She’s still a child
So no your not in the wrong for knowing she needs to do better not just for her self bit for that baby she had
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Whoo, it’s too early for this much ghetto behavior… where do I start??
Are we really going to blame someone else for your daughter’s actions? That boy isn’t forcing her to “act out”. She’s behaving that way because she wants to and she knows she can get away with it. Her attitude will never change as long as you keep approaching her as a child you can control instead of a human with free will. It’s clear she’s on her own path (no matter where it leads). Instead of trying to force your views on her you should try stepping back and letting her live her life. She’ll figure it out one day and when she does she will realize she was a teen mom with a silver spoon in her mouth. In the meantime I would unenroll her from school and make her become financially responsible for caring for her child. Funniest part about your post is that’s not even a complaint but, his parents “not being decent people” is smh. As for the tablet, possession is 9 tenths of the law, take it and be prepared to get charged with theft if she decides to call the police on y’all.
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Yeah you may not be able to take the tablet but you can take away the stuff you did pay for. Electricity, chargers, internet. She wants to play hard ball then play hard ball. If she’s not going to go to school to get an education for her child then she needs to get a job and support her child. Sometimes hardball is how you have to play it. And since Mr. Big daddy wants to play big daddy to your daughter then you can take him and his parents to court for child support 
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Charge Rent… or listen to rules, since an adult, ok np… rent is 500, i includes utilities… for you and child food is 200 more… oh, no rent?? Then you listen.
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First of all her bf didnt make her smoke pot. She made the choice to put the pipe in her mouth. It seems like your putting the blame on everyone else. Who raised her?
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Your roof your rules.
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I would change that wifi password momma. Wifi is a privilege not a right. I’d she’s under your roof she needs to respect that
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Give her the option to either do her schooling or go get a job and pay rent. Tough love. She has a kid. She wants to make grown folk decisions. Then she can have grown folk responsibilities.
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I was a 16 year old mother. Far different scenario. My parents from the go told me my baby was MY responsibility. They didn’t help me other than provide us shelter. I got a job. I bought diapers, worked, went to school full time. My parents kicked me out of their home when my daughter was 4 months old. I graduated high school with honors. I hold two college degrees. My daughter is now almost 23 and works for homeland security. From a 16 year old mother to you…your daughter is no longer a child, she is a mother. Regardless of her age she is an emancipated adult by law. You are treating her like a typical child and you are wrong. You want to help her? Stop all the petty taking of things etc. Make her be accountable for her actions or she will fail. One more thing…she slept with the boy. That doesn’t make him or her bad. They are both responsible. Teens are teens and shit happens. These are the cards dealt. What they do with them is their business.
Tough love can hurt like hell, but dometimes it has to be done. If she wants to act like s grown up and make her own decisions let her but not in your house. Tell her to shape up or ship out, let her try living somewhere else and see how wuick sje straightens out it hurys i know, but it hss to be done
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Pretty disgusting half of these comments.
Talk to her about enrolling the baby part time for her to go to school. Even parents that aren’t minors still go out and see friends away from kids. She probably feels like she’s stuck there locked up in that house. And that’s why she’s acting out. Help her fill out job applications for places so that she can work weekends. Instead of judging/blaming everything on the boyfriend help your child. When she gets her first check take her to lunch and take her to a store and to the baby section. She will feel better about herself thinking/knowing she can buy/provide for her baby. You will likely see an improvement in how she acts.
Make a schedule at home for her and help her get baby into a routine. Tell her that if the boyfriend comes over he needs to help with the baby or they need to go to his place.
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You answered your own question really. She is a minor and lives under your roof and eats your food and I’m sure you are supporting her and the baby. I think if it were me I would first get legal counsel and get custody of the baby, and put her back in the brick and mortar school. The farther away from him the better. He is bad news and he is going to keep dragging her down. If he is not a minor get a restraining order on him. You need to GET HIM OUT OF HER LIFE !!! And I really think the Judge would agree. She is going to hate you for a while but will thank you in the long run. And she may " run away " then if need be send her away. A rehab center for troubled teens might do her a world of good. You have got to play hard ball. Not just for her sake but for your Grandchild’s. You are shaping their future even if she won’t. Stay strong 
. Love is not easy. Good luck. 
Prayers my friend.
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I would start with sitting down with her and writing out the rules and going over them.
I would also start making her pay for everything for the baby. Meaning she needs to get a job.
If you make it easy for her she’ll continue to go down this path. If she wants things she’s gonna have to earn things. Like a car like a phone like the Internet. I would actually not let her have the Internet I put a password on it and if she wants it she’s gonna have to pay for it.
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Change the Wi-Fi password and log her on yourself only to do school work and then log out afterwords
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Having a kid at 16 u could prevent this from happening but now it’s too late so u have to be strong and it be more hard on you and her now wish u luck
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You need to hold you kid accountable. You’re making excuses for her and blaming others. She will mimic this and continue it into her adult life.
