So, I have a question and need advice. First let me start off by explaining what happen. Sorry this may be kinda long… The week before last, so this is the third week as of now, I finally got fed up with my son (10yrs) being disrespectful and talking back. Telling me, his dad and g-ma(on dad’s side) “No” and throwing a fit when ask/told to do something (a chore, take a shower, brush teeth, go to bed, get off the game, etc.) so he lost his Xbox for the rest of the week. 2 days later lost his phone and then the next day lost his TV privileges for the same reason… Was gonna give them all back last week but I found out he lied about having homework ALL WEEK so he still hasn’t gotten them back. So when he’s been disrespectful since everything was taken away, I’ve made him do extra chores. Apparently that’s still not enough… so when he got in trouble Tuesday night, I finally had enough and got his butt with a belt. (Now here’s where I have to add; this is literally only the second, mayybbee third, time in his life that I’ve ever whooped him… and he had on blue jeans. I did 3 swings but didn’t give it like force or anything because I knew just the action of gettin his butt whooped would be more effective than inflicting pain.) so Wednesday comes around and about 30 minutes before he gets home from school… I get a call from CPS! Apparently he told a teacher or someone at school that “he got smacked a bunch of times.” And told them that he got smacked in the face once too!!! So I’m freaking out now!! She (CPS lady) ask me what happen and I told her but like… does anyone know what might happen? We have an appointment next week for her to come talk to us. Also… What should I do about his mouth? I’ve tried everything! I’m at a loss. I think the only reason he told them is because he never gets his butt busted (which I do not like doing but I’ve tried everything else) so it took him by surprise and he feels like that’s “child abuse” (which is what he said I was committing after all his electronics were taken away from him and I made him do write offs saying “I will not be disrespectful” 50x’s ) But yeah, so what should I expect from cps? Do you think they will agree that I was in the right or do they have the whole “you can’t whoop your kids” mindset? I’ve never dealt with them before so I have no idea what to expect, so I’m freeaakkiinnggg out!! I’m also at a complete loss about what to do about his disrespect, I don’t know how to get it across to him that it’s not ok, in a way that I haven’t already tried. Taking electronics, time out, extra chores, write offs, just talking to him and explaining why it’s not ok… I have literally even tried therapy (he’s been going for almost two years now) and now, a butt whooping l, which resulted in all of this so obviously not a good choice. Idk what to do. Thanks for any feedback. Constructive criticism is also welcome and appreciated.
They will do a home inspection ask everyone in the house questions including him alone. Might want drs records. Ive spanked my kid but never used a belt and honestly they arent gonna like that and you might have an abuse case because of it.
You beat your child with a belt and now you’re worried about what CPS might do. YIKES. Surely there’s other methods of parenting but you literally chose violence and now there’s consequences borne of your choices.
Well you beat him with a belt its not like you smacked his butt a couple times. So no I doubt cps will share your mindset
Spanking isn’t ok in the first place. Studies show nothing but negative effects from it…and you used a belt. You may be in a little trouble but they will probably just make sure the house is ok and may make you do parenting classes or something.
Hmmm, I have a 10 year old as well, he is also rude and disrespectful I’m hoping it’s a phase. I can not tell you much about CPS as I live in Canada, however, I am a youth worker and deal with children with behaviors all the time. I believe the social worker may be able to offer you support, I feel your hardship mama. I encourage you to never use anything to spank your child. What I know is when children are acting out is when they need to be loved the most. Try to find out why he is acting out, have some one on one time with him, you know him the best mama try and find out what he is not saying.
I understand spanking to a point, but why was a hand not enough? 
Keep his crap until he learns to respect people
And about his homework if he keeps lieing about it
Let him. Know that adds time to being grounded
Cps
Is a different story
They will come in your home and ask so many questions even some that doesn’t involve in the actual case
And they may not agree with how you handled the situation but they will determine they’re own opinions
And they will most likely question him as well
Good luck cps sucks ass
You hit your child with a belt and your upset with him and how you can’t control his outbursts. Girl, you can’t control your own outburst.
They will come do a visit and honestly see that your son isn’t abused just got spanked and it will probably be the end of it. They might go talk to him at school. They can do that without your consent. But they will see that he is just a kid that is pissed at his mom for taking all of his shit.
