Parenting is hard enough without the hate from other parents. Come on people.
There is NOTHING wrong with needing a break. Believe it or not, parents mental health is important too. I did the single mom, no breaks for 10 years. Their dad came back into their lives and I have every other weekend to myself. I am a better mom now. I’m a happier mom.
You know what you’re getting into, but you don’t understand the struggles until you face them. Some struggles are a lot harder than you expected. People cherry coat parenting. It’s hard.
It sounded to me like you were asking him to not take his son at all anymore, period. You didn’t suggest an alternative, or that it should be just a very occasional thing, having a day for just the two of you. If you are feeling overwhelmed by caring for his son, that should have been a different conversation. Like, “step up and care for your son. It’s not my job”. Instead, it sounds like you asked him to choose. He chose.
Taking care of your yourself as a mother is exteamly important. If you don’t care for yourself you can’t care for your children. It’s important to care for your relationship as well. It feels wrong but it’s not. People will make you feel guilty for doing it or shame you for doing it. But when you constantly on and taking care of others it becomes overwhelming. Your mental health goes down. Its okay to feel and put yourself and your relationship first. I will be the odd ball out on this one.
It’s all in how you ask. Did you say hey maybe before baby comes we can spend a day together alone?
I’ll tell you what my aunt said to me when I married my husband with two kids of his and three of mine
“He who loves the tree loves the branches”
No more his or hers kids
Your kids
His time with his child is already limited and you go and say some bone-headed thing like that? I understand you need some time with your bf but asking that was NOT the way to do it. You can have alone time when the child goes to bed. You’re 7 months pregnant, what you tryna do, go ice skating? Order out and chill at home, have a conversation over dinner or watch a movie. Or if you need to get out the house, you can still enjoy time with your bf and his child together. Be understanding of his situation and not just yourself. If you need help around the house with the kid, say something.
Relationships are temporary. Children are not. I would never ask my husband not to see his son. Kids come first. Above ALL else.
That little boy is a major part of who he is and I am very proud of him for walking out the door. Why don’t you plan on ditching your kids to “make time”. Wake up you get into a relationship with a single parent you accept them fully which includes their children. Selfish is what you are
I don’t think you was wrong I mean for one weekend to have alone time I think is fair
I understand you. You weren’t asking for much just one day. We all need a break every now and then and especially you being pregnant. A lot of the comments make it seem like you’re a horrible person for asking for a break which is not true. He should fix his schedule and be there when his son is there. The child needs quality time with his dad not you and you’re already hands full with your own. That was selfish of him. Maybe it was expressed in a wrong way. Definitely need to talk it out. Good luck
Some of these people are brutal. I understand him wanting to take his son especially since its fathers day weekend. I would have asked him if they could have a boy adventure day outside of the house to give you some alone time. I understand it’s hard to get time alone but asking him to give up what little time he has with his son I wouldn’t say is the answer.
Wow. That Dad ROCKS! She is lucky he will be the father of her child so at least the kid has one parent that will put him/her first. She sucks.
This woman is screwed up and selfish for wanting her man to pick her over his own flesh and blood. Good for him. Girl, after 3 kids and one more on the way, alone time is gone for now. Duh
Even tho it didnt say it in the letter but she may have ment not that she is so far along in her pregnancy. Toward my last month my husband didn’t have his children on the days he wouldn’t be there to allow me to rest. She said on the weekends when her children were gone also.
Good for him! When you choose a partner that has children, you choose the children as well.
I think he was definitely in the right. How dare you ask him to not see his son. Why don’t you ask your ex to take your kids and then you have alone time. I’m proud of him!
I agree with him , so if one more to care for is to much an you need a day off why are you having a baby to add to the others
Can he switch his day to Sunday since he works all day? At this point even when he has him on Saturdays he is not actually spending time with his dad. I dont think that is unreasonable to bring up as an option.
All the kids should be treated equally. If you don’t have time energy for his son just now how are you doing to manage when baby comes as then his son will need to spend as much time as possible with his sibling.
