I’m sorry you are living through this situation. Luckily you have come to a community of women that understand.
Not sure what your living circumstances are?
But if you have rights to your home with a lease. Next time you call the police on him.
Tell them you are IN FEAR FOR YOUR LIFE. The police have to then investigate further. Possibly arrest him.
If you do this?? Please follow through on court dates and such.
That will get him in jail for at least a few days. So you can either move out or have the locks changed. Have security measures taken!!
I’ve been there…. Almost 10 year marriage. It’s not gonna get any better. You have to leave, cops can’t make him unless you go request a restraining order and an immediate move out order with the restraining order.
Called my parents and told them I needed a way out. Waited till he left grabbed kids and baskets of clothes for each and left.
Mind you it gets tough for awhile
Phone harassment degrading “nobody wants you. You will come begging me to take you back!!”
My reply every time…“WATCH ME!!”.
I made a plan and started saving money and secured an apartment and I left before he killed me bc he was very physically abusive and I knew I didn’t want to live like that anymore. I left 11 months ago and never looked back.
Have you talked to a professional? You can also talk to lawyer to see how you will make it financially. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment. Suggest he go also and if he won’t, don’t wait for him to change, cause he wont. You will know when you’re ready. Hope this helps. Will pray for you
First- Is this your husband or a boyfriend? Second- who is the owner of the property where you live or whose name is on the lease? You must break up with this man and never ever let him in your life again no matter how much he cries. If you are afraid of him get a restraining order. Are you employed? Do you have children? All things to consider but absolutely figure it out so you can get away from this abuse!!
Ask yourself this if you have children in a relationship is that what you want your children to see is that how you want your children to think that a relationship is pain and hurt manipulation break the cycle only you can break the cycle we can all tell you our own stories and give you all kinds of advice but it’s up to you we can’t make you happy nobody can make you happy you have to make yourself happy you have to love yourself first and don’t ever allow somebody to lie hurt or manipulate you especially in to staying with them because then they know that they have that control over you and when you allow somebody to control you then you lose everything about yourself and that is the worst feeling ever so like I said before only you can break the cycle don’t get me wrong it’s okay to love someone as long as it’s an equal and respected on both parts.
Love is a state of mind, you have one, use it to save yourself. He’s not worth it, and he’s not going to change, so you have to change. Leave
Pack up and go. Find somewhere to go. Family, friends, shelter if need be. But he is not going anywhere. Take control and go. You owe him nothing. No explanation. No tears. No heart to heart. It will not change it will get worse. Break all ties.
Why do you think you are not worth a good relationship? It is your lack of selfrespect that keeps you with him. You have two choices. Please bear in mind that many women have been in your position and these are proven ways out. 1. Shelters for victims of domestic violence. They have resources to help you start over. Jobs, places to live, clothes, legal defense, emotional support, the list of help available is endless. Been there. 2. Make a plan. If he gives you money, start an escape fund. Pack a bag with copies of birth certificates and id’s. If you can, work, in the home or outside. #1 is the better choice because you will be working with professionals that can keep you on track. They can help you regain your self worth. Remember, you are teaching your children that this is what a good relationship looks like. Children learn 3 ways. By example, by example, and by example.
I waited til he went to work packed me n my kids a bag caught the megabus with 7 kids n when he came home from work we were in another state
I havent quite figured it out yet myself. Love is so powerful and i feel like a failure if i give up.i lost all the friends that we mutually had together.also his family hates me because of the stories he tells…
a. lawyer b. counselor c. bank d. plan
You leave, nope there is no compromise. If it’s bad and you don’t like and are in the cycle GET OUT.
I think you no the answer to this,
contact women’s shelter in your area they will advice you on what to do, do you have family you can trust? If so then start packing things and leaving them at there house . When you have enough essentials for you and your kids (if you have any kids) go when he’s out the house or at work and never look back! Start a fresh life , it’s easier said than done but plan your escape or he will make that decision for you and take your life from you 
Take notes, voice recordings of how he treats you and if you have enough evidence take it to the police (only when you are out of the situation though)
Women’s aid will help you build your life up but you have to make that 1st move… wish I can help you.