Cps will tell it’s ok to spank your child as long as you don’t leave a mark longer 10 to 30 mins. Kids now a days have no respect for adults. I remember when we disrespected our parents we got our asses whooped or slapped in the mouth. I would contuine with making him write sentence or make him write a two page story or why he shouldn’t disrespect you. Your his momma and he needs to know it’s not right to treat you thay way. It’s not like abused him you spanked him there’s a big difference
All of this kind of stuff was actually done to me as a child and my therapist called CPS, it was investigated but no confessions were made so it went away. I was still able to see everyone and I wasn’t removed (I should have been it was much worse). I had CPS cases open on me almost my whole life and it took my high school boyfriend going to the police and getting upset for me to be removed. It takes alot for some kids to be taken away, but some case workers will take your kids for verbal abuse
Been honest belt was to far for 10 yr old. CPS ain’t gonna like it. But on different note, you do seem as tho you’ve tried most stuff to no avail. How was you brought up as from post you sound very strick if honest, no leway or room to move. If this is case you need to change tactics. I’ll admit I was strict with first till found out was autistic at 10. Changed my whole outlook and way I handled stuff. I choose my battles Wisley and decided if was worth it or not in long run. Yes it did take a lot of shutting away and counting to 10 on many occasions. On 3rd child now and had very little issues with next 2. My kids are 23, 15 ,& 8
A belt!?! That’s never Ook!! That is child abuse!! I suggest you start parenting classes… and get him a counselor… children act out for one reason or another and may not be comfortable enough with anyone… yet… if ever to discuss it with… and have a eval with his dr and possibly school to see how he acts there… best of luck to you and your son!!!
You can spank your kids as long as you don’t leave a mark. That is what’s wrong with this generation parents are to scared to discipline there child for this reason. But let this child do something at school you would be ask where the discipline.
While kids drive you crazy, beating them just means you’ve lost control. It also means that you’ve damaged your relationship with them even more.
Depends on a lot of things. They’ll speak to everyone including the child’s doctor. I wouldn’t give any privileges back to my kid until they earned it. Good luck parenting and discipline are almost impossible these days.
Im from Texas spankings are not considered abuse here its legal so much wouldnt happen her…Im also not a gentle parent.
I have 3 boys. They all have had a spank or two but NEVER a belt!! I understand mom to mom, how frustrating attitude is!! I swear I do, but I don’t believe pain is the answer!! I have cried myself to sleep when my teen has hurt my feelings. Find different approaches and keep on taking things away. Please try to connect and snuggle, talk about what’s going on. I think sometimes this is a cry for more affection!!
They will ask questions , interview kids, maybe have you do parenting classes. As far as next time exercises is what my kids get. They run till I am tired. We live on a hill. I sit in a chair. They have held gallons of water in each arm repeating I will not… what they got in trouble for. Dcs has approved of this method because it isn’t physical. The gallons seem like no big deal till you do it for a few minutes. Every time not just once and done. What you choose no matter who it’s to that’s the consequence. Don’t give back electronics either. Here my 12 year old hates being in the same room with his siblings so when he really messes up he spends time with them.
This child needs to be loved differently. It could be adhd or anything that you want to call it, but physical violence will not work but make it worse. This child does not fit in the normal mold and old fashioned discipline will ruin your relationship. Read parenting books, control yourself and keep your hands (and weapons) off this baby.
Man, all the Karen’s and perfect parents on this post drive me crazy 
They’ll probably want to have you enroll in anger management and parenting classes. Your child is not required to have electronics, chores are not child abuse. Do not give in and do not back down. Take the classes, get your child into therapy and maintain his discipline. Bad behavior means no fun.
I believe they look for positive discipline used at home, and it a belt beating was done out of frustration and anger…
Well then, they might have you take an anger management class or counseling for better coping.
So very sorry, parenting is hard and frustrating at times
I’ve had CPS visits. They Are not fun.
I looked up everything I could about the system in the state I live in, so I got to learn what to expect from them and what they expected from me.
Welp I reported myself and they STILL closed it. #nochildshouldbedisrespectfulaydownthelaw
When I was having problems with my daughter 2 years ago I called the cops to have them come and talk to her and they told her straight up I can smack her legs and butt as long as I didnt leave a mark
I agree in this day and age a belt is not acceptable. In the 70s when we were kids i was hit with anything my Mum could get her hands on. I think as a Mum you know you’ve over stepped the mark but you should not be punished. Authorities will check out your home situation, ask your child the right questions and go from there. I too know what it is like to have a very defiant child, definitely physically hurting your child is a huge No No, I hope you both learn from this.
