Sounds like he’s bringing it on himself. If he doesn’t want them to be rough then he should stop being rough
Beyond five years together could be considered a common law marriage…
I play rough like that with my boys and they always come for more. Usually they start it with me lol. What you describe is perfectly normal. Some kids like to play rough and play fight like that
You would know if it was abuse….and that’s not it.
Horseplay, that’s what that is. I am not a fan of roughhousing and never let my children play that way. Abusing an adult for fun is not healthy.
Do you even know what abuse is?
Its a dad thing…jesus christ let a man have fun with his damn kids 
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Idk… if it felt off trust your gut… Definitely call him out on it…
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Maybe she caught him in the nuts when she jumped on him again.
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Just asking if this is “abuse” is a mochary to those who have been and are abused.
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I think the kids need a spanking and respect their parents
Doesn’t sound like abuse to me.
Um, this is the most average post I’ve ever read, respectfully of course. It’s all good mama. You’re reading in too much. This is all normal.
Best no horse playing around . Respect !!
He’s being a dad. Men are different than women. Abuse is when it’s hurting the child in more ways than one. Be grateful you have a baby daddy who is involved in his kids lives
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If this is abuse then my dad beat the hell out of me 
I was the youngest and mean as hell, I’d always go back to play fight with him. He’d get the serious look and we’d know to stop. But he’s being a dad and they’ll thank him for showing them never to quit and to take care of themselves.
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No. He told her to quit. And she wasnt listening and being rough
Only thing she was going to hear was more playing And rough housing.
I mean kids are handsie sometimes and hands was what she was going to hear.
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Kids need to understand time to stop… time to talk
I created a code.
Red = stop immediately
Yellow = pause/ slow down
Green = go/ play
Definitely sounds like abuse…like the kids are abusing him:roll_eyes:. 
… discipline them.
It sounds like to me that your child needs to learn STOP means STOP and NO means NO. My son is 5 as well and him and his father rough house all the time and when his dad says stop and my son doesn’t he sits him down sometimes exactly like your SO did. I’ve had to do it in order to get the point across that they have crossed a physical boundary. They weren’t hurt nor did they cry or anything. They got the message that that was a line crossed and stopped. Look at a mother dog and her pups, when she’s had enough she will snip and/or put them on their butt. All mothers in nature do this along with the fathers. I don’t think it’s abuse at all and your SO definitely doesn’t have anger problems.
(I am a mandated reporter)
nah, this isn’t abuse.
Talk it over with him. Tell him you feel it’s too much for the kids with the shove thing
But playing with pops like that is normal
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he’s … playing with your children, who sound like they have no boundaries.
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So you don’t back him up when he sets boundaries and tell the children they need to stop and mellow out but just watch as he struggles to deal with them?
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With some of these comments, we know why, this country looks and going in the direction it is. Cause kids now are the parents and the parents bow and obey. Smmfh .
maybe teach your kids to listen when told to stop.
Family meeting about boundaries and expectations.
I’m just sayin…some of y’all never got that surprise ass whooping…and it shows. 
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If he didn’t physically hurt her in any way and she ended up on the couch then no it’s not abuse. Kids over step sometimes and don’t listen I’ve done it to my son to get him to stop doing something or if he’s hurting me doesn’t mean I’m abusing my kid
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I wouldn’t call that abuse. He used just enough physical force to let her know that he was being serious. She wasn’t hurt in any way. In the 22 years yall have been together and he’s never once shown aggression in an abusive manner, why would that make you question him now? If it bothered you that much then you need to talk to him and express yourself. Don’t go looking to random strangers on the internet to see if he’s being abusive. Fathers rough house with their children, that doesn’t mean anything and it’s quite normal. It seems as though his reaction was not normal, so it shouldn’t even be of a concern that it could become abusive. He made his point loud and clear without becoming violent.
There is absolutely no abuse. Sham on you for trying to make a good dad sound bad. You clearly need to seek help
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I don’t think he actually meant to hurt or “abuse” her. But you all definitely lack good communication skills. Maybe see if he’d be willing to work on that?
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Pushed her to a sitting position on the couch…it sounds like you are trying to find abuse in all this. Like this is clearly how most dads are with their kids rough-and-tough atleast in my family all the men play rough with the kids
He aint hurt her. Sounds Moore like the kids are abusing him. Mentally he sounds like he’s over it. He put force into calming a kid down after hurting herself and trying too hurt him… sounds like kiddos need taught how to handle NO and stop better…
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From a person who suffered a whole lot of abuse, this is insulting.
How old are you that you can’t decide if something was abusive? I’m not trying to be harsh, but this is ridiculous.