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If it weren’t for her having your grandchild. I’d kick her ass out. She wants to act like an adult. Then she can go be an adult elsewhere other than your house
She in your house it’s your rules. And if she can’t obay by them put her in the court for being disobedience.
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I’m laughing at the “I trusted his parents were decent people” I bet they think the same about you. Stop blaming the behavior on others. Could she be influenced by her boyfriend? Yes. But at the end of the day these things were still her choices. She may be a child herself but she’s also a mom so she needs to learn to grow up. Take the things you pay for, including internet. If she wants to act grown then she needs to also get a job to pay for the things she wants. It’s time for some tough love but at the end of the day her decisions are her own and she’s gonna act out more before anything gets better.
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Having kids is hard but u must put in the work so later u won’t have too.
16, still a minor, I’d get the courts involved.
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Honestly… I’m hearing a lot of blaming the boy for doing this to her… which is highly impossible because it takes 2 to make a child. Your daughter made the choice to smoke some weed… and probably for good reason. Your living situation seems stressful… then with the lack of dad in the picture, it seems to be a ton of pressure just on your daughter to do right. Are you doing right by her?? Like besides pushing her to graduate school… are you treating her like you resent her behavior and what’s happened??
Here’s the deal… your daughter got pregnant because she was already lacking proper guidance, then you are blaming the boy for doing this to her while at the same time she is facing the pressure of being a teen mom living with her mom and her mom wants her to graduate. Are you wrong for trying to take something you didn’t buy… probably. But if you want your daughter to be a successful teen mom, you MUST give her the proper guidance. You can’t bully or force her to do things your way. This is no longer a one way street… this is a whole 4 way intersection. Other lives are involved… sit down and and actually talk WITH your daughter. Ask her if she’s doing okay. Ask her where you can back off a bit or where your help might be needed more. Communicate with your kid… or you run the risk of losing your kid.
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She had a baby. She’s an adult now. Whether she’s a minor or not. She should get a job, and start paying rent and if she don’t like it then I guess it’s time for grandma to take custody over. Sad but true, some 16 year Olds I’ve seen be the best parents at their young age and yet some still want to be a KID themselves. Help her and encourage her.
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I think she may need counseling. PPD is real and dangerous. I was a mom at 18 it lasted years and nobody realized what I was going through. Just thought I was useless and lazy, until I thought the same about myself. She doesn’t know she’s depressed, she’s trying to escape her mind.
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No offense but your just as easy to blame as the other parents. Your daughter is probably overwhelmed and depressed. Instead of trying to control her life just be there for her as guidance. Have a talk to her about her goals and how you can help her accomplish them. You will get much better results. Doing online school is not easy though. If you can help her with childcare so she can go back to in class learning. Sign her up for some single mom parenting classes that are local so she can see how much of a struggle it will be without her education. She still needs alone time just like any other parent does at any age. She still needs a social life. I’m not talking about going out and smoking and partying and neglecting her child, but some sort of outside social interaction. In some states she would qualify for assistance even if she lives at home. Maybe look into getting her on some for daycare.
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Yes you actually can take it away from her and he can pick it up from the two of you with the cops if he wants to be a lil punk about it. There would be no theft charges so feel free to take that from her as well as ransack her room for the vape and weed. She’s 16 not 20. Just because she skipped some things and had a baby doesn’t mean she’s grown. So parent as you see fit. Yes he will likely give the tablet back to her and she will defy you again but continue to do it and he will eventually get bored and leave.
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You cant take things she paid for. If ur also causing them to have very little communication…
Your a dead beat as thats the father of her child and they should be able to speak whenever. This is not a relationship you can fully intervene with step back and watch and support but your trying to control a situation that you have very little say or do over and in my opinion no wonder your daughter is retailiating. She had a baby she know has to act and learn to be an adult. And ur still putting her in a child placement. Step back and reqlize the situation for what it really it. She smoked weed. Not crack. Thank god she went that route rather than the half cracked out moms out there. Ur taking this wayyy to far and i see severe consequences for both you her and baby if yall cant get ur shit straight.
By the sounds of it you’ve done nothing about her taking accountability for anything. He made her do this…he got her into that…his parents allowed them to have sex…Now you’re at a loss for her not being responsible for her own education?
I wish you the best of luck. And I hope in time your daughter sorts herself out.
Honestly if shes living under your roof, she’s to follow your rules or get to stepping…
Sit her down and explain to her how really hard it is on her own to raise a child and trying to find a job with no diploma
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First off what you need to do is take a cantability as a parent and admit that you messed up and then from there you need to sit down with your daughter and you need to give her an ultimatum and let her know she had a child she’s living in your home for free and in order for her to do that she needs to continue to go to school if not she can put herself on food stamps and get a job and figure it out if she’s grown enough to spread her legs and get pregnant then she’s grown enough to deal with the consequences. In a situation like this you’re completely in the right as a mother trying to guide her child but your child doesn’t want the guidance she’s being defiant and you can’t blame your daughter’s boyfriend for the way your daughter acts she makes her own choices regardless of who influences her or who put stuff in her head at the end of the day she makes the choice and at the end of the day it’s your home. If you have to take the baby from her and kick her out sometimes that’s what young moms need especially one that’s so easily enabled by her parents to be lazy.