Jeez- I was hit with a belt, a wooden spoon or whatever and I survived and thrived. Sometimes kids need to have a bit of respect installed in them. And believe me I’m still just as defiant but I learned boundaries and respect.
You can spank a child open palm but not with anything that’s where you get in trouble.
I’m in Illinois, and cps don’t tolerate spanking, with a belt is worse . If they find you for neglect, you may have to deal with them for a few months they’ll come into your home weekly and you may have to take parenting classes.
You hit your kid with a belt because you lost contol of the situation… Wake up to your own faults as well as your child’s and do better next time… Violence is never okay and you are teaching your child another way of acting out!
I need to add one thing I learnt when I grew up after my childhood. It’s ok to spank your kids, but the second you use anything but your hand - it becomes a weapon. I think that’s super important for us all to remember.
Last I knew the only reason it would be considered child abuse is if marks were left. If it were me, everything in that child’s room would be packed up and put away. I would also change his therapist if things aren’t getting better.
The belt? Wow …CPS should be involved…I could see a spanking but the belt is something much more
d
Just tell them everything and ask for help, I did a self referral because of my child’s behaviour and they helped us so much
Spanking isn’t frowned on at cps. No welts or marks so belts shouldn’t be used. They consider it a weapon.
I agree with everything u did, I probably would not have used the belt tho but ur at ur wits end … I have spanked mine a couple of times in their life… and I was spanked too… kids these days have zero respect for anything anymore… no wonder our world is going to pot…
My son tried this. He was failing all his classes, using his brothers as punching bags, fighting. I did everything I knew to do, including spanking. I threatened military school. He then told his teacher his dad tased him( it was a vintage vinyl cleaner. He asked how it worked, my husband held it to the palm of his hand and explained how it shocked the records to clean the dust out of the grooves.) the next day, CPS and the cops were on my door step. Nothing came of it because they could clearly see my children were very well cared for.
Man, I got my ass whooped growing up! Hand, belt, hand-carved wooden paddle… And you know what? I learned respect, real fast. That’s the problem with today’s society… Everybody wants a prize and nobody wants to earn it. Good for whooping your kids ass! Every once in a while is NOT child abuse!
All the “it’s abuse” crybabies are here I see🤦🏻♀️
I was hit with whatever my mother got her hands on, & I turned out completely fine.
I learned not to do whatever I was doing again, this generation needs more parents like this.
CPS looks at that as discipline they will not do anything about it unless it was on somewhere else other than his butt.
1000% against smacking with belts
It’s child abuse
It teachers nothing!
And it’s absolutely disgusting any person who physically wants to hurt there child like that.
I’m glad the school called cps
Sorry not sorry.
First of all wow … the Karen’s are out today!
Look … in some states corporal punishment is not a problem… especially when the law sees how unruly the child can be. Although , imo a belt is a bit much on a 10 yr. Old.
I spent my life in and out of foster homes. In my if they felt he was in trouble or worried you were abusing him…
- They would have had more reports by now 2. They would immediately remove 3. You would be in court …
they didn’t find him in any immediate danger.
Dcf is used to children crying wolf and can see thru a punishment and abuse. I would consider not using a belt next time.
I am not a perfect parent , there is no such thing … I was not there or in your situation nor were any of these folks.
You take a moment read through but, don’t take all this to heart … there are so many Karen’s already in this post you have to weed through and find the decent folks who aren’t 'Karen ’ gl and I hope his behavior improves.
It depends on the person who comes out. Some think, in that situation, it would be called for so long as it didn’t leave marks… Some are jerks and don’t like spanking at all. Also, they will probably look to see if he has his own bedroom, the house is clean and that there is plenty of food. They always seem to. I would definitely look into therapy for yourself, it’s hard being a parent to a child like that and maybe the therapist you get will have some great ideas or coping skills to try out.
To all of you saying you got hit with anything and turned out ok I don’t get it. My mom hit me with a belt many many times and it really messed me up. She would beat my legs with it and then tell me it was my fault for not being still. I was terrified of her and I would flinch anytime she got angry. It definitely haunted me as an adult and caused major issues for me.
