If you truly love him you wouldn’t ask this question. Unconditional love means you take the bad with the good you don’t put conditions on it. Yes it might hurt but you have to let it go. He gave up everything to be with you and he raises your children you had with another man you can suck it up and help him raise the one he has with his ex.
Beech you have kids from a previous relationship and he got someone pregnant before y’all were together.Stfu and grow tf up.You should really look in mirror and ask yourself what tf you need to do instead of asking obvious questions on Facebook 
Hun don’t always rush into it is his but if he didn’t cheat and loves you why leave him it was before you would I be happy no but things happen let the baby be born and get a dna test and go from there
" He basically left her to be with me" is what you said, yet you’re upset that she’s pregnant? I think if anyone should be upset, it should be the woman who had a home, business, and now a baby, with a cheater.
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Girl, if he loves you, he loves you! And you guys could all co-parent together, because if you guys are going to be together you sre gonna big parent of that child’s life as well so you guys gotta do this all together! Maybe ask to video chat during appointments so you could be there to cuz thay child is important to you. It may not be your child but you could be a future a stepmother and those are just important as the parents. If she wasn’t able to get pregnant but now she is, it happens, it’s life but you guys are together, it’s your relationship, and if you known your relationship and know that what you guys have then everything will be okay and you guys will figure this out together. Cuz that’s what a relationship is. (:
Yeah…you lost me at “he basically left her to be with me” 
I don’t understand why that seems to be something you NEED to share. Everything you say after that just makes you sound like an idiot. In my humblest opinion.
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Lady, you need to calm down and think about this…
They had a life together.
He cheated on her with you. (Home wrecker?!)
You have kids from before him.
She got pregnant while with him (or she cheated while they were together)
He SUPPORTS you AND your kids.
You NEED to support him in this. Who cares if your not his “first” . He definitely wasn’t yours.
You need to get off your high horse and be there for him and and support him and set up. This isn’t about you anymore. Stop being toxic and deal with it. This is life.
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I recommend waiting than 5 months to decide you want to spend your life with someone in the first place. That’s not enough time to get to know each other. If he can so easily hop from being in one major relationship to another, that’s not very stable. If he left her to be with you, he could easily leave you to be with the next girl. Slow down a bit. I’m not saying you necessarily won’t work out, but it’s too early to tell. Just slow down so you can actually get to know each other in more than a sexual way (if you decide to stay for now).
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grow the fuck up! my God!
I’m going to assume you are a bit on the young side…
You think you have an amazing connection with a man who was STILL intimate with his partner up until the moment he left her for you. That doesn’t sound like the “best”circumstances to be starting a relationship IMO. And in just five months you claim he has stepped up and helps “raise” your children from a prior relationship. You are still in that “honeymoon” phase.
And how can you be upset he got his last woman pregnant with his first kid when you have two before him? That seems truly unfair.
What kind of lucrative business did he walk away from? How long could he have been with someone who he didn’t TRULY love to start a business with??? That doesn’t make sense!
I feel like he was about to get caught cheating and left before things got bad, she found out she was preggo, hid it until she got into her second trimester and let him know once the risk of miscarriage lessened.
It’s rare that relationships last with someone who cheated to be with a new lover. It’s a pattern. Be careful and whatever you do…. Don’t get pregnant!! Especially if you are in a “tiny apartment”. I couldn’t trust some man after less than five months around my kids… ever. I dated a man for 18 months before I let him even see my kids’ faces in real life.
This is a mess and won’t end well. If you choose to be supportive … I’d keep my eye on him, he cheated to be with you, created a life with a woman he claims he didn’t care for, and jumped from her bed and home to yours. I’ll say it one more time… take EVERY precaution… don’t get pregnant with his baby!!! It will create so much drama and the way your dream of having his kid after such little time is troublesome
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So, basically you were talking, at least, to a man who was in a relationship? He cheated on & left the now, mother of his child, to be w/ you? You have 2 children from previous but, don’t want him to? Karma will be back around, just wait!
