Just do your best Gram ! Go get that baby & give it the best care that you can !! Stick to her “rules” as much as you can & don’t “talk about it” when you can’t follow her plan “exactly” &/or take with a grain of salt her criticism & let roll right off … Very involved Grandma here 
- all we can do is our best & our best is all we can do !! You offered & she accepted - get every hour you can with that child … Your daughter will look back years from now & realize what a blessing you are in her life & her child’s !!
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Sounds like she has some resentments against you. Maybe you need to have a good talk with her to find out what they are, if you don’t already know. I never let my parents look after my son (their only grandchild) because they regularly hit me and yelled at me when I was a child, and because of their controlling attitudes and inability to understand the negative impact those things had on me. They’ve seen him an average of twice a year and they’re lucky I didn’t cut them right out.
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Her mother is willing to help her so she can provide for her home. If she has so many rules she can always pay for child care and set thd rules there. She is her grandmother is wanting and caring for her grandson she is all least trying to go by her rules. She can at least be appreciative. People can be raised the right way and end up being crappy human beings
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She sounds super-stressed so is micromanaging things to try to have some control over life. Write down what you’re willing to do (reminding her you’re not obligated to do anything) & tell her take it or leave it & make other arrangements. See if she can get som me time to relax once in a while. She sounds tightly wound.
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Wait until she has another kid or two, she will loosen up. This is her first and only therefore she’s prob in that psycho faze most of us went to. After she has another kid or two she won’t give a fu@% about a waffle or bread or what it’s used for. Lol
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She expects you to come three days a week or you offered and she’s grateful?
This sounds a bit strained.
I would prefer my mother not drive my infant and would have her come over too…more child friendly environment and I know where to tell mum to get stuff if she needs things like extra food or my freezer stash of milk etc.
Rules are mom’s to choose. If you have a problem with how she feeds her child you vent to friends but feed how she wishes. Don’t disrespect that.
If you have a problem with so much driving. Say that. If you can’t do three days. Do one. Can’t do any. Say that now so she can figure it out herself.
My mom hated the rules I had in place for my kids and now that time has passed and I’m glad she didn’t say anything because I was stressed enough as it was. She had her parenting time and this was mine.
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So stop watching the baby and see how quickly she changes her tune.
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I would say she had a baby and is starting a new job, all of that is extremely tiring. If you’re not up for going three times a week then don’t do it. Enjoy being a grandma and make sure you take self care for yourself 
.
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If I were you, I would not budge on this. You are the one doing her the favor. She’s not doing you the favor by allowing you to see your grandson. She sounds very self centered and rude. I would tell her if she needs the help, she can do pick up/drop off the way you suggested. Otherwise, she needs to find a daycare. If she chooses to use her child as a pawn then she needs therapy and I hope you keep proof to show him one day.
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When my mom baby sits for me I am more than happy to drop my kid off at her house. She’s doing me a favor. She doesn’t have to babysit.
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She’s going to learn the hard way that she has to have give n take for things to work as the child gets older but for now you may just have to go with what she says.
As fr food moms choice but as for driving it should be 50/50
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Remember when you had your young child and you had a routine and life was hectic and you were just trying to survive the day? Don’t take it to heart she is just trying to make her life easier
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Unfortunately I get where your coming from but I see two options stop babysitting but you prob won’t see grandchild if she throws a hissy fit or keep doing what your doing. Catch 22 your in but she is the m9m so I suppose you have to play by her rules no matter how inappropriate they are.
I don’t think the daughter is doing anything wrong. OP offered to babysit -daughter didn’t ask.
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My mom used to tell me, “I will try to do things your way. But if I am watching your kids I get to make basic decisions. Unless of course you would like to hire and pay me. “
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You are doing her a favor but yet she still calls the shots she wants to threaten you with not seeing the baby well I would tell her that is fine when you want me to see your baby you tell me so get a babysitter
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If you don’t want to abide by mothers rules than don’t babysit.
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You are doing her a favor but yet she still calls the shots she wants to threaten you with not seeing the baby well I would tell her that is fine when you want me to see your baby you tell me so get a babysitter
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There’s really not enough information here. What time does she get off? How old is the baby? Maybe she wants the baby to be able to be put to bed in his own bed, and knows the transition from your house to hers will be difficult.
