Been there done this worn the tee - shirt u don’t get nowhere putting others first being nice, believe me get out of it while u can because it’s a bully tactic for you to back down no matter what u say or do or suggest it’s all about them always will be and your the bad person for even daring to suggest a bit of space, seriously go it alone u will be better off and happier xxxx
He has to see your 3 kids every damn day, he waits all week to his child and you want to tell him to not see his child so you can have him all to yourself since your kids arent with you? Give your kids to their father and take them whenever you want since you need alone time smh
Im sorry but (in my opinion) you was very wronf for asking! I do not blame him for leaving, all parents would love just one day alone without kids but im sorry life changes after having them and you just gotta get on with it! Im sure he looks after your kids too seeing he lives with you all ? Works both ways, he only has him one day a week as it is, how would you feel if he told you not to have your kids and asked you to let your ex have them full time? I know you are asking for advice but you are basically asking for advice on wether or not you should allow your other half to see his own child that ONE day a week he has him just so you can have a day together, its selfish. But this is my opinion only. Good on him for not listening to you and picking his child, proves how much he loves his kid.
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Just put urself in his place he get his son on weekend u get urs all week days, I just don’t think its fair,
Wrong or you wouldn’t be asking
Yeah. You’re definitely in the wrong. Kids come first. Plain and simple. If you can’t get that then y’all probably shouldn’t be together anyways
Geesh. People are so mean spirited!!! I don’t think it is was wrong for you to ASK. Now if you demanded or told him couldn’t that would have been a red flag, but genuinely I get it. Your pregnant, your kids, his kid, and you just wanted one day to spend with your significant other. He didn’t want to, so there’s that. Maybe you guys should work on your communication, somewhere in that something happened for him to become irate and you to make this post. Don’t listen to these mean aaaa people on here. Good luck on the rest of your pregnancy & positive energy to your relationship!
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“I don’t have space for 5 kids.” Is literally pregnant 
that’s a real man right there 
my point is you already knew he had a son you already had 5 kids if you are taking the relationship seriously
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So you can’t have 5 kids. But you can have YOUR 4. If y’all break up and the kid you are preg with gets treated like that from his new lady you’d be pissed. I’d leave you. Now you can be a mother of 4 by your damn self.
Sorry but you’re wrong.
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Sorry but you are in the wrong!
You should be treating his son as he is one of your own, not wanting to not see him and act like he gets in the way.
Sorry but you knew that you would be taking on an additional child when you met him, along with your own and now you are adding to your family?!
I would never ask my partner not to have his son with us. And yes I also work, as does he, We also have a 10 month old together. We have his son Friday to Sunday then extra during holidays and yes whilst he’s not at school right now he’s been coming For extra days and I’ll be home caring for both children whilst he works those days.
I bet if you ex husband turned around and said I ain’t having the kids this weekend because my parent doesn’t want me too you’d be pissed off!
Kids come first.
Prior to us having our son we have had weekends where we’ve not had his son and that is simply because either his mum had a special occasion that weekend and wanted him with her or we have been asked to go out and planned it ahead with them and his mum but even then that’s as once or twice a year. However, I would never turn around and say oh don’t have him this weekend - that’s just awful
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You are wrong in every since of this! No excuses. Just wrong. How would you feel if your kids dad only seen them once a week and his gf told him not to get your kids so they could have alone time? Smh you’re a parent 24/7 there’s not alone time again until you’re 18
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I love how everyone here missed the part where he’s not even the one taking care of or spending time with his kid when he’s there 
she is while 7 months pregnant and while having three other kids to care for, if he was such a gung-ho dad of the year why is SHE the one doing everything for HIS child while he’s there even? She’s absolutely entitled to a break while she has one from her own children y’all bitches are rude and picked one part of a huge paragraph to bash this woman on.
God I feel bad for his son. I y’all need to break up
But you did ask him to do that… you said don’t take your kid and be with me. I would have picked up and left too. I would never ask my husband to do that. I always ask to take them more often
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Dont marry him it will be worse
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Any other father woulda done it
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You’re wrong!!! End of story!
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You’re fortunate to have a man who actually stands up for his children and wants to be an active parent. That being said, I don’t think it would hurt to have the occasional break from all the kids. How about if all the kids stay with you on even weekends, and the odd weekends, all the kids are at the other parents’ places? That way, everyone gets their respective breaks? Besides that, I do understand five kids being a strain, but you guys made the choices you made to get where you are. Even if your boyfriend’s son weren’t there, you alone will have 4 kids soon. It’s a little late to have second thoughts about having a big family.
