What does this have to do with the price of eggs? Not even info needed for this group?
?
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You for sure over stepped your boundaries.
No. Not your business.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Was I right or should I have minded my own business?
I think you handled it appropriately. Sheâs staying in someone elseâs home. I dress however I want when Iâm home with my family, if I have guests or Iâm staying at someone elseâs house I do not walk around braless and half naked. Thereâs a time and a place and she should learn how to be appropriate.
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There are consequences for choices. She made the choice, you gave her the consequence. Hopefully it makes her think. Good for you!
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Imagine if he came on here and was like this younger girl exposed her self to me and I fully support and enjoyed it. You all would be calling him a predator and sick individual. Instead he has the proper reaction and you beat him up. Imagine he walked into his parents house, saw she was there and stripped down to his underwear, Iâm sure yâall wouldnât be having the same reaction.
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Definitely needed to be addressed and maybe it will make her think next time she tries that crap. Since her own personal household is unstable right now she is probably just looking for any attention she can get. But she has to know that showing herself off like that is not okay.
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Just shows she hasnât been taught to respect herself. If she had she wouldnât be flaunting herself like that. You were right to tell her⌠Apparently someone needed too!
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I donât think calling her out in front of everyone was the right idea I think you shoulda pulled her to the side and talked to her and found out whatâs going on
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Some will be the same women fighting to be able to breast feed in public and not have to cover your babies face. Stop oversexulizing women in general⌠Especially a teen.
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Good for you. Young girls need to hear this!
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I believe you did the right thing! But maybe when the time is right, talk with her one on one. Maybe apologize for the way you handled it the first time but you are not sorry for what you said. She obviously needs a positive female role model in her life! Good luck!
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You donât know what that little girl has been through. She may have been taught that, thatâs all she has to offer the world. Too often we judge other women when we really need to listen, understand, and build that other woman up so she knows showing her titties isnât the only thing that makes her of worth.
So many grown ass women on here wanna judge and talk down on a child. She could easily be a victim of sexual assault. Yall should be ashamed.
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I agree with the way you handled it. She should respect her body more and not feel she has to show it off for attention. Especially since she was in her bra. Iâve told my friends daughter to put on something else when I was uncomfortable with her showing her breasts to everyone in the house. It was my house and there were teenage boys there. I did not appreciate what she was wearing and I told her to change. Of course she rolled her eyes at me, but I donât care! She needs to respect her body and not feel she needed to show it off for attention.thats exactly what she was doing.
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I wouldnât of⌠I feel like you made it awkward. Because you brought it up as sexual⌠right now that is her home. I donât wear a bra at home, and I definitely wear crop tops at home and have since I was her age.
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Sheâs a kid still mentally but physically a woman. Sounds like she is seeking male attention. She probably thinks she has a cute figure because of previous attention and is using her body to make herself feel better about her life. This will overtime get her into serious trouble or even pregnant because of decisions she could make down the road. Seen it a million times! In adult women too. Anyway, your mom probably should have said something before you had to.
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If she did it when she saw you she may just being trying to get your attention. You may want to sit down with her and tell her that it is not appropriate
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Yes! You did right! One, she needed to hear that it is an inappropriate way to get male attention. Two, you have to protect yourself.
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I think you over reacted. She should be able to wear whatever she would like and what makes her comfortable inside or outside the home⌠If you are not comfortable in her home that she is loving in- donât visit. Or if you really feel the need, then talk to her privately and tell her about your insecurities and may be she may respect your feelings about this.
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I agree with you. I have my 18 year old goddaughter living with us, and I just went rounds with her over similar issues. I have 4 boys (13, 12, 11, and 10) and a 9 year old daughter, they do not need to see her walking around with it all hanging out. It makes me and my better half uncomfortable also, sheâs a baby still to us and doesnât need to show it all, especially in front of the kids. Iâve told her I donât care if she prances around her room in the nude, just please somewhat cover up around the rest of us 
Thereâs a time and a place for everything. You set your boundaries with her, as is your right to do. I donât want to see kids walking around half naked 
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Talk to your mom, she is the adult person in the house. Your mom can sit down and explain to the young girl what itâs appropriate in the house. If the issue has not been discussed with her at her home, she does not have a clue or a standard.