This is where you’re wrong. Don’t ask for it. Take it. Your house your rules. And doesn’t get to decide if she gets punished or not.
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First you need to put some responsibility on your daughter, you keep blaming him, his parents, her bio dad, everyone but her. She has no accountability. Yes you can take whatever you want from her. Stop letting her boyfriend come around, get some type of custody of the child, the innocent one in all this, take control by making her accountable. Sounds like some counseling is needed for all of you too. Good luck
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I’ve been through this except for the having a baby part. We were very strict on my daughter and tried everything from age 16 to get this one boy out of her life. He finally moved out of state at 17 but they continued the relationship. As soon as she turned 18 she moved two states away to be with him. Eventually she had to learn the hard way for herself. Somehow she’ll have to see for herself or this battle will continue. My daughter lives 26 hours away now. She is 30, has a great guy now and a newborn. We talk on the phone but still I feel like I pushed her away. I miss her here. I hope everything works out for the best for you all.
It’s not the cookouts fault, his parents, or the boyfriend alone that got her pregnant. You can’t “make” someone vapor or smoke weed, it’s physically impossible. She’s a child who has a child. You can’t take away her means of communication, as a parent, I couldn’t imagine not having a phone with a child. You determined she was old enough to give birth to a child, to be responsible enough to raise a child. One of the hardest things an adult could possibly do. There’s a fine line with reeling that back in. Having a child is a huge decision for an adult, let alone a kid. She’s dealing with huge adult responsibility while trying to still finish being a kid. I can’t imagine how confusing it is for her.
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First, you are in the wrong for trying to take her stuff. And for being judgemental.
At the same time, you are a mother struggling and watching your daughter hurt herself. So your over reacting is normal. You love your child and want what is best
I suggest family counselling. Alot of it
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Probably unpopular opinion, but I would’ve smashed that tablet… right in front of her… with a hammer. I would also probably talk to his parents, and set up a parenting time schedule for your grandchild to visit with the father. Ground her little ass! She’s 16! Tough love mama. Have her get a j.o.b.! She’s gonna have to learn to provide for that child one way or another. She chose to lay down with that boy, & for the next 17 years, she’ll have to be responsible for that decision. Tell her that her free ride is over & it’s time to start learning to be a more responsible functioning member of society.
You are a great parent. And this is my opinion only. You are making her life too easy. Part of growing up is learning from your mistakes. You did your best in helping her after her pregnancy. You still allowed her to live at your house and go to school and I’m assuming helping with the baby. Something not every teen mom has an advantage to do. She has a great support system that she does not appreciate. If she appreciated everything she has, she would not be acting like this or disrespecting her parents by her actions. She would be trying her best to improve her life and return the kindness to her parents. Maybe it’s time to talk to her, lay down the facts and give her the option, him included, to follow your rules or she has to move out. Or charge her rent and put her baby dad on child support. I know it will be painful if she chooses to move out but it’s unfair to you parents her not following the rules. She’s a mom now. I know she’s young but if you’re old enough to get laid and have a baby, you need to be mature enough to face the consequences. If your grandchild is ever in danger, get emergency custody until she could prove she could do better. I know it sounds tough but I was a dumb 16 yr old that decided to move out. Best believe I regretted it after a few months.
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I was this teen. To a T. My daughters father was controlling and abusive and because I loved him… nobody could tell me nothing.
Good news is… I eventually grew up and matured and realized he wasn’t the one and straightened up. That wasn’t before becoming a teen mom and dropping out of school, etc. unfortunately.
See if she will go to counseling.
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Your post is full of blame towards the young father, get rid of the attitude towards him which will give you a better chance to actually working alongside them, they’re parents now. Treating a person like a child but expecting them to do adult things is confusing and slightly abusive on your end.
Seems like young dad is acting like your baby daddy. I think it’s unrealistic to expect something from a 16 year old that your baby daddy can’t give you. Kids only know what they are taught
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As a parent I know we want our kids to be perfect angels. It doesn’t go as planned unfortunately. I wish I had parents who sat down with me. Parents who I could go to when I needed without judgment. Since I didn’t had those parents I became a sneaky teenager. The best thing is to take a deep breath and pick your battles. If she feels like you are completely taking everything away from her she will have more reasons to do it. Ask her what she needs? What she wants? What her goal is when she becomes an adult? What she wants to accomplish? Talk about the consequences of her actions and how it can affect her baby.
