My second child had no heart beat but I knew something was wrong when I was getting sharp pains…it made it easier when the doctor told me but still hard…I would suggest go visit your family it will make you feel better and you can also talk to them about it
I had the exact same thing happen to me. It took me years to finally tell my family. I didn’t have to get a D&C. I gave birth in a toilet at a gas station. I was all alone and it’s something I’m still not over 12 years later.
Even those of us who experienced that pain can’t tell you what will help. It’s okay to feel whatever you feel in the moment because they are your feelings and it’s your body and your baby. Just know lots of you are surrounding you with virtual hugs.
That happened to me at 10 weeks…I did the d&c, they put me out for it. To me it was less traumatic than waiting for it to miscarry itself…I had a miscarriage a few years before that so I had that to compare it to…hugs💖
Sometimes the heartbeat is hard to find or hear and its possible they are off about your time being pregnant keep your head high and hope for the best
Im sorry for your loss… My first baby was a miscarriage and I was pretty numb over it all I can say is any response you are having is a correct response we all deal with loss in different ways … It will help if you and your hubby talk about it as this situation can sometimes put a strain on the relationship … You dont need to tell anyone about it if you dont feel comfortable doing so I didnt have that choice as I was 18 and my mom pretty much told my family I was pregnant and once I had the miscarriage I kinda had to tell ppl we lost the baby… Give yourself time to heal
Don’t go thru this alone. I lost my baby at 8 weeks. I had another ultra sound done 2 weeks later. No heartbeat, no growth. I waited about a month to naturally expell the baby. I ended up having a D&C.
It is so hard especially when you are keeping something that big and that painful a secret. Would you want to be there for your sister and have her lean on you? Same for your mom. Throughout life if we only share our good times, then we are cheating ourselves and our loved ones of comfort and bonding. Yes, it is painful. But it is happening and they will want to be there for you.
It’s perfectly normal to be sad, for both of you. As soon as you realized you were pregnant you both registered in your hearts and heads you were going to “ have a baby “ in about 7 months or so. And now that has been taken away. You both have a broken heart 
you both shared a tremendous loss. As life changing as a child coming into your life is. So is the loss of one. Comfort each other. Talk to him. Try to get him to talk to you. And don’t feel bad about going to your mom or your sister, they love you and would not want you to go through this alone.
Your feelings are nomal and it’s okay to cry when you’re heartbroken. I had two miscarriages and like you, my husband cried more than me. As I had prayed asking God for a baby, I continued praying. My husband said no more heartbreak. I feel pregnant two months after the second one and he was so angrw with me such that he only accepted at four months. God was good and my boy is almost 10 now. Don’t give up my sister. God has good things in store for us all the time. Like one said on the comments, maybe God is saving you from something that was possibly wrong with your late Baby. God be with you and your husband as you continue trying and trusting Him for He alone knows best.
I went through this never easy to do…just don’t give up after can take time but if you want a family keep trying…just not the right time you will be blessed soon good luck on your adventure only wish you the best!!
It is never easy to experience a miscarriage; and it takes time to get back in stride again. Take it slow; these emotions have to be released so you can heal emotionally. Stay in prayer; Christ & His Blessed Mother will give you the strength to bear your loss… one day at a time.
I’ve been through the exact same thing. It’s very difficult and everything you are feeling is completely normal. So sorry for your loss, prayers.
Same thing happened to me at 9 weeks, baby stopped growing at 7 weeks 4 days. I chose to wait and let the baby come out on it’s own. I’m so sorry you are going through this!!! I’ll keep you in my prayers!
So very sorry for your loss. I would feel like I could start moving forward after the D&C. We all grieve i different ways. You will know when its the right time. Remember to take care of yourself too.