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“He basically left her to be with me”. You’re very smug about that, yet do you know how much pain y’all caused that woman? You will reap what you sow in this life and this is your karma. You lose em how you get em 
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Don’t make this about you, You should be happy that he is man enough to step up. Be involved and support him if you really Love Him. The more the merrier when a baby is involved. Have you ever heard of the saying “It takes the village to raise the children?”
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Personal opinion, obviously… but if you love him like you say you do, why are you even asking if you should stay? If he gave up everything you said he did and has done everything you say he’s done for you and your kids and you’re first response is, do I want to go thru this with him… You should probably just let him go, not because of him or his situation but because of your response to it.
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So sounds to me like he gets into relationships to better his situation. He was living with her having relations with her but wasnt in love with her. Now all the sudden hes living with you, you guys are Ssooo in love. He has nothing to his name it sounds like and just needed a place to stay. Anyone who can cheat and just up and leave is toxic!!! The other thing is you are mad hes having a child with someone else from past relationship and yet you have 2 by someone else. You weren’t saving yourselves for marriage obviously so wtf does it matter if he has a child with another woman. It was before you so not even your business.
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So you could only have been together 5 months at best….
Give these things time… your relationship is still new…I wouldn’t rush in to getting pregnant until after his baby Is born and you know he is with you for the long haul…
He tells you he didn’t love her, but he clearly did enough to own a house and business with her…
when a man leaves a woman to be with you, be very careful… in a few years you could be in her shoes…
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Yall sound immature asf 
you make it sound like you’ve been together for so long but she’s only 5 months prego? And he left her for you? What makes you think he won’t leave you for someone else? Like yall don’t even know what love is lol. Girl,end it. Nothing good comes from these situations
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Oh, so youre a homewrecker who is upset that the woman before you is pregnant. She is only 5 months pregnant, which means your relationship is VERY new… you shouldnt even be thinking about having children with him. AND you moved a man into your house that soon with 2 of your own children, YIKES!
You need to pump the breaks, cause ill be the jerk to say it, you sound crazy 
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If his ex is 5 months pregnant, he doesn’t love you…
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I’m reading this I don’t understand why you want to leave just cuz someoelse is having his baby first what if it were the other way. Suppose he left you cause you had someone else’s a y first
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This is what happens when you have a relationship with someone who was still in a relationship . I’m just wondering why you thought it was a good idea to move in a man with your two children who you obviously haven’t known very long …
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So she’s 5 months pregnant ?.
And he’s with you playing happy families.
OMFG.
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Be happy that he’s having a kid if he can be there for your kids you can be there for his that’s not fair to him if you choose to leave him
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That’s his decision to be there for his child. Don’t be blinded by puppy love when making decisions.
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She young so in love with him and sex wanted to.trap him with his frist kid hoping he well never leve here like he did with the last woman ounce cheater always cheater … I’ll give y’all couple months he go back to the other woman then have you on the side or hy
Is this a trick question
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I know you say you are both committed to each other but you haven’t really been together long enough to make a deision he will probably help his child but I don’t think you are really that into doing the same
One thing in his favor is he didt know she was pregnant So he left her for other reasons.
So I think I would give him a chance. He deserves it. Good luck
You have children with someone else too. And I question your maturity level to have even the two you have. You sound more like a kid with a Disney fantasy than an adult. Be glad he is adult enough to want to take care of his kid.
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P.s… the Op needs to screen shot this whole thing and go talk to a therapist/counselor/ psychologist/psychiatrist …… there are some deep rooted issues here.
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I mean… he supports you and loves your kids (with someone else… )
Kinda hypocritical to not do the same…
I have a feeling you’re young…
I will tell you something I have learned from experience… if a man will turn away from his own kids to raise someone else’s… he’s not a man, just a child… and if a man is willing to raise someone else’s kids and they expect him to not take care of his kid… well… you can finish that…
My guy loves my 3 kids as his own… he’s never wanted kids of his own. With that said, if he ever found out he’s fathered a child/children… I’m grown enough to return the love… I have enough love to give… not like I’ll run out or something 
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You sound like you are obsessed, not in true love. I suggest you get some type of therapy.