This is his child, his responsibility, and it seems you are taking care of his child more often then he is. Why is he taking care of his son on Sat when he is working and you have your kids and his. Does he have a court order that specifies Saturday.? If he is off on Sunday then that should be the day he spends time with him when he is home. He will most likely be back because who is going to take care of his son on Saturday since he works. He needs you for that.
now I don’t think he should have just walked out. if you two could have did a different day. like the day he has off during the week or on Sunday. but Saturday probably worked better for everyone else I’m sure. I understand you wanting the alone time maybe you could have asked to move hos day to Sunday one week so y’all could have Saturday together. that’s if he does come back.which you two have a baby on the way. I’m guessing he will
First of all he puts up with your three kids period. He is having a baby with you. You expect him to deal with your kids 24/7 but you don’t want to help with his kid. You are not doing the right thing. I can understand a day alone but how about you ask your x to take the kids on a day when he is off mid week and have an evening alone. Geez I’m disappointed in this question.
Wow. Y’all are seriously mom-shaming here. His kid comes first. I understand that you may need a day, so you should plan it with a sitter, etc. but not at the expense of his child. Also, if his child isn’t someone you can love as your own maybe it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship.
As far as the name calling and other ridiculousness goes, some of y’all need to chill. Everyone has different circumstances.
You are most definitely wrong here. You knew he had a child before you moved in together. As his partner, you help with his child, as he helps with yours. If you don’t have room for five children at home, you shouldn’t be having another baby. Period.
You asked him not to take his son on the weekends, plural. So, when should he see his son? Cooking, cleaning and caring for your collective children… that’s what mothers do. Parents don’t get to take the weekend off. You don’t get to pick and choose when to be a parent. If alone time is so important to you, why do you continue having children? It sounds like you’re inconvenienced by all children, including your own
If you want a day together, why don’t you get a babysitter for your children one day/evening, instead of asking him to give up his already limited time with his son?
Children should always be the #1 priority! When you choose to have kids you give up your rights to alone time unless you have a sitter.
That is extremely selfish of YOU!! he gets to spend one day a week with his child and you want to take that from him and his son so that YOU can have a day with him when you have 7 days a week to see him! Kudos to him for choosing his child!!
I can see both sides of this. If the love is there then i would think a compromise would be easy enough to find. People are ignoring the fact that she mentioned that HE moved into HER house and she said there isn’t enough room. If he was a real man he would find a way to 1. Get a bigger house so they can blend their family better 2. Stay and talk like an adult bc they have a child on the way 3. Rework his schedule so that he has more time with his son that he is saying is so important him but seems to only want at his convenience. She on the other hand could probably work on her delivery. Blending families is hard and takes a lot of work from all sides. Have mercy on this woman. Do y’all remember how emotional and hormonal you were while being pregnant?
I am sorry, I don’t mean to sound rude. But yes, that is totally wrong. He had a kid before you got together, and you knew the visitation schedule, yet you decided to be with him for it. Is he only gets to see his kids 2 days in the week, you are going to make him miss out on it? If anything, you should feel great that he is showing you that he will put his child befofe anything. It is not his/his child/nor his existence fault that you don’t have your kids this weekend.
Your being selfish. Good for him for leaving you. Now when he takes the baby on his scheduled days… you’ll have time to go look for your next baby daddy.
Stop mom shaming her! All she asked was for some alone adult time! She is not selfish!!! Yes he’s an amazing person/ father and should put his kids first. All she wanted was some alone time.
You’re not wrong!! It’s one 1 day like every relationship needs a day that they can spend together… is it wrong he thought you were asking him to pick you or his son yes because that’s what he has in his mindset… my husband and I both have girls from our past relationships and we both agree that we need 1 day for us to get away and enjoy ourselves… it doesn’t mean we leave our children forever or pick sides no!!! As a healthy relationship’ marriage we need our 1 on 1 time
I don’t think you are wrong. It is definitely ok to ask for one day to be alone without kids. Just remind him that you didn’t ask him to choose, you just want a day of alone time then everything goes back to normal. Honestly, it’s good for a relationship to have adult time once in a while.
Also. Please read guys. It’s not four days. She said he gets his son on Saturdays and he sometimes stays an extra day (Monday) to play with her kids. Because remember she has weekends off…
You were in the wrong. Seems like a great guy. He wants to see his son, alot of ‘fathers’ don’t even care about their children. That child asked to live you the both of you, I would have been esthetic! & found a way to work it out with room!