So sit hime down and apologise for the belt … and also explain what the consequences are for telling people that you hit him on the face are … tell him all that’s happening with cps and let him know that it is possible if he says that stuff again he may be taken away and put in another home away from his family, let him know the gravity of what could happen and it may straighten him out
If you can’t regulate your behaviour to not use a belt as a weapon against your child how do you expect your child to behave how you deem acceptable. If you can’t get through to your child then the conflicted communication needs to be addressed. Seek counselling. A parent child relationship isn’t any less than any other relationship. If a marriage is breaking down the couple get counselling to try and fix things. Your relationship with your child is worth doing all you can. You cannot punish things out of a child. It’s not the best avenue to take . Just remember if your relationship with your son is strained there may be things going on with him he won’t tell you. You don’t want to mistake a cry for help which can manifest in bad behaviour as your child just being bad
I live in Tennessee and its ok to whip your child . the courts will give you a paddle to whip your child with and when I grew up we were whipped with a belt ,hickery switch or anything else available and I’m fine I loved my parents and respected them.
We live in a different time, I used to get spanked what felt like every day of my life with a belt or wooden paddle no Ill effects but looking back I was abused, it wasnt a simple swat it was whipping me till my bottom was red and welted to inflict pain and if I didn’t cry he kept going. It easily became out of hand quickly. I’m not saying you got to this point but when your already pissed and angry you can’t control yourself. From a child’s perspective you are hurting them emotionally and physically and it can never be undone
Don’t worry. They will possibly make you take some classes, and do some check ins for the next few months. No parent is perfect and this is clearly a very difficult time for you, you made a mistake, learn from it and hold your head up.As for the behavior, sell his Xbox, and put something else he cares for up for sale aswell and if the attitude continues keep selling. I’d also bag everything in his room up and put everything in a storage room or garage. Donate it as needed. Bring him along and keep him involved in the selling and donating of his things. Keep the money from the sales stashed away and as his behavior improves rebuy. You need to up your punishment game and make it stinge. At one point all my kid had was a mattress with bedding and clothing, her stuff was all bagged a couple times, and I’ve donated or sold a time or two aswell. She’s 12 now and we have a great relationship, and she’s doing great, but it’s been a bumpy ride with more turbulence ahead I’m sure. 
It depends where you live and hitting your child on the butt isn’t abuse !
They don’t seem too concerned if they are going to wait a week to come out. If they felt he was in danger they would come immediately.
Sorry but I don’t care what the circumstances, you NEVER take a belt to a child!!!
I grew up getting “occasionally whooped”, as you called it, by a belt, it made me hate my parents for it, bless their souls, I will always love them but there’s a limit. And YES I am a mother to a child who doesn’t always listen, who talks back, sometimes even hits or throws things and I have NEVER laid a hand nor belt on her. I’d never dream of it. You should be ashamed, clearly that’s not the case cuz you sound so careless in this post, you’re purely worried about what CPS might/could do to YOU. Hopefully the school nurse or someone was able to look over his bottom and check for marks you may have left on him and that’ll be placed in the case files. Hopefully they get your son the help and attention he needs and you get the help you need when it comes to raising a child. 
just my opinion of course. I know some people agree with spanking and whooping their kids, “discipline” and teaching respect etc. That’s not gnna happen the way you’re going about it tho. Placing the fear of yourself in your child’s eye to obey you and behave is never gnna solve it.
sounds like he wants to be with his Dad…
send him there for awhile…he might be glad to come home…
How could you hit him with a belt? Like a smack on the bum I grew up with but id never ever smack my kids let alone use a weapon (which is exactly what a belt is!) I have no idea what will happen but tbh the fact you’re “freaking out” shows you know you did something wrong & are trying to justify it to random people on the Internet before the professionals come see you…
If you spank a child, and leave any kind of mark whether it be a red mark or bruise, that’s child abuse, police will tell you that and cps will tell you that. I know they usually start out with a cps investigator and then depending you will get a cps worker and they will go to school do home visits, whatever they feel is necessary. They talk to whoever they need to, you, your son, other kids, dad, step parent ,teacher, school
nurse whoever. The belt thing is definitely frowned upon and that Is considered child abuse, if you used it for a “scare tatic” that’s frowned upon to, and that could go down for mental abuse/ trauma. I understand your frustration, but there was other options that could have been tried (CPS will probably tell you that as well), you could of talked to your child’s school counselor, or even teacher, pediatrician ( sometimes they have the best advice) I don’t support the belt at all, however I have taken my sons Xbox away from him for three days due to lying and not telling us where he was going (we were looking for him for over an hour) I did not take his phone away, because I still want him to be able to get ahold of me if he needs to. I sat down with my son and had a major heart to heart talk, I told him why I am taking the Xbox away, why he can still have his phone, the importance of letting me and his father know where he is going/ when he gets there so we know he is safe. The next day after school he asked me if he could go to his friends house, and I told him yes you can thank you for asking. He came home proud as can be that he “remembered to ask” At the end of the day all you can do is be honest with them, and whatever happens, happens. Now it’s kind of a waiting game, and the ball is in their court. I would recommend doing whatever they ask of you. Whether it is setting up counseling or whatever. They have one of the hardest jobs there is. A kid could go to school with a bruise from falling down at home, and it may get reported an they have to look into it. They’re not trying to make your life hard, they’re just doing their job and looking out for the well being of children.