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Yeah getting a whole not healthy toxic vibe…
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I would get a DNA test done before he made any huge life changes since it sounds like you want to be with him. You act like you’ve been together for years when it couldnt have been much over 5months if he left her for you.
It would be insanely hypocritical of you to back out since he has loved YOUR children from a previous relationship. If you think you can handle it and you are SO SO SO SO in love then stay. If not leave. …
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first of all do you know for a fact she got pregnant before you met him? or after? and two, is it really his baby? if so why did she wait so long to tell him? he really needs to get a DNA test done to make sure its his. also you haven’t been with him that long, are you sure he is the right one for you? and you already want a baby with him? you really need to slow it down especially now with this other chick still in the picture. even if this situation wasn’t happening you are trying to move too fast
I can’t believe OP is a fully grown adult that’s had kids herself cause she sounds about 13. For his sake, break up. He’s got one baby on the way, he doesn’t need to be dating another.
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If you care for him then you’ll stay. Some things in life are hard to deal with but with time it gets easier. Just remember not to make things harder on him because I’m sure it isn’t a cake walk for him either. Be a team, talk about things and remember and try to understand where each is coming from.
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You said you were together for a while, but he got her pregnant before you were together. She’s only five months along. (side note, they should get a paternity test)
I personally don’t believe five months is “a while” and that you may not know each other as well as you may think you do.
I also think that it’s extremely hypocritical to not be understanding of him having a baby from outside your relationship where you have two kids from outside of it.
I think maybe you both need to take a breather. If he is having a baby with someone he was with for a while, and they built a life together, there’s truly a chance they could end up reconciling; purposeful or not.
Maybe try to enjoy your time together and plan less for the future and not think about having more kids right now. Three is a lot. Especially if you live in a “tiny apartment”.
Best of luck!
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So the problem is not that he’s having a kid… it’s because he’s not having his first kid with YOU? (After you have kids of your own with somebody else?) mmmmh 
I feel like you feel this way bc you maybe wanted him to raise your kids & have kids with him & not have anyone else in the picture…. Which is understandable BUT FACT ISSSS he has a child on the way & it was before you…If you’re thinking about it too much LEAVE HIM… I feel like you’re gonna end up having unhealthy feelings….
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If she is only 5 months along then you have not been with him very long. I’m not sure it’s healthy to already be thinking about having his baby when you already have 2 with another man. You can’t know him as well as you think you do in that short amount of time. I think it is a good sign that he wants to be there for this woman and her baby. If he didn’t I would worry about is character for sure! If you love him so much you definitely need to support his choice. Slow down a bit and get to know this guy before making any life altering decisions. Remember that everything you do affects your kids.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. The man I am seeing got someone pregnant before we got together: Should I stay with him?
You’ve only been together 5 months? Or was he cheating on her before he finally left her? That doesn’t say much for his character
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You said u been together a while though yet shes only 5 mnths? X
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Get over it, it’s not a big deal, he might say that to someone else too after a couple months with you.
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I’d stay with him🤷🏾♀️ To me he’s proven worthy already.
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If your truly in love and he’s helping to raise your babies, why not help him raise his? You can love his as yours as well and when the time is right you will have a baby together 
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I think if you are that in love, have that deep of a connection then why would you leave? Bc he’s having another baby? If he cheated and got her pregnant then maybe but it was before you then be supportive. He doesn’t want to be with her, he just wants to be a good dad. Be glad he wants to do that. As for not having his first child, it would be different if it would be both of your first children but since it isn’t, that shouldn’t be a deal breaker either. Help him raise this baby and if y’all really have a deep connection everything will work itself out.
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I mean if you’re that in love, and you have a healthy, happy, strong relationship why is it a question.
