How about I hit you w a belt? What an AH
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You are a horrible woman and have indeed inflicted child abuse, you got a belt out and hit your son !!!
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Growing up I got spanked with a belt. Not once did I ever run off and tell the teacher. I know some kids who growing up still had to pick their switch. I feel as though as long as you didn’t leave a mark, and you didn’t hit him with your hand, you did nothing wrong. If you’ve done everything, then that’s obviously a last resort. I have 2 little sisters that are 3 and 5. We use everything on them before we go to spanking. Just like my parents did with me (I’m 17). I know as time goes on, laws on that stuff becomes stricter and stricter. So I honestly don’t know what CPS would do. I only know what I was raised on. Hopefully you won’t get in any sort of trouble. Especially since he was exaggerating it
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I think considering they made an appointment and are waiting a week they are not to concerned about abuse. If they were they would not have given you a week to prepare…and as far as the electronic stuff and disrespect sell it and use the money on something nice for yourself.
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Well I guess I was abused as a child because when I was disrespectful my ass would get whooped! Now that I’m older , I understand that sometimes you do need a little discipline and sometimes my ass needed to be straightened out . This is why kids are so disrespectful these days because all you want to do is say no no no you can’t do that and when the kid is mocking you you think is cute … uh no you are gonna be disrespectful to me then I’ll make sure you know you have to respect me.
You didn’t beat the child , you smacked him three times with a belt. My mom used to make us bring her sticks from the street lol and I love my mama with all my heart , I understand she was trying to make me understand that you have to be respectful and act right . I never imagine it being abused lol and guess what? When my sisters got an ass whooping, I made sure I was doing everything right because I knew mama didn’t play.
The kids these days are so disrespectful and rude because everyone is soft . I believe in therapy 100 % but sometimes kids wanna play you too. I have three and I don’t hit my child like if I was beating them but they do if I see them being nasty they might get a smack and that will fix the problem . I show them I love them too , I talked to them , I give them advice , I sit with them and relate if they are going through something but the disrespect I would never allow that to happen
Idk about what CPS will say but my opinion you’re doing the right thing. A few butt whooping now will hopefully keep him out of jail later. Try making home like a mini boys school. Look up state laws before doing this but for my ex’s brothers this is what I was told to do by a cps worker while they were living with me. Give him a bed with a pillow and blankets. 7 outfits and 7 night time outfits all grey sweats and make him use them even at school. Plain white Walmart tennis shoes. No electronics only books, pencil paper extra homework assignments. Also make sure he is also active like jumping jacks running or whatever you would do. I had them scrub their room and bathroom from top to bottom and they helped me carry in firewood during the winter. I only had to do this for a week before they started to actually listen to me. My issue was a little different then yours. One of them laid across a desk at school till he had red marks on his back then said his mom took a belt to him. So while the investigation was going on they stayed with me. Once it was proven that she didn’t do anything wrong CPS thought it would be a good idea to have them stay with me a little longer to give everyone time and space away from each other and told me to do that since he wouldn’t stop lying. The other one would just not do anything that was asked of him.
She’s asking for help not on her parenting. It’s always cookie cutter moms saying oh you can’t do this or don’t do that but missing the whole post. Yes spank if need be. But in all honesty get him into therapy. Get him into a sport where he lets out anger or something. Just stay strong. Kids at the age start to rebel. I remember reading that they come in ask what happened checks the home and takes pictures. Hope this helps
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Sounds like your son needs to get checked for oppositional defiance disorder. CPS can’t do anything unless there is proof of abuse. Bruising and marks up and down extremities. Not for a butt whopping with no marks. There is a difference between discipline and child abuse.
You’ve done what you thought was right. You didn’t do it out of wanting to hurt him. Like others have said ask for parenting classes, let dad have a try, or maybe seek a psych dr for medication. I have a Dr who is ODD and even burnt my younger son with a curling iron. I was doing everything I could to help her and she was just getting worse. Counseling, medication, I even looked into inpatient but because of covid they were only doing video visits and deemed her to be more of a threat physically and couldn’t help. The school called cps and they came and “investigated” and saw we were doing everything we possibly could for her. Keep doing what your doing and looking for new ways to help him. All these women who sit here and judge you because you used your belt as a last resort can kiss my a$$. Walk one day with my ODD’er and we’ll see how you respond.