It sounds like she’s under a lot of stress and trying to do her best. If you can’t handle that much driving, that’s ok, but it’s on you to change your own boundary and just tell her that you’ll have to babysit less and she’ll have to find a different sitter. You don’t get to try to force her to change her boundaries.
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That’s some audacity. Have you always given in to her wants a she was growing up? Is she not used to push- back or hearing no? Not that it would be an excuse, but it might be that she’s oblivious to how bratty she’s coming off…?
I can’t imagine not trying to compromise if we were in her situation… my mom is an hour from us and does SO MUCH … the last we can do is meet half way or come to her sometimes!
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It seems to me if you are doing her the favor of helping with child care she should have some give on the driving. Be tough and say you aren’t watching the baby anymore and see how quickly she changes. She sounds as if she’s a bit in the spoiled and catered to side having been an only child.
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And y’all, the daughter didn’t ask OP to watch the baby, OP offered. She also hasn’t threatened to go no contact, it’s just what OP thinks will happen naturally if she doesn’t make the effort to go over there (unsurprising, since the daughter is a busy working single mom).
OP is kinda making her out to be the bad guy.
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She can use child care
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She’s wrong but there’s nothing you can do. Her kid her choice. It sucks but if that’s what you gotta do to see him then do it. I wouldn’t keep babysitting for her but i would visit once a week to see him.
Sounds like your daughter has a Narcissistic personality disorder? If you want to see your grand then bite the bullet and bow to her demands. If Not, She’s a Big girl and can do her own thing, the only one to suffer is the child pawn.
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i agree with Bobbie Krueger,I too think she’s spoiled & used to getting her way !! don’t know when you posted this,(just came up on my timeline today ) but the price of Gas she could bend some & waffles isn’t only for breakfast,KFC was advertising Waffles & chicken not too long ago !!
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It’s not that big of a deal and I bet a lot of grandparents in Texas today would drive to the ends of the earth to be able to see their grand babies again
Suck it up. It’s just a drive
If she knows someone that can do a better job than you, then tell her to use her other options. Sounds hurtful, but you can’t be taken advantage of. I would never speak to my mother this way who would offer to help out as much as you are. She needs to meet you in the middle, especially if you are helping out FOR FREE and using your own gas money. There has to be boundaries and respect.
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Shes not asking much is she , she should of thought about this pre ,having a child
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I would walk to the ends of earth to do anything for my mother. I drive 3 hours on weekends to go see my mother. I think your daughter may be taking advantage of you tbh
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Figure it out baby, because mommy ain’t doing all that
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Let her find someone else to watch the baby
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You’re doing a great job .
I’m happy to drive 30 mins both ways 2x a day so my baby gets her fav nana n papa time and schooling there. and they spoil the child - grandparents uhg(; XD
I’m sorry you’re going through this.
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I feel like we are missing information. You’re daughter seems standoffish with you, which means that there’s underlying issues she has with you. I’m wondering what else there is to the story
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sadly you have a selfish daughter who doesn’t budge so live with it and go take care of that baby.
You r wrong. It’s her baby. Don’t watch it then. Your daughter is allowed to dicate her baby’s care.
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I don’t think there is enough information to form an opinion on this one. What I gather is that she is a new mom with a job that she has just started and she is likely very stressed and exhausted. Maybe she asks for you to do it this way because it’s wayyyy easier and less time consuming for her. Please keep in mind that it would add a lot of extra time in the morning to have the child dressed, fed, washed , and packed up for the day if you met her at her work with the baby rather than you simply going to her house. Same goes for her running out after work to drive 45 minutes each way, then finally going home to make dinner, bath baby, get baby to sleep and do house work.
If I had to take a wild guess. I would say she asks for it this way to save her and extra 2 hours of time that is super precious right now. It’s only for a couple of months so just bare with it and help her out
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I would be interested in hearing all 3 side’s. We have heard your side now we should hear her side and then the whole story.
