I’d have snatched her ass up. Dragged her ass to where her clothes are and told her to put some on. She is in your mothers house and not her own home. So she cant he looking like a tramp here.
Little girl is absolutely inappropriate. My daughter is 13 and she will NOT be dressing like that at 16,17,or 18. Not as long as I have a say in it!
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Dressing age appropriate is important.
But I know one person’s idea of that can be different to the next person. I have always had large boobs and would be made to feel like I did something wrong if I wore a tank top when it was hot.
It’s not my responsibility if there’s old men looking at me when I’m wearing something that shouldn’t be sexualized.
It does sound like maybe the girl has some stuff going on that she’s looking for attention though.
Rather than you saying it you should have Saud it to your mom since its her house. Maybe she needs some guidance and possibly a therapist to deal with the attention stuff. You saying it seems like now she’s been ostracized and it will become an awkward thing later.
I really do need to say though, women should be able to wear what they want without backlash that their bodies are too much. Or to be made to feel like it’s there responsibility that men would even look at them at young ages… simply put old men shouldn’t.
You did the right thing
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No, I think that young girl needs to have an adult figure tell her that’s inappropriate. Perhaps that’s how she was raised, but that doesn’t mean that’s how society should see women. Good for you for saying something.
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Not your house, this should have been addressed by your mom.
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You did the right thing. And as I have a 14 yr old daughter as well I sure hope someone would speak up and let her know how inappropriate it was/is. Embarrass the hell out of her. She’ll learn one way or another. And it may be that the girl being called out and embarrassed is exactly what she needed to have done to get it that that behavior is inappropriate for a 14-16 year old girl. Not a 20yr or older young woman.
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It’s one thing to let Young People Express themselves. I will tell you I was a troubled teen looking for attention showing my body wanting older men not having the capability to understand what I was doing. It is completely inappropriate and I do not feel there was a problem saying anything.
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You did right! 
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It’s not your place . Makes you sound jealous
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I’m all for feeling comfortable in your own home and all, but this is beyond that! That girl has issues, and she’s seeking attention from males because of it. I’ve been there, I wish I had someone to tell me stop being disrespectful to yourself, she’s lucky it’s you and not some unwanted male
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There is something very wrong, when girls are told to dress a certain way, because adults feel uncomfortable…
She should not have to worry about other peoples lust.
That said if she really did ripe of her jacket and reveal nothing but a bra, as soon as she saw you, she might need someone to talk to, about why she feel the need to do that.
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I think pulling her off to the side and talking to her one on one would have been better, thin maybe no arguments.
But yes she needed to be told.
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I’m perplexed why you’re complaining about this girl when you stopped by your mothers to pick up some cash….
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Not your kid shouldn’t be telling someone else kid how to dress.
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I would have said something too! That’s disrespectful to your family and to her self
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No you shouldn’t have said anything. You’re the only one sexualizing that kids body.
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Your mother should have said something to the girl. She obviously does not have anyone who cares enough about her to teach her right from wrong. Talk to your mother privately about it. The child will be in deep trouble someday if no one cares.
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You did the right thing.
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Quit thinking sexual about her
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You shouldn’t of embarrassed her. You should of taken her aside and asked questions. She doesn’t and shouldn’t be in undressed state infront of grown men but the attack was unnecessary.
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I would have done and said the same.
There’s so many reasons why I applaud you for saying something, but what it comes down to is she clearly isn’t getting the parental guidance she needs, so go girl.
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I think you are completely in the wrong here. Just hear me out.
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You are telling her that you “never” want to see her walking around showing that much skin around a adult male but in reality no adult male should be tempted to look at a teenage girl. You basically told her that her body is a object and it’s more important to make men feel comfortable then to let her feel comfortable and confident in her own skin.
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I’ve been that friend living with my friends in high school. None of their parents ever told me how to dress. And being called out like that would of made me extremely uncomfortable.
