a tutor because it’ll “make her look bad” or just because that’s a person she wouldn’t know I struggled hard with asking for help as a kid even when they offered an online tutoring service where they had tutors that specialized in specific things to help us it’d probably do more good to sit down and have a heart to heart with her ask her what’s going on ask her what you can do to help her
Never a punishment for bad grades. Some subjects are harder than others. More time on homework.
It depends. Is she struggling and needs help? Then tutor and not that type of punishment. If she is not turning in work because she don’t want to and not put in the effort that’s different. We have a child who just waits till last minute to turn in things or just doesn’t want to. We take away her phone if she has a f and not turning in work. It depends on the issue though. If it’s just to be lazy and not do it then punishment. If not and it’s a learning issue then help put some.
Why are the grades bad? Not turning in assignments? I would punish… and have, until everything was turned in. Failing assignments? Then, she should stay home and study I’m assuming she’s a teenager, since party and nails and she needs to learn adult responsibilities. As an adult you can’t just not do your work, or fail at it , and succeed.
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If she worked really hard and studied for that 68 then no but if she didn’t try then you should stay home and study.
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You parent the way YOU WANT to parent your children
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Tell her to bring her grades up and she’d never have to ask twice again, till then I would pass. She could learn a lesson out of it
Why do American parents put so much emphasis on their kids
getting high grades
If she does get the grades you expect
Praise her
If she doesn’t get the grades you expect her to get
Big deal
Its just a grade
Its not the end of the world Tbh in the big picture middle of the road grades are nothing to worry about
As for her nails let her go get them done (as you said she has her own money for that)
As for going to a party that’s for you to decide
If she’s working at it and trying her best she should not be punished
I was always punished for bad grades, I had a learning g disability too. I was embarrassed to have a tutor but it reeeeally did help me in the long run, I am forever grateful for that, don’t punish her but get a tutor and tel her it’s non negotiable
I was never punish for bad grades and that made me work harder. They always told me I was responsible for my school work. I never got punish I got beaten for being disrespectful but was never told to
Go to my room my mom always said that will give me time to think unnecessary stuff
Had 3 kids under my roof, we rewarded with cash for A’s but no we did not punish for low or failing grades.
Instead we had a talk with the student and instructor to figure out what the root of the problem was, asked for any extra credit work available & helped them study the subject a bit harder together as parent & child to understand the subject & raise the grade at least one grade higher. All 3 of my kids are now college graduates with great careers.
Not everyone is going to excell at every subject & that’s completely OK! I’m absolutely horrible in math & can’t do much past fractions even as a grandma 
School is important, but so is going out, having a social life, blowing off steam & just cutting loose for a bit.
So, let her know you do support her having down time, but she also needs to reciprocate by trying a little harder to bring her grades up.
If mine dont try, yes. But if they try and the teacher is failing the kid, then why punish the kids when they are not at fault. LAst year my chil was doing K12 online and none of her work went through ! She had to redo THE ENTIRE YEAR 3 times in a 2 month span through NO FAULT of her own ! She passed with flying colors but had she not, I would not have blamed her, much less got mad at her for something I knew she was doing because I was helping her !
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If its for the lack of trying and not turning in stuff then yes by all means. But if she is trying and is honestly struggling then no. I was a straight a student except in one biology class that most kids barely got a c and I tried my hardest. Nothing made this teacher happy. Then once I hit high-school I struggled and I mean struggled in math my mom saw that I put in the effort so I never was punished just praised on how I worked. My little brother was always punished cause he never turned in the work like he would do it then never turn it in. That’s totally different. If she is older like middle school or high-school and being lazy then punishment is ok cause if she is lazy now she won’t do well in the real world
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For D’s and F’s you lose privileges to going out, video games, etc
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Ground her until the grades come up. No going out, no getting her nails done. She refuses tutoring, you offered help now she needs to deal with the consequences of not putting the effort in
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I would let her go to the party and do nails, but then sit down on Sunday with her and practice the material for the class she has a 68 in for at least 90 minutes. This study appointment will be a running appointment until the grade is up to a B or higher. If you sit down with her to work on it together she will know that YOU are invested in her also and maybe she will work harder during the week.
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For me it would depend, if she is trying her hardest and is just really not getting it and is getting a low-grade then I would say that she could go but if she was just being lazy and was not applying herself and doing the best she could then know she gets to stay home and do homework.
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That can be a tricky one. My son (almost 10) brings home pretty good grades, except in math. He averaging about a c plus. BUT, I also know he is trying hard in math. He struggles with it, but he is trying. I’ve always told my boy so long as I can tell he’s trying, I’m not going to be mad about his grades, I’ll help him. It’s when he STOPS trying out ping any effort in that I tell him I’ll be upset and he’ll get punishment
Nope, no fun time for my kids with grades like that, their money or not. As for a tutor, why does she get the choice? If she is struggling she needs one, if she’s not then you know she’s just doing nothing because she has chosen that.
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Tell her to spend her money on a tutor. I guarantee her grades will improve !!! Or she will ask you for help.
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There must be a way to make her to do better, sitting at home might make her think about getting better grades, worked on me
Grounded until grades go up. Fact she isnt even trying to bring them up says needs to lose privileges for awhile.
You are the parent. You are too teach her what appropriate behavior is and how to prioritize. School first, fun later.