All those emotions are perfectly normal and natural. Stay with your plans. Write in a journal everything you feel. Sometimes writing is like telling someone. If it doesnt help ill call your mom or sibling.
your hormones are part but also as a parent which you already know we live to take care of our babies. I bawled through my D & C it was more than I was ready for and I knew and had time but the overall was just emotionally more than I was ready for… I was NUMB For a few days and then hypersensitive…
OMG my heart breaks for you I was 12 weeks when this happen to me and was left devastated. When I went for a D&C I cried all morning before I went in and the worst part after it they put me on the baby ward and all I heard was babies crying and all I could do was cry. I was put in my room the door was closed and that was it not support at all. Make sure you have a support network. It is not something that you will get through quickly just take some time at your pace. Sending love and prayers to you❤
God has the baby in His arms and you will meet him when you get to heaven. Your hormones will settle down shortly and you will be mentally up beat again. You and your husband hold each other and cry until you can’t cry anymore. Then lift up your voice to heaven and ask God for your hearts healing. He will and you will be well. That’s His promise. Next year you will have another precious one and the joy will be so awesome. Blessings.
You’re feeling exactly how anyone is supposed to feel in this time. We don’t have to understand it, it wasn’t your fault, it’s not ok, but it happens we don’t know why god chooses this but we have to accept it. I’m so truly sorry for your loss, I pray you and your husband can heal together and keep pushing on for your other child, but that doesn’t mean act like it never happened. You can still do things for the baby you never got to know. 
Wow I didn’t know so many had miscarriages. My prayers are with you all. My sister had a experience several, then when she was 5 1/2 months with her son, she went into early delivery (labor pains and all) her son was born at 2.5 lbs and stayed in the hospital until his original due date. This is when they found out she would need to be bed rest at 5 months if she was to have another child. She was and had her 2and child (6 years later). Both were born by C-section.
I’ve had two miscarriages. My first I went through in the ER. I was supposed to be 13 weeks and the baby stopped growing after 6 weeks, my second the doctor caught in time and I was able to have a D&C.
You take as much time to process and heal pretty lady. Grief has no time line and no rules.
Praying for you and your family.
Usually it’s a rollercoaster and you just have to hang on for a bit. Talk it through with your husband. Lean on each other, be there for the tears. You will heal and he will too. You dont have to tell anyone but I’d recommend speaking to 1 woman. The 1 you’re closest to.
It’s happened to me twice…My advice is get ultra sound and blood work to make sure… Then do the DNC,it’s best… I’m sorry sorry,praying for you and your husband… My babies were yrs ago,but I still remember them on the days they should have been born… Take your time to grieve… It’s a lot to process
I miscarried at 13 weeks at my house. Would have been my 4th baby. Im sorry for your loss. 2 years later I’m 16 weeks and baby is healthy thank God but I was severely worried with this one. I cried when they finally let me hear the heart beat. Your baby is in heaven and is waiting for another chance to come down again. Rainbow baby.
I’m so sorry for your loss. If I were your sister, I would want to be there for you. You have to do what you are comfortable with. But it might help to share. It may also help your husband to talk with someone.
I lost a baby at 20 weeks.His little heart just stopped beating and couldn’t tell why.zshould have aborted the baby but didn’t happen so he had to be delivered by my doctor. Very sad time knowing that your baby has died.My prayers are with you
I’ve been the same experience had to have a regular delivery and carried the baby for an additional two weeks before I went into labor there are no words there’s only time
I’m so very sorry for what you are going through, 4 years ago my oldest daughter lost her only baby at 8 weeks,no D&C just completed the miscarriage through her body, your feelings are very normal , I also think you should get that ultrasound to find out for sure and find out what is going on inside your body now.
I would suggest a second opinion just to ease your mind. Dr.’s can always be wrong as they’re human and we make mistakes. After your second opinion I would go the D&C route just to save yourself some pain. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I lost my son at 25 weeks and I’ve never really gotten over it. I have 3 beautiful children but after we lost him I needed an emergency hysterectomy so I can no longer have children…it was double punch. I have a son from a previous relationship and my husband and I have two girls…this would of been his only biological son. He would never admit it but it ruined him. He still cry’s about it when he sees a little boy running around.
