If it ain’t broke…don’t fix it!
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I’d leave things how they are
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Leave it be… sperm does not make you a father
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Its a time. U will know. U been lying ready to him basically. Tell him when he is emotionally ready.
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Sounds like he already has a dad.
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Do not tell him. Why upset his world.
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Sperm donor does not make a dad.
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I’d protect my child & tell him nothing until he’s old enough to understand. I’d still do the DNA test incase of possible genetic health complications in the future or for the possibility of blood transfusions if your son has a rare blood type. It’s that simple.
No, he needs to know for medical reasons.
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Some time you may need the information for medical reasons.
Honesty is the best policy
No. Leave it alone. He’s too young to understand it.
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Talk to your husband about it and decide together.
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Just leave well alone, this man wants absolutely nothing to do with him, so what’s the point
for your own peace of mind get the test!
If it aint broke dom’t fix it! nuff said
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Honesty is always the best policy.
You tell your children to tell the truth. Set the example
NO, leave it alone !
First u need DNA to know exactly if he is the father don’t just assume. Then u tell him. Cuz suppose he ur husband.
get a DNA done. that way you know the truth, good luck
You may need to know for medical reasons some day
If he ever asks, don’t lie.
Otherwise, leave it be.
He has a father that loves him.
That’s all that really matters.
Be honest. He’ll appreciate more when he’s older than now.
Tell him. Don’t wait. If he finds out and you didn’t tell him he will be upset and hurt. Don’t put him though that. 
Leave it alone it will only hurt him
Unless that man is going to be a dad, there is no reason to introduce that concept until he is old enough to understand adult relationships!
To lie is never good especially to yr child. He deserves truth
Seems you like chaos in your life. Let it go!
You answered your own questions.
Why ruin a goos thing
DNA tests for everyone involved
If you tell him replace the word sleeping in this story with fu%%ing.
Then dont worry about it, things sound great now
Do a DNA test on your husband and son,if they match then you just saved yourself alot of heart ache
Id ask my husband if he really wa ts tp know or not
Definitely get a DNA test but keep the results until he is old enough to understand…a medical issue may come along🤷🏻♀️
It will all come out someday…
Everyone just let his parents decide. Enough already!
Tell him the truth, please and thank you.
Just buy a DNA kit and take the test
Tell him the truth before he hears it from someone else!
If hubby loves him keep mouth shut no need to start trouble
He is way to young to understand all this.
Do the DNA test, tell him the truth, do not let anyone hurt him with the truth.
this is your problem not your son’s keep your mouth shut
I would leave it alone
If it ain’t broke don’t fix it
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he has a dad leave it alone
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First off, you were doing more than just sleeping with those two guys if you got pregnant! I think you already know the answer to who his father is without a DNA test, because you keep referring to the other guy (not your husband) as his dad. Here is my thoughts, any guy can be a dad, but it takes someone special to be a father. It sounds as if your now husband is the better one of the two guys because he stepped up and still married you knowing that you were "sleeping " with someone else and agreed to raise the boy not caring if he was his biological son or not. If the DNA proves that your husband isn’t the father, is the other guy willing to start paying child support? That is the main reason he doesn’t want anything to do with him, because he knows you can file for child support from him! If you still choose to have the DNA test done, I would make sure your husband isn’t the biological father before you say anything to your son, because you, yourself said it could be a 50/50 chance that your husband could be his dad! Better be safe if you stir up a hornets nest!
Get it done and least you now and you can think about what you want to do later, this includes a talk with your now husband
Uh u shlda got tht done from day 1 to not have any of these future lrobs!
If you don’t tell him and he finds out as an adult it has a profound effect on him. Look at statistics. Some people commit suicide. Get the DNA, do thr right thing.
A sperm doner is not a father. The man who raised him and loved him is his father.