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You don’t know her, like you said. She covered up when you said something and she may not think much of how she’s dressing because it’s 2021 and let’s be honest, it just how a lot of people dress now. She could be a very nice girl and even a positive influence on your sister.
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If it makes you or others uncomfortable that’s literally sexualizing a SIXTEEN year old. She has the right to be comfortable in her own body and her own clothes. (Which if she’s living with a friend who knows who is actually BUYING/PROVIDING HER CLOTHES if anybody) And if this is such a HUGE issue. It should be privately handled by a responsible and reasonable adult that holds some importance in her life. It should not be you calling her out like you’re in high school, like you said you don’t even know her. No one has to dress to make you or anyone comfortable. A shirt on that shows your bra is normal especially if you have boobs. Maybe the girl was hot and she just took off her jacket? I don’t understand how showing skin has anything to do with being a kid or not. Skin doesn’t mean ANYTHING when it comes to your age. People who “get uncomfortable” around clothes a child wears make me uncomfortable. 
Stop sexualizing children.
I think mind your business. She is a guest in your mums house and if your mum said nothing then it’s not your business. This post is about you, you didn’t like it, you felt ‘violated’ you abused her and stole something from her in terms of her control and agency because you think your morals are better. Stop policing others- you seem to have work to do on yourself.
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I think this is a double edged sword. Where saying something makes it seem like you are the one objectifying her but on the other hand I feel a certain type of way about young girls overly sexualizing themselves as well. If she went out of her way to rip off her jacket to show off her boobs, then she is trying to attract men sexually. It would be a bit different if she was a younger child, but as a 16 year old girl…she has probably had sex and knows that sexualizing herself will bring her attention. (The wrong kind of attention, but she is a teen and naive.) I understand that women want people to stop sexualizing every part of their body, but it all comes down to intent. If she was sitting eating dinner and was already in just a tank then her intent was comfortability. However, to rip a jacket off of herself right after she saw your male cousin…that intent is attention seeking and should be addressed. Maybe in a far less embarrassing way though.
At the point of her pretty much stripping when she saw y’all? Yeah I’d have said something that’s extremely inappropriate for anyone to do
That would be considered indecent exposure
No shame to what she likes to wear but she does not need to be doing that mess she did with ripping off her jacket in front of other people
Male or female that’s not right
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I definetly would have said something!!! Young ladies should be taught to respect their bodies and not basically exploit themselves for everyone to see. I hope your mom corrects the friend and makes her wear more appropriate clothing.
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I find it more weird that when a male family member came over you felt like they had to cover up more. I would question that more than I would question why she was showing cleavage or wearing a crop top. At the end of the day, if it was more so just be more respectful dressing around the house I would’ve talked to her one on one and just ask her if she could dress more appropriately.
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you did the right thing.
it was not right for her to walk around the house like that, she is a child & you did right in telling her to cover up. And its an issue that thr parents should also talk with her about, shes gotta have decency and respect
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That is something I would have mentioned to your mother in private… and just let her address it with the kid in private. She needs to be respectful of other people’s homes. I would never want to humiliate her or slut shame or anything like that… but there are times when it’s inappropriate to be undressed. My son lives in his underwear and he knows if people are coming over he puts on shorts… kids/adults everyone.
I probably would have done the same those males are family the girl is some random teenager staying at your moms. All it takes is her saying well so and so did this wether she provoked it or not.
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Yeah… She’s looking for attention and in some very wrong ways. It’s not about them wearing what they want and expressing themselves. Your mom should be the one having a private chat with them. You did the right thing in being stern in telling her to quit putting it out there. I do hate to say it but she’s got to watch and think about what she’s doing or the wrong person could take her up on it. Yes, of course a man should be responsible but… Reality is a different thing.
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Stop sexualizing her. Women don’t have to cover up cause a man decides so.
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So you told a girl she shouldn’t dress a certain way if grown men are around?
