I would have said something but other family members should have backed you up!!! Keep doing what is right!!!
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You did the right thing! 
I tell these little girls to cover up and put clothes on and stop looking like such a little hoochie!! I donât even know them, but I call them out in public. They will remember it, believe that!!
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It is more your home than it is her. Shes staying there yes. But itâs not like she would be coming back and forth to the extent you are. And its disrespectful of her to be staying at a friends house and running around in her bra in front of everyone there making multiple people feel uncomfortable. Your mother should have set rules for her before inviting her into the home.
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I am so done with all this âstop sexualizing a childâ when Iâm sure a good percentage of you would put your son in a shirt âmr steal your ladyâ or some shit like that.
Unless you have been sexually abused or harassed you wouldnt understand why it makes us uncomfortable to see that. Just because we dont see the child in a sexual way doesnt mean someone else doesnt. And the fact that she took her jacket off to show her skin to a male family member shows just how much she knows about getting a males attention. Which is something she was clearly looking for.
I was 13 with a 20 year old boyfriend. He would say shit like âyouâve got child bearing hipsâ and shit like that. He and his friends would argue about how they liked me too and he didnt like it. Itâs not us that are sexualizing the child itâs the world of pedophiles that we are trying to keep the child safe from.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU. more people need to tell kids this. Girls and boysneed to learn show there stuff isnât appropriate. Cover up and leave a mystery only a special one or two get to solve
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You did good, she should not make anyone uncomfortable, itâs not her home, it is your momâs so you have more right than her, you were correct in what you did and one day she may appreciate you or not, but her parents will. The way I look at is if you donât have to see my body naked or partially there of then I donât want to see yours!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Was I right or should I have minded my own business?
Who cares what theyâre wearingâŚwhy are clothes such a huge issue 
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She is showing disrespect in Your Motherâs home.
Yes you should have said something and so should your Mother.
Her issues aside, that kind of behaviour isnât acceptable and she needed to be told.
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Um youâre the problem. Who cares if she doesnât wear a bra. Youâre telling her she HAS to cover her body because YOU are uncomfortable with her around males.
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There is definately alot going on.
I think in general she should be able to wear whatever she feels comfortable in, itâs really not your business and it seems youâre sexualising her body, which really is inappropriate.
But her constant need for attention seems like a cry for help, she is subconsciously seeking attention, most likely because she has lacked it alot in her childhood, I think she could benefit from therapy and an active parent in her life. It seems like she comes from a trauma background and youâre definately not helping.
Aside from all that I think you should reflect on what healthy body positivity is, how damaging it can be to take away a young womans right to dress how they please based on your own bias and why sexualising her body as you do is inappropriate.
Your discomfort Iâm regard to how she dresses and shows her body is most concerning. You seem really offended is there a reason for that? Maybe you could reflect on why that bothers you? 
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If your uncomfortable day something but be ready to excuse yourself from those situations and there is a right and wrong way to approach this issue. Attacking a young girl regarding her looks (who probably already has self esteem issues) is not the road I would suggest, but perhaps pull her aside and tell her of your discomfort.
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I absolutely would have done the same thing, and have to my daughterâs friend when sheâs been here. Thereâs a line of inappropriate, especially at someone elseâs home, and especially when thereâs an adult male in the house. I wouldnât feel bad if I were you.
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Not your child not your business, if someone talked to my child like that we would have major problems
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Are you a Male?
Sounds like you dont like the way she dresses because you do like the way she dresses
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Boot her out of houseâŚ
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Modesty is important. It conveys a clear boundary between individuals depending on the relationship, age and gender of the group. Modesty indicates self-respect and respect for others. Modesty does not necessarily mean covered head to toe, but they are called âundergarments or underwearâ for a reason. This young girl is seeking attention the wrong way. It could become a dangerous situation if done around the wrong person for her or for the other person.
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YES. Sheâs a MINOR - men donât need to start sexualizing her right now - Iâm sure they already do, but my god. People need to be parents and have their kids be kids!!!
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I say you did good in telling her something bcuz obviously the âmotherâ is not doing her job well. Maybe you should of spoke to her privately just not embarrassed her in front of the guy. But overall I would of done the same thing bcuz that girl needs a good role model since at her house sheâs not seeing that.
