Don’t rush it. Let it come when it comes. He might be saving for the perfect ring.
Going on 6 years as well. We’re not legally married but technically. It’s just a piece of paper we’re not in a rush
Let him know a ring would be nice. Long engagements are fine. What’s his hold up?
You have to make a decision about whether marriage is more important than just being with your man. Some men will never marry.
Let things happen naturally and see how it goes.
My husband and I were together 7 yrs before he finally proposed to me and now we been married 7yrs this year 
Give em time he will get there 
17 years here and to me its just a piece of paper. Love it love with or without a 
Which means more to you: The guy helping to raise your children or a license. My advice dont rock the boat to a good thing.
You guys need to talk about important legal things since you’ve commingled yourself things. You don’t have to get married but if you guys need to have important conversations and maybe even legal papers drawn up so youre both covered. Like who is making your end of life decisions? Do you have wills? Is he willing to continue raising the kids in this home? If one if you die the other could be barred from making decisions, refused entry at services, the family could force the sale of the home. Getting married or not you guys should talk about where you legally want to stand even as just long term partners.
You need to just talk to him. Let him know what you want and see what he wants. Six years is more than enough time to know what you want. What you have to decide is, if he does NOT want marriage, can you be happy without it? Because if you can’t (no shame, I wouldn’t be), it’s better to leave now before it makes you bitter.
Thoughts on marriage? Not with this one.
Are you religious and that’s why you want to get married? My bf amd I have been together 5 years and it doesn’t seem like marriage is anywhere in the near future but it’s ok cuz it doesn’t change anything we have (have a home and 2 kids) but my last name. You can call him your husband now if he’s OK with it. It’s definitely something you should sit and talk about. Maybe he’s not into marriage. Not all men want to get married. Talk about a timeline plan and find a middle ground
You love someone so much that you want to get the government involved? Don’t do it.
Been with my partner for 20 years, we have a house and kids together and never married but with everything we have and how long we’ve been together I call him my husband, we calls me wife 
Not everyone wants to get married. He might be one of those people. Personally I don’t think marriage is that important.
I live in the common-law capital of Canada. While the majority of Canadian couples are married, those in Quebec choose a common-law life much more than other Canadians.
17 years, 3 kids and a house, it’s not a ring, a title or a piece of paper that will change our commitment-level or relationship with each other. Just call him your husband if you want to and he’s cool with it 
Its a religious reason or legal reason? I didn’t want the government to be part of our marriage so we did a religious ceremony. Then lawers said for legal protections as l had stage 4 cancer that we should get legally married so we did that. Point is talk about why you want to be married and the concerns for not wanting to be married. Y’all will come up with something.
We will be together 5 years December 26th. Engaged 4.5 years engaged (sept 29th,2021 was 4 years). Still no date. We even have a kid together and I have one from previous
It’s just a piece of paper
3 years too long… marriage offers protections for you and your children when it comes to inheritances, remaining in the house, preventing outside family members from claiming things or making end of life decisions should something happen to him. It REALLY is MORE than a piece of paper.
Y’all bought a house together…he is helping you raise your children…are you willing to hurt your children over a piece of paper and a name change? You sound like you are putting the pressure on…whatever you do…don’t issue an ultimatum…it wont turn out the way you want.
Me and my husband talked about marriage for a while and finally after 6 years I got down on one knee and proposed to him. He was excited and said yes. He told me he was shy which I already knew and was scared so maybe that’s the problem!
Everybody looks at it differently. You’ve talked… Has he? Maybe he’s afraid it’ll ruin things.
Also, as much as ppl hate to talk about it, it doesn’t benefit men. In a divorce, generally they get screwed.
Try to find out what he feels & go from there.
What do you really want that only marriage can provide?
Can call him your husband without being married
I keep seeing “it’s just a piece of paper” but that piece of paper gives you the right to make decisions in case something bad happens. And couldn’t his family go after your house if it’s in both names, if something were to happen? That piece of paper is pretty significant and carries a lot of weight.
Thats a long time to be together and him Not pop the question. What does he think about marriage? Usually a man will know right away if he wants to marry you, seems like he knows youre not the one and doesnt want to commit to you in that way.
