I agree with your husband. She made the bad choices now she needs to live with it.
If you give in and let her have it, it’ll be spent in a month, and she/they will be knocking on your door looking for more.
By law it’s her money by 18. Went through this with my oldest when she was 18. She blow all the money i one week.
If she not in Scholl there pro going to end her check anyways …but yes stick with your husband on this one probably her bf making her get the money from you’ll anyways
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I hade a similar situation with my nephew-turned-Brother by adoption. I stood my ground that according to my/his mother’s wishes, he didn’t get his $ until 21. He had himself emancipated at 17, I had to relinquish control. However, I insisted on a legal document stating that he received every cent due him so I wouldn’t fear a lawsuit when he decided there must be more $. He was very immature & blew through the money in record time. We have no contact now. Good luck to your family.
DO NOT DRAW IT OUT.!!! You have your husbands back NO MATTER WHAT!!
He is her father and the head of your household. Your husband knows she is in a toxic relationship. Even if you dont agree with him, he has the final say but whatever you do, DO NOT ALL OW whats happening between her and her father create division between you and him… Nope Never
Having raised 3 girls…1 a little rebel…I can almost promise you the boyfriend is pushing her to get the money from her dad. Do not take it out and give it to her.
Your husband should say Let’s go to court. Family Law judges are not fools. Let her learn what real life is like. Of course she is messing her life up but she will not listen. I’m sorry for your troubles .
She’s only 17. Dad never should’ve gave her the option of moving out. She needs some guidance. Ask her to come home. Give her lots of love and understanding. Her boyfriend means a lot to her for some reason. It will end soon. Try to heal as a family and not worry too much about the money or boyfriend. Deep down, she knows he’s a loser. She can’t lose him if she already lost you. Kids need love…lots of love and lots of understanding and guidance.
If she got the money, her boyfriend would probably spend it then he would be through with her. Stick with your husband.
Father is right. He might save her. Sounds like the boyfriend wants her money.
Father knows best in this situation. There will be no more money after she turns eighteen, unless she has a disability. SSI death benefits stop at eighteen.
I would not give in to her. Your husband is right.
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Do as husband wishes. Sounds like the boyfriend found out about it and is wanting her to have it so he can use it…might do a background check on him. If she is 17 she’s underage and if he’s over 18 he could be held on sex charges. Would not trust him…Dad is right!!!
He,s acting like Magem Markel controlling freak,if he doesn’t,t trust her and is controlling her,than he,s probably pushing her to fight with you to get her money,I would say no,it Soundstage he,s not only controlling her, now he is controlling you,s maybe she needs to seek a little counseling. It might bring her to her OWN senses, and give her the chance to speak for herself and show her how wrong he is for her .GOD BLESS.
Husband is in charge of this one and stand by his decision with him.
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Stick with your husband on this. She was given what the consequences would be now She has to have that experience. Otherwise she will learn that yelling screaming and bad behaviour gets her what she wants. hope that hps
Back her father coz she is way too immature to manage this controlling relationship
Have you watched any episodes of Snapped where the girl and boyfriend killed the mother because of money ? The Bible says that in the last days children will be ungrateful, disrespectful, boastful and despisers of good. Give her her money. She will be back after the disaster occurs begging for your help. That boy is a vampire and she can’t see it.
Tell your husband that it is not worth it. Give her the card! Please!
Your husband is right but, with these wicked boyfriends they will plot and lie in wait for you both! You will not have peace.
Dad is 
RIGHT! Coming from someone who was a rebellious n defiant teenager that has learned many lessons the HARD way. First of all that money was “supposed” to be used for her needs growing up until she turned the legal adult age of 18, hence why she “gets” it (if/what’s left) at 18. Second: DAD is in charge since not only was he left is charge of the money, but because he is her DAD. Third: He made rules n needs to stick to them. The only thing a person really owns is their word. Fourth: She will be 18 in approximately 2 months. It’ll all be done n over with in regards to the money. But then the real trouble will begin. Fifth: She can’t take you to family court because she is not an adult, which also shouldn’t have been allowed to leave the house especially with an abusive narcissist n her dad is still legally responsible for. Sixth: Since DAD is a responsible adult, he needs to take part of the money n put it aside for her when she’s more responsible, since we all know her n boyfriend will be making bad decisions n it’ll all be gone in the blink of an eye. Regardless if he’s used some for her care or has been saving it all for her, do NOT give it all to her!!! (And do NOT tell her there is the side savings!!!) I could’ve gone further in depth n on n n lol, but I’ll step off my soapbox for now. BEST WISHES (you’ll need it)
Let your husband handle it do as he wishes she needs to finish school how will she support her boyfriend
Since she has proven herself to be irresponsible, I think Dad should go to court and have the document changed to read that she can have a percentage of her money when she turns 25.