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Be the man of the family! Tell your sisters the same thing you told their friend. That girl is trouble.
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The clothes issue is a tough one. If it were your own home, you can speak up and lay down a dress codeâŚbut in someone elseâs house (unless they 100% agree) itâs inappropriate.
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The real problem is that an overly sexualized child is a definite sign of abuse. So why are no adults in her life asking if sheâs safe at home??!
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Hell yeah i would have said something!!!
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You did the right thing⌠She needs someone to stand up to her and make her respect her self more⌠Acting this way especailly around older men is asking for trouble⌠Show her some of the sex trafficking surviour stories⌠And the non survivor stories
I would have done the same thing⌠we show respect around hereâŚ
I probably would have pulled her aside and talked to her privately, but yes sheâs young and if no one is teaching her at homeâŚI think itâs fine⌠especially since she is staying there.
Iâm a mom my youngest is 10 I absolutely would have said something also ! You are not wrong at all!!! You donât need to know her she is your moms home if anything you are protecting her âŚ
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Bras suck, I donât know what your problem is but you were definitely in the wrong here. Youâre sexualizing a young teen girl, gross. Youâre showing her that she has to conform to some one elseâs needs when she was comfortable, you sound insecure especially going after her like that. She probably tore her jacket off cause she knew she would get a ride out of you! Cause you sound like a real riot! You donât live there, youâre a grown ass woman letting what a teenager does affect you⌠sheâs not friends with you sheâs friends with your sister. Her parents have probably taught her body positivity and that bodies arenât just sexual tools, ya nasty. WHO CARES IF THE MEN FOLK ARE UNCOMFY! shame on you.
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It could have been handled a little different ⌠possible telling ur mom and asking her to mention it and it wouldnât of been so harsh like some say u donât no her situation at home people do different in households and sometimes they arenât right⌠but it happens⌠kids learn from us⌠they do what they see so slowly showing her a right path by respecting her body is one thing shaming her body is another
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I hated wearing bras, especially in high school. I wore tighter clothes though because honestly it was tight clothes or super baggy and when I dressed baggy I got mocked for âbeing boyishâ. I absolutely hated when adults made me feel awkward for not wearing a bra. I was just dressing comfortable with what were the options from most stores. Kids can win for losing, they get judged no matter how they dress. I honestly think this is a you issue and leave the poor kids alone. Quit blaming teens because you see sexualization. Theyâre just learning their changing bodies and self expression. If you cant offer constructive kind correction or advice youâre doing more harm than good.
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As a mother I would have put her in check the first time. I teach mu girls that you can have self confidence without showing off your assets. This girl is looking for attention in the wrong ways. No girl or women should thinking that showing everything off is the right way to draw attention, it only attracts the wrong kind.
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Id definitely open my mouth
She is under 18 years old & should not be walking around in just a bra she needs to have more self respect & respect for your mother who has opened her home to her.
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She shouldnât be throwing it out there like that. In your momâs house she should be dressing respectfully but this generation is so different. My family would just have to get mad at me the little girls would have to dress better
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You did the right thing!!!
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I would have, yes. It sounds like there may be a deeper issue. Maybe ask your mom to work with this girlâs parents to seek counseling for her.
I would have done same thing. My daughter had a friend that would come and try to wear stuff like that. I made her change.
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You absolutely did the right thing!!!
Hands above ur head now touch the ground if anythingâs shows change ur cloths!!! That is my rule for my daughter who is 10âŚour niece lives with us as well she is 16 the same rule applies weather she likes it or not. First impressions are everything people make snap decisions based on how people look weather that is rt or wrong is neither here nor there itâs what happens even animals make instant decisions based on how other animals look and smellâŚif u wanna put urself out there half dressed with body parts hanging out u will be treated as such weather u like it or not u want to be treated with respect dress with some respect!! U did the rt thing and telling the CHILD to cover up is not body shaming!!!
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Good for you.
She sounds like she/they needed a lesson in modesty.
I see nothing wrong with pointing out a wrong in your own family home.
If you walked into your moms home and someone was seĂually assaulting a 16 yr old GIRL⌠would you act or question if you should?
