We did a 2-2-5-5 schedule so we didn’t have to wait too long. I had every Monday, Tuesday, he had Wednesday and Thursday and we would rotate the Friday Saturday sundays.
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Kids need both parents involved equally unless one is unfit. It’s about the best interest of the child/children not your wishes.
50/50 is pretty common.
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If he is a good dad no matter the age it will be 50/50
If he is a good dad, the chances are good. If he is in fact a good dad and wants 50/50 custody, why not give it to him? You can’t use the excuse that it will disrupt the kids lives. Their lives are already disrupted by their parents divorcing. If you start now with a 50/50 schedule, that’s what they will be used to. Just have an adult conversation with dad and establish a schedule and rules, that way you both have the same schedule and rules at your houses. It’ll make it easier on the kids and you both.
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My ex and I had joint custody. I lived in NE and he lived in CA, so I had the school year and he had summer and Christmas break.
When our daughter was 19 she told me horror stories of him hitting his wife and other kids in front of her, offering her free range of his liquor cabinet when she was 14, and a host of other things.
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I definitely agree with you. If you are a good mother they should be with you 24/7 and he should see them in the week end. It is so sad for the children . Divorce is a terrible thing for families.
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Most states 50/50 is normal unless you can show issues.
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3 and 7 isn’t too young to be going back and forth spending just as much time with dad as they do mum 
they aren’t babies anymore that need their mum 24/7.
Just like any age though, they will take some time to adjust to the separate households, but they will get use to it. My twins were 2 when I split with their dad, I then moved an hour away but still he gets them EVERY WEEK 2 to 3 nights out of the week!
We just alternate the drive.
They are now 4 and they love going to dads as much as being home with me…
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Sadly they will be shuffled back and forth like possessions rather than human beings.
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My ex husband gets our daughter every other weekend and has been that way since she was 1, she is now almost 4
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50/50 custody has been found to be determental to kids development. Courts don’t care. As long as both parents are fit & wants custody you’re likely to get 50/50. I hope you have a lawyer.
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My son was 2 when I went to court and their ultimate goal is to have u two agree if theirs a fight there was in my case and I tried for full custody for many reasons and still was not granted that due to lack of proof so I got primary residency but joint custody and that is 50/50 visitation it’s hard eventually got easier it’s been 2 years … my lawyer constantly told me their ultimate goal is 50/50 unless there’s drug/alcohol problems or history of abuse in my case there was but I didn’t have enough proof unfortunately but I think the court process straightened out my ex a little … if he’s a good dad and your a good mom u should be equal at the end of the day the kids need u both and hopefully u guys live close to eachother that helps too
In Alabama if you are opposed to fifty/fifty, he’d probably get every other weekend and one overnight during week, like Wednesdays. We aren’t one of those automatic joint states.
If he’s an active father and a good father then he deserves just as much time with them as you do. Not being mean but being a mother does not automatically mean your the better parent or they should be with you primarily.
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Depends on the state . In Pa dads either get 1 night a week and every other weekend or 50/50. Is he an involved/ supportive father lives close he has a great chance of 50/50 . There are different 50/50 schedules . We did 3/4 schedule
Are y’all living close to one another? The oldest is in school and unless you live in the same district where they can get back and forth to school properly then I see no judge granting one 50/50. One will be primary and the other non custodial
I think 50/50 is fair. Children need both parents in their life. 50/50 should always be the starting point unless one of the parents is unfit.
And if your ok with him having weekends and his days off, you obviously don’t think he is unfit.
It’s hard to be without our children. But you’d have to imagine it is for him too. Coparenting is hard, but it is whata best for both children. Work together and the children will do great.
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Imagine trying to limit your kids time with an active and loving father when so many of us have begged and pleaded with our kids’ dads to be part of their lives!! You’re only thinking of yourself, not your children.
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Kids need both parents! My son’s step children are with one parent the same four days every week and the opposite parent the other three days. Luckily they don’t live far apart. It has been great to see these kids thrive the last 10+ years with parents/step-parents all working together to raise these wonderful kids 
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Let him have the kids too and stop being a vendictive bitch! Doesn’t matter how old they are, they deserve to have their dad in their lives as much as their mother. SHARE!!!
