This is why getting into a serious relationship at 15/16 yrs old is not a good idea. You never got to live life or do things just for you. Talk with your husband and go from there.
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When my husband and I start to drift apart I decided excitement was needed. I watched the route he drive everyday from work to our home for about three weeks, then I bought a long coat and a sexy teddy night gown. One day after a distant night I put the sexy teddy gown on and the long coat over me and walked to the corner where the stop sign was before our house. Yep the next step I did was crazy, kinda of scary but I wanted to do something to start the fire we were loosing in our marriage. Any way as he drove up to the stop sign and stopped I whistled and flashed him, needless to say after a small ass chewing I explained gently I didnât want it marriage to slip away well the spark turned into a flame. My husband is now deceased (45 years of marriage we made) but he said that day he changed allot in him for he didnât know what to expect from me and it also showed him I was still interested in him. Sometime a little crazy can go a long way
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So you went black and canât go back? Lol
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Iâve been with my husband since high school. Iâm 46 and 3 kids later, weâre still here. There are days I look at him and think heâs really let himself go and doesnât seem to care about this appearance, some disgusting habits. Then I stop to think about our life together and how heâs a good man. Just remember why you are really together, Iâm sure it wasnât all about looks.
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Sometimes you grow up and find you have nothing in common anymore. Go with your heart you only live onceâ¤ď¸
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I know the feeling my husband and I been together since 16 Iâm 47 now and just few years ago I noticed we just not the same anymore
You need therapy. Many hours of therapy
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I would suggest some councilling u can get thru ur gp most gps have a service they can recommend and u can get free family/whanu councilling. Or try ur local plunket they will be able to help steer u in right direction. Dont give thete is hope yes we may grow apart but sumtimes threapy can be very beneficial for both partys.
Relearn who each other are or walk away. Nothing wrong with doing either. Staying together âfor the kidsâ is unhealthy for everyone involved. Make sure to reassure the kids it is not because of them if you two decide to separate. Explain that you have love and appreciation for each other but you no longer love each other in a romantic way. We all grow as we get older. Sometimes who we think is our forever become nearly a stranger over the years and thatâs ok. You both have to do whatâs best for yourselves so the kids know that they are never stuck with anyone but to know when a relationship just doesnât work anymore. There doesnât have to be a bad person and a good person. Sit down with one another and have a deep talk about your next steps. Either therapy joint and or separately or it is over and its best to walk while its still amicably.
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How do you say youâve already started to cheat on your husband without actually saying it?
That part where you say, âmy husband and I are white, but Iâm no longer into thatâ, is what gave it away. Cool, you got you another man of a different race. I encourage mixing. Lotsa beautiful people come from mixed relations. Whatâs not cool is doing shyte behind ya mans back and try that âwe drift apartâ excuse. Do better.
Find a way to fall back in love because you both took a vow until death.
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Try counselling. It may resolve some issues that may be present. And then you will have a better idea of what you really want and where you stand
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How about live up to your vows and remember why you fell in love with each other. Marriage is hard work and as soon as one person gives up, thatâs it! There should be no giving up in marriage!
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Tell your husband to get a tan 
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Please do what you feel is best. Donât get up years from now and its wasted. I sincerely hope that you can find your way back to loving your husband but please donât run into the arms of another man. You will regret that.
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I recommend finding some time to reconnect. Try a trip alone. Do some things together that are out of your comfort zone.
Iâve been with my husband for almost 30 years since I was 17yrs old. Our 4children are all grown and we have 5 grandbabies. We have had those times over the years to where it felt as if we have grown apart and nothing was going to fix it. But we talked, we reminisced, we started a date night every 2 wks and we not only remembered why we fell in love in the first place, but we fell in love with each other all over again.
Im walking those shoes as we speak⌠So im no help.
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For better or worse?
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Just do youâŚbe kind. Follow ur heart. U did say no bashing, right? Angry folks out there
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SisâŚyou got married as a childâŚnow youâre a grown adultâŚitâs only natural to changeâŚbecause you grew up. Sexual preference means a lotâŚso if you cant find a way to be attracted to your husband anymoreâŚget a divorceâŚjust donât cheat! And kids donât need to brought up around a marriage that isnât rightâŚthey learn bad habits thenâŚwe live one lifeâŚdonât waste it on not feeling happy and whole.