So sorry that is when I lost my first child at ten weeks pregnant. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Any feelings you’re having just go with them, I had so many ups and downs during my miscarriage and after. It is normal to go through ups and downs. Remember to take time for you. If you need to talk about it. Talk to those closest to you or your ob/gyn. You will be okay I promise, (((HUGS))) my dear 
We lost a baby in December and it was very hard…we only let a few close family members know. We had an ectopic and one of my rubes ruptured and had to be removed…all I can say honey is let it all out and if you need possibly look into counseling…we were very blessed but also very scared when I got pregnant right after…we thought we may have had more trouble with me losing one of my tubes.
You have every right to be upset and heal in wahy way you need. Wishing you all the best and that when or if you decide to try for another that you are successful.
I went through the same thing this year. I was so devastated. It was the first time in 21 years i was pregnant. The worst experience iv ever had. Im so sorry.
Always get a second opinion. Dr told me same of my third child. Went to different hospital. She is 39 now & blessed me with 2 grandbabies
It’s all very personal. I had 2 miscarriages @ 10 weeks. You never get over it, but I always thought there was a reason. God bless you & prayers!!
I had a similar situation at three months - no heartbeat. I had to go out of town for work a couple days later and wasn’t ready to make a decision. I spent a week at work meetings with everyone believing I was pregnant still (and clearly showing). When I returned, there was still no heartbeat (wishful thinking). They scheduled the D&C procedure for the following week. I ended up having to go three long weeks knowing there was no heartbeat. I don’t blame you for wanting to get it over with. Recovery was not physically difficult so you should be able to go see your family. You have to process through it however is best for you. No one can tell you what works for you. Allow yourself to feel all of the emotions but give yourself grace to move forward.
Oh no! How heartbreaking…I think you need to talk about this very important and sad situation. I’ve never been un your situation, but please don’t keep it inside. Prayers and hugs to you
So sorry to hear this. This happened to me years ago. I had to have a D&C. Keep your head up everything will be alright. I was able to have 3 healthy babies after that (one within a year later that just turned 20). You take all the time you need to heal but you WILL heal and you will get through this.
I am so sorry for your loss you got all those hormones in your body so its okay to feel all those things it will get better but it takes time… prayers for you and your family
Any feelings right now of sadness, confusion or hurt is normal. Even your spouse’s feelings are. Take things slow and healing can take time. I wish you so much love and support during this tough time.
This happened to me to reading your story has brought it all back to me with tears streaming down my face with the pain that it brings back it’s the worst pain in the world I can sympathize with you 
you want everything to go back to the way it was but know you can’t your an amazing mummy please stay strong your 4yr old will get you through my 3yr old son got me through at the time & I went on to have 4 more 
my heart goes out to you & your husband I can promise you that you with learn to get through everyday but you will never forget what could of been I will forever hold a special place in my heart for my angel baby that was to precious to walk the earth so will you but i will carry my angel baby through my other’s in being the best mum I can be like I would of been to him or her you don’t get over it you get through it & learn to live with the pain that remains & the hole that will forever remain but remember to let your husband in as much as you can he could be the one person that get you through it all as you could help him to as let’s face it no one will ever know the pain like you to do my heart love & thoughts are with all 
xx
Im so sorry for your loss… The same thing happened to me. I was devastated .after my d & c I got pregnant 3 weeks later not meaning to I guess I was super fertile and now have a bouncing baby girl she is almost 9 weeks
I’m so sorry for your loss. I remember when my daughter miscarried 7 years ago and I still think of that time and what she and my son in law went through. Sending prayers your way 
No matter what your feelings are absolutely normal! I lost one at 7 weeks, even after having 3 successful pregnancies. My doc told me then that one in four end in miscarriage. What an awful stat
I miscarried at 8 weeks. You need to feel your emotions. You both do. Heal together. I was alone but you are not so let each other feel your feelings apart and together and you will get through it
I lost my baby at 10 weeks I opted for a d&c but wanted to wait a couple of weeks just incase baby came away naturally I didn’t want to rush the process as I was hurting so badly x
What you are feeling is very normal and it is important for you to talk about how you feel. I would absolutely suggest calling your mom and talking with your sibling about it.