Eight years old is not a great time for the child to find out that he’s “different”! Now he feels like his dad is his dad and he’s part of the family same as his siblings. You might want to check with a psychiatrist who can explain why eight years old is not a good age to stir a hornet’s nest. By the age of eight, a child is “established” in the family and could develop some major problems to learn different.
If you have 5 sons with your husband, including the son that may not be his, and his other possible dad has never stepped up, why would you comtimplate this? It would be for you, certainly not your son. You son is happy, has 4 brothers and a dad. He is secure in his happiness with his family. How could you even consider shattering this. The harm you could cause him, because you want to know, could change his life completely, his self-esteem, his security and how he feels his brothers view him. Your curiosity could turn out to be a very selfish act.
That’s a hard one I know people who have been in your shoes both kids went off the deep end.They couldn’t handle it,but the problem is one found out by a hatefull relative .That was jealous of them sadly it can happen.So it really a tough spot your in.
Leave it alone. He has a father that loves him and takes care of him. Is it worth confusing your son? Is it worth making him think that the other man may be his father and doesn’t want him? He’s happy and he’s loved. I honestly don’t even think the DNA test should be done. You sound happy don’t stress yourself out. Be happy with what you’ve got…
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You can go to Walmart and buy a DNA test for around $60, test you your son and your husband. They email the results to you. My husband takes care of my 3 kids that are not his, but he is their father. Your son has every right to know, maybe not now but as he gets older. Every child has a right to know who their father is, even if it’s not who you want it to be. Best of luck to you.
Get the DNA test. If it comes out that your husband I’d dad then the conversation is irrelevant. If not, timing is everything! If you do it younger yes they know but may create issues. If you wait until he is an adult he would have the maturity to deal with it. The last thing you want to do is undermine his relationship with your husband and his security of where he belongs and his self esteem. If it comes up in conversation thread carefully but be honest. Until then carry on as you normally do. Your husband is his dad and loves him dearly. That’s what counts.
It has to be the truth and he has to know it…my friend just found out that she had a brother her mother had been forced to give up…back in the day. She is fine…the brother is having trouble accepting the fact that he has been lied to his entire life, and he is in his 60s.
One way or another, it will come out. It may be medical, a bad moment on the part of the sperm donor, or something else. I suggest you and your husband get professional advice as to how and when this should be revealed.
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Your husband is his father. No test needed.
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You should find out for sure and tell your son the truth!! I found out on my 39th bday that the man I thought was my bio dad wasn’t. This came 4 yrs after he passed away. Although I’m not happy I was lied to my ENTIRE life I am most upset that I was never able to acknowledge that this man stepped up when he didn’t have to!!! There were many opportunities for my parents to tell me the truth but they chose not to. My grandfather told me as he felt he couldn’t take that to the grave. I also have a son who’s bio doesn’t want to be in his life. My son is now 24 and my now husband has been his dad since he was 7. We have always been honest with my son and they have a great relationship. I’ve always been confident I was doing right by my son by telling him the truth and after finding out about my own life being a lie I am 10000% positive I did the right thing!! My husband and I have 3 other children and all 4 are equally the best things in both of our lives and at times equally the biggest pains in our butts!! Please be honest with your son when he’s able to comprehend!! In the long run it really is the best thing for him and for your relationship!!! Being on both sides of this, I can’t see anything good coming from hiding this from him!
Answer questions age appropriately number one and number two be honest always. But number three and most important because of his tender age either do it now or not until he is an adult because there will be emotional responses for him that will create strife for him if this is done in his teens and could lead to extreme behavioral issues. Make sure all parties are on board as well because things can change in the blink of an eye!
