Should you go through your childs personal belongings? My husband and I are debating. I think children need their privacy, he thinks they don’t need a bedroom door…
Snooping? Occasionally. But no bedroom door!?!?!?!?? That’s a bit MUCH
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That child, regardless of age, deserves respect and privacy. You go through that kids stuff, you’re creating a sneaky and rebellious child.
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Strict parents create spy-level sneaky kids
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You should ask your husband what in the world happened to him that was so traumatic he warrants that type of treatment to a teenager. I don’t go through my kids stuff on purpose but I generally know what’s in their bedrooms and their doors need to remain open the majority of the day. Not healthy to be holed up all the time but some days I’m glad I can shut the door haha
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Snooping and not needing a bed room door 2 different things 
My kids aren’t allowed to keep doors locked it’s not even about snooping but for safety
Are there reasons for the snooping 
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You own it though your child uses it. The schools give no privacy nor should you.
Drugs, alcohol, social media are all the reasons why your child has no privacy at school and should have none at home.
That being said, be responsible and upfront on expectations and what you will be looking for. There are phone monitoring programs for parents on kids devices so you don’t have to go through their phones 100% of the time. Bark, Quostodio, Kids Place (depending on the age). These are what I use on my teen’s phone and are worth it for the peace of mind.
Social media, Discord, Tiktok, Twitter, and parts of YouTube should be avoided for all Teens due to Mental health and social health declines that occur with regular usage.
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Nope. I don’t even go in my kid’s room without knocking first. I don’t go in unless they say it’s okay. I do come through regularly and make sure rooms are clean, but otherwise I mind my own business. My son let’s me in and out of his, he keeps his door open. My daughter, no. She likes her privacy.
I expect the kids to knock if my door is shut and wait for a response, don’t go messing around in my room etc., so I give them the same courtesy. It goes both ways and it definitely works wonders!
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No. Not unless you have good reasons
That’s gross. Children are humans, and humans deserve respect and dignity along with privacy no matter their age. Would he appreciate not having a bedroom door? Would he like his personal records/belongings combed through just because they can be? It goes both ways. There is a way to be a parent and still respect your child. Does he want his child to hide things from him, put them at other people’s houses, leave them in their locker at school etc? That’s what is being created. Sneaking, lying, hiding. Eventually, your child won’t be there to deal with that. Because frankly, they don’t have to and shouldn’t!
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I always told my kids that I trust them so don’t give me a reason for not to …they’re 26,24,and 21 and turned out great never once did I snoop in their stuff
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I mean if you want your kids to grow up to feel they need to be sneaky and resent you, then keep following your “husband”
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What ages are they? My mom used to clean my room so she could snoop.
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No door is way too far!!! Don’t want your child feeling like they want to run away from home and that’s all I see a child who would want their freedom. I would have ran away stuff that!!!
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In this day and age, snoop away when they’re at school etc… Check their browser history etc… They’re kids and easily impressionable, lol no door is an old school punishment, until teenagers and developing it is no big deal.
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A parent not letting their child have a bedroom door is very toxic. Everyone needs some privacy, a break from other humans.
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I give my child privacy but I also expect respect. That’s a huge deal w me. It’s a 2 way street. Communication.
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I don’t go through my kids belongings or their bedrooms. And I knock on their doors before entering their rooms. They are people too and deserve respect. However they do know if I feel there is a need to go through their phones or other belongings I will 100% do that because it is my job to protect them. It has happened less than a handful of times
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Absolutely respect their privacy if they are trustworthy. My daughter is 16. I never snoop or invade her privacy. She respects me the same way. Her best friend’s mother is just the opposite. She lies and hides things from her mom constantly.
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If there’s a reason then yes I would
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Lol, they don’t have a door. . ? Is that a financial issue ? Jeeezus.
At that point, why do they even bother to have “stuff/things”
Lol, I need all the tea 
What led up to them not having a door? Why are you guys debating on snooping? What grounds do you have to feel the need to snoop? How old are they ?
The no door is too much but is there a reason he feels the need to snoop
They dont just need, they deserve privacy. Your husband is mistaken if he doesnt want to think they need privacy. How are kids suppose to learn self respect or their worth if they arent shown trust.
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if you give me a reason to snoop…. you can better believe I will. Don’t make no problems, there won’t be no problems.
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If your looking for anything that could be illegal
Yes
If it’s just for a snoop
Definitely not
Only and I mean only if they are showing signs of being on drugs or you know they are stealing. I don’t go into my kids rooms unless they invite me or I’m putting clean laundry in there.
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Depends on what is going on, age of the child and such.
I don’t snoop unless they give me a reason to. Oldest is 15, son is 14. I’ve only ever snooped a handful of times and told them after what I looked through and why. I believe everyone deserves privacy, but I also think safety tales priority… so I supposed it depends the situation.
