I’d be thinking you’re only there for one reason, his real focus should be on both of you ,if he’s looking for a long term relationship, everybody deserves to be happy 100% focus shared on all is the best result, worst problem is someone always feels left out.
Which leads to resentment, you’re dammed if you do , dammed if you don’t !
Am I the only one that thinks it’s fucked up she keeps saying the “kid”?? 
Jealous of a mans child. You obviously are young and selfish. You should be happy that he care about his child. He’s better off without you. Notice I didn’t use the word kid. 
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Kid comes before you if you can’t handle it don’t date someone with a kid just as you wouldn’t want someone to make you choose between your own kid if you had one and them because let’s be honest the parent will pick their kid… If you can’t handle it dont date someone with a kid their kid comes first and always will
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How old are you and you obviously don’t have children I assume. How long were you dating before Xmas? I mean idk in any relationship I’d think at least a card would be nice but not every guy is into gift giving or assume that for the first Xmas it’s expected. Gifts are gifts but shouldn’t be expected even if you gave one. Good luck.
Ewwww !!!
Incase you haven’t got the hint His kid WILL ALWAYS come FIRST !!! And you should respect that
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Include yourself. He probably doesn’t know how to include you. You are responsible for the way you feel. This is the person you chose to be with knowing he and a child. You fix this.
His child is his first priority always. Secondly, gifts are gifts… you should give without expecting something in return, that way you aren’t let down.
Wow… This spiteful as a girlfriend then you’d definitely have the whole evil step mother routine perfect… I hope he ends things with you, you are just vile
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You are envious of his child!!! You need to move on. As a dad that had time to be with his child, he is doing the right thing. Spending & paying attention to HIS child… she comes first, before a selfish girlfriend!! Shame on you! 
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You asked for advice regarding your situation. I didn’t get the impression you have an issue with the child. Your concern is why when he has the child, you don’t hear from him. If you have been dating him for 10 months, then he should have been spending quality time with both of you together. Now, you need to discuss your concerns with him. If he doesn’t want the 3 of you to hang out together occasionally, then you move on. From a wife/stepmother of 25 years. And no I did not have children prior to the marriage and didn’t have no baby momma drama!
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Ewww this is gross, you’re childish
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I’d be more concerned if he was spending all his time talking to you when he has his kid! If it’s not working for you, then leave him and don’t get with anyone again who has a child/children
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I wonder if this woman has any notion of what it’s like to be an absent father? I was dragged through the courts for the RIGHT to be my eldest sons dad. Yup, the RIGHT to be recognised as his father. The process bankrupted me while she got legal aid. I paid child support religiously for 16 years, despite repeatedly travelling the 100+ miles to see my then 4yr old only to be told she wouldn’t allow it, spitting in the face of a court order I paid for.
As the years passed, my son came to me, wanted to see me, he still does at twenty. He’s my son, any partner must accept that JUST as I’ve accepted their children. This woman needs to realise that blood is thicker than water, people come and go, our kids always remain. She can accept that this man has responsibilities to his child and help him meet them without immaturity, or she can go find a nice unattached guy without a care in the world. Personally, I have every respect for the guy.
There’s no set time to introduce our kids to new partners, it should happen when there’s trust, security and stability in the relationship, which this woman clearly doesn’t have here. That would be a factor in me allowing my kids to meet any partner I’m afraid.
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Please leave him. You obviously don’t deserve him, he’s way to good for you.
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Oh honey… 
Leave… because his kid deserves better than you. You’re jealous of your boyfriends FOUR YEAR OLD. Grow up. Or at least don’t date men with children.
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I had an ex who did the same thing and you know what? Its life. His time with his child is his time with his child. If u cant respect it u should leave. He obviously has her only certain days so if yall dont live together respect him and his child. At least when hes not with her he gives u all the attention. I think you’re being selfish
You Miss, need to grow up!!
That man needs a medal!
Sorry but children come first even before the parent… and until you have a child yourself, sit back and stop complaining! Be grateful he even makes time for your ass!
Have you thought that matbe contact with you might be a violation of his custody agreement if you want answers ask him and stop calling and texting him when you know he is with his child
Can y’all picture her getting mad cause the kiddo need a bath
I would be scared of leaving her alone with my child
I hope dude runs for the hills
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His kid should come first! Honestly what are u moaning about? That you dont get enough attention? You sound like a child!