Where is your husband , boys actually get more disciplined by there father instead of mother I have experience 
If someone walked up to you in the street and busted your ass with a belt… would you ever respect that person… no… beating a child will not make them respect you
You hit your ten year old - with a belt - because he was being disrespectful. A BELT. What is wrong with you?
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Some of these comments smh. When I was growing up if I disrespected any adult or didn’t listen I either got the hand from mom or the belt from dad. I turned out just fine I learned to respect my parents and any adult. Now days kids think they can get away with whatever and not have repercussions because half of you feel so entitled and I bet you karens let your kids run your house. OP if he was my child when cps does come pack his stuff and let them take him he will then understand how good he has it at home.
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Try to work with cps ask how could I have handled it? Tough love. He is in counseling so that shows you are trying Do they have other suggestions. Resources? Ideas cause nothing else has seemed to work. Ask them for their help. Don’t try and get an attitude or fight them. Most will try and help you come up with ideas or resources. Also talk to local juvenile court counselor and let them talk to him. Maybe they can explain and show him juvenile detention and what could happen to him if you choose to go that route. I would hold my ground on the electronics etc. and he bedroom would be stripped of everything not essential and he would have to earn back everything. But he would know what he had to do to earn back each thing and when he made that mark he would get it back. Even if he wasn’t “perfect “ all the time as there will be slip ups. And give hugs and say you love him whether he wants then or not. Talk to him ask him why he is acting out. The answer may surprise you.
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I’d speak to him rather than hit him. Kids generally act out when they are upset about something. Has something changed recently? Maybe reach out to the part of him that is upset rather than hitting him. He’s not even old enough to understand his own emotions and all you are doing by hitting him is reinforcing the negative
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I dont believe in spankings and spanking with the belt was definitely overboard but I do hope that both you and your child receive the necessary help as a family. The system is not always a good place for children and clearly he is loved maybe you both have things to discuss in family therapy. Prayers 
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I’ve spanked my kids (but I use my hand ) when they needed it. Washed their mouth out with soap when mouthy. They spent time in their room also. My kids have grown to be very productive people and very proud of them. No one ever said being a parent was easy but a lot of work. Have faith you got this
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Be strong mama… plz let us know how it goes…all i can say is, be honest with all that is going on, the truth sets you free
As a mandated reporter spanking is not a form of child abuse.
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Wow your parenting is the problem 
¥ feel so sorry for this boy this is child abuse
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Tell CPS he’s unruly and get that kid a talk with a juvenile probation officer if he doesn’t like being spanked OR listening. Also I would explain to CPS that spanking is simply disciplinary and meant to teach him there are consequences to his actions, that are unpleasant and apparently it worked because he didn’t like it and here we are.
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The admins should probably turn off the commenting now. This is way too out of hand. Mamas Uncut
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U used a belt too ? Using a weapon? Your the problem momma !!! You 
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Here thats a form if child abuse and the child will be removed hes older so he’s going to have some choices shame on you u don’t land in jail for these things but I hope someone comes along and whoops ur fucking arse. A belt imagine shame on you
you took a belt to your kid? it’s 2022. bend over. let someone hit you with belt.
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All you judgers!! I grew up getting my ass whooped when I did something wrong. So did my neighbors, so did my friends, so did their parents…. I turned out to be a better person for it. There’s a difference between whoopin an butt and child abuse people.
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If getting your butt spanked is abuse then I was one of the happiest, most well behaved and abused children on the planet and without a doubt knew I was very much loved by my parents.i truly believe that children are the way they are today is because our extremely corrupt government stepped in and started telling us how to raise our children. We only got spanked as a last option and only on our butts. Rarely did we get a spanking. Please keep us up to date because I, for one, cares and will be praying. Get you both into Sunday School and Church. If you and his Fad get along then pull him in for support.
It is still legal to spank your child. Even with a belt. Its not an ideal form of punishment but honestly some kids respond to it better. I am not buying that all spanking is abuse crap.