I would leave it alone for now. I think that 8 is too young to try and explain. I would wait until he is older and capable of understanding what is actually going on. My son is 17. His “donor” and I were actually married but he didn’t want kids. He was an only child and was basically raiesed by his mom as his dads job required him to travel a LOT (he worked for the railroad). He never had a good relationship with his dad and so just did not want to be a father. We separated and divorced when my son was 2 and my ex has NEVER been in his life. I met someone and did remarry and he was my son’s dad for 10 years until he decided that he wanted to have an affair with his HS sweetheart and then after 3 years of an affair with her divorced me (she was also married and divorced hwr husband) to be with her. What hurt was that he knew the situation with my son and knew that HE was my son’s dad not the “donor.” But when he divorced me he said oh and thats not my son. My son was devastated!!! If it hadnt been for that, I never would have told my son any different because there wasn’t reason to. He was happy and loved his dad and wanted to be just like him. Of course that has changed now but my point is, if your husband loves him and treats him as his own, why go through all that? What if it is found that the other guy is his father? That could have a huge impact on his life right now in a negative way. He may start to pull away from his dad and that would be hurtful to them both. Of course it is your decision as you are the parent but I would leave well enough alone.
I would do the DNA test and hopefully your husband is the father. You don’t have to tell your son anything at this point. However, when he finds out later in life you will have the DNA to show him… When it’s time to tell him, expect alot of hurt feelings. So do the DNA now so you will know for the future.
Why would you even want to open this can of worms??, your husband is his father to him an his brothers, don’t do something to change that, if your son ever asks, you can tell him just what you have told all of us on here an let him decide then.
LEAVE IT ALONE!!! When he is older then explain it to him why the sperm donor was never around… that it was his choice to walk away so let it go!!!
get the test. I’ve felt with in my family. my aunt had a baby really young…and my grandparents raised the baby as their 9wn child. they told her that her mom and her aunts were all sisters. so I grew up calling her auntie…when in reality she was my cousin. when she found out that her sister was actually her mother…which was like at 17 yrs old…she got all fkd up and almost ruined her life. u need to get a DNA test asap. tell him when hes old enough to process it it.
Why upset the whole relationship? If you open that door…it could hurt everyone. You have a good man that has been a excellent father and his name is the one on the birth certificate. Do you really think this will help your family? This can cause more friction between siblings to and do you really want that to happen?
The other person was just a sperm donor. He was not there during your pregnancy, he was not there for the birth, he was not therefore anything important in his life…YOUR HUSBAND WAS AND IS! Why hurt him? Thank god that you have a good man and father.
If it is so important get a home DNA test and at this age make a game out of it. Involve your husband . You dont have to involve the sperm donor. Make it a science project. You will have your answers without the drama.
When it comes back you have your answers. I pray your husband is the biological father as then you will know. But no matter what…dont tell your son as he has a great dad. Leave that alone. And forget the ex…he walked away not you.
Be happy with the family you have. Family is in the heart. I know as been there.
Do the home dna test
Leave well enough alone.
Do not discuss this with your son. He is far too young.
Get a dam DNA TEST… BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING
That will only hurt people
When he is old enough let him decide on his own
Leave well enough alone.
tell him truth is always best
Let sleeping dogs lie .
You need to talk to your husband get his advice. Tell him your concerns and yes your son deserves to know. I told mine never regretted it. I adopted a baby girl 15 years ago she knows her birth mother and chooses to not have nothing to do with her. People need to know for medical emergency and no inter martial problems. I can’t even imagine marrying family and find out later were related. That would be horrible
When he is of age then tell him. Why make him feel different. His bio is only the sperm donor. He dad is your husband. Leave it alone till he’s older.
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he has the right to know who his biological father is… But I would explain to him that the father who has raised him and been there for him is his real dad
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Nope just let it rest. I think it would hurt more then it helps.
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If you want to find out for your own peace of mi d, go for the DNA test, if your husband has no objections. Do not say anything to your son about the other man, even if he is the biological father. If he is the bio dad, you may ask him about his medical history and his family’s medical history. But, as I said, do not say anything about this to your son.
I’d have a DNA done, regardless. From there, you decide what you want to do. I, would inform my son - be truthful to him. He needs to know the story. Let your conscience be your guide.