Cps will come to your house, ask quests for an hr, take findings to supervisor. They will let you know what happens with your case. Parenting isnt the same for every child they respond to discipline/rules in their own way. You want them to trust you tho not just FEAR YOU. He will prob fear you if you keep hitting him with belts. Try talking to your kid. I mean communicate with him about WHY we dont do these things. Be up his butt all the time trying to figure him out. Im no parenting guru, but i raised my boys this way(gentle parenting). Also i will meet my boys half way on things when its possible. My boys are 18, 19 now they are wkn, very sweet/reasonable guys. He prob wont trust you as a teen if you hit him now
So I’ve dealt with CPS for “abuse” and I can tell you that hitting your child with anything but your open hand on the butt one time, you’re likely going to get into trouble. I know because I asked. I’ve always done swats on the butt, they’re okay and legal, but have to be done with nothing but an opened hand on the butt and only one swat. They say that two swats is hitting them out of anger and hitting them with anything but your opened hand on their butt is abusive. My case was closed/dropped after the home visit. Tip I learned, vinegar in their mouths isn’t illegal or considered abuse but it works when they say things they shouldn’t be saying (calling names, back talking, etc). Always make the punishment fit the crime with kids. You have to get creative. When my older kids lied about homework, they got more homework from me on top of their school work for two weeks and had to sit at the table until it was done each day. They want to scream nasty things at you or others? Vinegar in their mouth. They want to break things that aren’t theirs? They have to give the person who owned the thing they broke something valuable of theirs and have to work off the value of what they broke to that person also. You also need to be extremely consistent and leave no give room for him. If you’re not consistent and give any leeway… you’re not going to make any progress. Gut his room. Leave nothing but his bed. Make him earn everything back. Give him one outfit per day that he has to put in the washer after it’s worn and then switch to the dryer to give back to you in exchange for clothes the following day. As for CPS, be open and honest with them. If they even think you’re lying then you’re going to have issues. If you’re stressed tell them. Ask for resources. Ask for legal ways to punish your kid. Ask for therapy for you kids anger issues. They can help with things like that. Also if you’re a young mom to multiple kids, anytime there is a call, they’re going to be calling you or showing up at your house. I was told this by the social worker that came to our home. They did a walk thru, seen my kids were taken care of and clearly not abused, gave me resources that I asked for and I got a letter in the mail 30 days later saying it was closed and unfounded. Use this as a way to grow your parenting and utilize the resources they have to help. I’m typically not for CPS, but sometimes they can be helpful. The first time I had a social worker from hell who went thru my fridge and cupboards and said I had too much food and my car was messy (yes she even looked thru my car, which at the time was indeed a freaking mess). Second time the lady was extremely nice and actually helpful and helped me figure out things to do with my 3 older kids that wouldn’t ever warrant a CPS call but got the older 3 kids back on track. Let me tell you, my oldest is the best kid ever now. Also give time for open communication between you and your kid!!! One on one. You notice their behavior is doing better? Take them on a walk and tell them you notice they’re doing better and that you’re proud of the changes their making. Positive feedback is a great thing. Nightly walks can be a great thing for communication too. If you want to reach out you’re more than welcome to PM me. I’ll definitely try to help talk you through different things to help. As for the first part of your post, swats on the butt aren’t bad, they just need to be utilized properly. Parenting is hard mama. You got this!
I’m just hear to say… no judgment because I am a mom of 4… 2 of which are highly traumatized. My 12 year old has completely lost his way… and I’ve dealt with awful behaviors and extreme defiance. I know how frustrating it can be. So without saying to much more… know you’re not alone, parenting is hard af, if you need someone to connect with please don’t hesitate. And full disclosure… my son was taken into care by CFS yesterday… because I asked them to! Because I’ve done everything and I can no longer help him and I’m not capable of parenting him with his needs at this time. Note he went into care not because I’ve been deemed unfit…
What should you do about your child’s mouth?
WHAT!
