Dump him or your life will be hell. He is insecure, not trusting, and he will not change. You need him like a root canal.
1 Like
You need to leave. He accuses because he is guilty. Do not let him fool you or black mail you. Any man who would neglect their child because of not being with the mother is a piece of shit. Please leave for yourself and your daughterā¦ Wouldnāt you want your daughter to leave and fight for her happiness? 
2 Likes
Lo quieres? Pero no te hace feliz. Tiene una inseguridad que no se la quitarĆ” nadie( no es tu culpa) mi consejo es que de una vez y por todas lo dejes. Ve a la corte de familia y demĆ”ndalo para que mantenga al niƱo. El no va a cambiar. Ya te abusa verbalmente , pronto vendrĆ”n los golpes. Eres joven consigue un trabajo y echa adelante. Tu puedes. No te dejes llevar por el amor que dices tenerle porque te puede llevar a la tumba. CuĆdate y mucha 
.
Move the hell on. Itās toxic. Why drink poison? And you are teaching your daughter this toxic behavior is ok. Wake the hell up
2 Likes
Run fast for your mental health and your childās he behavior is not normal and will only continue to keep getting worse.
1 Like
Sounds like guilt to me to be honest. I have been in a relationship like this, I didnāt have children, but it turned out he was cheating. Noone should ever have to go through verbal and mental abuse. I think itās would be healthiest for you to move on, especially if he wonāt put forward the effort to work on it through counseling. The kid sees, hears and feels everything yall are going through. Put the baby first and do whatās best.
If heās accusing you for no reasonā¦ heās guilty!!
Leave him. Heās accusing you of every little interaction because he is the one cheating. Cheaters always ALWAYS like to accuse their partners of doing wrong because theyāre the one doing wrong. Sorry hun you just need to leave, he will act like he wants to keep you and say heāll change if you say youāre leaving, but he will not change and eventually will put you down to the point that you just feel like your nothing.
Run
Get a job
Put him on child support.
Divorce him trust me your lucky you got away
Hes probably cheating and accuses you so you dont snoop
1 Like
Sometimes those who accuse are the guilty ones. Sometimes not. You already separated because of his behavior. If he wont get counseling and refuses to change then you already know the answer to your question. If you are looking for reassurance from this group then I think you have it. God bless.
Trauma Bond is not love ā¦ heās likely a narcissist and will never change. Going forward is taking care of you and your kid, not him.
Tell him to fuck right off you deserve better and remember your priority is your child
1 Like
Sorry to say but his behaviour is not OK, stay separated, all your showing your daughter is that itās OK for a man to treat her like your partner does you. It will be hard but I think youāll be better off in the long term
1 Like
Normally when people get so jealous (and they donāt have a mental health condition like BPD which can cause these feelings) they are usually doing things they shouldnāt themselves so it makes them paranoid that someone may do it to them. Iād tell him it has to stop or thatās it you are divorcing. Itās not healthy and itās controlling and illegal.
1 Like
Been there and took 19 years to escape. This is coercive controlling behaviour. Get out please
Was in verbally abusive relationship for 11 years never got physical because he knew I would fight back. But 20 years after divorce found out he has another son younger than ours so sometime in those 11 years he was accusing me he was the one doing wrong.
He is gaslighting, if he is accusing you of doing something it is wat he is doing. It is mental m verbal abuse, leave him now. He has no right to treat or speak to you like that.
Please get out of that. Please leave. Get a job and start a new life, you dont deserve to be miserable because he is.
My advice will be to divorce him and keep a distance.
If he wants to be part of your child life good,if not wellā¦
Please be careful, what you are describing is not ok.
Narcissistic gaslighting. Run
1 Like
Its verbal abuse te?l him to quit or your done
So heās abusing youā¦ time to move on. And he didnāt have to sign the divorce papers. Judge will sign it with or without his signature. If heās the one accusing you, more than likely heās the 1 cheatingā¦ you definitely donāt want him as an example for your daughter. You donāt want your daughter thinking that thatās the way a woman is to be treated, abused emotionally and mentally is not ok. Think of your kid. You donāt love him either. You probably just think heās all you can get because Iām pretty sure thatās what he tells you. Put in your big girl panties, pull up your pants and get on it if there. Womanās shelter, friends family members house. Just run and get a restraining on him tooā¦
2 Likes
Your husband is probably messing with one or moreā¦ You should get out before he gives ya a disease or some sh!t
2 Likes
They usually accuse you of what their doing
1 Like
Hmmm i can totally relate. n its sadā¦
Leave. Now. Heās a narcissist. Heās trying, and succeeding to isolate you. The longer you stay, the more chance that this will escalate. Also, if you stay, you are teaching your child that this is the way she should be treated. Run, and run far. Donāt look back.