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I believe that it depends on the situation , and what has lead up to such mistrust.
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Saying you kids don’t need bedroom doors is a creepy thing to even think. Your kids need privacy as much as you and your husband do. I would be very concerned about why your husband doesn’t want bedroom door on your kids rooms. Do not remove them under any circumstances.
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Snoop. YES… The no door? NO! THAT IS RIDICULOUS
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Yes. I read every boring note and kept track of all their"hiding"spots. I actually took the door off at one point because they were destroying it! I raised 7 kids.
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No way. Not cool at all. This is a great way to make sure they leave home as soon as possible, do everything you hoped they wouldn’t, come home once a year (if you’re lucky) then stick you in a retirement home
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Respect their privacy and personal space
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No door?!..that’s a bit ridiculous… snooping I believe is only necessary if you feel your child has been up to no good. I like to trust the fact that I’ve raised them to have self respect and standards about who they call friends and what they spend doing with their time. Mom of seven and of course I’m not saying my kids are perfect but they have never given me reason enough to snoop. Also having open discussion is a must if you feel like your kids are needing some guidance. I mean if it’s a serious situation like drugs, depression, etc. than by all means do what it takes to ensure the safety of your kids.
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No. When I was young I was abused by my uncle and he told many lies to my parents about me and when I came home from visiting my family at the age of 12, I came home to my bedroom door being removed. I did nothing wrong and my parents eventually believed me and seen the proof of my uncles abuse on my body and they apologized and put my door back on. But let me tell you, unless your child is doing something illegal or maybe dangerous, keep their door on. If they are doing nothing wrong, let them have that privacy everyone deserves. To kids and teenagers, their bedroom is their “safe place” . And removing that door eliminates them having their “safe place”. Please don’t take that door off unless really necessary, and there are other punishments that can take place instead of removing the door. It’s not just a bedroom door, it’s the door to THEIR safe place. Where they play, cry, have emotional conversations with their friends. Where they can be alone and feel their feelings.
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They need a door but I do believe y’all have the right to look through their rooms if you suspect something isn’t right.
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The only time you see me snooping is when shit comes up missing.
If you are concerned about the child’s safety and they give you reasons to believe they aren’t being safe, then by all means search the room 
I just had to do this to my nieces room and I found a ton of vapes, weed, and also the weed vapes that have been going around our area laced with fentanyl or heroin. I’d rather invade my child’s privacy than end up finding them in their room dead
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My kids don’t have privacy because there’s 5 of them & they’re always in each other’s business 
I wish they WOULD keep some things to themselves & sneak around a bit. It would give me some confidence that they can think & take care of themselves in the big wide world. They have doors & locks but big mouths that they don’t shut…
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I think it depends. I’m not doing too go through all my son’s crap but if he has social media(he’s too young currently) I will monitor what’s going on there because I know there are too many predators preying on kids, but diaries and such are meant for only them.
I will definitely be a snooper when they’re older… I just won’t get caught. I place safety and security well above “respect”.
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They can have a door but I feel the need to look ima do it
I have never once done that to my son. He earned his privacy by being an honest, trustworthy kid.
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No, unless it’s for their safety (as in they have something unsafe in their belongings)
Never had to snoop thro any of my kids as they know trust works both ways. I hit lucky 2 teen have never been an issue. 8 yr old dynamite, ask me in a few more years lol
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Perhaps you can “toss their cell” looking for contraband or a shiv ? you want secretive kids give them a police state without reason
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Sure, only if you want em to hate you when they grow older and never tell you anything then keep digging into their personal space.
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I didn’t snoop until… the school found a suicide note on my daughter’s Chromebook. Now I ~lightly~ do. In this day and age you almost need to.
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The bedroom door thing is kinda funny. But they def need their privacy.
Taking the door of must be an American thing because I’ve never heard of anyone or met anyone who’s took a door off of had the door removed.
Certain things I keep an eye on, and I tell the kids I will randomly check these things and I explain its for their safety. Its their tablets and phones. I let them know I won’t read every message, but I will scan through them for key words that might indicate something unsafe. I tell them that I trust them to make safe and responsible decisions, but at their age it is easy to do something that isn’t safe without realizing it and its my job to keep them safe and educate them on how to be safe. They understand. Like my middle child is 8 and she downloaded an app that she could do live videos. I find that unsafe personally without adult supervision. To many creeps out there. I found it and explained why that is unsafe. Hasn’t been an issue since and since I explained it to her and gave her the respect she deserves as a human (I noticed a lot of parents treat their kids like property until a certain age) she understood and didn’t feel like I invaded her privacy. I dont consider cyber monitoring with children an invasion of privacy. Other than that I dont go snooping. If I clean up their desks or something like that and see something concerning I’ll explain I was cleaning and ran across it and we discuss. No judgment, no punishment unless it is something we have discussed not doing or it is something they know is dangerous.
