Was I wrong to ask my boyfriend not to take his son this weekend?

Once you enter a relationship with someone who has a child then you need to treat their child as your own. You don’t get to choose when it’s convenient for you to parent. Dad made a great decision for choosing his son. children come first %100

I understand needing a break but with kids that’s just not an option. Maybe a better way is maybe see if you can get a sitter that everyone likes and say hey what about a date night and let him decide when

1 Like

“I don’t have space for five kids” says someone who has 3 (soon to be 4) full time.

2 Likes

You people exaggerate !!!
It was just ONE WEEKEND.
All of you act like if she told him to abandon his son forever or something.

Obviously being pregnant is exhausting and it’s understandable to WANT to have a weekend for just themselves.

I feel like your boyfriend just needed an excuse to leave

4 Likes

A father isn’t’ only a parent on the days he has his son.it is incredibly wrong of you to ask him to not take him during the little bit of time that he can. You should think of him and you as full-time parents.

1 Like

So I applaud a man who picks his child over a woman. Cuz my “sperm donor” sure didn’t!
When you made a commitment to this man you made it to his children too. If you didn’t want kids, then you find a man without them. If you wanted alone time, condoms and birth control are effective. These are choices YOU made to have children in your life. If he rarely gets to see his son as it is, then he should have every right to get his son on the days he’s allowed too. You should not stop that. That is inconsiderate and rude on your part to ask him to not see his child.

2 Likes

“Last night I asked him not to take his son at the weekends”

Yeah that’s pretty awful. I would have left also. You are making him choose. It isn’t fair. I understand you are tired and you absolutely do deserve a break but making him sacrifice his Saturday isn’t the right way to do that.

2 Likes

Yes it was very wrong of you to ask. I’m very proud of him choosing his son over you. You knew what you were getting into when you dated a single dad… he should leave you permanently

1 Like

Wow. You lost a good man. He chose his kid over a woman. That’s rare these days. You should be ashamed of yourself. Selfish.

2 Likes

You are :100: wrong for asking. If you needed some time alone, ask for time alone. If you feel you are are the one taking care of his son while you are all together - the conversation needs to be about shared responsibility in a household , not asking for a child not to be there because you feel inconvenienced.

1 Like

Yes because you wouldn’t want him to do that to you. All kids are created equal in a blended family…if it’s your intention on being married and and raising children together then you dont alienate any of the children.

1 Like

You kinda did ask him to choose you over his child. It makes me so mad that women would ask their significant others not to see their children. My sons father had a girlfriend the exact same way guess what they are not together anymore bc our son is waaaaay more important than that as he should be. Girlfriends and Boyfriends come and go but your bond with your children is forever!! How would that baby feel when his daddy says oh I am not gonna get you bc “blank” wants to spend time alone. That would be an insult like he isn’t wanted especially if he’s young and didn’t understand.

1 Like

How would u feel if he said don’t take your kids. The fact that he also only gets 1 day with his son too and you expect him to say no that’s wrong

2 Likes

Totally understand Ur needs. But there probably was a better way of going about it. Ur boyfriend sees his child one day per week. I personally don’t think that’s fair to ask ur bf not to see his child on that one day per week. However, do U have anyone that could look after YOUR kids so U can have a day with just U & ur bf? Any scenario where ur not asking a dad to give up the minimal time he gets with his son would be perfect. :slightly_smiling_face:

1 Like

Also what if you house is a sanctuary for him, or he feels safe there? Maybe he wants to feel apart of the family and that’s why he asks to stay!

1 Like

Your house, your rules dear. You need peace and quiet, you are pregnant and not asking him to cut ties with his son. His reaction was childish and selfish. He must just man up and build his son a house and stop bringing him to your house if he really loves him like he claims.

As for those who are applauding him for his move, no real man should move into a girlfriend’s house and bring children with be it occassionally or not. He should go visit them wherever they stay until he sorts himself out property wise. If things don’t work out between the two of you he will keep on introducing different women to his son. Is that the way fathers should love their children? Come on guys, think about it.

1 Like

I mean… My husband and I have 6 kids (with each other) and we’ve never had a day together without kids… Not in like, 22 years- that’s life.

