Dont stay if you can’t be a good support to him and that baby.
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Five months you’ve known him and he’s met your kids? Good lord sis
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How are you ok with the fact that he is involved with your children, but acting some type of way when he might be a father to someone else. From your post, you are projecting being needy, selfish, unrealistic and difficult. You have two kids, step up, and my god do you even hear yourself when you say things like oh I know he will be there for the birth blah blah blah. He should, he sounds like he is being a man who is stepping up. You should go try to be a mom who isn’t just about me attitude. I wish him the best of luck, and I hope he does the right thing, if the child is his. He is playing daddy for your kids, he most def should be there for his kid
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Wow,you are really delusional.Everything you know about his last relationship comes from him! You really should talk to the lady carrying his child,he may still be more involved than you know,you sound “blinded” by your own feelings.
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Your whole situation screams ‘Slow down!’ and ‘Grow up!’
First of all you’ve got two children from (a) former relationship(s). You don’t mention their ages, but I’m gonna guess they’re young. You move a man into your apartment- a man you don’t know very well nor have you known him very long (5 months)- to help support you and help you raise your children. Apparently you’ve fallen hard for him. Convenient that he left his ex as soon as he got her pregnant, don’t you think?! You want to have his child?! Why don’t you just focus on raising the children you’ve already created? And if you do want a father figure around, wait until you’ve spent some time getting to know him better before bringing him around your kids.
What’s it gonna to them when he leaves?
As a mother, you’ve got to think about your kids safety and emotional needs more than yours. What this guy did to his ex, what’s to say he won’t do it to you, too? Once he gets you preggers, he’ll move on to the next girl? You’re moving way too fast.
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I understand and have been through being so insanely in love with someone. That is called limerence. And that is a hormonal reaction. That isn’t real true and lasting love. Also for you clearly you aren’t able to unconditionally love him at this point which also points out you are in limerence. You might want to look that up because it doesn’t last for long. Then you settle into the day-to-day with another person without all those hormones telling you and making you feel in love with someone. Also part of his story just doesn’t make sense. He gave up his home his business to a woman that he didn’t even know was pregnant. No saying person walks away from both of those things because there is no reason to. They can continue running to business together or he can sell his part of the business to her or to another. When we have assets and we split with a spouse we come to a mutual agreement of division. 50/50 is usually what it is. If he gave her 100%, then there is something wrong in his head or he is lying to you. Ask yourself why he would hand over his house and his business to a woman who didn’t even have children with him. Even spouses who have children usually will not do that. They Will come to an equitable agreement. And you’ve been with him for a while and it sounds like he left her for you. Men who will leave one woman for another will do it again. These are men who fall in and out of limerence easily and somehow think that is what love is. So when they’re married and their eye is cut by another person and their hormones start raging all over the place they think they’re not with their spouse because they love them any longer because they don’t have those feelings. Nobody has those feelings after a year or two. Limerence does not last but many run from one limerence relationship to another one without ever realizing it’s hormones doing it to them and they may have left someone that they did love but they’re no longer in love due to limerence. If you think you will be miserable with him throughout the entire pregnancy then I think you have your answer. Once the baby is born his involvement becomes even more and it’s in your face that he had a child with someone else. Your sadness isn’t going to end when the baby is born so your relationship won’t work out if you cannot fully embrace him and his new child. Real love has no place and no room for jealousy. If you’re feeling jealousy then what you have is not real love. Perhaps he would have liked to been the one to have and be the father of your first child but that isn’t how it is. Is he showing jealousy because of that? Have you talked to his ex because she may have a whole different side of the story. He may have handed her everything simply because it was a messy split there may be domestic and violence involved in which there was a restraining order placed and in that case he would have to leave the business and his house. That’s about the only reason I can think of anyone would walk away from all of their equity is because they weren’t given the choice. Time to put your little sleuthing eyes and ears on and start doing a lot of investigating before you even look any further into how you will handle him having a child with another. You need to look at if he can be a healthy influence long-term for your children and you.
