I called my step mom by her name. Why do u feel u need a special name , your child wont be confused also u haven’t been with him long if u have an almost 2 year old
My step dad was “Mr.Jr.” I would never have called him “Jr.” out of respect, that’s just how I was raised though.
Your name. Then when they are speaking to you for your two year old mommy.
I have a step mother I call Linda. If I refer to her from my brothers which are 4 and 7 it’s mom
My daughter calls her step mother “Step” she picked it when she was 2 well actually she used to call her “Step mother” but the mother just sounded so rude the way she would say it so we dropped that and it’s just step. My kids call my boyfriend of 7 years by his name.
Honestly mama let them call you what they call you,they are kids! As long as you love them like you do your own that is all that matters
I’m 30 and my mums been with her husband since I was 8, I don’t call him anything else but his name! He’s not my dad so I won’t call him dad. I don’t get why they can’t just call you your name…
Im assuming everyonecalls you by yourname so its only right they do to .Theyll choose to call youwhat they like in time.
Whatever they choose to call you on their own
I let my SD13 decide what she wants to call me. She goes from mom to Lissa. Most of the time it’s Lissa. I told her it didn’t matter what she called me, just so long as she is comfortable.
Your name should do just fine especially with no ring or shared children.
It should be their choice however your son should know your real name as well. God for bid if he ever got lost he can’t tell an officer his moms name is mom. Trust me it doesn’t confuse them. Kids know who their parents are
Mine call me mama des. There mum knows this & the kids are always assured that I am step mum, we never talk bad about their mum as shes lovely also, Sometimes they will call me Mum by accident & if they dont correct themselves at 1st hear then I will or their dad will. My son (5) sometimes calls me mama des. I think its funny lol we let my stepkids choose there own name for me. I didnt want to be called my name either but assured them that it was their choice and whatever makes them feel comfy they can go ahead with. Will u be able to let them pick and choose?
It is a shame you are not hungarian. Here we have neni which means auntie but is also used for all females that need more than a 1st name also the same with uncle. Its cute
I would stick with your first name. And teach your 2 year old as it goes. If her or she calls you by your first name you correct it then and there.
My kids call my Man Mr.M…Anytime my kids speak to an adult they address them as Mr or Miss…Just a personal preference I have…Unless the Adult prefers something else…
Momma _______ insert first initial. My sister has a stepson, her name is Bridget. He calls her momma B
You can always ask the mother if she is okay with them calling you mom as well. My sisters call my mom mom and always have.
I was the child in this situation and I felt more comfortable calling her by her name. It should be whatever makes them feel connected to you, even if it’s your name. It will strengthen your bond and give them the confidence to know your relationship is special and not a replacement of their mother. Good luck to you!!
He won’t be confused. I have a stepdaughter who is 17 and my daughter is 8. SD has always called me Michelle. My daughter never has. When my stepdaughter refers to me to her sister, she calls me mom. As in, go tell mom the laundry is done.
My kids call my fiance by his name. We have one child together, she is 2, she has always heard her siblings call my ex (their dad) dad or daddy so that’s what she calls him. so I get that a small child can pick up on those things but I definitely think older children should decide for themselves.
My daughter calls her step dad by his name because that’s what she is comfortable with. We have two younger children together and our youngest daughter has heard my eldest refer to her own dad and has tried to call him dad and her own father by his name. It’s taken a little bit but she is now beginning to understand the dynamics of it all. It’s all about patience and educating the kids, you could do more harm then good requesting they call you something they aren’t comfortable with.
I have two teens who call my husband by his name as their stepdad; my almost 2 yr olds so far have never questioned this, he’s just dada. I had stepparents and always called them by their first name, it’s what was comfortable for me.
I had a step mom I attempted calling her “mom” it didn’t work for me. I ended up calling her by her 1st name. Because that is who she was to me.
I do call my step dad “dad” because He Raised Me. My biological dad I call “My Biological Dad” or “Richard” he donated but never truly raised me.
Its all how your step children see you. My inlaws are PawPaw and MawMaw because that is what my son named them.