You literally belted him with a belt and you expect him not to say anything?
You’re gross. Your parenting is gross. We don’t live in a time where that’s acceptable (not that it ever should have been) parent your child don’t beat them into submission
Trying to justify hitting your child with a belt?!?!?! Shame on u!
Violence is NEVER a solution!!! How dare u!
WOW I’m shocked at all the judgemental people on here! This momma tried every kind of punishment and used that as a last resort. None of yall know the entire situation and are already judging her when shes asking for help! Smh calm down. NO PARENT IS PERFECT!
I’d use this opportunity to explain to him how utterly terrifying and unpleasant most foster situations are… even with great foster parents… For a child to have to be removed from their home, leaving behind their family, all belongings and only bringing some clothes with them, is pretty traumatic for a 10 year old in itself. Hopefully he gets loving foster parents. Not all foster parents do it out of the kindness of their hearts and some foster homes are worse than the situation the child qas taken out of. Not to mention involvment from countless case workers, switching foster homes, missing out on friends, pets, family, his phone, xbox etc… I doubt thats the route he wants to go… and now his behavior, your desperation to correct his behavior, and him involving CPS could very likely put him in that exact situation for the unforeseeable future… For me personally as a kid, if someone told me that and I realized how scary that would be, I would have straightened up my behavior real quick.
That being said, everything happens for a reason. So maybe CPS’s involvement will get you some answers. If they deem it necessary, he will likely get counseling and maybe even recieve a diagnosis that will help explain his behavior. They may offer you counseling that you may have not had access to otherwise and it may help you learn ways to address his behavior in a constructive way. This may just be the blessing in disguise that you’ve needed. My advice would be to be respectful, don’t be argumentative, show them that while you may believe their presence in your life is unwarranted, you realize they are just doing their job and that you’re willing to follow their advice and suggestions and do whats necessary to work with them and get the process over with. I’ve seen what happens when you are argumentative and act like you know better, and get the case worker on your bad side. Not me personally, but it happened to someone I know and they spent the next 3 years in and out of court fighting for their child back, being lied about in court and demonized by a case worker with a grudge. Even requesting a new caseworker didn’t help because once their form their opinion about you, you have no control over what is put in your chart and what information is passrd down about you and your demeanor. Good luck and try to use this as a learning experience for both you and your son.
The amount of people who will condone this sort of behaviour is vile firstly. Hitting a child leaves long lasting damage mentally which has been proven! In the UK this is child abuse and absolutely not accepted in any way whatsoever! People say oh it happened to me as a kid I’m okay, that’s what’s wrong with the world today! A child needs a parent who’s fully protecting them, guiding them, love and support whenever needed. Not being smacked around with a belt!!! My in laws assaulted my child without me knowing and are no longer allowed near any of my children as a result thankfully! A parent who hits their child proves they cant control their emotions in a healthy manner, that’s no lesson to teach a child. The same people who shout about hating bullies are out there bullying their children! Nah, it’s vile and there’s no excuse! Makes my blood boil grown adults use violence as authority to teach ‘respect’
With the belt punishment aside, I think the bigger picture here is being missed. Your 10 year old has a phone, game system and whatever else. Another words, your 10 year old has many privileges. Privileges are earned. If the child can’t obey, the privileges should be removed. The child needs to understand that there is consequences for his actions. He obviously isn’t phased by all of your different attempts at discipline. Remove all of the privileges, sell them, give them away, whatever it may be. One week isn’t enough time, clearly the behavior continues or returns. Consistency is key. Also, spend more one on one time with that boy. He’s not comfortable enough to openly speak his frustrations, problems etc which usually turn into behaviors. Start with building a great foundation, then continue building
Y’all are acting like getting whopped with a belt was so terrible. I am dang sure that most of you were punished the same way. My sisters and I were given the hand by mom and then if we kept acting up then belt by dad. Everyone is so gung happy on calling cps abuse anytime a parent disciplines their child. Yes some disciplines can be too much, but a belt as long as it isn’t on the face or on bare skin won’t hurt the child as much as they are letting it made out to be. For the child, most def see about getting him some mental help.
You absolute cunt ! NEVER hit a child, not with a hand or a belt ! Ever ! You deserve CPS !
Its been proven by science that hitting your child can cause personality disorders, complex ptsd, etc
You 5000% deserve this. You’re a child abuser, and the fact you babbled on trying to justify it means you know what you did was wrong. You didn’t spank him (although that’s abuse too) you struck your young child with an object out of anger and frustration. You need help, and I hope CPS actually does their job and actually helps you. Good luck, you don’t deserve sympathy though.