Be careful when dealing with this young man and maybe even daughter. Seek legal advice
I think too many parents take a hard line with kids just before they reach the age of majority - and that is a mistake. The first thing that should have happened was not punishing your daughter for being abused by her boyfriend! Your husband should have confronted him directly and told him in no uncertain terms what would happen to him if he didn’t quietly go away and stop attempting to contact your daughter. A restraining order on behalf of your daughter would have been in order. Next, mandatory counceling to find out why she is allowing herself to be abused. It may have to do with unresolved issues from her mother dying. Next, financial counceling for her trust fund. Last - by taking a hard line your husband pushed her out the door with a man, not a boy, that you both feel is abusive. She is now at his mercy. You know he is after her money. You don’t want to deal with the drama and want to give her the money even though I am sure you know the man will get it all. You need to get her back in the house where she is safe and get him off your property and out of her life.
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Your husband is very correct in holding firm to his responsibilities as a Dad , stand by him and explain to her , honour your fathers wishes for you and when you obey he will bless you . She must be guided even when she is against you. 
Let her go to court! Let her spend her money, call her bluff. By the time it even goes to court it will be November or later
Put it in an account that can’t be touched by anyone till she is 21!
My son turned 18 in January of his senior year
He demanded that I give him the money from his ‘dead dad’ I caved, supported him and he finished school He didn’t turn out so well. He thinks the world owes him a living. Stick with your husband. No school, no money. You used that money she thought was saved for her upkeep
Social security is only paid while minor is in school drop out or graduation. I got letter at 17 for my oldest wanting proof of graduation date. It has been a long time, not sure on current rules.
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I would listen to your husband. Sounds to me like the boyfriend has her brain washed. She needs to see him for what he is. Let him go to work and do for her. That is the real world. If she get her money he will really do what he can to keep her just for the money.
Dad is on the right track. She knew what would happen.
Get her away from that creep immediately. I know it’s easier said than done but her whole future may be in jeopardy. I’m sorry you are all in this situation. I have a 13 year old and this is one of my biggest fears. I just know had I not chosen an abusive love so young my life would’ve turned out differently & that would’ve been a good thing. I wish you the best. Big hugs
For one you didn’t respect anything she wanted. She loved the boy. You should of talked to about how he was acting. Not kick him out. Knowing your daughter would go with him. If the girls not living with you are not allowed her social security. You had ten days report the change in her living situation. After she turns a certain age ss. Will put in her name it should be survivors benefits. And if ss finds out your are keeping her money from her you will get in trouble. You need to give it to her.
When she turns 18 , give it to her. Then she’ll blow it on her boyfriend and be broke. Then he’ll dump her cause she had no money. She’ll want to move back in with you. Just a guess.
Stand with your husband and let’s see how long the boyfriend stays when he finds out that your husband meand business and thete is no money for him to get his hands on
You do nothing her Dad told her the stipulations and she didn’t abide by them
Unless you legally adopted her, it’s hubby’s decision. Stand by him besides no matter what the kid says, she has no standing in family court. She chose to leave because she didn’t want to follow the rules.
Hubby is right. Stand your ground.
It is the boyfriend harassing her and you folks, instigating the issue.he will take her money and leave.
I wonder if there is physical violence too. I think there is.
By the way, the drama will not end.