I don’t understand why anyone would want to get married… DUMB
Obviously he is not perfect for you if your ready for the next step and he clearly is not, you are not perfect for him, and he is not perfect for you, protect your kids future, get a lawyer, split your assets, learn to be independent.
Marriage is Not for me. We’re engaged but I don’t need a stupid piece of paper to justify our relationship. We’ve been together nearly 5 years. I just don’t see the point in “marriage.” Were common law married technically and that’s good enough for me
Our thoughts on marriage don’t matter. What matters is what you and him think. If someone on here thinks it’s dumb but you don’t will that change your mind about wanting to get married. This is a serious conversation you need to have with him. And you need to decide what you really want and if your willing to settle if you don’t get it.
Marriage is a piece of paper 
It’s a piece of paper…if that’s what it takes for you to think he’s committed to you, I think you need to reevaluate the relationship
If it means something special to you that you want… then it doesn’t matter what we think. Personally I’m actually going against most people here and say it was special to me and meant more than paper, and government stuff. It was something magical that we have together. Maybe I’m a romantic, and wear my heart on my sleeve… But it is just something we can’t explain in words.
The legal things should be discussed, and decided on married or not. That’s definitely important. You don’t want something bad to happen and not have a set in stone plan for your family and your assets together.
Truly just sit down and have a talk with him. If he really Loves you he will understand and listen. In the end it’s all about what your heart and his wants. Marriage is what you make it to be. Special or not, married or not, you both should try and be on the same page as each other so one of you won’t start resenting the other one.
If you are not complete without marriage, you need to be clear about it. Sounds like a nice relationship without a license. He may not want marriage. He needs to be clear about that too.
I see marriage as more for him than you. Historically it’s about a man taking possession of a woman. She takes his name, their children take his name. It gives him rights to her. For example that situation awhile back where the woman was in a coma for years. He wanted to take her off but her family didn’t. He literally had the right to kill her above her parents wishes who knew her longer & did more for her. I always thought I wanted to be married. That’s what we’re taught growing up. You get married, have kids & live happily be ever after. The truth is getting married isn’t going to make you happier. It’s handing control off to someone who can benefit from that control. I’m cynical now that I’m older. Make sure everything is written. Like with your house in the event that you break up who gets it? Keep track of who pays what so you can prove who deserves it etc.
I’ve been with my son’s father for 12 years and have no desire to get married lol
marriage means nothing to me 
If you love each other that’s all that matters 
but it doesn’t matter what everyone else thinks. If that’s what you want someday and that’s how you feel than don’t settle for anything less.
There are those that see marriage as more than a piece of paper, then there are those that see marriage as nothing but a piece of paper. And both are completely fine! In my opinion, getting married has it’s pros and it has its cons.
The man I have been with for the past 2.5 years? We’ve both been married before - despite talking of us getting married, we’re both content if it never happens. He has two children from his previous and I have two as well from mine, and we have our own apartment but will be house shopping in the Spring. Without a piece of paper, we already call each other “husband” and “wife” - because that’s how much we love and care for each other, that’s how we see (and feel about) each other, and we don’t need a piece of paper to tell us or anybody else otherwise. 
I got engaged after being together 5yrs but didn’t marry until our 20yr anniversary…all I can say don’t rush it…it will happen when the timing is right😊
Call him hubby anyway🥰
If marriage is what you want then you need to sit him down and have a real conversation. Depending on what’s said you need to decide what you will and will not accept. Honesty is what’s needed.
I’m married. I got married because the first time I got really sick after having our daughter, the hospital wouldn’t tell him anything. We had been together almost 5 years at this point. But he wasn’t my spouse so they would only release info to my parents. So we got married n
He has to be ready to
I’m in the same boat minus the house sucks
I’ve been with mine for 8.5 years now and we have 1 child. Still not married and have no idea when we will be 
we are engaged but that was because I was too pushy apparently 5 years ago. Lol
My Aunty was engaged to my uncle for 10 years and they’ve been together 35 years. They only got married about 4 years ago…
You don’t have to be married to be committed to someone. Talk to him about it and see his views on the whole thing.