I can see being concerned that he let his irritation be shown in such a manner, but honestly it sounds more like you need to get it together and teach your children that no means NO.
Especially when it comes to physical contact with another person.
They’re kids, they need redirection and guidance.
Your daughter wasn’t listening, and had multiple warnings. To push a child from standing to sitting on a couch COULD be abuse, if excessive force was used, but it wasn’t.
And you cannot keep brushing off their hitting and kicking or knees and elbows.
A tiny bit is to be expected but it sounds like this is basically the norm in your home.
It’s time to be a parent, and the same goes for your husband.
It’s okay to play with the kids. It’s okay to wrestle around a bit. But those kids need to be taught about boundaries and when enough is enough.
this doesnt sound lile abuse! When you see him get irritated after telling them no step up behind him and support that answer and redirect. Itll help them learn boundries as well
I think this is a red flag for help! There’s no way you would post defending him but asking if it’s abuse. I think a lot of this story is missing!
This is someone abused who can’t flee looking for assurance it’s not that bad
Mama RUN!
22 years together and this is making you worry about abuse? I had a dad that screamed in my face and brought fists to me threatening to do it. I would have rather had the dad that played with me and occasionally slipped up. A push onto a couch is nothing near abuse.
I push my kids onto their beds and the couch at least once a week lol, sometimes playing sometimes frustrated. We are all human, and if everyone got their kids taken for pushing them onto a couch or something similar I don’t think very many of us would have kids left. It’s also a “sit down and stop” sign.
Overwhelming situations happen, Especially being nothing has happened after 22 years… I also have twins that act like it’s WWE and they’re girls. They love to roughhouse.
If your child seems bothered by it maybe have her talk to dad one on one or all together? Let her express her feelings if she wants to. Otherwise this seems totally fine. Compared to this, then my dad abused the hell out of me lol.
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This is not abuse. This is very clearly rough housing with the kids, exactly as you said. After 22 years with someone and you feel like you can’t speak up and say it seems rough, why the hell are you with him.
Also sounds like they don’t know boundaries and don’t know discipline. When they are told no and to stop they need to listen the first time and not take it as a joke and keep crossing a boundary. Teach them discipline.
That’s a strong question to ask a public forum considering the world we love in today … sounds like miscommunication in your whole family and boundaries and discipline need to be set
Abuse is absolutely real and a father rough housing with his children does not qualify with that accusation
I wouldn’t call it abuse maybe being rough with them just tell them that you didn’t feel right when he did that and that you don’t like it just communicate with him and try not to be accusative either cuz he more than likely didn’t try and push her down like that
If you have to ask?
It’s abuse let’s be honest!
I loved this as a kid and so do my kids 
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Sounds like your kids are disrespectful
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Sounds like a dad playing with his kids. Girl chill out.
Hahahahahahahaha. Stop it. As someone who was abused as a child, this is far from it. Ridiculous.
You’re killin me smalls
Raise your effing brats right. Your man ain’t the asshole. It’s the kids.
Sounds like a typical dad ……
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Been there and done that. Pretty normal. No big deal at all
This sounds like normal.
They’re just playing. Relax.
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Sounds like he needs to set boundaries when rough housing. Kids learn by example and if a parent isn’t firm when saying “it’s time to calm down” they will think it’s still playtime and oftentimes take it too far even though dad (or mom) said that’s enough.
Also, if you didn’t grow up this way, dad or not, than you might want to have a chat with your SO and explain to them your concerns about what you see when they all play. It also doesn’t hurt to step in and redirect if you feel things are getting too out of hand, for example “hey, I think that’s enough for now, let’s take a bath or grab a snack”
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Definitely not abuse.
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That is just kids playing with there dad! Brace yourself it only gets rougher! Lol
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Not abuse… If you be with him 22 years and you have a 5 year old and a 3 year old… Are they his? I’m curious because you worded everything kinda strange which I get because it happens when your really concerned. But it sounds like a boyfriend or like someone saying I’m seeing someone. Like your not to emotional attached like in love. I don’t mean any offense at all.
I finally have a man who is the dad to 2 of my 3 babies. My first Borns dad didn’t want to be a dad. He knocked me up and ran for the hill. Now, that my first born is older he has finally start to pay attention to him. My boyfriend has gone above and beyond. Loves my children and me. So like I said I don’t mean anything bad. I just think your word choices sound strange.
I agree with everyone else who said to set boundaries. Everyone should have personal boundaries that everyone should respect. Also, next time your feeling insecure try talking to your SO first and maybe y’all can figure things out together. You been with him 22 years you should have some trust and understanding to who he is as a person.
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Abuse? Are you for real with this? You may not like the way they are all a little wild but come on. It sounds more like your kids are abusing him than the other way around.