Please reach out if you can do.
Please please please read up about narcissism. Once I recognized their game plan and pattern, it was so much easier to leave when I realized just how truly sick he was and how much it was NOT me.
I had to move out of state. I was so afraid of him. He beat me all the time. It worked. Moving. Its hard but I am fine now. 20 years later
Save yourself I experienced the same issues. I left with no place to go and little money. Don’t sacrifice yourself. Mental health issues don’t go away
I went to a group for women who get abused they helped and put me in a womens refuge where know one knows where it is or knows of it
Throw his tuff in the garden and lock the doors while he’s out. If he comes carrying on then call police every time! There’s also dv teams that can help you
It does get better!! Being alone isn’t as bad as you think especially after a crap relationship.
5yrs later I’m a single mum and foster carer 
you can do this 
you’ve got all the plausible advices here.they are coming from both their own experiences or from someone they knew.learn from all of these.it is time to get action…for yourself
Yes it gets better when you leave the situation and build a new life without him.
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Make a plan and stick to it - squirrel money away - be strong - you’ll get your self respect back but only when you formulate a plan and do it.
Get the hell out!!! How can you love someone who treats you like that???
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Start by reaching out to a crisis hotline such as KANWIN’s (773-583-0880) im not sure where youre located, but they will connect you to other resources that will help you.
First tell yourself you are worth a better life! Love yourself enough to Take a Protection from Abuse out on him! Go to a Safe shelter and start to feel good about yourself. He is trying to control every part of you and has succeeded. Pack and get out, your life is in DANGER!
If he won’t leave you need to. Pack a bag, worry about getting the rest of your stuff later, and find a friend or family member you can stay with for a while. If you don’t have any, there are shelters for victims of domestic abuse. Don’t waste your life waiting for him to change and then lose out on any chance at happiness with someone who treats you right.
In some occasions like mine it doesn’t get better it gets worsts. I am one of the lucky ones some of us don’t make it out.
The first step is the hardest after that your feet will follow just keep moving forward and don’t look back even if it’s with the bare minimum.
Leave, leave now. I’ve been there and done that. You will never find the happiness your looking for with him. You’ll probably love him until your last breath,and that’s okay. But you will never be at peace if you stay. Right now, hes getting everything he wants and you’re always left wanting, anything, any scrap of phony kindness hes willing to give you. Leave and take your power back. Your worth it, and so much more💕
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Leaving is not going to work he will find you and things will get even worst buy you a gun and take care of the situation and your self because he will never leave you alone untill he kills you are hurts you bad. Self-defense is your only hope.Good luck God bless you 
Walking away seems impossible? Can you continue to take the abuse? Make a plan. Seek help from an organization or church. Battery is not love.
Hes never going to change, men like that thrive on weak women. You have to be strong get a job and kick him out! I promise you will find love again
Youre NOT insane. Something I realized when I finally got free. Somehow you just HAVE to get the law involved. Im not sure how, my ex was abusive so i was able to get him arrested. And that was my way out
I left with the clothes on my back , luckily my mom was still alive so I lived with her until I found a job in my new state.
You are involved with a narcissist. They never change, and it will always be your problem, not his. The love bombing works well because that’s how they sucker you in over and over. Leave or enjoy the roller coaster ride forever.
If you don’t believe the advice about how he won’t change and that you are being emotionally abused get put on a your sanctuary course so you can have a third party educate you and make you realise what tactics are being used against you. Good luck x
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In my life i have learned tat when im in a bad i pack my bags n go n suffer the. Con cequences n i have always done better.
Welcome to loving a narcissist. It will not get any better. You are trauma bond with him. If and when you are ready you must leave no contact. Go to Quora and look into narcissistic relationship . It will give you insight
Leave when he gives you the money , act like everything is fine but prior to doing that get your affairs in order, pack things in empty suitcases and leave when he’s gone but first rent a storage unit with cash and pack a small box or two daily and eventually you’ll be ready mentally and physically
It will not change. They know the power they have over you. You are loved and will find love again.