He only sees his son a couple days a week, in this case you are wrong, your kids are with you except weekends , you can’t ask him to give up what time he does ha e with him.
Kids always come first. Wow, can’t believe you would ask a father to do such a thing. I’m sorry the two of you are bringing a child into this world together and I feel sorry for his son that you would even consider to ask him not to come, or that there isn’t room for him to move in. Sure hope your BF finds a much more deserving woman to spend his life with
You don’t question the living space for your own kids, it’s sad that you are about to become one big family but you don’t seem to see his child as your own Alone time is one thing, but not having space for his child is a very different story. You would be very hurt if it’s the other way around
I don’t feel that suggesting a weekend change is wrong, but if it’s not possible then you pretty much have to respect a man that wants to see his son. Comprise is key, and it’s be good to have some father/mother bonding time with the new baby. I’m sure if you present it in the right way, as well as go out of your way to blend the family when all children are present, that there will be a solution you can all agree on.
I understand what you were trying to do and sense his reaction was so strong I think you just found something out about him that you might not have known. If you get back together with him from then on if you’re not gonna have your kids on the weekend and his child is coming over take the day for yourself go somewhere you want to go without him that way you will have some rest and some me time. I think it’s wonderful that he loves his child and wants to have time with him when he can I also think that he took that quite wrong and very selfishly. I am honestly not sure how I would handle that if I was in your shoes good luck.
I think he’s in the right here. Way to go Dad. He shouldn’t pick his girlfriend over his kid. And in a way you’re asking him to loose some of the only time he gets with his son to spend it with you. So yeah…
It’s good to sort those things out before you get married. No one’s wrong. Everyone has different priorities and sometimes they don’t mesh
You’re an ass for even asking him not to take his kid the only day he gets to actually see his kid
Seems selfish to me that you would ask him to not take his child for the weekend. First and foremost he is a Dad.
I think when your dating someone with kids, they come as part of the package. Yes we all need breaks yes we would like alone time but I dont think I could ask my boyfriend to not see his kids for one day. I’m lucky I get to see mine everyday.
Imagine if it were your ex, and he told you last minute that he wasn’t taking the kid(s) for the weekend to spend time with his girlfriend. I’m sure you would feel upset and let down by him. I can fully empathize with your need for a break. However, when it comes to custody issues and kids, you can’t mess around.
When I dated someone who had kids I was always excited to have them as often as possible. We had six kids and 2 grand kids living with us and we made it work. I never made him choose me over the boys. Infact one of the boys just turned 18 and messaged me this past week and I was crying because I missed a few years after I left their dad. This young man was five when I met him. If you love your boyfriend it’s a package deal from day one. I missed the boys from middle school to highschool.
Ok 1st of all no one said he wasn’t a good dad yes it’s great he’s choosing his kid but she also stated she does everything when his kids there for him. Second if he can’t communicate n talk to u instead of reacting 1st that’s the #1 issue u should work on especially if ur abt to have a baby. Also if he doesn’t hear n see that u guys need alone time as well that’s another communication factor u should work out. I’ve been there done it so I feel u on both ends. Sounds like he’s a little immature just watch for red flags and listen to your gut. Good luck hope it was just a misunderstanding on his part n he opened his eyes
You are going to have 4 kids. I guess if you need to have a break you shouldn’t have had 4 kids. Whether you like it or not that poor kid is your 5th. I’m glad he left. He chose his son over you.
I would say… give him a call and tell him how much you appreciate him. Whee we your baby is born, that you will both be with full time, you can get a sitter for some quiet time on a day that not his day to see his boy! Celebrate him for saying this. Prayers and blessings!
I think you should of asked him to work a schedule out with the mother so he could have his son on his day off instead of just dropping his kid off on you when ur just trying to relax before this baby comes. So I totally get it. Wording was completely off and you need to explain exactly how your feeling about the situation. Yes he gets his kid one day a week but he works that day so he becomes ur responsibility. I mean did he even discuss if that was ok with u. He was taking his kid before u guys met who watched his kid while he worked? Maybe that person can help out like a grandparent.
