Wrong move, mama. He’s not just “his son”. If you choose to be with him, his kiddo is yours too. Package deal. If that’s not appealing to you, he’s right to leave you.
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You are in the wrong. He should be taking care of his child , but if he does and you are just helping then that’s just that. If you want to be with someone who has kids then treat them like your own or maybe don’t date anyone with children. This sounds selfish. Get a sitter for alone time. How do you not have room for his son when you are pregnant??? You sound very selfish.
You are wrong. Sounds like to me by reading what you wrote you think his son is a burden.(“I don’t have room for 5 children”) but you have room for your 4 children .You have to stop and think his child doesn’t live with him so he doesn’t get to see him much.
You took him as a package deal. You r a lucky woman to have such a awesome dad. I would apologize asap…you will have plenty free weekends when all the kiddos r grown. Try to get a free day during the week where you all van spent sometime together.
Yes you are wrong…you needed the break, so why didnt you leave for the night or ditch your children? Seems like he already has limited time with his son, (probably the standard 4 days a month that most fathers get), so why would you think asking him to give up one of them is ok???
My question is this if his day off is a week day and Sundays. Why does he take his son on Saturday’s as that means someone other than the Dad must care for him? I’m glad his son comes first but he should take him on his day off to spend time with him. That being said perhaps you could have voiced your concerns and planned for a different Saturday to be kid free
Can’t believe all these people. No,it’s not your fault. You simply asked him to reschedule his visitation. He is out of line for leaving you since you are carrying his child. However,it is Fathers Day weekend, let him spend time with his son. Get out of the house and do something you want to do on your own or with a friend. Best of luck,hope he comes back and you can work it out.
It isn’t right for you to care for his child even let his son stay extra days and then not get any say as a parent. He’s definitely wrong to just pack and leave without seeing how much weight you’re pulling around the house and he should definitely move his parenting time to days where he can take care of his kid himself if it’s so important him be over. No, you aren’t wrong. And it’s not fair to care so much for another persons child with no say as to when you get a break. Change the locks while he’s gone since he wants to be dramatic.
Maybe the approach could have been better but I completely understand. Because at the end of the day you knew he had kids and he knew you did. Empathy goes a long way.
Well… it’s complicated. i don’t think you were right to ask but i don’t think he was right to bounce. you’re not his girlfriend, you’re the mother of his other child.
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Good for Dad. Kids come first. ALL the kids should be treated as 1 family. There’s no picking n choosing when to be a parent. Especially if you’re having that child’s sibling. You rearrange YOUR schedule to make time for some couple time. Request a day off n get a sitter. But not fair for that child to be excluded n not made a priority. Good luck. Try to coparent with this baby on the way. How will you feel if his new chick does that to your child? Get your priorities in order. For the kids sake
I understand wanting some me time. Being pregnant and caring for children is hard. Ask yourself how would you feel if he asked you not to see your children? I applaud him for being a father. This is something you two need to work out
Can NEVER ask someone to forgo visitation w their kid. I’d have left too.
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Y’all are really rude. She wanted a date night. Just one. Alone with the man she loves. It’s one day out of many that he’s going to get to see his son and I get that he only sees him one day a week but it’s just one time that he won’t see him. Not to mention it sounds like she loves his son and takes care of him. She’s also pregnant. She seems to have very little time for herself and once the baby is here she will never catch a break. She wants a one day break from all children and a date night why is that wrong for her to ask?? She wasn’t asking for him to give up his child forever. And who knows maybe they can’t get a sitter for her kids on other days. You don’t know the full situation. And if you payed attention you would have realized he’s taking his son on days that he works. So she is taking care of his son those days
YES YOU WERE WRONG. Your kids live with him so you see them everyday. His son does not live with him so he does not get to see him often. He did the right thing by choosing his son over you. That being said its not your job to look after his son when he is there, your boyfriends should look after him. I also think you should have your tubes tied. You have more than enough kids and your relationships clearly aren’t stable.
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Put yourself in his shoes … also If his son could live with you would you really tell him no ? How would you feel if he asked you to do the same when it comes to your kids ? Sounds like you expect him to work around your schedule but you’re not willing to do the same
You two would benefit from some counseling…do something different so you both are in a win-win situation. You both need to learn skills so the other person feels like you are listening and you both end up getting what you want or at least being happy with the choice you both make together. I didn’t see your age but that is quite a bit of “stuff” to have to deal with. Do you feel you are being used? You all sound so busy and have so much stress I hope you can get this settled so your new baby won’t feel it. Good luck to you!
