What do I do with my two year old at night to keep my sanity?

I have an almost two year old son, he used to sleep through the night like a charm! Always slept in his crib independently and never woke up during the night. Till recently about a month ago he started wanting to come into the bed. He would wake up during the night crying. We let him come into the bed because I figured maybe he was scared? We let it continue because we have a 5 month old. To avoid my crying 2 year from waking the baby up we just let him sleep with us. Now it has gotten to the point where we can’t even transfer him in his bed without him screaming at the top of his lungs and waking up our baby. He wakes up during the night screaming and the only thing that will pacify him back to sleep is drinking a cup of water. That sounds okay right? Well, he wakes up now multiples times during the night for water and it goes straight through his diaper and onto our bed! So it’s been a struggle. I know we should of stopped it when it happened the first time, but I’m still learning. He has definitely entered the “terrible twos” because now he just screams whenever he wants anything and throwing tantrums. He doesn’t use his words and just screams like crazy. Like I said my husband and I gave into it fo avoid waking up/disturbing out 5 month old. We have tried giving him warm baths with lavender before bed but it hasn’t helped us one bit! Please help, I’m still learning to be a good mom, but sometimes I feel like I’m failing most days…

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Have you tried turning on some calming music an letting it play?

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Hey mama! Ur doing great!! Best advice ik to give is just breathe!!! This to shall pass! I hope everyone else can offer u better advice but hold ur head up, u got this!!!

My 18 month old is doing same thing. We buy nighttime diapers for him to wear at night now

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He could be having night terrors momma

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I’d talk with a behavioral therapist to get a sleep consult. There could be something deeper going on, momma. Don’t be scared to ask for help. :heart:

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We never co-slept but I understand the letting them in when you have a tiny baby in your room.
Now he’s 3 and she’s 1, so not in our room anymore. They both have a hatch and we use it religiously, let him pick what color he wants it to be on. I would also look into “redecorating” his room or giving him a big boy room. Something that would interest him!
Our little did it for a minute and we just figured it was night terrors, we didn’t let him into bed because I literally can not sleep with a baby in the bed but just soothed him and try to keep your cool… no matter how many times you have to get up. If he understands, try explaining he needs to stay in his bed and he can’t always get water. One and that’s it.
I know it’s so trying on your sanity but it’ll get better!

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My oldest used to do this. It’s pretty standard for that age to find some sort of bed time delayer. As much as it sucks at some point your kid is going to have to learn that screaming and throwing a tantrum will never get them what they want. Let them throw a fit in their room and be consistent about bringing him back to his own bed each time. You might have to do it 100 times and there will be lots of stress and crying but as long as you keep caving to tantrums they will keep using them to get what they want. These kids have no boundaries. It’s up to you to teach them or they will wall all over you.

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There is a 2 yr sleep regression so it could be that or maybe he’s hungry, try getting more food in his belly throughout the day.
My 2 yr old eats more than my 3.5 yr old right now

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Johnson calming bath before bed and then a “ sleepover pull-up “ on and a cup of warm milk . He should sleep well and so should y’all .

Call your pediatrician and please have him checked for diabetes

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Leave a night light on. He’s scared. Normal for his age.

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Maybe buy a copy of “The No Cry Sleep Solution”

Don’t blame yourself. We all have to learn and try to balance everything. Unfortunately I think the only answer is to let him scream and figure out screaming won’t get him what he wants. They understand sooooo much more then they can speak. So I would start by telling him the plan for the night and then follow that plan. It will take a few nights but he will get it. I don’t believe in cry it out so I would personally go in there and explain to him it’s time to go to sleep. Everything will be ok and we will see you in the morning. Maybe hold his hand🤷‍♀️. Good luck momma.

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Please have his blood sugar checked!

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He could be teething.

The sleeping and peeing out what he drinks can be a sign of diabetes or pancreas issues. Why not check before judgment. He does not have words yet and the communication is feelings. Trust your gut and listen. It could go either way but the medical you can do now and figure out the rest as you go.