God’s blessings and peace for you and family!
give it to her,she has choices and lessons to learn you cannot stop that ,this boyfreind has showed signs of domestic abuse ,she needs to come to terms with that ,she has probably being deceiving you both for a long time ,the best you can do is just support her thru it ,with no money she wont come back to yous she will just find money else were ,she needs to understand that she is not in a healthy relationship and yous cannot make her see that ,you need to be prepared aand supportive for when she does come to her sences and see that this relationship is not one of love but one of control .you dont want her to think she cant come home ,and at the moment with all the bickering and abuse in the future she may feel so bad that she wont return ,so give her the money and leave the light on she is a teenager in a difficult relationship just be there for her when she needs you ,
Most laws make the minor not have the money until 21 but either way, the worst thing you could do is go against your husband. You may have a bond but bottom line, it is his daughter and if this ‘guy’ is like you say, he’ll just control what happens to the money and she’ll never see a dime, but then you’ll be off the hook and you wont have anymore drama, which is what it sounds like what you want, Smh, if you love her, be tough, you wont regret it, even if she gets mad.
Stick to your guns dad. You’re in charge of the money until she turns 18.
Ask her to come home, ask her if she’s okay. Talk to her in a caring manner and hopefully she will open up to you and what a bad influence her bf is and maybe give her some money and maybe she will feel like she can trust you.
That money is not hers to be handed over to. That money is for her living expense and throughout the years he probably needs to deduct some or each month. That’s not for her just to have and do what she wants with I hope you are taking out since she started receiving the checks. Look into it this is true facts.
Actually that SS money that you get is for her food, housing, clothing plus anything she might need. So the only money you should give her at all is the money you received after she moved out! It’s nice you saved it for her but in reality it’s yours! And it sounds like anything you give her most likely will end up with the boyfriend anyway!
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The moment you said that the boyfriend is not welcome in your home all hell broke loose, and now it’s bigger than you can handle. The correct thing to do was to ask God to intervene, and he would do it the most suttle way. My daughter was going out with a magision, I immediately hand it over to God because I am a Christian, a couple of months later they broke up. So it’s never too late for you to go on your knees, explain to God exactly what is on this page, cast all your burdens unto Jesus, for he cares for you, Sunday school days, and let God be God. All you do now going forward is to love her, that’s it, nothing else. Father, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I command the spirit of anger bitterness and judging to leave this family and replace it with your love and peace
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When she turns 18 or is out of school she will no longer receive social security.
Don’t get I volved …his daughter his rules. And anyway he is doing a good job…just back him up on this …if you go behind his back …your marriage WILL END
Let her know that if she takes you to court social services will get involved because she is technically still a minor. She will probably be ordered to go home or else go into foster care until she turns 18.
I would stick by my husband and abide by his wishes she will b 18 years old soon so until then I would not interfere with the decisions that my husband has made smh 
her boyfriend may b why she is insisting that she get her money now just 
for your daughter and support your husband he is right ok .
You cannot change it now, but you and he should have never let her go to start with, but since you did with certain conditions you have to stick to your guns. Most states allowing her to leave is the same thing as abandonment. Is that the charge that she is threatening to bring against him? Check with a lawyer.
No way. Although you helped raise her, this is his daughter and he is being a goid father, trying to teach her a good life lesson. Besides, it is in his name, not yours. Let daddy do his parenting duty. It’s hard.
Instead of everyone looking at it like a game to ‘win’
Give her it, when it’s gone it’s gone, it’s for her to live so let her blow it.
She has to learn the value and the importance from somewhere.
Unless you think it could be a dangerous amount of money or used for dangerous things (drugs)
Let’s them play grown ups and be done with it x
18th birthday as her father has stayed and followed . He is responsible for that money till she’s 18.
A judge would have to make me give her anything before she was 18.
Let her take it to court. She is only making a threat, and can’t actually follow through. And she knows it.
Let her take you to court. It’s a scare tactic on her part, or she won’t be very happy when the judge gets done with her!
Don’t enable her. Stay calm and kind and understand that she is under the spell of mr. narcissistic personality disorder, but under NO circumstances cave in about the money. Let them take you to family court. A judge would side with you and it’s an empty threat anyway.
If I were you I would withhold any money unless she dumps the bum boyfriend and let them take you to court for it.
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Stand by your husband. Do not let her come between you two. She is a teenager. Her boyfriend wants the money.