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I’m not so sure people are reading this correctly. She stated that he has Sundays and another mid-week day off, not Saturdays, yet he picks him his son up on Saturdays. So for that day she is his primary caregiver while her BF is at work and her own children are with their father. I think what she is asking might be reasonable albeit poorly said. Had she requested he take his son for two days off during the middle of the week, one of which would be his day off then what is the difference if it’s a Saturday or not. Plus do you remember being 7 months pregnant?? It’s tiring in itself. She should have presented a compromise rather than an ultimatum and maybe she would have been able to find a win/win solution.
It’s ok wanting sometime from the children and all parents deserve that time but what I was told yrs ago once you have children there’s never going to be time for ourself I’ve been with this gentleman for 19 yrs he raised 2 of my children as his own they were baby’s then had 2 by him we still raising our last younger children we don’t have time for our self it’s just the way it works sometimes with our son having ADHD and odd and our daughter with critical asthma we just don’t have time for breaks 
Absolutely…
Going on 5 kids, you should have known this years ago, or viewed your single time while father of your three had them as Gift, because married couples do not get alone time-with themselves or spouse! Hopefully all your children’s visitation will be same weekends so you can have it again… if together likely doesn’t happen till all in their 20s… poor choice, but consequences might get you want you want, alone time, a break,
KIDS SHOULD ALWAYS BE FIRST. And there should always be room for his child. If you get into a relationship with someone that has children it’s not “your kids and my kids” it’s “our kids” bottom line.
I’m trying to understand… if he only gets his son on Saturday… and BOTH of you are off on Sunday… then why not make plans for a date on Sunday? No one knows the situation, but make plans around what is already established.
I’m MY OPINION: If I only had my child one day a week… I damn sure wouldn’t give that time up for anyone. Regardless if he’s at my house and I have to work, at least I know the bills are getting paid so he has a safe place to go and then could get all the love in as much as possible afterwards.
So many families have their kids full time and still make room for date nights.
I personally wouldn’t have asked that of him.
Between my kids and my husbands kids we have 5, our weekends never lined up, when my kids were with their dad we had his kids, when his kids were with their mom we had my kids. I would never ask him not to get his kids, they are his world and he doesn’t get to see them everyday and misses all the small stuff that goes on in their lives. If I want a date night for us then a weekend we have my kids they will go sleep over at my parents house, because we have them all the time.
I would have left too! I wouldn’t want to be with someone that didnt want me to put my child first. My oldest son isnt my husband’s biological child and from day one I let him know I wouldn’t ditch my kid for him. We dated and most times did stuff that was kid friendly because once your a parent your kids are before everything. I also said if we were going to have kids they would all have to be treated equally and I think this made him respect me more and he never made my son feel unwanted or like a bother. I would have left if he had. He is still here 16 years later and we have a great family.
Now ask yourself would you be mad if he did this to your child when it was your child’s weekend to come an he disses your child? Its not about us as parents once we decide to lay down an have kids its about the kids. An if you wanted time with just him ask him when can we have a date night not at the expense of the child time sorry but thsts my opion
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I feel for you, everyone needs a break, but realize your husband has a break from his child that he doesn’t necessarily want and will try to use the time he gets. Take 30 minutes do downstairs do laundry… Seriously make your own breaks no matter how small.
Yes ur wrong if you love him that means what comes with him…and you have room for 4 but not 5 makes no sense you make room for him…he’s got to love and accept all yours but you can’t accept his?and sorry to say this but NOT SO SORRY if you wanted time alone you should have never had so many kids IJS #motherof10
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I don’t see how you are wrong for asking for a day without any kids. He’s wrong for expecting you to just do all the work of caring for his child all the time. Especially while you’re pregnant. It’s a lot of work and wanting a break isn’t wrong.
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Yes, that is wrong on many levels. He see’s his son one day a week. They both need to know they can always count on that day to be with eachother. That was very selfish for you to ask that.
I agree with everyone here! Great dad! And as far as no room for 5 kids? You make room! Bottom line!
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I would have left you too. Honestly, you’re not in it to play house. If you love him, you love his kid too. That all goes with the territory. You both chose to have a gazillion kids, now you take the responsibility to raise them. Just because you get to be a part time parent doesn’t mean you get to choose his days for him. This is rude and selfish. If that child wants to live with you guys you should be flattered. I feel bad for his kid and I’m proud of him. Sounds like you’ll end up losing a good man.