I told my hubby that he couldn’t get me pregnant unless we were legally married. So he bought a ring proposed twice (1st at his house, 2nd at a castle in Japan 
) and we’ll be celebrating our 2 yr. anniversary in 2 months. Been together just over 6 years with plans of starting a family in the near future
It might be just a piece of paper, but I’ve seen people on life/death situations in the hospital I work for and guess what, the gf/bf/fiancé has no say in the medical treatment options. Doesn’t matter how long they were together or how many kids they had. It always went back to the parents or the siblings. If they were actually married, the spouse would have the first right to make those decisions
It’s a piece of paper 
.
Maybe it depends on the person.Does it change things financially? More government,and state politics go with that piece of paper… Be content with yourself and your loved ones.Divorce happen all the time because the dynamics of your relationship will change. Commitment without that paper is more important than the other. You will keep working on the relationship. Marriage tends to put a halt to that .
It may just be a piece of paper to mist but it’s the serious stuff that it effects long term. If anything medical happens to him or you, neither of you would have a say on each other’s future, from life insurance, pensions and property, especially if there are no wills
Been hubby 20 years not married. I still call him my husband
Just make sure if anything happens you are both covered and your children are taken care of. Marriage is a piece of paper that causes a whole lot of problems if something arises the marriage. Stay as is and just get the proper paper work to protect yourself.
Marriage is just a word and a piece of paper when you get married and the big bubble finally settles then you realise it’s just the same as it was before… I’ve been married for 10 years and someone gave us a beautiful quote called the marriage box have a look at it on Google… marriage is a big empty box in which you need to add things to in order to build it… however you don’t just start a new life unless you don’t live together and don’t have the house the car the kids … your old life is still there and you just continue on building it into a beautiful marriage…
You need to figure out whether he can give you what you want, if you can live without that piece of paper, or if you need to find someone else. Have a talk with him to see what his thoughts are on the subject, and then make your decision, just don’t torture yourself over it.
Hate to say this but a lot of guys (some women too) now & days don’t want to get married. I can’t tell you how many of my guy friends say they will never marry
It is different for everyone. My ex just asked me to marry him in May, but I rejected…glad I did…he went back to being abusive and a cheater after claiming it wasn’t “him” anymore. Found out he cheated on me a month before he proposed as well…(I dodged a bullet)…All I can say is take it slow. If he wants to get married he will, if he doesn’t want to then he won’t…Can’t force it.
Marriage comes first, without the commitment what would make a man want to get married. He already has everything
I see so many married women getting cheated on
Ask him why he won’t commit?
Marriage don’t make the relation, it is just a piece of paper. Don’t push him into it cos you could end up losing him. Have a proper conversation with him. Tell him exactly how you feel, ask him how he feels about it, if you have your heart set on marriage, and he don’t as horrible as it sounds then you need to ask yourself if you can give up marriage for the person you love or if its time for you to follow your dreams. I thought I always wanted to marry my husband, we had a great relationship with a daughter together, but after a couple of years of marriage our relationship didn’t work, we ended up separating and looking into divorce. Marriage isn’t something to rush into and isn’t something you should force the other half into if they are not ready.
Uhhh marriage is just a piece of paper…yall are already doing what a married couple do… if he loves you and you love him , and there’s respect and trust… why is it so important about marriage?? Just to call him your husband?? Lol
You have every right to let him know how you feel, however you have to be just as prepared for his feelings on the subject.
My thoughts? Marriage isn’t for everyone and someone can be completely devoted to their partner without it. If being married is something that is a deal breaker if it doesn’t happen, I would reevaluate the relationship. IMO it shouldn’t be a deal breaker but what works for me doesn’t work for everyone else. Just remember, just because YOU want it doesn’t mean he has to and you need to prepare for the answer. Best of luck to y’all!
My “husband” and I have been together for 10 years come January. We still claim husband and wife even if we aren’t married legally. Just a thought.
It makes no odds call him your partner that’s what he is x a piece of paper makes no difference x
If you are religious and marriage represents a covenant with God to you (it does to me) then you need to reconsider your relationship. I personally could not be with someone who wouldn’t marry me. So you have to decide what it really means to you.
Some people just don’t want to be married. If you’re going to be with someone you will be, marriage isn’t some magical invisible seal that will somehow make your love more real, no matter what many believe lol. If it was, no one would ever divorce! I’ve been with my hubby 11 years now, we have a son, and I have no plans to ever marry and he knows that. It doesn’t mean we love each other any less than let’s say a married couple… It’s all about perspective I guess
Marriage certificate is just a bit of paper. It doesn’t mean loyalty for life.