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Stop thinking about yourself I mean that in a good way if u no what I mean
Isn’t this a mute point? You were with someone else too so isn’t this exactly what he did?
Your immature af dude! Like wtf ! It happened before y’all we’re together, ain’t none of your damn business!
And if he’s supporting you and loving you through everything, and being there for you, and helping you, then you need to do the same damn thing for him! You’re being incredibly selfish and jealous!
Yeah his ex caught him cheating, kicked his ass out, and he moved in with you and your kids. This is how kids get abused and killed and molested, first of all. You do not know this man and he sounds like a very manipulative guy. Of course he’s into you, he has no place else to go. Some people shouldn’t be allowed to date if they have kids. Then he’ll be off with the baby mama and your kids will be left hanging, which will be a huge blow to them. Wtf
If you can’t support him and his child like he has supported you and your children, you need to take a closer look at yourself
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If you love him as much as you say, supporting him through this wouldn’t be an issue.
Anyhow, if you’re having this much doubt/issues, leave.
I mean. He’s cool with your kids. Why shouldn’t you return the favor.
Good luck. Darned if you do. Darned if you don’t.
You seem very young, and blinded by this whole situation. I think you should step back and look at this with a “fresh set of eyes” and I think you’ll see this isn’t the magical fairyland you’ve made this out in your mind to be!
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You know what this is? What goes around comes around in it’s finest form aka karma 
You obviously broke up their home and if you get over yourself enough, you get to look at the child for the rest of your life and know exactly what you’ve done.
Sucked in. I think it’s truly beautiful.
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Your just being jelous and acting like a child, he is being a grown up and standing up for his mistake , he is happy and supportive with your children .
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I’m just curious as to how long you knew this man before you allowed him to move in with you and your children. 
I mean you tried to word it like you weren’t his side chick when you clearly were. He left her to be with you, right? It’s clear that you aren’t going to leave this man alone so I’ll just say this; The way you got him is the way you will lose him. They were still a couple when you started messing with him.
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Only 5 months and you in love like that? 
If you already insecure about it. I would leave the situation. It will only get worse unless you get some kind of counseling to work through it. The thing is its going to happen regardless and shes going to have his child? Theres nothing you can do, but accept it or leave.
You stole this man…So you’re the side chick. Let him go back to that life and move on.
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Smh. All the other comments should tell ya 
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Get over yourself, if u TRULY love him as u say you do you wouldnt even be posting this
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Have you tried taking yourself to the 
?
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She never said she’s only known him 5 months! Idiots!
Y’all have been together for a while but she’s 5 months pregnant? So either y’all have not been together for a while or he cheated.
Either way you should support him and his choice to be there for this child if you love him so much.
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Is this a joke? So you were his side chick and he cheated on her to be with you. If they owned a business and home with her than she is more likely to be his wife or at least fiance. I find it hard to believe he didn’t know but chose to not tell you instead. He wants his cake and eat it too. Your just as bad as he is to entertain a man who would likely drop you the moment he thought he found better. His baby is need a stable and loving home. It sounds like your going to always have resentment towards the little girl or boy. Which is never a good idea for a bonus parent to resent their bonus child. Also you say she is only 5 months along, so you basically let a man you really don’t know move in with your 2 children. That’s so whacked! What if he wqs a pedophile or abusive? You would have not known and now it’s too late and harder to remove him because he lives with you. You need to seriously reevaluated your decisions. Your going to be jealous because he has to go to the birth and doctors appointments for HIS child? Ridiculous! It blows my mind that your reasoning for being upset is not because he’s a cheater and lied to you about a baby but instead it jealousy and anger because your not giving him his first child!
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This is the type to poke holes in condoms 
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Don’t be jealous support him through this if you love him you’ll get over the fact that he accidentally got another girl pregnant before you got together
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Swallow that pill and love that big beautiful blended family you all are lucky enough to have.