I was 15 when i got pregnant 16 when o had my birth son… Your daughter isn’t ready to grow up and seems the more you push her the more she’s gonna push back… i would one… get full custody of that baby or consider adoption… Don’t let that baby go traumatized because you wanted your daughter to be a good mom… She’s evidently not in a good head space to be a parent.
So give her ultimatums
She goes to counseling, she gives up her right or as a family you place that sweet innocent baby up for adoption…
My mom wouldn’t watch my son when he was born, i wasnt allowed to go out, i couldn’t smoke weed… school or work was mandatory… My mom died three months later and that’s why I gave my son up. I knew I was shit mom and I didn’t want him growing up messed up. The most selfless thing i did was give that baby a home…
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Right hang on this girl had a baby but your still parenting her? I had my oldest at 16 and moved out 7 months later into my own place with my baby and boyfriend at the time, my mum was there for support but she let me figure sh*t out by myself until I really needed her 
Maybe it’s time to stop trying to parent the parent and let her figure this out for herself! Just be there in the back ground if or when she needs support, She could have PND/PPD but you won’t know until she is made to be an adult but then not treat like a child because that’s messed up in itself!
Stop blaming the child’s father n grandparents. Your daughter has her own mind. Keep pushing n you will loose her. Give your daughter control, but always make sure your granddaughter is safe, if she fails, get s/s involved.
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So I was that 16 yr old girl with a baby living with my parents. I was very rebellious so my parents took me out of school and had me take G.E.D classes. They were very strict. My boyfriend was a bad influence but I was young and I left home to go live with him and our child. Sometimes strict isn’t the answer because I remember thinking I have a child I no longer neer to parented anymore. Back then we didn’t have fb and tiktok. I know you may not like my suggestion but seek out a counselor to help you figure out the best way to go. I just don’t want her to runaway or you end up raising the child.
Your house your rules - if she doesn’t like it - she can leave - but baby stays with you. That baby is the priority of all this. Your child has made bad decisions and keeps on making them because you are enabling her. That’s not a bad thing - you are a good Momma - but she is using you heart against you. Inform her she can get her shit together- get a job or go to school- save for her own place and her child. As far as the boyfriend same with him - either be it for the long haul or start kicking rocks down the road. Either this way or the hard way through courts. You will win - healthy environment, nourishment, and a home…. Want does she have to offer:heart:work on your communication with her - remember she’s a kid making adult decisions. Be strong - you are a good Momma -
Okay so a few things, blaming anyone for the things that are going on isn’t going to get you anywhere, because you could just as easily blame yourself for the position that your family is in. If your daughter doesn’t want to keep up with school I’d tell her to get a job. Also if you’re worried about getting in trouble for her truancy, I’d talk to the school and tell them the situation, as I’m sure your daughter isn’t the first to have this problem. I wouldn’t personally take anything away but as a parent you are allowed to make that decision. I’d focus on creating a better relationship between you your daughter and the father of your daughters child. Maybe family counseling will help as well. Your daughter should understand why you are excepting her to finish school, but if she doesn’t it’s probably immaturity, and counseling may help you two communicate in a positive way. Also, there are plenty of schools that offer in person for a young parent. Programs that will help with childcare while she attend school.
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In some states once a minor becomes a parent she is considered an “adult.” I don’t know how true this is since she depends on you for a roof etc. You need to go see an attorney who specializes in family law. They handle juvenile matters and most offer a free consultation.
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Oh I’m so sorry ! Hugs and prayers sweetie hope she wakes up and realize you only want what’s best for her:heart:
She is a parent herself now!!! Your taking her stuff away what the… Sounds like the parents need some help
Well I had my first born at 16 and I still lived with may parents I too was a total mess my partner (who was 5 yrs older than me) was not mature… My parents however were supportive as hell and we figured out I had postnatal depression and I’m so thankful they didn’t act like you!!! I feel sorry for your kid she’s dealing with adult things but being totally undermined by you and treated like a child… School isn’t everything she can always catch up (I did in the end) I think right now you should be more concered about her mental health… She’s in a shitty relationship possiabily has postnatal depression is trying to mother a child and has you banging on about how bad she is at it all and forcing her to also try and get an education at the same time… She’s only a kid and you are her parent so maybe instead of blaming her and everyone else you should also take account of your own failings and think about what went wrong in your own house to lead your daugher down this path… Then maybe be a bit more supportive
If she is not in therapy/counseling I would encourage it and stop blaming everyone else for her decisions. No matter what the boyfriend does she has the capacity to say no and it is just as much her decision to do what she’s done. Could she pass the GED maybe instead of dragging out the school junk? Make a deal with her that she either needs to work towards school or go get an actual job to help support her child.
Tell her to go live with him and his parents see how long before she’s back and then listening x
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No matter what when she is living under the same roof and still under age she needs to follow your rules. You need to be consistent and follow thru.
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Just ideas because I’ve not been in this position…
She’s under your roof, you can take anything away from her.