Have a second opinion. Something doesn’t sound right to this story. Not trying to be mean. Usually an ultrasound is performed around the three months (12 weeks) time frame. It’s hard to detect the baby’s heartbeat without the ultrasound or a fetal doppler. With a stethoscope ,a baby’s heartbeat is often detectable between the 18th and 20th week. When it was mentioned above about the baby didn’t grow since last week? A bit confused of this situation.
I’ve suffered two miscarriages. It’s never easy. With my first the doctor gave me the option of a d and c or wait to spontaneously abort. He offered to wait a week before doing the d and c and recheck the next week. I was already at 8 weeks. I know he was doing this for my comfort, reassurance, and so I wouldn’t have to make that decision. The night before I was set to have the d and c, I lost the baby. I really held out hope for a different ending for that week but it wasn’t meant to be. I had another miscarriage a few months later, and then went on to have two healthy boys and two uneventful pregnancies. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I was 6 weeks when I miscarried I had not told any of my family and I wanted the D&C asap because I know it would kill me the longer I had to wait i found out on Monday I had the d&c on Wednesday Luckily I got to work on Tuesday to keep my mind off of it but I totally understand where u are coming from
This is without a doubt the saddest thing that sometimes happens!! Maybe in the future the experts will know why!! I know how you feel and it’s crazy and good and sad all at the same time!! I was so blessed!! I got pregnant again and the boy is so amazing and so much just like his BROTHER and SISTER!! But I dare not tell them that!! Praying for you!!
So sorry for your loss… take care of yourself. You need to have the procedure to protect your health. I think having the procedure done will help with closure. Again so sorry for your loss…God’s little angel now
Those are all natural normal feelings your family will give you love and support in the healing you need many blessings to you and your husband
So sorry for you and the loss of the baby. I went thru the same thing 3 times and it doesn’t get any easier.
I went through same thing at 8 weeks. After fertility treatments. It was devastating. So weeks later I got pregnant with my son thats 20 now. Then 4 years later got pregnant with my daughter shes 15. Your in my prayers.
You can feel however you want. There are no lines in the sand, rights or wrongs. You deal with it how you want to. It is very sad. You will heal, but not right away. You and your husband need to be together and mourn together.
1 Like
I know how hard this is am so sorry for your loss i remember crying even when i travel sitting down and would just ball my eyes out but you know what got me through was hearing my ex husband say we will have another baby it wasn’t what i wanted to hear but it help so i guess what i am trying to say is it will happen that was 14 years ago and i cant never forget my baby it would have been 14 today Doctors say it was probably not ganna be normal i didnt care i would have love him or her but everything happens for a reason
I lost my baby at 6 weeks. It was very hard. I went through a period of time where I hated everyone. I hated myself. Blamed myself. I was very angry at God. I was a mess. Its the only time I seriously consider suicide because it was my first child and I didn’t want to be somewhere my baby was not. But honestly it helped to have people closet to me know about what I was going through. At the time I hated that everyone knew because I felt like I was a failure but now years later I’m glad I had the support of my loved ones who called me just about every day to check up on me and pour out their love over me. It helped me heal.
I’m so sorry for your loss. You should share your burden with those who love you. I know you don’t want to make them sad but it would make them sadder to know you’re going through this without their support. If this had happened to your sister, wouldn’t you want to know so you could be there for her? Loving support from family is what family should be.
We found out at our 12 week appt baby had no heart beat and it was rough! That was back in January I still have my days but it’s better. I waited two weeks to see if my body would natural miscarry but I ended up having the D/C. I cried for weeks after. It’s still hard knowing that I’d be delivering in 3 weeks if I was still pregnant.
First I am so sorry. Second your grief is your own. How you deal and heal is 100% you. No 2 people do it the same. Ask your doc or look at your local Facebook pages for support groups.
Sending healing vibes to you and big hugs. It is totally devastating. My daughter lost my first grandchild at 10 weeks. You both will need a lot of support.