2 Likes

Being seven months pregnant is difficult. Maybe he could change his visitation time to another day during the week, so that all the kids would be together. I think investing in bunk beds would be a great idea. If you have older kids that need a bigger bed there are full size on the bottom and twin on the top. Maybe his son could come for three days during the week and y’all could be together on Sunday. I just think something could be worked out. Maybe he could take on more home responsibilities while you are pregnant.

1 Like

If you get into a relationship with someone who has children, know they’re not going away no matter how much you’d like them to! They came before you were ever in the picture!! If that bothers you, maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who has kids!! When you have kids it’s no longer about you!!!:purple_heart:

Y’all some evil folks going in on her like that smh… she didnt say she had a problem with his son and it’s not wrong to wanting at least 1 day for yourself or alone time with your significant. He wouldn’t of been a bad father by agreeing just for 1 damn day… he could of communicated with her and he could of easily said he would get him the next day or so…not so hard! She asked for 1 day not a lifetime! If anything she needs to talk to him and they need to work out a better schedule so that she has atleast a day or so for herself especial since her kids are gone for the weekends…try and put her kids and his kids on the same weekend… COMMUNICATION IS KEY!

1 Like

Girl, you’re perfectly fine for asking for time without kids. Don’t let anyone else’s opinions get ya down. You know what you need, and should ask for it and get it on occasion. I’ve been raising my daughters alone (no help from dad or family) for almost 8 yrs. My current bf has 3 kids with 3 mamas, and I ask for my time alone because I need it so I can be the best for them when they are there. Much love and respect to you mama, and I hope the best in your future.

My husband and I have made our children’s weekends the same. This way, they are all together as a family and when they are gone every other weekend, we can be alone.

2 Likes

I’m sorry you feel that way but this is what you signed up for. I think you were selfish for asking him to do that. I would give anything for my ex to be as dedicated to his kids as he is to his son. This is what being a family is all about.

3 Likes

You may not like the answers you got but I hope you read them all and called him to apologize. If a man chooses his kid, that’s a man you want around

1 Like

You were 100% wrong. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you just have some crazy pregnancy hormones going on… but you should definitely apologize to your boyfriend.

1 Like

Maybe try it in a different way next time. Because let’s be honest to everyone who has their panties in a wad over it, we all need time off, and sometimes it’s an off together kind of need, ya know, no kids, idc who they belong to. Planning something in advance that’s special for the two of you but excludes all of the children would be a good way to do it. You’re letting it be known you need just mommy and daddy time and it can be planned around all the children being gone versus picking the easy day you would only have to chuck one kid off, and unfortunately that’s the kid who gets the least daddy time already. Sometimes it’s not what you do, it’s how you go about doing it. Keep your head up, step-mommying is freakin hard :muscle:t3:

2 Likes

Sadly, you are wrong. Think of how you would want your ex-husband’s significant other to treat your children when in their care and treat your boyfriend’s child that way. He is right to choose his child, especially since this is Father’s Day weekend. Many couples work over 40 hours a week and have kids every weekend. If you want a night out, or to be alone, you could offer to arrange it when your kids are home and his isn’t visiting. Do not cut into the little bit of time that they share, especially if he spends all week with your children. It’s right for him to provide as much attention as possible. Sounds like a great dad and one who would also treat your baby and children well.

Wow one day would not hurt. There is a lot of haters on here!!!Sounds like he wanted a way out. Good luck to you and your family.

1 Like

You should never tell someone not to take their kids. If you love him then you should love his son as your own too.
I am proud of this dad for not taking that and leaving.
You need to realize the decision you’ve made. People have had 5 kids in 1 bedroom houses and continue to today. It’s not about the house size, it’s about the love.

I am a step-mom as well… I have at times felt that way inside, but you have to think of all he does for your children, too. And remember moms and dads r not the same… you would want him to treat your children as his own, likewise- u treat his son as yours. Just be yourself when his son is there- be YOU. I know you may sometimes go out
Of your way to make sure his son feels comfortable. But, kids grow up so fast, don’t push the innocent child away… you could ask to see if they can switch this Saturday for another day of the week tho. Just an idea if you feel you really need a break or plan time for u and your spouse… see if you can swap a Saturday night for 2 days in a row throughout the week, or for Friday or Sunday, etc. good luck… you guys are expecting a baby together You+Me=We …all children included. Best wishes for your Blended family!!