4 Likes
LOVE and RESPECT YOUR SELF FIRST. He is doing all of that to you because you allow him to do it. You should learn to love and respect your self first before someone will do that to you. See your worth as a mother, a woman and a person. Show him that you can stand on your own without his help. Always remember that no one should ever treated nor make you feel less of a person. Take care and Godbless
1 Like
Get out while you can. He is a control freak & is possessive. That kind of man is dangerous & will never change. If he wonāt leave then I suggest you get a court order to get him out. File for divorce & do what you want to do. I.e get a job etc.
Stay away from him and keep your little one away from him. I would say divorce. He sounds like a typical cheater. Blaming you because he knows what he is doing. You and your child deserve so much better. I had a parent just like this and my mom stayed and it destroyed me and my mom she has since passed and he has nothing to do with me which is fine. Please do not go back to him he will not change.
Been there in controlling abusive relationship for 20 yrs finally escaped got my own place and built myself fairly well back up meet a lovely man who Iām now engaged too totally different to the ex donāt ever let anyone control or abuse you your worth more
Usually the accuser is the cheater
2 Likes
He is obviously the one doing wrong. I canāt stand a controlling man. If you want to live a miserable life then stay if you want to be happy and to be yourself then leave it will only get worse.
1 Like
Just leave him nowā¦ personal experience hereā¦ it only gets worseā¦ and what my ex was accusing me ofā¦ well that is what he was actually doingā¦
Megan Walther is very correct!!move onā¦
1 Like
This is something you have to do, you been operated for 3 months stay away and get a job.
Run now, I stayed in a marriage for 15 years and I finally got out and met a man that showed/shows me what true love looks like
1 Like
Oh hes cheating. He wouldnt be so dang mental like this Iād he wasnt. Get out, find proof.
2 Likes
Look up the definitions for narcissist and gaslighting. My ex was exactly the same way. Itāll be hard to get your heart on the same page as your head but you already know in your mind what you want & need to do. If youāre looking for validation, I validate youā¦
Leave now and donāt look back
1 Like
Heās trash, leave him.
1 Like
Heās cheating. This is how they act.
1 Like
Whether he is cheating or not is irrelevant. He is mentally abusive, gaslighting you and the whole not wanting to provide for the child is the cherry on top. Divorce this man. Stop listening to your heart and start listening to your brain. You and your child deserve better
3 Likes
Go to counseling yourselfā¦you need support whether you stay or leave.
2 Likes
Runā¦ the accuser is usually the one. Been there.
1 Like
The one always pointing fingers is the one with a dirty hand. Leave the situation. Wonāt get better. Been there
2 Likes
Even if things get a little better here and there with counseling, they always go back to who they are deep down. You and your kid(s) will have to tolerate this for the rest of your lives if you choose to stay.
Heās cheating and projecting it on you. Anything he accuses you of is to deflect it off him. Heās holding you hostage by not letting you work and you feel you have no options because you rely on him.
Leave now. If you canāt do it for yourself, do it for your child. You need counseling for yourself, but do that AFTER you leave.
Iām speaking from personal experience. Donāt even ask him to get counseling, no more chances. They tend to lie in counseling and make you look like the crazy one.
Best of luck. I got out a little lateā¦he started physically abusing me. I dealt with it ābecause I loved him and he was the father of my childrenā. Then he got to my daughter with the physical abuse.
Thatās when I FINALLY left.
Those who act paranoid of others are guilty of what theyāre picking at you forā¦
Just saying.
Leave his ass.
2 Likes
Hes cheating and checking up on you . Hes accusing you because heās a guilty conscience. Been there .donāt that . Made me feel insane and crazy for years n years ā¦ Fucking run. ā¦
5 Likes
In my opinion if heās constantly accusing you he might be cheating or has some sort of mental illness, or like my x husband both. You should definitely go file for that divorce. Even if he doesnāt show your still divorced. Donāt even worry about child support at the moment/ if there is any kids. If there not run and donāt tell him where you are.
Good luck Iām in a similar situation and it can only get better from here.