On saying that…it does protect you and your children if ďivorce/death occurs.
If he doesn’t feel happy to take the marriage step…look into protecting yourselves more by making a cohabiting couple agreement.
Obviously you’d need legal advice on that and it doesn’t give you the same rights as a marriage certificate but it does give you more protection.
If you stay as you are…you both need a will stating where your estate goes in case of death and a written agreement on what would happen should you part company
Horrible as it is…none of us know what the future holds and we must protect ourselves and our children
If you’re ready why wait for him to ask why can’t you ask him… Doesn’t alway have to be the man
Don’t try and fix what ain’t broken. It’s a piece of paper, if you are both happy together as you are you don’t need it. You’re already committed to each other.
Buying a house together is more of a commitment than marriage! Xx
It’s more than paper if he was to die she has no legal right to anything of his whatsoever
My ex and I were gonna get married and he passed before hand I literally had no say even tho we dated 3 years and lived together and joint bank account
Why not propose to him then ?
My question is what makes you want to get married? My boyfriend and I have been together 7 years. He’s helping me raise my son, I’m helping him raise his son. We have a place together, we have bills together, his father already calls me his daughter in law and even yesterday said whose the best father in law around?. I was married before and my ex cheated on me during our marriage. Would I like to get married again? Sure. Is it worth breaking up over? No. My boyfriend does want to get married also, we just aren’t in any rush. Only difference at this point would be my last name and filing taxes. I mean, who says you can’t refer to him as your husband now? It’s just a word.
I know a lot of relationships who have been together, cohabitating, for years with no problems. However, they decided to get married and within 2 years they are divorcing. Marriage doesn’t make a relationship last. In fact, I feel long-term relationships who finally decide to marry seem to break down fast. I wouldn’t rush him into marriage if he really doesn’t want to. If you really love him, you can call him your husband without the marriage certificate.
At someone stated above, since you are cohabitating and investing in property together, you should make a legal document should you guys separate. Maybe you can do a ceremony without the actual legal marriage certificate. I have a friend who actually did that. They had a ceremonial wedding but they never submitted a marriage certificate to the court. They just wanted to proclaim their love for each other without all the legal hassle.
To me…a marriage certificate doesn’t mean what it used to…Before marriage was the second step, only after dating (while living separately) and getting to know one another. It was the step before living together, buying a house, having and raising kids. It was the signifier of lifelong commitment…But we as a society have negated that as a standard necessary for lifelong commitment.
Many people put the marriage step last or skip it altogether.
My husband and I lived as though we were married for years before we were actually married. I was the one with the huge reservations initially (having been married before and it going really badly). The biggest thing that changed was our tax forms. That was it. Nothing else really changed.
I think in this particular instance the first thing I personally would do is sit down and figure out why the desire to be married is so strong for you. What exactly is the reason? Then…sit down and really hear why he’s reserved on getting married. Try to understand his perspective in the same way you want him to understand yours.
Have a conversation and try to find a compromise that you both can live with.
He will when he’s ready, stop pressuring him
Ask him to marry you 
Wow. Really disheartening comments. Marriage is one of life’s greatest blessings, and you’re not wrong to want that security and bond. A strong loving marriage provides you with the kind of intimacy that no other bond can, and this is why it is also a very holy act. Good luck to you my friend.
My daughter has been with her boyfriend for 17 years no need to get married he treats her like a queen wouldn’t trade him for anything
My thoughts on marriage is that there is no reason for the government to get involved in your personal relationship. It’s fucking weird and me and my husband both feel the same way about that. We’ve been together almost 6 years and we have not gotten legally married and we never will. We have gone through many of our own deep commitments and initiations that have solidified our relationship in our own personal ways. We both just feel that there is no good reason to get a “license” to be married because there’s no need for the government to be involved and we both hate the government anyway. We got engaged a while back before we both realized how stupid marriage and all government related things are. So we will probably technically be “engaged” forever, but to each other, and everyone else we meet, we are husband and wife.
