Take you and your kids while husband is at work and leave
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agree with the above comments, I would also film him with the abuse
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Every state has programs to help pay for people to go to nursing homes they will go by HIS income not your familyâs. I run an assisted living facility all states have help for this. Go to your local welfare office and they can direct you in the right direction. It would be worth it for your peace of mind.
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Tell your husband you need help. Itâs time for other family to take him. Give husband ultimatumâŚhis father goes or you go. See a lawyer first.
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Get away from the whole family
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Theyâre holding you prisoner in that house by threatening you with violence if you leave. There should be someone you can contact, in your area, that helps women in abusive relationships. They can provide you with a lot of resources. You definitely need to get out of there. As stated above document everything. If you can record it safely do so.
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You need to contact lawyer and see what you can do. Donât threaten, your husbandt sounds abusive. He may hurt you. Contact a abused womenâs shelter.
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Care phycility check with med I are Medicaid
Either put him in a home or it will ruin your marriage! It did mine! Its NOT your responsibility to take care of him!
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Social security will pay for the nursing home
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Your husband doesnât respect you if he lets his dad treat you like that pack up and leave.
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Thereâs ways to get help with the nursing home but I would have done put him
There to be honest
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Youâre not better off gone, but you would be better off out of that situation.
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Every state has nursing home mediciad. They go by the dads income and resources not the people he is living with. Find a nice home and put him in there. You have 3 young children to raise and you donât need the abuse of a bitter old man. Your children deserve a better life then that. Move him out and if the husband doesnât like it he can move out too.
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Did I read this correct? First, you need me time too, and donât let your family think you are better off dead. EVER. Second, why in the hell would your husband say to his dad to hit you? That is abuse and it is absolutely unacceptable. Donât let your family bring you down, they should be the ones lifting you up. Please remember that you are more than how your family speaks of you. I know itâs hard, but keep your chin up.
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Get social services case worker for him adult services and get him j to a home. He can go under Medicare or Medicaid. We had to do this to my dad as he was always nasty to me and no one wanted to be around him much. Find a good place and donât feel guilty. Sometimes they canât help it
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In laws will always destroy a happy family home Because they are not happy. Iâll never take care someone else parent when I donât even take care of mine. My parents who raised me, clothed me, and fed me. Your in law needs to go away for the sake of your family. You are not his maid.
Youâre expirencing domestic violence. Itâs not always a partner. Anyone you have a domestic relationship with can abuse you. Go to a shelter. Follow the rules & program. Let them help you out. Unfortunately your husband had to choose between you & your kids & his father.
As far as a nursing home family is not responsible for paying his medical bills. They will tell you otherwise. I had a nursing home threaten to take my home, car etc. I was even served with papers. They canât do any of that. Donât assume responsibility. If you pay them anything they can then hold you responsible for years. Anyway they can by his income & assets. If he owns anything have your husband convince him to take it out of his name. State funded hospitals arenât great. But if he canât respect you itâs a possible option.
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Without an abusive patient, being a full time care giver is hard on the care giver. Tell your husband he has got to help resolve this problem of your abusive father n law or you will. Be strong and go ahead and find out about nursing home facilities with everything you need to do. To have all this information first helps you have a stronger case. But you have Got to take care of you. Your kids need you
If he wants to quit and be a caregiver fine but itâs not your responsibility wash your hands he isnât going to take your kids without proof that youâre an unfit mother which is hard as hell unless you hand him a reason to claim that if your spouse canât respect you and your boundaries thatâs not someone to be with
You need to leave the in law or take ur kids be done with ur husband too. Kids sanity is first. Not the in-law
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Pack your bags, grab your children and leave!
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Girl put in a nanny cam, get as much proof as possible. Start an account if you donât already have one one of your own, start stashing a lottle money.
If you have any family or anyone close start sending them important paper and mementos that wonât be missed, start preparing.
He would have to prove you unfit to take your kids. Thatâs a narcissist threat. Also contact your local state aid office or the local state aid office you would like to move to. Maybe near family. Tell them you want to leave an abusive relationship but you have been threatened by your husband and his father. Sign up for housing assistance, childcare assistance and any other assistance they can give you.