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If itâs broke you fix it, donât walk away from it for someone you think is better. You both need to start dating each other again. Donât cash in on what you built find counselingâŚ
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I would look into a book called "First Kill all the Marriage Counselors "
Only you can decide what is best for you and your future. Not what others tell you to do. The book may open your eyes to things you didnt see before. Can either help you move on or help you fix things. It is just something you have to decide. 
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Maybe try to start dating him again? When you are with someone for that long you get into ruts. Find a way out of the rut mama!
I dont understand one thing in this question. You are into that anymore? Wait what? Marriage is supposed to be forever but if you arent happy you need to talk to your husband. But im just so confused. About how him being white is something you just arent into anymore. Thats one of the most ridiculous and racist things i have ever heard. You dont choose people based on what they look like. You love based on their heart and their personality. I dont think anyones color should determine what you are into. Or who you love.
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Roxane Nathan âwe are both white⌠Iâm no longer into thatâ 
well if this isnât me Iâll be damned haha
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Life is too short to be unhappy. It happens to a lot of us. The best advice I can give you is to move on
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Been there pregnant and married at 16 tried for 30 years couldnt handle it anymore, don,t waste your life, don,t jump into a new relationship grow into yourself before you commit again
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I couldâve taken this post seriously and given sound advice but then that last part âwe are both white, Iâm no longer into thatâ is what killed it! Just say it like it is, you obviously want to be with a darker man and call it a day! No amount of counselling or advice on this planet is going to change your husbands skin colour! The poor guy doesnât stand a chance to make you happy at all!!
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I am confused also, it sounds to me like you are finding yourself attracted to dark men. Fifteen is far too young to have made a commitment to anyone, of course you will change, you both will. Most people do have attractions to others throughout their lives ,it is normal. Find another type of challenge to occupy your mind and energy.
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I canât understand why you both been white is included.
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15 to 31 you both are not the same person you were 15 yrs ago⌠if you love each other , work on it, if you dontâŚits ok. Its better to make you both happy then to live miserably. Good luck.
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I think she has already went on the dark side and now is looking for justification on her moving on and wanting everyones fake, you go girl or so happy for you crap while ruining her familyâs lives!
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It can happen and you should not feel ashamed. You got married to young. Maybe is time to move on and pursue your dreams. Or if you feel is something still, then try to reconnect.
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I was with my husband for 28 years and just want attracted to him for the last 10 years. You were together from a young age and had no experience. As we all agree our tastes change. We wonder about other people, other ways to do things. Itâs normal.
To be curious about other races, thatâs normal as well. And for those of you focusing on the comment âweâre both white,â sheâs saying sheâs curious⌠Donât bash her. Thatâs normal. Sheâs asking for advice, not criticism.
Either have a heart to heart with your husband or try counseling.
How does anyone think; hey before I talk to my husband of over 10 years. Iâll ask Facebook!? Lol you know this will get back to her Hubby if hasnât already. Not only that but seriously she been with someone more than 10 years and just now figured out, she doesnât like white? Makes no sense. She didnât just destroy her life. She destroyed her life, kids life and her husbandâs life. Why does people think that is ok? I mean letâs act like I like white for 15 years and then bam letâs tell everyone I Donât! Ha ha yeah she grew alright. But first she had to take it to social media, and tell everyone not to bash her first. After being on social media for a week; should tell her if opinions are what you want. Thatâs what she will get! And on Facebook it is not always the opinion you want. Anyone knows that. Sounds like she became bored or has already messed up, and trying to justify it with everyone elseâs opinion. Not working the way she wanted it I guess. Why marry anyone, make a commitment and then decide. Hey I donât like the color of your skin anymore. Or hey, I donât like you anymore. Marriage is a commitment, a business proposal. That no matter what, you stay with that person till death. Not till you donât like white. I would get it if he was beating you. Or your kids. Heck I would get it, for just about anything other than he is white.
So you want the big 
. Just tell the truth. Lol. BTW, there are big white guys out there too. You donât have to switch races. 