I feel maybe u should have said hey lets plan a Saturday soon before the baby were its just “us”. I feel he shouldnt packed n left that quick. (I would raise an brow to that) If you are the one who does end up fully watching “his kid” start spending the day some where. Go to a Firend house , take yourself to a movie, shopping or local park , or go sit in a parking lot n people watch .You will be fully entertain. Lol. I hope you two work things out. Congrats on the baby.
Well, if it was me, and a guy asked me not to take my kids just so I could be with hi, who i live with, I would absolutely pack my bags and go, no way any one will come before my kids
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Wtffff nope shes wrong and a POS not sorry one bit. I applaud him for being an amazing dad!
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You knew the schedule, you work around that. My kids used to be gone every other week with their dad, and i think one time in 10 years i asked him to keep them when i shouldve had them… and that was because i let somebody move into my apt and he ended up being crazy and they were safer at dads til i could get rid of him. We always worked our schedules around the kids schedule, just like you should be doing. His kid isnt going anywhere and whos to say your relationship will even last?? Hes right not to push his son away for you, even if its just “one day”. That one day can mean the world to a kid!
YES!!! THAT’S HIS KID, HOS FAMILY!!! I’m glad he got mad, that means he love his kid. You being with him means you knew he had a kid and was aware there was an addition to your family if things were to become serious!!
Maybe you guys can make it so his weekend with his kid is when you have your kids as well…that way you can still have a weekend with just the 2 of u…or time for the 3 of u. But of he.hs to accept your kids…you have to accept his. Hopefully you guys can work things out
I have different opinions on this. If she’s the one taking care of his kid then yes she has every right to ask and especially being pregnant. On the other hand if he’s not at work while his child is there and he can watch him and take care of him then. I works both ways in a relationship with kids From previous marriages, remember it takes a village to raise a child and sometimes children can get hard and frustrating and I understand that’s no reason to take it out on a child you just need to take a deep breath to go outside let your kids go by crazy for a minute come back inside when you’re taking a break and deal with it the correct way. And yes sometimes moms do need a break you know it does get frustrating especially when you have babies.
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I’m sorry, you were VERY wrong for asking your boyfriend to not take his son! That is extremely selfish! You know what having kids entails! It doesn’t always allow time you may want with your SO. Your time together is when the kids go to bed. I’m glad he left! He has his priorities straight, his child!
Way to go… He was very much in the right to choose his child first…
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When you start a relationship with a person that has children, it is both of your jobs to blend your families. Don’t choose a person with children if your aren’t prepared to commit completely.
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I get wanting a day just the two of you, but it needs to be planned in way more advance. You should want and encourage him to spend time with his son, especially with a baby one the way. Not only should you not try to take that time away from them in such short notice, but you also need to take his sons feelings into account. You said you don’t have space for more kids so he can’t move in, and to him, you’re having another kid, so I’m sure he wants to know why he isn’t good enough to live there too. That’s hard on a kid. I feel like there’s more to this than you just asking him not to, and him packing up. I feel like it was a demand or even ultimatum. Either way plan it further out, and don’t be suprised when he gets upset for not being able to see his child. I’m sure if the roles were switched and you didn’t have your kids all the time and he had his, you would be livid for him asking you not to take your kids.
Plan it when his child is not coming. Most Dads don’t get to see their kids very much and it’s very precious. Good for you Dad.
So wrong in so many ways ! Kinda weird you pointed out you don’t have room for his son ! You also seem like you don’t have room in your heart either 
that would be a deal breaker for me if I were him!!! If he did and said that to you about your kids? I am so sad for his child and it is sad that you are that kind of woman ! I was treated like his son by someone like you ! I have forgiven her now but I hope he sees you for who you are not after his child is grown !
What about those of us still married or single moms/dads without another parent to send them to? We don’t get weekends away from the kids all of the time.
I can understand for one weekend here and there asking for a break, but you are asking him to give up the one day he has with his child.
He should definitely choose his child over you.
You’re lucky to get pregnant by a man that wants to be with his kids. Very selfish to ask him to not take his kid. Grow up, you’re about to have another 
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I have to agree with him… My kids would always come first. If you want a break, find a babysitter for a few hours. Or if you’re on good terms with his ex, talk to her about swapping days one week. Communication is huge!
