Maybe dad should try to plan something fun for them to do together. So they can have alone time.
Don’t make him come. The courts made me see my mom. I hated itm killed our relationship. Leave the boy alone.
If the mother doesn’t have the son over there for court ordered visitation, then SHE can be in trouble for contempt.
Im in a somewhat similar situation but completely different age wise. How all the moms on here are acting for your question is EXACTLY why I never ask for help. While you could of worded things differently, I feel alot of people on here have zero idea how divorce works during covid or the fact that divorce is very expensive. Not to mention people who are offended by the whole brat thing lol, my kids are straight up assholes… yall trying to say yalls aint?? Keep your head high, don’t force the situation but definitely encourage him to keep trying with the son. It’s never easy at any age, but with him being a teen it will be harder. Ask him to do solo dinners throughout the week or something to see if that can help some. While none of us “homewreckers” are wanted around, fuck these ppl that say it’s none of your business… its hard to watch the person you love struggle to have a relationship with their kids and I know that from the same situation your in. You and your fiancé just keep your head high, if your presents upsets the child or if he is struggling with the divorce which is a huge likely, I would just simply encourage from a distance and try for the solo time with dad, like I said even if its just dinner it can be time for just them and things can change down the road. Good luck though!!!
His whole world has changed 
he is 13 years old a child, have his dad sit down and talk with him Away from everyone , he’s at such a sensitive age right now, listen to him and see what u can come up with.
The stuff about cps:roll_eyes: all kids use this dont worry, my daughter (12) told me she was ringing childline on me the other night 
why? Cos she didn’t like her dinner, i told her she could have my phone after she was finished to ring them:joy: honestly kids say stuff like this all the time, it doesnt mean they will and if he does CPS is trained to spot fake stories i wouldnt be worried about that but i would be concerned his parents divorce is obviously affecting him more than the others
Could maybe the mom be putting stuff in his head?
Is anyone acknowledging the text messages the 13 yr old sent? Like that is never okay under any circumstances.
I would not force him. Let him make his decisions and wait it out. He may just be going through some stuff and I’m sure his mom may be swaying his decision a bit as well.
Counseling. For all of you.
You sure it’s the kid saying this and not the mom? It’s all through text?
You need to leave a 13 year old to make their own mind up! And keep out of it.
In most states, a child can legally tell a judge where he wants to be at 14. Just bc you’re not happy with the child’s feelings don’t mean you punish him for them. His parents JUST got a divorce and he needs to process that. He’s allowed to have feelings. Secondly, just bc someone pays child support does NOT make them a father. Does your fiance spend time with the kid, actually do something with the kid? If not, I’d probably not wanna be there either. If you wanna play the supportive wife role, make sure your husband is being a real father to his own kiddo before expecting him to play daddy to your kids from another relationship
From my own personal experience, don’t force him to do anything.
Have the dad take him fishing or something they can do alone,
Be there for your husband.
Use caution to not overstep.
I say this as a woman who has helped raise my son-by-marriage from age 7 to now 18.
I have thoughts, perspectives, and suggestions, but ALWAYS left the major choices to his biological parents.
This helped us develop a different kind of bond and he ultimately wanted to move in with us full-time when he started highschool after never really wanting to be here because we had stricter rules.
On another spectrum, my biological son’s stepmother constantly tries to force us to do things the way she believes is best. Even when my sons father and I disagree.
She insists she should have equal say but she should not.
She should discuss her feelings with my son’s father and leave the big choices to both he and myself.
My son does not like being around her whatsoever and it breaks my heart because he loves his father.
Be there for your husband. Do research and make suggestions. But allow him to choose to fight or not.
Develop a relationship with your stepson at HIS pace, not yours.
Try not to minimize his feelings by thinking of him as a “brat” for having them.
Research, pay attention, learn about him, and grow.
It’s not easy being a stepmother. And I’ve made lots of mistakes.
But my step-son sees me as his mom. And it took many years for that love and trust to develop.
Raising children is a marathon, not a sprint. Their wants, wishes, and needs change constantly, seemingly overnight at times, and it’s up to you and your husband to adapt in order to raise this specific person.
