He’s feeling like an outsider in your tribe you have built. Be compassionate and have Dad take him to a guy’s day out every other Saturday with just those two. Then let him go back to his moms. Child support is NOT a lease payment. He’s getting lost and bored in the chaos so let him go. He may mature and be more comfortable in a couple years
I’m in the same boat with my 7yr old boy. We live out in the country, and he would rather be with his bio dad, because they let him use YouTube, play on his xbox, and tablet whenever and for however he wants, and I don’t. I’m more strict than his father is also. So he plays this something with me.
He’ll come round when he’s ready don’t push him or will lose him for good.
Teenagers want to express their independence
From experience he may exit your lives for a few years and then he will be back.
You mentioned support,that is not payment for visits . It’s for his needs .
It’s your husband’s job to deal with this.
Be kind and support them both but try to be neutral.
Your husband could try spending some one on one time with his son away from both homes. Neutral ground,just them.
I know how hard it is to blend families and make it all work
Don’t lose yourself in these battles 
Lady stay in your lane
Broken homes have some broken feelings. #stepmomhere
Wow. You are awful the way guy are talking about him and name calling here. You need to act like an adulth. Stop trying to force him. Get over yourself. You can’t just parade into these peoples lives and start telling your fiancé wtf to do with his son.
He pays child support bevause those are his kids and that’s how he SUPPORTS them. Him doing his job in paying child support DOES NOT MEAN the child owes his dad a visit. Trying to force him to come and telling his dad what he needs to do with his child is obviously going to make the child want to stay away.
You need to know your place and stay there. This is between him and his son and their mother.
You say he’s such a brât and an azzholé then let him stay with his mom! You say he is so horrible, so then stop forcing him to try to come.
You have serious control issues.
Just from the way you sound here, if I were him, I wouldn’t want to come either. And it’s not cause I’m being a brat. It’s because I wouldn’t want to be near you.
LEAVE HIM ALONE. LET HIM STAY. AND STOP SQUEEZING INTO FAMILY AFFAIRS YOU ARE NOT APART OF.
You have been in his life 2 out of 13 years. And are forcing him and trying to force him to come. And expect him to just immediately jump into your arms and love you and be so happy with the divorce and his new step mother already. He needs time to adjust. And you need to learn some freaking compassion.
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I was right there with you until I read “he pays so much for cs” this shouldn’t be the reason you feel bad for your husband. Maybe it’s not just about him being bored
Let him be, He will come around in his own time. 13 is a bit old to be forcing. He will come around.
Send him to juvi lol but really use it as a scare tactic show him how well he has it with you guys
He is 13, he is old enough to make a decision like this for himself. If he doesn’t want to go, don’t make him. Let him decide when the time is right for him
If the kid don’t want to go, then he don’t want to go. Don’t force them
All i am going to say is TEENAGERS
Maybe don’t force him. He will come to resent you.
That okay. It’s a phase. Don’t make him.
Sounds like your both going for full custody to evade paying that much child support! No one mentioned the mom was failing her children.
Second then just let the other 2 come and eventually he may want to it he may not and even the younger 2 may not want to anymore
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What’s the mom saying behind closed doors? Currently going through this now and the mom has bad mouthed us because she finally realized my fiancé isn’t leaving me no matter what she says. Trying to make it as peaceful for the kids as possible because I have two half siblings I watched my dad fight for and their moms were awful and made everyone’s lives miserable. Try to sit down outside of either home and have a heart to heart and try to find out if there is anything going on with them that needs to addressed. Maybe he’s having a hard time without dad being with mom and it’s just now hitting him?
So it’s like my mom when she moved to Stanley? In the middle of now where? I don’t blame the kid. He’s not being a brat. He’s literally telling you “ your house is boring, I don’t want to be there” and at 13 if you go to court and he tells a judge that he will not be getting full. The 13 year old will be staying right where he is.