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Oh and the people making you feel bad for being concerned should be ashamed of themselves. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make sure your kids aren’t being effected detrimentally and anyone in these comments that don’t understand how wrong it is for a grown ass man to push a child down when they’re irritated with them - arent people you should listen to advice from anyways they’re opinions don’t hold much value if they think there’s nothing wrong with that.
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Been with you for 22 years and to be insulted like that. Going as far as considering that he is “abusing” your children. Has he not earned any trust? Do you have respect for him at all? Post is so confusing and honestly just disrespectful. I’m sure he would be really hurt by such a serious accusation like that when from what you said he has shown no signs of aggression or has traits of being abusive. Child abuse is such a serious thing, if you’re going to put that kind of accusation on someone you better freaking mean it and it better be true that’s not something to talk about lightly or accuse someone of if it’s not true.
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Definitely just play and good discipline by taking the cards uts good parenting definitely not abuse. And 22 yrs why the hell aren’t y’all married?
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Coming from a person who had a dad that does exactly what your so does he didn’t abuse her honey my dad would get irritated with us for like 30 seconds then back playing with us he roughed house with us all the time…by my rough housing with me he taught me how to be strong and stand up for my self…now that I’m 27 my dad is my best friend and our bond is just as strong as it was when I was little… if you feel like they all are being a little rough ask them to tone it down…but please don’t think he abused her
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Listen, I understand how someone who grew up without a Dad (OP’s words) or without general rough housing as a kid could think to question this. BUT…this is not abuse. At least not in my eyes. Even if you feel he might be being a little too rough with the kids, at that age they don’t know any better to question anything if it’s in good fun and they’re not scared. I get they go back for more, but even if you get a lil banged up, if you’re not scared, it’s funny and who doesn’t think they can’t win? As a kid I’d always go back for more if I feltI was the ‘stronger’ one even against my Dad or adult in question. Not in a disrespectful way, but hey we were playing, right??? As a parent, I remember those times so I leave it up to my kids. Me and their dad love to play, be silly, and sometimes rough house. Especially of they’re the ones asking for it or coming back for more. We know our own limits, and we know our kids. We know what we can and can’t do, and even then, we know that even if our kids say “more, more more…” they’re clearly not into it and we just end it there. But I think it comes down to knowing your kids and knowing your partner.
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It’s not abuse but your husband needs to stop when they say stop so when he says stop they actually do. They learn from example so if he doesn’t respect their " stops" they dont learn to respect his.
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Sounds normal to me. Just a lot of rough housing that gets out of hand and then kids get over it and go right back at it. Happens with mine all the time. Be rough housing with their daddy and they accidentally get elbowed in the fray or they fall to far, they’ll run and cry for a moment and then next thing I know they’re all at it again rough housing. After the second time of a rough housing injury I usually put my foot down and tell my husband and kids that’s enough and to cut it out before someone gets seriously hurt or mad at another. Lasts a few hours then they’re back at it again lol
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I was shocked at the amounts of comments that yes this is abuse and so is spanking a child. What? By no means do I do it often but yes if my children are acting bad and wont listen and it seems necessary, they will get a spanking. Idc you wont change my mind, it’s not abuse. Beating, yes. Spanking no. Huge difference. Thatd why kids are the way they are these days. No respect. No discipline. Anyways, dont worry momma it’s a dad thing. You just be the referee lol.
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Wow, just wow. You really need therapy, and to sit down with him and express that you never had it so you are weary of the rough play. But unless he is hitting them to the point of bruising, screaming at them, and cursing at them then no it is not abuse. My daughters father threw one of those baby gates meant to stretch across a house at us when my daughter was 9 months… that’s abuse. What your man is doing is not.
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They would get on my nerves by not stopping when he asks them to BEFORE it becomes an issue. Maybe he is unwell and doesn’t work them to know the rough play hurts him after a point. If you’re concerned enough to reach out…trust your gut feeling. Something must be going on to cause your concern after 22 years dormant behavior.
This group is really awful. So many women beat eachother down. Maybe this lady didn’t word her question correctly but she has concerns. We are supposed to support eachother but all I see here is judgements and hateful comments. Most of you suck. Good luck to this lady bc she won’t find any support here.
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It’s discipline not abuse. From your post it seems he loves those kids. As moms we’re a lot more tender that’s why God made dads for balance. It doesn’t seem you have anything to worry about.
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Most of the people downplaying this are the ones who come from a generation of being swatted with switches and all kinds of different levels of abuse so they have a hard time understanding that it doesn’t take severe physical abuse to be traumatic for a child.