I think you’re “allowed” to spank your child with your open hand but not with other objects. You may be investigated for abuse. It depends on your case worker or your state on what will happen.
Have you gotten him evaluated for adhd or different behavior disorders. He may need a specialized type of therapy or medication.
Maybe family therapy would help. They can evaluate your child and teach you the best way to communicate with him.
Have you tried meditation, breathing exercises, yoga. Have you tried positive reinforcement rather than just negative discipline?
My kids are not as old as yours yet so I’m not expert in ten years olds but just some suggestions.
Remember they learn to control their emotions from how you do.
I hope they take him away from you and keep him safe.
You’re disgusting! IT IS IN FACT CHILD ABUSE!! What would happen if an adult attacked another adult with a belt? Honestly your whole mindset screams to me that you shouldn’t even have kids.
10 year olds are disrespectful sometimes, don’t listen and play up but that’s part of being a child!!
You can’t expect a child to be respectful towards you if you show them no respect.
Sort yourself out!!
What is this 1950? Belted?! No excuse. Beating a child is to release your anger. Imagine how he feels that his one safe place is now not. Scaring your child into behaving only means he’ll forever be scared of your reaction. That is the unfair. What happens when he’s in high school and in a bad situation? You want him to trust you to call you right? How can he now? Sad he had to find another safe place but that’s on you. Do better for him before he loses trust in you forever.
There is a HUGE difference in getting your butt worn out and beating or abusing a child to where CPS gets involved. I have 3 sons ALL 3/which have gotten whippings with a belt when needed and are wonderful RESPECTFUL Boys… I also was ABUSED as a child to where after MANY YEARS being BEATEN with plastic bats. Steel toe boots or whatever he could find drug by my hair thrown and kicked and seeing my mom try and defend me at 9 mos pregnant kicked and dragged off a porch and 5 steps across the yard then at the age of 14 CPS FINALLY took me out of that situation. With that being said bc of people who DONT understand the difference and between DISCIPLINE( parenting your child CPS is not needed ) & ABUSE( Beating or hurting a child for no reason at all CPS NEEDS TO BE CALLED)
LEARN THE DAMN DIFFERENCE bc there is a child out there who NEEDS CPS TO INTERVENE BEFORE THEY ARE BEATEN TO DEATH…
Getting spanked with a belt is not wrong. Where I live, they will literally tell you as long as there are no marks or bruises, it’s fine. If that were my kid, I’d pop him in his mouth each time he told me no. Exactly why we have problems with the younger generation.
“We don’t want you to feel bad about yourself, so go ahead and back talk. Go ahead and do whatever you want to.”
Smh. I’d pull everything out his room except his clothes in a dresser and his bed. When he got home, he’d sit at the table and do his work. And I’d stay in contact with the teacher to know what homework he has. And then, he’d be sent to his room. He can read a book, and that’s it. He can sit there on restriction and come out to have dinner and use the bathroom.
I just can’t with these comments 
There is q reason spanking is banned in 52 countries. It’s shown to have lasting mental health effects and you comment stating that your child is already in therapy says alot. There are still tons of alternatives before taking a belt to a CHILD. A literal defenseless person. Imagine you didn’t clean one day or make dinner, would It be okay for your partner to take a belt to you?! No, because THATS ABUSE. Jesus lady
I mean, I smack my kids butt’s when they’re naughty but I’d never hit them with a belt that was just a step too far in my opinion
So basically you “whooped” your child with a belt and are now scared of what cps will do? 
If they’ve any sense they’ll remove your child!! Why did you honestly think taking a belt to your child is acceptable, your disgusting you can’t scare your child into submission he is 10 he is going to talk back, he isn’t going to listen it’s how children are I’m not an expert but with my own 5 children they drive me mad daily with their attitude, sometimes their disrespect but I sit down and talk to them find out what’s going on why are they “upset” “angry” “frustrated” I personally got hit with a belt growing up and the only thing that it taught me was that I never want to have my kids feel like I felt when it happened to me… I hate my parents for what they put me through and if you think violence is going to get you anywhere with your child’s behaviour your wrong if anything you will either make his behaviour worse or you will scare him so bad to the point when he’s old enough he will leave and take nothing else to do with you!!!
You literally beat your kid with a belt and are scared of what CPS may do? Wow.