Now if my kids start to give me a reason for their safety or others to start invading privacy, I will do it.
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Bedroom doors closed at night help fires from spreading and can save your life. If you want to be snoopy do it in another way that doesn’t interfere with safety.
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Definitely need a bedroom door!
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99% of the time, they need privacy and should be given it. The only time I ever “invade” privacy is when there are significant reasons. My son (13) started failing classes, sleeping in class, not doing schoolwork, etc. while they were still doing at-home online school. I took away electronics and toys, it didn’t phase him. I then realized when I’d come into his room he would close the tab on his chromebook where he was watching YouTube or playing a game during school time and I couldn’t take his chromebook away (obviously). I started having him keep his bedroom door open so I could see him doing schoolwork, he would close it constantly when I wasn’t near his room because I’d be helping/taking care of my other school aged child and my youngest daughter. I finally resorted to taking his door off so he could never lie or close YouTube/game tabs before I came in, as I was opening his door for the millionth time. I gave it back after a week or so under the premise that he will keep the door open during school and he did just that.
They need their bedroom door
Im not nosey with my kids. Kids are all diff tho. I feel like my boundaries with them gave us better relationship when they teens. Obviosly if there was something scary goin on i would snoop tho
If they’ve never given you a concrete reason to snoop. Don’t snoop.
Children are not property and need to learn how to manage their privacy. Taking a bedroom door does several things, 1 it’s incredibly unsafe if there’s a house fire. A closed door saves lives, it teaches your children that you do not trust them and they cannot trust you, and makes sure that they can’t ever just relax.
Snooping should only be done in cases for safety.
The better option is to build a relationship with your children that allows them to feel that they can come to you with anything, that you’re not going to blow up on them, berate or belittle them for their choices (they are children after all, their brains aren’t developed yet and will make mistakes) etc. That you’re going to be able to discuss anything they need and collectively come up with a solution to what’s going on that allows them autonomy but keeps them safe.
Going overboard just means they’re not going to come to you with anything, and parenting via force and fear just doesn’t work. It creates sneaky kids who will do what they want but just making double sure that you won’t find out.
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Nah my daughter is 15 and I’ve never snooped on her macbook or phone or anything! I always use them, she just gives me them if I ask if she had anything to hide she’d be reluctant to so I trust her! Unless they’ve given you reason to check, I wouldn’t
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I think this entirely depends on the situation. For starters, your child (at any age) deserves and has a right to their own privacy. Also in my opinion, if it’s not yours then it’s not your business, leave it alone.
However, if it’s a case where you are concerned for your child’s safety or well being, and you feel this is the only option then by all means, do what you need to do but make sure it is done respectfully.
Kids absolutely deserve privacy. But also if my kid started acting out or different in a negative kinda way and refused to talk to me or her therapist about it then yea I’ma snoop some to see if I can figure out what’s bringing my girl down so we can fix it together.
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Bedroom door yes but I believe u should snoop just a little . Kids won’t tell us everything but it’s good to know what their dealing with just in case something is happening
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U better snoop an see who an what’s goin on in they life take off the door knob or don’t have a locked door an don’t knock to enter
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What if you had no bedroom door because your parents took it off?
I snoop. Never taken a door but have gone through chromebook. He has gotten in trouble with it. Made a target list. I am catching before the school catch him again. I didn’t before. He had privacy. But since the reason was given I check everything on it. So the real question is. Has your daughter gave you or your husband a reason not to trust her? If not than I would stick to letting her have privacy. Being a teenager isn’t a reason. If she has I still wouldn’t take the door I would just do random checks on everything.
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Of course they need a bedroom door what the he’ll
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Is you have a reason yes
Unless the kids give you reasons to warrant being searched, let them have their privacy
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If you want to know what your children are really doing then yes, snoop. Leave the bedroom door on tho
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We all need our own private space. How would he like it if he didn’t have a door on his office or man cave or whatever or curtains so everyone could see what he was doing 
bet he wouldn’t like it so why is it any different to a child
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I don’t snoop… but my kids have never given me a reason to maybe if I thought they were on drugs etc I would
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u keep the bedroom door on their room. They deserve privacy just like adults do. Husband sounds like a controlling a**hole honestly. How old are the children in question?
I wouldn’t snoop. They should be comfortable enough with you to tell you stuff. Being snoopy only creates sneaky hateful kids.
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i didn’t have a bedroom door n i grew up fine🤷🏻♀️
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I don’t snoop my kids are 16 now.
A bedroom door is very drastic to take away. Children deserve privacy until they give you a reason to doubt them.