There isnt anything you can so. The child’s mother will either do the right thing, or she won’t do anything at all. I never let my kid pull this with his dad, I didn’t always like his dad…but that was between me and my ex and had nothing to do with his relationship with his dad.
This kid has friends he probably likes being with on weekends he is 13 so for him to be socially involved with them are very important at this time instead of trying to force a whole weekend on him give him some room how bout getting up early on Sunday picking him up for pizza or doing something with him that he likes to do in the area he wants to be in water gun fight at the park anything he is in to give him time his little brain right now is all kinds of crazy give him a little paying job once a month like help mow lawn work around the house it will make him feel important an needed instead of just one of the kids who HAS to go to dads he is the oldest help him instead of critizing him his whole world has been upended don’t add to it be a good friend and for the love of God stay in your lane about the kid his dad an any legal issues
He’s a teen and doesn’t want to come, so don’t make him. Enjoy the time with the other 2. 
I have a teenaged son who doesn’t want to hang out with his dad sometimes. I don’t make him and they have a great relationship.
I’m loving this how people are saying she should butt out maybe the kid doesn’t like her. Shit it sounds like a typical 13yr old boy being raised in the suburbs and not wanting country life cause it’s boring to him. Find things out there that would interest him, maybe have dad take him fishing my and have a real talk with him about what’s bothering him. Things can be be overwhelming at this age, but 4x in 9mo is not acceptable either. It is ok to give him space to process but it’s also a responsibility to make him include himself as well
Okay first this kid’s life has been torn up with his parents just recent divorce. Second welcome to life with kids. Third, it’s good you and your partner are there for each other. Fourth, kids that age go through their teen years thinking nobody has a clue what their life is like or that they were ever a teen themselves. Next, get the kid some counseling (honestly it would do them all some good since the divorce just happened). The child support has nothing to do with this, and bringing it up shows that you’re not helping the situation, do you say that in front of the kids, cause guess what, that is none of the kid’s business and you’re bringing them into adult issues. He had the kids, he pays for the kids, it is that simple.
If the kid has only been there a handful of times in the last month, a) welcome to teens, b) you have been together for 2 years but divorce just happened???, c) what kind of relationship do you and this kid really have because it sounds strained, d) this is something for the parents, even when divorced to decide, dad needs to do what is best for him and the child, you need to have your partner’s back, but if you’re part of the issue you have to take responsibility for that. You do not get to ignore their feelings just because you see it a different way.
The father probably cheated got the girl pregnant separated from the wife and moved in with this woman and now two years later they are engaged and he’s recently divorced!
Don’t make him come. Simple as that. Teenagers are difficult. He’ll come around. It’s possible his mother is poisoning him against you. Do you have wifi? You can’t expect him to be happy without wifi😉
Let the momma know. You’re new in the picture so in his head you’re a threat. His parents broke up that isn’t easy on a teenager. Let momma & dad handle their son. But dad needs to put his foot down his son is the child and he is the parent.
Having had a 13 year at one time I get it. He’s hormonal and my guess is he wants to hang out with his friends rather than be hanging out in the country away from them. Not to mention his life was just turned upside down with his parents splitting up. So he may feel obligated to be by his mom’s side. I honestly wouldn’t press the situation of making him come. If you make him there is going to be some resentment. When my ex-husband and I divorced we gave our son the choice of who he wanted to stay with. Well, he chose his dad which was in the house he grew up in around his friends. Anytime he called wanting to come over I’d go get him. Now he’s a great adult and a wonderful father and still close to both of us. Kids shouldn’t be forced to stay somewhere they don’t want to be let them choose. I’d of course let him know he’s missed and make it a point to stay in constant contact via text or calls. I talked to my son daily when he was at his dad’s. A court isn’t going to give dad custody if the 13 year old doesn’t want to go. Unless you can prove the mother unfit or the kids are taken away from her. If I was the dad I wouldn’t even waste the money fighting in court for custody most states are mom states and the mom wins. Instead use that money to do special things with the kids to make their time with dad memorable and fun.