The kids pick.
Oh and my cousins call their parents by full name not mom or dad. Just how it is. …
My step kids call me Ra My stepson couldn’t say Robin when he was little so I’ve always been Ra they asked to call me Mom when their mom disappeared for a few years I always said you can call me whatever you want as long as it’s not asshole. With that being said I also told them that their mom is their mom and I will never take that away from her but I am here for whatever they need
My youngest daughter calls her biological dad “Dad” and her step dad “Papa”. Because that is what the kids in his family ( nieces and nephew) call him. It was suggested to her and she was fine with it. Her father on the other hand does not like it at all. To me it is respectful. When I was married to her dad I had a stepson and he called me “mom” by his own choice. He still calls me mom to this day. Let the kids figure it out! My hunny calls my daughter his Bonus daughter and she loves it! I think it’s all about the bond between the step parent and the child. My daughter didn’t feel comfortable calling him by his first name. My older daughters didn’t get to bond with him so they simply call him by his first name.
I called my step mom by here given name. I have/had a mother and i didn’t feel see earned that title from me. However, my brothers and sisters referred to her as mom. We we’re all adults at this time. I guess its a matter of what the child feels comfortable with calling the step parent.
This makes no sense. You don’t want to confuse your child by having the stepchildren call you by your name but instead want to have a an additional separate name for yourself? Wouldn’t that be more confusing than your child hearing them call you by what everyone else does (your real name)? Your child is going to know you are “mom” and call you “mom”. Let them call you what they feel comfortable with… I’m a stepmom and a mom.
By your name unless THEY want to call you otherwise…especially if you are dealing with older children. You might push them away asking them to call you some “nickname” I would never ask my oldest (10) to call a step parent by anything other than thier name unless they choose to do so. Thats a quick way to get some eye rolls.
He wont be confused at all. My oldest has called his step dad J since day 1. Our little one has never gotten confused. To her its all the same (Daddy to her/ J to him). Let the bonus kids decide what they feel comfortable calling you.
It should be up to them. You dont want them to feel uncomfortable or weird. My mom died when I was young and my stepmother tried to make me call her mom. It felt like a betrayal to my mom to say that. So I would say just talk to them. If your name is it then you will have to work around it with your kids.
My stepdaughter calls me my name, if she is talking to my 19 month old she will say “go get mama”, he doesn’t get confused. He knows that I am mama to him and has not tried calling me by my name at all.
I was worried about this when my son was born, but he has never questioned why they call me by my name and not mum, and he is five now. They have always said ‘ask mum’ etc to him, but if they’re talking to me it’s always by name.
I always told my daughter she can call me anything that isn’t derogatory
It gave her the freedom to choose to call me something silly and fun but she ultimately just uses my first name unless she’s talking to her siblings then she refers to me as mom, since I’m their mom
My step kids dad refers to me as “mamma”, but they call me by first name normally. His 8 year old has been calling me “mom” recently- but it’s totally been her choice. She has a mom, so I don’t push it. I have told her I am ok with it if that’s what she want’s to call me.
Ask them what they’d like to call you? There’s nothing wrong with them calling you by your name. I’ve been married to my husband for 43 years & my children have always called him by his name. It’s whatever everybody is happy with.
I would worry more about building a connection and relationship with them and less focus on what they should call you … they will call you what they feel comfortable calling you let it be as comfortable as possible
I recall, after my husband and I were married, I asked my mother-in-law what she would like me to call her. She said Mom and I did but whenever she called us and I answered the phone, she made me guess who she was. She couldn’t say Mom and she couldn’t say her name. This was uncomfortable for both of us. Someone may have a good idea for both situations.
My step kids call me Julie. Sometimes they yell “mom” if they are saying my name and I don’t hear. My kids call their stepdad by his name. Occasionally, they will call him Dad or in speaking they will reference him as Dad and I have to clarify which dad? Let them use whatever term they are comfortable with.