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If you’re gonna date someone with a kid you have to accept that their kid will always come before you. You’re supposed to try to form a relationship with the child and treat them like your own. Honestly you’re being pretty childish and selfish. Why not try to find an activity the 3 of you can enjoy together??
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Honey, nooooooooo… If he only gets to see his child sometimes, he is absolutely right to ignore everything else and give his child all his devotion. Thats seriously the best thing a father can do. Dont be jealous, that should make you love and respect the hell out of him. Do you know how many deadbeat dads there are out there?
But you’re right. You should break up. You’re not on his level at all, maturity wise. He deserves someone who will be supportive and understanding of his bond with his child.
Also, have you met a 4 yr old? They need a lot of attention.
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The fact that you keep calling it “kid” instead of son or daughter, or by name speaks volumes. It doesn’t sound like you are ready for a relationship that includes children. Move on.
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The kid comes FIRST in his life lady. You maybe need to develop your life a bit more so that you can handle those times.
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Go ahead and do him a favor and break it off. You should be so happy and proud that he’s spending any time with his child at all. Oh well if he doesn’t buy you anything you don’t have your own money. Obviously buying things for his child is more important.
Thats his daughter, his priority. You aint ain’t shit
It’s so nice to see a dad put his kid first. You’re over thinking it. Parenting is a hard job.
And maybe money was tight. Don’t stress the small stuff.
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You let that man go right this minute!
You don’t deserve to be with him or around his kid. As a matter of fact seeing how you think in this post I hope he doesn’t bring you around his child, scary!
And if this is your thinking I would recommend you leave single parents of your dating range.
Shame on you for being jealous of any child.
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Yeah do him and his child a favor and leave em alone.
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His DAUGHTER is probably more mature than you anyway. Did you come here to post this in a MOM group and think you were going to get asspats? You’re a crumb. He needs to leave you, and I hope you never reproduce.
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He’s being a good dad 2 his child. That’s a good thing. Him not getting u a present by should ask him about it if it bothers u. Maybe he was low on funds n figured ur the adult so he bought 4 his child?
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Jealous of a 4 year old…i’ve heard it all now! Honey, do him and that baby a favor and take a hike. You don’t deserve either of them.
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I thi k you may have came to the wrong group for advice you gonna get eaten up for dinner good luck … and it sounds like you guys should jus break it off for both of yours sakes
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I like with my bf and his 4 year old. We have him 3/4 days a week
My whole schedule planning goes around this kid
My commute home is 20 minutes to an hour and half just so I can help and pick up after work
Can’t make plans on his moms drop off days bc she doesn’t stick to the court order but it’s okay and my family is totally u derstand a and plans holidays now around this kids pick up schedule so they can see him
Dating someone with a kid… it’s hard to explain even tho it’s not your kid… you deff start a life with that child 
u deff DONT have as much time with the dad as a guy with no kids. On top of this kid he has work , and doctors and normally on the weekends I watxh the kid so he can go Fishing cause it’s good for his mental health ( was diagnosed with bipolar this year and getting out of the house is good for him )
I wouldn’t change a thing BUT ITS A LOT OF WORK if u arnt ready to support not only one person but all the kitties and family and baby momma drama don’t join
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Idk sometimes I think these fan questions are admins just trying to create chatter sometimes the shock factor is just a bit too much
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Wish he’d read this. Dump you first! Jealous of his child. Wouldn’t make a very good step mom as a matter fact I’d be scared to leave you with her… My opinion of course!! LEAVE!!
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Sounds like you’re selfish and insecure. 
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Seems like ur jealous of his kid, kids come first ALWAYS so be a woman and deal with it!
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You are jealous of a four year old? If you cannot accept her now you will never be able to. He is being a good dad.
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Please get out of that Man’s life. You’re not worthy of him.
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Children should always come before any relationship. Get over yourself.
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Do them a favor and leave. He’s trying to have a relationship with his daughter and you need to respect that instead of being jealous. If you plan on staying with him guess what? The daughter stays!! Be glad you have a man that wants to spend time with his child. A lot of kids would love to have their daddy in their lives. If you’re seriously going to be jealous of a toddler do him a favor and leave.