Back your husband, the boyfriend will spend the money and she will be back home with nothing. Tell her to talk to her Dad.
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Stay strong and dont give it to her. She will thank you some day later. Even if she us 18 and still acting stupid dont give it to her. Open a Roth IRA for her and she cant get to that till she is 21 legally. And it will make more money than a savings. Dont give her anything as long as she us being stupid. She can get a job and earn money
Tell her you changed it until she is 21 since she didn’t finish high school sorry and stick to your guns it’s the best thing you can do for her
The boyfriend knew about her money before they moved out and he is pressuring her to get it! 
Let Dad handle it. Social Security in some states stops the 1st Month after the 17th Bday. I would not answer her and the Boyfriends calls. They love each other so much, they can work, budget their money together and build their life. I would redecorate the room that was hers and make it my she Den.
Do not undermine your husband! He was clear and she knew the consequences. If she wants to change the situation she needs to talk to him. She can go back to school.
DO NOT GET INVOLVED! You’ll sacrifice your marriage over money for a child and an abusive boyfriend?
You’d be crossing a line big time not to mention breaking the law. It’s not your account in any way. It’s hers and his.
In no way should you involve yourself. Morally it’s corrupt, legally it’s corrupt. Ethically it’s wrong. What positive outcome can be had here? A spoiled child getting her way because she is throwing a temper tantrum?
I know it’s hard, you don’t want the drama, you love them both but you have to stand by what he’s said and done. You’re a team you and your husband. Back him up!
It goes to dad to help with her living expenses. He did not have to put in a savings for her. He could change the account and designate himself as trustee until she is 21. He could also put conditions on her getting any of it. She obviously sounds to o immature to handle money right now. She needs to go to school or get a job and prove she is responsible. Stand with dad he is right!! But she should not get it at all if she as immature as it sounds. She would probably give it all to the boyfriend.
Make her stick by the rules he set up. She is in danger, and needs him to help her out. Even if she doesn’t see it now.
The boyfriend sounds like a bully I hope he does not come gunning for her father…they are very bold…he want that money to spend on himself…
Stay out of it let your husband deal with her and maybe he should talk to a lawyer and see if something can be done so that her want end up broke
Let her take him to court. Maybe the judge will straighten her out. She’s gotta learn.
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When the money is gone she’ll want to come back. Stick with your husband… She’ll learn the hard .way.
Dads right this boyfriend sounds destructive for her.
I think a better talk would be to talk to her about abusive relationships and how they don’t always start with physical abuse and try to explain that her dad’s just worried about her? Yes she may find the situation counter productive but it more than likely stems from him wanting her money. A lot of what your hearing is his words not hers. Give it time, just try to keep healthy communication open. Don’t cave obviously but say hey I’m here for you, I get you don’t see it now and you feel its love but when someone truly loves you back they don’t treat you that way. (Yelling at you and putting you down)
Stick to your guns… your husband has balls follow his lead…. All that boy wants is her money
That what her so called boyfriend wants
Please tell your husband to stand his ground. But also keep a loving open relationship with her.Right now she thinks that she will die without the boyfriend…keep her close emotionally so she can come back when she is ready.
Signed…a retired psychotherapist.
First off, it’s going to be easy for me to say what I’d say really needs to be done, but I’m on the outside and actually living in and through something can totally change that. Living in that constant chaos would wear anyone down, especially not knowing that anything you do will work. But- if she’s not 18 bring her home! The boy truly is showing big signs of abuse, and probably dangerous, she’ll hate you, but she’ll live. Your husband is legally over the money, so that’s just too bad for her until she can file for it. That money isn’t legally hers until then. Actually that would be you living in hell, so- pray, God can and is the only one who can change anything, He can show her who this young man is, and change her.
Stay out of it,sounds like dad is good parent you also but stick by husband
First of all, that’s not legally “her money”. That money was given to her dad by the Social Security Administration to help raise her since there is a deceased parent. He chose to put it away for her and IF she makes good choices, he has stated that he would like to give it to her. That is his decision to make. The daughter has no right to demand the money. She does not even appear to be graduating and has moved out with her boyfriend. Stick to your guns dad! You are doing the right thing. If dad gives in on this, she will always continue to make her demands. If I were dad I would tell her that the money will always be there if you ever decide to graduate.