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They will most likely refer you to parenting classes.
As long as your household is well kept, you are not a drug user, you will be good. They will want to come inspect your house and interview everyone who lives there. If all is good. They will close the case.
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I used to tell people either imma get my child now or imma let him get you later when he trying to rob yo ass because he wasn’t disciplined smh. Next time use a chancla 
And these comments prove exactly what’s wrong with society today. 
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Wow these comments 
Hope everything works out. I personally haven’t had to deal with this but my kids also know better because they will get their butts popped. I don’t use a belt tbh it’s just extra work when I could pop them in the butt right then and there. At 10 years old there’s NO reason he should be this unruly. Get him evaluated for anger issues and ADHD and if he’s got either I would get him medicated. They make medicine that is non-stimulant so it’s not addictive. And won’t make him a zombie. But sometimes this is the way to go to normalize it in their daily routine so that they aren’t psychos as adults.
This didn’t start at 10yrs this started way back and you probably let it slide and now your fed up and tired. He probably now thinks he has the upper hand because you are scared and worried. You probably won’t be in any trouble but the issue is how do you deal with him going foreward? That’s what you need to figure out before it gets worst.
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We were all beaten with a belt we turned out fine government is to be blame look at the youth no respect for older people
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My son is 9 and we had to ground him around the first 1st part of school. All he was allowed to do for a week was sit in his room and read books 
now all kids are different BUT it worked for me. He thought it was the worse thing ever but his grades have never been a problem again.
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Sad world we raising our kids in
Open handed spanking is ok but with a object not so good just tell them the truth it will be ok explane it was a first time. if there is not mark on them I think not much would happen they will want to tell you what is exceptable types of punishments
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Child abuse 
Y’all leave this lady alone. When I was a child I had switches, belts and paddles. Sometimes a flip flop or plastic spoon.
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Cps said in Ga to keep it below the butt but above the knees. The police officer I talked to about an unruly teen after I told him we had done everything but spank her(14) Bc spanking don’t work said spank her harder. (Btw we didn’t spank her we took all her things away) but it really depends on the state you are in. Spanking is not child abuse, not every parent believes in it but sometimes they need an old fashion butt whooping.
And to you parents telling her she’s the prblm I think you guys need a reality check ,!!!
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My oldest had these issues and it’s not bc of “being spoiled” at any time or point in there life.
That comment is presumptuous and ignora t of different types of kids. and just like you, you try it all and yet still no changes. No respect.
Allow natural consequences. He didn’t do his homework? Let him fail. He did clean? Deal with the embarrassment of no clean clothes for a day. Find what motivates him. It’s a self esteem/ and motivation issue.
You might have to give him a kick in the behind at first bc he’s stubborn(I did)
But get him into something. A club, a sport, an activity of some kind that can get him feeling motivated and uplifted to do his part in his life. Accept no laziness he tries at all. Of course his own time is important, like for anyone, but he has to learn balance.
As for cps, just stay open and honest. It’s legal to spank still in most states. Don’t sweat them. They’re really more inflated than they are anything serious. (And my personal opinion-useless when they actually are NEEDED in a bad situation)
Id also make it clear to your son since he wants to be a brat bc he got some discipline for his actions that things will now be different.
If he wants his vid game/and or phone he can earn 5mins for each chore he’s done.
If he wants to be disrespectful- lose 5min.
Some kids are just a struggle. They’re all different people.
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That’s not abuse to spank him. Sounds like he needs more for turning it to cps at all and controlling you instead of u controlling him. Stand your ground and work with CPS, maybe they have techniques they can help with.
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Whew these comments…I’m from the south. I grew up getting spankings and I’m perfectly fine. My boys also get spankings when they’ve been giving multiple chances and they’ve lost other privileges. My kids respect me, they respect their dad, and most times just the threat of a spanking is enough to redirect them.
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10 years old is too late to start discipline.
I’m a very very strict parent and my kids walk a straight line.
However, I’d never “whip” my kid w/ a belt that is cruel and solves nothing.
A tap on the butt w/ your hand is one thing and we’ve all survived that but a belt yeah no that’s not ok.
Honestly being through it 3 times. They do a wellness check up check your house and talk to you. Telk the truth also let them know everything that’s been happening. I had to do something similar with my son. But I had a cop friend come over and talk to him scared him and never had a problem after that. All my friend did was talk. Told him if he kept acting like that. He was gonna end up in Juvie. It made my son think he did t want to be away from me
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Get back to the basics.
Only provide necessities.
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Sounds like he needs therapy (to get the reasons behind his "misbehavior) and sounds like you need parenting classes to get a grip on your own frustration. Nothing he did warranted spanking (there aren’t any reasons Honesty but you definitely didn’t describe any) especially with a belt. 
I hope the cps worker doesn’t close the case until she sets both of you up with tools for the future, and I hope you take accountability and ask for help.
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Not sure what state you live in but a few years ago I had custody of my brother who was an unruly child and the judge told me busting his butt with a belt would probably help him and that it was discipline and not child abuse
The hand gets old, and hurts the vessels in the fingers…as long as you indeed did spank on the bottom🤷🏽♀️like they say it has to be on their behind…I don’t see a problem.
Make sure your home has food, each kid has a bed, etc.
They may reach your kid before they come to you…like at school . Visits from them may continue once a month for a few months but if in fact there is nothing abuse wise then they should be out if your hair fairly quickly. Does dad live in the home? If not maybe send him there 
depends on the dad (strict/lenient). Hope this helps:heavy_heart_exclamation:
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It sounds to me like there’s something bigger going on. What were his reasons for saying no? How was he being asked? Is there any SEN, perhaps a PDA profile?
I’m quite a firm believer that respect is earned mutually and should not be demanded, nor do I smack, yet my older children at 17 and 20 are pretty awesome humans who give me very little trouble. But then we have always spoken lots, and followed natural consequences.
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They will tell u don’t to use a belt .I have to say 
to u at least ur trying g to do something .some parents thinks it ok.
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Smh people act like you beat the ever living shit outta him, it was probably a 123 then done. Smh.
Stay strong. Therapy for your son forsure. Hopefully its just a parenting class. Dont listen to these other moms who are dropping their jaws abt this. No advice other than condemning you.
Wishing the best for you and hopefully your son sees how great life is. Maybe start watching some stuff about children who arent so lucky to live with their parent & could only dream about those things.
Y’all should save your " abuse" talk, for a child that’s actually abused 
That’s why kids are pricks these days, because we’d rather blame the parents for trying to get their children in check…Y’all would rather them grow up to be entitled punks. That think they can get away with everything.
Abuse? Really
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Did the belt leave marks ? There was a situation with my nephew once and cps said they could only do something if it left marks . It sounds like it didn’t with the way you went about it. And to all the people saying don’t smack your kids I remember being whooped one good time and it worked and I remember the whole situation …I was being way outta line and took off running circles around my house flipping my mom the bird when I was supposed to be in the corner for talking back multiple times that day…and we had people over. I have no negative recollection of it as an adult. Yeah I cried about it then but got over it . I personally wouldn’t hit my kid but I’ve never been in that situation yet. But like some of the other comments sounds like he may need counseling or something to help him with his emotions/feelings.
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Sounds like he’s being out of control honestly. Hell, the generation I grew up in got the belt and CPS probably would have provided it for my parents
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Hitting your child with an object is abuse. Your poor son. Get anger management and parenting classes for yourself and a good therapist for your child.
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You did nothing wrong in my opinion. Just tell them the truth about all that is happening and the steps that you have taken.
They should want to help and support your family not condemn and judge like most people who lack empathy do.
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My MIL worked for CPS in NE Oklahoma. All CPS does is they ask question. They meet with you to talk. They watch you in your home and if they don’t fine anything wrong(beside probably your son acting out and they will see it) then they will leave and have another meeting you for parenting advice and that’s it. You can always ask the CPS person question they aren’t there to do anything bad unless they see something bad.
I would also talk to your son about this and say. CPS(explain who they are and what they are going to do) and I would tell him that they “could” take him away and he would “never” see y’all again.
It’s like a scaring tactic
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Cps is Gona see it as you hit him with a weapon…
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I can’t believe all of these people defending the use a belt and hitting your kid
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That’s is why kids are how they are now… too much ppl in system hv issues with whooping… they hv issues but if he becomes a menace to society the state n everybody else will blame mom… ur child… u feed n support… ur rules… what CPS… so ppl can’t correct what they birth… is not abuse… u self explaining u give him 3 soft strokes… it was to be hard so he felt it… disrespect is sumtn a parent should never tolerate… he isn’t a toddler that u have to continuously speak too… he is 10 and and knows right from wrong.
Ur fear from CPS being called is the reason for this… u allowed him to begin early… eh nobody coming to my doorstep to tell me how to raise my children…
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“I was spanked and beaten as a kid and I’m fine.”
I’ve seen these stories and comments. Some of y’all are NOT fine.
If this spousal abuse, people wouldn’t think it was okay, so why is it okay for a child?
Glad cps was called.
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That’s considered corporal punishment, which in NY where I’m at the judge does not approve…
Some of Y’all wouldn’t have made it back in the day. Ya got your ass torn up with whatever your mama could reach. There was no crying to CPS.
A lot of y’all didn’t get punished as a child and it shows.
GENTLE PARENTING DOES NOT WORK FOR EVERYONE !
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I had this problem. Here’s what I did, after trying everything. I call it Drill Sargeant mode. I give a warning to clean your room. You don’t clean your room, that’s fine, I will, while you’re at school. I took EVERYTHING away EXCEPT bed and blankets. I left the dressers in there, but bare. I picked out the clothes the night before. I made my kids earn ALL their stuff back by doing chores and using manners was mandatory. I told them in advance, you have this week end to get this room clean, or I will clean it and I don’t care about your stuff, it has meaning to you, but not me. If you care about it, you’ll take care of it. You’re showing me, by this dirty room, that you don’t care about these things. I did in fact, have to throw away things that meant something to them, but not a lot. I did this right in front of them, with a clean trash bag. There were tears and begging and I said, words are useless here, show me with your actions, get cleaning. They would of course, be grounded to their rooms with nothing to do. No tv, no nothing, cause of course you’re grounded during this phase. You gotta stay cool and calm. It helps if they see you clean. You can help him by telling him to sort stuff with like items, and put them in piles, clothes together, shoes together, anything that needs to go outside the room gets put in a pile, because they will use any excuse to come out of the room, which I’ve taught my kids in this exercise, it’s not allowed. If you need some more help, message me. It’s so much easier to tell it than to write it. But basically, have him keep it clean for a week. After each week of everything staying clean and put away and chores getting done and being respectful, he can have one item back. If he starts lacking, you start all the way over. It will eventually get old to them. I’ve had to do this a handful of times with my kids. The most important thing to learn here, is that keeping calm and level are crucial, as he will pick up on bad behavior and run with it to get attention. Seriously, send me a message, I will help you. Talk to him and figure out what will make it easier for him. My kids don’t like to clean. I don’t like to clean. But after teaching them the way to sort things out and break it down, it got easier and less overwhelming. Good luck!
Depends where you are in the uk it’s illegal to harm a child by smacking etc im not saying whether I agree or not but Im just going by what the law is x
Your main problem was using a weapon. Cps will not like that.
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Okay so CPS has failed many children that has actually been in real danger, that being said… Just be honest, tell them everything that happened. They might just recommend a therapist and do a couple more visits. If your son continues to speak about abuse then that’s another situation.
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Do what I did Turn him over to CPS Let him get bounced around to group homes and foster homes for a while.He will realize he has a great life with you guys and be begging to come back home.That’s when you lay down the law .No more disrespect,obey house rules and no more lying.There is nothing abusive about a child obeying his parents
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It has been a hard year on our kids. I would look into family therapy or maybe a different therapist for him. Find time for you and him to have fun that he doesnt have to earn even if he is on punishment u can still crack a joke with him or make a meal he likes and still give him hugs. ( im not assuming you dont just saying its ok) Cps will tell you not to use an object. They might require parenting classes. Which honestly ive been to a few different ones and most of them are kinda fun to go to.
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I would get a lawyer right away if you want to keep your child.
If not, let them take him.
I live in Tennessee they still paddle in schools with a paddle! Maybe it depends on what state you live in.
I’ve dealt with CPS, they’ve wanted to steal my children on false allegations, so getting a lawyer right away in the beginning helps.
Know your rights with CPS, you do not have to sign anything you do not have allow them in your home, record everything, you do not have to do anything voluntarily make them get court orders.
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Omg I would go to that school and give them a good talking too that none of there business what goes on in your house. And I would talk to your child nothing leaves this house it none of there business they don’t care what happened to your house hold. I would wait to go to court and talk to the judge I wouldn’t even say anything to the CPS at all I wouldn’t do nothing they say you don’t have to the judge got the last say so
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As far as I know, it’s legal to spank with an open hand… even a cupped hand or fist is considered abuse. A belt is likely considered even worse.
I’d stay away from authoritarian parenting and lean more toward authoritative. Big difference
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Take him to the courts. Tell them he’s INCORRIGIBLE! let them put his lil ass in lock up for a while. See how he likes that. I wish my kids would! I’d open the door for cps and have his bag packed! 
U did nothing wrong mom. Be honest with cps. IMO not enough of this happens & that’s when they turn into out of control teens.
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Sorry you hit your child with a belt! That is child abuse!
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I’m glad cps are involved and yes it is abuse, you hit your son with a belt!
I don’t know how any parent can willing hit their child with a weapon and think it’s okay
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Tell them you made your statement and that’s the end of it. Corporal punishment is legal. Don’t invite them in!
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I had the exact same problem with my kids ,thought maybe a learning disability but no he is way above average. I did know he had extreme anxiety an panic attacks outside our home at 1 years old which was odd cause usually anxiety is cause by a lack of caring an not feeling safe an cared for , for example lots of child hood drama an feeling anxious in crowds groups an noises an lights can be a trigger.I knew right away what it was cause I have it an had since a young age , I kept those feelings to myself til my early 20s cause I wasn’t sure what the hell was wrong with me an had no self esteem for myself in any aspect an was always taught to never tell the truth to no one but our family no matter what happened. So I decided anxiety an panic attacks are hereditary as well as a coping mechanism the body uses to protect it self from people who can’t handle more trauma in life. So at 2 I put him in a private preschool for 2hrs a day an that was so very hard for both of us. He cried the entire time the first day an the next 3 months hid under the table. He wouldn’t talk or play with anyone for the first year but would listen an smile at things he thought was funny or interesting. He learned alot there because he has a great sight memory an would repeat everything he found interesting an enjoyed there constantly. Dale was an only child an was around me mostly everyday. I loved every minute of being a mom to him an I did everything for him , He was my miracle baby an first true love. I was hes best friend , cheerleader , helper ,housekeeper his everything ! Looking back now I realize I created his bad habits by over caring an being to help when he was little , I thought not letting him struggle to do things that upset him I thought I was being the helpful mom.I never wanted him to not feel loved or like he was never safe or endure such horrible things from the ones who are suppose to love you most.I way over compensated taking care of him I now realized I severally hindered some important basic lessons by constantly being there. He has no confidence in him self , has very little motivation to do things an is scared or feels terrified to not get it right the first time. I cause this cause I never praised him for basic simple tasks or encouraged him to try again I just did it for him an I am everything for him he wouldn’t even brush his own teeth I did for him til he was 7,I picked out hisclothes, cleaned his room was still wiping his butt for him at 7 an reminding him to go potty. By 7 he had a xbox 360 an Xbox live account. Ps4 ,cell phone ,smart TV an a computer an had all the cool outside toys an got everything he wanted just cause his mommy thought he was the greatest ,sweetest,cutess most selfless person that I created an I promised I would be the best mom an protect him.Well I definitely did everything whole heartily with love for him an everyone told me I was babying him I would snap there head off , Telling them not to worry about how I parent I’m not spoiling him but I created a monster he took no responsibility for his actions in 5th grade when he transfered to public school from private school. Diffrent culture, structure, rules everything was forgien to him an happened abruptly too. You have to go back to treating them like there 3 an following them on a daily routine til the start coming independent . At 10 our kids should learned an already lied an got disciplined an learned oh living is bad. Its hard to be an adult an be a compulsive liar. No one will respect you , believe you or trust you if you can’t take full responsibility like doing your