So what you are all saying is that parents shouldn’t have their kids when they are working ? What about his sons mom ? I’m sure she works during the week and she has him all those days . If you as his girlfriend don’t want to watch his child that’s one thing , then tell him that . But don’t ever ask him to give up his parenting time . Whether he works or not , I’m sure he still spends some time with him after work . Those few hours are precious .

No matter what when you let him move in you agreed to this schedule. You agreed to watch his kid on Saturday while he worked. You knew what you were getting yourself into. To take it out on an innocent child is DEAD wrong and to ask him to not take his child just to have alone time is selfish. When you are parents you don’t get a break or time off just because you ain’t feeling it that day. I am beyond disappointed

1 Like

Me and my husband have 3 kids, but never in our 19 years together, pur eldest is 11 yo now, that we come first before our children…every weekend is family day it means we will choose the kids over anything else even our own night date, you should be proud of your man because he knows who to choose, for me I’d rather choose my son over anybody else.

1 Like

Good for him on leaving!!! If you choose to get into a relationship with someone who has kids you accept that those kids come first all the time

2 Likes

If my boyfriend asked me not to have my kid time, I would be out. That’s not fair to ask of him, honestly. I would never even consider asking this of a man with kids. Ever.

1 Like

Jerk!
No really y’all should have just communicated a little more.
I know lots of blended families that have their visitation on the same schedule for a variety of reasons.
He should see that his pregnant girlfriend is struggling, tired or overwhelmed and if he does not see it then good communication requires you to speak up in kindness and love.

You said you are pregnant (and I supposed the baby is his), so you are blessed enough to know how he loves his child coz that would manifest how he would love your child. His children over anyone. That’s awesome! My ex prioritize himself over his children. He doesn’t even provide for anything so I’m practically raising my kids alone. One thing, he already have child when you had him so learn to love his child, as well. Same thing, he will fully accept your children, too. Live harmoniously with him dear.

Nothing wrong with having a baby moon! You asked for one weekend out of the entire year! That’s nothing. And if you feel the need to have a day with you and your man is because you need it. You are entitled to feel that way mama. Don’t let all these ladies make you feel bad. If he doesn’t come back then he doesn’t care about your feelings. I’m sure you love that little boy and just wanted one weekend of peace. Big hugs

I see a lot of children have commented on this post!!! . She already said SHE cares for her boyfriend son. Shes heavily pregnant and wanted one day alone before THEIR baby arrives… What the hell is wrong with that… some people seriously…

1 Like

Why don’t you give up your own damn kids for a week?? Seriously? How would you feel if he said that about your kids???

When you’re a mother you don’t get breaks. And if you want one, find a babysitter. Don’t ever ask a for him to give up time with his while he is taking care of THREE of yours!

1 Like

Kids come with the relationship. But he does sound like he didn’t even try to discuss anything. But me and my boyfriend had a similar issue recently. His son is her fill time. I watch him along with my own son. I love them both equally. They definitely act like brothers lol well my son stayed at Grandma’s last night so his son wanted to sleep in out bed. I was okay with it but asked if he planned on taking him to his bed after a bit. He said he didn’t know. I couldn’t sleep because he kept moving and couldn’t face him since I was afraid of getting kicked or anything in my stomach. I ended up getting upset and going to the couch bit an hour later (midnight) I went in the room and tried my best to slide him over dad to make him walk to bed. We had an argument over text earlier (he was at work)

Yea… not cool. Kids don’t ask to be born, and you can’t decide when he gets to come. You are blessed to have a guy who puts his kids first. He will do the same for yours. :two_hearts:

1 Like

Well he is not home on the day he has a visitation with his son than to me he don’t really care to being with because if he wanted to spend time with his son he would make damn sure that he has that said day off or ask to switch visit days. Honestly I don’t blame you for asking. I am a mother or 7 soon to be 8 3 of which were my fiance’s from a previous relationship and one that is their half sibling that we adopted because she was going to end up in the system and we wanted the girls to know her half sister and I have one from a previous relationship and we have 2 going to be 3 together but I get wanting alone time and thankfully we have family that make that work for us. But I do get it you need alone time and you need you time because a relationship won’t work without getting it. So tell him you weren’t making him choose just simply if he is going to have a visit with his son than to make sure he is home as well so you are not doing all of the work by yourself while he is not home.