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If youâre unhappy donât do anything that could destroy or break someoneâs trust in you ⌠communicate that to him
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Talk to your husband first. Not the internet. Pshh jeez
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Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence becuase you forgot to fertilize your own damn lawn. Relationships are work they have ups and downs but sounds like you already have given up and if thatâs the case do your husband a favor and leave rather than cheat emotionally, mentally or physically
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Well, you can either keep living unhappy, or change it. Iâd suggest sitting him down and being honest. Mabe he feels the same. Being honest is really all you can do. You can either try to fix it, or walk away. Ultimately itâs up to you, but Iâd say start by being upfront and talking with him.
You can grow apart from someone, especially after being with them for 16 yrs. But being white and not into that says youâve either cheated or are trying to find a reason to. If you arenât happy, talk to your husband and explain your feelings, and see where they stand. If the feelings are mutual that there is no love/desire, seriously think hard about a seperation/divorce, especially where the kids are concerned. Donât be selfish and ruin your marriage or devastate your kids, because you are unhappy at the moment. You canât take back actions once they are done.
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Not bashing you but I would think this is something you need to discuss with your husband. It sounds like youâve already made the decision to move on.
I think you should talk to your partner & be honest about how you feel. Communication is very important. Maybe having an open relationship for awhile or fulfilling each otherâs fantasies, wants & needs should also be discussed. Best of luck.
Sounds like she has someone in mindâŚ
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You can make it a choice that yu will stay by your husband 's side forever provided there is peace coz even if u shift to black guys , one day you will have the feeling you hav now âŚcoz in a relationship sometimes love just fades away
Please talk to your husband. What you are feeling is normal and valid but if you want it to get better, communicating with your husband is a great way to start & be honest with him how you are feeling. Donât comfort him with lies. Relationships and especially marriages takes work and dedication. Nothing worth having comes easily. It canât be one sided neither. Communicating and comprehending what each other are saying and seeing each otherâs side is important too. I hope things work out for the best for you and your family. Big hugs Mama
some people give up something good, for something better, only to end up with something worse!
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Sometimes I think couples stay together because their comfortable and the love ends⌠sooner or later one of yal will have a affair, if it hasnât happen yet!
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If your husband is not abusive to you in any way try to work it out maybe go on a vacation just the two of you 
Try to do things thst might spice up ur relationship or take a small vacation just yall go on dates and see if it sparks up anything again
Wow you sound e exactly like me!!!
Whatâs being white have to do with this?
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Sometimes people just change. Especially when they been together since damn near birth like both of you.
You find new ways to make things exciting again you canât just give up with out trying you gotta see if the sparks still there if not be honest with him life is to short for all that
Sometimes once you see what else is out there, that boring, stable guy you left behind doesnât seem so bad. It is possible to grow back together again and it doesnât have to be all about romance and passion.
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Sooooo sheâs saying she likes a big black cock? 
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Sounds like you donât have any real issues you just need to rekindle
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Fan Question⌠Similar situation as you. We were a couple since we were teenagers. Grew together and had children. After 30 yrs he decided I had been a good wife but he didnât want to be married anymore. Total shock for me, I didnât see it coming. Biggest mistake I made was becoming so dependant on him. He worked paid the bills and I looked after the home and family. He was a very good man and husband. We rarely argued⌠When he left I had a breakdown because I didnât know how to take care of myself, pay bills fill the car with fuel, all that stuff, Basically had to m learn to start over. I didnât know this world without him. Itâs was a terrible time for me and the worst thing I have ever been through. I loved him and thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. That was 10 yrs ago. Probably took me about 5 yrs to adjust. All too common Iâm afraid.
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You have a choice really. You either carry on as you are, until one of you has an affair and leaves. Or you sit down, and have an honest talk about your relationship and what you want to happen.
Far better, in my opinion, to split up while you still respect each other and can do so amicably, than wait for the inevitable affair, when it al goes to shit.