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Stop enabling her spoiled brat behaviors. Shes a grown woman and not a very smart one to think she knows more than you at raising a child. It’s hilarious how our kids have a kid and act like they know it all. She obviously does not realize how much day care is and that there aren’t many that actually take care of kids well to begin with. She clearly lacks respect so I know you want to see your grandchild but if she cant compromise let her figure it out the hard way.
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You mentioned her father-in-law babysits too. Does he live nearby your daughter? And is he held to the same nit picking that you are? I’m thinking of the waffle incident. Honestly 3 days a week seems like a lot since the situation is so shaky. Does your daughter have any other backup childcare plans? Has she looked at any centers or anything? Honestly I’d probably just drive there 3 days a week at least for awhile and see how it goes. Are you allowed to take him out like to the library or anything like that?
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Sounds like she is the spoiled brat!
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1st of all she is ungrateful. I would stop babysitting. Wait till she calls begging for your help and then you set your own rules,like her paying you for gas and your time. Also get her to bag his breakfast,lunch and snacks.
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Not enough information for me to commit
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I disagree with a lot of these comments. Her child=Her rules. Even if she is spoiled and wants everything her way…that would have come from how you as her mother raised her. Either do I her way or don’t do it.
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Sorry your daughter needs to pull her head out of her ass. You have taken the time to watch your grandson she needs to bend a lil. I would tell her fine you pay me to watch him or pay for your gas to and from her place. I get that she is an adult but dam sure as hell aint acting like one. Because after all you are doing her the favor so she doesnt have to pay for a babysitter.
I feel certain that her regiment will loosen once she has to deal with professional childcare; the cost, travel, and conforming to their rules. Your only child?
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objection! Lack of foundation!”
There’s obviously more to this story…
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I don’t know the full story … where is the baby’s dad - can’t he help? How about a compromise. You are doing her a favour looking after whilst she goes to work so maybe 2 days at her house and uoj stay overnight to cut down the driving and fuel costs and then she drops him to your house before work on the 3rd day?
Does she even realise how much childcare costs ? And how hard it can be to get a place in some nurseries and childminders ? Maybe she needs these things pointed out.
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Not enough info tbh. I mean, my son is 10 months old. If I had the option for someone closer to watch my child, compared to all the extra leg work of going to my moms house 45 min away, I wouldn’t be going 45 min away. Also peanut butter is recalled? Idk what’s wrong with a waffle? If she is relatively a new mom, then I would chalk it up to her being stressed. Mom guilt going back to work. But again, not enough info to really evaluate the situation fully, to many unknowns.
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Her child her rules. Also she has a kid a lot people don’t want to have to deal with a child in a not childproof house or get off a schedule because at the end of the day they are the ones who put them to bed and take care of them. Also waffles and bread are for whenever they want to be! You should definitely follow her food rules. You might not know of an allergy or how the baby can handle the food chewing. She is the mother so definitely chill
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Apparently she doesn’t really need you to babysit. Let her get and pay for another babysitter or daycare. I was lucky that my parents were close by and could pick up my child when needed. However, when I was a child they usually took me to my grandparents or met in the middle. I never had my parents babysit regularly while I was at work either (for a variety of reasons, not because they didn’t want to or wouldn’t have helped). They only did that when he was sick and I had to work and then only after my Dad retired when my son was 3 or 4.
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Put up and shut up if you want to see your grandchild. Not very appreciative if you ask me, good thing you love that kid. I am not so sure I’d do it!
Ok first time mom or not- she’s being silly and unreasonable. If you are offering the help she needs to meet you in the middle and waffles are amazing for dinner/lunch and breakfast
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You can’t say anything. Mommies and daughters are like this and always will be.
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Go to court and get visitations grandparents have rights
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Do you have child locks in your house? What about baby gates? Do you have outlet covers? Is your house safe for a child to be there?
So much info that you left out.
Mother/ grandmother or not- if my child isn’t safe; I’m not sending my child there.
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Do you remember being a mom of a young child and how difficult it was? Sounds to me like you are only thinking of what would make your life easier. What would be in the best interest of your grandson? To be in his home, with his toys and stuff? Or in your home? Also 45 mins travel time to and from your home may be too long for him.
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You’re not wrong.
But….with these entitled kids you have to be careful because they have a tendency to estrange.