My own children used to call me by my 1st name any way lol it’s something kids pick up quickly if u correct the child by explaining that ur called all different names by everyone they will understand sit down with your step children and ask them what they want to call you they might shock u and say bff
Whatever they are comfortable calling you. I have 3 step daughters and they call me by name some days and mom other days. My biological son always calls me mom. We explained to him why the girls dont and he understands.
hun get over it pls. They can call you WHATEVER they want as long as its respectful. If they wanna use Ma’am, miss, forst name, mom or nick name then so be it. Let them call you whatevwr THEY feel comfortable with. thats how i did it for my stepson. Took him over 2 yrs to call me mom. my kid was never confused and she was young as well.
Best thing my step dad did was ask me…he has always been Mark and he has always been okay with that. I have alot of respect for how he talked to me and considered me in all things
We have 8 between us 6 are my husbands two are mine. We just let them call us what they are comfortable calling us. 5 out of his 6 call me mom one calls me by my first name. One of my kids calls my husband dad my other daughter goes back and forth between dad and his first name lol In my opinion it should be about them being comfortable
My stepsons call me by my first name and my daughter grew up with no problem calling me mommy. My two stepsons feel comfortable with it, which makes me comfortable with it. They didn’t want a nickname and I wouldn’t force one on them.
I left it up to the child as long as it was respectful. My mom got remarried I call him by his name my kids asked him if they could call him Papa which is what we used for the other grandpas. He was thrilled. My step kids call me by my name hasn’t confused anyone around this house yet. Grandson is 2 and he has names figured out
Ask them for ideas on nicknames. something they feel comfortable calling you. Keep in mind it may take a little while for them. … Sunshine, Darlin’ , meme, something maybe close to your name but playful.
We are a blended family. Yours. Mine. Ours. And blessed with adoption as well…my bios call husband by his name. Ours and adopted call him daddy. You let the child choose. You don’t demand they call you anything. They’re way smarter than you think!!
I once heard someone had their young daughter call her step dad Adda instead of Dada, maybe you could use Amma instead of Mama. Just a thought, good luck to you!
You’re thinking to hard. He may call you by your first name a few times but children learn that not everyone calls their mother, Mom.
Sit them down and ask them what they are comfortable with. I tried calling my stepdad by dad and i just didnt like it so i call him by his name and he is perfectly fine with it
My step son has called me my name since he was little , and my daughter grew up with it and was never confused. She always called me mommy. Never even asked why he called me by my name
Ive had one lousy biological dad…who is still referred to as dad. My siblings and I have had 2 wonderful stepfathers whom weve had very loving relationships with Frank and Bill. We were older kids and franks were younger. My step siblings and brothers had no problems with confusion…they called him dad. Now our children when young called frank poppop and when older the other was called grandpa bill.
I mean my step kids call me mom. Momma nikki around their bio mom. Its all in what you all are comfortable with. Nothing has to be forced.
I have step kids, foster and biological kids. I let them choose. My daughter calls my husband Mike to his face but dad when she talks about him to other people
Can you talk to them about it and ask them what they feel comfortable with? Have a little family meeting with your fiance and his kids and come up with some ideas.
It should be what ever they want. I have 3 step daughters and two call me Heather and one goes back qnd forth from mom to Heather. My daughter calls me mom she also calls me Heather sometimes too qnd thats ok bc yes its my name and she should be able to tell people my name so im ok with it
Ask them to come up with a nickname for you. They can all call you the same thing or have their own individual nicknames. Whatever feels comfortable to them. But your two year old won’t get confused if they call you by your first name.
I would never my call my step mother or father anything other than what I wanted. For me it would be their first name but it really should be their choice. Especially if they are teenagers.
My daughter calls my fiance daddy or by his first name. We do have a son together. So if he did try say his name instead of dad id correct him. But my fiance does have a son by another from the past. He some times call me mom or by my first name…
Just for another perspective, Miss 4 has heard my husband call me Laurie, and sometimes tries her luck with that (and vice versa). I always called my step father by his first name, usually with full respect.
Kids pick up all sorts of things, it’s the way you manage it at the time that makes the biggest difference.