Hummm? i sense a problem already reading this all i hear is my kids,his kid. When yall together and your pregnant they all become our kids when yall agreed to be together yall became a package deal children included. Also their is nothing wrong with wanting a break. I guess it could have been handled better thats his son at the end off the day just because you say YOUR kids are gone should mean his son can come over. Explain to him all of the kids are gone and i was going to relax this weekend if he comes over im going to need your help with him because at the end of the day your pregnant and you work 40 plus hours a week u deserve a break.
Also Your kids live with yall. How would you feel if he asked you that if the roles were reversed. As a mother myself i would have been pissed so he has every right. Hope yall work it out
You phrased it wrong if your intent was to spend a solitary weekend for the 2 of you… You choose your kids why shouldn’t he.wanted a date night you should have arranged it during the week.
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I’m seeing a different picture. Why does his child want to come live with y’all? Has anyone bothered to ask that? Not many kids want to leave their mom.
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Honestly I love that he picked his kid. Maybe the appropriate question would have been to switch days. If he works on Saturday he isn’t getting much time with his child. Maybe he could get with his ex about getting him on Sunday’s when he’s off instead. Sounds like you were asking to not see his child at all this weekend and go two weeks without his child. That’s not cool.
Yes, you were wrong. When you get with someone that has kids, you know from the beginning you’re going to sacrifice certain things. To basically have him choose between you and his son it asinine. How would you feel if he asked you to not get your kids? His son needs his daddy, regardless if you want a day with him with no kids. You find alternatives. Period. My husband has 2 boys from his first marriage. We paid over 1k a month in CS. Sometimes that meant we were eating boxed Mac and cheese, ramen noodles, spam, etc. You sacrifice what you have to for your kids, even your partner sometimes.
Sounds like you wanted ONE day with him, I dont think it came across that way though
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I’m sorry but you are so wrong. When we have kids we know that we have to care for them 24 hrs a day 7 days a week. Having children is the most life changing decision we as mothers make. Do we deserve a break? He’ll yes. Do we deserve to have alone time with our husbands/significant other? Absolutely. But you never ask a father to give up any time with his children. Why is that child so different from your own, and if you’re pregnant I’m going to assume you’re having a child with his dad. One day you’ll have to start accepting his child as your own and treating them as such. My opinion/thought, not telling you what to do of course but If it were me I’d seriously consider changing my ways.
If you asked him to take every weekend off, you are completely wrong? Can you coordinate your custody arrangements? Instead of him having his son every Saturday, could he have his son every other (entire) weekend that matches the weekends you have your three kids? Then every other weekend you two have no kids for a few months. If he doesn’t put in the work to care for his son when he is there, he is unlikely to pull his weight when your new baby arrives.
You shouldnt have asked him not to see his kid. He shouldnt be living with you if you cant deal with his kid. But also, you arent responsible for watching his son. That’s his job. You could have said hey this weekend I’m staying in bed and want some quiet time so maybe you and your son can go out and do this. I will be unavailable as I need time to recoup.
No point in his child being there if he’s not doing the parent stuff with and for him
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I’m sorry I never once told my husband not to have his kids at all on our days. We get the one every other weekend but with life happening we get him 5-7 days straight and then he goes with mom for a few days.im on leave. We have a total of 7 kids together. Once your a parent you don’t really get alone time. If I don’t have my kids I have his or our daughter everyday. I balanced all 6 before the 7th came. Yes you need a break but don’t pick a day he only has his child. Maybe talk to your ex about taking the kids an extra day you don’t have his. Like I said we used to only get my one stepson every other weekend if we we’re lucky now we have him daily.
So all these women saying son comes first, well his pregnant girlfriend or wife needs help which she clearly IS NOT GETTING … stop shaming her for asking for help and THEIR UNBORN child needs to be considered as well.
Appalled at you all…she asked for one day carrying HIS CHILD AS WELL and needs a rest and someone to take care of her too sometimes…very realistic request considering she cares for everyone and their UNBORN child
I can see wanting alone time but how can you say you “don’t have the space” for his child to live there but your having another baby? Maybe I’m wrong for saying that but kind of a double standard.
If you’re taking on someone with kids you’re taking on those kids as well im a mom of three who never gets a day away from her kids so I don’t feel sorry especially seeings how you’re getting ready to bring another into the mix im sure you wouldn’t like it if he asked your kids to stay with their dad
Ok. Ik. Now that you know to ask him that wasnt exactly right… maybe ask him I’d he can switch a day… instead os sarurday,do friday or Sunday. Its sunnee so a weekday might even do the trick.