Maybe what you need to do it set your boundaries and show your daughter how easy you make her life.
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Don’t even bother with her. Let her pay someone else to watch the child.
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Let her find a baby sitter… See how long that will last… 
She may appreciate you more
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You can say “No”
And wish her well finding better care !!!
She does not sound very thankful/grateful …ONLY one way to solve that !!!
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I know exactly how you feel. Our kids must think we did a terrible job of raising them because right or wrong some are going to have it their way or none
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Go and visit, let her figure out her babysitting situation alone… not everyone has a family member to help them with their kids and you’re willing too, but she can’t meet you half way 
this is sad
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The thing with the peanut butter could have been a safety thing. Some people like to ontroduct allergens like Peanuts in a controlled place so if there is an adverse reaction, no one is scrambling while baby can’t breathe. The driving and time thing seems weird though. Unless you have multiple animals or something that she thinks might hurt baby, but still strange to not say her reasonings.
While I agree that it’s her child, her rules, it’s seems that you’re doing her a favor by babysitting while she’s training. For that, she should be appreciative.
I would suggest you stepping back, letting her figure out child care on her own, that she will most likely have to pay for, and you simply be the grandparent.
Once she realizes how much you actually help, it may change her attitude.
I know when my mom was helping me with my kids, I did whatever I could to make it easier on her. I dropped off and picked up, provided what my kids needed while in her care, because at the end of the day, yes, she was their grandmother, but she was doing me a favor by helping me out and saving me money.
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Let her pay for child care…she will quickly loosen her way.
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While I agree that it’s her child, her rules, it’s seems that you’re doing her a favor by babysitting while she’s training. For that, she should be appreciative.
I would suggest you stepping back, letting her figure out child care on her own, that she will most likely have to pay for, and you simply be the grandparent.
Once she realizes how much you actually help, it may change her attitude.
I know when my mom was helping me with my kids, I did whatever I could to make it easier on her. I dropped off and picked up, provided what my kids needed while in her care, because at the end of the day, yes, she was their grandmother, but she was doing me a favor by helping me out and saving me money.
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Tell her to get a babysitter
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Maybe just back off and let her figure out other ways. I know you won’t to spend the time with your grandson.
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Melissa Broadwater-Baker The Mom was upset not about peanutbutter or any possibly allergens.
The Mom said “waffles are for breakfast. Bread is for lunch.”
Mom is a loon.
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If you have no job, just make it easy on her. It’s not about you. She’s trying to survive the working world with a baby.
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Maybe don’t babysit just go visit whenever you can. You are not obligated to do anything you don’t want to. With gas prices these days she seems very unreasonable.
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Holding your grandson for ransom. 
That’s a difficult situation. I’m at the point in my life where I jump for joy if my kids’ grandparents want to take the kids to their house. Please! Take them! Want to adopt my children? I’ll drop them off at your house any time!
Honestly, she’s taking advantage of you. It’s not right. She’s on this high horse of things having to be done her way. Let her figure it out without you for a while. Tell her that you will be happy to watch your grandchild at your house, but you’re not going to be driving 3 days a week to her house. Start off slow. Offer to watch The child at your house for one day, and the other times at her house. That way it’s a compromise. If she doesn’t compromise, then let her figure it out. Childcare for 3 days a week can get REALLY expensive quick. She’ll change her tune.
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Count your blessings! You could be visiting her gravesite instead of arguing about peanut butter…
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Sounds like someone spoiled her big time! Just saying.
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Let her figuredout by herself get a babysitter or pay for daycare
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Let her pay 200 dollars a week for childcare shell regret taking advantage of your help than 
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You’re not wrong to feel that way but unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it. Just like nobody else would tell you how to mother your own child
While I think this situation takes compromising like everything else, I think the grandmother needs to state clearly what help she is willing and able to give, and the daughter should accept the help she is willing to take. Not sure what that would look like, but that is the only way to sustain the help given and taken without bad feelings. As for following the mother’s rules, I know that for the most part I follow all my daughters’ rules for their kids especially when safety is involved, but they give me some grandma wiggle room. They also trust and respect my ability and choices for child care. If the daughter here doesn’t then why is she leaving her child with the grandmom? Can’t have it both ways.