Unless its a smack on the butt with an open hand its considered abuse. Wouldnt have been when my parents were kids but today thats a no no…
It’s illegal to use anything other then a hand so be prepared for that talk or action to be taken further 
As for other things, they can actually be helpful when it comes to helping with bad behaviours and directing how to deal with them. Cooperate at all costs and be honest with them your having a hard time getting him to listen etc 
Good luck. This is a learning curve x
Worst case scenario they do a safety plan for 6 months and they help you with his issues by getting you all some therapy and parenting classes. They also pay for everything and you get a subsidy to help with it.
It will depend on the state as hitting a child with an object to punish them could be considered child abuse, especially for there is any mark left. The cps worker doesn’t feel he’s in immediate danger as they didn’t immediately remove him. They will probably require you to take parenting classes.
Spanking is one thing. Whooping him with a belt is 100% abuse. He’s 10 years old. If he told other adults that he’s being abused, he’s being abused. If you’re lucky enough to keep custody of your son, STOP with the belt.
There is a huge difference between abusing a child and what she did. Are u all so perfect that u have never got so frustrated to the point you did something wrong?? She has tried everything else, tried to get help. She’s human and not perfect but which of us is??
You’re not a bad mom, you’re not disgusting, you’re not a child abuser, you’re don’t “deserve” everything coming to you. Your child isn’t going to be “scarred” for life. This new way of gentle parenting got these kids acting crazy in school, and running their homes in a disrespectful manner. I always say that people waited too long to discipline. Kids get away with stuff at 2, 3, 6, 8, and people say “they are just kids” then by time they turn 10, 13 etc it’s already learned and overlooked behavior. I disciplined my son at a very young age and was very consistent with my discipline and consequences. By time he was 6 and now 10 he is very respectful, nothing but compliments, happy, healthy, and smart. But by time they hit a certain age they done got overlooked so long the behavior is now normal to them.
40 year old adult that was born in the 80s we got spanked and I am not traumatized! We got hit with a belt, my parents lost there shit more than once. Mom died when I was 11 and I still love and support my Dad.
- Stop hitting your children.
- Get counseling for yourself and him.
- CPS won’t care about corporal punishment as long as it was on the buttocks.
- This is really bigger than you think. He needs intervention NOW.
- He has to many privileges to begin with.
- CPS is there to help. And the goal is always to keep families together. And will offer you resources and services.
That’s what you get for being abusive.
I can tell you are not in Alabama they take kids for hear say…I think the government has gotten way out of control when it comes to families, while I don’t think the belt was the right choice I don’t think spanking him was wrong. There are way too many people who sound like they may have needed a spanking from their parents commenting . Snow flake participation trophy types. Moms are human and to see so many people being so judgemental is by far what’s wrong with the world today.
These comments do NOT pass the vibe. SMH.
To the poster: ask CPS for help. Explain fully and be honest with them. They often have access to resources we don’t. There may very well be underlying issues you just don’t know of yet. As another word of advice, find a support group you can be open and honest with, be it here on FB or outside. Try to be open to all suggestions.
All of yal are on here judging her & calling her a bad mother because she disciplined HER DISRESPECTFUL CHILD after trying that “gentle parenting” sh*t. Yal are the ones raising the school shooters & the ones slamming their room doors yelling they hate you. I bet most of yal have absolutely no control over yal kids. Kids probably running yal, telling yal what to do & throwing fits in public, embarrassing tf out of yal. Some of these kids NEED that tough love. Yal better straighten these kids out at home before the world does. Spare the rod, spoil the child. No it’s not ok to literally BEAT & ABUSE them but it is nothing wrong with “redirecting them with a little force”. Grow some balls & quit letting these kids run yal. They’ll thank you later.
It really all depends who you get if you have a asshole for a case manager you could lose your kids if you get a person that’s understanding and kind it probably won’t lead to anything
You shouldn’t have hit him but they need help he could be autistic or anything along them lines
I would absolutely get an attorney. Period. Please understand any comment you make trying to explain yourself can be used against you. Get an attorney. Get an attorney. Get an attorney. Prayers for all of you as you walk through this.
Unfortunately there are laws protecting ppl who spank their kids so you will be fine. My daughter told us her uncle slapped her face and we were told that if we allowed him to be a caretaker with disciplinary discretion it can be done and is acceptable
Open hand on the bottom is fine, however you’re not allowed to use belts, or any other type of “weapon” or whatever you wanna call it. Anything like that or closed fist is considered abuse. Here in Canada anyways