Change the wifi password maybe
Make her get a job
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I had my first baby at 16. I had my struggles for sure, but I guess I’m having a hard time understanding why the very sight of her baby doesn’t make her want to do better in life? Sure she’s young but now she’s a mom. It’s time to forget certain childish things and buckle down to self goals and focus on how she can fully care for another person.
Come up with ways to help her realize the responsibility of her baby relies on her becoming self sufficient. No doubt the age is difficult but if she won’t focus on schooling to better herself perhaps her ged then a cleaning job will remind her of that?
I took night class while my mom watched baby and I worked at a hotel in housekeeping at 17 until later I worked how to further my education on my own time.
Don’t try to do too much for your daughter that she can figure out how to do right now. Her age makes it difficult but she has got to learn how to grow up quicker right now
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Let her do her thing, just dont help her. Let her figure it out. Dont buy her diapers, dont buy her baby formula, bit buy her anything and change wifi password and dont allow the bf in the house. He needs to call and make arrangements to come over. You might not be able to control her but you can set your rules and boundaries. Also dont baby sit unless she wants to further her education or get a job.
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Yeah there’s a lot of blame in here. His parents aren’t decent people because your daughter had sex? He is making her do this and that. No. Yes people can be poor influences but it comes down to her and her choices. Sounds like she may not have been taught the right things about sex and relationships to begin with. If you want her to act like an adult then you need to make her take responsibility like one. However, if you want her to act like a child then you need to accept she won’t be in the mind frame to take care of her child like an adult mother would. She can’t be both. Plus she is young so she’s growing and learning. I personally would have had her on BC but what’s done is done so I suggest some tough love. She wants to be an adult then get a job and pay for the internet that iPad is on. Don’t pay for any of her electronics. Let her taste what it’s like to be a real adult so she can realize how much she does need you. I would also sit down with his parents to set a clear guideline of what his responsibilities are going to be in terms of taking care of his child. If he can’t participate then I would have him put on child support and suffer the legal consequences if he doesn’t uphold his end.
In most states, once a minor has a child they’re considered emancipated. So, the truancy would be on her in that case, not you. I’d check into laws in your state. I’d also call the school and see what they suggest. Get her into therapy, she may have ppd. If she wants to make adult decisions, she gets adult consequences. I would tell her that if she doesn’t want to finish school, then she needs to get a job and find her own place to live. Stop try to parent her by taking electronics and such, that ship has sailed… same goes for bossing the boyfriend around. He may be a piece, but that piece got your daughter pregnant. I’d talk to his parents, maybe have a sit down with everyone and set up a schedule so the child’s father can be more involved. Maybe he doesn’t come around much because he doesn’t want to be around you 
my mom parented me after I got pregnant, so I moved out. I did finish school, as that was important to me. But man, I could have really just used support from my mom… if she didn’t try parenting me so much, I would have stayed with her and avoided a very abusive relationship. A lot of teens just don’t get how detrimental having a baby can be on multiple facets of life. You have to guide her, stop punishing her and just try guiding her… get her therapy. Get support from the boyfriend’s parents. You may be surprised at how everyone responds.
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Your roof…your rules! Kind of late to set rules now but you can start to enforce the ones you already have, if any. If she’s 16 then she old enough to get a job and take care of herself. Get custody of the baby and show her the door. No one has ever died from tough love!
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I’d work on getting custody on her kid. Sounds past your power for your daughter, but I wouldn’t let them drag the baby down with them.
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Get custody of the baby.
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She is still a child, your house your rules.
Change the wifi password. Sit down with her lay down some rules. Help make a visitation and call schedule for him to spend time with her and the baby. I’d personally talk to his parents also about his interference. Make her take local parenting classes. And I’d also make her get a job if she doesn’t have one. She is a mom now and needs to learn responsibilities. She needs to realize she is no longer just a teenager now, she has a little one to care for and raise. And family counseling wouldn’t hurt.
Just make sure when you set down your rules and boundaries, that you come from a place of love and support. And that though she may not like these changes, they are what is best for her to get on the path of being a good person and mom to her child.
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Don’t let the bf back. Set up certain days, place and times he can see the baby supervised
First of all she didn’t get pregnant by going to this guy’s parents house for a cook over. She’s been fooling around with him for a while. Once she had her baby, she is no longer a child, nor she is not under your controls anymore. But with that said, since she is living under your roof, give her options. First, to get her shit together or out she goes. Finishing school is very important & she has to realize that. And you need to stick to what you tell her. And this is coming from someone who got married at 16, because I was pregnant. Had her when I was 17 & second one by 19, left the prick I married by 20. Got divorce back in 1976. Went back got my GED, became a hair dresser, then when to college got a degree in nursing. Became a RN when my daughter graduated HS. Just retired 21 months ago. Now a very happy 68 yr old. And I did this all by myself. 