That divorce is fresh and he’s not handling it well.
FYI, his child support payment is irrelevant in this scenario
Is that child in therapy? That’s a lot to process for a 13yo. Id also suggest including him into coming up with things to do at the farm with the fam. That will give him some sense of control in his life.
Don’t worry you have no real say about it. The mom will get tired of his b.s. and make him come so she can have free time
Don’t force the child of he don’t want to go leave him alone… Obviously something must be happening for him to feel that way or maybe he just wants to be w his mom or friends…
My kids dad and I agreed that it wasn’t an option. Unless they are being harmed or the environment is unsafe, they have to do visitation. Otherwise the parent who believes the child doesn’t need to do visitation will need to take it to court to try and change it. Teenagers always push on these things. Talk to the other parent and either agree there’s no choice but to do visitation, or they need to go to court to change it. The child at 13, will have a voice to the Judge, but for the reasoning of I’m bored, I don’t think the judge would grant the change. But that would be a conversation for the lawyer, if it gets that far.
Leave the kid alone. At 13 they’re old enough to decide which parent they want. Don’t be selfish. Also, IF, and I’m not assuming you were or weren’t, if you were the home wrecker that caused the divorce, he’ll probably hate you and his dad forever - and he has that right.
Sign over them rights but get the other two. Kids these days, ESP if they know about CPS, manipulate so much it isn’t worth it. I understand it’s his child, but it’s causing more grief and strife, just let him know he’s making his own decision and if they decide to rekindle their relationship later the dad/husband will just have to explain to him what he did to make that decision.
Sounds like the ex (mom) is filling kids head !
Let him make his decision and stay with his mom.
Let the kid go and stop paying for him simple as that
Give the poor boy a break. He went through hell and back
Let him do what he wants or he’ll just cause problems… he’ll come around eventually
Immmmmmm just gonna keep my mouth shut cuz I’m not gonna be nice…
I had a lot of problems with my dad & step mom growing up & my mom forced me to go over there leading to a lot of unnecessary drama. (Granted that side of myself family can be emotionally manipulative & eventually she saw how much it negatively affected ME & she stopped forcing me.) DO NOT FORCE HIM. You will only hurt your relationship more & when he’s old enough (a judge would take his feelings into consideration at a certain age) and he’s old enough to decide. I understand your feelings are hurt, but you have to take into consideration how HE feels. His body is changing; moms house is “home base” whatever the case is — he’s unhappy. You need to figure out why. But DO NOT force him. You will only hurt your relationship. Also refrain from name calling - that won’t help anything.
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Leave him home with his mom, he’s a teen, how would u feel if u had to go where u didn’t want too, enjoy the other too, its not fair to ur husband but if the kid doesn’t want to come, don’t make him, he’s a teen they just don’t want to after a certain age
Just a thought, but I’m sure the kid probably doesn’t like the fact that he dad moved on so fast, they have been officially divorced less than a year, which means that y’all were together prior to his marriage having an official end, the kid is old enough to understand that and old enough to feel anger on his mothers behalf (no matter if they were separated when y’all got together he was still married to the child’s mom at the time). Don’t force yourself on the child, don’t force him to have interaction with you or your kid. 13 year olds see a lot more than people think, suggest to his father that on his weekends he takes his kids out just him and them, no you and no 2 year old, let them get time with their dad alone so they can work on their bond without any stress. As the bond improves the child’s willingness to come around might as well.
The dad and the son need to go to therapy. The been together for 2years and divorced in may is reason enough 
I mean having your husband “put his foot down” when his son already doesn’t want to come over was never going to fix anything. So I’m not surprised things escalated. He clearly Does Not Want To Be There 
. Maybe instead of having him come over every other weekend just to sit in a house out of town with nothing for him to do… take him out to do something every other week. Take him out to eat or a movie or something he might find fun. Yeah it’s not a full weekend but it’s better than not seeing him and its Way better that Forcing him into something he doesn’t want I think getting full custody of the younger two is fine if they like being out there and would rather be there. But I do not think you guys should push it on the older son if you’re already having issues. He might literally hate his father for forcing him to stay out of town 24/7… it’s not worth losing him when he turns 18 and never speaks to his dad again
Total fail on the father’s part. He should have been insisting he visit and require he act accordingly.