If they’re all rough housing and the kids are engaging and having fun playing then that’s fine, but you said he was irritated about the cards and pushed her down and that’s not okay he wasn’t playing in that moment it sounds like. I’m not saying he’s a bad person or a bad parent or that he meant to cause harm, but maybe he needs to learn boundaries and to never engage physically when he’s irritated or upset after that because if he keeps doing stuff like that when he’s feeling impatient or irritated then that can be traumatic long term.
Again I’m not saying he’s a bad parent or anything like that but just that long term pushing them around when he’s feeling irritated and impatient can potentially be traumatic after a while and would be considered a level of abuse. As parents we all have things we can improve on and do better for our kids and it sounds like maybe patience is one thing he should work on.
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I would talk about consent with the whole household and what “no” means. I wouldn’t say it’s abuse but it should definitely bring up a conversation about consent.
Teach the to be good. If they aren’t. Show them what the consequences of not being good.
What you describe is absolutely NOT abuse. That is so far from it. Your children need to learn now when and where roughhousing is okay. Your husband sounds like a normal dad to me.
Sounds like an insult to all the good dads out there but I also do not think this is the response you were looking for. If you need attention just say that.
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I think it would help if you also controlled the kids a bit sounds like their out off hand & need a bit of discipline but if he’s that bad get some help
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so now playing and rough housing is abuse. Come on now.
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He’s just playing with his kids. Calm down and be thankful they have a daddy that does take the time to interact with his children.
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If you have to question an action between a child and a parent or an adult then it could be abuse
My dad died when I was 7. You just described my absolute favourite memories with my dad.
I’m really saddened by this post.
Lady, dont ruin memories like this by tainting it as abuse.
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I think nothing wrong with your question, but men do play differently with kids and elbows and knees are not on purpose just by accident, rough housing is okay to a point, if they end up with black eyes then it went to far and I can see him pushing her away but making her land on her behind is to hard, men do have genitals that are easily hit so I can see him kind of being protective and not wanting her to hit him or have a hand or leg hit him there
Stop Nip it in the Bud. Before a Tragety happens. Cuz after is too DAMN late. 2
Hmmmmm lol… I’m simply gunna say this was a waste of a post lol … not abuse at all geez
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I hope this is a joke of some sort. He sounds like a great daddy.
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I really hope he doesn’t see this post, poor bugger.
If you do truly believe this is assault, you honestly need to go to therapy.
After 22 years, this is pretty damn disrespectful.
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I think your looking for an excuse for something. Something isn’t quite right about this story. The way you’ve put everything it sounds like the kids are the ones doing the abusing. Need to teach the kids that jumping on an adult all the time every chance they get is a no. And to quit being so rough. The rough housing needs to stop.
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Sounds like he loves playing with them. They just need to know when to simmer down.
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Not even close to abuse.
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I don’t think it’s abuse. I do think your family should sit down and talk about body boundaries, consent, and respect. We got our kids a book that teaches this in simple terms they can understand, and if it’s taught everyone needs to be on the same page. There’s nothing sexual in the book, just teaches kids how to say no (ie if someone is tickling them and they say stop, that person needs to stop, or asking for hugs so child can make that choice). I think things would be less chaotic if everyone could communicate clearly with each other. 
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Giiiiiiirl if u don’t sitcho “abuse” a s s down somewhere gtfoh
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Its called playing. Please calm the hell down.
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You my dear are overreacting I do that ahit with my boys they love it and ask for it. Part of parenting is also playing with them he sounds like a good dad
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Sure you’re set out to be a parent yourself i feel bad for your so
Ummm….I think it’s ok hun lol. Doesn’t seem like abuse to me.
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Look at the power and control wheel
Jo Bennett i must be awful
My husband plays rough like this with my two boys as well. Sometimes things get a little out of hand and you end up with a kid in tears…however same kid will jush right back into the fray in a few seconds or even initiate a new round of roughhousing if we stopped everything due to things getting out of hand. My kids frankly ask for it by continuing to jump on, punch, poke and otherwise annoy dad until he finally does start play fighting back and that’s exactly what they want. Them getting hurt sometimes is just a lesson on what happens when you play rough. Sometimes dad will end up hurt with an unfortunately aimed punch or kick and they learn boundaries of what is ok to do when play fighting and what isn’t. Kids are relentless and any form of fun must go on and on so when dad is done but the kids won’t stop then a bit if sternness is necessary. Sometimes he does the holding them trapped thing too and my kids will do anything to get out of it including fake crocodile tears that miraculously disappear the second he let’s go…and then they continue to do the things he trapped them down for in the first place. No worries…it’s all fun and games and accidents or getting too rough at times is bound to happen.
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