Nothing wrong with handing out verbal lessons when needed. Respectfully of course.
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I think body positivity is awesome but I also believe self respect is. A 15 year old doesnât need to have her boobies hanging out. Itâs not about an adult specializing a child, itâs about the child making herself that way. Some girls are innocent in their clothing. But to take your jacket off just so you can show your boobies and bra, thatâs not okay and I would have spoke up as well. Body positivity is a wonderful thing but so is self respect and there is a healthy balance.
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I think you did the right thing.
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This is a you problem. Donât sexualize children.
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Itâs your momâs house. You donât live there. Your mom probably knows more about the girlâs situation than you do. Youâre the one looking at her in a sexual way. 16yos is not a baby. You shouldâve said something to your mom and left the girl alone. Bringing up the fact that she doesnât wear a bra to school tells me youâre paying too much attention to that girlâs body. You need help.
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So sheâs currently living with your mom. So technically, you went into the house she is currently living in, for all intents and purposes, her current home. And shamed her for? Being comfortable in her own house?
Let her be comfortable. If it really bothers you THAT much, pulling her aside is definitely better than shaming her in front of a whole houseful of people who have been kind to her because YOU donât approve.
You went to HER house and shamed her in front of everyone for wearing comfortable clothes in her own house. That itâs also your mothers house honestly, does not matter here. She lives there currently and from the sound of it, you do not. You attacked and shamed her for being comfortable in her own house.
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You did the right thing
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Itâs inappropriate and I would have explained that sexual attention from males isnât the same as using your brain to attract males
Its your moms house and your moms problem. Mind your business
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Youâre sexualizing her. âThere was an adult male right in front of herâ, he shouldnât be thinking anything so ew also no bra, who cares.
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I Would of said the same thing . Cover up !
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Everyone saying âi hate wearing bras tooâŚetcâ is missing the point. She immediately took ger jacket off to reveal JUST A BRA underneath AS SOON AS AN ADULT MALE WALKED IN. Thats wrong and crosses the line of âwear what you feel comfortable inâ. Its 100% inappropriate even as an adult. Stop acting like everyone that doesnt wanna see a 16 year old in a bra is a pedophile, pretty sure thats the opposite
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Sounds like your mom needs to lay some ground rules in that house. Any time I had friends over, what mom says goes! My boyfriend at the time, now my husband, lived with us for several years & we had to abide by moms rules! Even a month before our wedding & I was 20, we still listened! You had every right to say whatever you wanted! As an adult & it being your parents house- youâve got that right. If the girl canât listen to the rules- thereâs the door!
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Thank you for saying something.
Did yaâall not read that,they were covered when the guys got there but then off came the clothes!!! Its not her being comfortable its screaming for attentionâŚthank you for saying somethingâŚits a respect thing.
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Thatâs up to mom because sheâs staying in her house ultimately. But how men sexualize women is not a womanâs problem. Itâs a mans problem. If they canât control themselves thatâs a whole problem right there. Respecting yourself can mean modesty or nudity for some women. And since you donât currently live there it really wasnât your say at all.
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I feel sorry for you people that canât trust the men in your life not to lust after other people. Geez⌠donât ever got to a beach.
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She sounds like she has been molested but that isnât an excuse for her wearing clothes inappropriately. If she comes over she needs to follow the rules of dress but it also sounds like someone your sister doesnât need to be around anyway
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I would have said something a while ago. Especially of it was in my momâs house
You shouldnât have said anything to her. You should have talk to your mom and your sister about it, so they could talk to her since you donât know her. Or you could have said it a lot better instead of saying put on some clothes cause youâre making me uncomfortable. You could have educate her about it not making it seem all about you or just because thereâs males around. Weâre in that time where if a girl/women wants to wear some thing she can and if it makes anybody uncomfortable then donât look. And it doesnât help that you also said it in front of other people around.
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She had to cover up because you were uncomfortable? How does that make any sense? Especially since you were the one visiting.
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You did the right thing⌠She obviously doesnât have parents that care⌠Good job parenting for them⌠
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I agree with you
I would have done the same thing
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Underdressed? Why are you sexualizing a child?