I have 5 children, it’s hard and alone time isn’t easy. I’m learning everyday how to address conversations without starting an argument. Lol
I would have asked more help with the house and kids not for my spouse to NOT SEE HIS CHILD. imagine if he asked the same if you. And you said for him to stop coming on the weekends wich sounds like more than one day to me. Dont date someone that has kids if you are not willing to coparent those children and treat them as your own. I could not imagine sending my two sons away and tilling them not to come I am pregnant too and ready to pop any day, I’m in college full time and have class 5 hours a days and 5 kids. Consider what you’re asking of him and ask yourself if that’s fair
Asking a father to give up the little time he has with his kid to spend time alone with you is not fair. He barely gets time as it is. Get a sitter during the week for your kids and go out!
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I was on your side when I thought you just needed 1 day to relax with your SO everyone needs a down day once in a while to rejuvenate and spend time together especially with such a large family but asking him to not have his son at all is wrong what is he said let’s not have your children? Time to grow up!
Yes when you date someone with kids you should treat them just like your own. You should never ask a real parent to give up their time with their kid for your own selfishness
I would never tell my boyfriend to have his son not come over if he has him on the weekends. I have joint custody of my boys and they will be with their dad this weekend cuz its his weekend then next weekend with me. I only have the weekends off as well and even though everyother weekend i dont have my kids, my boyfriend has full custody of his son so hes always here and i love it because when you date someone with kids its a full package deal. Once in a while we get alone time but just be grateful you have a man that cares about his children because a lot of women don’t have that
Alot of you people on here who are hating on a pregnant woman especially women who are hating on her probably come from a broken home or have already broken up your home. He should never have left her for her needing him when she’s caring for all those children and pregnant with his child. Do all u women forget what it’s like to be pregnant and feel drained. You are abandoning a woman who is crying for companionship from the father of her unborn child! You and him should be ashamed of yourself. Especially all u women who know what it’s like to be pregnant!!
Turn the tables. What if this relationship doesn’t last and he moves on but his new girlfriend doesn’t want the baby you are having around,or your ex has a girlfriend that feels that way about your kids, Even if it is just for a day. Be glad he wants his kids around that shows u what kind of a dad he will be with your child. Never ever ask someone to choose between u or his kids and even though that’s not what u said that’s what he heard. Hope it works out for you all.
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He has to deal with your 3 all the time! You sound like a selfish woman. Now you’re pregnant again. And shutting out his 1 kid!!! That favoritism will hurt that child. Glad he left you
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Not sure if you asked the right question. Cause if that is the way you asked him to spend time with you, I think he chose correct! You can hire a babysitter for time alone!
Maybe word things a bit better next time? Instead of telling him not to have his son maybe just ask him if you can have a day to yourselves every now and then and then let him work it out? In regards to you looking after his son when he comes to stay, if you have an issue with it you should tell him and hopefully he’ll realise that you have a lot on your plate and don’t have the energy at the moment to do it all 
the reality is that him and his children are a package deal, just like you and yours are, you need to both allow time and be accepting of all the children if you want to have a healthy relationship and be a family. If your children are a bit older can they help out at all?
If you don’t have space for 5 kids you should have been a little more thoughtful & careful before getting pregnant again. You invisibly knew he had a child before you moved in together and decided to have a child together so his child should have been accounted for. And yes you did ask him to pick you over his child when you asked him not to take him.
Don’t complain about having no time alone together when you’re new baby comes along because you both made the choice to have this baby.
You were 100% in the wrong. I would’ve packed my things too if my husband asked me to pick him over our baby.
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I mean that’s what happens when u have kids… they become priority #1 sorry sis… I wouldn’t ask my boyfriend not to have his daughter come stay with us. She gets to see her little sister and her stepsister. I understand needing a break but maybe just take a break by yourself. Give him some one on one with his son. I do that with his daughter. I will take my girls to my moms or if I’m working I’ll try to make it to where she is the only one there with him that way she can spend all the time she wants just her and her daddy. Just gotta suck it up buttercup that’s what happens when u have a blended family
Yes it is wrong. The kids come first. I can’t imagine someone telling me to spend less time with my kids. He had every right to be upset. If you don’t have room for all the kids, maybe you shouldn’t have anymore. You’re to blame for doing all that stuff when the son is there. You should have nipped that in the bud right away. This isn’t going to end well. (And it will end)
In India being culturally different, We dont have husband kids issue…but I do relate to u on a different level…every weekend we have my husband’s side of a family visiting us…and at times its annouing as we also get to have just one weekend to ourself…i hear u lady and its not selfish…u need ur space
Yeah you were wrong. Very wrong. You knew he had a child from a previous relationship. Just like your own kids get to see their dad, you don’t have the right to ask him not to be with his kids. Y’all should have talked about all this before he moved into your house. Yay to him for standing up for his rights as a father and for his son.