I know my daughter many, many yrs ago was with a wonderful man, He was very good to her, but after 10 yrs she wanted to know where their relationship was going. He told her he will start looking at houses & within a wk, he dumped her,!! Told her she was rushing him, I gave her a lot of credit for walking away without any fights, If he really wanted her, he would have tried getting her back, I do believe he did love her, he was VERY good to her & as his family. But to say what he did, was wrong. Several yrs later she did meet the man she was to marry & have a daughter with him. Now with your guy, he doesn’t want to get married, If he did, he would have said something yrs ago about it, He is happy the way things are. Now you say you guys brought a house together, so I am guessing, it’s in both of your names…hopefully. If not, it’s not your house, it’s a house you live in, that’s his. Big difference. If you are happy & love him & he is good to you & your kids, be happy, live your life with him. Let the marriage thing go, I have seen people get married after living together for 20 plus yrs, only to get divorce a short time later. Being with someone that makes you happy, who loves you, is everything & just take that & make every day as special as you can
Marriage is over rated , if he’s committed to you and your children why isn’t that enough?
Marriage is different for everyone. I met and married my husband inside of 3 months. We’re happy and have a healthy marriage. My cousin was with her now husband for 10 years before they got married. They also have a happy and healthy marriage. I also know people who have gotten married quickly and it’s ended quickly or people who have waited years to get married and then it’s ended almost immediately. With myself and my husband, no one purposed. We were talking one day and just decided to go get married. We filed for the license the next day and was married the day after that. I’m wondering what his response has been when you’ve brought up getting married. Does he shut the conversation down? Does he engage like he wants to get married at some point? Is he indifferent to it one way or another? It’s almost 2022. It’s not 1950 anymore. If you want to spend the rest of your life with this man, and you wanna marry him, then ask him.
I was never going to marry. A couple bad relationships and seeing some failed marriages did that to me.
I met my my other 1/2 and we spent 5 years together with so many ups and downs i knew he was the one and I asked him to marry me. We have been together 17 years and married 12.
If you think marriage is what you want, discuss it. I didn’t want marriage and told him that from the gate, but time changed things for me and sometimes that happens.
Best wishes.
If it’s concerns about him passing on, have him make a will.
I’ve been with my fiance for ten years and we’re still not married, though at this point he’s stuck with me forever AND we call each other husband & wife, lol. Weddings are expensive, and we just focused on buying a house and raising our children together. He has all the paperwork filled out so if something should ever happen to him, our kids and myself will be financially set. Maybe ask him if he would be willing to do that? In my opinion, a wedding is just a piece of paper (and a lot of freaking stress) and it doesn’t make the relationship. How you guys love each other and the children you share is what makes a marriage.
Why are women so against proposing to the guy? (After reading some of the comments). I proposed to my guy video game/borderlands style. He still wanted to do a little proposal for me so he did around sunset right on the water. Then we “eloped”, had a Harry Potter wedding and everything, rings and dress included it was about 600-700$.
Find out if he does want to get married eventually. If he says yeah then you propose.
Talk to him about.
Y’all are living together, he’s raising your kids, treats you great hunny your married in a way without that piece of paper. It doesn’t have to. E official legally binding for him to be your husband
It took my husband and I 21 years to get married and I asked him it was like well we already live the married life let’s do it. We did 2 years ago.
It took 13 years and six kids later for us to get married. We were young when we started our family and we had to grow and mature alot before we were ready. I was always after him about getting married but if we had when he was younger it might not have lasted.
Personally I wouldn’t have it any other way! been married for 48 years since aged 19
If it ends that piece of paper is very important legal marriage is important
Sometimes marriage makes a man feel forced and that can turn what feels good now to pressure later… let him take his time never force a man we dont think
Six years is a long time
Been with mine almost 7 years. Still not married I don’t want to be married. We have kids together too.
Some times that piece of paper can ruin a good relationship.
Personally, I don’t need a piece of paper to validate his love for me…he shows me he loves me everyday…I have kids from previous relationships and so does he and we are raising all of our kids together…people put so much pressure on others to get married almost like you have to be married or the relationship won’t work…for me personally marriage is what ended my previous relationship…I chose to not get married again…if things are going great and you’re happy and in love then why put strain on a perfectly good relationship and possibly ruin it?
Legally, marriage is important. If he doesn’t have a living will naming you as decision maker you could be out in the cold should something happen to him and vice versa. To protect one another, it is important to have legal measures in place. When you start dating someone it is important to have timelines in place before you start playing house. When you get ahead of the commitment you end up in a backwards relationship.