Also you already have kids, and he accepted you and yours as his own, even though he couldn’t be the first to have kids with you. And he is great with them according to your post. That is rare and hard to find.
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How long have you guys been together…
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Suck it up. It happened before you. Can’t change the past!!
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If your that in love with each other stay you all will figure out together good luck
You have kids with someone else and now he does too. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a child together at some point if and when y’all are ready.
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So he was with this woman who is having his baby for a long period of time to have a home, business, and everything with her. I personally think you should really start noticing the red flags here.
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Uh…this all sounds really unhealthy. More obsession than love.
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I’m confused about the time line here? Unless it was immaculate conception, you haven’t been together that long or he was playing with you both. My honest opinion… Walk away… I fell in live with a man that had kids from a previous relationship. Its been nothing but a nightmare. I was getting to ready to ask him to leave and get a divorce when I found out he and I were pregnant. I stayed. He is a wonderful dad to our child, but his previous kids have completely destroyed both of our lives. But honestly also you have b to do what you think is best. None of us here can tell you the answer. We all have different experiences and we don’t all put up with or believe in the same things. I wish I’d walked away, loving him and all…
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5 months & he’s already raising your kids? thats how these kids get abused etc by trusting boyfriends around their children who they hardly know themselves! I’m not saying this is the case in THAT situation, but it is the case in many!
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That’s your call but that baby came before you meaning you’re second fiddle honey… at least you know about it.
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Bruh, you already have two kids with someone else and he’s taken them on wholeheartedly…do the same for him I mean, come on!
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Your that madly in love with someone anybody been together with him for how long
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Well considering he left her to be with you here is your Karma . If you love him like you say you do then you will love his child and support him being a father to this baby.
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I was dating several women a while ago. One of which I got pregnant and one I married. My wife was more involved and engaged, concerned about the child then Anyone else.
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All this in under 5 months huh? Lol
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She was before you so you really can’t be mad about it but if you’re going to use this child against this man let him go. He has been honest with you and still wants to be with you so it sounds like you are the one with the issue (I don’t mean that disrespectfully either) not him. If you’re gonna be threatened by him having this relationship before you I would let it go
But on a side note- if he left her to be with you… what makes you think he won’t leave you at some point to be with someone else? Just something to think about.
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Truly, madly and deeply in love in less than 5 months? AND HE IS RAISING YOUR KIDS? So you can have kids from a previous relationship and he is supportive, but when the table is turned you become jealous and insecure?
There’s a handful of things going on here with you that you need to get re-centered on and work on yourself with. This sounds selfish and immature tbh
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Oh man! Virgin River all over again
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Stay with him, you love him, you love his child just as much, if you turn your back on him, he will feel like you didn’t really love him, give him the support that a loving partner would.
If he will do it with you. He will do it to you! Enough said! I just can’t with some of these post. My advice, grow up. Please no more babies.
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Tbh I smell a snake 
A real selfish immature one at that.
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Bullshit. He will be telling you he wasn’t inlove with her, but “the girl he was with before you” was serious enough to have a home and business together, he was still having sex with her in this “loveless” relationship. He’s a dirty dog. And you need to man up and realise he’s not as perfect as you think
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I stopped reading. But if he is willing to step up and be with you and your children, and your asking for advice online about staying with him or not… the real question is, should HE stay with YOU?
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For ALL we know, she could have been the reason why he left his ex… she coulda been the mistress… 
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I think hes a keeper.If he loved his ex he would be with her.He is willing to be there for his unborn child.Hes not a deadbeat Dad and that mean a lot.Many men as soon as a woman tells them they are pregnant leave and never see the child.He is sticking around for his child from another woman.He sounds like a good guy.