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You are completely right to have said something but, it depends on the way you said it said it and the tone you used.
It’s okay for her to walk around wearing what she wants however, the problem is her taking of her jumper once she realised that a male had walked through the house. That’s a teenager looking for attention in the wrong way and yes, I would have told her to put the jumper back on.
Speak to the friend. With her family going through something she might be looking for the wrong company to give her attention. Get to know her take the girls out explain that you don’t hate how she dresses and that it’s okay to wear whatever she wants but, trying to show of her body to your family members when they do come over is wrong. Try to say that your family is her family so your cousins/uncles/aunties ect. are her family too.
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Good for you!!! You did the right thing.
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No, if she lives there that is her home and you being uncomfortable has everything to do with you. You need to apologize for yelling at a 16 year old that you don’t even know. Maybe ask yourself why it makes you uncomfortable. Because a bra is the exact same as a swim top.
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I saw a mother and her, maybe 9 year old, who was wearing a sleeveless crop top, and super short tight bike shorts. Skin tight. I was mortified.
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I honestly think calling her out like that was inappropriate. Are you worried about the girls bra attacking? Or is the real issue that you don’t trust the behavior of adult men? If its her safety you were concerned about then you should pull her aside and explain that there are dangerous ADULTS that may be triggers to act out due to her wardrobe. I understand where you were coming from but I think making an issue of it only perpetuates rape culture and boys will be boys as an excuse.
I think you overstepped in a sense. Two things. 1. This is your mothers house and if anyone should have said anything it should be done by your mother. 2. If it bothered you, and you absolutely felt the need to say something - pull her aside and talk to her alone and explain to her why it made you feel uncomfortable. The girl may be seeking attention the wrong way with her body, because she’s lacking attention at home or wherever else.
I feel you left the door open for conflict, honestly.
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I think you were right. You felt uncomfortable and you spoke up.
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You taught her a life lesson today. Stick to your guns.
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I wonder if she is being abused or groomed or something. Where does she learn that kind of behavior? I’m not into slut-shaming, but showing off her boobs to men without warning is pretty in-your-face for no reason. Can your mom talk to this girl’s family & find out what’s going on? Maybe she can have a private chat with her about attention seeking, safety & body autonomy. Someone not as gentlemanly would take advantage of her.
I sure would have, Maybe her mother lets her dress like that but she should be very aware thst she is not at her house.
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I would have spoken up to. Clearly shes dealing with family issues and wants attention and thinks that’s how to get it. I understand why she is doing it and I’ve seen it many times but someone should tell her it’s not appropriate and she doesnt need to be dressing that way, shes 16!
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I fully agree with what you did. As a minor I do not think its appropriate for her to be going around stripping in front of men and on purpose. Men are obviously responsible for their own actions, but that could lead her getting the wrong kind of attention from the wrong people. I also feel this should be brought up to her mother as well before something bad happens.
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I think you were in the right
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I’m 47 years old and agree that we need to empower our young woman. However, that’s not done by shaming the girl. I often see young woman running/ wearing yoga bras even at the high school during practice. Our girls always wear them in track meets. Was it a small Lacey bra or a sports bra. If it was just a sports bra then I think you may have done more damage than good. Never, humiliate a young person in front of others about their body or attire. Maybe you could have had a girls night and introduced her to other styles.
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I think you done the right thing I would told her something too
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Hats off to you young man.
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YOUR RIGHT!!! That’s how young me get blamed for things!! And she should not be showing her skin like that around guys!! That’s how young girls get violated!! Good job protecting not only her but yourself and other guys!!
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As a mom and a grandmother, she needed to have more clothes on. Any adult or teen boy might not be able to verbalize what you did and would want to exploit her, talk her into having sex, or rape her. She has to understand that some people might take advantage of her.
I would have called her a slut
I would have too. She hurried up and ripped the jacket off when she seen you come in with an adult male. She had ill intentions and wasn’t just “lounging” when she took the jacket off.