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Prayers. Maybe therapy might help him
Wow That man needs to RUN far away from you .
I recently got back with my ex who now has a 12 year old son we have been living together for a year now!! His son has no rules and does what he wants to do the bio mom has been in the hospital since thanksgiving last year and he stays with his grandparents and we get him on weekends and sometimes during the week!! He back talks is disrespectful and acts like he has no rules his mom from what the kid tells me hasn’t really been a mom anyways bringing men in and out blah blah blah well I told my boyfriend that the way his kid acts needs to be fixed when he is over here and that he needs to have rules as well!! I’m tired of being ran over so guess what this past weekend he was made to follow rules he was told his new rules and that if he doesn’t follow them he will be grounded over here and have nothing and if he chooses to not come the weekend he is supposed to be grounded over here then he will be whenever he decides to come over!!
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Hes at a detrimental age. Dad needs to have a conversation with him. Figure out his feelings and emotions on the situation at hand.
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This comment section did not pass the vibe check. 
Dont force it. Dad needs to do things with him with just the 2 of them. Divorce is hard on kids and the dad probably broke his mom’s heart. So just pray about it and give it time. Oh and teenagers can be very difficult. Good luck.
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He’s a 13 year old who just had his parents go through a divorce. He’s going through that on top of normal teenage hormones. Just let him stay home if that’s what he wants to do 
. When I was 13 EVERYTHING was boring. It didn’t matter what we did, I was bored because I was a moody hormonal teenager who wanted to stay home and play some games or hangout with a friend. As the other 2 get older they might say the same kind of stuff you’re own child will probably say it too. I’ve never met a teenager who didn’t get mean and nasty at least a few times
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The harder you push. The harder they push back. No offense but you sound a bit inconsiderate. Divorce for kids is harder than you would think and maybe he just wants his mom right now. Yeah it would be good of him to spend time with y’all but maybe try to accommodate him by providing some sort of activity or dinner when the kids comes. A game night. Not really a bribe but something he can look forward to. Yes he should spend time with his dad but sometimes kids just need to go through their thing. It probably won’t last long. And when he’s there make sure he feels like you guys want him there. He’s going through body changes and life changes that are a lot for a 13 year old. The last thing you guys want to do is push him into a depression at this stage.
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Sounds a little like the 13 yo feels he HAS to “protect” his mom as the oldest male. Could be mom is saying little things to make him feel he has to stay and he’s tryn to accommodate this by throwing shade at yalls place
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The kid is old enough to make his own decisions. If he doesn’t want to come then it’s up to him 
you shouldn’t be trying to force him! Or maybe make it a little less ‘boring’ and do things with him and spent quality time with him to make him actually enjoy his time with you. But other than that u ain’t gonna get full custody if the child is saying he don’t wanna coke at weekends that’s just pathetic. And if he don’t wanna come he’s old enough to make his own choice and u can’t force him.
The fact you’re even calling him a brat makes me wonder why he doesn’t wanna come 
he has feelings and has his own brain to make his own choices leave him alone.
Also paying for his child each month has nothing to do with it. He should pay it regardless of whether you see him. He will want to be with his mates and doing his own thing not sitting at his dads all weekend! And if I was the mother of this child and I saw your post I wouldn’t be sending him full stop.
Also you told him to put his foot down with him? Who do you actually think you are ? You wanna hope his mum don’t see this lol what kind of step mum are you? And if the child wants to be signed over to someone else well… that says an awful lot about you both.
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Like he’s 13. A child. And it feels like you are taking this extremely personally. “Pull some shit like that”… He just wants to be with his mom right now 
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And if you have a problem with child support, you shouldn’t have got with someone who has so many obligations.
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Forcing the kid to come isn’t going to help… You’re going to now have a problematic child in the home… Going for full custody would be only to suit the Dad as the child doesn’t even want to be there… at 13 I think its safe to say a child can verbalize their likes and dislikes… and it isn’t anything wrong with them not wanting to come.child support or not… You need to take a back seat as ultimately this is fresh with the kids… Dont do to much as you are just looked at as the person who changed there life
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Child support doesn’t mean mandatory visits. Lol just wanna call that out. Maybe it’s the way you worded it… but if the child doesn’t want to come, then don’t make him. Let it go… teenagers are difficult enough with raging hormones and puberty. Respect his decision. He will come around when he is ready. The harder you push, the farther away he will want to be.