Let it alone. The other man doesn’t matter now . Why rock tge boat!,? Son does not need to know.
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I wouldn’t have a DNA test done. Your son knows who his father is. What mans sperm fertilized the egg that made him will never change that. Your husband is the man that loves him and has raised him as his own. Don’t let overthinking create a problem that isn’t there.
Of course get DNA. Your son needs to know who is his biological father. The one who raised him will always remain his dad
Let it be …if you never get a DNA done then I would never mention the father who might be
Bottom line this kid should have known from day one who his real dad was
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Bio dads are highly overrated, the one who is there for the good and bad is the father. When your dad does not want you you never get over it. Find out and tell him when he’s 18 tell him who the sperm donor was, because that’s all he is and ever will be. You have a wonderful man and a great family don’t screw it up over a deadbeat , I think you still care for him and you will eventually lose everything. That’s why women allow assholes to rule their world
A biological urge in the back seat of a 57 chevy does not a father make. A parent is one who loves and nutures a child through his or her formative years. Yet animals have instincts. There is a bond to a biological connection. Even though it may be mostly an insatiable curiousity at best. Talk it over with your husband. You owe him that much. DNA is important. For health history etc. Sometimes people even though they may be your biological parents may not ever be responsible enough to own it. Not in a way that is beneficial to the child. Telling a child when he is at a vulnerable age can be devastating. Make sure he or she is mature enough to process the information. There is never a good way to say your dad may or may not be your real dad. He or she may embrace it. Or it could be devastating. You may not know for sure until you present the information. Some kids may feel relieved. Well I knew I felt different… some may feel…oh no…I am different…and be broken hearted. I would get the DNA test only if I wanted to accept the consequences. I would want to know. And I know others who said they wouldn’t. Whatever the out come. I believe in honesty. But what you must weigh is will it help or hurt? That goes for all involved. Your husband, your son, the other man involved, and ultimately yourself. He could be rejected or embraced. It can go either way. He may be disappointed completely and let down. As he gets older he may understand it better and cope better. Then at some point he may need that connection and be proud to have it. It speaks admirable of you to consider bearing it all to your son. A lot of selfish people would not dare for fear of humiliation. Know this. It will not only affect you or him, but all your children. If he takes it badly, he will never feel the same. It will ultimately affect all of your children. He may act different, and the other children may respond and act differently towards him. Believe me, I know.
Tell your son the truth and allow him to decide what he wants to do, you are more afraid he will see you as no perfect mother any more. You best tell him before his bio dad does in the future.
I think you should speak to both men in the situation before you make any decisions. As the only person who will not be affected by this is you. Your sons biological father might not want to have a son resenting him for not stepping up to the plate. Even though in my eyes he has done the best thing. As you were not a couple and chances were your husband could have been the father, still could, as you don’t really know till you take the test. Also your husbands relationship could be seriously damaged with your son, if it turns out he is not his real dad. At the end of the day, you need to accept responsibility for sleeping with two men at the same time and taking no precautions. Just because you are feeling guilty now doesn’t give you the right to wreck 3 people’s lives. At least take the test first, then if need be discuss it with all the people involved. As its not just your decision to make. If you don’t take the test you haven’t lied to your son. I personally would wait till he is older and mature enough to decide for himself if he wants to take the test. As he may not want to find out the man he calls dad is not his dad, and leave things as they. Are.
Just leave well enough alone!! Your son knows who his dad is (your husband)and that will NOT change, so leave it at that!! If you find out the sperm donor is his dad and that man rejects him… it’s only going to hurt him!! Don’t do it!!
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If you do get DNA and he is the father he can go for visitation…you should absoutley be honest with your son though
Any one can be a sperm donator but your husband is a loving kind man who treats him like his other sons. Leav3 it alone. When he’s older an$ can understand it’s his choice
The DNA test will answer a lot of question and give some peace of mind to you and your son. It shouldn’t change who his father is. It’s the one who loves him and raised him.