No one has the power to change your future but you. This situation sucks but it will not and does not define who you are as a person.
He is actually a weak person. He has to break you down because he will never be happy and enjoys inflicting pain. True love does not include this.
If you have a mutual bank account close most of it out and get out. Go to a friends , or family member or even a hotel. It wont be easy but its temporary. Your life may very well depend on it.
Think also about what you want, where you want to go AND think about how much energy you are wasting here. Where could your energy and time be better utilized??
How can you say you Love someone that is treating you as you say. I can’t understand that at all. Very strange to say the least.
He’s a narcissist. He will NEVER change. At some point you just have to put your foot down and be done. There’s nothing else you can do but go no contact. Look up narcissistic abuse cycles and trauma bonding. I have a pretty strong feeling based on your words in this post that you will understand everything you find about the topic.
I was in a very similar situation. Leaving that relationship behind was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. They’re master manipulators. My ex was able to keep me around by making me feel like everything was my fault because he knew I would stay to try to fix things. I don’t want the relationship to end because I’m a piece of crap. So I stayed and tried and tried. Eventually after I couldn’t take any more abuse I finally woke up and realized what was happening to me. I was able to leave it behind once I realized what he was doing and why it was so affective at keeping me around. It was a game to him. It took me a long time to understand the rules, but once I did, I won the game and took my life back.
You can too!
I second a lot of advice from the other posters as well in regards to safety. Narcissists can be violent once they feel like they are losing control and the fake water works and manipulation isnt working. I would do things in a way that ensures your safety.
I finally picked myself up and left with the help of fridnd. Amotional abuse is so much worse than physical. Your scars will heal inside you will never be the same
Go to the women’s shelter they will help you start over. Abuse gets worse not better if your forgiving him all the time. Been there done that
You have to slowly build up the courage in time. Trust me please I know so much how it feels to only be in something because you love them too much that it’s destroying you, and nothing is working in any aspect anymore. I know you love him. But start thinking of a future without them. Once you build up that courage and you finally have the sense of being independent, TAKE IT AND RUN!!! Don’t ever look back or question if you made the right choice, you’re going to feel like you’re going to die and it’s one of the worst pains i have ever felt in my life, you feel physically sick, you have random screaming fits, it SUCKS SO SO BAD i’m not going to lie, but I PROMISE YOU IT DOESNT HURT FOREVER!!! You WILL NOT feel like that forever, time is LITERALLY your best friend in this healing process. It’s going to take a long and dreadful time, but i promise you from the bottom of my heart and on my best friends grave, YOU WONT FEEL LIKE THAT FOREVER!!! You can’t feel better if you stay in a toxic situation. You’re gonna miss them for a long time, but not forever. I thought I was going to die when my ex and I broke up, that was 2 years ago and now I don’t give a shit if he lives or dies. I promise you you will be okay.
It will get better. I stayed in an abusive relationship for 4 years. He had a bad temper. Brought me down all the time. I was in my early twenties at the time and his dad and my mom where dating. I needed a car so I stole my license plates out of my bureau and packed a bag of clothes and told him I was staying at my mom’s for the weekend as he dropped me off at work. My manager worked with me on this issue cause he knew. My mother came to pick me up that day from work. My grandmother came with us and bought me a used car. The next day I took my grandmother to a movie while my mom and his dad moved my things out. A year later I met my husband. Just gotta do it. Get some counseling. You are stronger than you think. He will try to say nice things and beg but focus on the bad. He will not change! You are a beautiful person inside and out. Yes I did cry when I left and wanted so bad to go back but I stood my ground. I even drove by the apartment a few times. He quickly got a new girlfriend. Please leave him. If you need to talk please friend me and I will accept. I am here for you!