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Yaâll feminists are wild 
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I think you did the right thing but now should follow it up with some discussion.
Ok she is 16 she is a little woman im sure most of us dressed differently back when we where 16 boyish or girly girl shes 16 and she is boy crazy its a good thing u said something so she understands what men can or will do bc she is dressed that way as long as u said hey hun there is older men around ans they think with there dicks not there brain (some men) not all men look at little woman now a days these 16 yo girls look 30! And most are so beautiful she just needs to be told whay can happen and to be safe sure if u have yhe body hell show it but also be safe about it! My son is in gd 11 and I saw the chickâs in that school they been looking 20 and hell im jealous of there body I wish I could dress like them lol but 4 kids later ima fatty hahaha
I would have pulled her aside and privately asked her to change into something more appropriate. It is not sexualizing a child. Itâs teaching a female that was clearly not taught, modesty. I donât understand why people are ok with young girls looking like sexy adult! Stop making it easy for pedophilesâŚ
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Thank god someone said it o see girls that age and constantly want to say something for dressing just like that but canât x
If your mom doesnât allow your sister to dress like that in her home , then your mom should have set ground rules when the girl came to stay . She should have told her that she needed to dress appropriately and act appropriately when boys and men are around. Because it sounds like the girl hasnât had the right raising .
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I gotta say, she probably took it off because she could sense you were uncomfortable and she should be able to be comfortable with her body. She shouldnât have to wear a bra because youâre there or anyone else is. Bras are uncomfortable.
Now, as for it being your MOTHERS HOUSE not yours, you really donât have any right to tell her what she can or canât wear in that house. You should have talked to your mom first and asked her if she could have a talk with her about it. It doesnât matter if there was a male there or not, you should not have shamed her the way you did. You could have even said something âcan you please put your jacket back on, youâre making me uncomfortableâ
If you havenât spoken to her about it before, you shouldnât have just jumped her for it.
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If someone told me that (at 16 or at my current 31) I would purposefully wear the skimpyist outfit I could drum up on wish JUST to piss you off and make a point. 
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Wasnât your place. If you were uncomfortable, you should have left. Simple as that but instead you body shamed a young lady.
A person dresses how THEY are comfortable. Not to make others comfortable.
You did exactly what society does to women. Itâs wrong regardless of who is doing it.
You were wrong and need to change your views.
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maybe the adult male and any male should looking at her eyes and not tits
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What you sister hangs with will rub off on her. So yes I think u did the right thing. They argue cause they know youâre right
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I agree with you. This younger generation needs to learn to respect themselves.
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I think you should speak to her I dont think that is right either!
I applaud you. You did awesome. I would have done the same thing. Actually I have done the same thing to my niece shes 14 and wears boots shorts and crop tops. I told her hell no.
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YES! absolutely. Your mother should have mentioned it from the beginning. Maybe you shouldnât have did it in front of everyone.
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First- That male adult shouldnât be sexualizing her just because skin is showing. STOP PUTTING IT ON THE WOMEN WHEN ITS THE MEN THAT NEED TO CONTROL THEMSELVES. Also, who are you to tell her what to wear? You are NOT her mother nor even her guardian or family so what place do you feel you have saying anything at all!? This honestly sounds like an insecurity of yours that should be dealt with and NOT put on the 16 year old. Whom btw is NOT a child⌠Just saying. Why does she HAVE to wear a bra? Is it a mandatory piece of garment? No! Shit⌠I NEVER wear a bra in my own house and even sometimes when I go out. If ANYONE tried to tell me OR my daughter what to wear, we would have a BIG problem. Next time, just mind yours.
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I think a lot of these people commenting really need to reassess the type of men theyâre allowing into their lives and homes if they expect other females to accommodate them so the MALES donât have âimpureâ thoughts. Males are in control of their own mind. This is conplete and utter victim blaming in the making and its sick. What are you teaching a young girl if youâre telling her she needs to spend her time and effort accommodating men and changing her behavior to accommodate men and make you feel betyer??
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Yes, you were right.
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I agree she needed clothing on. If this was my child and grown men were in the house she would have more clothing on. Now if it was just us she can be as comfortable as she wants.