Children always come first!! Has he ever told/ask you not to get your children?? Think how you would feel. I would never ask for someone not to get their child unless it was a absolute emergency situation…
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What if he has no other time to spend with his son but that time…you said everybody schedule is tight…you had to have known before hand how many kids were involved and how the schedules were set up…not saying you are wrong for wanting alone time…sometimes we get caught up in love we forget to take notice of all the dynamics of our situation…hes not wrong for chosing to spend time with his son either…
Ya you shouldn’t ask him to not get his son… when you choose to have kids you give up a lot of personal time with your mate… you have to be creative & make time for each other… he already has given up seeing his kid every day now you asked him to not get him the one day he is allowed to see him… he has the right to be upset with you
I am not going to bash you, because I understand you needing a day to yourself. You need to really sit and consider your relationship with your man. When you met him you knew he had a child. With that being said you should not have accepted the man if you were not going to accept the child as your own. The same way you could make room for the new baby you are carrying, you could make room for his existing child. If the child want to live with his dad and it is ok with the child’s mom, it should be ok with you. You expect him to accept your 3 other kids, but you will not accept his one. He is a good man. I would suggest you have a talk with him and find space in your heart for this child who apparently is crying out for your love. Good luck to you and your family. I pray all works out.
Im reading all these comments and everyone making it seem like she said give up the child or something crazy…shes pregnant, between them two they have 4 soon to be 5 kids, they work all week and then have their kids on weekends. Do they, especially her, deserve a break?
So everyone that think she wrong NEVER wanted a break for themselves??? Cause if you say yes youre lying.
Im a child care provider, i absolutely adore kids, i love my babies, i would do anything to make my children & any child happy…even i need a break once in awhile…she asked for a day to soend time with him, not even for her own personal space or anything. He needs to be understanding, they both have alot on their plate but she has a little more being that shes caring for all the children when hes not home and pregnant
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Did you mean for just one weekend or every weekend? Think you could ask for a special exception for one weekend for the two of you to have time, no kids, before the new baby arrives.
However, further in your explanation, it seems you said to not take his son at all on the weekends. That’s his ONLY time with his child and not fair of you to demand.
Hoping you do find that middle ground.
I would be mad also if someone asked me to not take my kid on the weekend, so I get where he’s coming from, BUT maybe he can try to get his day off on the weekend switched to Saturday’s so he has the time with his kid instead of you doing it all. It is HIS time. If i were him I’d be taking advantage of the time i have. Bummer if that still means not any time alone with you, but that’s life when you have kids. Get a sitter one night so you two can go out.
I also don’t think saying you don’t have the room is right. You got with him and got pregnant by him all while knowing he has a child from a previous relationship. You can’t just disregard his kid because you’re having another of your own.
I have an ex who would get his son every weekend (and blame me if he couldn’t since he needed me to make it happen) so that he “looked” like a good daddy to everyone else while I was (pregnant) providing all of the care and needs the boy needed. And I do mean ALL. Most of the time he would leave shortly after we picked him up to do whatever he wanted. Even if he was home everything was up to me…meals, supervision, buying the diapers, changing the diapers, baths, bedtime…everything. The 2 hour round trip there and back every weekend to pick him up was the most time he actually spent WITH him. While I don’t know enough about your situation to answer your question…I do know what its like to be used, taken for granted and manipulated. Hoping you find the best solution for your circumstances! Mine was to get the hell out.
Tomorrow is my husband and I anniversary we have been married 20 years we have 3 girls together and a grandson guess who we will be celebrating with our kids my husband also knows our kids come before him and I know our kids become before me in 20 years married and 21 together I can count on 1 hand how many times we’ve been alone
He will feel offended, maybe because he never ask you what you asked him. You said you have room for your kids and no room for his kid, that is already painful from his side especially his kid asked you if he can live there. Your boyfriend son needs his father like how your kids needs you. Love his son like your own as he will love your kids as his own. It is always give and take in any relationship. You have to love fully, respect each other, be patience with each other and be each other back bone.