My oldest two are 9 and 5, week on week off if the father is a good father don’t deny your children of him or him of his children.
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Fathers deserve just as much time as mothers .
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50/50 doesn’t necessarily mean switching weeks. I have joint custody and am the primary. During the school year, she is with me during the week nights, except Wednesday evening when she sees her dad, and weekends she’s with her dad, except for one weekend that she’s with me. Summer becomes a little more flexible, since school isn’t in consideration. We live in different districts, but about 15-20 minutes away from each other.
Honestly, full custody is for when the other parent isn’t fit to parent. Nothing has been said in reference to that, but it sounds like he wants his time with his kids, and kids should have both parents if able.
The courts do not see their ages as too young to be shared equally between the two parents unless you can show reason that he only be a weekend father then the likely hood of it being 50/50 is very high.
My boys dad and I have done 50/50 since our youngest was 2 years old. They are now 10 and 15 years old. And they are both happy and healthy. They are with me 2 days him 2 days and then when its our weekend they are with us 3 days on whoevers weekend it is.
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I’m assuming you have a lawyer. I would ask for physical custody with visitation and child support (better if the 2 of you agree on this) or the judge will decide. Usually in custody cases they investigate to make sure both parents have the right living conditions and finances to take care of the children…unless there has been child abuse or domestic violence.
3 is old enough for 50/50. Don’t try to keep the kids from their father.
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If he’s asking for shred custody and is a fit parent then the chances are pretty high. A lot of judges are going for shared custody unless one of the parents is unfit.
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Well if he is a good parent and a good provider for them then 50/50 100%… now if he isn’t then the judge will see that and make his decision. But the whole ”they are this age” argument is beyond selfish especially if that’s the only reason you want the primary custody. They need both parents an equal amount. Especially “at that age”
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They are half his and if he wants them half the time then he shouldn’t have to miss out any more than he already is because of the split. The kids are young and will adapt. Don’t make it out to be hard work and a chore and they won’t feel it that way. Make it fun and exciting that they’re going to daddies new place. Have them choose things to take to help make his feel like their home too
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Me and my fiance had a rough patch & agreed Friday-Monday, or Monday- Wednesday depending on his work schedule🤷🏻♀️ If he’s a good father, why wouldn’t he get to see them? && My son’s only 2. 7 is not that young.
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Why you ? What makes you a better parent then him?
What’s wrong with 50/50 ? Sounds like child support
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I’ve never understood why mothers think they have more rights over fathers
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You sound bitter and I hope he does get 50/50
Took both of you to make the children so who are you to limit his time with his children if I was you I’d do some growing up
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I was divorced 49 years ago. My boys were 2 and 4. I wanted their mother to have full custody. I thought then and still think that 50/50 custody is confusing and disruptive to the children. Young children need their mother. I paid child support and saw the kids when I could. I moved to a different town a few hours away but kept in close touch.
The boys are in their fifties today and are just fine. Both are college graduates and have great jobs and families of their own…
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In my experience, kids can adjust fine to a one week with each parent schedule. The important thing is to provide consistency in each home and give the kids love and support. And respect your co-parent, for the kids sake.
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YAY for their daddy!!! As long as he is a good, decent guy and daddy, he deserves as much time with his children as you do! The kids will adjust fine to the time division and they need him in their lives♥️
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My grand daughter does 50/50 split she is almost 10 and she has been doing this since she was 2 it has worked out fantastic! They homeschooling and co parent wonderfully together! She has friends here, she has friends there, she has normal routines even tho they are not the same at both places, when she is done going back and forth both parents have let her know it will be OK, and her choice! To me it does not matter if it 50/50 or 80/20 as long as the parents can coparent and make the child the focus the child will be fine!
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We went to a week on, week off schedule with my daughter after doing the every other weekend, one night a week thing and I’ll be honest, it was the best thing for her. There was so much less transitioning. She was more settled and happier. She got equal time at each home, and had enough time there to settle in and enjoy being there. I’d strongly recommend it. It worked best for us. And as far as their ages? My daughter was 5 when we started this.
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Equal parenting would be the best…in my opinion
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You shouldn’t wait for the hearing, you should say a good father deserves as much time and responsibilities as a good mom. Stop the fight and co parent
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Children will adjust quickly to the arrangement- and switching every week will become the consistent routine.
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I’ve seen 50/50 work really well. Children are very resilient. They can adapt to new schedules. Both parents have rights to see their children as much as possible.
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In Oregon shared custody is becoming the norm. They still have the standard every other weekend thing. Depends on the agreement, if one can’t be reached they have to go through mediation.
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50/50 is great. My ex and I each have our son for 2 weeks. Holidays are split in half unless we aren’t doing anything and the other gets him longer so our son can celebrate. Waking up on Christmas morning alternates years. We also split tax seasons.
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I know in the state I live in you can have joint custody but with one parent being the custodial parent, meaning the children live with that parent full time but both parents have a say in what decisions are made for the children.
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If he is a good father to his children this should not be a question due to alot of children don’t have active parent. Being without both of you in the home might be hard for them also, but for them to know they are still protected and love will help. Either location …
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Most judges give 50/50 these days unless proof of unfit parent. My daughter has 50/50 with her daughter since she was 1 she is doing fine and she’s 3 now
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It is just as important to share with the Father as it is with the Mother. You are both meant to be part of children. It is unfair to the children. It is not their problem how you got there in a divorce.
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Having a good living home and a job will be granted 50/50 unless a more serious reason …can’t always get what you what , the judge with grant what better for the children ,not what’s better for you, I’m sorry it’s blunt but the truth
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The father and mother both deserve equal time with the children. Unless abuse or something will hurt the children.
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Actually it really depends on the judge . When we went to family court the judge we had said no to 50/50 his explanation was in his opinion 50/50 was not suitable for children under 10 . But other judges will do 50/50 from a very young age right down to babies . So when all is said and done it really comes down to the judge and what they personally believe is best . No 2 cases are the same No 2 judges are the same.
My niece was 5 when he parents slip. They always has 50/50 one week on one week off. She would go to the opposite parents house Wednesday nights so she wasn’t away from 1 parent an entire week at a time. Shes now 21 and loved seeing her parents equally.
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It will be 50/50 unless there’s an issue keeping/getting them to school. Be grateful he wants shared custody. It means not carrying the load of parenting by yourself.
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Joint custody in RI is that both parents have equal say in what happens with the children. Visitation is a separate discussion. My ex and I had joint custody, but I had physical placement. He had visitation on the weekends and his vacations and days off. This was due to his work schedule, nothing more. There are so many factors in custody cases. It also depends on the state.
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Given he’s asking for 50/50 and you’re the one asking for full custody, I’d say chances are in his favor. 
child of divorce here. My advice is always encourage the relationship with their dad and never put him down in front of them.
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I heard of at least one case where the judge decided that the children would not move but the parents would. That seems like a good solution and your case. Don’t make the children move out of their home if they’re more they’re comfortable but you and your ex husband should give them moving
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The children will be fine with it…being kept from other parent is paingul…get that through your head
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I think the kids should stay in one house and the parents should have to move in and out!
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Not in this state. He would have to not want half and half or you’d have to prove he’s unfit, and that’s difficult to do. Kids are resilient. They will do just fine going back and forth. It’s better to get them used to it while they are young. Unfortunately, divorce is hard on everyone. That’s why it should be a last resort.
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It should be 50/50. Both parties need to be adults have conversations on how to be consistent in both household it will make it alot easier for the child and adults
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Well…my good ole state of Wisconsin was recommending 50/50 custody and I was hell bent on NO…he’s a drug addict and an alcoholic…they still recommended 50/50 right up until the court date! Thankfully the ex was arrested the day before court for drunk driving and possession! I asked the judge if my children would have their own bunk in jail during his week …needless to say, he lost any chances of any custody AND only supervised visits with a county counselor…he quit paying child support and currently 10 years later…warrants for his arrest for not paying his child support…I’ll never see the money, BUT my children were always safe…that’s all that matters!
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The children need both parents and I do believe judges are preferring the 50/50 split unless one parent can prove the other parent to be unfit or not stable enough to get the 50/50 split.
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It’ll be 50/50 unless proven he’s unfit. When I got my divorce that’s what I wanted because I didn’t want to give my kids issues. As they got older and started school I started keeping them during the week and he got them on the weekends and we shared holidays by our choice, not the courts. Children need both parents. They need their love and support, and parents need to show each other civility around the children.
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My daughter did the week with the kids, father had a week. It worked out very well. They made various agreements such as having them stay in the same school. No male/female company the week the parent had them. There was no bickering about child support because it was not ordered. They both had to maintain health insurance for the kids. This started when my granddaughter was 2. She is now a very well rounded, happy 16 year old. There were very few arguments. In fact the only argument, if you can call it that, I can think of was one of them had car issues so The parent who was not supposed to have the kids had to get them to school and pick them up that week.
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The new normal is 50/50 unless you can prove dad is inconsistent or unfit and age is not a factor whether 50/50 is an option or not… dad can get 50/50 of a 2 week old infant so 3 and 7 is more than likely to get it… courts are now seeing mom isnt the only parent to be able to care for the children and arent the only ones to deserve primary custody like they did in the past
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For school age children it is very tough. My step kids did one week each it was awful for them and for me to watch. They carried all their stuff in a suitcase and disnt feel settled either home.
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Most of the time in my state they split 50/50. You have them one week and he has them the next.
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He will probably get 1/2 custody, both mother and father can take care of the kids equally in the law. Technically he could get the full custody instead of you. and if its 1/2 custody or joint, you will probably to get any child support as he is providing for 1/2 of their living
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As long as they are in the same school district and so forth and he is a good dad and the judge See’s that he will probably get it but I don’t see anything wrong there as long as there is no past abuse and the two of you can co parent properly
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thers not enough information herr to even give a reasonable guess… final say on what happens has to do with mang things… relationship each child has with each parent… distance between homes school.etc… co parenting abilities… stability of 1 or both homes… what the access schedule has been thus far… the care each parent can provide for the child in their home… involvement… many many things
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If the kids are young , custody should be with mother . Dad should have his visitation rights and special times with kids . Reason being don’t want to confuse the kids , as to where they belong or who they live with , until they are old enough to understand .
The courts prefer 50/50 when the circumstance permits. We mutually decided on shared custody when our kids were 3, 4 and 5. You’d be surprised how resilient children are. It is a learning curve but then there already is in a separation. Now they are 11, 12 and 13 and they love going back and forth, and so do we.
My Son was 6 months old and Daughter 5 years old when I got my divorce. Joint custody worked good. I had them during the week and they went with him on the weekends. He was a good Dad but didn’t always show up to pick them up when he was supposed to.
Just mho:
My son in law and his ex have a 5,2,2,5 schedule (50/50 split). The kids have adjusted wonderfully, they know which days they are at their different homes, and holidays are shared or split and there is wiggle room for vacations etc. They were infant, toddler, and preschool at the time of the divorce.
You and the other parent got divorced. The other parent did not divorce the children.
Consistency would be to have both parents as often as possible, like they did before a divorce. So unless the children are in danger, one parent getting more time when both parents WANT equal time with the children isn’t consistent, it’s selfish. It’s hard on kids to just see a parent at alternate weekend intervals. They deserve both parents as much a possible… unless one parent is a danger.
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Unless there is a concern for the safety of the child (and it sounds like there is not), the children should be with each parent equally. It only takes 4 days for a child to begin to have issues from lack of contact with a person they value. It’s not as hard as you may think for children to adapt to week switch schedules. Though it may not be what you want to hear, children are so resilient and will be more well adjusted with both parents equally in their lives. It may be more inconvenient for you, but it’s best for them. Best of luck.
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50/50 is good for the children just make sure when you have them for your time never put their mom or dad down sooner or later they will choose one or the other when they get older. They love both their parents and always remember that
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Here in Michigan it’s not always just automatically 50/50. We had joint custody with their dad getting them every other weekend & holiday & every other week during summer break. We didn’t necessarily follow all of it. We didn’t hate each other & were able to work out amongst ourselves what worked for us & what was best for our kids. For 12 long years.
This is a tough one for me…depends on the living arrangement. Same school…same playmates…etc. He deserves the same rights as you do. Hopefully you can work this out amicably.
Really depends on what state you live in along with the judge or any issues with either parent like abuse or addiction. 50/50 custody is good when they are young but once they enter school they’ll need a more stable environment with a consistent schedule.
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Their relationship with both parents is equally important. Hopefully the judge gives 50/50. Alienating the other parent will just hurt your children more in the long run.
Relax, I had joint custody, back in 1982. It was the best thing I had to do for my children. Yes, I was dead set against it, but the courts ordered joint custody. My ex had the children from January through end of June, and I had the children from July through the end of December. We also had visitation every other weekend. The children were smart, but the parents were smarter, when one child said “dad lets me, “ I called his dad, and said so and so said you allow him to do this, of course dad said no, and I said can you tell him, he is standing next to me. That stop the children from playing the parents. The children got exposure to both parents without the parents living together. Remember what’s best for the children, not what’s best for mom’s fears. My ex made a lousy husband, but did a damn good job being a dad.
One of my friends got shared custody of his daughter. The mother had her during school time and the dad had her in the summer and school vacations. Then I hey switched off and on the holidays. If he had the daughter for Christmas then the next year he would have her. Shared holidays.
Let’s flip that around if you truly are concerned with the children’s best interest. Are you prepared to give up even joint custody and let him have them full time so that they have that consistency? If he won’t budge and the court says no to you will you consider only visiting them on your days off? If you aren’t willing to then you don truly have their best interest at heart.
be glad he wants 50/50 and doesn’t just walk away
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He has to be within a certain proximity within their school so it won’t effect their education. If he’s not then you’ll probably get full custody and he gets them every other holiday. If it is 50/50 then don’t stress too much. Especially if he’s a great father and the kids have a great life.
There are 2 separate issues here. Custody and visitation. Joint custody is when both parents have equal rights and authority over the child. Visitation is another thing. That is the time that each parent has the child physically in their custody.
Just because parents have joint custody it by no means means the time with each parent 50 % of the time that is decided seperately
It’s usually one is primary and the other gets visitation every other week and when school lets out starts off you get first week then he gets three weeks and you get weekends then the week before school starts you have that week to get them back on routine and they usually get phone call times for two days a week when you have them and you get phone time when he has them
young kids should be in the care of their mother only if she is living alone and not with another man. Fathers should be allowed to visit them at home not kids going to his place overnight.
Co parent you’ll regret it if you don’t and it’s worse for the kids in the end especially if the other parent is capable able and loving
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I think most states are adapting to 50/50 custody. I think the majority of the time you only get sole physical custody if the other parent is deemed unfit.
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If you have joint custody, no one pays child support.
My parents divorced when I was 8yrs old. I’m telling you, being able to see one parent every other weekend, is DEFINITELY NOT ENOUGH TIME, go 50/50…
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Depends on the judge and the mood he/she might be in,among other things. Good luck
Hopefully the judge does 50/50 split and hopefully you request a 50/50 split. Unless being with the other parent is harmful to them, as in the parent has drug or alcohol issues or abuse issues, there is no reason a 50/50 split won’t work. Both parents need to be adults and work together for consistency.
I know that one week on and off can be confusing, but they’ll get used to it. I think that an even amount of time between two parents who want to spend that time with them is a good thing. If he was pawning them off on his parents during his visits, that’s different, but if he wants to be as involved as you are, that’s great
My kids were 6 and 12 we got joint custody…he had them every other weekend
Just pray about it an ask God to do what is best for the children an guide the courts decision which well be for the best for the kidd
I was in the same boat I wanted full custody of my kids but its extremely hard to get it . 50/50 will I think be granted which means ye have joint custody and have to agree on things for kids together you can’t decide things yourself (which is a load of 
) you can ask solicitor could he have the kids every second weekend and a day each week, for a week or 2 during summer holidays they don’t have to run together. 50/50 doesn’t mean the children live with you one week and him the next , that would be madness the kids would never settle and totally unfair. You need to be firm and tell solicitor what you want with splitting the kids time up .