The only place you will be safe and get the psychological help you need is a womens shelter. It is hard but your life will be so much better. He is benching you. It is a real thing read up on it. In baby steps your life will be so much better. I walk away from my own home with 2 small babies. No one could help me because he would threaten them. Once your out you will need to change everything like your phone # where you shop buy gas meet friends everything. Scary yes but it is the only way. Don’t look back i know i was totally love and marry a nit cake like that.
Wow, feel like I’m reliving my past when reading everyone’s comments. Lots of good advice on here on what you should do. I’ve been there too and it was a very scary situation for me. Luckily I got away from him and just barely with my life. A few seconds more and he would have caught me and killed me. Make a plan and tell no one unless you trust someone enough to tell them. I told my mom what my plans were and that if she doesn’t hear from me and my kids one day, I will be gone but safe and away from that awful man. I had no choice but to leave while at church. Some members helped me to leave. I took my 3 young kids to the police and they were waiting for me to arrive because church members contacted them and told them my situation. They escorted me home to grab just a few things with important papers and we left everything behind and went into a shelter for battered women for 45 days. They asked what I wanted to do after this days and I said I know that I don’t ever want to go back. I lived in a small town so everyone knew everyone. They placed me in another city and I never looked back. It was such a good feeling to not have to be stressed or scared for my life or cry anymore. I looked over my shoulder for about 5 years until I finally realized that he wasn’t going to find me or hurt me anymore. Please, please, get out now! Why wait to be happy when you could be happy now? Find someone you trust and have an exit plan. I started over with just a few clothes for my girls and I and embraced what life was ahead for us. It was the hardest decision I ever had to make but was the best one. You can be happy again. Just plan it out carefully. Find a shelter that can help you. Believe me I was as desperate as you are. Like everyone is saying, slowly pack your things and take it to someone you trust until you’re ready to make your move. Start loving yourself. You can’t worry about him anymore. He’s choking all the life out of you. When you finally leave, and are happy, you’ll say to yourself, “why didn’t I do this a long time ago?” May God be with you along the way and keep you from harm. Amen. 
It doesn’t get better…but one day something will happen and you will have had enough. Hopefully it will be before you lose your kids (if u have any) or maybe even your life. He won’t change
Get to a Crisis center as fast as you can and save both of you. He needs help and won’t get it as long as you enable him. Quit being a victim.
He will never change. He is a narcissist. Was married to one for 14 years and nearly left so many times but ended staying with hopes that he would change. He never did. I finally left and I finally feel alive again. Leave him, you won’t regret it.
It’s the typical narcissist. He will never change he is incapable of change per his choice. Idk where you are but I know you are living my story. I finally broke away after 41 year marriage. Even still he hovers around like a vulture as we have children and grandchildren. Look for a support group on FB. I was fortunate and blessed to find a few strong Warrior women who were my anchor. As they themselves muddled through. You can do this.
Gaslighting and narcissistic.
Educate yourself about these two things
Very toxic.
You can’t ‘fix’ him.
Leave him. You will need to do this very discretely and not let him know …He will never leave you as long as he has your emotional attachment and he knows it.
Gaslighting…
you need to get your self confidence and self esteem back.
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It won’t het better if you stay. Leaving is hard…. But worth it. You can want someone but still know they aren’t good for you.
I had the same problem. We were married and had a child together. I found out that he had been cheating on me our whole marriage and just started to distance myself and then moved 5 hours away with our son. We had a very nasty divorce and still have a very toxic relationship but realizing that what I thought was love, was in fact not love; made me feel so much lighter and I started to love myself again. I started looking at things for myself and my son and no one else. It was rough moving and I moved in 2 weeks flat but I got it worked out. I live a simple little life and work to provide for my son and I. It does get better after the heartache and it is hard but there is always light at the end of the tunnel. We were “together” for 5 years (I put in quotations as I thought we were but apparently not according to him) and I just started recently seeing guys again.
Been there. I just made up my mind to go, and did. I told him I was leaving and started to pack. As I up it in a box, he took it out and put it back. After an hour I told him I could pack for longer than he could unpack. I was out within 24 hours after I made up my mind.