Heās cheating! Facts and also your child can have a step dad who treats her and loves her to death and can be a positive role model. Thereās literally nothing youāve said that is redeeming about him
4 Likes
Ok so take him to court for child support. Find another man that treats you like a human. Hey, youāre being accused of cheating anyway may as well have fun.
Seriously you know the answer or you wouldnāt have separated and asked this question on Facebook. If youāre looking for someone to agree with you the divorce court will handle that. The guy deserves to be alone. What an @$$
Went through this exact same thing!! Currently in the middle of a divorce and unfortunately still dealing with it. I actually have him blocked everywhere. However he emails constantly, just sent me a screenshot the other day of a male that he is sure Iām withā¦
it wonāt get better. Take the advice, leave.
1 Like
On youre boat except we are not married and have just had baby number 1 together. Run now.
1 Like
Run think of your girl ā¦this is not what love looks like ā¦donāt let her grow up thinking this is how man should treat a woman ā¦its not about your futur now but hersā¦: ) good luck
3 Likes
We will end up beating uā¦leave now before itās to late
You do you and your baby girl, leave him to his twisted ways and he will eventually see what he lost. You are a strong woman raising an even stronger little girl.
2 Likes
Run, and work on your spelling and grammar.
1 Like
Mentally and emotionally abusing you, hopefully you will see your worth soon x
2 Likes
Run! I was once married to just that! Get out.
3 Likes
LEAVE!! Donāt put up with this crap.
3 Likes
Coercive control. Do you love him or have you been brainwashed into believing you canāt do better??
4 Likes
Went through this same exact thing! Divorce was the best thing that happen for my son & I! Come to find out, he was the one cheated numerous times. Ended in protective orders, court, Guilty mind got the best of him!
BeƧuse heās cheating or wants toā¦
1 Like
This sounds like Stockholm syndrome
1 Like
Sounds like a classic case of living with a narcissist. My best friend is currently in this situation and her husband refuses to let her have contact with anyone including her own family, just his. He even sent me threatening messages and called me obscenities because I was trying to bypass him to get to her.
If heās refusing help and is neglecting his own family, no amount of love from you will change him since he truly believes youāre the issue, not him. You may need some time to process that, but what you absolutely need to bear in mind is that you ARE deserving of a loving and healthy relationship. You need to surround yourself with a support system during this transition if the route you decide to take is separating fully. He does not trust you, nor is he showing that heās capable of reciprocating your feelings for him. Even if you admit the falsehood that you might have done anything to hurt him, it wonāt get better, itāll only be something different eventually. I wish you and your little one the best of luck, you both deserve to be loved and cherished.
The accuser is usually the guilty one 
ā¦as hard as it is, go & get on with your lifeā¦ you or your child donāt need or deserve that kind of treatment.
4 Likes
It is him doing this himself and blaming you, get out it only gets worseš„²
3 Likes
If your daughter was in this type of relationship, what advice would you give her?
10 Likes
If they start accusing you of being unfaithful ā¦ Chances are he is cheating and itās his guilty conscience that makes him blame you so that he then makes his self justify why he is a peice of SHIT. This is going to be blunt but HE WILL NOT CHANGE ā¦ IT WILL NOT GET BETTER ā¦ IT WILL GET WORSE. I just hope to God he doesnāt put his hands on you, for something he is actually doing behind your back. May God give you the STRENGTH to leave him. You deserve a one woman man!!
6 Likes
Sounds a little one-sided to give a sound advice
If u 2 had a wonderful marriage after the honey moon stage of getting together trust that if u stick by his side things will work me & my husband r going thru the same shit except itās me Iām the bitch lolā¦ Long story short he put me thru hell & now I have anger issues but no matter what he has always stuck by my side. Maybe u did something that really hurt him & hates u for it but he loves u & canāt let u go just give him time & patience & cut off unnecessary people & have less time w uāre loved ones u donāt have to explain nothing to no one just let everyone know that u working on uāre marriage or u need time to uāre self pay attention to him & focus on uāre family cause if everything was ok once things will b ok again especially if he really loves u & Iām not saying that may be u did something to him to change it could have been a friend of family member but when people go thru shit just know that people change for the worstā¦ GOOD LUCK
Leave NOW!!! After 9 years itās obvious he is not going to change his selfish narcissistic behavior. Get your self respect and get out quick, youāve wasted too much time with this immature, insecure guy.