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I work at a high school and is our daily struggle with these teens! We got to a point of not saying anything to them anymore as we the staff get either yelled at by the parents for telling their children to cover up, or administration doesnât do anything about girls walking around underdressedâ:unamused: it has gotten to a point where is very uncomfortable looking at them. And no, is not about sexualizing them! I just donât feel comfortable talking to a student showing most of their skin off! Talking to them has become very awkward 
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I mean u handled it right to a point but there must be more to y she is with ur mom so y not be more encouraging n trying to get to know her n set a good example for her
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You handled it better than I would have let some 16 year old be I. My moms home and act like that I would have sat her in place real quick the first time I see alot saying talk one on one now days you canât with out someone saying she said this did that so yes maâam you done right this lil 16 year olds parakeet stable enough to care and show her the respects she needs as a young girl maybe with you lil sister and mother yaw sit and talk about it
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Okay so theres a difference between dressing that way because thats the style she likes and then dressing like that for male attention, but even at that age she shouldnt be dressing like that. If i was your mom and had younger kids i would tell her while your under my roof youâll learn how to have self respect and learn how to dress for her age.
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Well I wouldnt have confronted her at all, especially in front of everyone, thatâs just embarrassing and awkward for her. itâs not even your house dude, you get no say. Obviously mom the owner of the house is allowing it so you should respect that. If itâs that big of a deal mention it to your mom and see if she can take her under her wing and be a momma figure to her.
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For one she needs to have more respect for your mother, her home and her guest and she definitely needs to have more respect for herself. But sadly these are the kids we are dealing with these days and it doesnât help when their parents are absent.
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It sounds like she might have a crush on you, especially since she stripped down quickly when she saw you, and is dressing that way only when she knows youâre coming. That doesnât make it okay, and its good that youâre not taking advantage of this, I would just ignore it though and maybe just tell her not all men are gentlemen, and to keep that in mind and be ready to defend herself if sheâs dressing that way, because there will always be a creep who has too much to say or try to be grabby, so just to be extra aware and not to take any crap if she dresses like that
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I would have told her the first time I came into my mothers house to put some damn clothes on. If my sisters werenât dressing like that, then she shouldnât have been. I tell my teen age granddaughter to get out the booty shorts because there are people in and out the house at family gatherings. And I donât care who disagrees with me, my house, my rules. The mother should have said something but me as the daughter certainly would have told her especially when she pulled that stunt. That baby is looking for attention and best believe, she will get it and it may not be nice. Kudos to the daughter
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Thatâs kind of a tough one. I understand not wanting to see underage kids in their underwear, but at the same time, it could be totally normal for her at her house. Me being me, I would of said something, but there may be something going on with her. Maybe your mom and your sister should possibly try and talk to her and see if thatâs just how she is or if there is something else going on with her. Idk.
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I can understand you being uncomfortable. You have a right to voice your opinion but I also feel like your mother should have talked to her from the very beginning.
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I am the mother of 5 boys, when you are in my home, you abide by my rules, when I am at your house I abide by yours. Yes, you were right to say something. Your mom should have set rules at the beginning. This girl is asking for head and heart ache.
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Youâre in the wrong. She can dress however she wants.
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It sounds like a teachable moment there. Children need to know respect for selves and others. You did good.
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Bottom line is, (in my opinion, of course) at the end of the day, she is a child, and a guest in someone elseâs homeâŚeven if itâs not the OPâs home it is the OPâs motherâs homeâŚshow some respect (for yourself and your host) people are going in about âshe should be able to dress as she pleasesâŚâ âyouâre the one with the problemâ etcâŚAgain, she is a CHILD! Children do not get/have free reign to wear whatever they choose, nor are they always fully aware of how situations like that could endâŚ.I think itâs being blown out of proportion (by the people commenting, that is) sheâs ripping her jacket off to expose her undergarments for heaven sakes! If the story had went âmy friends brother pulled his pants down to expose his underwearâ yâall would be going in on the behavior of the boy, itâs such a double standardâŚsounds to me that the OP is trying to be helpful honestlyâŚteenagers are extremely impressionable and perhaps OP doesnât necessarily want little sister to think these types of things are appropriateâŚif she was a grown woman this would all be differentâŚbut sheâs notâŚI see it as looking outâŚthe behavior is inappropriate and someone needed to let her knowâŚIâm certain thereâs a reason behind this behavior and thatâs the real issue hereâŚ
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The girl is a teenager, the fact that she got up when you walked in to take her jacket off to me it seems like she might have a crush on youâŚbut yes I think you have the right to say something because she is a guests at your moms house and is making you uncomfortable. Chances are your mom was probably uncomfortable too and just didnât have the heart to say anything. If it was my house and she was not dressing appropriate and walking around in front of my sons half naked I would have said something. And has nothing to do with sexualizing her or her gender, it simply has to do with RESPECT. Which kids now a days lack so much of. If it was reversed and was a boy walking around shirtless and in his boxers I would have said something just the same.