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Don’t be so hard on your self mom. Your doing a great job. Mommin is hard. :pray:t2::two_hearts:

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The only thing that help me thru this was praying ahead of time during the day so taht my baby will sleep thru the night

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I let my kids sleep with my until they were around 3-4 so I’m no help lol it was easier and at that age I got them excited about making their rooms special and somewhere they enjoyed going.

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He is reacting to change in his family. He may also be frightened by a shadow or something he thinks he saw in his room. This may be way off but you need to have him checked for diabetes. Drinking and peeing it right out would raise that possibility.

It’s actually normal when there’s a new baby in the house,he is trying to get your attention in any form. Try making a day,even if it’s just n hour with him alone without the baby daily.

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He could be sad or upset about the new baby. Maybe he just needs more attention, which obviously isn’t always easy with two little ones. Sounds like he’s scared of being away from you. Have you tried sitting in his room with him while he falls asleep? And just stay in there for a little bit after just in case he opens his eyes to check, after a while of knowing you’re still there, he should calm down a bit

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I would get his pediatrician involved. Seems like there might be an underlying issue causing this, figuring out what that is could be the whole solution. And also- You sound like a great mama, you love your babies! Good luck :two_hearts:

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If all health things check out- we did the “sleep fairy” she would bring small gifts if my daughter slept the entire night in her bed. Such as piece of candy, a sticker or tattoo. After about a month of that the sleep fairy left a note explain that if she slept her her bed for 7 days straight she would get a bigger gift (5 dollar max) . Did that for about a month after that we did one whole month and she got a kite because that’s what she had been into for a while. We’ve had minor hiccups since but for the most part she sleeps in her bed and is happy to do so :heart: this might not work for everyone but it did for us

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I had the exact same problem when my son was little and his brother was just born. His pediatrician told me to go purchase a book called “solving your child’s sleep problems” by Richard Ferber. It worked like a charm! Even tho that has been 36 years ago, I will never forget the book that saved my life.

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Around 2 years old my daughter started waking in the night. We were told it could be allergies. A bit of nasal drainage could be irritating her throat after laying down. We started giving her children’s Claritin and that helped. Not sure if it would help but figured I’d throw it out there.

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Same boat resulted in cot in our room

I mean my son is 5 and still sleeps with us. It’s a fight that I’m sometimes just not willing to make :heart:

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Put him in his own bed and lock your door (or his from the outside) pay the price now or he will be sleeping with you until puberty.
Medicate if you have to

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When my almost 2 year old did that he was actually to warm and it caused night terrors. Maybe try putting him to bed with less clothing?

You are already a good mom. A good mom reaches out for help when she needs it or advise. :heart:keep it up.

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Aww you are so not failing!

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Maybe a nightlight and sound machine? Or special stuffed animal or blanket? They make stuffed animals that have lavender inside and can be warmed in the microwave, those can be very comforting. Otherwise, my thoughts are with you on the Terrible Twos, but just know that they do end!

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It will pass, and then you will wish you could bring back time.

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The sleep pattern has changed now so he can’t sleep through the night without all of these things. Take them away one at a time until his body learns to go without. Water before bed, no more after. Every time he gets up, take him back to his bed, say “time to go to sleep, I love you goodnight” and walk out. Do it every single time until he learns there’s no point getting up. And don’t pat him to sleep or he will be physically unable to go back to sleep on his own if he wakes up. If a child goes to sleep with mum or dad patting them, that’s the same situation they need to get back to sleep if they wake through the night.
You might be in for a rough few weeks of sleeplessness doing this but it will work with 100 percent consistency.