Definitely wrong. He doesn’t get his son enough to be giving up those few days he does get… and if you were to ask me not to pick up my child I would have left you without skipping a beat… it’s not fair to his son to lose quality time with his dad because you want alone time… that’s not how good parenting works
I don’t ever get time to myself, that’s ok, because that is the path you choose when you have children. He has every right to choose his child. You should feel lucky, and count your blessings. If you try to get between someone and their child, they will leave you. Be careful with that.
Thats a great man right there. Never make a man choose between his kids or you thats so wrong. Atleast you know he will be an awesome dad to your shared child. I wish my ex would stand up to his gf like this!
Not great. If you need a day to yourself then you both should take the same day off work, like a nice Wednesday, to make that happen as a small baby moon. Your time together shouldn’t come at the expense of his relationship with his kid.
he did the right thing for sure. His son is your son if you are getting married. I am impressed by his dedication to his child. I understand you want a break and time together, but there are other ways to make that happen.
Should’ve been asked to change his parenting plan to have his son during the week the weekends you don’t have your kids. Since he’s not home on Saturday’s anyways. You shouldn’t of asked him not to take him… Good luck you’re not getting any alone time when the baby comes!
Yes, you were wrong.
You might have been truthful in your feelings, but you were wrong to ask him to not take his son that weekend. Or any weekend for that matter.
If you can’t handle having his child join you and yours, then you’re not ready for a relationship with a man with a child.
Children come first… if you want a day alone than you need to plan it way in advance. How would you feel if he said that to you? If you find that you are “watching” his son instead of BF spending time with him then you should make plans for yourself and your kids once in awhile to give him time alone to parent his own child.
You’re definitely in the wrong. Never ask anyone to chose you over their kids, especially ones they have jointly.
I am a true believer in having a solid foundation with your spouse FIRST! I would always choose my kids as well first, but I realized that I need to fill my cup too! It’s not wrong that you want a day for just you and him! But, maybe approach things differently! Plan something for Sunday! Plan it together! Or take a day off of work and have fun! Plan date nights! Be creative and put 100% effort in to having YOU/HIM time!!
No you weren’t wrong. He’s your boyfriend not your husband.
You all were wrong for having more kids. If you feel the need to be alone, you all weren’t ready for more. Bless your heart, it was your hormones talking, telling him to marry you and you wouldn’t feel the need to make these requests.
I’m a “stepmother” actually the mother…and I WOULD OF NEVER ASK HIM NOT TO GET HIS DAUGHTER
15 years later I have a closer bond with her then her bio parents do
My bio kids and his daughter always came 1st and still do and they are grown 2 of them have 4 of our grandbabies that I currently am watching as I right this
We MAKE TIME FOR US! but we have always been Mom and Dad 1st
Then Husband & Wife
Pick and choose your battles cause being pregnant you might end up on the loosing end
Are None of y’all catching the part where the man has SUNDAYS off? Not Saturdays. He works on the day he is supposed to have his son and she takes care of the boy!! I think the Dad needs to switch his visitation. Why not get it changed to every other weekend and the weekday he has off? That would give the boy MORE actual time with his Dad if they worked it out for the weekends her ex has their kids then they could actually have some time together.
Well in all reality he dosent have time now because he already has a child and he shouldn’t have to sacrifice his time with his kid that u knew he had when u got into the relationship so im sorry u were kinda of only thinking of yourself not him or his other child. That was a package deal when u started dating him. How would u feel if the roles were reversed. Probably the same way he feels right now. You knew he had a child going into your relationship so him having his child 1 day a week shouldn’t feel like an inconvience to him or you that’s not fair to him or his kid.
Um you think you don’t have “room” for his kiddo yet your having another. His kiddo is just as important as yours. He is there when your kids are there and just because your kiddos leave for a weekend and his only comes over on one day on the weekend you really need to suck it up. So he has to go work. Do you want him to take off work and miss the income. With all the kiddos and one on the way it sounds like he can’t afford to take off. Get a sitter for your kids if you want private time. Have your kids stay at their dad’s longer on Sundays so you can have alone time. At this point asking him the way you did just makes you appear selfish and uncaring. He was right to walk out. Hope you can do some soul searching because if not it may mean your unborn kiddo will just be having visits on weekends with the dad as well because you chased him away by not opening your heart and home to his son.