Set the rules & stick to them . She has to grow up . And she is not a child anymore, remember that.
Can’t put the blame on anyone but your child for not doing what is expected of her. No one is forcing her hand in any of the things she is taking a part of.
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A similar situation happened with my sister my dad and stepmom couldn’t control her before or after she had her baby at 16 she ended up leaving with the baby getting in a fight with the baby daddy now he’s got nothing to do with it and CPS has made a case. But honestly its probably the best thing that’s happened. She and her son have now been placed in a group home she’s been given a job babysitting the other kids children and now she has structure she has to listen to because she is minor so even having a baby in her stage she’s still under their command. I hope it doesn’t get to that point for you but maybe letting her know how it goes for somebody else might scare her a little bit and make her appreciate the fact that you allowed her to stay under your roof and continue to care for her and her child regardless of how she’s been. Don’t give up on her but honestly should probably need a wake up call. Good luck momma
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I was a mother at the age of 16 was treated like an adult once you decide to have that baby your no longer a child, regardless if you stay at your parents or not
Treat her grown she needs to learn from her actions
Its nobody fault but her own
If she’s serious about getting education she would look for a school that has a daycare.
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Get her back in school and get a babysitter or daycare for the baby while she’s at school
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Yes tell her it’s your house and your rules. She doesn’t like it then she can go somewhere else. If she doesn’t want to do school work then she needs to get a job and put the baby in daycare. She isn’t a kid anymore and she needs to stop acting like one. Yes she is young but when she got pregnant she became and adult.
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Kick her out- get custody of your grand baby. Let her deal with him and have her happy after with him and she will then realize she made a HUGE mistake prioritizing him over her child and schoolwork. I was once in her shoes, this is what my parents did. It worked. I’m now graduated, work full time, and love my daughter to every end of the earth and am finally there for her the way I should’ve been the whole time.
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1st stop blaming your grandildren dad for the choice of YOUR child. She makes her own choices. 2nd stop blaming his parents for anything that Did not do themselves. They did not get your daughter pregnant your daughter and her boyfriend got her pregnant. 3rd think back to when you were a new mother, do you think you would have easily been able to focus on school while dealing with pregnancy or a brand new child? The answer is most likely no. If you are not in the house taking care of her child the entire time that she is trying to do her school work she’s going to fail and not have time to do her work. 4th Check your local laws, a lot of places is after a child has their own child they are considered adult and do not have to attend regular school or can attend modified school that helps work with the schedule that they need so that they can still provide for their child. If you want to blame his parents then you are just as much to blame as they are since U since you and his parents are responsible for your own children and their actions. So if we’re placing blame on parents you need to also blame yourself. Teenagers don’t know anything about taking care of themselves let alone a baby, she needs help with balancing everything. It sounds like you want her to cut the baby’s dad off and focus on herself, but he’s the babies dad and not your place to decide who she allows in her child’s life. Especially if it’s the father of the child. That could potentially cause a lawsuit against your family for denying a father his parental rights perit’s alright. You also cannot take electronics from anybody even if it’s in your household if you have not purchased it yourself and they are technically considered an adult. If you are paying for it you can take whatever you want but the tablet that he purchased for her is not yours to take. If you think that she is doing so bad as a mother as it is coming out in your post then maybe you should take the steps to take custody of the child so that she doesn’t have to worry about the baby and can focus on herself and her schooling and you can raise that child the way you want to.
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Former teen parent here (37 now) and you are not in the wrong for enforcing boundaries with your daughter. Remember, she might be responsible for the care of her child, but you are responsible for her care until she’s 18 legally, just not medically. Not sure what state you live in, but in mine they have what’s called a CRA (child requiring assistance) stubborn that a parent can file until their child turns 18 for failing to comply with reasonable expectations.
In my case, my mom was adamant in not letting me marry my BD (thank God!) and she assisted but made it clear that my baby was my responsibility and only watched him when I was at work. Fast forward to now, my son is 21, in college and I’m in a doctoral program. I’m sure there are variations between my experiences and your daughter’s but there is hope with the right boundaries and expectations.
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#1 it’s not his parents fault your child got pregnant. That’s your child and the boys fault
#2 As long as she’s 16, she and the baby are your responsibility legally to parent.
#3 your house, your rules. I don’t care if Jesus sent her the iPad, it would be sent back.
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you can’t really cut off her contact with the outside world. You admit you see him gaining influence over her and her going down the wrong path but you’re not really treating her in a way I can see her growing closer to you, at this age, and given she is a young mother herself. My grandma didn’t have her moms approval but had my mom when she was 16 and my grandma has since been a french teacher, a nurse, bagged the (younger) mayor of her new town after she came to canada a young divorcee with 4 (!) kids under 5. Have some faith that your daughter has a wonderful life ahead of her. Of course she should take care of her child. It’s really not fair for us all to judge a 16 year old who had a baby in a pandemic. None of us have done that it’s no small thing. What these young people are going through is no small thing
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You are wrong for trying to take or even punishment her. She’s basically an adult herself now that she has her own baby. The more you push punishment, the more she rebels. Treat her like an adult. Like how you would expect to be treated by another adult.