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Unless you believe there is an underlying reason for this behavior, then it’s just that he woke up one night and you allowed him to sleep with you, now he knows all he has to do is scream and to quiet him, you’ll let him get his way and sleep in your bed. It’s going to suck for you and dad, but for three nights in a row, give him a drink and a snack, give him a bath, tuck him in, and leave him. If he wakes up screaming, you have to enforce him staying in his own bed… even if that means that the whole house is woken up. No drinks past 7. No getting out of his bed. As for the terrible twos… you can’t acknowledge the temper tantrums. By acknowledging them, he gets his way and knows that if he kicks and screams and throws a fit, he will get his way. When my kids were little and we were at home and they threw temper tantrums, I would throw a bigger temper tantrum… screaming, yelling, throwing myself to the ground… usually me doing that made them stop and be like “wtf is wrong with mom”. That usually stopped it. If we were in public and they did it, I would walk away from them. When they realized I was walking away, they would jump up and run after me. Whatever you choose to do, be consistent. You’re going to be exhausted either way, but sleep training him in his own room is going to result in less sleep deprivation in the long run.

First off every mom has that feeling it’s normal to feel like you are failing at times that’s a sign of a good momma! I know I watched nanny 911 and learned to sleep train my kiddo by her techniques. It’s hard and frustrating but when it works it works. Also try neat lights like a galaxy light. You will find the right way that works just be consistent. Good luck momma :heartbeat:

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Try cutting his naps out

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Try an oatmeal bath. Great for rashes, but my mom used to stick me in one when i couldnt sleep or wouldnt settle down as a little kid, they used to knock me right out.

He has learned when he throws fits he gets his way now u have to let him know it doesn’t work anymore

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I use these about 30min - 1 hr before bed

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We struggled with this too. We ended up putting a crib mattress on our floor near our bed and he learned to just go there at night and not disturb us unless he really needed us. You could also talk to your pediatrician about supplements like magnesium. Soothing sounds like rain or oceans…. Lavender essential oil in his room….

I’ve been in those trenches and they still come in waves. Hugs mama.

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Recognizing that you’re still learning is so important. None of us were parents until we one day we just were. Navigating through life is rough. Go with the flow mama. Take advice when wanted and understand everything is ultimately your decision. I think it’s gonna be a stick it out type of thing. Let him cry and figure out another way to comfort himself. He knows you’re his safe space and will still love you with all of him. Hugs cause I know how you feel. Good luck.

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You’re not failing! You’re surviving! We can try our best and our hardest to get them into a routine, but they still are their own individual selves.
I’m not saying this is the solution, but for us, the only way we could all get sleep was to allow our daughter to sleep on a crib mattress on the floor in our room. Then it transitioned to a fun new bed she picked out that we were lucky enough to place in her room Nextdoor where she could see our room. I don’t like using the sentiments that this doesn’t last forever, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You’re in the thick of it right now with two babies :gift_heart: Gotta do what’cha got do to survive! No matter what others say! Best wishes! :crossed_fingers:t3::four_leaf_clover:

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You’re doing awesome! :heart:

Yes it’s a learning curve and you have another little one in the house now to to might take a bit for the older one to adjust , but with the child wanting so much water and floating the bed at night might no hurt to get an appointment with his pedi to rule out bladder /kidney issues or blood sugar issue just in case…

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Is he having really bad nightmares? Maybe a nightlight can help and some soothing music

My son does this too. He has speech apraxia and I’m gonna get him tested for autism again. (He was too young to actually get an accurate rating the first time around) but he’ll wake up screaming and sometimes he’ll wake up his twin brother. Or he’ll come into my room and wake up his 3 month old sister. Really annoying!! It got bad, I just let him sleep with me. For weeks. (I mean What mom doesn’t wanna cuddle with their baby?! And he’s been sick. Just started daycare). And now he won’t sleep in his bed. I had to let him cry it out. First few days. And then I realized he loves his GIANT T. rex. And now he goes to bed peacefully. No tv after 6 some nights. We eat dinner, take baths/olay in water, and read a book per kid. They also have a Hatch. They pick the color and sound. Brantley (the brother) won’t sleep without his weighted blanket tho.