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I think ur in the right
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Men can not just pull a minor girl to the side now and talk to them male teachers don’t even do this with students now and vice versa… Maybe you could have done it in a nicer tone… but sounds to me like it wouldn’t have mattered the needed to hear it from someone… a friend of mine just had a 12 year old foster and she would go change into sleep shorts and steal scissors and cut shirts up and tuck them into her bra… and then try and flirt with very much older adult women… And you better know as a mother of a 13 year old I addressed this many times behind closed doors and finally had to just embarrass the little girl to make my point needless to say she’s covered now
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I honestly applaud you. Shes clearly doing this for attention, and I think you should have your mother explain to her why certain clothes in certain situations aren’t appropriate (i.e. stripping off a jacket to show off her boobs to grown men who are just coming over to visit) and address why she feels the need to do that. It probably stems from her family issues, and she may need therapy for that.
You also have every right to be uncomfortable, as her doing that can lead to bad situations in the future. There are some clothes minors should not be wearing in public, especially when the goal is to sexualize themselves for grown men.
I honestly would be careful about being alone with them. People unfortunately make accusations, especially when their advances are rejected.
Wow. A kid is away from her own family due to issues, which is probably hard on her. Had to ask a friend, not another family member, to stay with them, which is also pretty rough. Your best way to handle her clothes is screaming at a young child because her body violates you? What a joke. So many different ways you couldn’t handled that but you chose yelling and belittling her. And are being patted on the back for it. Sickkkkk
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I would have said something the first time I saw her half naked. Some people don’t have manners or home training and they don’t know any better. The fact that she went and covered up after you said something shows that she needed direction and a dose of “have some respect for yourself.”
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This girl may have issues, you were right to speak up, but next time you see her go out of your way to speak to her in private. Explain why you said what you said, let her know that you think she is a nice person and be kind… Have some info with you like some phone numbers of school counsellor etc etc… Let her know there are people who she can talk to if she needs to. Something isn’t right for her to be doing that…Just my take on things
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I feel as though you handled it well and was not wrong. Actually as a man who informed her that’s inappropriate and she needs to cover her self up I applaud you cause these days men would take advantage of the situation and end up having relations with her and possibly end up in jail for rape. I don’t understand why females in general feel the need to expose themselves. If a guy really likes a female of any age he’ll like her fully dressed. Never offer the secret goods upfront. She needs some true guidance and strong role model to teach her how to present herself as a young lady. I understand her family is having issues but this is something can could ruin her life is behaving this way in front of grown men. Clearly she having some inappropriate thoughts and crave the wrong type of attention. I don’t believe shaming her was the intent but sometimes it has to come out that way. True it’s his mother’s house and he could’ve went to mom first but maybe hearing from a man will make her see the point being made. I see some say speak to her in private…HELL NAWLL! That could’ve went really wrong. These days men with no agenda makes sure to have someone present when speaking to young girls or females in general because of accusations that could be made. When my daughters were coming up and their friends stayed over and was going out I had to see what they were wearing as teenagers. I wasn’t going to allow them to put themselves in situations to be taken advantage of. Dirty minded men see as being fast and easy.