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Are you serious??? GIRL BYE. You only been with him 10 months so you can take several seats. 
you are SELFISH and immature. THATS HIS DAUGHTER! Kids ALWAYS come first! You will NEVER come before his daughter so you can just forget that. That’s what REAL PARENTS DO! So go find you a man WITHOUT kids since you seem like you are jealous of his daughter and so selfish.
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That child it is number one and you are number two if you can’t understand that you obviously don’t have children
Simple find a man with no kids like that his whole attention is solely on you! I get the no gift thing but if you feel like you did something expecting something in return just don’t bother doing it! Sometimes we wonder what is wrong with society and it’s not being able to be independent the days he has his daughter you should do something for yourself hang out with friends instead of wasting time worried about a 4 year old and her daddy cuz remember it’s his daughter she comes first before anyone else!
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Wow. Jealous. His kids comes first. Let him enjoy his time with HIS kid. He needs to leave you !
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Wow… Did i really read this correctly? That child comes before YOU. He will not get back missed time and kids grow VERY QUICKLY.
Find a man without a child. Better yet. Grow up first.
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It doesn’t matter if he has his kid 24/7 or visitation, a child comes first no matter what. Maybe try finding someone who doesn’t have kids . Christmas isn’t about what you get or spend. So definitely no reason to be upset
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Your obviously too immature and self centered to be with a parent. Do HIM the favor of walking away. You obviously cant handle that a CHILD is much more important than you. Smh
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Honey, kids come first. You ought to be greatful you have a man that WANTS to be in his child’s life and be a father. I’m sorry but it Judy makes you sound petty and insecure to be jealous of a child
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Kids come first if you don’t get that leave
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I don’t think you quite have what it takes to be a stepmom. I’m not trying to be mean, but if you can’t understand that the time that he shares with this child is precious, then there’s no way you’re going to be able to deal with the life of a stepmom. I was a stepmom to three girls for 8 years, and I would often offer for him to go out and do things with his girls just the four of them, even after he and I lived together. I’m not trying to be rude or mean at all, but it’s just the way it is. If after 10 months you can accept that he has a child that is his number one in his life, then you clearly don’t have kids yourself. If he put you before his kids , then I wouldn’t want to be with him anyway, because a real man never puts a woman before his kids.
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For the him not having time for you when he has his kid thing: have a kid and you’ll understand. He is busy and you shouldn’t want his attention on you at that time anyway. I have a child, and when I was dating, I definitely cut back on conversation when I was with my child. You wanting him to take his attention away from his child and give it to you isn’t okay.
However, if he doesn’t even text goodnight or anything, that’s an issue. That doesn’t take any time.
The gift thing is also weird. He absolutely should have gotten you something if it’s a serious relationship.
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Put yourself in the bin.
Children always come first.
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Maybe a MOMMY GROUP is the wrong place to post about wanting to be put before a child…idk how you’d think that would go well? You’d probably get a response in your favor on an “absentee dad page” though.
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It personally sounds to me like you are not mature enough to date a parent. You should break up with him and date people with no kids.
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You sound selfish and childish. Grow up. He is spending time with his child that he probably doesn’t see all that often and here you are throwing a hissy fit that your not the center of his attention.
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Sounds like he needs a better girlfriend.
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You will understand once you have your own children that your kids always come first. I hope you find the strength to understand this if you want to stay with him, if not try finding someone who doesn’t have kids who you can start a family with, stay strong
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I agree with the rest of the comments up here. Leave and don’t date anyone with kids. You can’t expect to be put before a child, ever.
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Ladies he’s been with this girl for 10 months and he couldn’t even get her a card!? yes the child always comes first everyone even she realizes that but to say that she doesn’t deserve a text back at some point is absurd and card at Christmas is the bare minimum and he couldn’t even do that. Everyone knows the kid comes first but to say that there’s no second place is ridiculous. Us moms put our kids first but also take care of a million other things so to expect less bc he’s a dad is giving him a pass at being a a friend, partner etc.