2 Likes

Yes your wrong and sound a bit selfish, if i was your boyfriend i would take a hard look at the relationship with you. He did the right thing and choose his kid over you, what any good parent should do.

1 Like

He gets his kid one day a week… of course he is angry!

They are a package deal. So, yeah, if hes living with you, you take care of his kid when needed, cook for the kid, clean, etc. Whatever you would do for your own kids. Since you are in a relationship, you are a parental figure for that child.

If you need a break, okay that’s fine, but if it’s his day with his kid, then it’s his day with his kid. If you want a date night, find a babysitter for a couple of hours, dont just tell/ask him not to get his kid

1 Like

The son shouldn’t have to ask if he can live there; it should be an automatic yes. I get that you’re pregnant and things are overwhelming at times. But if you say you don’t have room for five kids and are about to have another, that ain’t right. Make room for them all, or stop having them. Sorry but not sorry.

1 Like

When you took him to be yours … You also took his child as well… How dare you complain about cooking and cleaning for that baby ! Sounds like he should have left a long time ago.

2 Likes

So so wrong. We all need a break but that’s part and parcel of being a parent you ALWAYS need a break but never get one. He only gets his son for a small portion of his life so that should have never been asked. I would understand more maybe if you was planning a special weekend away and wanted to maybe change the days. You knew when he had his son before he moved in it shouldn’t change because you’re tired. If you needed a break why didn’t you ask him to take the little one out for the day just the 2 of them

I asked my man to change his schedule for similar reasons. But I waited 3 yrs until asking. I also made sure to approach him very carefully about it and gave him the offer that if he doesnt want to change it then he needs to utilize some day care like he did when we first started dating… long story short he changed the schedule

1 Like

I would plan weeks ahead of time that we would not take my husband’s son. Because we use to get him every weekend and we both needed us time for our relationship. I thank God my husband is a man of God a knows how we need time for ourselves for our relationship to grow stronger, even parents that are married and have kids need their time. If he left then he is choosing his child over u then the relationship isn’t that strong. Sorry but I are not wrong to ask for a weekend for just the two of u

Thats a hell of a man to choose HIS kid over a girlfriend. You obviously need help asking him,not to take,his,child. Kudos to him. I would have left too

2 Likes

Welcome to
parenthood…I know it sounds cheesy but those are no longer options sometimes…and only seeing his son on Saturday is not a lot in a child’s eyes…not judging here but ask yourself if you ex’s new spouse was the one asking and writing this…would you be ok with it? Do not take a child’s time with his dad away so “you can spend time with him” …you live with him and see him every day…his son does not!

1 Like

She didn’t ask him not to take his child because he’s working during that time and she has to care for said child, she asked him to not take his child so that she could spend time with him. Nonsense. she met him and entered into a relationship after he was a father, she should have thought about that before moving further. She should be thankful that he takes his role as a father so seriously considering she’s pregnant with his child! Maybe a date night with her man is a better solution. It doesn’t say he has the child over night, just on Saturday that means they have Friday evening, Saturday evening, or Sunday morning.

1 Like

I wonder what your reaction would of been if he would of asked you to leave your kids an extra day with their dad since HE wants a day away from your KIDS.! I can see where you’re coming from but thats fucked up that you request it when he only sees his kid 2 days a week yet you spend 2 days away from yours.

1 Like

Kaylee Wilson this relationship doesnt sound like it would’ve lasted much longer. I don’t get why this lady is so upset that she has to take care of her boyfriend’s child if she wanted childless date nights based upon her ex having her children on the weekend why did she even get with a guy who already had a child?

1 Like

He did the right thing, by leaving. You don’t ask someone to choose you over their kids… especially when it sounds like he barely sees him. Completely unfair!