So in other words, let him cry it out if he has too. I do check on my kids when it’s a pain cry. Like a nightmare. I rub his head and say it’s okay. But find stuff that comforts him to sleep. A stuffed animal. A blanket. A pillow. (My kids been cuddling ‘the very hungry caterpillars’ book. Idek why. But whatever helps him sleep​:joy:) Sleeping with a new baby is hard. It’s even hard when you have a toddler sleeping with you too. Keep up the good work! :heart::heart:

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Our two year old started doing this right when she turned 2. Previously slept in her crib with no issues. We bought a play pen to use when we went camping but now we put it next to our bed and works for her. I think she just needed to feel safe and be in the same room with us.

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When my daughter went threw the crying because I need mommy and daddy every second of every day our doctor said it might be time to let her learn to self sooth or the cry out method and Ik your worried about the new baby but I few nights of him crying it out might help a lot also It might be time to go from the crib to a big boy bed my daughter stopped taking naps and it took her longer to go to sleep in her crib then we got a big girl bed and everything changed for her

For the leakage I would suggest making the change to pull ups if you’re still using diapers. Would suggest a small toddler bed in your room until hes a little older and a leakproof sippy cup to keep beside his bed so he doesn’t wake you as much. Maybe try a radio on low volume or a soothing sounds machine! My little guy can only sleep with his TV on and his bedtime lullaby fish videos on YouTube playing in his room.

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First you’re not failing as a mom. Sleep regression is normal for that age, but you’ve got to slowly transition him out of your bed. Its hard because of your younger child so I absolutely get not wanting to disturb him too. I wish I had actual advice but I don’t I just wanted to tell you you’re NOT failing as a mom!

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That’s because you give him his way…let him throw his fit and keep him in his crib and it will pass…

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If he is continuing to wake up in the middle of the night screaming and crying, there is a high possibility that he is having “night terrors”. I have 4 kids (all teenagers now) and my 3 boys all had night terrors. They aren’t actually awake (even though they appear to be, it’s akin to sleepwalking) and the best thing to do is to just rub their backs and talk calmly to them until it subsides. (I know this part is stressful, tiring and agonizing because I have been there, but it is the best thing to do because like sleepwalking, you don’t want to “force them awake”). It will subside eventually (this is actually a very common occurrence in this age group) I promise. Try not to allow him to drink an entire sippy of water (and make sure the spout is still keeping the water in as over time they will break down and leak). If you don’t want to deprive him of that sippy, then something that will save your sanity is to go onto Amazon and buy several large waterproof bed pads (like the kind they use in the hospital) they work phenomenally at absorbing fluids of all kinds (I have used them for my senior dogs as well as my kids) and if you have several you can easily switch out the used one with a dry one as needed.

KANECH Bed Pads for Incontinence Washable – 44 x 52 Inches - Extra 5 Layer - Waterproof Pads for Adult,Children,Pets https://www.amazon.com/dp/B076X1LF6R/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_VCC3B4BZE6GSET3MW4DN?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

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Could he be teething… my daughter is 10 now but age 2 she had teeth still coming in… he could be having pain…

You better nip this in the butt. He’s probably pushing the limits because he can he gets his way. Kids do not need water all through the night at his age. That’s why he filling up his pull ups. I would put a plastic cover over so it does not soak into the mattress. Also no drinks after a certain time. You need to take back you power he running the family and he to little to do that. Maybe bring the baby in your room then he can have his room back. He might surprise you and go back to sleeping in his own bed and not waking up until morning. Good luck get some sleep you sound like you need some.

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Have you tried putting a full or Queen size bed in his room so one of y’all can go to bed with him in there then you can go to your room once he’s asleep so you aren’t transferring him. If it’s night terrors he’s having he will out grow them. You might go crazy in the mean time but it does get better I promise

I would take him to the doctor to rule out things. My son did this for a while around that age too. We gave in a first because we where just so tired and he would cry when we transition him to his room. My husband and I took turns staying with him in his room. At first we set up a night light which helped, then we gave him a flashlight. We stared with having a nightly routine, bath time , story time, bed time. I would stay with him until he would fall asleep and then sneak off to my room. When he would wake up we would take him back to his room no matter how much he would cry. It was hard work at first, but he ended up staying in his room and letting us sleep.