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I’m sorry but she is clearly taking advantage of you and your need to spend time with the baby. I get she’s trying to work and be better but that shouldn’t be at the cost of you jumping when she tells you too. Your the grandparent not a babysitter. My mum and dad had my son when I was small so I could have me time as I was a single parent but I never made them come to me I’d drive the 25 minutes to them every time and pick him up. When I was talking to them about a job I wanted to do my dad jumped at the extra hours with my son. I worked Thursday-Saturday night so I’d drop him off after dinner then I’d go to work and then stay there Thursday and Friday as my dad had work this days but had Sunday off so I went home to sleep after work. I’d really sit her down and talk to her and if she just stone walls then tell her you can only do it for a short time or not at all.
I saw this exact post on another mom page. The daughter is also asking her to do all the laundry, chorse and throws a fit if it’s not all done exactly the way she would do it. She is babysitting 12 hours a day FOR FREE and the daughter won’t compromise with anything and even has a very strict eating schedule of her son and using her son as a threat if the grandma doesn’t so exactly what she says.
I understand being a mom is hard. being a mom and working a job is also hard. however being thankful and understanding when you have a mom willing to do all that for you is also necessary. There are so many of us that would love to have the chance of having a grandma in their lives and someone who’s willing to do so much for us.
Generally I like people being at mine if they watch my kids. I get stressed out that my kids may break things but, I also have a picky eater who loves to just snack all day.
I just fine that my kids are more comfortable at home with their own toys.
Generally I like people being at mine if they watch my kids. I get stressed out that my kids may break things but, I also have a picky eater who loves to just snack all day.
I just fine that my kids are more comfortable at home with their own toys.
Sounds like she knows exactly how to manipulate and take advantage of you coz you are too predictable
Please don’t drive out to her house to pick that baby up. If you do you are setting yourself up for further heartache. You will also have a tremendous gasoline bill to travel to and from. Your daughter knows this. Let her get her own babysitter and let her pay them to watch her child. If you go to her house to watch the child, you will also be setting yourself up to keep hose for her as well. She’s not a dummie. She is a pretty smart chick!
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Stop doing it, if she wonts to work she will either have to pay for child care or stop expecting people to run around after her ungrateful self, some people don’t realize how lucky they have things until they’re taken from them
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Is it possible she doesn’t want you driving with the baby?
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So you volunteered to look after the grandson, she told u it wouldn’t be doable, you wanted to anyway and now your whinging about it.
You should have just let her arrange her own care that works for her while she’s trying to work and do what works for her
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You’re being manipulated…it happens…stand up for your self and don’t feel bad about it. This is ridiculous! Stop tolerating her behavior, it’s unacceptable!
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Wow, she should be so grateful . Some people don’t get that from family that lives in the same town as them.
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Sounds like daughter needs a wake up call the world does not revolve around her.
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She is being a Bitch .And to used the baby 
as weapon is utterly ridiculous and disgusting. You Have A peace of work As a Daughter Inlaw .Feel so very sorry for you
My mom watches my son for me and has since he was born. He’s 4. I am pregnant with my second and he will be here in a couple months. I prefer to have my mom watch my kids vs someone I don’t know or a company for obvious reasons. I have ALWAYS dropped my son off to her and picked him up as she is the one doing ME a HUGE favor. I know if I absolutely needed her to come and get him one day for me, she would. But I seriously cannot imagine talking to her that way over a waffle after what she has done to help me.
I’d tell her to pay for daycare, and after doing some research she will find herself apologizing to you for being so ridiculous.
I can’t imagine telling my mom this, she’d tell me to kick rocks LOL.
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Her kid her rules. I would offer to sit with the kid one day a week. Fewer hassles with the OCD gal.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Doesn’t sound like you deserve it. Will she not compromise on at least some of the days? Maybe she should pay for a sitter… Doesn’t sound like she appreciates what you do for her… maybe she just thinks you should because it makes it easier for her idk
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Put her in a time out!!! 
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Certainly seems over the top. However the regiment syndrome is either a learned one or one adopted as a fallback under stress.
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I really wish I still had my mom… she’s very blessed to have you and she’s ungrateful before everything else.
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