1 Like

Sounds like this lady doesn’t need to have any kids hers his or theirs. She should not be singling him out bc he only has him on the weekends and yes she has to care for him. That is what she should do. He is right for leaving hopefully they can make it ok for their child

1 Like

I can totally agree with him choosing his child over you. However, if your kids are not there, and HE is not there and he expects you to care for the child in his abscence. May be a different story. But it sounds like he, dad, will be home this time around…

Dad is right. She never should have asked! I get it your tired and want to spend time together… but you made him choose between his child and you… easiest choice ever! Kids come first. He only sees his son on Saturday how could you take that away?! Just tell him that you’re taking the weekend off instead, so he has to do cooking and cleaning

1 Like

Everyone needs a break every now and then, so ignore the negativity- assuming you’re a great mom in need of some adult time. I totally understand, like a “date night.” Unfortunately he took it the wrong way (assuming again) so now you have the entire weekend to do what you want, if he doesn’t come back but if he does maybe he can leave for the day with his son…maybe take his son fishing. Although it is Fathers Day this Sunday, maybe that’s why he’s hurt.

1 Like

I agree with everyone that’s saying she’s wrong, but what if she had asked him to pick him up a little later in the night, like around 7pm so that they could maybe have a little time together alone. Would that have been better? I’m sure his child mother enjoys the little “me” time she’s getting. In her mind she wasn’t trying to be selfish, she just wanted some time with him.

All of you calling her a bad mom n saying he chose his kid of her. As a step mom n mom of 4 I totally get where shes coming from specially when pregnant. Moms need a break and when we take care of everyone and everything 24/7 we need some 1 on 1 with our spouse or bf/gf whoever you are with. She didn’t say he cant see him again she does t say it’s me or the kid. She asked for 1Day to have 1 on 1. and shes right once that baby’s born there is no more alone time.
I’ve asked my husband to change a weekend so we have no kids and have time to focus on each other our relationship n being a couple not just mom n dad

1 Like

Yes you were wrong. Moms (parents) dont get breaks, they dont get to choose, and they do not, not, show up when they are expected by their children. I would have done the same thing he did. Now you will have all the peace and quiet you want every other weekend when your kids are gone. And you are lonely.

Maybe this “great” dad should be the one watching his child on Saturdays then. As it seems he isnt home or taking care of his child but expecting his 7 month pregnant gf to while shes on her day off from work… kind of seems unfair. Maybe shes fed up and could have asked differently. Maybe a why dont you try and get him on your day off in the future so I can have a day off and relax and that way you’d have more time with your son. But same point… not her responsibility to always watch his son while he has him… and doesn’t seem like hes spending much time with his son that day so maybe he should plan on having him on a day hes off…

1 Like

I think y’all are being a little harsh. I think sense her kids are going to be gone and she is 7 months pregnant that this mommy has a right to want some alone time with her man. Especially if she is the one watching him on Saturdays and extra play Days. Couples sometime have to take a time out for themselves or you loose your relationship it just becomes a routine, and that’s how a lot of relationships end up ending every couple should take at least 1 night a month for themselves.

I think you both need to have a conversation and clear up what you meant. If you are asking for 1 Saturday then he is overreacting. Everyone wants one day kid free and your pregnant. What I heard is he is less than 50 percent involved when his child is with you two at your house and you wanted to rest your swollen feet and not ignore the baby he nearly neglects each weekend. Do you girl, you might have dodged a bullet. IJS.

1 Like

:joy: I love co parents that complain about never having a break from their kids, but they are only there for half time or less. What do y’all think married couples do with kids in the home 100% full time… it must me nice to have an ex husband lol

2 Likes

Maybe it was the way you phrased it that made him feel like he has to choose. From reading what you posted, I probably would have taken it wrong as well and been upset. Kids should come first the majority of the time, that doesn’t mean breaks aren’t allowed. Perhaps you should see about having all the kids the same weekends, or at least seeing if a grandparent (or another trusted adult) can watch his son when he works, at least occasionally, so you have time to rest.