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Not your place. Youâre the one being uncomfortable, you shouldâve left. If I noticed grown ass men staring at a minor I wouldâve embarrassed tf out of their pedo a**es. She ainât butt naked, whatâs the problem? Boys and men are allowed to walk around shirtless. Why canât women walk around with a bra/crop top on?
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If you know if someone is wearing a bra in not. Thats your problem not theirs.
If you are so very uncomfortable with crop tops dont go to your moms for awhile
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You were right. She needed that either way. You remember the show 16 && pregnant? Well thatâs where sheâll end up if everyone keeps holding their tongue. Maybe it could have been done âin privateâ as some sayâŚBUT SHE DIDNâT UNZIP HERSELF IN PRIVATE so the situation was there and you handled it then like it should have been. As for your sisters, tell them the same. They are kids. Under age. And minors. Iâm keeping the language PG to what Iâd really say but as a mother of 3 girls, that type of influence wouldnât be allowed in my home anyhow. Iâm very big on the âWe donât do that here!â
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The child needs to be dressed. Next time I wouldnât make a scene in front of everyone but I would say hey it makes me uncomfortable and leave it at that.
Your rules. She should wear more clothes.
My god who makes up these stupid stories
I agree with you. Everyone wants to bash men for sexualizing the situation, but when you dress inappropriately, you open yourself to that world and that leads to a whole nother situation. You attract that attention when you dress like that, and by her actions (taking her jacket off) you can tell sheâs seeking that attention. I wouldâve done exactly what you did, especially if my family wouldâve taken her in like yours did. Itâs inappropriate. Period.
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I would have said something too or thrown a blanket at her real quick. No one needs to be hanging out in their undies in other folks houses regardless of who is present. Even if itâs just me, I wouldnât want to see all that and it is disrespectful.
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Thereâs two things. Yeah itâs uncomfortable to see a lil girl almost naked yes. I wouldnât like to see my daughters doing that. Of course.
But if the guys entering that house thinks about a little girl undressed, sexualizing her. Those adults shouldnât be going into my home.
We donât have to accommodate or dress ourselves to not make the guys trying to make a move.
Should of been better a private talk. Cause if itâs in your parents house and you only visit talk to your mother. And see if she could talk to the kid since itâs staying at her house. It wasnât your place to do it.
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You couldâve pulled your sister aside and told her how you felt. If the next time you came over and it hadnât changed.
Then you make the choice to go over there.
Personal style isnât going to be liked by everyone.
I donât stay anywhere where I donât feel comfortable. If you feel like you are seeing more than you should. Go ahead and go home.
You are right and Iâm seeing alot of these comments saying (an adult Male shouldnt) when this teenage girl who flat out pulled her jacket off right when u walked in she was asking for trouble and and these women saying all this other stuff people she is (16) underage he has every right to speak about itâŚI am in my 30s and respect myself even when I was 16 I didnt unzip in front of a grown ass man with no bra on I would have embarrassed the hell out of her and your sister why she got a jacket on when it was just her your sister and your mother but u walk in itâs all off u had all rights to say something
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Yes! I believe that modesty and innocence are lost values to kids today. They may not think itâs wrong but we have people who will be happy to sex traffic and sell kids with no provocation. Use a little bit of caution.
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Breast are not for sexual pleasure. So the fact that her wearing a bra or not wearing a bra makes you uncomfortable I feel is on u. However if sheâs flaunting her self for sexual attention and being inappropriate then I would be worried.
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She may not have positive guidance at home, sheâs definitely looking for attention. I would have said something too, who knows, maybe no ones told her how inappropriate she is dressingâŚmight be all she knows. Hopefully you caught her attention and made her think about it. You did the right thingâĄ
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Speaking as a mother of a 15 year old daughter, I would want someone to address it if they saw something off like thatâĄ
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People are sexualized no matter what they wear, stop doing it. People are comfortable in what they are comfortable in, if youâre not comfortable, that is a you issue.
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I think even if she didnât show that your comment effected her⌠it did. She didnât get the attention she wanted, and hopefully will realize she doesnât have to act like that to get guys attention.
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No girl or woman is responsible for how a man reacts or behaves.
He should have had a private conversation with his mother.
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I have spoken up cause it was also my moms house.
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