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I would have left too. He only sees
him on the weekends. Hes with you and your kids all they time. You knew he had a son when you got pregnant
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Oh Darling I do understand yet I have to say this. I have one child and my boyfriend has three. When we started seeing each other agreement was made that children comes first. We are currently discussing living together and because a friend brought it up I told him that if his kids should want to live with us we will look for a bigger place and make it work. No relationship is perfect. Kids didnt ask to be here. He treats mine as his own and his will always be the same as my own. Even if I do not see them often enough they still get the same treatment and presents as mine do and will I never ask him to give his weekends with them away because I will not take away time with mine. Ps I am a single mother. I dont get to have a break. Best of luck to you.
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Kids come first, always.
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Your in the wrong when your a mother you never get a break. And you knew he had a son before y’all got together you step up to take care of him so you have no right to bitch about it. And he has a right to get mad how could you ask that that’s very wrong he didn’t have to leave but he’s in the right your in the wrong. You know what you got into when you had kids and got someone who had a kid
I think you guys should plan ahead to take a day or two off together where you dont have the kids like a sunday? And if your not ready to merge families with a baby on the way thats a little messed up. You can expect him to prioritize you and your kids if you dont prioritize his as well. Kids always come first. I wasnt there so i dont know the tone you asked him this in. But it seems a little dramatic to just up and leave. Or you could have been rude and he was justified. Again i think yall should plan a couples activity ahead of time. With out asking to leave kids behind.
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You all need to suck dick. Eveyone needs space. And having a new baby is hard. And 5 kids damn . Super mom over there . I feel it.
No you were not wrong in asking. And you explained the point of it, your idea and why very well. He missed what you were saying completely. He sounds a little high strung and maybe not very bright. I’m sorry for u that he acted that way. Hang in there maybe he will get it eventually. If he cares for you. He will try to work with you. If he continues making you feel like a maid and babysitter not considering your feelings of more time together. You might want to give it all back to him alone.
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You were wrong. I’m glad you’re strong enough to seek honest feedback. Once children are in the picture, it means complete sacrifice.
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Ermm… a break… if you hadn’t split from your partner you’d have your kids 100% of the time? And thats when he has his child… which you knew before now. Imagine only seeing your kids 2 days a week and then having someone tell you not to jave them so you could have a break… pretty sure you’d tell them where to stick it.
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I definitely understand where your coming from, I think a lot of people are taking this a little out of context. His child should always come before you but I totally understand what you where saying
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All the things you’re stating you do for his son is called parenting. I’m sure he parents your children as well. I’m sure he was flabbergasted when you asked that his son stop coming while your children live with y’all 5 days per week - talk about a double standard! You are everything that is wrong with women who date men with children and I hope you fix your attitude before you end up raising a baby along with your 3 others primarily alone.
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He gets the kid on Saturday and he works on Saturday, so she is having to take care of the kid and she asked for a day off. The guy was a jerk. He should have listened to her and at least considered her request. Moms need breaks when they can get them.
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You are NOT wrong for asking for ONE day! Good lord. Every person on here is acting like they’ve never needed a break before. I get it girl. You aren’t wrong
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Geez schedule the kid’s non visiting weekend along with when your kids ho to visit theirs problem solved and yes you did ask him to choose as you basically said his child is not welcome.stop having kids
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Yeah its wrong. U should never ask him to not be with his child! IDC how many u have!
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Tbh he did the right thing. If me & my kids dad separated & he only got them one day a week & he said he needed that day to spend with his new gf I would be upset. That one day a week probably means so much to that child. Your time together doesn’t outweigh his sons time with him. Part of being in a relationship with someone with a kid. You shouldn’t even be in a position to choose.
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In the post you stated he works Saturdays, Maine you could have asked to arrange to have the child on a different day during the week or something. It’s tough trying to juggle when you have two different schedules coming and going from the house. Have an on call babysitter as well so you don’t have to give up time if you just need or want time alone. I’m sorry this happened
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Sorry but you sound like a bitch.
I’d stop having kids. It’s his kid
Simply put Yes it’s unfair
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It’s called parenting and requires sacrifice. You don’t just get to pick and choose when you want to be a parent. A date night every now and then isnt bad but it sounds like you asked for him to stop coming on weekends all together. I think he’s right for getting up and leaving. It’s refreshing to see a dad stand up for his kid instead of hearing about the typical deadbeat.
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I agree with him too… always put the child first! That’s his and his childs time together, I get you want time with him but you sacrifice things when you have children and your time alone is one of them!! Stop having kids!!