1 Like

Do you cook and clean for your other children? Really whats one more mouth to feed at that point.
If you woukd have asked him to switch up some days, so he still got the same amount of time, I coukd see that.
But asking him not at all on the weekends?
Smh
Idk if it would have worked for yall anyways if you already “dont have space” for his son.
As a step parent, you make space.
In your heart and your home.

1 Like

While I see what everyone is saying, (mom of four) you don’t need to feel guilty for needing a break. Maybe go another route tho. Like going to get your nails done…or hair done. Maybe even grocery shopping by yourself. Something for you to do alone. I hope you don’t feel guilty for needing some off time. :heart:

2 Likes

Shiiit. I’m married with kids and I agree with her. She wasn’t asking to cut all visitation. She’s trying to nurture the relationship. He sure left easily though…

1 Like

You’re so WRONG! I’m so glad this man picked his child over you. Sorry but you don’t get days “off” when you have kids. Find a sitter or have a relative watch your kids for a few hours if you need a break to have alone time.

1 Like

If you’re not okay with more kids or another kids schedule, find a man with out kids. I’m sure there are times he would like a break from you kids too but it doesn’t work that way.

1 Like

You’re not wrong for asking…mature adults have questions and mature dialogue…why was it so easy for him to pack up and move out over a simple question would be my question

2 Likes

Ooof, yes you were wrong. You should apologize for even asking him that. When you and him got into a relationship, I’m assuming you knew about his son. I get that you’re tired and want to spend more time with your boyfriend, but you can’t get in the way of your boyfriend’s time with his son.

1 Like

Evil step mom in the works. Id drop you too and then take my child from you when its born. You sound evil!

5 Likes

Yes you were wrong for asking! He only gets him once a week as is! How can you as a mother want him to not spend that time with his kid? If you’re in a relationship with a parent then you’ve just gained more children and you should treat them as such!! Kudos to him for his decision and for making his child his priority

Seriously!!! If he only gets the kid on Saturdays and you asked him not to take him, then you ARE asking him to chose. And as a stepmother myself I’ve actually fought with my ex because he didn’t want his kids at times. They are not a choice!!! They’re our children and I’m sorry but once you’re a parent, you don’t get breaks!!! It’s a FULL TIME JOB!!! Wtf…

1 Like

You’re not wrong for wanting or needing time with him alone but just in the way you went about it. My ex boyfriend and I had children from previous relationships and his only come every other weekend. So we got a babysitter for one night every other weekend when his wasn’t there. Mine lived with us and he took care of them while I worked so it was only fair to do it this way. Hope you all can talk it out.

Rude!!! If u can’t handle an extra child in your home 4 days out of an entire month than u damn sure shouldn’t be having another baby! Since you have your own children all but every other weekend… maybe you should get a sitter for an evening for your own kids instead of cutting into his one day a week visitation! Did you ever consider his sons feelings and how that would make him feel not getting to see his daddy on his scheduled time because you want a break from kids? U have made yourself sound very selfish. :100::woman_facepalming:t3:

2 Likes

Sorry but it does kind of sound like you’re asking him to choose. Saying you asked him to not get his son on weekends. I would have left you too! How would you feel if he asked you to not get your kids? Sounds like maybe you shouldn’t have anymore kids, if you’re going to treat his son literally like a stepchild. He should be treated the same as your children, and no less!

1 Like

You are wrong…you knew what you were getting into…when you have kids there is no more me time…if his son comes on that sat. Ask baby grandmother if she can watch him for 2 hours while you 2 go out to have dinner…that would be your quality time…

1 Like

Also just real quick, let’s say you two break up for good and due to schedules he’s only able to take the baby you guys have together 1 day a week, and he gave up that time to go spend it with a girlfriend he lives with and sees everyday, how would that make you feel? How would that make you feel for your child?
You need to think about what you are asking of him and why he reacted the way he did.

1 Like

Well the fact that he puts his child first makes him a good father. When you date a person with children you have to understand they come first. If you can’t handle that he takes care of his child, then you shouldn’t be with him. He did a good job leaving, I would have done the same!

Everyone saying good father blah blah and this lady has a child of his too not born yet and just abandoned it and she just asked for some weekends if .He can Also adjust the days as well .I don’t think your wrong maybe try saying in a way he can possibly understand your view

1 Like

wrong! He is that childs father and both need to spend time together!