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The dude AINT handling HIS BUSINESSes APPROPRIATELY at ALL… WHY INVEST your children in a MAN who ISNT your HUSBAND that’s another woman IS carrying HIS FIRST child with… ALL this sounds messy and poor character boundaries on ALL parties INVOLVED …and these KIDS in the middle are seeing EXAMPLES of poor choices …like come on NOW you’ve been pregnant with your ex baby daddy or daddies …YOU KNOW the mother WANTS and SHOULD be BONDING with the father and he SHOULD FEEL some FEELING’S for her if he doesn’t?? And is ALREADY taking on daddy roles to OTHER children playing HOUSE 
…what’s about HIS OWN biological child?? You already FEEL some type of way WANTING to bear his FIRST child ? You already got baby daddy’s NOT married …
…
LOVE YOURSELF and YOUR kids ENOUGH to UNTANGLE yourselves from being apart of this situation… ALLOW this man the SPACE and PLACE he NEEDS to have to EXPERIENCE his baby’s development and fatherhood to HIS OWN child…
I met a dude years ago that told me on our first date he had a 2 yr old and ex was PREGNANT 6 months but " he wasn’t trying to be with her no more"… My response was… UMMMMMM…YOU SHOULD BE!
I don’t want to be APART of being any HINDERANCE for any child to have their biological parents together nor want to be in any drama or ENTANGLEMENTS… Its WAY TOO fresh and you guys sound way way TOO seriously EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED dating for a short period of time shacked up taking on WIFE HUSBAND OBLIGATIONS with kids INVOLVED……
I’d step back personally… You’re a mother you’re a single mother … Is THIS Fair to the UNBORN child??
You knew he was with someone else. If you are woman enough to love him, his flaws, his past, and want to be in his present and future, love his child as he loves yours. If you can’t, then get out.
Two Words: Paternity Test
Full Sentence: Don’t Sign The Birth Certificate Without That Paternity Test Saying He’s The Father.
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The fact you refer to this unborn child as ‘that baby’ tells me you have no right in this child’s life. Your insecurity and sadness will make everyone miserable.And honey earth-shattering news is a death not a life!
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Girl…so…my now husband and I were together nearly 7 years with 2kids. We broke up (lived separately and all) for a year…within 3months he had baby momma pregnant…huge shock she “couldn’t have kids” so he wasn’t careful…2 months in she breaks up with him…because the dude she is CHEATING on is getting out of PRISON and she want to raise this kid with him instead…like just boots his father totally out of the picture…well anyways we got back together 5months after they break up…and she give birth to his first SON…i was devastated…first off because the man I love had a kid with someone else…and second because she gave him a son he always wanted…i thought there is no way in hell he’ll love my son if we have one…not like his first…but girl I’m here to tell you…we did end up having a boy. The love he has for these boys in different. I don’t want to say more and less because thats not the case…but he is way more attatched to the kid that was made out of love (if that makes sense) its a different love…was it hard for me to swallow? Yes…but I love him and couldn’t see myself without him any longer…so I had to accept what was and roll with it. I know this is long a drawn out but I feel like I can relate to your feelings.
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Sounds like a ratchet Hallmark movie. 
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Okay here’s my opinion, you may not like it. 5 months in not a while. Especially not if he “gave everything up” for you. It’s kind of weird you are so sad about not having his first baby. You’ve had other children and I wonder if it’s as big of a deal to him as it is to you to birth his first kid. And you let a man move in and raise your kids after 5 months??? I hope they’re old enough to speak up for themselves. You’re going to be insecure when he’s at the birth of his own child? I think there’s many red flags here on both sides, and you need to get out before you are in too deep. If you are so hung up and devastated about not having his first baby you need some help. This baby will come before you, only you can know if you’re okay with that or not.
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I wonder if he’s the one that told you she can’t have babies and in reality it’s YOU that’s just finding out she’s pregnant. He could have been known. Something seems off.
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Lol you have 2 kids and you’re crying that you’re not gonna be his first baby momma 
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I stopped reading at left her to be with me…
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Oh heavens you are being blessed with another child! Be an adult and coparent this baby and you will win. Can’t do it? Get out.
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The amount of time yall have been together has nothing to do with how much you feel for each other despite what others think. I absolutely believe you love this man with all your heart( I met and married my husband in 90 days almost 6years strong) that being said stand by your man!