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Giving her the positive or negative attention relating to her clothes will possibly make her act out more if everyone ignores her dress perhaps sheâll stop seeking attention and validation that way. But sheâs seeking out attention cause their is something wrong that needs to be addressed. She needs guidance over disapproval right now.
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If a girl isnât taught modesty then how will she learn what is appropriate and what is not?? Good for you for trying!
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Come on now, we all know right from wrong!
Young children need to be taught
This. Have to respect your self for others to.
Male or femaleâŚ
Seems like the sister does not have to much values either.
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Your mom is the adult in the room and should have laid ground rules way before this happened. They all needed to hear this about respecting themselves and others they made uncomfortable with exposing themselves. Good for youâŚ
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Iâm surprised your mother never said anything. Obviously she didnât let her girls dress like that. Itâs her home and she has every right to expect that guests in her home will present themselves in a respectable manner. The girl can do whatever she wants at her home with her parents paying the bills. Your mom is probably relieved that you said it. Your sister is obviously not mature enough to understand that it is your motherâs home first and foremost.
I think you were right, but maybe you should have said put your jacket back on. Later talked to her in private about how she dress she might need a little mothering. Also have your Mom remind her to dress appropriately while she is staying with her.
Honestly I think itâs about time someone speaks up about how these little girls are dressing itâs very inappropriate and then they wonder why our kids are being kidnapped little girls are looking 21 nowadays I do not agree with it I think itâs so stupid that parents think itâs OK to let our kids be the way they want sure weâre allowed to let our kids be the way they want but weâre also supposed to guide them to be appropriate
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You have a right to feel safe and comfortable in your parents home.
She has a right to dress how she wants sure but not when sheâs in someone elses home making them feel uncomfortable.
I think as long as you handled it politely and respectfully itâs fine.
i may or may not had had the same reaction so Iâm certainly not going to suggest how you could have should haveâŚ. The point is the child has not be taught or learned to respect herself or have confidence in herself to get or have attention without being a spectacle. Boys should not wear their tightie whities around extended family and friends after puberty and neither should girls be in their underwear. Amanda Nolan itâs not much different than yourself being less than dressed in front of your spouses male friends and family members. Respect
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Personally I think that we should stop sexualizing female bodies. I understand why you werenât comfortable, thatâs what was done to us as well. Would you have said anything if a make wasnt there? Iâm not being rude Iâm truly asking. We were taught that men canât help but sexualize our bodies and that we should to, but thatâs not true.
Sounds to me like she is trying to get attention from the male cousin and the other males in the household. Totally inappropriate.
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This girl needs a strong role model to talk with: how to appropriately express herself/style and how to maintain her safety (so does not become a victim of crime.) Perhaps the only way she feels she has value is by the way she looks and acting sexy. Therapist can help her sort her feelings and assist her in building self confidence. Lastly, the mother of the house needs to set clear boundaries.
good 4 you yes, i agree with you100 i dont like seeing guys with underwear showing⌠pull up those pants
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Absolutely. I would also speak to her parents and tell them she is not welcome unless she dressed appropriately.
You were right to call her out, just NOT in the manner you did.
You had to take into consideration if she has had someone to guide her in her up bringing.
Example I wasnt made aware of bras & their importance until I was 13, & I had âbig breastâ from a young age.
I think is all in the upbringing.
Most definitely. Have some respect for the family let alone yourself. As a mom of teen girl same age, I would be on top of that shit.
I would have said something to but as you know women can go topless now although not our culture but they do have the right but just listening to you I think this young girl is looking for attention
Yâallâs comments on here are disgusting. She is a child/teen. Stop teaching these girls that they have to wear certain clothes or dress a certain way. Stop teaching them that men canât help but sexualize them and they should do the same with their bodies and cover up! A human body is just a human body. By dressing how she wants regardless of what she wears, and making herself happy, she is respecting herself. Stop sexualizing the children and teach your sonâs to be better. How dare yâall belittle a fucking child. Yâall disgust me. Teach your children to love and respect others regardless of clothing. Regardless of anything! Treat people and kids with respect. Regardless of her reasons it was not appropriate to handle it like this. We were all taught to sexualize ourselves as children by the older generations and itâs really sad and pathetic. Also how insecure do you have to be that a teenager or child makes you uncomfy? Yikes! This isnât to OP but to the other nasty comments under it. Be better, do better. Also if it is a problem the girl is dealing with then thatâs her business. You can talk to her and see whatâs going on and maybe give some good advice. But these comments arenât it.
Why do the girls always have to change? Maybe the boys should learn to control themselves.
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I would have done the same
Itâs not appropriate what some of these girls wear, Iâve experienced it and it made me uncomfortable too. Tube top with no bra and skin tight shorts. May as well be wearing underwear
I absolutely 100% would have said something too.
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I mean, something needed to be said but maybe not as harsh as that. I dressed inappropriately when i was that age. My tits were always on display. Give me a vs push up bra and a camisole and I was ready for fun. But, i had zero self respect. Like NONE. I had been abused in pretty much every way imaginable and had no help from anyone. When my tits were out I got attention. I liked catching guys staring. Even much, much older men. I eventually got pregnant by a man 20+ years older than me then I married someone else that was 21 years older than me. Iâm only just now starting to respect myself, at 33 years old. If I had someone talk to me the way you spoke to her that wouldâve only made me go harder. But if someone had said something to me and been kind and sincere, that wouldâve been a different story.
Get to know the kid. Be that person to lift her up and let her know she IS worth more than that. She probably has nobody in her corner that truly cares. She probably needs an adult to talk to. There may be much more to her story than you think.
If you have some decent cute/stylish clothes in her size maybe you could loan her some? Maybe her seeing that she can be beautiful while dressed sensibly will open her eyes. Or make a post on a local garage sale page asking for donations for a teen. You might be surprised by how many people offer to help.
Not trying to make anyone feel bad, just offering advice from my point of view. Thereâs a high chance that something else is going on, something much deeper. She might just need a listening ear. 
I think you handled it okayish, the only thing that bothers me is you making an emphasis on her wearing âNO bra.â Like what undergarments a person decided to wear or not wear is really none of your business.
Clothes arenât the problem, uninhibited sexuality, particularly in inappropriate power dynamics is the problem. There is no reason a woman needs to wear a bra while in a place where she should be comfortable. She doesnât need modest shirts. Frankly, she doesnât need a shirt, period. There is no correct length of a skirt.
The problem can be addressed without making it about her body or how she expresses herself through clothing. You can ask that she not make advances at you. You can demand that. You can not choose her clothing for her.
All these moms on here telling you to mind your business are the same ones who will allow their children to wear skimpy outfits. The issue is that regardless of whether you sexualize a child or not SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE IS! Part of fighting that is to stop dressing and allowing our children to dress as grown ass adults when they are not! Regardless of your feelings you are opening that child up to be sexualized by those who do it! I think doing what you did was the best thing you could do because you could be saving her from becoming a victim to those who really donât care. Make your damn daughters where appropriate clothing and make your sons wear appropriate clothing! We are in a world people know and understand is filled with disgusting ass people who would snag her in a second and she is then a victim. Just because some moms like to dress like whores doesnât mean we should allow our teenagers too. Period. Get mad I donât care.
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Itâs none of your business how someone elseâs dresses
Good for u u tell then I would have I did when my friends came around my kids thatâs not cute
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She needs guidance, and you gave her some. Good job.
She may need counseling. Maybe somethings happened an shes seeking attention
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Letâs teach boys and men to control themselves instead of telling girls to cover up.
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Im glad you said something and u had every right to
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I agree with how you handled the situationâŚitâs inappropriate. 
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U def shoulda said something if your parents didnât have sense enough to! I mean COME ON!!!
Definitely did the right thing
Hell yeah you should have said something apparently no one else was
Lol that friend would be finding else where to stay! My daughter will not pick up on such gross habits. You handled it way better than I would
Have
Yes âŚyou did the right thing one thatâs disrespectful to dress that way at your house and anywhere she just trying to get male attention anytime she can get it âŚmaybe sheâs been abused as a younger child or daddy issue or just a plain s*ut but she needed that slap in realityâŚ
I think calling her out in front of everyone was the perfect solution, honestly. If thatâs how they were dressing just because thatâs how they want to dress, then why did she feel the need to hurry up and undress as soon as she saw a boy? She is dressing that way to get attention and apparently no one is telling her that is the wrong way to get attention. If she doesnt like it, she can go back to her parents home while they âsort out their problemsâ and maybe figure out their daughter is developing a problem of her own. 
itâs not her home, she should be more respectful of the people in that home, not be ripping her clothes off at the first whiff of testosterone.