Question back to her, if she was still pregnant and the other 3 where HIS AND he had a son with said ex, would she still have asked him not to have his son.
Yes she was wrong to ask him. As harsh as it may seem, if she needs a break stop having kids. Or ask to trade days but not completely give up the only day he has with the son. Kids shouldn’t have to feel pushed aside because one is tired. It’s one day he gets him. She came into this relationship as a bonus mom and him a bonus dad to hers. Act like a parent to all. Not just hers. And that means cook clean etc for him as she does her own.
I understand he moved into your home. And his son asked to move in with his dad.Dad is a package deal just as you are! How can you say you don’t have the space for his son? In my opinion if you don’t have space for my child or children then you don’t have the space for me either. Not trying to be rude just my opinion. Good luck! God Bless your family. I pray y’all can come to an understanding and work things out.
He has one day off through out the week and Sunday so hes not even going to have his child on Saturday she is so no shes not wrong for wanting a kid free day especially when shes not even gna have her own kids and he should take her into consideration and be grateful she does all she does for him and his son but shes only human and shes pregnant she deserves time to herself and rest also
I’m sorry I wouldn’t pick my bf over my kid, he comes 1st. He didn’t ask to be born, I made him. I be damned if I choose another person over him… the kid will be crushed, your an adult, you can deal with a child for day so I agree with your bf
Hes neither of you are right or necessarily wrong. Kids should come first. If his partner (you) doesn’t feel the same then perhaps its not the right relationship for either of you because you both deserve to be happy. As for you dont have room. That’s so unfair if your kids are assumed to treat him like a step parent you are assumed to be step to his. There are always room for your children, his and yours even if that means bunks. You can still have his son and tell him your going out for the day he needs a sitter. Your not his live in nanny and he is not yours
So not everyone is seeing the picture here… she cares for him while he is at work on "the day his son visits " so tell me how you think he is a good father for choosing his son and she is the bad person. If he was home to care for him maybe she wouldn’t feel the need for a break from the child/children.
my opinion … you messed up cause that’s a great dad right there. You got with him knowing about his kid. When you decided you were gonna be in his life you have no right to ask it. You have no right to say you don’t have room for him or complain about caring for his kid when I’m sure he doesn’t complain about your kids. You want some time alone … get a sitter
Ok, I get what she’s asking. It’s a reasonable request. It should have been something that was planned out though. Weekends rearranged or something. It’s definitely not something that should be requested without having a plan in place. She’s not asking for him to choose her over his son, she just wants some time alone with her boyfriend. Which is ok. Planning is key.
I’m sorry, but I’m with your boyfriend 100%. When you’re in a relationship with someone with a child, that child becomes part of the deal. Based on what you said, he has his kid ONE day of the week. It might be a burden to you, but imagine you only had your three for one day a week, would you give up your one day, basically not see your child for 13 days? I’m sorry, I know it’s frustrating, and you’re probably exhausted, but he’s a dad and apparently a dedicated one.
You know he is a good dad. He is spending time with his son like hes suppose to. What if his son lives with you…you going to kick him out
Family is family no matter if he lives with the dad or not hes still his son and YOURS.
Hi! I come from a blended family. My advice would be to talk calmly with him about perhaps asking his son’s mom about having him every other weekend, and maybe a day or two during the week. I remember feeling unwanted by my stepmother, and I pray for you and him that you can look at him as you own, and make sure he knows he is wanted. If I can be of any support, you can pm me
I have 5 children of my own and 2 step. I would NEVER ask for my husbands kids to not come over. They are MINE and have been since him and I first got serious. I love them and I’m sorry, but if they didn’t already live with us full time and they asked to live with me, it would be an absolutely. The kids ALWAYS come first and once you have them, there is no “alone time”. Sorry but you need to get your priorities straight. I’m glad he’s a man that knows how it should be.
As a parent we don’t want to be with someone who is not a parent. On the other hand our babies come before anyone else. You should understand better than anyone else. Open your eyes girl.