Your house,your rules…Tell her to put clothes on…
Ok so I find it very very very weird how some women think that young girls shouldn’t dress a certain way when there is older male family members around. Why? Is your older male family member such a disgusting pig that he would be looking at an underage child? Why in the hell do ppl think that its a child’s responsibility to dress in a manner that creepy older men won’t find attractive? Like seriously? Wtf is wrong with ppl. If your worried about a teenage girl covering up in front of your male cousin brother uncle father or whoever it seems to me that something needs to be said to those pervey old men not that little girl child. No self respecting man thats worth a shit is going to be thinking about looking at a little teenage girl just because she’s showing some skin. If they are taking a disgusting interest thats nit her fault. Wtf. Why would you expect a little 14 or 15 year old to cover up just to prevent these filthy pigs from undressing her with their eyes? Thats nit normal behavior for men. Any man that is tempted to over look and oggal at a child is disgusting. Normal men don’t do this. A look or remarks about how she’s dressed inappropriately for her age is fine but any man thats looking and being tempted and attracted to a child who’s showing akin is not a man, thats a sexual predator and the only one that needs talking to is them not that girl. Wtf. Stop making excuses for these perverted sick fucks
I would have done the same! And whooped my sister’s ass as well
Honestly it’s not your house. It’s not other people’s problem you are uncomfortable. Talk to your mom and see if she can set some ground rules and explain why. Sounds like this girl needs help and you just shamed her.
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Yes and if she is staying with your mom she should have set some guidelines!
I think alot of people here are not seeing the bigger picture, this young girl is staying with friends not her family I’m assuming family issues, she then sees a male and takes off her jacket to reveal her self that to me is a major red flag.
She seems over sexualized if that makes sense something tells me much worse has happened to this young girl and she may need therapy to help her through it.
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I would have done exactly what you did.
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I wouldn’t doubt it if she’s been abused sexually. I’ve known girls that’d do stuff like that and they were all victims. Never met one that wasn’t. I hope she gets the help she needs.
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You were completely right and your mom should have already talked to her about her clothing. Yes it’s sad she is going through stuff, but she needs to know that is not ok. I agree with some others that she definitely needs to talk to someone, but you were not in the wrong!
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I agree with you. She is in someones house, there should be boundaries there. Wearing appropriate clothes are 1 of them. Its called manners.
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No. YOU shouldn’t have said anything.
You ESPECIALLY shouldn’t have body shamed her in public (i.e., in front of her friends).
When young girls act like this, it is often because they were raised to do so. You don’t know her background. She has quite possibly been victimized and trained to believe that this is the behaviour expected of her around grown men.
If you were made uncomfortable, you should have mentioned it to your mother. In private. It is her house, not yours. If anyone is going to set ground rules about appropriate attire in her house, it should be her. Not you.
It isn’t up to that 16 year old to make you feel comfortable. Your sisters were right - they should be able to dress how they want to.
That said, her behaviour is indicative of potential trauma (such as sexual abuse), and YOUR actions will have done absolutely nothing but make that poor girl feel like something is wrong with her.
But, again, it is not up to her to make YOU feel comfortable. Do you complain about women your own age wearing crop tops and mini skirts? Do you complain about girls in bikinis?
I’m betting the answer is no.
Maybe YOU’RE so uncomfortable because YOU’RE sexualizing her clothing. And that is on you.
And if the answer to the above questions is yes…then the solution is to mind your own damned business, because how a woman dresses is up to her, not you.
Regardless, you handled this situation poorly and it will probably psychologically impact that girl.
Get on thata$$ and straighten her out….too grown
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It’s your mother’s house and she sets the rules for her home. You have no right to decide rules for a home that isn’t yours. If your mom didn’t like it in her home she can say so. At 16yo her sexual behavior isn’t your business. Maybe she can’t afford a bra that fits properly or even knows it doesn’t fit properly like so many women. If she’s comfortable wearing these outfits in the place she is living then why do you who do not live there get a say? Esp over a “child”? Not your place in any way.
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A broken home doesn’t mean one is justified in disrespecting other homes and people. The girl obviously gets away with disrespecting your mom’s house. People these days turn a blind eye out of pity.
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You body shamed a child. She will probably, one day, talk about this very incident in therapy. That’s how my teenager dresses in her safe space, I also wear shorts and no bra, and short shirts. Fat shaming, skinny shaming, body shaming period, is NOT ok!
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100% that girl needs to put some clothes on.
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Agree with your statement
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I would have told her to show some respect in your home. Sounds like she needs some guidance because she’s inviting trouble.