It hurts, it sucks, dreams are shattered. More your losses and start building your new dreams.
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Maybe he shouldn’t be with you? As you already said HE HAS GIVEN UP EVERYTHING FOR YOU the girl who is on fb asking for others opinions…this was before you so if he chooses to be with you if you can be decent to his child support the man damn. I know for a fact how this goes I’ve been in it (this guy had been with a girl 2 wks before we got to be a thing and as soon as he told me guess what I held his hand and 2yrs later still exactly what we have always been and then some, they used a condom it broke 1wk later she said she was pg 2wks later said she was pregnant with not just one but 2 kids lol omg the mess…she does her thing we do ours they were never dating they literally had a one time deal unfortunately it lasted them forever but im still here and never question him…) your idk man something else lmao
My x left me with 3 kids to be with his “love”. Then cheated on her with his next love…karma
I can’t tell you what to do but I can tell you my brother got a girl pregnant that he had a causal fling with. He found out that she was pregnant shortly after starting to date my now sister in law. My sister in law is a amazing and loves that kid just as her own. At the end of the day it just depends on if you really love that man and can accept his kid because if you can’t then move along.
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No. Don’t stay. Leave him. Not because she’s pregnant but because you are a selfish disgusting person and for him to have that kind of influence on his child would not be responsible parenting.
Your petty whines about not being his first baby mamma is disgusting especially since you already have 2 crotch goblins by someone else. And if they just found out and she’s 5 months along, you have been together for under that amount of time. How will you treat his child when it is born? I guarantee that you will place yourself and your children well ahead of his because you are already thinking this child is a threat. You won’t give that child the respect of being treated like an equal.
And for you to decide after only 4 months you want to spend the rest of your life with him except that he has a child with someone else, makes you a huge red flag.
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Oh boy. You really should read and think about your words. You say he left her for you. Which indicates y’all must’ve had something going on while they were together. Maybe or maybe not sexual yet. Because you can’t leave someone for someone if you haven’t don’t know them.
I think he told you what you want to hear. You said it yourself they owned a home together and a business. People who aren’t in love don’t do that. Then he tells you he gave up their home and business to move into your tiny apt. do you really believe that? Come on now no one just throws all that away. That man was married and his wife found out and kicked him out and probably waited to tell him about the baby because she was very upset and hurt and decided now it’s best he know his child. Oh these doctor appts, do you go? Or do they go alone…wake up that’s that man’s soon to be ex wife.
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I fell in love with mine at first glance it happens you know
Side chick vibes fr!
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Okay so you was with a man for five months & he’s extremely involved in your children’s lives? How do some of y’all introduce these men into your kids’ lives so soon? My advice would be to do what you feel like you gotta do but next time wait for a good 6-9 months (I would wait a year) to introduce your children to men. It’s extremely confusing for kids when the relationship doesn’t work out.
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And not to mention they owned a home and business together…. You’re obviously a home wrecker girl. Y’all have been together for 5 months and you wanna have a kid with him already girl you need to be alone for a while and do some soul searching. You’re not a child your a grown woman with two kids. What the hell is wrong with some of you people 
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Know this! God will never send you someone else’s husband or anyone that’s in a committed relationship. The question you should be asking is why you want someone else’s man and how could you trust that he wouldn’t do to you what he did to her.
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He gave up everything and let her keep it so he doesn’t have anything and doesn’t want to pay her. Btw ur rebound girl. He will use u until the next, and just remember if everything is in ur name, he’s playing u too!
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5 months and you’re “deeply in love” and let him raise your kids? That’s suspicious
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You had two kids before him, so just STOP!! If this is your mentality, you need to just leave for the sake of the unborn baby, for real! This is ridiculous! 
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Oh for God sake he was with her first and shes pregnant get over it was b4 u
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Ok, so… your not ok with him having a baby with someone else… but he’s ok with the fact that you had two babies with someone else prior to him? He sounds too good for that mess.
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What’s the difference. You have kids that aren’t his and he stepped up so why can’t you do the same. How would you act if he already a kid with someone else before you guys met? It’s not like he cheated on you geez
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If you can’t be with someone at there worst dont expect to be with someone at there best. He has got with you knowing you have 2 children to a previous relationship. Nothing previous to you twos relationship should stop you both.
He sounds too good for.your drama if am honest.
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Then the issue is you, not him. You said your hang up is not being the one to have his baby. If you can’t deal with this, your issue will ruin his relationship with you. If you can’t handle him seeing his baby from another woman, love him enough to let go. If you can, then you are a winner! This IS HARD!! But you are owning the issue. Be fair to him, you, AND a child’s life. Whatever that looks like.
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Girl you stole a whole other woman’s man and you want to be mad at him for having a kid before you came into the picture, whist having kids before he came into the picture🤦🏼♀️
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I’m starting to wonder if these anonymous posts are a joke. Is this real life? Do women really think this way? Get over yourself, ma’am.
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If you truly love this man then you will stand by him and support his child as a part of y’all’s life together.
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You basically just admitted to being the side chick and he told you everything you want to hear and still is. Read what you wrote. He built a home and a business with someone he doesn’t love and just gave it all up with no fight to move into your little ass apt . You didn’t mention a job or another business. So either he’s unemployed or working for someone else. No one just hands a business over to go sit in someone’s couch or to work for someone else. Then if she’s five months pregnant this clearly shows he went right from their bed to yours. To me it sounds like these two might be married and she found out he was cheating and kicked him out and mentioned going for divorce and told him she is going to take the house and the job. Then it’s possible when she found out about the cheating she also found out she was pregnant and was hurt and upset and didn’t want to tell him and finally decided it wouldn’t be right to keep the child from him. Unless he already knew she was pregnant and didn’t tell you but is now telling you because he knows you are going to find out sooner or later. Do you go to these doctors appts too or is this something they do alone? If they go alone what is the reason for that if they aren’t together and he doesn’t love her. He can bring you or even FaceTime to know what’s going on.
I can’t even finish reading all that. My two cents- if he left her “for you” then he will entertain other women while y’all are together when he decides he’s not in love with you anymore. People fall out of love, there’s no magic love button. Eventually you will hit a spot where you have to work at it to keep or reignite the spark. But you don’t go looking for something new while you’re in a relationship just because you’re not in love. He did it to her, he will do it to you. Also, it’s extremely childish this entire post. Leave him because you didn’t have his baby first? Wtf?? Y’all don’t need to bring kids into the world together, you need to grow up first.
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Just an observation but when you say he gave up his life before, business etc… Are you sure he didn’t LOSE it because he was messing with you on the side? Idk it seems like it’s going to be a long hard road with him. Does he work? Support you? Is he an upstanding guy? That’s really ON YOU my dear. But now you either have to swallow your feelings or just move on with YOUR life.
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She’s 5 months pregnant, so your relationship is very new it you were the side chick and got promoted. Sounds like a horrible way to start a relationship. Did he even own any of that property or was it always hers and he’s just saying what ever you want to hear? It sounds like a whole lot of lies being told to you and in your post.
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How can you open your home to a man you barely know (5months) with your 2 babies living with you. Some women
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Girl if you love that man and he loves you and your kids then you make it work! He loves your kids, so learn to love that baby and be a big happy blended family. Don’t be jealous, welcome that baby with open arms. He already said he doesn’t love her, and he loves you. So although it may hurt emotionally to see someone else have his baby first, he left her for you. So this is just something that you need to sort through emotionally, and help to make this work.
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Get over it. 5 months?? Yeah you are just the rebound girl right now. He has a child on the way to care of. It’s his responsibility to do his part. Besides I think the other stuff he is telling you is lies and he’s a player. Get over your jealousy of this child and it’s mother. If you aren’t happy about it and it’s gonna bother you for the next 18 years if it even gets to that point… Then walk out the door.
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You cant be mad about something thay happened before you were in the picture. Shit happens. At least he wants to be there for the child? You should be happy he does! It shows that he is a good father regardless of a situation. He needs your support. Not like he cheated. Heres your sign that he will be there for his children. And if and when you both have a child obviously you know he will be there.
How you get them is how you lose them. He left her for you so be prepared for him to leave you for the next one or even to go back to her once that baby is closer or here.
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More than likely you are the reason their relationship failed. Well it takes two. But my point is, a new fling is much more exciting than what you have at home. After only 5 months of course it feels perfect. Why would you be upset about the pregnancy? That poor woman lost her man to you. Now she has a baby on the way and alone. Sad honestly. Hopefully this baby doesn’t suffer from all the nonsense from this.
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So you expect him to support and love you and YOUR kids from OTHER men but you can’t love and support HIS kids with other woman? Sounds like double standards to me. Sounds like you need to mature a little bit.
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What the hell did I actually just read?
First of all you STOLE another woman’s man.
Second of all 5 months? You don’t even know someone well enough after that. I’ve been with my man 10 years and still learn about him.
Third you want him to accept your kids, but his kid has to be out of the picture?
Fourth honey, dudes a player. You’re just the rebound girl. He got tired of his relationship and instead of working on it and fixing it he hopped with you? He’s going to do the same damn thing to you. If your bothered by this kid now it’s only gonna get worse.
Leave his ass before you end up like his ex. 
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How old are yall people…DNA test
It is what it is
ALLLLL these kids no one married
Very unstable and wow just wow
Enjoy the moment and stay out their way unless asked, after ALLLLL he is helping you with yours
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Such immature petty drama.
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RUN! Don’t walk away … This is nothing but trouble.
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You’ve been together less than five months and you want to have his baby?
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You are very naive, or brave to take all his one side information at face value !
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Not a good start here
If the baby is his… You should be kind to his ex be supportive of them co-parenting and love the baby as much as he loves your kids. She is going to be a single mother and mothers should always be kind and supportive towards other mothers.
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So it’s been five months? Story time. My ex left me after I was pregnant. He dated a lovely woman for a year and a half while still torturing me daily. He lost this lovely woman because she finally saw what I was trying to get her to see. Now she and I are friends and she helps with my almost two year old. He hasn’t been around in 9 months because all he cares about is getting laid and having a place to live. And someone to wait on him hand and foot. Someone he can control. It’s good he wants to be part of the kid’s life, but this is going to end badly. That poor woman has to have a baby alone now. I hope he helps her out and pays child support. It’s amazing how she didn’t think she could have kids, because I had both tubes removed ten years ago. Yet I have an almost two year old 
what’s meant to be will always find a way. Make sure he shows her respect, as his new woman that’s your job. It’s scary doing it all alone.
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Girl no.
You didn’t even need to explain.
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He wasn’t your first baby daddy and does that make u love him less…he gave up so much to be with you then he will give u up for someone else. That’s how that goes.
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Make it work he didn’t cheat but I’m curious why did she wait 5 months to tell him, is she or him questioning paternity
So it’s ok that you had children with another guy but the fact that he’s having a child with someone he was with before you, not cheating and got her preggo while with you or anything, is not? That’s stupid. You are jealous and selfish for even considering leaving him.
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You have 2 kids with someone else so how is this any different girl use you’re head
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completely exhausting that poor guy definitely deserves someone more mature.
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Well you had a kid before you met him so
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Five months isn’t long enough to know if you want to be with someone for the rest of your life and give him children. I speak from experience. It sounds like love bombing. Everything is rainbows up until around 1yr into it and then you start to see all the persons sides. Also if he is claiming to have left everything behind for you and left everything to his ex it sounds like he’s trying really hard to make himself seem like this angel and awesome person. Another thing, the ex is pregnant probably because he was making her believe that she was everything to him and that he was happy and painting it out to be like they would be together forever and therefore taking the risk of pregnancy.