Monitor internet usage as well as limiting their access, and give them trust.
And never take away the bedroom door. They have many reasons for THAT kind of privacy!
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You are the parent do what you want. But let me tell you that you can only trust a child as far as you can throw them. Remember you were a kid once and I’m sure you weren’t 100% an obedient saint. Now I’ve never removed doors they can have privacy to get dressed and if they’re teens and “discovering” their body I damn sure don’t wanna see that.
If there’s an important reason reason. Example: lMy oldest daughter went through a severe mental health crisis where She was attempting suicide, mental health resources in my area are atrocious- I called everyone within 3hrs of us & the wait list was months long. The school at one point was calling child services b/c they were trying to get the state to help me get her in sooner. She shut us out completely during that time so going through her things & phone was the only way to keep her safe which I’m glad I did b/c after I locked up all medications & sharps in the house she had hidden an exacto knife she was planning on using for her 4th attempt at suicide. If there’s a valid reason then yes, snoop. Otherwise I wouldn’t.
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It depends? How old are they? Is there a particular reason you want to go through their things or remove their door?
My kids are 8 and 4. They currently share a room. They both have special/different needs. My oldest (adhd, odd, Asd) has made a habit of taking food to his room eating part of it and just leaving it in random places (despite the no food in bedroom rule because of this). At one point he also took my inhaler (that was put up. He had to climb 6 feet up and dig through a drawer to get it) and sprayed it out because he liked the sound. For those two reasons alone, we frequently go through their room (especially if something has gone missing) and because they only close their door when they’re doing something they’re not supposed to, they are not allowed to keep their door closed unless they are changing.
But our circumstances are different than what is…normal.
This is just our personal situation though.
In general i would say…there’s a lot that would go into whether or not it’s appropriate.
I believe they need some privacy. And a bedroom door. But if they are displaying dangerous behavior or possibly illegal, snooping is absolutely necessary as well.
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My parents took my bedroom door and I never trusted them with anything again. I believe there has to be a good balance between awareness and privacy.
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Giving them privacy is a sign that you respect them; respect is earned.
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And if go personal items I’d go through if there rumored of drugs
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I do random searches through there phones but not there bedrooms. I do there phones but that was the agreement for them to get a phone. I don’t go through messages except my son’s I do, only because when I was looking at his search history he got a nasty message from a friend. He’s 14 yes I know he’s going to talk dirty and nasty but I didn’t like the words so we discussed it. I mainly check search history and see whom they talking to if I see a name I don’t recognize I ask about
They never know when I’m going to look in there phones I do it randomly. Never there bedroom though
No, not unless they give you a reason to be suspicious of them hiding something
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Somewhere in the middle. I believe they do need their privacy…to an extent. If they are acting “off” ,I feel a parent can and should snoop.
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Children absolutely need privacy ask your husband how he would feel if some one took his bedroom door.
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I have a 14 amd 8 year old I go into their rooms and straighten up. My 14 year old is sneaky so I go through her stuff if you give me a reason I will go looking
I think older children need privacy but if im concerned for there well being. I will do what I must. I’m the parent first before friends.
I never have went through my kids room phones a different story now if they give me a good enough reason I’ll check their room.
Ummmmmmmmmm…this question alone makes me think of school shootings…sometimes I wonder if a bedroom check could have prevented some. I do check my daughters phone. She is 10 right now but I don’t think checking up is harmful.
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If you suspect they could be doing something that could harm themselves, you’re obligated to know and protect them
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I didn’t “snoop”. However I was in and out of their rooms-untying clothes away-vaccuuming, etc. I told them there was no such thing as privacy. If there was something to hide-don’t put it in your room. However, if there had been a reason to think there was something serious, I would never hesitate to look.
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Uh yeah. They need a bathroom door. I swear some of these parents do stuff just because they can’t be stopped.
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unless you think he is in dangerous of hurting himself or others, don’t snoop. If you think he is stealing, yes then go thru his things, when he is not home. I think taking away their cell phone after a certain time at night, I think checking some social media sites to make sure your kid isn’t being targeted by a sex offender, so I guess putting some locks on their cell phone is a good idea, But I am sure they would & could figure out how to get thru them if they wanted. Everyone needs a bedroom door, Do NOT remove that
If the kid is giving you a reason by all means snoop take their door take their phone listen to their conversations
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Depending on age. They should have a bedroom door at any age. My boy is 3 and has a door… Obviously at that age i dont really need to go thru his things. I do think children need their own privacy
. but if i feel the need or have a gut feeling or logical reason to snoop or go thru their things, then i will bc i am their parent. But that doesnt mean they dont need privacy
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I give my kids privacy and only snoop if I feel I need to. But, my kids also feel they can come talk to me about anything. Everyone deserves privacy
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