best in school an my son said well I lied about it to you because I dont like to ask for help or you get frustrated cause sometimes it takes me longer. I said I might huff when trying to help you with math but I don’t yell an I love to help you but I want you to be able to have more responsibility an be a independent young man who leave my home for college. I am not going to cover for him for lying an my kids have 1 major job do there absolute best in school , What ever they sign up for you give 100% cause other team members are relying on you 3) always learning something from your mistakes an admit when your wrong an always say thankyou an sorry when needed an never give up there is always other option or ways an always another day! But your going to have to take away every thing ,an change the whole houses routine. Everyone has chores,duties ,rules an basic needs everyday of there life. Hes gonna need some one right by him cheering him on an not giving in to helping him so much. Yes there will be tears moments of failure an mistakes but thats where the lesson comes in an sometimes I realized with my son he thought it had to be done exactly my way cause til recently I would go behind him an re-learn or organize things my way even knowing he did his best an it was fine I am realizing I’m ocd an teaching him hes not good enough. Verbal praise is the best! Come up with a list of rules together , expectations, consequences an reward an praises. But everyone’s gonna change for this to work he will fight you tooth an nail to get you to give in or give up but don’t! You both will be so much more happier. My son got his own bank account this year an I allow him to decide what he spends it on. Now once your confident there responsible enough remember there kids an will try to take several short cuts but usually there is more to the reason on why they did when they know better not to an boys won’t always know how to tell you how they feel not sure where my son thinks crying is for babies an they should be embarrassed to have there feelings hurt. Boys are human too an its harder on them in school than it was 4 us. They also have tons of help an resources an talk so openly about things we weren’t even aloud to say to anyone .Best of luck its a life charging situation for the whole house but key is listening to everyone We have a family recharge night were we discuss openly any problems or issues we have with a low voice an no speaking til the person is done an no replying nasty to someone’s feelings everyone gets acknowledge. Its fun an challenging at first doing these changes but you will start to see more responsible , happy kids , They will be so proud when they can complete an turn in assignments by them selves , is he not doing work because he feel behind? Doesn’t like to ask for help outloud cause kids are mean? Are assignments not being turned in like specific assignments like essay , group project or something he doesn’t know . Hes going to great lengths to lose everything best of luck an understanding for you an especially him. Let him know how important his responsibilities are an his word an if he needs help or more study time reach out everyone learns diffrent an sometimes the 1 on 1 attention is what they really needed. Kids actually crave routine , schedule an responsibility . Nothing makes a child feel better then approval an praise from loved ones.My kids come to me for everything thing now an no matter how silly it is remember its a big deal to them.Kids these days are suppose to all be perfect inside an out at everything an thats not what we want our kids worrying about.I want my kid confident to ask outloud for help or even offer diffrent ways to explain or help someone cause there is always more ways than 1 to get something done.
I remember when the Principals called them on me I went off on her they can not tell you what to do my case got dismissed within a month don’t let them people tell u what to do stand your ground
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If had the same issues with my son. Also 10 years old. I have stripped his room clean all he has is his bed and dresser. No toys, Xbox, phone, or TV. He has lost ALL privileges. Essential needs only. Basically he is being “Jailed” in his bedroom. I also make him do chores and write lines. I have not whooped him as of yet, but Commonwealth of Kentucky doesn’t hold parents for corporal punishment. When my brother was 17, he was being defiant and disrespectful and literally got PUNCHED in the face by my mother when he got picked up from a party (drunk and disorderly) the next day he called the cops and tried to get her in trouble. The cop came, and did a walkthrough and said “I’d whoop you too if you were my kid, the way your room looks”. 
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I believe it’s a law as long as you don’t hit them in the face your allowed to spank your child I honestly don’t think your gonna get in serious trouble I bet they have y’all do parenting classes if anything
Some criticism just isn’t constructive. I hear a mom who is frustrated and needs help dealing with a child who certainly has more issues than most of us have the expertise to diagnose. Both of you could benefit from some counseling. Your child should also get testing to see if there are any diagnosed issues. I do not see why CPS would do more than talk at this time. I am by no means a expert but it doesn’t sound as if he had welts or bruises all over his body. What you did was clearly out of frustration CPS, you need help in finding what would be more effective going forward. Meet with them and tell them the issues you are having. Their job is to help children and families.