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Maybe hes not the one for you because your lives dont connect find you somebody that will shine and maybe one day start a family of your own
What a joke to post this in the first place like idc who you are my child comes before everyone even myself…end of explanation and maybe grow up a little before you try to link up with a person who already has a child as well as think of the fact that they was there first not you so why shouldn’t you come second?? Also your crying over not getting a gift like honestly if he’s a single parent and your not supporting the child and just doing the Bare minimum just to date the child’s father you deserve nothing in my opinion & if he’s no including in the child’s life in the first place and your his so called gf news flash it ain’t working move on…Smdh😡
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The kid thing I think it’s great that he’s not buried in his phone while he has his daughter. But you’ve been dating for ten months and not even a card…Maybe he screwed up that one but seems like you’re not on his list at all when you should be at the top right under his daughter.
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Children always come first…be grateful he even makes time for you
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Hes doing what hes supposed to. Maybe ask him to call you once that day or so, but you shouldnt be expecting texts all day. To me, it should turn you on more that hes an excellent father. If you feel in competition with his child, dating someone with kids might not be for you. Parenting is selfless.
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She must not have kids
Sorry love but his baby will ALWAYS come first. I dated someone for 7 years that had 2 kids, and I didn’t hear from him while he had his kids during the week it is what it is and you should probably end things because the concept of kids coming well before the relationship isn’t what you want in a relationship
I’m pretty sure you’re sorry you posted this question on here. You seriously ask well you got your answers.
If he has his child an you are in a relationship with him he shouldn’t ignore you its a package deal you guys should all spend time together and if he didn’t get you a card for Christmas he is using you as a layaway only when he needs you he dont want you there should be a understanding by now you would think no your worth
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Being jealous of a child, sorry but If I were the mother of the 4 year old you wouldn’t be around my child ever. You are a potential danger to my child at this point. You need to walk away and be with someone who doesn’t have kids. SMH
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For one you should be proud of your man for making his child a priority. For two if your that immature about attention for a man’s child then you shouldn’t date anyone with children. I know how you can possibly feel unimportant but your not in reality. You said he does make plenty of time for you so if your can’t handle sharing him with his own child you should move on.
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Alright, everyone. First off, stop calling this girl childish and selfish and immature. She asked for advice, not to be ridiculed. Chill out! I sincerely hope people don’t react to you all the same way you have reacted to her. She doesn’t understand because she has no children of her own. We moms understand because well…we’re moms! Now, here’s my opinion. First, I think it’s wonderful that you are lucky enough to have a man that takes care of his child. There are so many out there that don’t. I’ve got two kids by two different fathers. One walked out on us both and the other is like a part time dad sometimes. He just got married and so he doesn’t seem to have time. At least your boyfriend has his priorities straight. Kids most certainly should come first, especially when they’re small. But here’s a very important rule you may have missed. When you date someone with a child, then it’s not a competition between you or the child. You must stand to the side and let him tend to what’s most important. You will be second. A lot. Get used to it. Never try to bully him into putting you first because he won’t choose you if he’s got the right mindset. And you’ll be hurt. Second, you have got to understand that when you’re dating someone with kids, you’re in a relationship with the kids too. They come as a package deal. Reach out to him. Want to spend more time together? Take the child to the park together or go to chucky cheese. Get to know the kid too. If you’re not serious about one another, then you don’t need to be with him. Like I said. The children are a package deal. You probably should find someone who doesn’t have children if you want the attention completely focused on you because with kids, that will never happen. It will never be completely about you. End of story. And if you aren’t serious, another thing to consider is how the child will feel if he or she bonds with you and then suddenly you guys break up. The child will suffer. Maybe he’s trying to keep you both distant to protect his kid because he doesn’t want that to happen. And about the Christmas gifts, honey when you have kids you’re lucky if you can afford to buy deodorant. He may be stressed for money and having a rough time. I’ve been there. You probably should sit back and consider if you want a child to be in the midst of your relationship or not. Because the child isn’t going to go away. And if you don’t have any desire to get to know the child, then I’d say he isn’t the one for you. Just remember. It’s not a competition. And don’t be insulted over him not getting a gift for you. He again may not have had money.
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I think you should just move on if you can’t accept and appreciate that his child does and always will come first. Not trying to be mean, but that’s just how it is. He is a real man for putting his child first!
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When he has his child he should give all his attention to that child. If he had your child that’s what you would want.
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There’s nothing wrong with him. It’s you. Should be thanking him for being a good dad instead of being mad over a Christmas card. 🤦
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Word of advice, just leave and don’t date anyone who has kids. You’re obviously not ready for a relationship with anyone who has children.
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Go find someone who doesn’t have a kid lol goodness honey.