Still with your husband. It’s only a few more months . If the BF is that controlling she may not have anything left.
Dad is right, do not enable her she will thank u later when her relationship falls apart.
Support your husband.
It may not even get on the court calendar until she’s 18 in Nov anyway. Further, unless she’s a full time student, the death benefit ends in Nov anyway.
Give her half, on the condition she gets the other half when she finishes school, if she’s eighteen now. If not, do it when she turns eighteen. She’ll thank you later. Let her see how quickly it goes, and how much of it wasn’t spent by her. Hopefully it’ll be enough to open her eyes
Let her father follow?wow through with tough love. Possibly! The boyfriend is looking for the hand out more than she. He screams she screams
This is an unfolding nightmare: boyfriend basically calling the shots. She is headed for abuse and poverty. Once she gets the money it will soon be gone per the boyfriend’s desires. Some kids are so easily buffaloed. Hope the dad can do it, but all baby booboo has to do is wait til November then she hits the jackpot.
Stand by your man! Too much, too soon could be too little, too late.
Can he put it in a trust so that she can’t get it all at 18.
Nope. Stand your ground. She’s making bad decisions. I would make sure she has enough for herself to eat & dress.
Do not do that !!! That would be giving in to black mail. And she is not your daughter even though you have helped raise her. That would be disloyal to your husband. Her threats have no basis and wouldn’t hold up in court. They are bluffing.
Stand with your husband don’t cave into her. Let him handle it but stand by him as he does this. Don’t touch the account its in his name and its set up for her through him. if you do touch the account if he pushes it far enough you could get in serious trouble. Please be safe about it and stand by your husband eventually she will see her bf is controlling and narcissistic and more than likely abusive and she may very well return home.
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Tell her to get a grip and grow up. Bring it on, her boyfriend has not a shred of anything to do with it. Court may be the only way.
No way!!! Stick with your hubby on this one she chose the behavior an she can suffer the consequences for that bad behavior
He is a good parent. It’s not really up to you so you shouldn’t be putting pressure on him to do what you think will be easiest. It sounds like that money might be used up for drugs by the sounds of things, since the boyfriend is irrational. Let her go to court. She is unlikely to follow through with going to court, but don’t worry if you do go… the magistrate is likely to suggest that the teen’s choices aren’t the best even if they rule to give her the money now. And then you simply give it. Simple.
Hey Trisha this sounds fishy I bet they laid up at his kins house they crawling his ass about getting a job.and he’s pressuring her to get the money.Cause he’s sorry to carry a job.and anyone that controlling and mean to my child.I guess it’s like they used to say you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink it.
She drop out school or turns 18 the money ends?! More you dislike been the bf the more she hangs on! Been there done that!
Listen to your husband. He is right. She will end up pregnant and probably married. Then he will have even more control over her. She is immature. I see a hard road for her. Sad
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Why does she even know this account exists? Her father/your husband is correct. Temper tantrums and threats get zero reaction…she gets nothing. I would not even give it to her at 18…let her take you to court.
Time for tough love. It’s not her’s til she’s 18. And when she gets it her boyfriend will spend it all. Look up narcissists.
She knew the rules and agreed to them. Not y’all fault that she wants to play house and act like she is grown. Sad reality is she needs to see that this guy is not the one. She also needs to get back to school. The rate she is going she will suffer with a hard life. But communicate with her. Doesn’t matter how mad she is stay in contact with her. Always tell her you love her. Also mean what you say about she isn’t getting anything until she is 21. She takes it to court let them know the verbal agreement. Also they will see she dropped out so they have documentation. Also do well child check on her with the police just to have documentation so if she does take you to court yall can say yall don’t trust him but this is her life. She made her choice but yall will still do anything a caring parent has to do. Even if its from a distance. Also if he is harassing yall start recording it.
It’s none of your business your husband has made a decision he is the guardian over the money not you he knows I’d he gives her that money she will blow it then when she comes to her senses it will be gone
When she moved out, that should of been reported and her check would of stopped.
All she has to do is to go to a social security office. It’s the rule of the S.S. Office they’ll tell her anything she wants to know