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Tl;dr: Let her do the things. You risk doing more harm than good if you don’t have all the information.
There are many reasons someone might refuse a tutor. Perhaps your daughter has anxiety, or maybe even is Autistic (I’m both!). Maybe she’s just too embarrassed to admit to needing help. She may even be afraid to disappoint you by admitting she needs a tutor, even if she knows her grades are upsetting you. Humans are weird little creatures. It may not make sense to you, but anxiety is a funny thing.
I can promise you that taking away privileges won’t help unless it is literally just her not wanting to the work. I doubt this is the case if it’s only one class. She may just be very stressed about her other classes and picked one to take a hit in.
You can always punish her later, but you can’t take back a punishment if you come to find that her mental health was in the gutter and she didn’t know how to ask for help. It may be the little things keeping her going right now. I know they were for me.
An accusation like that at your child is a bell that can’t be unrung. Is your relationship with her worth a 68%?
Extend her grace now, and it can only end well for both of you. If she is going through something, it will be your faith in her that she remembers, not the party or the nails.
If she isn’t, and she just doesn’t want to, then there is time for help later. Humans have a natural drive for knowledge, so it’s uncommon for there not to be a reason for bad grades.
Also consider that she may have wonderful knowledge of the class and just isn’t turning in the work. I’m still that way in college, but my teachers let it slide because they know that I know my stuff and that unmedicated ADHD is a bitch.
Look when I was a kid I was punished for bad grades. Parents need to be more of a parent less of a friend when it comes to discipline. Ground her until her grade comes up.
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If she’s saying no to the tutor you can tell her no to getting her nails done and going to a party. You are the parent, she is your child.
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It’s one class that the grade is low in. She’s fine. Let her go. Y’all expect to much from kids. She’s still technically passing the class. 
if she were failing multiples then I would see an issue and say no keep her home.
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Depends on the kid. If I know they are trying and struggling I’d tell them take the tutor or there will be consequences for the bad grades as they are not trying to fix the struggle. If they aren’t trying then yes, punishment is warranted. No fun til grades are better
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stick to you guns or you will lose the battle. Its hard to do … my 4 year grandson was staying with me and also his 4 year old friend 5 days a wwk. he would push his friend down. and after 2 talks and time out. i told him if he did it again i would spank hm. well he tested me and did it again so i had no choice… i pulled his little underwear down and spanked his little bottom . I cried more than he did. especially when he looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said" grandma you hurted me!. its been 20 years and i still get tearful thinking about, but after that he knew to take me at my word. and he is an awesome young man. military man with an engineering degree. ( not a red mark on his little bottom}. very proud of him!!
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As long as my kids were doing their best, we didn’t punish for grades. If they were just being lazy, then yes.
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That’s a fair consequence but I learned the hard way not to withhold driver’s ed from a high schooler with failing grades. They lose the desire to drive and it cripples them in young adulthood.
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Well, public school is full of bs indoctrination, anyways. I’d be way more concerned to hear my kid was a bully.
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Do it. She knows that bad grades are unacceptable. She will be mad but one day she will thank you.
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Not if it’s only 1 class. For me it’s more about effort and if they are being respectful and having chores done. If she’s trying then I’d let her go especially if she earned the $.
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I’d say no party. I understand you can’t teach a fish how to climb a tree, and maybe she just doesn’t excel at whatever subject this is, but until you guys can find a happy middle of her getting the grades she needs, and being able to still find a good teenage release, I’d say no parties.
Nails I’d let her get still if she has her own money for them, but not till she gives you an idea on how she can work harder in that class.
Normally I would say if she is doing her best let her get her nails done and have a great time this weekend BUT she refused the tutor. That’s blatant disregard to at least try her best. She does not go this weekend.
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The rule in my house anything below a B means your priorities aren’t in order I have unlimited resources to offer my teenage daughter and she knows it she will get her phone and keys taken away and has to work on her grades extra credit before or after school tutoring I’m trying to raise her to be responsible and have accountability she wants to got to the prominent vet program here where we love and can’t do that if you do have good grades ots a dog eat dog world and if you want something you have to work hard for it and make it happen yourself I’m trying to teach her to be a normal functioning adult that I would want to live with in society and she WILL break the cycle of her birth family and do great things in life and she knows I want the best for her but I’m not doing it for her ill give you all the knowledge and tools to succeed but it’s ultimately up to her if she applies it or not (she just turned 17 for reference) she’s one of the top in her class and she did that our home motto is work before you play…sometimes she ain’t happy about it but I tell her I’m your mom first and your friend 2nd
No because as long as they’re trying their best, that’s all I need.
Let her have fun don’t be a bitch were you not young once .xx.
68% isn’t a bad grade. That is average not a fail. Punishing for one subpar grade is over reacting. She doesn’t need to be perfect in every class. Let her focus on the classes she likes and enjoy herself. She might burn her self out or end up resenting you. Look up Jennifer Pan
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Honestly tell her no. My twelve-year-old has three F’s right now and she lost her laptop other than School use for her homework. Not to mention she was grounded from screens for 2 weeks, and she had extra chores around the house. She is showing Improvement in the grades so she is no longer grounded but she still has restrictions and she still has to do extra chores. Also going out with friends on the weekend is a no-go until the grades are brought up