1 Like

I’ll never ask my boyfriend to not take his child, I would ask if they can spend alone time with their mimi. I love him because hes a good father. It comes with being a dad. We hardly ever get a lone time but I’ll plan it so that my girl and his girl are occupied with activities and their mimi will be over to spend time with them. I understand where you are coming from. If you love him. You have to love with his kiddos. You always want him to choose your baby right?

The second you asked him NOT to take his kid for the weekend you made him choose between you and his son. Soon as you make the choice to have children the time alone thing is truly out the window. You cant even go to the bathroom alone. You were soooo in the wrong for even asking

1 Like

Yes you’re wrong. You stated he has Sunday’s off, so if you are child free this weekend and he only gets his son Saturday’s then you guys can plan to spend Sunday together (unless I misread something). Don’t ever ask a good parent to choose time with their child vs you. If you guys want to plan a weekend together then plan it in advance.

If you are the one taking care of him and he is not ,No I dont think it was wrong ,And if he cant take care of one .He not taking care of hers ,And they are not married ,sounds like he was just looking for A babysitter.Does he take care of your children ?

1 Like

I think the dad did the right thing. They are, and should be, a package deal! She made it pretty clear her kids and their baby will be more important than a child she didn’t give birth to.

I think this is a BIG misunderstanding with a lot of comments here stating she was having him “choose his son over her”… READ CAREFULLY AGAIN her comments: “I didn’t ask him to pick one or the other… in a few months, we’ll have no time alone when the baby comes.” She also states “just need the break some weekends.” So it doesn’t sound it’s an ongoing request, she also states “I care for his son when he’s not here, also if he wants to stay an extra day to play with my kids.” So ALL those “extra days” don’t count on her behalf, to ask for what it seems JUST “one day” off to be together? I believe in the power of compromise, flexibility, compassion, understanding = LOVE I’m sure if they truly love each other, they could maturely come up with reasonable alternatives instead of jumping to these conclusions and misunderstanding/judging her request… But most of you have here too but without “his” viewpoint, I can’t say or justify anything she says… Maybe you should try to explain to him, that you’re sorry, if he misunderstood you, that wasn’t your intention and to try to explain again your request with maybe asking him if there are any other alternatives that could be considered… =/ If that doesn’t work, it sounds like, he may be just getting really nervous or overwhelmed with the situation, if NOT willing to make the effort, to make it work by looking for this as an excuse to justify his action of “leaving”?

1 Like

He’s excepting your 3 kids.
I feel like whether he moved in with you or you moved in with him; one of you uplifted you’re old life to combine it with the other. Therefore, it’s YALL’S home. So if your boyfriend moved into a home that didn’t have room for his kid; shame on him… but it sounds like there’s no shame for him at all. More so, shame on you. He’s excepting your 3 kids to live in YALL’s home. I would leave anyone who made me question whether or not my children are welcome where I am, that includes the other parent…

2 Likes

How would u feel if your ex told u he is not picking tour kids ip cause his current girlfriend wants time for him when he only gets to spend the weekends any way with him .let him be a dad get your time at night u make time i have 5 kids 1 on the way a grand child on the way and we still get our time hire a baby sitter on weekends for a few hours some small things

1 Like

Y’all give her a break ffs she’s coming to this group humbly asking for advice… Is this a mom advice group or a mom shame sesh?!?

1 Like

If he only has them 4 days out of the month then he should absolutely not give up his time. That means he should not be working while he has them. It doesn’t sound like he is actually spending that time with the child.

1 Like

If you want a date night then find a babysitter for a couple hours. He shouldnt have to choose.

1 Like

He sounds like a great dad to me. Maybe you should have just asked to get a babysitter for a few hours.

1 Like

He could have just said no instead of leaving . He obviously didn’t care about her to begin with.

3 Likes

You are definitely in the wrong. Asking someone to give up time with their child is selfish. You came into this relationship knowing he had a son, so you should respect that his son comes first. I’m quite impressed with him for packing up and choosing his child over anyone, great dad!