There is no right or wrong when it comes to grieving everybody has there own way. I would definitely get a second opinion as a lot of places rush threw exams just because it’s something they do everyday and it’s there job. But things can be missed. And wrong. My sister was told she lost her baby and told to have a dc to just be sure everything placed when she went to go get that they found a heartbeat and said she was carrying twin and had lost one the first time. And I carried my little girl the whole term and went in on Friday because I wasn’t feeling right and they sent me home and told me to come back Monday to be rechecked well needless to say Monday I woke up bleeding to death and by the time I got to er and had a emergency c section my baby wasn’t breathing anymore. So definitely go with your gut and get a second opinion.
Any kind of feelings is normal. I’ve had 2 miscarriages and in April I had my baby girl at 24.5 weeks and she passed the next day due to respiratory failure
You have every right to question how your feeling!! I was carrying twins …one vanished (vanishing baby syndrome) and the other I lost. There was a reason for this! Now, I have 2 healthy preteens (((HUGS)))
You should feel exactly how you feel. But you need your family. Let them hug & show you their love.
No its not weird. Every emotion that you’re feeling is validated. You just do what you need to do for yourself. I am so sorry for your loss. God bless!
You should feel exactly how you’re feeling. We all handle tragedy differently, you handle yours exactly as you should. I would ask to find out the sex so you can name it and make a little memorial for it. Gone from this earth isnt gone from our hearts. I’ve lost 2.
I would tell your family, yes they will be sad. However, it is normal to be sad, you have lost a precious child that was going to join in your world. You will need someone to talk to. Miscarriages are very hard on you physically and mentally. Lost one at 13 weeks.
I was in the same situation and I had them remove it so they could check what happened and when I got the bill I was in shock and full of emotions all over. They said I had abortion!!! No I didn’t so I called dr office and they said since my body didn’t do it on its own that is how they have to code it. I am so sorry for your loss
There’s no set way on how you should feel. Let your feelings flow, no matter what they are!
1 Like
Sending hugs and prayers and you do as you feel everyone manages loss and stressful situations differently, it may take you some time to realize what happened.
First. Im very sorry for this loss.
You are devastated. This was what you snd your family wanted. It was a real loss and you are in mourning, rightly so.
You take of it as soon as your able. I think the longer you wait the harder it will be. Remember, no one can tell you how to feel and there is no statute of limitations on grief.
You have to feel what you feel when it hits you snd try to go on with life gor yourself and your family. Taking refuge in the details if life sometimes helps. Best wishes for you all.
I am so sorry for your loss. As a mom, myself, were I, you, I would not tell my family. It would only really sadden them in this terrible time we are going through. God will give you strength. Go have the D@C. Be patient. There was something wrong with that baby. God did not want you to have to struggle with a sick baby. No that all things work together for good, to all that believe and trust in Him. Pray and ask God to help you be strong. He will. Then, in time, you will be able to have another baby. That one will be healthy.
Trust me! Our Lord is so wonderful in that way! I experienced the same thing. I trusted God. Got pregnant 3 months later. Had a healthy boy.
I waited to do a D&C and it became an emergency on Easter morning back in 2007 so I would recommend not waiting. My stomach was very distended and I was in severe pain once I started laboring the deceased baby. Don’t wait.
Take your husband with you do you can grieve and say goodbye together.
The rest is natural feelings just let them out it’s ok
I had a d & c it made it alot more easy and made the process quicker x it’s alful hun, don’t question what you feel and why x consentrate on you and making yourself feel better., get some support
Breathe. Its hard but just take it one hr at a time. Yes go see your family. I went in suppose to be 12wks my baby had passed at 9wks and 5days. I lost my mind for a min and my mother had my daughter for 2wks. Its hard and everything feels “weird” or “wrong” but even though your family didnt know doesnt mean you cant tell them. It helped me to have my siblings close and talk to them. Take the time you need to breathe, scream, cry, pray, grieve, whatever it is you need to do but dont forget to just breathe and just take it 1hr at a time because that is easier than trying to take the whole day on at once. That is the best thing i can tell you to do from my own personal experience. But dont ever feel alone because you are not alone. We are here for you.