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He should be reaching back out to you to spend time together with his kid especially after that long being together. You can put your kid first but he should still treat you the same kid or no kid. My now husband has a child and I do to. Even when we had our kids Or didn’t we have he we still gave each other same attention. Sounds like he doesn’t know how to handle a relationship.
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You’re second in his life, his child will always come before you and if you can’t accept that then move along.
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You are being super selfish. Thats his daughter. He has EVERY RIGHT to ignore you, especially if he only gets her a few select days. Sounds like you’re a needy, immature and childish girlfriend that needs every drop of attention, so go and find someone without children.
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I certainly hope to hell that this is a joke post…not funny but if it’s real then you need help and should not be in any adult relationship as you sound 12!
I hope he finds better for him and his baby girl bc you don’t deserve either in your life.
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That’s exactly as it should be! Kudos to him! Find another boyfriend without kids. You aren’t ready .oir kids come first!
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I mean honestly, I was a single mom at one point about 5 years ago. I never established anything serious with anyone during that time, but when I talked to guys here and there I told them if they were going to date me that my son & I were a package deal & they would just have to be ok with that
Honestly, you should leave him so he can be the good father he is and focus his attention on his child. You would be doing him a favor. A child will always come first over a partner. Hell, I’ve been married 5 years and would leave my husband for my child if it came down to it and don’t date someone with kids if you can’t accept it.
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If you can’t handle your man actually being a DAD and your jealous of his 4 year old daughter you need to GOOOOO.
Grow up
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How old are you??? Thsts ridiculous. Thats agood man that will put his child before his girlfriend. Let the man devote all his time to his child when he has her. If you can’t hang you should not be dating someone with a child.
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Listen to you people show kids they come before anyone else no your significant other should be valued and important too just cause u have your kids does not mean u ignore all other relationships even married couples your relationship should come first kids come second not there health or well being needs of course but they should see mom and dads relationship is valuable and priority and set example not have spoiled entitled kids kids do play on their own they dont need mom and dad to attend there every move they need some independence and be shown other relationships are important as well and set that example so they know what’s healthy. have a conversation with him and tell him you are hurt by this your not expecting the world just some respect and adoration shown when he is with his daughter your not asking too much for a simple 2 second reply back people you are so ignorant she just wants a simple reply back to her messages not feel like shes not important or no longer exists when he has his daughter… it’s not immature or jealousy its feelings of not being important what so ever she should still be just as important myb not with his time but with effort and feelings as she was when he doesnt have his daughter good luck hun dont listen to rude people they probably always have something ignorant to say about any topic it’s there shitty character not yours! All you stop putting people down build them up and help them in hard times as you would want back have nothing nice to say then keep quiet!!
Please dump him so he can find someone who cares about others and not just themselves
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It’s hard but the kids always come first love! Don’t take it personally instead work on your relationship with him that way one day you can possibly be in her life too! But don’t leave just because he has his kid he’s got a huge responsibility with that child
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Wow!! Who gets jealous of a 4 year old?! Honestly you’d be doing him a favour leaving. Get over yourself lady.
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His kids comes first. His kid was there before and after you! … if you can’t be with a MAN taking care of his responsibilities…move on…but, the sounds of it, he is about to dumb you!
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Sounds like its time for you to be single.
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4 year old’s are a handful. You musr not have kids 🤦
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People are harsh in these comments! My husband and i both had kids of our own when we met. Although I respected his time with his son, it takes 2 seconds to text someone back. The 4 year old obviously takes nap and goes to sleep sometime, it takes effort. Especially being together for almost a year and not getting even a christmas gift from him. I dont think shes over thinking it. I would leave. Not because I think shes being selfish. But because shes not getting any type of effort out of him at all. If you date someone while having a kid, you have to know how to balance it. Period.
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I’m sorry but I disagree with you. If you really think about what you are saying it sounds a tad crazy. You are in competition with a 4 year old???
He is being a Dad. Stepping up to the plate and being present for his baby. That should always be his #1 priority.
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Don’t date a man that already has kids of you can’t be ok with his kid being a priority.
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By the sounds of it when his kid is around ur not ? Does he not allow u over when he has her?
His kid comes first and that’s exactly how it should be. You need to find a hobby to do while your boyfriend has his daughter, or start hanging out with both of them.
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