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Id personally mind my own business.
And I’m actually married. My husband’s issues are his. I’ll help if he asks but he’s a grown ass man, usually sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong makes it worse.
And I’ve played step mom before. Hate to break it to you but kids especially teenagers don’t even take what their own parents say seriously
So you aren’t even a thought in his mind.
Worry about your own baby.
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What do you do? Support the child 
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Hmm seems like theres more to the story than this. A teen doesnt wanns go so they think the solution is to force them?! Ha! That will work. NOT. And so what about how much child support the dad pays! Money doesn’t equal your right to a human being. Ridiculous. How many times have we seen terrible terrible things happen to kids and at the end the wife is shook cause " I never thought he could ever do something like that" ?? Maybe she needs to actually try getting on the kids level to figure out what’s going on. Maybe then he will trust you. Maybe then he will want to be around you. Sheesh I feel this is common sense !?! Yalk have some wackos writing in I swear the things I see posted here are just…
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One thing you could do is make your house more fun. You live in the country go muddin, teach him how to shoot rabbits with a bb gun, get a 4 wheeler and go 50mph over some hills, go to a rodeo and watch someone ride a bull and possibly be kicked into the next life. The other 2 will start to tell him how much fun they have over at your house and the rest will follow suit.
Also he might look at you as the reason his parents split. The problem might be with you and not his dad ots just easier to make stuff up and blame his dad.
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He’s a teen…he wants to be with his.mates…my daughter was the same at that age…way to hang your step son out…
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I have found out by my own experience, u shouldn’t force this. At this age they are confused , even though is been 2yrs. They hate betraying the other parent most of the time. If u push teenagers push back harder. I let my girls choose, even if I new it wasn’t right. In the end they knew , I was were they needed to be.
First and foremost I’d like to ask what the child support has to do with the child ? That isn’t the child’s issue nor obligation. That doesn’t give you or the father a right to say well we pay so you have to come with us . How about literally just listening to the child . If he told you it’s boring maybe evaluate what exactly you all do when the kids come, because you have them on the weekends ( their free time from school ) I’m sure they don’t want to just hang at the house doing much of nothing . The kid is going through a huge change in hormones around that age, he’s going to be a little more difficult. He may be a brat now but so will all the kids at some point, including yours. Actually talk to him and see what type of things he likes and maybe what you can do to make your home more fun and more like home to him . Why not let him invite some friends over ? Do a little football game in the yard? Something?
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You are gonna uproot this kid, bring him to wear he doesn’t want to be. My daughter is gonna be 13, she doesn’t like going with her father either. Think about the damage, you will be doing to your children, if you bring him to somewhere, he doesn’t wanna be. You think forcing him is gonna make it better. You are gonna bring so much havoc into your household. Think about having to call the cops, all the time, because he may start acting out, or running away. Think about how this will effect his schooling. Think about how he feels. Don’t force him. You will do more damage in everybody’s life.
Hes upset it’s a big change hes had to deal with his mum and dad breaking up and hes 13 full of hormones it doesn’t happen straight away with kids it takes years for them to process stuff and now hes realised all this you just need to let him know that no matter what you love him and wont give up on him and your view of him wont change, maybe your kids are being nasty to him and it hurts him more than you realise? Saying they’re smart, I mean that’s only something youd say if they or you believe hes stupid?
First, is the mom unfit, if yall trying to get full custody. And, don’t force a child, if they don’t want to. I was doing the same thing with my daughter. She didn’t wanna go with dad, because she likes staying home. She would cry so bad, when I would force her to go. I finally told her dad, im not forcing her to go anymore. You get full custody of him, and yall are gonna have a lot of problems in your house, if he doesn’t even want to visit.
He’s a teenage boy, it’s completely normal. Give him space. He’s thing through alot it seems. Relax.