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Just know, the dating pool these day def been pissed in 
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Almost sounds like the (seven year itch). You can ride out times like this and come back finding yourself back into him sometimes. If you truly believe in the bows you made you can stick it out based in that alone. Itâs hard to make it all the way to the grave and be married to the same man. Some donât believe it is even possible but at my age I have seen a few and the ones that make it seem to have gotten married at a very young age. I donât know why except their spouses is all they have ever known intimately. Donât really know.
Not looked he put it on the fire place for got about it lol xx
Well maybe quit fantasizing about men you donât have and put time in with the man who has loved you for 15 years and worked on a relationship with you because it sounds like you just want to sleep around and then begg him back when you find out other people arenât gonna be there for you when it counts like he has been but at that point its to late he will always see you as tainted so donât make a hasty decision on this and definitely think about how this would effect him and your kids because it will and more than likely in a negative way
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Just leave. Clearly youâre not attracted to him anymore and would like to date a man of another race. Happens all the time. Happened to me. Our preferences change as we get older, itâs definitely easy to feel not as connected when you havenât got to âplay the fieldâ because you were still a kid when you became committed. Donât punish either of you, move on.
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Communication and effort. Relationships grow and people grow. Relationships take alot of work
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Communication is the key!!! Talk about how you are feeling before doing anything! Believe me itâs difficult starting over! Itâs been 6 years for me and I still have my bad depressing days!
Marriage is hard work and yes you do grow apart. When this happens try talking about what you want. Try setting aside a date night or a weekend getaway just the 2 of you. I have been there and I can honestly say I am happily married for 21 years will be 22 in August. Sometimes you just have to fall in love all over again itâs more than worth the try.
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I feel this. Though we got together at a much older age (30) and both had 2 kids from previous relationships, we do have a 4 year old son together. It seems that in the past 2 years, our flame has burned up. I see so many Facebook memories where we fed the flame, but now, it seems to be just embers. He says itâs because of our child. But I think otherwise, since we both had kids when we got together and we had a bon fire going. I love him and only him, but he doesnât seem to see our fire running out if fuel like I do.
Better work on it. Spice things up. Go to a different country. See a new place together. Once you are alone you will wish you had appreciated what you had.
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We had over thirty years married. I realised Iâd become the housekeeper not a wife and slowly my resentment grew. I met someone else, nothing happened, but I realised if I wanted to find happiness Iâd have to get out there and look for it. So I did! Now nine years after leaving Iâm remarried and blissfully happy. Sometimes if you want an omelette youâve got to break a few eggs!
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We get so caught up looking after the house kids etc that we forget to put time into each other plan a few dates doesnât have to be the same old food and home try adventure parks things that will make you both feel alive again xx
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It depends on the grewing apart part. If itâs only bc he isnât attractive anymore in your eyes than itâs a bit childish. You can have a great looking guy with a bad mentality etc⌠If there are other things you think you grew apart from each other you should communicate about it with your partner.
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I got with my ex partner at 13! Had our 1st child at 15! 2nd child at 19, and we stayed together for 19 years. We grew apart & decided it was time to separate. We have remained friends, heâs still very much part of my life, sometimes you have to let go.xx
Talking to each other and treat each other with respect
Marriage requires work and falling in love over and overâŚwith the same person. It isnât easy but itâs worth it xx
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Maybe try working on your relationship to see if it is just the âyou dont find him attractive anymore.â Sometimes you do grow apart, it happens, but yall have kids and jobs, its easy to push aside your own relationship because you just forget about it lol. Try working on your relationship first, try new things in the bedroom etc etc, and if all that fails, then its time to move on. Im not gonna call you childish, we all change as we get older, who knows maybe ill hate reading in 10 years (doubt it) but it happens. We develop different interests, all that good stuff, but before you go through with a divorce, try to fix the relationship. Go on date nights, make time for each other, its important stuff that some couples overlook because life gets busy.