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kick the hubby out and co sleep with the babies. It’s what I would do lol

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I would schedule a doctors visit. Explain to his doctors what’s going on and ask for a diabetes test.

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Try changing his mattress if it makes noise they will wake there selfs up. Lites and music always put mine to sleep.

Lay down a mattress right on the floor then you don’t have to worry about him falling out of bed. I had a sound machine my daughter wouldn’t sleep without it. It had a nightlight with stars on the ceiling also. Lastly get a gate and it will keep him in his room. He will cry hysterically likely for a few days. Not ideal with your newborn but I promise you eventually he will stop.

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Maybe give him a sippy cup for bed, that’s what we do with our daughter (19mos).

Maybe???
Maybe you have a ghost?
It happened to my husband when his son was only one.
Screaming at night inconsolably until someone came and saved him.

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You could try a white noise machine (shusher), check if teething, keep his room cool
at night or maybe even a sleep sack may help. Good luck to you guys!

Stick to a strict bedtime routine. Ex: dinner, play, bath, a story, bed. Keep doing this over and over. My daughter did the same thing. It’s exhausting but you’ll get through this💛

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You said his tantrums have progressed to more than bedtime. You need to not give in to him. It doesn’t take long for them to learn he screams and gets his way.

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Be a parent…he playing you…kids learn quick and he learned that if he screams and throws a tantrum he going to get what he wants because you give in to his BS…let your no mean no…not let your no mean yes cause I can’t deal with your BS so I give into you and let you have your way. He holding you all hostage and you paying the ransom and as he gets older it is only going to get worse. Let him scream in his crib. He will finally fall asleep and learn that his screaming and temper tantrums won’t work. Oh and get ear plugs for your ears they won’t fully drown out the noise but will tone it down enough to be bearable

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Im going through that with our two year old she doesn’t sleep in her crib. She will climb out of it. We even turn her crib to toddler bed. You’re not a failure.

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My youngest hasn’t slept through a single night since she was born. She is four… Every child is different, but try to rule every issue out first because if not nothing you do will matter and only make it worse for the child. Outside of that, try different tricks to see if any work and if nothing does, just know they will eventually grow out of it… God willing lol.

Look up sleep regression

Have you had his blood sugars tested extreme thirst waking at night multiple times can be do to diabetes. Id have him checked to make sure that’s not the underlying issue

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He is only a baby still you know what he’ll only be small for a little while so for your own sanity let him sleep with you . When his sister or brother is older they can share a room . I have an almost 3 year old and he still sleeps with me and it keeps him happy. Happy child happy mom

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Jealous of the 5 mth old maybe? He’s not the baby any more :woman_shrugging:t3: awe hope you find out, sleep is so important. :sleeping:

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You’re not failing at all you’re doing the best you can. My daughter started waking up alot at night as well and it was exhausting. First it was teething, then it was she was afraid of the dark, she unfortunately seems to take after me and gets nightmares pretty often :disappointed_relieved:
Maybe see if the pediatrician has any suggestions??

Accept the fact that your child is going through different stages of development, and that his needs change.

Do not let him cry it out. Comfort him and be there for him. Don’t give in when he has tantrums - don’t teach him that he can have his way if he does. But don’t leave him alone with his feelings. He needs your help to navigate them.

Also, he is a big brother now, and that is a big change in his life. He is entitled to have feelings and a reaction to that.

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You keep telling yourself “this, too, shall pass” all my children did the same around the 2 yr mark…

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Tara Brady few tips for u to read

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So if u don’t want to co sleep try putting like a little bed by ur bed

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Be the parent , set the rules and abide by them ! He’s not the boss , you are !! Explain what you are going to do and stick with it …, let him cry it out … put the baby in your room temporarily and shut the door !