I definitely understand your concern. We lived with my parents after my daughter was born. She always heard everyone referring to her dad by his first name so she called him Sam instead of dad until she was like 3:woman_facepalming:t3:. My family got a kick out of it, but his family did not . Maybe Me-me. That’s what my grandmas foster kids used to call her.
My sons call my husband dad. They’re 6 and almost 4. We just had a baby together and their bio dad is giving up rights so my husband can adopt. They used to call bio dad “dad” and my husband by his first name but it changed after bio dad missed my oldests birthday a few years ago, and now they call bio dad by his first name. The whole time I’ve let them choose what they wanted to call both of them. It’s just a matter of what they’re comfortable with
It takes time but have them give you a nickname … my stepson calls me nena since he was 1 1/2 yrs old …
what do they call you now? As a fiance I would think you’ve been together a while, so they know you. No need for new names.
It depends on their age and your name. If your hubby is DD thats easier than MM but maybe mama then the first letter of your name instead of the whole name. Its quite an affectionate term often given by friends to each others parents (usually the mums) might be a relaxed way to be a bit of both?
My oldest calls my husband by his first name and our two very young daughters still call him daddy or dad. We have just always explained that bubby has a different daddy then them. Never been a big deal they seem to take it in stride.
Your name I had a stepmother who insisted the same and I was like 10. I HATED HER FOR THAT. Her first name was appropriate
I got my 2 step children at 15 months and 3 yrs. They call me Pappy. They said everybody has a mom, but not everybody is lucky enough to have a Pappy. Even my grandbabies call my Pappy.
My kids call my SO by his first name but when they speak to their baby brother, they say “go get Daddy” or something along those lines.
It’s always the kids choice. I wasnt ever comfortable with my ss calling me mom but couldnt stop her from doing it when my kids call me mom. I tried everytime she would call me mom I’d be like your mom is at home and she would just repeat and repeat until I went with it. my oldest by his choice calls his step parent dad, but he asl asked if he could call him that, hes only ever had him in his life.
My kids call my sister Deeda from way back …now even her grands call her that …Pick a fun name with the kids that means love and respect …they will use it …First names shouldn’t be an option .
It should be by your name your children will grow to understand when they are old enough and you have the ability to explain it to them. You reiterate to your children if by accident they call you by your first name that they are to call you mum and continue on until they understand
Don’t put to much emphasis on names let them call you whatever they feel comfortable with. Being a step parent is hard and being the child and having accept a new parent to the mix is hard enough so just let it be.
I called my step parents by their names. I was 6 when my dad remarried and 9 when my mom did. SD was only in my life for 6 years so I’m glad I never called him dad. My step mom however. As years went past, and I grew into an adult, while spending time with my step mom, or talking of her in stories I would refer to her as Mom, but only bc it was what felt comfortable at the time. Usually would still be her name, but often times I’d call her mom.
I have always told my step kids to call me whatever they would like. Rather it be mom, momma or Lori. My step son who is 10, husband got custody of him when he was 7, he calls me mom and calls his bio mom, mommie. My 2 year old hears her sister call me by my first name but my little girl knows im her momma.
Your 2yo more than likely won’t be confused. I have 2 stepchildren, one 12 and the other 11. I’ve been in their lives since they were 1 and 2. They’ve always called me rachel. My husband and I have a 5 yo and she never got confused or called me anything other than mommy.
Leave it up to the kids. I’ve seen a child forced to call her step dad Dad and it was not what she wanted.
My kids call my bf chuck or dad just depends but that’s one of those aunty things bc we was friends since his oldest now 17 was born so I’ve always been aunt fairy well when we got together 4 yrs ago they called my name but now it’s mom but that is their choice I never made em call him dad or me Mom … we have 10 together …
He won’t be confused and it’s good for him to learn your name anyways. My youngest and my husband’s youngest were 18 months when we met. Our oldest kids were 5 and 4.