First, look up what gaslighting is (that’s what he’s doing to you.) Secondly do research on narcissistic behaviors and the cycle of abuse.
(You can search them in incognito mode if you’re afraid he might go looking in your browsing history.)
He’s isolating you by making your friends believe him over you, he’s taking away your sense of security and your support system. You need to start and escape plan. Get yourself a p.o. box so you can receive mail without him or anyone else (if you don’t trust they won’t tell him) open a bank account he knows nothing of. Start saving. Get cash back when you’re grocery shopping or buy visa gift cards. Look up abuse shelters in you area and see if they can give you immediate help. The more he gets away with his behaviors, the more he will continue and the worse it will get. You are not crazy!
You have to be done and ready to get out or you’ll keep going back. Good luck to you. 
Look up Narcissists and trauma bond. I believe this is what you’re going through. He will NEVER change.
25 yr toxic relationship. Thank god not married. Went to the courthouse and had him evicted. Knew he couldn’t fight it if it went to court with the paper trail. Do it now. I should of done it 20 yrs ago. Live life. Be free
You need to leave. You didn’t mention kids so if you don’t have them it will be easier. You will only have yourself to look after. But if with kids they need to be away from that situation ASAP. It will harm them almost beyond repair because they are being conditioned to believe this is how a woman should be treated and that is what they will seek as they get older. It ain’t easy but a hell of a lot better than being dead. Because it will end that way.
Sounds like you need a separation and couples therapy. If he’s not hurting you physically I would do that if that doesn’t work it’s time to go.
Your tired of it, but just not quite ready to let go, that’s something you’ll have to come to grips with, no one can make up your mind for you, I just hope no one get’s seriously hurt first 
Have you reached out to q marriage counselor? Also, have him check with a psychiatrist, he might need medication.
Girl someday you will look back and think if i just would have quit hitting my head against that brick wall. Just think what it is going to do to the kids heck you might not even notice until they are older. He has issues it is going to effect your whole being let the police remove him get a restraining order whatever it takes its easier for him to go then you with kids! Put your big girl pants on its not as hard as you think its not easy but you will be happier.
Find the women’s shelter in your town and seek advice from the professionals that are connected with that.
Been there done that. YOU and only you can decide when to be done . The END.
It will not ever get better. Leave. Now. If you have to crawl with nothing but the clothes on your back, leave.
When you get a chance just get up and go I done it a couple of times just took my clothes and kids left furniture and everything else started my life over it felt good to get rid of a dark cloud hanging over me just do it don’t look back your worth it
You have to just leave. He’s taken your soul. When you leave it will be hard, you might have to get a restraining order, he’ll stalk you. When you leave you will find strength and get your self respect back because right now you don’t have any self respect, you have become a non person. I’ve been there, done that. Just leave.
I know you love him, but you need to love yourself more and leave. This cycle will sadly never end honey.
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It won’t get better. This pattern will continue and get worse. I hope you’re able to love yourself more than you love him.
Change the locks when he goes out. It’s the only way. Call the cops when he tries to break in. It’s hard as hell but it can be done
I managed to get out. It’s been the best thing ever. You can do this, and things will get better for you for doing so.
Make an appointment to see Women’s Health. What does love mean to you?
It seems as tho you have poor self-esteem which is self- worth & lack confidence that you can be alone & be ok. If police aren’t taking this seriously, then you need to. Get out before your safety is compromised and receive physical injuries, instead of just emotional abuse that erases your self-esteem.
Build your self worth up so you can attract healthier interactions.
Best of luck with this journey!
Get a restraining order if you are serious. Buy a hidden camera there’s all kinds on Amazon that are under $30 and record the fights.
You need to leave. I’m sorry, but you deserve better than this. Make a fallout plan and stick to it. Save money on the side. Do whatever it takes to get out of there.