On another hand, you mention how much he pays in child support for a child he doesn’t bring home every other weekend. 
No wonder the son doesn’t want to visit and how long until his other children don’t want to come?
He’s 13. Let him do what he wants to do.
Pushing isn’t going to solve anything. What’ll solve this is time.
He’s going to grow up, get over it all, and think differently. But he’s at an age where he’s going to start to reject his parents. It’s ok.
Imo let him have his way for awhile. Just give him the control he feels he doesn’t have or wants so badly. If he is making false allegations and possibly getting child services involved just let it be because I promise those are not people you want in your life ever. He’s going through a phase so for the safety and mental well being of your other children let it go for a few months and then try to come back to it after you’ve given him time. Just call him after a few weeks let him know you love him and miss him and don’t bring up the situation. There was a time I wanted to live w my dad and was mad at my mom because I was just a teenager. I got my way and after a few months I realized it was not what I wanted.
All the bitter baby mommas are out in force here
If he doesn’t want to come over don’t force him. Leave him be
Honestly it doesn’t matter he should have to come life is boring. Maybe do more with them
To be honest… just let them stay where they wanna stay. It will blow over
No disrespect but maybe it’s you he doesn’t want to see.
Sounds like hid mom is in his ear.
Stop having kids with assholes
Maybe your husband is a dick, and the kid doesn’t want to spend time with him, maybe his mom is manipulating him, maybe he’s being a brat, either way it goes you’re supposed to be parenting the kid and treating him like a kid. Figuring out what’s wrong and talking to him, and asking how to make it better, not blaming and bullying the kid for struggling through his parents divorce as a preteen.
After all is said and done u really need to be honest with yourself! The fact of the matter is u could care less if “The Brat” as u call him comes over or not… Your only goal is to look like a loving, caring, supportive fiancé in your fiancé’s eyes because u can only feel his pain u could care less about the hurt and pain this young boy feels!! If no one else was gonna tell u I had to… Keep it 
with yourself ,stay in your lane, and let that man figure out how he wants to deal with his son without u making this a pitty party for yourself!
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The boy has expressed he doesn’t want to come out there so you want dad to power trip and get full custody to force him over? That’s a terrible idea and a fast way to ruin their relationship. You called the boy a Brat multiple times in this message. I wouldn’t want to be around someone that kept calling me a brat. That’s upsetting as a mother. It kind of seems as if maybe you have issues with the boy. The power trip for custody isn’t it. You’re on a fast track to really damaging some relationships here.
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Why would you need additional help? You knew he had kids when you met him (and he was still married), so I think you should have prepared yourself for that. Especially since you’ve been together 2 years and have a 2 year old together. 13 is a really difficult age and he can likely tell you think he’s a brat and doesn’t want to be around YOU.
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If he signs him over, have him removed from paying custody, show them both that if he won’t cooperate it will hurt them… people like this will use too until it hurts them… bet u the mom sends him over quick when she finds out she won’t get money for him.
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Forcing a 13 year old weekend stays will make him resent you both. Find a happy medium. Make fun plans for weekend activities and invite him on the weekends he’s scheduled for visits.
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In mass you can be found contempt of court if you don’t send your kid to the other parent during the determined time. A child can not dictate whether they see a parent or not until 18. (unless their is abuse or other really concerning reasons for the child not to follow visitation) With that being said, since this post is the visited parents side, bring mom to court and have the courts remind her of the custody agreement. Or let it lie, and leave it be. Your fiancé pays child support till the kid is 18, if he wants to see the kid that badly, take mom to court. The part about the kid thinking he will be hurt, I would have a sit down talk with child and mom, and figure out whose mouth those words are actually coming from. Sounds like the mom could be filling the boys head…
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First stop trying to force the kid hes 13 old enough to pick where he wants. Money doesn’t mean anything with seeing your children it’s to help them financially.