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You should look into not having more children im not saying it to be mean its okay some women just aren’t built for parenting but that’s when you gott step up be the bigger person
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No you were not wrong, his reaction was not acceptable. In a relationship there needs to be open honest communication and consideration. When all you want is a single day twice a month that’s just for you two your not asking that much, ESPECIALLY if your the main care provider when he is there. It’s not fair to you. Your only human and need some time for yourself and your relationship. Maybe that’s why he isn’t able to communicate with you, because you have t had a day to yourselves. His reaction was bullshit. I agree with you.
I raised 4 kid’s and it’s about not getting a break when you want. That’s what happens when you have children. Sometimes things happened to line up just right and there would be that free time. Hell, my kid’s are all pretty much grown and I have grandkids and they still come first. I used to be so thankful for all them sleeping by 8:30 and being able to watch tv in quiet for an hour. One day you’ll miss them being little and keeping you so busy.
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I understand wanting some time for the two of you BUT never ever put him in a spot to choose between you, not even the littles thing. Because of yes worth a damn it’s always going to be his kid, and you are setting yourself up for dissapointment and a fight.
I see both sides here but do think he over reacted a bit.
Honestly he did the right thing. But ya its a little unfair there is no time for you to he together just you
So wait a minute… it’s ok for him to deal with another mans kids all week? And he can’t get his OWN child for one day 
. You need birth control for one
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I think you could ask him if you could have a Saturday in the future together before the baby gets here… Not tell him not to get his kid! Be glad he wants his kid! Good on the dad!
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Wowzers! A lot of negative commentary here. You are not wrong for wanting or needing alone time, but I think maybe you guys could plan for a babysitter, etc. If you have limited time with his son, maybe get a sitter for one day when your kids are home. Play hookie from work one day while the kids are out. Something.
It is unequivocally important for you to have alone time (together and separate from your spouse) and family time. You can’t fill from an empty cup mama 
I suspect you just approached it wrong. I’d consider apologizing for the negative way it came across and trying to explain that this is stemming from craving some adult time together and not from craving time specifically away from his son. Hope that things work out for all of you and good luck with the pregnancy!
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Good for him. It’s great that he chose his son over you. It doesnt seem like having more children was the best idea if you need “time away from the kids” if it’s his time to be with his son, he should be with his son and you should deal with it. I couldnt be with someone who asked me to choose him over my kids. It just wouldnt happen. Hopefully visitation is smooth between him and your new baby.
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Nope. Not wrong. He “takes his son Saturdays”…when HE is working and you’re left to take care of his child. That’s supposed to be HIS parenting time. Part of why you need a break is because he’s leaving you responsible for his parenting time. Change the schedule to Sunday when he’s home.
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He’s right! You’re wrong he was a father when you met him. Date someone without kids if you can’t love them. Youre describing a chore not a child.
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Find a way to make alone time. He shouldn’t have to give up time with his child. In honesty, I think he did the right thing by packing up and leaving. If you can’t accept his child and you’re going to ask him to give up his visitation time, then you set yourself up for him choosing his son. Sorry, but adult alone time is made around the children and their schedule.
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Sounds like you favor your kids over his. If your going to be in a relationship with someone who has a kid treat them like your own. Don’t expect him to drop his kid that he gets to see once a week. You see yours more ask your ex to take the kids when he doesn’t have his
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If he isn’t using “his days” to spend time with his child, whether that means taking care of needs, wants, attention, etc… then I don’t know how he could say “I’m not choosing my gf over my son”. His son is scheduled days with him for the purpose of bonding and care, if you are the one providing those things, they may as well be “your days” with his son.
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You’re not ready to have a relationship with someone with children. When you took on that relationship you took on his children along with it. He is with your children all the time and then you want him to miss any time he has to be with his child. So childish and selfish!
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I actually applaud him for choosing his son over you. You may not have asked the specific question, but you asked him nonetheless. You should be proud to be having a baby (I’m assuming he’s the father) with a man that would chose his children over anyone.
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His child comes first, he did perfect. Way to go dad. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t have space for one more when you’re already pregnant with another. If you really treated him the same as your kids you’d find a way to make it work, bunk them, or boys and girls rooms but you’d find a way. Also, you could’ve asked him to ask for maybe the Sunday off instead of asking him to not take his son on the only day he gets to have him. Any other day I’m sure could’ve been made more convenient for you both.
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You’re definitely in the wrong. If he accepts your kids you need to do the same. The moment you decided to take on a man with a child, that’s the day you decided to play step mama. I’m sorry but I would have left too.