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Sounds like he needs to have EVERYTHING thing taken away from him except essentials. He can earn them back with good behavior. Sending him to boarding school or military school could also help
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Send him to Lagos and watch him readjust …spare the rod and spoil d child…if u don’t end up getting a hold of the situation when he’s still this young…don’t think you’ll ever be able to in the long run
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First of all, stop abusing your kid. There is no excuse to EVER use a weapon to hurt your child.
Being hit is probably why he’s acting out.
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People calling a belt a “weapon”…so if i come at you with a belt are you gonna fear for your life?? its a BELT!!!
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I know in my state it’s legal to spank your kid only with your hand and it has to be a open hand and not leave any mark. At least you were honest with them about what happened. I’d definitely consult with a lawyer just to be safe.
I would talk to them and see if they can help with his behavior.
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Super glad cps is involved he should not be in your care, would you want to be hit? For literally any reason?? No didn’t think so neither does he!!! He’s just as much of a person as you are!!! Raising kids is hard, if you didn’t want to deal with hard parts you shouldn’t have had a kid!!! I hope your case worker find him a much better home!!!
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I’m not sure what they will do. The bible says if you spare the rod you will spoil the child. I am curious what they tell you will you keep us posted
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I just need everyone defending this to answer me. When you do something that upsets your spouse, does that warrant them to “spank” you or vise versa?
Children’s brains are still developing, you cannot “spank” them into it developing faster. Also if you notice a behavior change after “spanking” them. That’s not because they learned, it’s because they fear you not because they know right from wrong. Your child should never fear you.
You still do things wrong as an adult. We all do, and our brains ARE developed. You should be “spanked” anytime you skip your chores? Or are disrespectful?
The answer is no, so why is it okay yo do to child who’s brains and impulses aren’t fully developed yet? (25 years old is around the time it develops fully)
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I was told by a police officer to bust my sins butt. Just don’t leave any permit marks. They have to follow up every report. I wouldn’t worry about it. Tell the truth and all will be fine
Oh man, all these people you hit your kid that’s abuse have clearly never known child abuse. So funny
Be honest with CPS or whatever it’s called in your country. Talk to your son about his disrespect and what might just happen to him if he goes to foster care. But never show fear. Disappointment might be a good word to use, I’ve used that with my boy. It’s been a trial. He is 14, came home yesterday and tells me this real sweet and nice girl asked him on a date. I’ve never seen his attitude change so much. Every kid is different.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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Remain calm and honest. Start recording his behavior towards you at home. That alone will prove he’s not an abused child but instead a spoiled, out of control brat. Cps deals with this stuff. They are trained to see the difference. Abused children don’t pitch fits and talk back to their abusers. Get your proof ready, stay calm, present yourself and your story as it is with a fresh recording of him acting out towards you. They will offer you help with services designed to help both of you
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Listen, kids need discipline yes. But the belt? That’s a disgusting and outdated method 
good luck?
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You can smack your kids as long as there isn’t a mark.
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Sorry its extremely long but this is a serious problem I dont have all the answers but something is definitely going on , sounds like you all love him an want to help him but this age every adult who is a big part in his life need to be on same page an understand all of you need to be held accountable small an big rewards .Til his grades are up definitely no computer on school days in room an maybe after a week we can throw in phone time but all responsibility first. My sons 14 daughter 10 man I love them both but we have really learned listening an acknowledging someone feelings is key to all ,feeling heard , appreciated an understood seems like alot at first but stick with it an FYI every beginning of school year we start from scratch cause some teachers he diffrent issues with how they teach or explain things an now my son love speaking up an showing diffrent ways to solve a problem or reason to a problem you would of never thought to ask. I’ve learned alot about my son in the past 4 years . Ultimately were all human an given time an respect to anyone you love on a constant basis is the most rewarding I love an respect you to anyone.