If you stay will you resent this child? If there is a chance you will then you should leave. The baby is innocent in all this. My former step mom resented me and she made my childhood hell.
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Hard to find that special love. Keep loving him and all thats in his life so it can be in yours and his together. You have him now and will forever if u show him u want to be part of his childs life. This child will also learn to love the child u both eventually have too.
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Sounds like a live bombing narc and you’re still in the honeymoon phase. Fall back.
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Honestly if I was him I’d run for the hills. You seem so overly attached. Weirdly so. You laid down and opened your legs and had TWO KIDS before you got with him. But he fucks someone and has ONE kid and it’s a big deal? Baby girl sit down somewhere. Also if you are referring to an unborn child as “that” child you are indeed a worthless piece of shit 
.
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Uh sounds like you were the side piece ma’am.
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I feel like timelines don’t add up??? He was so serious about this girl they had a house and an entire business together but he just casually let her keep all of that because he decided he liked you more? You’ve only been together 5 months?
Maybe it’s just me but no matter how unhappy I was with someone I wouldn’t just… Give away an entire business we shared together to run off with someone I just met.
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Open your eyes and see the handwriting on the wall. What goes around comes around and it will be your turn next time. A man that would get a woman pregnant then leave her to be with someone else is not worth having. If you condone this behavior, then you are no better than he is!
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2 things! First thing is did you take him from her? Because if you did then he wasn’t rightfully yours to take second thing is it would be childish to think of it the way you are thinking of it as well as insecure he literally left her with everything to be with you😂
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If you say you love him that much, you need to be there for him and support him 
and if he gave up everything for you, the one thing you have to “give up” is having his first child. The child came before you. It sounds like he needs to find someone else who can actually be there for him…just saying
That doesn’t make sense. Who would just throw shit away like that
Idk how I came across this post tbh, never have seen this page lol.
But that’s what 1am insomnia gets me.
5 months pregnant, means you’ve had to be with him for UNDER 5 months at least. Unless he got her pregnant and was also talking to you/with you, it doesn’t make sense.
Regardless, I’m truly in shock at how quick people allow men/women to come into their children’s lives without taking things slow and knowing whether or not they are even going to be a constant, long term person in their life.
But also, if he left her to be with you…along with their business and home….all of this just screams red flags and midlife crisis feeling. Or maybe he was bored and they had gotten past the honeymoon phase and so he moved on to a new honeymoon phase.
But grand scheme - don’t stay with him. The baby deserves better. If you feel this way now, you’ll always feel resentment, jealousy, insecure, etc. and that is not something a child should ever have to endure due to a situation they were brought into at birth.
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Like you said he has gave up so much for you he has accepted your children as his own it’s the least u can do for him especially saying you wanna marry him and have his baby one day
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You deserve this. The end.
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Sooo, you’re jealous.
He’s taken on your kids, and you’re butt hurt about taking on his new baby?
Apparently he was doing the nasty with her only 5 months ago, sounds like they got along just fine at that point? I mean, I don’t think many women get pregnant with someone they don’t get along with 
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I agree with some of the above when it comes too staying with him because it was before you ? But I would definitely make sure he gets a paternity test !! And most definitely support him if it is his ! I mean his is supporting yours !!
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He loves and excepts your children that aren’t his. Do the same for him. Show him you can be there for him like he is you. It’s not like he cheated on you and got her pregnant
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She’s only 5 months pregnant and she was pregnant before you yet somehow you’re madly in love, have moved him in with your kids AND wanted to have his baby within that short ass time frame? He gave up a house AND business for you? Somebody’s lying rather you or him! However, if it is the case, how dare you allow this man to play Daddy to your kids while feeling some kinda way about his! That’s extremely selfish! All kids matter in the scenario not just yours. You sound a little too desperate and codependent and you’re likely a side chick through a rough patch. Ever thought that She probably kicked his ass out (he didn’t leave willingly) and he’s using you until she let him back in? 
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