Kids always come first! Welcome to being a parent! I have a 16 year old bonus son, who I have been in his life his entire life. My husband and I also have 2 children of our own. Not once would I even make him choose me over his kids! If you want alone time, get a babysitter and plan a date night.
You want your time alone with him. That’s normal, but having kids who count on their mom/dad and being consistent needs to remain that way. Have a family night, dinner and a movie. Your in it for the long haul, as a parent I’m sure you wouldn’t appreciate any human being suggest you not take your kids. They depend on you. They depend on him. I hope this is your last child.
You aren’t wrong for wanting some alone time with him but maybe ask him if you and he can work in a day that you won’t have the kids so you can spend the day together. Asking him to not take his son on his day is understandably offensive although he seems to have maybe gone a little overboard. It’s all in how you word things.
So I’m sure he is court ordered for that night… do u understand how his son will feel? He’s not going to feel good that much I know. He’s going to feel unloved and like promises have been broken. He will grow up thinking his father chose a woman over him. I personally grew up with a mother that chose a man… it was terrible and hard to understand for a long time. He gets him for 1 night!!! I think you have 6 other nights in the week to figure out how to get quality time. Work around it and never make a parent make that choice. Also ppl have stated above oh it’s just 1 night!!! Well see the problem is that it’s the wrong night… in fact that is there one night so let them have it. You don’t think it’s a big deal to ask for 1 night but yet have a problem with him being there 1 night. I absolutely think he did the right thing… you proved to him that his son is not worthy and honestly that’s just sad.
Wait a minute I need to be clear about this… are you saying you have multiple children of your own plus he has one AND your pregnant with HIS baby right? So you guys have a schedule with the kids that are not the same as eachothers right? Plus life with work is crazy. So you asked him randomly one weekend that he was supposed to get his son if he could not do it that weekend because yours would be gone and you just for once wanted some alone time and he said basically FU I’m picking my kid over my girlfriend? Well assuming I have the situation right, he still left a kid out of his supposed holier than thou behavior… he just left his kid he is having with you. He also just left the kids that thought he was in their life now and this will upset his child and show all the kids that this is how you act like a man… sorry but no… if he felt like he didnt want to miss the weekend with his kid he should have discussed it with you and you guys should coordinate schedules to accommodate your new life together so that you do have time without the kids. Especially with a new baby coming. If he doesn’t understand that and it was that easy for him to pick up and leave then he doesn’t love you and you have yourself a situation. He sounds manipulative and a bit narcissistic and you deserve better
I know lots of people that do that so they can have a break, should be on same week end everyone needs time together without kids.
If you really love him, you must also learn to love the people that he loves. If you don’t want to do it, forget him. Ok?
What upset me is when you said the child wants to live with you, but you don’t have room for 5 kids. If you have room every weekend… you have room all the time. Asking for a kid free date is completely understandable. Regardless of whether the kids are both of yalls or his or yours doesnt matter. There is obviously a lot omitted from this post.
Nope you are not wrong for even a second. He must understand that this time needs to be special and a break and together time is necessary. It’s not about choosing but being his woman he needs to work just as hard to make you happy as he does his child. It’s one single day, but he’s acting like it’s abandonments of his other child. He sounds pretty immature especially that him having his child means you doing more work than you need to.
He’s correct. Children do come first. Maybe you did not outright ask him to make a choice. But in a roundabout way you did. Part of being in a relationship with someone with children is that you accept their children and sometimes you have to take care of his children when the other person is working.
If he only sees his son on Saturdays, give that son his dad! As parents we give up our alone time when we have kids, especially when they live at others homes most of the time.
Yes you’re wrong… if you guys are living together than you are a family unit… it’s incredibly selfish to limit his time with his son because you want a kid free couple of days. Parenting doesn’t work like that… you absolutely asked him to choose between you and his child… you would be absolutely livid if the child was yours and their father did the same thing… it’s either all or nothing in this situation…
I don’t think you really thought this through before asking him. My husband has children from a previous marriage. When we moved in together, I took that as we were becoming a family together. So when he had to work on his weekends with kids, we didn’t ask to swap weekends. They came and spent time with me and when he came home from work, we all spent time together. I don’t think you are a bad person, I just don’t think you thought it through before you asked him that. - the only time we didn’t get the kids is when our son we had together had the flu, I had the flu and my husband started getting sick. We didn’t want to make the other two sick, and she didn’t want the kids getting sick either. - They are grown now and I love them as my own.