Communication is the key. Sit him down, listen and talk⌠you never know he may be feeling exactly the same way as you do 
end of the day why prevent eachother from finding happiness⌠not necessarily WITH someone else either 
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No matter how much growing up changes one uâll always have something in common with ur better half, and that doesnât have to change yaâll spoiling each other and spending time together
When you get married, your mental state is totally unrealistic. If the vows included I promise to tolerate you, your bad habits and behaviours, no matter how irritable you make me feel (and we all do have those)âŚyou would think, that would never happen. I think that newly married phase does wear off and you change from couples into family. People react to lifeâs up and downs in different ways⌠not always in complimentary ways. No matter who you end up with⌠you will go through those processes. You share a history, good and bad. Not sure people go into marriage with those expectations or really think about how they would deal with the possibilities that itâs not always going to be like those early days.
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Does your husband feel he isnât attracted to you? Or are you just assuming because youâve been clashing? You sound like you want to go and do your own thing and are already fantasizing about other men. If thatâs what you wanna do Iâd recommend sitting your husband down and discussing it like an adult!
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This is why friendship first as a priority is so importantâŚ
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Personally for me with everything is open communication!
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Sometimes people grow apart for good. Not everything has to last forever.
Good luck to you, I hope you find a way to happinessđ¤
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Be honest with him. Is it all just sexual? Or has other things changed as well? Separate, divorce and move on. I was in your shoes once. But if itâs just sexual, go to counseling either way. It doesnât have to marriage counseling. Individual counseling will help you find the what, why of these feelings and ultimately what you want.
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Itâs normal, it happens but donât give up yet. Try to take a break from each other, not go see other people kind of break but just away from each other, and keep doing that every weekend or every other weekend, try to talk about how you feel before and after the break, he might feel the same and go from there. Always take a deep breath before saying anything you might regret and that goes to him too.
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It sounds like youâre entering Peri menopause when most women start to get the itch that needs to be scratched and if theyâre not getting it at home it can make you feel like youâre not attracted to your partner anymore. Iâve seen it happen a million times. But I will tell you one thing you had a good relationship once and there arenât many of them out there these days. It sure would be worth working on it. The love of my life of 30 years is in heaven and I would do anything, anything to have him back. I really hope you can work things out because life is so damn short. Good luck sweetheart.
Sooo⌠u clash or u just donât want a white guy? Iâm stuck on that ânot into it anymoreâ thing as if itâs a sport.
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Your both white but now your not into that? Not into what? Euphemisms. Maybe that is your problem.
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I once read an article about a couple who was married for 65 yrs. The man said his wife must have changed atleast 7 or 8 times and he loved every version of her. True love is unconditional. People evolve and you learn to know eachother all over again
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If possible, go out of town just you and your husband. It always helped me and my husband. We been married for 54 years. There comes a time when you just need a break from each other. Itâs hard to get through sometimes but you will fine you love him anyway.
The grass is always greenerâŚbut is just as hard to mow. Iâve seen people nuke their relationships chasing some whimsical fantasyâŚthen they end up alone and regretting destroying what they had⌠relationships take workâŚcommitment means commitmentâŚwork on itâŚfind a way through if you can. Grow up.
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She got Jungle Fever
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Take the time to get to know each other again. The grass isnât always greener on the other side. AND PLEASE!! the kids come first.
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It happens,couples do grow apart.talk to your husband get everything out, But personally I couldnât stay in a relationship when your not as one anymore,you both deserve happiness and so does the children.Prayers and Blessingsâ:pray:
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A large number of people stay together longer than necessary and this is normal. Trial a separation and see how that goes.
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What exactly does it mean,âŚwe are both white and as I got older I wasnât into that ?.. What are you trying to say that your no longer into white guys ?..sorry just confused as what your trying to get across here,
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Coming from a divorced household at the age of 6 it was not great at all. My mother remarried a alcoholic abuser and my dad never did. I still wonder if they were together if things wouldâve been better. Not saying your feelings are invalid I think people get tired of the same things sometimes but think about what your relationship and family mean also. My mom left my dad because she didnât love him anymore and we all suffered for it but I think if she stayed her life might not have been as hard. Its not just you when you have a family its the kids who go through it 10x harder. If this man treats you right, is a good father and is a good person work on it. Not alot of people get that lucky to have someone like that
I agree with other commenters. Take time to get to know each other again. Has he been the only man youâve ever been with? Maybe try marriage counseling to find out why you have grown apart? It takes work. Take some time apart and find yourselves and spend time together to get to know each other again.
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