I understand you want to be alone with your man but maybe do it better on weekdays, you can switch schedule with your co worker. As you said when your baby come you will not have time for each other as much as you want but also think that maybe your boyfriend feel the same way… that when your child will come he will spend his most days with your kid and only weekend to his eldest. He will feel guilty that it is not fair for his son.
In my opinion your wrong. That very limited time with his son is very important. When you have a blended family you sacrifice alone time. Just the way it is.
While I understand what you were trying to ask… what could be interpreted by the way you asked is very different.
My suggestion is that you contact your bf and ask to explain the miscommunication between you both. He thinks you were saying you didn’t want his son around. That may have stemmed from your not agreeing to take in his son as well as your own children. That may have given him the impression that there was no room for his kid in your lives.
With that said… you need to really reconsider your viewpoint because of how it comes across. You also need to explain wanting this weekend for you and your bf only to reconnect.
Your asking not to take his son for a break and alone time before the baby comes what happens when the baby is here and your even more tired and alone time is even harder to come by? Your gonna expect him to do it more? You already come off Like his child is an inconvenience to you, if you felt you didnt have room for his son why would you have another child?
Now focus your life with your 3 kids plus a bonus child from him you got your answers just pray he supports your child too but I don’t see any future there together if you can’t agrees on a small issue like that enjoy your family
Devil’s advocate here. I understand you need time alone with your partner, but to ask that his child not spend weekend’s in general there, is wrong. Cooking, cleaning, and caring is what you do as a step parent. You do for your partners children as you do for your own and shared. To ask for a day and an evening together once a month is reasonable.
Honestly yes you are wrong that’s his right n you should be happy to see he is an on hand dad n wants to spend time with his son n be the penn parent he should be n if Your feeling this way maybe u should tie your tubes n make this pregnancy your last sorry to say but he has every right to be mad at you n if that little boy is asking to live with y’all his dad should go for full custody because there’s something obviously not good where his little boy lives during the week…
Good on him good man he chose wisely you don’t want his son to spend the 1 day he has him kids come first then everyone else doesn’t matter better have someone that doesn’t have kids if you truely love him you wouldn’t ask that to begin with
As a mom and step mom - there is no time off! My husband & I got together when his son was 10 months old and if I would have told him to not get his son, he woulda did the same and left. When you get together with someone who already has a kid, you accept him as a whole (kid/s) included or you walk away. I love my step son and am damn proud to say he loves me like a mom. He is almost 23 yrs old now.
You could have asked him if there was anyway he could take him on Sundays instead of staurdays…I mean he isn’t spending much time with his kid if he works half the day…I get you and needing a break…but you may have come off uncaring or annoyed that he was coming over…talk about it and explain why you want this time with just him…plan a pre-babycation and go away for a weekend. why does he get him just every Saturday is there a reason you guys can’t coordinate having all the kids on one weekend? Communication is key here.
I see both sides!!! First this woman is pregnant and she noted she is the one taking care of this child!! No he shouldn’t pick his GF over his child but she needs to rest also, maybe wording it differently next time. Or giving half a day to a date but half a day to getting the child…
I think she was just wanting some alone time with him without any of the kids before the new baby got there. They both are probably stressed from working and juggling kids, school, this crazy covid mess, and what would it really hurt. I am a step parent have been a mom to my step daughter since she was 10 months, now she is almost 29. He should have talked to her about why he got upset rather than just packing and leaving. Talking it out would have been helpful and they both might have come to a better understanding of each other’s thoughts to the situation. Just my two cents.
It sounds like you two will have to look forward to Sundays together and night time after all of the kids go to bed. He gets his kid one day a week. One day. Please don’t ask him not to take his kid on that day. I know so many kids can be super super stressful… everyone needs alone time and every couple needs time together. I understand that. Believe me. You two will have to brainstorm and figure something else out to make that happen, though. Asking your boyfriend not to take his son on literally the only day his has him each week shouldn’t be an option and I’m afraid to say it just wouldn’t be right to ask of him. I do understand him being upset… think about it from his shoes and understand his perspective also. Then appologize and be sure to share your own feelings and wants/needs (because that matters too) and you two talk and come up with a better solution that works better and is fair for both of you. Communication is one of the most important things in a relationship.