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Don’t force it. Hed be miserable. Everyone at the house would be miserable bc of his attitude of not wanting to be there. Same thing with my step son who is 15. He only comes one weekend every 6 weeks or so and thats his choice. Teens and pre teens like their space and don’t want to be annoyed with younger siblings. It’s probably just a phase
I say let him stay with his mom if that’s what he wants. He will only continue to cause issues if he’s forced. Your fiancé needs to grow a pair of balls and have a sit down conversation where you, the mom, him and the kid are all in that conversation. He is old enough to do this with y’all. You, the mom and your fiancé need to be on the same page before this conversation and once the child sees you are all on the same page, the shit he’s pulling will decrease. Don’t get it twisted though, he will still pull some amazingly dumb shit (that’s what kids do), you just have to have open communication. And above all, remember YOU are the “step” parent, so your roll should be one that helps guide and give love……never discipline!! And yeah, it sucks to see “punishment” be done maybe opposite of how you would, but you just have to be the adult and ride with whatever decision is made. And the mom and father need to ensure he is following rules and adhering to them. This is the part where being a good parent blows. It’s a thankless job and it’s super hard at times, so focus on the big picture and keep pressing on. I think maybe this kid may feel some sort of way about the relationship you and his father have. And now that you two have a child, this young man maybe having a hard time with it and he’s acting out…even if you have been nothing but nice. Please try to refrain from comparing him to his other two siblings, I’ve had that done to me and it hurts because I am my own person and have my own feelings. I have a soon to be 18 year old stepdaughter and maaaaan, it is trying times in our house right now me and the hubby struggle at times, me more so than him because I’m limited on what my role is (this is my choice). I have a son who is 22, in the military and has his own home, a few cars and some “fur kids”. So I know a few things because I’ve seen a few things. I wish you the best in this situation, hold on tight because it’s a bumpy ride!!
Don’t fight but tell dad not to give up. Tell dad to constantly ask him to still come over even if he doesn’t want to. I think he’s at the age where it’s more fun to be with friends and blah blah blah. He’s 13 he knows what he wants. I get he pays child support but reality is he doesn’t want to come, why force? It’s just going to cause way more stress and problems for the 3 of you.
Honestly he may get full custody of the younger 2. But the older one will get to choose. At that age it’s up to them. I wouldn’t force him to come. I would let him come at his free will because it’s just ganna cause resentment. But try coming up with things to do so it’s not so boring. My kids love the country. They’d have a blast
A lot of bitter baby mamas in here. Jesus. First of all, idk where y’all are from but where I am at kids don’t get to choose not to go to court appointed weekends with the noncustodial parent UNLESS the noncustodial parent agrees until they are 16. In fact the mother could be held in contempt of court by allowing him not to go which could lead to dad getting full custody. The best interest of the child is to have a relationship with mom AND dad. And don’t come at me with “it’s the child’s choice” garbage. I was a 13 year old once and my parents were divorced and I hated going to my dads. But he fought for me and I continued to go. To me that showed he cared. Rewarding this behavior with lavish outing for just him sounds ridiculous and will grow to be what he expects as a reward for visiting his dad and THAT is ridiculous. I think y’all should try and do family therapy. Maybe he is working through some stuff and therapy can help.
What does him paying support have to do with the kid not wanting to come over.
Plus he’s 13. They don’t want to be in their own homes, let alone their dads home with his new wife and kids.
We need to stop demanding acceptance and cooperation from our kids for our own life decisions.
" he pays so much a month for the kids"… What does that have to do with anything? Why even bring that up?
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You can’t force him. If he doesn’t wanna go he doesn’t have to. 12 or 13 is the age a judge let’s the kid decide where they wanna go and with which parent.
- don’t call him a brat cause that’s not going to make him want to come around more.
- ask him to come over so y’all can talk and figure out what’s going on.
- remind him he is loved and you only want what’s best for him.
Make sure his dad is doing the talking because even though you’re engaged, you’re not his mom… he needs his dad
It’s not your job to force him to come to your house. If he doesn’t want to he shouldn’t have to.
And please give us a 90 day up date.