Your going to make his resent you both if you force it
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Keep out of it!!! And stop name calling the child. I totally understand why he wouldn’t want to come over. Let dad have alone time with his child.
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The fact that you brought up the amount of money he pays in child support is disgusting. You don’t own children. They’re humans too.
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If he’s bored take the time to find out his favorite things to do, I think he’s feeling left out.You or your fiance need to venture out with him, just him, do something fun and entertaining. Give him something to look forward and I’ll bet he can’t wait to come over next time
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Keep out of it! Support your husband and look after the other kids when they visit. Give the oldest some space, he’s coming to terms with his parents divorce while dealing with his dads new family! Let him release in his own time his dad & you are not the enemy. Your post sounds quite hostile maybe he can feel that??
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Honestly you just describing the whole situation i wouldn’t want my child to go with you either.
Also forcing him to do something he doesn’t want to do is your solution? He’s 13 some teens want to hangout with their friends and not be stuck in the country! Again you might like it the younger kids might like it hell other kids do too but he doesn’t and that’s okay. And his parents just got divorced in may and y’all are engaged maybe he’s having some resentment issues with dad and you?
And please remember just cause YOU haven’t seen their dad do it to them don’t assume he hasn’t.
If he doesn’t want to go stop forcing him, some of y’all are more worried about have power then being worried about the actual child. He’ll go when he wants stop trying to force something
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You aren’t married yet so keep your thoughts to yourself. Let Dad handle it how he sees fit. And you say you would need help with 4 children, boo hoo, you’re not stepmother material. I don’t see any love truly being expressed for him or his children.
He is 13. His life. His karma. His choices. I know its hard to accept. But at the end of the day, they are human beings with wants and needs. As parents, we can only love them. The rest is up to them. Unconditional love.
Maybe he doesn’t want to visit because he knows how you really feel about him. Picking up those vibes from someone else that’s supposed to love you at any age is real. You feeling that way instead of fixing it between you him and the dad, You want to go straight to court and force him to be there. Sounds like you just want to punish him because he’s “a brat”.
And trying to twist, “kids can be smartasses” by sending you a text that says you might hurt him. Makes me wonder what you’re doing to that boy that he would write that, that he’s been visiting less and less, knowing his dad don’t want to help because he’s with you and he would even go as far as wanting his rights signed over,
None of my three boys ever want to go to their dad’s house anymore. They’ve been home with me for about 3 months now. My boyfriend and I were talking about it because I really don’t want to hold them or understand why all of a sudden it’s so dreadful to go back- but at that age, my boyfriend says he hated his stepmom (still does) and his moms house always felt more like home. I felt the same way growing up towards my stepdad- who is my favorite person in the world now. All you can do is respect his decision, he’ll come around once he gets passed puberty and all the hormones. Just let him know you respect his decision and that he can come over anytime he wants. Teens are brats- that’s just their nature. I’m going through it too with my son and his attitude at random times. It sucks to pay so much in child support but this age with all the mood swings- it’s just best to roll with the punches and let him decide when he wants to come over.
Have you ever thought that maybe the older son needs time to adjust to his parents being newly divorced and your engage to him already? Maybe yall need to give him time to adjust his world has been changed from what he once knew. Also you don’t know what relationship the kids had with dad before you. You’re going off of what he tells you and a few weekend visits to base his relationship with his children I’m sure it’s way deeper than that.