We all grieve differently, and it is a real process. Your husband and you need to hold on to each other while you grieve your loss. I am so very sorry for your loss:blue_heart:
They said my oldest son was a “blighted ovum” at 10 weeks. I went in to do a DNC at 11 1/2 weeks. They did an ultrasound (standard procedure before termination) and boom. His heartbeat was there. Hes now 26 years old. Idk your circumstance, but make sure you get an ultrasound before they do ANYTHING.
1 Like
This happen to me twice. I felt so much emotions at once. I know how you feel. You should go. I did have 2 more kids after that but I airways think back from time to time of how I felt. Like just now reading your post. Good luck.
I am so for your loss. You mourn however you feel you need to. If you think it will help to go see family and try to just get on with life that’s what you do. If you feel you need to lock yourself away and cry it out then you do that. There is no right way to mourn. You do whatever works for you. I have been in your position I was farther along but I still mourn my lost babies they would have been 22 this year.
You feel however you feel there is no wrong way to feel. I felt confused, helpless, hurt, angry, heartbroken, I felt like it was my fault. Everyone feels different but yet everyone feels the same, so sorry for your loss
I’m so sorry. I went through 2 in 6 months. But 2 years later I had a rainbow baby and he is now 15. Schedule the D&C and go see your sibling it should help. Write down your feelings and share your grief. Those who love and care for you will be there for you. God Bless your family.
It’s normal to cry. Crying will help through this difficult time. Check with your doctor if he feels it’s safe to travel than do so. It will take time to heel.
It’s ok to be sad. I went through same thing. It helps having someone to talk to.
So, so sorry. Maybe talk with VERY close friends or family but #1 a psychologist. One has truly saved my life.Hopefully your insurance will cover. If yiu go to one and dont like, switch to a different.
I’ve been in your shoes several times three to be accurate I was between 16-20 weeks for all three I would cry and cry but had to be strong for my other children so I would just go to my room or cry when they were in bed or at school . That feeling stays around for awhile and it hurts but you just have to pull yourself together and move forward. I hope you can find the peace you need to move forward
It’s ok to be heartbroken and confused. It is a normal response. It is so heartbreaking and I pray that you have a complete healing of your body and or yours and your spouses hearts. I am sorry for your loss.
It’s heart breaking. This happened to my son’s wife a few days before it was due that was 14 years ago and at times he still breaks down. Just pray that God will ease your pain.
Please get a second opinion before you do anything. My daughter’s friend was told she miscarried when in fact she hadn’t. She gave birth to a chubby healthy boy
I am so so sorry. After many losses at many stages…I will just say, there is no right or wrong way to feel. Just give yourself time and permission. To grieve. To process. To be still. To be angry. To be said. To feel nothing. Whatever. You might even feel things you didnt expect - and thats ok. Those really hard feelings will pass … the confusing ones…the disorientation… I promise. While you won’t ever foget…you will put it all to “rest.” You will find peace… probably sooner than later… just be patient with your soul - and your hubby’s. Take it one day at a time…and yes. Rest. But do things that distract you and fill the endless hours of waiting for time to pass. Travel is good. New scenery. Visiting family… just remember to be patient with them too. If you disclose - they need processing time too. To each their own…
There is no right or wrong way to feel. You need to do what is best for you. Take time to heal and lean on those around you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
So very sorry that you are going through this😞 16 years and one rainbow baby later, and I still hurt on my lost baby’s expected birthday. I agree with the comment that there is no right way to do this. Listen to your doctor and discuss it with your hubby❤️ Love and prayers to you!
I am so sorry for your loss. You grieve the way you need to there is no right or wrong. I do feel you should take an ultrasound to confirm. Stay strong:pray:t2:
That happened to me with my first, and really does leave you depressed for a while.
I’m so sorry for your loss I also know the feeling I lost my baby girl at 8 months of being pregnant it was very hard but it also help to talk about it
Im so sorry for your loss. You grieve as much as needed…and talk to those you need to( mom)…and get the healing you need💗
Talk cry shout hug your other child and husband tighter. I say this from experience. I lost my daughter when I was 20weeks and she would not abort so I had to go through labor. So please only advice is talk openly. Talking heals
Well I would want fetus out so I didn’t have complications later and infection. Want to not have problem visiting