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After all he has sacrificed for you and loving your kids as his own you should at least give it a shot.
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How big is your heart ? Can you really put your own hurt aside for a child that isn’t yours? It’s a big ? that only you can answer.
I thought he didn’t love her why would they have a business and home together.something does not sound right.I would think real hard about this.
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I’ve been a similar situation hun. If you have enough love open up your heart to that child if he is in her life
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Why is it any different that you have two kids from a previous relationship but not ok for him?
Seems as though you have some growing up to do. This post has teen vibes.
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Ima real with you. You should stay if you care, support and love as much as you claim you do. Thinking about leaving because of it is a little selfish but i understand why, yalls world got turned upside down. Stay and be happy. Remember hun ALL kids (including the unborn child) deserves to happy and healthy parents.
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What’s really going to hurt is when he leaves you for the next person.
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Why would you consider leaving someone just because you are jealous? Because let’s be honest, this is about jealousy.
Shit happened in his past and he is stepping up for that baby. And he is stepping up for your kids. Don’t know why you suddenly want to leave him since it’s in the past? What are you trying to do? Have every man’s first kid?
Support him through this or leave. Your choice. But if you leave, it just means you didn’t love him unconditionally
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I think you should try and make it work, you had kids before him and doesn’t mean you can’t have a child with him.
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That’s a damn good man right there. If you give it up all because something happened that was out of your control before y’all ever got together, then you obviously don’t love him enough to be with him for the rest of your lives. He may not have set out to be a dad with anyone else but at least he’s stepping up and doing what’s right by his child. If you can’t handle that then you need to leave now so he can find someone who can and will stand by him and love him like you say you do.
You all need to be fix. Dropping all these babies from different people. No wonder this country is so screwed up. Not to mention the kids.
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If you’re this upset about him having a kid before you two do when you have 2 of your own . . . . .why, at 5 months in, are you so desperate to have a baby with him? You need to slow down baby. You’re going too fast. You’ve got your hands in the air but your feet on the gas.
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Oh my goodness … grow up ! It’s called a PAST for a REASON. * smh * you don’t see HIS undies in a knot over the two kids you had WITH someone else BEFORE him. Your jealousy is going to lose him so you need to get over it.
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Side chick turned main chick never works out! If he gave everything up for you, then you were the side chick. Get over yourself!
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I say the one he left is the lucky one in this story. Wow really cry us a bigger river. Hopefully she stays away from both of you. Poor kids
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As long as you can deal with him paying child support and the potential nightmare of neverending custody issues- then you do you.
The person he was with before is 5 months pregnant. You don’t fully know this person yet. 5 months is generally not long enough for the kind of commitment required of a successful long term relationship. You have children of your own already before him. Get your head straight. Explore the relationship, but how you feel right now sounds more like infatuation than being ready to commit - and if he’s involved with your kids at this stage, kudos to you, but that seems very fast. Are you sure that you know them well enough to worry about the long term?? If you are, what’s the real issue here? Natural side effects of sex are children, as well you know.
He isn’t the first person who would be getting you pregnant either. You sound really petulant and the description of the situation seems really unbalanced. Why would a successful entrepreneur abandon their business? I don’t need to know the answers to any of this, but it smells very fishy.
You have kifs before him so like whats the problem? Selfish much?
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First of all “that child” really? That’s his 1st child. I think it’s extremely selfish of you. Lady you have 2 children? Why are u hurt? It happened b4 u. This is his first child! You Should be supporting him if you care as much as you say 
in all honesty if he wants to have a relationship with his child you will make it hard for him, bcos ur self absorbed.
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Get over it, you can’t change the past
I couldn’t even read this whole post. You were the SIDE CHICK. You said it yourself. He left her for you. That’s a bad deal to start with. I can’t believe this is a serious question. Please somebody tell me this is b.s.
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