Leave him alone… if he doesn’t want to come don’t force him
Holy crap! Yall are some ignorant people!! 
I’m glad she posted anonymously… So yall would follow your own ignorance if given to you?! Dang! Rude AF!
The kid just watched his family dissipate and you got the gall to call him a brat?!
And did you really comment on the fact his dad pays support, as if he OWES his father something in return?!
This isn’t even your husband yet and you’re already starting your shit.
Get back in your lane and reevaluate the situation like a grown ass adult… not a brat.
This kid is the oldest and known this man his entire life…a far stretch from the 2 years you’ve been screwing him for. You have no right to act like you know more than he does and call him a liar while you just know their relationship from the side line.
You’re gonna darken this kids life, keep this up.
I don’t like you.
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For a STEP mom, you sure sound like you think you’re entitled to make the boys decisions for him and know better than himself or his actual mother.
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First… He’s not being a brat. He’s ALLOWED to feel the way he feels. Sounds like YOU are a big issue in this, considering the way you talk about him. He’s a teenage boy. Of course he’s not gonna want to come every weekend… You have the audacity to invalidate him.
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Stay in your lane sis
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Kids brains aren’t fully developed. The fact his parents just split up is traumatic let along his dad already being serious w someone. This is normal after a divorce. Kids are humans with feelings. Tread very lightly. Do not punish this child for having feelings. The divorce may feel like dad’s fault to him and he wants to punish him. It’s not right but he’s a child and mom might be giving him ideas.
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My son is 13 and everything is boring and he stays in his bedroom. Let him get through this teenage stage and just continue to show love.
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A 13 yo doesn’t want to go see his practically brand new family and you’re trying to force it? I’m 20 now and can still remember how annoyed I was when my parents separated and I was bombarded with a whole new set of people and less attention and love. Forcing them is going to do the opposite and that’s not even your decision to force it. Sounds like he is uncomfortable and feels unwelcome there. Make sure he knows he is always welcome when he wants to spend time there. I remember being 13 and my dad dragging me fishing, it sucked as a 13 year old to be tagged along for things I didn’t have an interest in. Now as an adult I beg my dad to take me to do stuff. He’s literally figuring stuff out and his world has completely changed. Give him room to accept it and have feelings about it. If you were forced to go sit somewhere you were unfamiliar with and have a relationship with someone you don’t know and don’t have your frontal lobe yet, you’d also pitch a fit for being forced. The only thing you have to “force” is the knowledge that his father will always be there when he needs him. That’s what parents are for. For when the kids need them, forcing them to want it, will absolutely do the opposite. It will ruin whatever “want” he has left for being over there.
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I mean the kid sounds like his mum has been in his ear or he’s been listening to his mums conversations with friends. Like what kid says I’m scared your going to hurt me if the mans never raised a hand to them? Maybe it’s the mum talking to her friends saying she scared he will take the kids for good or hurt the kids and he’s trying to be on hos Mums side amd now saying he doesn’t want to go coz he really doesn’t want his mum upset or feeling that way? And he’s using the words she has said lime I’m scared to go coz you might hurt me type stuff. I mean unless these kids have been through child protection then they won’t even know what it is so I feel like someone’s playing with his head and he’s just very unsure where his loyalties lie and he doesn’t want to upset or rock the boat or something.
Maybe the younger kids want to live with dad and if he throws that on the mix that dad might hurt us then dad won’t be able to go for full custody until that has been addressed and conformed or proven wrong. I don’t know but somethings not right
I would have a sit down with all the kids and the mother and talk it out. And discuss why he may be feeling that way in an open setting with everyone he loves. Maybe show you can all get along and he might feel more at peace and open up.
And for all these mean people saying you are not the mother, you may not be his biological mother but you sure as hell are his step mother and entitled to an opinion as he obviously is part of your family now
I believe you shouldn’t force a child to go somewhere where they don’t want to if the dad wants to see his son he can put in the effort to go see his son instead of force his son to come see him
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I’ve been in this position as a child. I don’t think you should be forcing it at all. Make it more fun when he does come, give them lots of tiMe alone with their father. Also your job in this is to support your boyfriends emotions I. All of this and keep your mouth shut to the child who is having issues. You won’t make it better and it’s not your place to say a thing. That’s how you could be helpful in all of this.