We have already told our oldest that if he doesn’t want to be in school, he better go get a job to help with bills. If he decides to stay in school, whether it be college, university, what ever, we will do all we can to help him and try to make things easier on him.
Can’t treat her like a child no more though. Especially with stuff you didn’t even pay for. Saying from experience myself, I rebelled hard against my mother for being to overbearing and strict.
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I had my oldest when I was 15. The rules my mom set were that I HAD to finish high school. I tried the online schooling also but I was failing as well so my mom put me back into school in which I finished. I did have help with my sister watching my son while I was at school. Is that an option for her at all? Make her go back to school to finish.
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First off, stop blaming him for all of her decisions that she has made and continues to make. She is her own person and if she wanted to change or take a different path she would. I personally would put the child in daycare and make her go to school. Besides that I have no other advice but stop blaming everybody else for what she herself is doing…… Sorry you are stuck in this horrible position.
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Not knowing all state laws and how they may differ, but here is Michigan, the fact that she is a young mother means she is already legally emancipated — and you didn’t even have to go to court –– it happened at the birth of her baby. However, your house, your rules –– even guests would have to abide by. All you can really do is keep guiding her and continue to be there for her and your grandchild — until you just can’t. She has a lot of growing up to do, and one day, I hope she comes to that realization.
In the meantime, make her get a part time job.
Make her contribute somehow.
Make her buy things for her child.
Make her life not so cushy as it might have been during her childhood.
Talk with her, often, on her life path and what she wants for her and her child’s future. Perhaps your daughter needs to talk to a therapist — being a young mom brings all kinds of worry she does’t even know how to process yet; heck, some adults go through the same.
The boyfriend ALSO needs to abide by your rules when he’s at your house.
…and learn to change your wifi passcode.
It’s such a difficult balance, I feel for you. 
Best of luck.
First off I would file for custody of of grandchild because I bet she’s not going to want to take care of it. Then she would with me or through courts finish her school. Under no clue let her remove the baby from your home. She was too young and she’s going to be ready to run first chance she gets.
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Sounds like someone spoiled their kid for too long
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What I’m about to type here is my opinion and my opinion only: I’m not willing to argue with anyone over it.
1- if she has worked for the electronics they are hers. This is basic human respect. You don’t demand it, it is either given or not. The fact that she is your daughter makes no difference here.
2- she’s 16, feels like she’s in love and has just had a baby. She needs GUIDANCE and COUNSELING, not a dictator. Try and put yourself in her shoes more often. These things can be hard on your child, and can leave a lasting impression on YOUR GRANDCHILD
3- like others have stated, she may have gotten the electronics without your help, but she doesn’t pay for the WiFi. If she wants to use it she needs to be respectful
4- have more open talks. This will be hard at first, but will continually get easier. Stop thinking about her as your child, start thinking about her as a mother. She’s no longer just a child and she probably doesn’t know how to deal with things the way that you and I do
5- stop with the blame game. Your daughter ended up pregnant at a young age. Boo hoo, welcome to America. It happens. Had more parents spoken reasonably with their children about SAFE sex instead of the whole “sex is bad” bs, it probably wouldn’t happen as often. But we were raised in a world where abstinence was the only answer.
I too was a young parent (not 16, but 18), anyone who tried to tell me how to raise my children was immediately cut off. Don’t give advice if she didn’t ask for it, it comes across as “I’ll always be better than you”. And being a “drop out” is not the worlds worst mistake she will get her life together when she’s ready. BUT when she is ready, make sure that you’ve been supportive enough to be the person she turns too. Because I know from experience, the way that some of y’all act, you’re going to suffer for.
I think it’s time you use tough love. I know it’s hard but yes take all electronics that you have bought or pay for. Make her pay for her own. Start charging her rent and if she doesn’t pay then kick her out, I know it sounds harsh but she has to learn some how. Teens think they know everything. Lay down some ground rules and have her sign it. If she breaks the rules, then fulfill whatever consequence you come up with. Or she will continue to manipulate the situation like she is. She knows what she is doing and the baby daddy does too. Stay strong and firm. And pray pray pray Momma❤️ sending you strength and loves!
Is she paying for anything? If the answer is no show her tough love. Can you take custody of the babe? I’d explain that since she wants to act this way she will not have a say over the babe and she is more than welcome to leave if she doesn’t like how you do things. If she wants to be treated like she’s grown she needs to act like it. Do school work, take care of her child, get a job, and pay for her own things. My kids are still too little but we’ve discussed the possibility of them becoming teen parents. We will help anyway we can as long as they are willing to do their best. Her BF isn’t forcing her to make poor decisions she’s doing that on her own.