You WILL leave. Eventually. When the bad outweighs the good over and over again, the love starts to die. When you can’t stand him touching you, that’s the beginning. When you DO eventually leave, there will still be minor sadness of what “could have been”, but there is no rosy future with this guy, just a continuance of this behaviour. He is proving this every day to you. Count how many moments each day you are happy. Then count how many times each day you are not. See? It’s not getting better is it? You will leave. When you’ve totally had enough, today or tomorrow or the next day perhaps. Don’t wait too long because you are just giving him more of your life to destroy and waste. Does he deserve to have a happy smug life playing these toxic games with you? Because that is exactly what is occuring. You are his punching bag. While you feel sad, lonely and afraid of the future, he’s having a ball! Don’t fall for those tears, it’s just manipulation. He knows exactly what he’s doing. I wish you the very best, there is a wonderful freeing and safe future ahead. You just can’t see it through your current misery. Again, you WILL leave, all you need to decide is if you’ve had enough yet.
You sound like me a long time ago but i got to a point in life that my children didnt deserve to hear us argue all the time i saw my life when i was growing up and that gave me the kick up the ass i needed didnt want my babys dealing with what i had to. So i went with my children stayed on my own yes i had relationships but no i was not having anyone live with us. Lost a lot of friends because they listened to one side of our break up(his side) but you know what i DONT care all that im interested in is my children. And so ive cut almost everyone off now and im so much happier( no more drama no more he said or she said) people are quick to take sides but they DONT have a clue behind closed doors. Ive since moved on remarried and am very happy. So their is light beyond the tunnel just be brave and get your life back. Wishing you the best x
Pack up and go to a woman’s shelter. If the house is yours get and restraining order Pack up his shit and throw him out. Never never see him again. You deserve so much better and it’s out there!! You can be happy again!! There is a lot of options. Reach out to friends and family if you can and just go. Even if you haven’t talked to people in a while I’m sure some would still help. Just be careful. Don’t let him know your leaving. Whej he’s gone just Pack up n go. Call uber or find a ride. Have a plan. You deserve better!!
Get out while you can. Soon he will get physical when he realizes you are close to up and leaving. Get a hold of a domestic abuse shelter. He is gaslighting the hell out of you to make you feel like you are at fault, to convince you that he is the victim. Don’t walk, don’t jog, but run out of there because you deserve to be happy and not be abused.
You need to get out…I don’t know how. Maybe a woman’s shelter.
If he won’t leave, u leave…find somewhere else then move out and just disappear…u don’t need someone treating you like that
He sounds exactly like my ex right down to a tee. This is classic narcissistic behaviour and he won’t ever change. I can guarantee that if you keep staying that one day he’ll belt you if he hasn’t already. Pack your bags and change your phone number. You can do this x
Do to a women’s shelter and get counseling on where you should go to start a new life. Sounds like your relationship is escalating to a point he might kill you.
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This sounds like how my ex was. It took me a year and a half to get away from him fully but if you’re on the lease and he’s not have him evicted by the landlord. If it’s the other way around find family or talk to your friends. It will get better and you will be happy again but you have to leave him first. You don’t love him anymore you love the idea of him.
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Wait until he is gone, clean out bank account and hit the road, car, bus, train,plane. Don’t look back. Don’t use credit cards, he can trace, get a throw away cell phone and start over. He may kill you if you stay. Blunt and to the point. Be strong, do it, good luck with your new life.
You have to WANT to get away. Until you get to that point your life will be chaos. Ask yourself…is it really love you feel or is this guy a habit or you are dependent on him and the abuse he dishes out?
Next time tell the cops he threatened you. They shouldn’t leave him. You have to be strong. Talk to counselor or abusive women shelter they may give you help. But its really up to you.
Plain and simple get out not worth living in a abusive marriage for you or your children. You just waste your life away by living with him
Sweetheart…close your mind…open the door…walk out…close the door…time…maybe lots of time…will let you heal…but do not keep the soar open…walk out and close the door…no one can take the initiative but you…
Ask yourself what is it you love? Do you like abuse? Do you like being lied to? You already know he is not going to change no matter what he says! Go to a shelter. It is only going to get worse — you know that — you just refuse to admit it.
If he’s emotionally abusive he will never just leave.