He can stay at his mums every weekend by himself them and the other 2 can come and enjoy themselves. I would personally be getting the kid therapy if he really is making up things like that too
Bes not being a brat, he’s being a teenager. They have other interests at that age and perhaps he wants to spend weekends with his friends etc. Just leave him be you can’t force him.
My 14 year old doesn’t always go to his Dad’s when his younger brothers do either, which his Dad and I fully expected to happen at this age.
He is 13yrs old, being over dad’s is boring!! U can’t make him think it’s fun…he doesn’t want to spend the weekend…maybe dad just spends the day with him, them take him home.
U stepping into a situation and putting ur personal feelings into a situation without thinking of the 13yr old feelings.
He doesn’t want to go, he’s making that clear. Your fiance should maybe reach out to him, tell him he understands he isn’t comfortable at the home and wishes it were different but he understands. That being said set aside a few days a month were he goes to his son. Takes him for lunch, dinner, a game, a movie, even a walk. Just something to spend time with him to stay connected. Maybe enjoying the time alone together will encourage him to want to continue into the evening.
Back off and let your fiancée be a father to his kids.
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Forcing him into full time custody is an AH move. Keep an open door, no hassle policy and invite him EVERY SINGLE TIME. He’s a person too
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Teenagers. That’s all it is. Get him an Xbox n he’ll soon wanna come over 
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I’m at a loss at how you lack understanding… I’m at a loss at how the amount of child support is even brought up! Grow up!
Dad needs to fix this by spending time with just his son.
STOP TRYING TO FORCE HIM TO COME!! HE DOESN’T WANT TO get the other kids for visitations, get him for a few hours…
If the kid doesn’t wanna come why is he being forced ? Or why is it an issue ? Sdrawde Khymberli me mussi miss the memo to rasss
Leave him were he is then
Leave the oldest with his momma…
If u were my kids step mom n I saw this status about my son none of my kids would be coming to your house! Teenagers wanna be out with their mates not sitting at dad’s n a bunch of lil kids on a weekend, their dad needs to find something that the son enjoys and do that with him. Forcing him to do anything shouldn’t even be an option unless u wanna drive him away for good.
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Don’t let that little asshole intimidate you. Do what’s best. Take the 2 that want to be there. He is, legally, able to decide what he wants to do. You need to suck it up. You have a guy with 3 children & if you didn’t think you be raising them, you were stupid or selfish or both. If you don’t want that responsibility, say goodbye now.
I as a mother would make my son go see his dad bc one that’s his damn father and two I need a damn break lol mom needs to put her foot down as well with this kid. I am so sorry you are going through this. I think it would be best to go to court and have your husband just say what’s been going on. But honestly it sounds like the mom is feeding this kid a lot of bullshit. Just bc I’ve seen it Happen that’s what it sounds like to me.
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I would never make a child
Do something they don’t want to do. Just
Like if my kids don’t want to go with a certain person I definitely would not make them. This kid is a teenager and wants to do his own thing. Maybe he has friends he likes hanging out with that are closer to moms house. What’s the reasoning he’s going for full custody? Is the mom not involved like she should be? I wouldn’t take a child away from their parent for my own personal reasons. There has to be a legitimate issue
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Regardless of what he pays that is time he will never get back with his son. Teenagers are assholes. But it out job as parent frankly whether they live with us full time or not, to make them be present with the family. He needs to Make sure his sons knows that he want the time to spend with him. Plan some things to do together… doesn’t have to cost … it could be fishing or working together on a project. The main thing is sincerity and communication… that will bring a kid around every time. But they know when u are fool of shot too so if they come for 2 days and you can’t carve out any time… that is what will make them not want to come …
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Stepson doesn't want to come to our house because it's "boring"
Keep out of it. Its not your business. Trying to force a child to do anything is ridiculous. Let the parents sort it out. The boys a teenager old enough to decide for himself.