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Maybe let him cry, instead of giving in to what he wants I suggest you let him cried but put him back in his bed! I would rather him wake the baby a couple of nights then to have him continue his tantrums! There is also a prayer of the holy prayer making a cross sign on his head to keep bad dreams from happening to him! It worked for my girls! They always slept alone in their room!

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You may have to implement a super nanny technique and keep putting him back in his own bed over and over again until he accepts it

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Have him be checked for diabetes

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Hear me out…never would’ve believed it until I tried it. My son HATED his crib (he’s 2), I got him a toddler bed & he absolutely loves sleeping in his own bed. He’ll even lay in it without me in the room (I have a baby monitor) & watch a movie when before he would’ve been crying constantly because he’s slept with me since the day he was born litteraly. I guess it feels more similar to my bed & he doesn’t feel so trapped because he can’t get up if he wakes up scared in the middle of the night.

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First of all… you are NOT a failure. You got this.

I know it’s rough, I had the same problem with my first… but you have to nip it now.
I agree with the above advice, no water after a certain time, and do the “super nanny”… keep putting him in his own bed. And yes, you may need to talk to doctor too… it may be an emotional response to the new baby, or could be night terrors (my oldest had those… no fun at all). Could be a number of things. Just be confident, consistent and try to stay calm. It’s hard, but you’ll get through it. Good luck!

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My 4 year old granddaughter still does it , they’ve started putting her into her own bed but always ends up going into my daughters bed during the night cause she’s so adorable she gets away with it lol, Paige Louise Dingemans u need answers to

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I let my daughter sleep with me until she was 3 ,3 and a half and then she outgrew it on her own ,every once in awhile she will have a few sips of water before bed ,she listens to jazz music every night and I try and read to her or talk to her before bed as well ,no one can give you the perfect advice honestly

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Our oldest did this at that age and her bed was in our room and it was out of no where and after a month or two we switched out her bed to a twin bed and she never got back in our bed. I think her crib mattress wasn’t comfy any more.

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Music,night light,no water after certain times ,praise for sleeping alone etc ,talk to Dr

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Well since no one else is mentioning this…. From what I understand it can be quite common for a toddler to show some signs of regression with a new baby in the house. It may be their way of asking for more attention or voicing how they feel without knowing how to put it in words. My middle child was nearly completely potty trained and when baby came went right back to diapers. I agree you should not let the behavior continue of screaming to get what they want, so please try suggestions above of a different bed or boundary setting. I suggest also trying to find special times or moments for just them and you, though I realize how hard that is with an infant. Maybe make bedtime extra special for them with a snuggle in their big bed and a book or story? Extra special time with mom and dad during the day while baby is napping. Get creative, they may just be feeling left out.

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Does he take a nap? All 4 of my kids had to quite naps around 2-2.5 to get a good night’s sleep.

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Put him to bed screaming and be firm voiced.Give him a stuffy.Dont worry about waking baby.you gotta be consistent with the Lil guy or he will run the roost.I had same issues.2 boys 14 months apart.I did Pat there back for comfort in the crib.But when crawling out of crib I say no back to bed!

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I read years ago to go to the childs bed n get in w/them till they fall back to sleep n then my son got more comfortable sleeping in his bed alone…I think it’s call Separation anxiety.

When my son was about 2 we had to stop nap time during the day cause he would on sleep 3-4 hours at night. Took away that hour and a half nap during the day and he would crash after story time. The first one or two of no nap was a little hard cause he would get so cranky but once he got use to it everything was great

Have you had him checked physically. Is there Diabetes in your Families, I’m asking because of the water. I’d suggest get him checked to be safe, this sound like it is a change, better safe… Good Look

Just know your a great mommy! You care andtry not to stress! I remember singing softly songs while my boy was screaming at 2 am with baby in other room.It gets better.Keep up the good work.Its a long phase till they get older.You know what to do for you already.Dont doubt yourself.Take deep breaths.Read baby some books.Keep on loving snuggles.I was on mommy zombie auto pilot for a long time.

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