My only escape was taking my kids and staying in an abuse shelter. Most have programs to help you get on your feet because they know you’re leaving just about everything behind, and may not have a way to support yourself. And classes to help you learn about it. That’s how common this.
When I went, I thought it would be horrible. And while the idea of staying in an abuse shelter with my kids in itself sucked, it was strangely freeing. I was free to be a whole person again.
It does get better, when you finally get mad enough to leave. I’m not saying you’re not mad. I’m saying you will hit a point where you can’t fucking take it anymore and you’re pissed and you will go, because the alternative will feel like dying.
You can do it 
SOMETIMES U R THE ONE WHO HAS TO LEAVE…i did last night
I was there bfore…later he left us only to come back…much much later.old ,& sick…I asked him to leave my house, not ours but stubbornly stayed…until he’s gone with d wind…It was a relief to be free from this braggart. who boasted that his relatives love him very much…if that is so y did they help him to a bus going to us…I did not take care of him as he expected…I have to work for my survival…a nightmare…
Leave get yourself a live in baby sitting or nanny job for a while .free room , meals & salary you can save & get on your feet. That’s what I would do .
When your really ready to leave …you’ll leave
You’re loving him or the idea you’re making yourself of him?
Pack and leave. It is hard but you just have to do it.
Muy cierto mi reina 
, hay que esperar que lo bueno siempre llega cuando menos lo imaginas y muchas veces está junto a ti solo falta mirar a tu alrededor para descubrirlo
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It won’t get better until you leave. How about going to your mothers or friends.
Dont let anyone tell you to leave. You and only you will know.
People kept telling me to do all sorts of things to do but I didnt feel comfortable.
Suddenly one day out of the blue for no apparent reason I JUST KNEW NOW ITS TIME and I was like an express train.
Make sure you can accumulate some money and if youve hot a faithful friend all the better - regsrds to correspondence from gov departments etc. Buy a metal box with a key or preferable combination lock and store dtuff in thst to leave at your friends place - money included. They wont know whats in there by having a locked metal box.
Even stsrt taking dtuff out - clothing etc or any valuables you dont want destroyed in case they trash stuff like my EX did. Theyll break/destroy anything in one of their fits.
You can always hide clothing etc by saying you are taking stuff to a 2nd hand place. Thats easy. Its the things that are priceless to you but not to others that is the hardest to move.
I forgot! Whos house is it. That can make a huge difference, especially if it is yours.
Just make sure yiu have a contingency plan and start storing as much money as you can. I had none when we split and it was so hard.
Idvalso get advice as well and make sure your close friends know so they can back you up. I do know how hard it is but in tgebend itbwill bebthe best thing you can do for your own health. Ifbyouve hotbyo getbout in a hurry like 2morrow, are you going to take furniture if you leave the house.
Someone I knew was in a very bad way regsrds to her leaving andvIm.notbgoingbinto that situation other than the police were also involved!
Everything was set. As soon as he left for work, the police and removalidt truck were there and it all happened in under 2 hrs. She was taken into a womens shelter for security because her case was so bad. There are placesbyou can seek help thst are far better than when I had to go through this. A warning. If you are working and have left. He might stalk you and find out where youve moved to then harrass you. Its possible. Youll have to find where to suddenly move to if it becomes immediate.
Judt keep a small bag packed thats not obvious. Yiu coukd look.up a womens group for help or even seek.advisevwhere to go through the police. Do all this before even attempting anything if possible.
I wish you all the best.
Its a very lonely life being single again but at least you arent on tenderhooks all the time or being dictated to and everything else that comes with it. Id join a womens grouo for women.in yiur situation or even one that you can join before you leave. Youd get a lot of info thst way as well. Open a new banking acvlunt up under your name and even with another completely different account. Watch yjur facebook acc because he coukd do whst my daughters ex did. He knew her password and actually changed it without her approval. Now he was really nasty!
Thank good all that is also behind her now.
Good Luck
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Get out as soon as you can! It doesn’t get any better! Believe me!