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He’s going through parents divorce and he’s a teenager…surely you can see that and not just think he’s a brat. He’s hurt, trying to deal with separation, step mum, extra siblings and puberty all at the same time!!!
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Yikes! What cs has to do with how many times he has visited?! So the kid (who is old enough to be taken in consideration) is literally saying he doesn’t want to come , and the best idea here is going for full custody?! I’m sure you’re “supportive “ of your fiancé , everything to make that cs go down I guess 
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How about staying out of it. The fact that you’re already name calling a child is shameful. The divorce is still fresh and divorce is traumatic. I cannot understand how step parents are so selfish sometimes. Girl stop.
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If his dad really wants to spend time with him, his dad will go meet him in his turf and not force him to go visit. He could take him out for a day of activities the boy likes to do. There is a lot the dad can do to build the relationship with his son besides forcing him to go to his house where he obviously doesn’t want to go.
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Well he is old enough to make his own decision even if you feel it’s unfair. It may do the dad good to talk to him tho and ask why he has put that in a text as he has never hit him. But you can’t push him to do what you want.
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He doesn’t want to visit, so the jump to going for full custody is lost on me? 
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Honestly I quit reading after my fiancé pays so much for his kids. Seems like he doesn’t wanna come over because new step mom don’t have her priorities straight 
he’s old enough to decide and if I was treated like a freaking car payment I wouldn’t wanna go around you either.
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He’s Sad and Scared.
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with the Dad. your not his mom and his love for her will cloud the hell pit of anything you try to build.
At his age he legally doesn’t have to visit if he doesn’t want to
Tell their Dad to go to his older son to visit. Take him out for the day or just cheer him on at sports.
Sleepovers are over rated anyways.
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Just support ur husband and if the oldest doesn’t want to come then leave him be. Maybe just go spend time with him if he lives close enough and do something he likes instead of trying get him to do something he doesn’t want to do.
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It’s his decision if he wants to come or not, he is old enough to make it. Although it might make his father sad it’s his right to make that decision. Child support has nothing to do with visitation. He is going through a lot and is a teenager. I think you should respect his wishes on this.
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You support your fiancé by telling him to respect the kid and stop calling him a brat and forcing him to do things he doesn’t want to do. If you force him once hes 18 he will never want to see you guys again and honestly I don’t blame him.
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The boy probably just wants to be home and be with his mates etc. I don’t believe it’s anything else. Teenagers are very rude these days and say or do anything to get their way.
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The 13 yr old enough to decide who he wants to live with weather you like it or not. You need to sit down and find out what he doesn’t like about visiting with you. Forcing him will just make it worse.let him stay home while his younger siblings visit. You husband has to arrange time with his son to talk about how the 13 yr old feels and why .and come to a agreement with him so he doesn’t lose any relationship they have .He may need to go to canceling with his son. To work out the problems.
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I have five kids the eldest has a different dad and he did the same thing at this age and the other four all were willing to go to their dads before this age now only the 11 year old will go or the others will only for a few hours . A psychologist once explained the process. Kids need their mother from birth to about 9, then they will gravitate to their father from 9 to 12 or 13 and then they will need the community for the rest. Hence the saying it takes a village to raise a child. Leave him be, doesn’t mean his father is loved any less, he’s just trying to find himself. Putting more pressure on him will only make him resent you. Good luck.
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I’m going through this with my daughter and her dad just now. He lives over a 7 hour drive away and she’s not wanting to go. It’s not because of anything bad its because she wants to be with her friend. Maybe try and make a deal with him that he comes for visits during the holidays? But here in the UK a child opinion who is 13 years old would be taken into account in any proceedings. As hard as it is to accept he is just growing up. Trying to force the issue will just drive him further away.
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Maybe the boy is upset he isn’t getting much alone time with dad when he comes over. Divorce is extremely hard on children and there has been a lot of changes for this child. I would encourage your fiancé to ask his son to go do something fun with just him (go- karts or movies) so that the son knows no matter what his father is there for him and loves him.
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He’s a kid! When my daughter turned 14 she stopped going to her dads so she could be with her friends! It’s part of them growing! Best of luck
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