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You asked a father to not take his kid on the only day a week he gets to see him? Um, no. You could’ve suggested that he asks to switch to Sundays or that he gets him after work but asking him not to see his kid at all is really not okay.
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What happens is you get married, that little boy becomes your stepson, does he ever ask for you not to have your kids, when you get married that little boy might want to live with you how you gonna say no. You need to see that , that little boy loves you, your kids and wants to be part of the family suck it up and treat him well
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So he takes care of your kids all but every other weekend and you can’t take care of his part of 1 day a week? You should really stop having children… or let yours go live with their dad so you can have “alone time”…
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You should be so lucky to find a dad that puts their child first. He sounds like an amazing father.
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What an awesome dad to choose his son for his ONE day he gets him. 
i applaud him.
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Quite selfish aren’t you. He is a dad first. He was 100% on the right. There’s not many good Dads out there that still take their kids.
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I’m sorry but if I’m in a relationship with a single dad. I’m taking care of the kids too. Its a packaged deal.
He had a custody agreement with the mother of his child. It’s that simple.
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Thats actually a really good father since you are just a girlfriend, but i know you were just trying to get some well deserved alone time ,maybe bext time just plan a mini vacation so theres plans and notice. The bright side you know he will be a good dad to your baby
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Wow, I’m not sure you need to have any more kids yourself. But no, you can’t be with someone who has a child and, instead of blending into one big happy family, you favor your own children. Soo many things wrong with this.
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Yes. VERY. His son is your son too the moment that you entered into a serious relationship with him. Your kids are not different from his.
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I would’ve suggested to him picking up his son after his shift on Saturday so that you’re not the one taking care of him. But as far as not having him at all on the weekend, no I have to agree with the boyfriend. But why does your boyfriend take his child weekly on a day he works?
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shes not just a girlfriend. she’s pregnant with his kid. she wasnt asking him to not be a father , she was asking for date night and a break .
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Yes, you were wrong. Choose a day he doesn’t have his and ask someone to take your kids for a day so you can spend time alone with him.
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Sorry but you were wrong, should never ask him to skip on a visit with his son regardless the reason. Kids come first, we kinda know what we walk into when we start a relationship with people who have kids.
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I was in a similar situation when I first married. My husband had a child that he got every other weekend. I worked retail and had to work every other weekend so on my weekends off we had her. Problem was that I either was taking care of a toddler or working, my husband had a weekend free when I worked and he didn’t have his child. I was young, no kids of my own and wanted a nite life with my husband on my weekend off so when I told him to switch and get his daughter on my work weekends, which would give him more one on one time anyway, he tried to manipulate me and accuse me of not loving his daughter. Just pure selfishness on his part. Stick to your gut feelings, don’t listen to the haters. You have a full plate as it is so asking for some time alone is not asking much, and it’s not that you don’t love his son. Every one needs to recharge, don’t let him bully you. Good luck sweetie.
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I would of packed up and left if my boyfriend asked me to do that. You’re in the wrong it’s his kid and his time with him is precious
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Actually you did make him choose. He doesn’t have his son everyday like you have your kids. It’s time to grow up and not be selfish… I would of packed and left too…
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Interpretation is everything. She clearly states that her boyfriends works 40 hours a week with one day during the week off and Sundays. He gets his son on Saturdays. That means she is watching the son on Saturdays while he works and her children are away. Why cant he switch his day to Sunday if she needs a break? Why not pick his son up after he gets off work? Why not get him on Sunday and spend Saturday with her if they have both worked all week? Why not take the son on his weekday off? Everyone told her she was wrong for wanting a break.
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Just like you were a package deal, so was he. You’re not wrong for wanting “alone time” but you are wrong for asking him not to let his son come. You can get a sitter. Is that not his sons house too? Makes me question how you treat his son if you’re not really wanting him there all the time. How would you feel if he put you in a position to choose ??
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He’s a dad first and your boyfriend second. He’s right.
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You’re wrong for that 
its not his problem you don’t have your kids on the weekends … He has a right to have his son weather you like it or not his son comes before you period. Sorry not sorry
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You knew he had a kid when you decided to get pregnant, kids are an all the time thing not just when its convenient for you. Grow up or get a new man without kids
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I would leave too. Kids come first. Whether it’s my kids or his kids. He sounds young too. They do not understand why daddy isnt coming it’s a routine for them. I havent had alone time in 9 yrs. That’s what happens when you have kids.