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If she is old enough to have a child maybe she needs to step up and find a job and consider night school at some point. Consider helping her find a place to call her own also. You can’t stop her from having relations with this guy but you can control him coming to your property. Cut off wifi to said tablet and tell her that if she wants the password she needs to either pay for it or go to the local library. She should be contributing to the home financially anyway. She felt she was old enough to pull down her pants to play she is old enough to pay for her and her child.
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Just take it… regardless of who paid for it. YOU’RE the mom. That’s your house. Stop letting her walk all over you. It’s never going to get better if you don’t take charge.
Those saying you shouldn’t punish her cause she has a baby and is basically an adult are soooo wrong, coming from someone who got pregnant at 16. My parents let me do what I wanted and I wish they didn’t. Wish they gave me guidance and made me finish school. I am now 24 with 3 kids trying to finish high school. Stay on her ass. Keep being her mama and take that iPad away. She’s in your house under your rules and care. Don’t let her walk all over you.
Maybe it’s time you looked at the world thru her eyes. She had a baby. With someone she thought would be around to help. Here she is probably feeling alone and abandoned by someone she loves. Then you throw her parents in that are still treating her like a child. That isn’t a baby doll she has. It’s a baby. Yes there should be boundries. And yes she needs to finish school. But somewhere you have to show her that everything will be okay. She is overwhelmed. She is lost. And she needs her mom. Not a drill sargent.
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I’d kick her out and see what happens. Treat her like the adult she desperately wants to be. She doesn’t wanna do school? Fine get a GED and go to work. She needs to do something and all you’re doing is enabling her by taking care of her financially and her baby.
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Oh damn. I just don’t even know.
You only have a couple options it seems like.
No parent would prefer to have to kick out their own child and go to court for guardianship,
But that might be your only logical starting point If nothing else has changed with her behavior.
I’m not sure what I would do. I’m dealing with a 17 year old and I’m in no position to give advice at this point lol. I do have empathy though for your situation as far as parenting goes kids just kinda usually end up doing their whatever thing until they find out what being an adult and able to support themselves…it’s only sad when it has to be them learning how rough life is without having the support they need and are used to when there is a baby involved. It makes it even harder to find a solution because it’s just that much more complicated. I’m sorry you are going through this. I’m sure it will pass but it seems like an eternity of shit most parents probably don’t deserve.
He got her pregnant? Well that’s an ignorant statement
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She needs to physically go to school and the 1 year old needs to go to daycare while she is in school. She needs to take care of what she needs to take care of. Lay down the rules you are still her parent.
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You do know it takes two to get pregnant right? Before allowing her at his house you should’ve made her an appointment to get contraception, who knows if his parents were even home? I just love how it’s the boys fault all the time smh
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Here’s where tough love comes into play…If she is grown enough to have a child and do grown things she needs to step up to the plate. The fact that you’re supportive and have housed her and baby…helped her…and are still getting treated that way is unacceptable. She is responsible for her actions REGARDLESS. Yes she may be feeling a certain way…or may be struggling with change…maybe she thinks because she is a parent she no longer needs to be parented. Either way…she needs to be responsible, respectful, and grateful. You have a right to set rules and boundaries in YOUR house. With this being said I would definitely look into counseling with her so you both can get a perspective and come together. At the end of the day though… she needs a rude awakening because the world will not have mercy.
Everything cost $$$. Quit paying for everything, start charging her rent & keep the baby daddy out of your house.
All else fails, move far, far away. Out of sight, out of mind, the little turd will eventually leave ur daughter alone.
Reality check time. She wants to act like an adult she can take on the responsibility of an adult. School or work is her choice and if she chooses to go to work she needs to start “paying” her part. Now what you do with that money is your choice. You can put it up for her for when she moves out or you can use it for her and her babies needs but either way she needs to understand what she really is facing once she becomes an adult. As a parent we have to make the tough choices and it may seem unfair but really what good are you doing her if your not preparing her for the outside world. As for the tablet it’s hers. The guy bought it and if you take it and he gets mad he can try to say you stole it. I’ve seen it happen to another parent.
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I would suggest that she gets her GED or goes back to school, otherwise she can get a job and baby can go to daycare. You can say No to vaping or weed in your house. And I would say no boyfriend in the house alone unless you want baby #2.
If she has a baby she is considered an adult I think you need to unenroll her and let her get her Ged while it is still fresh in her mind it would take a lot off her and you just an opinion
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Take custody of baby and place her in a facility while you can. Once she’s 18, it’s over. If you are risking jail time in some places, use potential legal fees to get her help, should stop any charges on you
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I would pack up and leave and get her help and you guys start over as one
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How about family counseling? From just you and your daughter to you, your husband, baby daddy and his parents and any siblings, and any combination thereof, a professional can cut through the BS, help everyone think critically, and learn better ways to communicate effectively. It can help everyone to be better parents. Then go from there.