My kids have called him dad from day one. His kids didn’t call me anything but “her” sometimes for a while lol 3 years later, they just call me by name but know I am their step mom. They know they can call me mom, dad, step mom, or whatever.
My kids call all 4 of their parents mom/dad or “mom/dad Name”. (I.e. Mom Sheri)
Never confused my son. My SS calls me by name (randomly “mom”) raises him since he was 5 (like has always lived with me) 8 year age gap from my child and he never got confused. Just gotta stop it when it does happen.
Let them choose my older girls had been calling me Angie since say day 1- I have 5 kids my 3 youngers were not confused by the olders calling me by my first name.
I have a daughter who was proud to have 3 mothers and 3 dads. Let them decide.
I don’t think it will cause confusion. My sister has always called my dad (her stepdad) by his name and me and my brother weren’t confused by it.
My step kids have always called me by my first name my kids call me mom. It’s always worked for us
I would say , speak to them , explain them the situation and find something together that works for all of you and let them decide with you so they feel you are including them and their feelings<3 best of luck
My 2 kids call my husband by his 1st name and when our son was born it didnt confuse him . now by kids say that he was alway there daddy on matter what they called him
I have a step son and he calls me misty or mamma misty my son who is the same age as my step son calls me mommy they know the difference some how your child wont call you by your name
My stepson has always called me by my name since he was 3. Hes 9 now and we since then had 3 kids. None of them find it confusing but my oldest daughter likes to call me by my first name when she doesn’t like me lol
My step kids call me Blair. My son met my now husband when he was
2.5 and he’s never been confused that I’m mom. My son calls my husband by his first name. Honestly, I think cutesy names r kinda silly. But to each their own
My step kids call me by a nickname (Lala) or my real name, which is also what my nephew calls me. It didn’t confuse my daughter at all and she is now 2.
Have them shorten your name or choose a pet name. My BF kids call me Mia or Nita. Every once in a while a Mom slips out and we have talked about that it’s ok. I love them just like their real Mom, Step Dad and Dad do. Children are very open minded little creatures.
Why don’t you ask them what they are comfortable w/ ?? In my personal opinion and experience, I just used their first names w/ my step parents. I was never comfortable using dad or mom as they weren’t my dad or my mom. Also, I think your younger one will be ok. Maybe the can use your first initial?
When my dad and step mom got together when I was a toddler. I always called her by her first name. She did give me the option to call her mom but i just felt more comfortable with just the first name. But when I am talking to my sister or brother that they had together I referred to her as mom most of the time but sometimes I just say her name.
As with my son and my husband he calls him by his first name well nickname everyone calls him (Mike) but we too also gave him the option to say dad which he does once in a while and he is 7.
I have 4 kids and He has 3 , my kids live with us and his kids don’t…none together. All teenagers. When we were trying to decide We all sat at the table and came up with nick names for everyone… So his name is now keke < which he hates lol mine is LuLu… but the kids decided so we excepted…It was a great idea .
My husbands stepmom we call her Tody but that’s because my husband couldn’t say her name and came up with a nickname for her and she loves frogs so Tody stuck. I don’t know her by anything else.
My step kids call me by my nickname which is Peaches. When they introduce to people they tell them I am their bonus mom.
Have a tlk with /mom n SD. I was the stepmom in this situation n we all tlkd n explaind to the lil girl tht she has 2 moms. But 1 is her mom mom n im just a bonus mom. We left it up to lil girl wht she felt comfortable with to call me. She calld me mom but we explaind the difference
I have a 17 1/2 year old step son and a 3 year old daughter. He calls me jess, she calls me mom. Never been an issue. I would say whatever makes them feel comfortable.
Your 2 year old won’t get confused promise. I have been with my now husband for almost 11 years. My youngest was 1.5 when we got together and my stepkids called me by my name but my bios have always called me mom and just about 6 years ago started calling my husband dad (by their own choice).
I called my stepmom by her name and momk. My kids call their stepmom by her name and mom (she has earned it, the kids asked me if it was ok too). My kids half-siblings started calling me grandma a few months ago when I died my hair white, none of us are correcting them, either.