Iâm so scared of the world my daughter will grow up in⌠Weâve all been teens before and if yâall tell me you didnât dress inappropriate for attention and just because thatâs what you like to wear, youâre a damn liar. Teenagers should not dress like that. If sheâs purposly exposing her bra and undies, it needs to be corrected. I donât understand how parent let their teenagers dress so inappropriatly like we havenât seen and lived with the society of teenage and young adult males 
they arenât matured just like teenage girls. I would have corrected it too, and if my daughter brings a friend home that dresses that way; id let her know too that she canât dress that way in my house. Teach our daughters to respect themselves as GIRLS not just the body they have to show off. Damn.
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The op gets to have their feelings as well. You can act or do as you wish but others get to express their feelings well. Best believe Iâm going to say something if your actions make me feel uncomfortable.
Wait
Whatâs wrong with her no wearing a bra ?
You did the right thing.
I think that itâs none of your business and itâs not your house. If your mom was uncomfortable, then she should say something. Just because people dress in something that you may not agree with or wear yourself, doesnât mean that sheâs a shit person. You are a grown adult sexualizing a teen because of her clothing. This is exactly why so many women grow up to have horrible self images and no self confidence and end up in shit relationships because people have trashed them their whole lives about stuff that doesnât even matter. Grow up and at least talk to the girl before making an assumption about her based on appearance.
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If she canât even dress the way she wants to because youâre worried about the m3n âlookingâ thennn them âm3nâ shouldnât even be in the house cause that gives me Pedo vibes
What a f remale chooses to wear is her choice⌠she shouldnât have to change all because of a mf wit a dic 
Thank you for showing me to never post in here unless I wanna be judged by a gaggle of bitches who like to victim blame WHOLE ASS CHILDREN. Iâm out 
You over reacted. Her body isnt sexual because she is a minor. If you feel sexual and awkward thats on you and you need to sort out your own issues. She isnt naked. Her body is covered in the areas it needs to be. Other than that she can dress however is comfortable. I feel like your comments are gross and over the line.
If she were to do something that actually touched you or addressed you then i could understand the issue. If she touches you or makes a blatant sexual statement then you ad an adult are obligated to verbally shut it down.
But if her only fault is you think her clothes are slutty you neednto evaluate why your the one sexualizing a minor.
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Why are you sexualizing a teenâŚstop itâŚitâs clothing. Was her vagina and nipples covered?
What would you say if she came from a nudist family and didnât like clothes AT ALL.
yes you should have minded your own business.
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Ya I feel that you were in the right, no one needs to be walking around in their underwear with the opposite gender around regardless of age
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I agree with you saying something BUT maybe you should have hit it from a different angle. Build up her confidence in herself and teach her that she is more than a body, and she has more to offer the world. Not everyone of course, but more often than not, girls that use their bodies for attention are very insecure in every other aspect of their life, like they feel like thatâs all they have to offer. Maybe a heart to heart would have gotten the same point across without the scene.
Maybe have a talk with her today or tomorrow and tell her why you felt that way itâs obvious she feels she needs menâs attention when she needs to focus on school to better herself cause her body isnât all she has
Leave her body alone. Being uncomfortable with someone elses body is on you. Unpack that.
You did the right thing!
Lizzy Schmidt look at these comments
Maybe donât sexualize fucking kids in the first place.
Glad you said something.
Mini skirts at school wow.
Someone had to say it
Sounds like someone needed to
I wouldâve said something tooâŚ
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You did the right thing. Itâs terrible how kids dress these days.
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Yup! Sarcasm works great!
Teach boys not to sexualize minors, or women for what they wear, not girls that they have to cover up.
Stop sexualizing minors.
If youâre uncomfortable stop staring.
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#ThisThreadReeksOfRapeCulture
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I guess I disagree with everyone. Stop sexualizing woman and teenage girls. If you saw women as people, you wouldnât care about her boobs and bras arenât mandatory - theyâre actually unhealthy and many young women choose not to wear them because they donât have to. Stop telling women what to do with their bodies.