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Maybe you shouldn’t be looking at a girl her age like that!
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It’s not your house or rules mind your business and it’s a kid regardless if you don’t agree with their fashion.
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You did the Right thing!!!
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I wouldn’t have spoken up. It’s not your house so if your mom had a problem with it then it’s her place to speak up, not yours. It’s her body and her choice how she dresses it. You’re sexualizing a child and the clothing she wears.
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You was right. She is inappropriately dressed. I’d send her home. She will influence the other girls and I can’t see a school allowing this dress code. Does she have parents
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I think what she did was inappropriate but if you don’t live there than it wasn’t your place to say anything. Should have privately said something to your mom and let her address the girl.
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Just let a girl dress how she wants. She’s wearing a skirt and a crop top. If she’s not showing n!pples or v@g!na then it’s not a big deal.
Stop body shaming a child and stop trying to set rules for a house that isn’t yours.
And the worst STOP SEXUALIZING A CHILD. You sound like you’re the one with issues.
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I think a lot of people who read this post skipped over the fact that the poster said the girl was covered before grown adults walked in. I don’t think the poster has a problem with what children wear I think the problem is the child taking her clothes off in front of adults. If you think a child stripping to her bra in front of grown men is okay or normal! YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!! Kids need to be kids! I don’t care who the child is NO kid will be taking clothes off in my home or near adults without me saying something.
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You did the right thing. That girl was disrespectful to your Mom, her house, her family and to herself. Somebody needed to step up and teach this girl to respect others and herself. Otherwise she is headed for a world of trouble.
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She needs to cover up, good way to get into trouble she can’t stop.
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There might have been a better way to handle the situation like perhaps call her aside and talk to her instead of in front of everyone to make her understand that you are not shaming her but hanging around in your underwear is inappropriate. I too don’t agree with kids wearing basically nothing however I’m assuming your parents are her gaurdian of she is staying at their house and they should step in. The behaviour could mean more than what you think. She may be dealing with alot of things and this is her way of acting out.
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Nope, not in my house. Put clothes on. Good job
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Not your house or your rules. And if you felt uncomfortable, that’s on you. She should feel free to wear whatever she likes .
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If she’s staying there for the time being then she should feel comfortable. Not to your standards. Stop sexualizing a literal child. That’s the equivalent of say your mom telling your sister “cover up my boyfriend is coming over”
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If she did in fact whip off her jacket that way yes I’d have said something as well no call for stripping herself like that into a bra. Now I do get the point of she should feel comfortable in the home which I agree but not to the extent of making others feel uncomfortable. I’d have told her at least go put a tank top or something on if your to hot to wear your jacket fine but you need to have something on other than just a bra.
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several years ago while working security on the beach during spring break, I would make the kids feel bad for their behavior. They would do it for attention… I would look up and see boys and girls doing it. I would loudly state if that is all you got you need to grow up some more. They could not cover up fast enough… I know body shaming is a bad thing but there is a time that you just have to get their attention… Just a few days ago a girl next door was leaving home, and I was out in the yard talking to another neighbor. His jaw dropped when she came out of the house in a skin tight body hugging what was supposed to be a dress but was even to small to be a shirt. I said out loud your fur is showing. A few hours later I was getting the mail when her mom came out and said I don’t know what you said to Tammy but thank you! She just asked to go get some better dresses.
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It was not your house… if your mom has no problem with her doing what she does in her house, then you need to mind your own business, let her parents deal with her when they come back. That house is not yours and if you feel uncomfortable then don’t go there. Your mom needs to set the rules since it is her house ,not you.
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You were right. She needs to understand its wrong. She will likely influence those around her.
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Stop sexualizing little girls. Her body is not the problem. Your inability to conduct yourself respectfully and kindly regardless of what a literal child is wearing is the problem. Literally don’t look at them?? And no I won’t be arguing with any rape apologists or neck beard incels so don’t waste your time (: