Don’t agree with 50-50 for young children. I have seen what it does to young children that age. If the judges were in that same situation in their life, I think they would rethink their decisions. Young children should have stability in their young lives!
If both parents are fit most judges will rule 50/50.
1 Like
How would you feel if this was reversed and your ex-husband only wanted YOU to see the kids on the weekends and your days off? I doubt you’d be happy with that arrangement!
1 Like
For the sake of your kids, it should be 50/50. Unless there are serious issues with abuse or neglect, you need to allow them half time with each parent. It’s just better for the child. Period.
The kids will adjust and thrive from having both parents equally active in their lives.
Good luck. It usually rules 50/50. You would be surprised how Resilient children can be! 
My son’s both got joint custody of their kids ages 2 and 3
50/50. It is only right. Not only for the parents, but most importantly for the little ones. It is not fair for one to get full custody unless for whatever reason one is not fit to be . Remember, dads have been know to get full custody over the moms at times.
Let the father raise his children equally. Can’t believe some people are still like this. Wtf did we fight for equality for??
I’m on the other side of this… it is in your child’s best interest to see both parents as much as possible. My step daughters only see their dad every other weekend and have a really tough time with that.
If their father is a good guy then work with him. Your children in the long run will have both parents. It’s so important! Can you work out a tentative schedule with their Dad and work together to make sure they have what they need? If he is all in! Go for it.
If both are good parents probably joint custody
I think it’s great dad wants 50/50 that means he cares, they aren’t young enough where it would be a problem, what you want and what’s best for the children are two different things. As long as it’s agreed the schooling is taken care of, I’ve seen 50/50 work out perfectly in a lot of cases. 50/50 means less or none child support, is that the issue? I think if an agreement is laid down and communication is good it can work and daddy needs to stay in the picture
A Dad is just important to be in a child’s life as the Mom!
1 Like
Young kids do pretty good. I see this with one of my nieces. He dad is never flexible about letting her do anything with anybody on his weekend. So she misses out on somethings. I think parents should be more flexible. He should have to take her to her events. I could see making her miss spending the night with a friend but not an activity she attends for school. Be carefull but more than likely it will be 50\50 or could be every other weekend.
My daughter had to do 50/50 when her kids were very young even
Depends on the state. In texas mothers almost always get primary custody
50-50 is the norm but it can be very good or very damaging depending on the parents involved. If one parent is an asshole about things then conflict remains and children pay the price.
1 Like
Have you ever thought that he would like to have them like you …and give you weekend access! 50/50 sounds fair! Good luck!
Depends on schooling and daycare I would think, if both parents are fit. If your children staying half time with their dad would mean that they have issues with school attendance or such, then you could bring that up. I know how hard it would be. Honestly, having joint custody is one thing that encourages me to stay.
I think it should be 50/50 too many times the father has been removed from Raising of the children. You will work it out and it’s best for the children.
50/50 is very likely. I’m sorry but if this man is a good father and wouldn’t be a dangerous factor in their lives why would you want to restrict him from being there for his children? This screams motives of revenge. It’s not ok. No matter how awful of a spouse he has been you have to set all those feelings aside and consider his role in your children’s lives and how important that is to them. Your feelings don’t matter. This is about them. Find a way to separate your bias and look at this from their needs.
Living near each other, 50/50 is fair. If he is not a drunk or a father who puts drugs first, 50/50 is fair. They require you both in their lives. They need you both. If you both fiercely love your children, you will choose what is best for them. Their happiness and well being matters more than either of you. They did not choose divorce. Do not make them choose one over the other. 50/50. Blessings to both mama/daddy.
I’m sure it will be 50/50; however, I read a lot about father\mother what I’m not seeing is what is good for the kids. I challenge everyone of to move between two houses for a month and see how it feels! Even if both people love you.
If he is a good father and keeps his word and is financially responsible then I don’t see any reason the court wouldn’t give 50-50
You get joint custody, but you need to apply for residency. That means the kids live with you.
I watched my niece live one week with dad and one week with mom since she was 3. She packed a bag every week. She had all kinds of issues growing up. The biggest was, she never felt permanent. She lived out of a suitcase. She had her own room at both places but, she wanted a toy or outfit that was invariably at the other house. It went on that way until she was 16. Top ten reasons to stay married if at all possible.
1 Like
I think the less transitioning back and forth the better why not once a week on Wednesday night and every other weekend- as a divorced dad i can tell you kids don’t like a lot of shuttling too and fro’ ! If the dad wants equal or more time he can ask the mom for extra time or volunteer to help out - other wise hes gotta get some one to watch them after school get them off to school etc …. He should just be careful what he asks for ( its a lot of work)
normally with joint custody 1 parent is the main place they stay and the other gets rotated weekends and every other year on holidays and birthdays. that how mine went in court. i have the most of the time their dad has every other weekend. i do allow more time also we usually split holidays few hours with me few hours with him. that isnt in the divorce decree that was our choice. we have joint custody. not sure if it same in every state.
From my experience- good and bad - shared is important. However Even with shared - I was their primary home
My husband now tried the 1 week 1 week with his x- absolutely horrible on all levels- more importantly for the kids - they lived out of suitcases and had struggled with many things
Quickly it went to two weeks - two weeks - it was better but this does not resolve much
Bottom line is you will know your kids best and there is no right or wrong answer
Keeping the communications open will help a lot - but sometimes that is not possible:-)
If he’s a good dad maybe you could find a different system. Example: every other month you swap weekdays and weekends. Helps with staggering children home sick days and vacation planning.
All depends. If you are in the same school district or he is willing to transport, then the judge may favor 50/50. Anymore I think that is what judges lean towards. My kids have done week to week since 2011, I have had to transport them to school. My youngest wasn’t even 2 when we started. They actually do better than you think!
At that age you can ask for every 15 days on the weekend, but not the whole week. Well that’s how I do it, but it depends on your relationship with the ex.
If they would go to same school. And have parent care in evening…good
My son is 9 and we do a week on a week off, it’s unfair to a good father like my husband to be limited to only weekends.
It depends on the parents. My ex was a workaholic who was rarely home so shared custody was out of the question. His idea of visitation was having them wait in the car with coloring books and McDonalds while he visited job sites and blah blah with managers. He also would try to deduct whatever he spent on the kids from his child support. I got full custody and the kids went with him whenever they were willing.
It’s hard to say. Really depends on the judge. If it happens the 2 of you should get together and set up some agreement rules so the kids no what to expect in both households
For the k h family the best is to love one another and be a family that the way it should unless there is bad abuse and other thing that bad and can’t be worked out.
I feel sorry for kids these days so much divorce seems like people give up when things get tough. I know very few children who’s parents are divorced kids are shuffled around like objects. They have half siblings that are with their other parent never together on holidays why don’t people stop have kids that aren’t in it for the long hall I m sure everyone will say you don’t know my circumstances your right but I knows our are all damaging your kids. Try being married don’t have kids before and don’t have them if they are going to get moved around grow up and think about them it’s not about you and your feelings
Equal under the law. He is there parent also
Why don’t you ask thus question. To your solicitor as everyone’s case is different not the place to ask these question as will make u confused or have false. Hopes…
Probably 50/50 as with most states…
1 Like
Slim to none. It’s very rare that a judge grants sole residential and custodial custody to either parent. They deem that it’s in the best interest of the child for parents to have equal access and authority over decisions pertaining to the child especially with them being so young. The judge may ask a teenaged child which parent they prefer to reside with but not little ones. Is there any reason that he should not share custody? If so, please make it known in court. I know that it can be a pain but it’ll give you some freedom to reinvent yourself, and have some adult fun. It may be a little rough in the beginning, I get it, but you’ll be alright.
#divorcedsinglemom
#HerSay
Depends on what your state says about custody example: iowa is joint custody state unless you can show a parent isn’t fit
I think you should share custody. Why be selfish. Children need two parents.
My kids are 17 and 19 and I got full custody of them when they were newborn and 2 1/2…their dad had weekend visits ordered by the court but I always let him see them on his days off and vacation. Unfortunately when they were 4 and 6 he stopped coming all together to see them!! His loss not mine as they have grown into amazing young men and have a stepdad and two stepbrother’s that love them and two nephews and my partner’s ex wife is a part of their lives as well!! I’m not sure how things work now but I hope you all can find a happy medium
It depends on the state. My ex asked for every other weekend with the option of once a month (he takes less than this). It’s still shared though, right? So it depends.
They are young. It’ll probably be once a week and every other weekend for him and every other holiday. That’s the norm
Chances are unless your ex is proved to be an unfit parent you will have shared custody.
In NJ it’s Joint custody; primary parent gets residential, unless there’s issues of concern (of course)
Go for shared but primary house is with you. Any judge should understand that they need consistency and spend time with both parents.
Any way you go , if the parents can not and will not get along, the children will still have a living hell to deal with.
Mom’s can teach them things that ladies do. Good to share as long as you both get along.
They go a 5,2,2 5 schedule. My son has this mixed up time
My niece did this with her ex and it has worked them very well.
These days they go for 50 50 unless dad is proven to be unfit
Hopefully 100 %they go for 50 50…they need both parents raising them.unfortunatley patents destroy this by fighting the 50 50
50/50 is good, you get to rest for a week, and they will always come back.
Why ask Facebook. We all have as much idea of what a magistrate or judge will do as you have.
That is the way it should be. For the kids sake.
That would be according on the Judge. Most would say the mother would be the primary until the teenager years.
They are young weekends are fine for now with a revisit at 50/50 when they get older. Maybe agree to 50/50 during the summer when there’s no school or anything like that. I mean inevitably the judge will do what they think is best for the kids so whoever seems to have more structure but also more maturity and ability to care for them will weigh hard. Good luck I just started mine after nearly 30yrs mine decided he wants a divorce after I told him idk how many times over the years to get lost. My kids are all adults so this doesn’t effect me the same but it still is stressful.
In california a couple shared custody and it was the parents who moved in and out.
It should be 50"50 he has as much right as you do.
In Arkansas they just passed a law its always 50/50
1 Like
I had 50/50 but still got child support for one. We had 3 children but my daughter was almost 18.
They call it 50/50 but one parent ends up pulling more weight than the other and its not always the mother either.
Would you be OK with him having full custody and you seeing them only on weekends? Let the man see his kids 50/50
I meant to say she would have her the next year for Christmas.
50/50. You don’t want to give them a chance.
To the awYmay reasonable rights to an ex spouse is aelfish
Hmmmm. Does he have it that way now? I mean that’s assuming you are separated.
The children’s needs must come first.
That’s what it is now unless there is a criminal past or a past that proves one or the other isn’t fit
Makes it hard on the children. Tried it. Sons routine shifted to see if we could keep up 1 wk alternating. Did get it working…but then my work hours changed. Had to do weekends / weekdays formula. ONE is the school Tasker…One is the weekend doer. My ex complained about No weekends for social life. I did the school years. Hard grind. My w days off were a small moment…cdnt tire myself out doing too much fun. EX changed routine…without saying…Son was going to a school far from me. I wasn’t happy. Now the ex did School. It’s Long and hard with Work hrs as well. I got weekends…All about son and I. Ex was happy for weekends off. More time for his trips. Funny he didn’t do trips when w son on weekends. Gf factor…didn’t want to have our son around. ITS Never fair to the kids. Getting adult relationships going…also means sharing time. Bf s not wanting my son around. Too bad. I cdnt fit in dates during the work week. EVERY DAY…being on. YOU know you should have your spouse…bear the weight together. Outsiders will not Carry the efforts for your children. AND the kids don’t exactly switch over to a new adult as you imagine they would. More pressure on 1 parent to be everything for everyone is Unreal. Lucky if u have family that might pitch in. I didn’t. The exhaustion catches up to u whether weekend or weekday parent. Good friends…u ll find out if they are. It’s a big scramble that alters everything you know. Non child oriented persons…you recognize their Time is not given up very easily. U ll have to pay them back somehow. Not many friends will leave work so u can keep working. 50/50. Is highly improbable unless u have many available aunts and uncles. Maybe u took care of their kids at one time. Banked favors. ALL of the timing requires communicating…and different schedules. U can’t talk in the day bc are at work. The ex isn’t answering when Has weekends off. I know the gaps you will face. Weeknight calls…when there s homework and activities …u ll have little if any time for You. Depends on the ex partner …their priorities vs yours. What u want will require whittling down to Need vs Want. Lawyers won’t want to finagle much about feelings. It’s a hard line to walk. Hug your children. Pray u don’t drain yourself. Foundations have been torn to the base. Takes longer to hammer in the framework. Is wise to limit your time outputs and Hold urself and children together. Wait before making decisions about yourself. U will be in high demand before u can actually see how changes work. Take ur time.
It’s different in every state. How much did he play a part in their daily lives before?
It’s called adult conversation and communication
Maybe they should be with him most of the time and visit you on the weekends? 
In Arizona he would probably get 50-50
To much hasn’t been said. Home life? Financial? etcetc
my daughter wanted same thing. he got his way. my granddaughters hate it. this was back in 2016 and youngest was 4
You are so wrong. It should always be equally shared if both parents are willing and able.
6 Likes
Chance 50/50 but you are right too young for shared custody, Mom knows best 
50/50 should be the default, unless one parent isn’t fit. My ex and I have shared custody of our son since he was 2. He’s 15 now and very well adjusted.
3 Likes
It will probably be shared on weekends cause one is school age. May God solve your issues.
Not good split as young as they. My opinion.
He just doesn’t want to pay child support
Unless hes unfit u have little chance at all
Actually…this is better worked out with him in mediation… it can turn fast if you have to let the judge decide… me and my ex husband agreed that I would have full residential custody, and legally every other weekend would be dad’s… but he could come and get our son as often as he wanted or my son could go as often as he wanted. His dad took him most weekends and usually a couple afternoons throughout the week even if just for dinner or an hour of fishing in the summer… It wasn’t about me… but about my son having structure and routine while maintaining his relationship with both of us… but it was important to me that I had control over his medical and education.
Guardian adlitem. Will have a lot to say on how it goes
Look everyone is different so I know this wouldn’t always work out for various reasons. My son’s dad and I did shared custody…its was awesome!..we even got to the point that my son would go where he needed as needed…there are times our children want whichever parent for whatever reason in their growth. We made it a thing that as long as he isn’t trying to escape from anything he could call the shots.
Also the rules were the same in both houses. Grounded in both not just one etc.
When issues came up he was encouraged to talk to whomever he felt comfortable with, with the idea of resolving the issue.
For instance, before I quit smoking I, for a very short time, would smoke in the house, my son brought it up to his dad. He then approached me. Oh boy…I didn’t like it at first on so many levels, right? Embarrassed was most of it…but guess what…instead of me thinking MY ex was trying to control my life, I decided to look at it as MY SON’S father brought something to my attention that made my son feel uncomfortable when he was home with me.
Anyway I could go on and on but suffice it to say my son is now 26, and is very greatful on how we did things. He saw how other split families did things…and has expressed how lucky he was that we decided to put our differences aside and become a team for our son…thats all that matters…!!
It takes both to sacrifice in order to do so and I realize how unique this is, but I honestly don’t feel it needs to be
1 Like
I’ve seen people do well while others dont
I’ve also seen a great example of shared custody. Dad picked the kids up from school, fed them dinner, & got homework done with them. Mom picked them up from dad’s house around 8:30-9:00. She fed them breakfast and took them to school. They both attended school functions and sports activities. They alternated weekends and the kids went on vacation with whoever was going on vacation. They worked together. But they were friends before they got together and stayed friends after they got divorced.
Please explain why you think you deserve full custody or even majority custody? Did they not live with both of you? That’s sad if you really think about it. People do not think through marriage, having children, or divorce most of the time. The kids will learn to live with it. But imagine how they feel. They will now have to toggle between two households for the rest of their lives. They’ll miss their dad when they are with mom and they’ll miss mom when they are with dad.
It’s a total different story if dad was beating or abusing mom or the kids. But most of the time it’s just because you get tired of each other and don’t even want to try to work it out. 
Depends on who has the better lawyer.
1 Like
It all depends on many things. Get a legal counsel Now.
I went through a horrible custody battle. These judges are pro dad. Unless he is unfit & you can prove it he’ll get 50.
Lately it’s a Good chance
Because then because it’s 50/50 no child support
Both parents should have 50/50 no matter the age. There is no reason your time with them is more valuable then with their dad. Consistency is nice but what will matter to those kids the most is equal access to both mom and dad. Please put your kids first.
Well jobs day care and potty training .he’s not thinking rational.summer maybe 1 month.but school if not in same district could get messy