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Did you know he had a kid BEFORE you got together…if so what made you think he would choose you or anyone before his child? You cant put kids on “hold” cuz you want “alone time” save that for when they turn 18. IMO
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Wait… You want him to help raise your kids… But his is not welcome to stay? And now he can’t come on weekends?
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I have so many thoughts here… and while I see your point… I also always say KIDS COME FIRST ALWAYS… and by saying you don’t have room… that’s not fair. This child is just as important as “your kids”…
I have a step daughter… her dad and I have been together about 1.5 years now, I have a 2 year old who calls him dad and he has a daughter who will be 6 this month. The agreement between her bio mom and my boyfriend is 50/50… well my boyfriend is currently working out of state for several months but I still take her 1/2 the time because it’s so important for her life to remain as stable and predictable as possible and for her to see my son who calls her sister. I am also almost 8 months pregnant with her other little brother and it’s important for her to see that process and just know she is loved by all involved regardless of blood.
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I guess everyone missed the part where she said shes the one taking care of him when hes there… sounds to me hes using her as a babysitter. She just wanted a little day break. Shes probably super pregnant and tired. Smh I think hes over exaggerating… especially since shes doing everything when it comes to children. Yall acting like she said never to get his kid again… he could have picked him up the day before and the day after… or heck… a whole week… she just wanted a full day of no kids… including her own. She didnt single the man’s son out.
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You asked him for one day off from his son or every weekend? If every weekend then you are in the wrong! He was right to pick his child first, what a dad. If you asked for one day off on one weekend only out of the whole year then he’s over the top with his reaction
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If he only gets his kids on a certain day then I feel like you are wrong. If you date him you take all of him. His kid is included in the package. You can have your adult time when he goes to bed.
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He gets one day a week with his kid and you asked him to give that up?
Maybe if you really needed a day off, ask your ex to take yours for the day during the week that your boyfriend works and take the day off work and spend it with him?
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Honestly I see both sides of this. Is there a way one of you could ask the other parent to switch weekends so all the kids are there one weekend and no kids the other?
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So, if I’m understanding correctly, this man works every Saturday but gets his kid on Saturday. He’s off on Sunday and another day through the week as well that he could have his son but, for whatever reason, he doesn’t. He then gets all irate and leaves because she wants some kids free time before the new little arrives. It sounds to me as if a heart to heart, some give and take, and schedule changes are in order, not ditch the entire relationship. He sounds like he’s a “its my way or the Highway” type guy. Maybe its a good thing for her that he’s left
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one weekend doesn’t hurt, and does he know it will be harder to spend time when the baby comes? that’s crazy that he’s willing to up and leave especially with a baby on the way
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FIRST. No you were not wrong.
SECOND. Don’t bother to read the comments from women telling you how you should feel. That’s bullying and the first posts I saw did just that.
THIRD. Remember that little voice inside you, or that gut feeling you sometimes get?Go with it. You know what’s right, you know what you want…don’t ever stop communicating that with your loved one.
You’re doing fine, momma.
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His child should be just as important as your children. Maybe try to schedule visits to coincide with your kids so it would work out better.
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I’m sorry but I’m so happy he chose his son over you. I wish my kids bio dad would have picked them over his gfs many times, but he never has. YOU do NOT come first. His son comes first. He gets them only on the weekends. You guys do have time together while maybe not days off. My boyfriend and I have one child together and I have 2 kids from a previous marriage. He works sunday thru wednesday and I work thursday thru sunday. We only see each other after I get off work. We have maybe a few hours a week together and never without the kids… yet, we are still happy. He gets to spend so much time with all 3 kids, even the ones hes not biologically the father of, yet still calls his. That’s because the kids come before me. As a mom that’s what I look for in a man. I want my kids to come first. They are our priority. I’m so proud of your boyfriend. Apparently you dont even see his son as one of your own children so maybe you should think about that a little.
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Omg why is everyone attacking her? She literally said “this weekend”. Just 1 little break, not every single weekend, not every single day, just once. Maybe he can swap that day for another
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You are wrong. If thats his childs schedule you need to respect that time. He did the right thing by choosing his child.
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If you couldn’t already handle the situation with extra kids in the picture, why would you and he be having a baby??? Sounds like you shouldn’t be having more kids if you’re complaining about his kids.
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If the boyfriend works on Saturdays how is he even spending time with his son? So for all that are bashing this mom,it seems like she’s the one watching the son. She has no problem watching him. Sorry but I don’t think asking him to take a Saturday with her is terrible. Now if she wanted him to give up every weekend then yea she would be wrong. Her story is a little confusing. Is it only one Saturday or every Saturday she’s asking for??
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