First off stop calling him names and start trying to understand why he may feel this way like the fact the divorce was just finalized, he doesn’t have his friends on those weekends, he is going through puberty and that can be a challenge all on its own, maybe he resents you since he can do math and realize daddy was cheating on mommy with you at that age boys really start being protective of there mom I would not force visitation and I sure the heck would not go for full custody of that child listen to him he is telling dad his needs and that should be respected so that they can have a good relationship maybe dad can visit him for a few hours here and there and you can sit at home in the country with the other kids
Considering his age, he needs some one on one time with his dad in my opinion. It might not be a bad idea to consider a therapist/counselor where both dad and son go together & work out any insecurities that the son might have. Also, who knows what he is hearing from the other parent, that might have something to do with it too. Often times, there is a parent disparaging the other. The younger ones don’t understand what is going on, but older children get it and if he is hearing negative things from the mother, that may have something to do with the fact that he doesn’t want to visit and make the excuse.
I think him his dad and his mom need to have a sit down. Explain what lying about stuff like that can actually do, and make a point for some father son time while he’s there.
He’s growing up and strong arming him into being there will have awful effects on him and their relationship. As the parent the father is the one who has to sacrifice. If it’s that important for him to see his kid then maybe he should go visit his son then or pick him up for a couple hours and then take him back home. But don’t force him to be somewhere he doesn’t want to.
Let him be. If he’d rather be with his mom, then that’s his choice. Clearly there are other underlying issues besides being bored. I’m going through the same thing with my son, except hes 9. Sometimes he just doesn’t want want to go and I don’t make him. He’s almost at that age where he can legally choose where he wants to live. Let him choose, he’ll be happier. You as his step mother need to step aside and let mom and dad figure their son out
Even if the son lived with dad, how much time would they actually spend together especially for a while weekend? Teenagers are moving into being their own person. As parents we let them for the most part because they need to. In our home we will let our teenage son know that we are having a family meal and he will be there, or going to visit family and he is going, or a few other things but for the most part those times are getting fewer and further between. Pick your times and pick your battles. Embrace where the child is in life and once in awhile keep him grounded in family things. It’s just that time of life. Take the short times together and make them count!
Maybe try doing things that he likes to do… or are you too busy!? He can sense that you don’t like him! Don’t force him to see you; he’s hurting! 
Sounds like he doesn’t have his own safe space with you guys did you ever take into consideration what he likes and make a setup for him?
Let the oldest go… these teens now days will ruin a whole family life, get cps involved, traumatize their siblings… all because you tell em NO. You guys have other children to care and look out for. Always let him know the door is open for him to be apart of the family and he is more than welcome to stay with mom.
Respect the child and his feelings? Are his feeling wrong because you disagree? I wouldn’t want to come over either
The courts usually don’t give full custody to another parent unless there is significant changes. The other parent has to be doing bad stuff, endangering the children, using drugs, hurting the children. Or if it can be proven that it is in the best interest of the child to live with the other parent. Which he is 13 he probably just wants to be able to hang out with his friends. It probably would be worst to make him come live with you guys. I think you guys should respect what he wants, and just make sure dad goes and does stuff with him once a week. Just the two of them.
Talk to mom. He’s trying to have some control over the situation. All parents involved should be on the same page. He’s old enough to decide where he wants to stay, so I just wouldn’t force that. Maybe mom can be more positive on her end about visiting dad.
Your stepson should have a say. He shouldn’t be bored at all. Reality is a teenager.
Leave him were hes out.every body must be filling hes head with alot of crap. One day he will wake up
Ugh. Sounds like someone is coaching him. Get him in counseling as soon as possible!
Kid doesn’t want to come over… Oh let’s force him to live here full time🤦🏽♀️
Let the man deal with that issue. The “we” is still not official and by saying you will need more help you insinuate that they will be a burden to you. You are doing this support thing as part of your PR road to the aisle. Let him handle it and you stay clear and lend the occasional ear and appropriate comment. Dont be too aggressive in the “fight”.
Find something he likes.
You’d be surprised how much a basketball hoop, video game system, four wheeler, personal TV, Etc, can change things.
It’s not bribing, it’s reacting to interests ,
Forcing him to be there isn’t going to make things any better…?