Choose your child, have all documents for her and you and bank accounts that you need, go to the domestic violence advocate in your area, ask for help. Take your baby out of that situation. Once you are out you will see that situation with him is abuse, to you and your child. No matter how much you love him, he will not change. You can get help through programs where you live. Do it before it gets any worse, because it will get worse if it hasnāt already. You deserve better. Even if you donāt feel like you do, your child does. They didnāt choose him you did. Put them first. Find your strength in that! Good luck. Donāt let him intimidate you. He will threaten you, and use your child to control. Trust me. Be careful.
1 Like
Oh dear my friend! Control IS a form of abuse! It may be that he is cheating (I am sorry for even saying this) and he may be accusatory of you to try to hide what he is doing. Please, please, please be safe because controlling abuse may escalate to physical abuse!!! Please have a back up plan to ensure both you and your daughters safety! Sending love, strength and prayers to you honey! 
You are not the problem! He is ā¦ I lived like that and wasted 20 years of my life going back and forth with a man like that. I exhausted and depleted myself worth. This is mental and emotional abuse. It is hard to come back fromā¦ You know YOUā¦ if you know what you want for your childā¦ Do the same for You and your childā¦
YES ::Be Quick about it :::GET OUT ::: U and your baby deserve more ::: Living or existing this way is totally wrong and un necessary ::: Get Help for U and your baby ASAP > Good Luck
He has deep severe mental issues get you and your daughter out of that picture ASAP
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. What should I do about my controlling husband?
Dude has issues. Itās only gonna get worse and more severe. Get out while you can
3 Likes
Leave him while you still can.
He doesnāt have to consent to the divorce
3 Likes
You are living my life I know exactly how you feel
5 Likes
He is probably a cheatingā¦
2 Likes
Leave. Absolutely leave.
First off, NEVER let your child be neglected due to a man! Thatās where I draw the line. That wouldnāt be happening with me.
11 Likes
Usually the one that accuses constantly are the ones doing it.
3 Likes
Do whats best for you and your child. Trust issues usually stem from insecurities. You may not be the unfaithful one here. Either way, he has no right to take it out on your child. Thatās abuse. Period. To both of you. Do your best to get out safely.
Get out and stay out x ur child and u will be better off .
Guilty dog barks 1st.
Ask yourself if you really want to spend the next 10 years of your life dealing with this. Next, ask yourself if you want your daughter thinking this is how relationships are supposed to be. None of us can make this decision for you, but I will say that a healthy relationship/marriage takes more than love alone. Also, it doesnāt have to be physical to be abuse.
7 Likes
I was in the same boat girl telling you they will deny deny deny an nothing will change get out while you can yes my divorce was hell cause he wanted to refuse but I still made it out an me an my kids are way better off
2 Likes
Hes not gonna change. Hes a narcissist. Sounds a lot like the guy I was with. Didnt workā¦ Made my life a living hell. Legit broke me and my happiness. I tried EVERYTHING and ended up losing myself instead of fixing him. Hes a grown ass man throwing tantrums and acting like a child. Educate yourself on narcissism. Alsoā¦ My narc was constantly accusing me of sleeping with legit everyoneā¦i got into his phone one day bc i had had enough. HE was the one doing the cheatingā¦and i was sticking around trying to fix shit that he brokeā¦or things that werent even broken. Educate yourself on TRAUMA BONDING. And rememberā¦hes the one not workingā¦in actuality he needs you. Stand your ground. And goodluck.
I left my husband for 3 monthā¦he now knows if he starts with his insecurities I mean businessā¦
1 Like
You need to put you daughter first and do right for her. Him not providing is not ok and you staying is not ok. Think about you child already this isnāt fair to her.
1 Like
You are being actively abused. I suggest seeking out therapy know your own to sort through these feelings. NEVER go to therapy with an abuser.
5 Likes
If heās accusing you that hard Iād say he has something to be guilty about. He might just be cheating himself. You need to get yourself a job and move on with your life.
2 Likes
If your child is suffering why are you posting on fb? Get your life together and kick him to the curb. Respect yourself. If heās constantly accusing you of these things itās likely heās projecting his actions on to you.
2 Likes
I stayed for 18 years, dealing with this kind of thing. Unfortunately, it gets worse. Please leave.
7 Likes
This is a shit show and totally annoying. I wouldnāt tolerate it . You get 1 life to live . Go live yours and enjoy it with your kid.
You do you do !
Thats abusive behavior and itās very unlikely to stop. Are you sure you love him?
3 Likes