Maybe it was bad timing. That was a conversation to have from the beginning. My daughter actually has this in place, his kids don’t come when she doesn’t have hers so yiu have time together. You probably hurt his feelings. Good luck.
Wow everybody. This woman asked a question. I’m
Sure there are nicer ways to answer. I couldn’t believe the tone in these comments. A respectable kind comment would be a bit better.
my kids bonus mom takes him 50% of the time no matter what!
she loves my child as her own and I’m beyond grateful for it.
everyone’s circumstances are different.
but I know if I were to ask my childs father to spend less time with his kid. even for just one week. he wouldn’t do it.
he would spend a day with his SO on a day he doesn’t have our child though. or he will swap out days with me if they are going on a trip.
we are all lucky enough to have become friends and communicate extremely well.
(it wasn’t always like this we’ve grown)
I would say asking to spend a day with just your boyfriend before baby arrives is understandable. However this is fathers day weekend. He should spend time with his son. Does he cook, clean, help with your kids? Feel like if you are going to play house it is all or nothing. There should be no his and mine. They are ours. Plan a special day just the two of you but don’t phrase as don’t take your kid this weekend
You said it yourself. You don’t have space for 5 children.
Clear as day you don’t have space for his child.
Very hurtful for him to hear that.
And if your minding the kid shouldn’t that be the same as minding your own if you are a family, I’m sure he minds your kids at times when you’re out of the house… How would you feel if he spoke of your kids like that???
Sounds like you need that time wit his kid to bond and maybe you will find space for him then
Yes I side with those who are saying get a sitter for a day you have your kids. If he only gets him Saturday I’m sure it would crush his son to know he’s not gonna get to see his dad on the one day that he gets with him. I totally understand the need for a break but there’s a much better and fairer way of doing it
I think your desire to have time alone with your bf is good. Means you cherish him. He’s important to you. Maybe saying it a different way would have avoided him feeling defensive. For example, “babe, let’s plan for some alone time before baby comes.”
My husband and I are a blended family, and i’m very sensitive when it comes to my own as well. We have to tread lightly so as not to make our partners feel defensive when it comes to the children.
Lot of negativety On this post, I don’t think she was saying for him to NOT take his son every weekend, i think she was just saying she needs a break Atleast one weekend. And that is not wrong at all, especially being pregnant and working full time along with three kids. But maybe have him just take his son out for a few hours during on the day he has them every once in awhile instead of asking him to not just take his son at all? Or plan for one weekend for it too be just you two ahead ahead of time. There is nothing wrong at all with that!
I don’t think your wrong and people who have their kids all the time get stuck in a routine because it’s force life, it’s okay to ask for a break that’s how you keep your relationship happy healthy. If the communication and visits are going well and there no issues with switching time with his son mom then why not spend qt time before a new arrival people forget that they are welcome to a date night and qt is definitely needed. I think he didn’t even communicate he stormed out thinking your asking him to choose which to me is pretty selfish because if we have a baby on the way then our communication should be at a point where we ain’t living and packing up are things helll where did he go did he come back I think something else is up to be honest
I think you do deserve a break when you ask for one certainly. I think maybe he took it wrong. If you two are living together his child responsibilities become yours when you took up the same residence. I absolutely think he needs to adjust his schedule so he is spending the allotted time with his kiddo and not dumping that on you but as a partner you guys have to find a way to work together as a team. Keep your head up and try to ignore the negative comments. Take what you can apply to you and toss out the rest. Communication is 95% of the battle. We as women speak different languages than men so it maybe a simple miscommunication and I hope the two of you can sit down and work it out. A blended family means just that a blended family. What is yours is his and vice versus. Good luck sending you prayers.
Seems like he only gets 1 day a week with his son. Asking him to skip 1 week is probably devastating. I also understand alone time is golden. When u have kids that is hard. Me and the husband never had any dates after my son was born. It is what it is. Being Parents.