He’s a teenager and his hormones are all outta wack.
If the divorce was just finalized he is probably feeling a bit upset and hurt… its real to him that his biological parents aren’t getting back together. Also we’ve all been teenagers before… at that age the only thing that matters is hanging out with friends.
Lots of things come into play…
The energy or rules/chores at either house may differ.
Different clothes, food, routine and activities at each household.
4 is a lot of kids under one roof… perhaps he likes the alone time or peace/quiet of his moms place.
The dad should have a 1 on 1 and ask his son what would make him more comfortable visiting there…
Maybe a friend can sleep over. Dad/son can make time to do a special activity just the 2 of them… Etc.
“Put your food down”. Such a terrible advice. Boy isn’t happy coming over let him stay with mom. If you guys start being mean about it will push him away!
Maybe the dad needs to be single and focus on his kids. You should focus on your 2 year old. I’d be bothered if I was a kid in that situation.
A lot of mean spirited and down right hateful comments here. This woman is reaching out for support and many are just being rude! She obviously cares for her fiancés and all the children in what is a blended family.
First in some states the courts don’t consider the opinion of the minor and if the child is not coming to visitation the custodial parent can be held in contempt of court and the child being bored going to the other parent is not an acceptable answer!!
I have a friend who’s children have gone through this for years here in Oregon. The had to go to their dad or he would immediately have his lawyer threaten the mom. Dad was only interested in control of making the kids come during his time and never participated in the kids school activities or extracurriculars outside of his time. In fact the kids couldn’t join sports with weekend games because he wouldn’t take the on “his time”. The only reason their not forced to be with him now is because dad got in serious trouble with the law and the kids don’t have to see him anymore due to the offense he committed!
The kid in this scenario may be hearing negative comments from the custodial parent, have some issues with the divorce and may just be going through normal teenage hormones and want to be with friends every weekend rather than either parent. His younger siblings want to go to their dads. So yes he’s being a brat to some extent! But that’s kind of to be expected. The answer isn’t to give into him but to get to the root of the problem. And that’s not the place of internet commentators to determined!! Counseling and all partly being participants in it might be helpful.
The kid is old enough to choose which he wants to live with.
I see so many red flags here.
“He pays so much support a month for the kids” and now he’s going for full custody. Seems like this is a driving factor in the decision.
This kid is going through a lot. His parents JUST got divorced. Less than 6 months ago, his dad is already engaged, you’re trying to force the new family down his throat, and you talk down on him like he OWES you guys time just because his Dad pays support. You’re a step-monster and his Dad is an entitled parent. Leave that kid alone.
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He is not a brat! Divorce is hard on kids, stop being selfish, “ your fiancé this your fiancé that” you are the problem …. Do you every try to spend time w him one on one? Assure him you and your fiancé will do whatever is best help and make him feel loved, welcome and accepted ?
You calling him a brat might be why he doesn’t want to come over. Even if you don’t say it to his face, kids are smart and pick up on more than we know. Where’s the empathy for him and how difficult it is for divorce and change at that age?? What have you done to try to make the situation better, make him feel more welcome? Honestly, the way you describe it makes it sound like you don’t want to pay child support and that’s why you want full time and not because you want more time with the child.
He’s going through normal teenage rebellion, I’m sure you’re husband is hurt but calling the kid a brat and refusing to respect his wishes won’t help. You sound unpleasant tbh. You’ve never had a teen and I feel sorry for your daughter, hopefully you’ll grow up by then and quit calling kids brats just because they don’t do exactly what you think they should
It sounds like you are bitter he has to pay her. Why can’t he just come over more? Maybe he really doesn’t like it there, I wouldn’t force my son to visit his father if they paid me. That’s his choice. MAYBE someone didn’t bond with said child and now the child sees no reason to want to spend time with dad now that he’s older. Man the list goes on. Get over it lady. Sounds like you weren’t prepared to handle his extra family if they weren’t going to be easy like the little ones.