Donât tell him any of your decisions, act like same old you. And even if his dad does get put in a home , I would still rethink the whole marriage if he is willing to treat you that way.
Get your kids n go somewhere else. Leave your husband to deal with his abusive bs. Your husband is not being fair to his family he should ALSO be concerned with that bs!
Tell him your gone your hubs and he n his family can figure out how to pay for a home If they canât afford it they can put together on it.
DO NOT STAY ANOTHER DAY THERE WITH YOUR KIDS!
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Pack your kids up and leave
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He needs to go to a home. Your mental health isnât worth it. If your husband has an issue then he can quit his job and deal with him. Itâs understandable that you want to help because his family and heâs not doing well. But fuck that.
Absolutely not. If he cannot be respectful and grateful then he can be cared for elsewhere. You and your children do not deserve that at all! Sounds like you and your children need to get away from
Your husband and his father because it seems in this case the apple doesnât fall far from the tree! Whether it domestic violence verbally or physically it is NOT okay and as a mother it is your job to protect your children 100 too!
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Iâd take the kids and move to a friendâs or family temporarily to prove a point to your husband. Block your in laws number and take your name off all emergency contacts, put your husband instead. Have him be the one to drop everything and go take care of his dad. Make him see what his dad does.
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Man this was hard to get through đĽ˛
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Girl get out of that toxic mess. If your husband isnât supporting you and standing by you than he doesnât deserve to have you. The dad could go on Medicaid and get his nursing home paid for they usually take there social security to cover a portion and the state pays the rest! If your husband is not willing to support you and compromise than RUN! Because your taking a lot and shouldnât have to be.
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Tell your husband to take care of him
He canât take away your kids because you donât want to take care of his father because of the way he treats you and your kids. If I was dealing with that and I had a husband I would tell him make a choice.
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Your putting your kids through that? Get the hell out. And take them with.
I. Lived. What you. R. Liveing now leave hiss ass. They threatenin to take away. Your. Kids. Itâs. A controller who. Doesnât. Give. A. Flip. About. You
You definitely donât want your husband keeping your kids in that environment if you separate and he gets visitation rights. See a lawyer and social services before making any moves.
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You get him in another home
You need to stick up for your kids and yourself. Quit doing things for him until he can be nicer. If he is abusive - call the cops. They will eventually assign a social worker who can help find placement for him outside of your home. Especially since there are minor children in the house, you will get more assistance to move him along.
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Dear heavenly Father we come to You for you miracle healing and taking care of this mom and he small children. So many are having to deal with this kind of family abuse right now . Praise God for Your answer. Amen
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Do unto others! Itâs petty and itâs childish, but treat him how he treats you. My ex in laws used to treat me like shit. I got sick of it and started giving it back. It stopped. Now Iâm divorced and I hear all the time that they miss me.
If you canât afford a nursing home, consider other options. If heâs older and has health issues, I assume he has insurance and gets either social security or disability. Look into subsidized housing (income based) and check with his insurance, they may provide coverage for a home health aid⌠someone who will come daily, help him with daily chores, take him to the store and doctors appointments and make sure he is taking any medication. Good luck!
Stop doing anything for the in law let him fend for himself, no food no laundry no nothing
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You & your Kids dont deserve this behavior & Sounds like hubby as dumped the responsibility all on you( would he put up with this behavior from one of your Parents treatment towards himâŚI think Not.) âŚDont let this destroy you & hurt your kids.
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Get a lawyer and sue him for divorce!! He canât hit anyone who isnât there!!!
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i mean does he have insurance? how do they get people into nursing homes with no family?
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Nursing home wonât cost yâall money , they will accept his medical card and Ss check as payment . No money from yâall . Unless he has a lot of money of his own then he will have to pay for it .
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SET HIM OUT TODAY----save your family.
Youâve got two issues. A fil thats abusive and a husband that doesnât care that his wife and kids are being abused. I suggest you leave, make arrangements for your kids for after school and go back to work. Otherwise youâll be left with nothing. If the fil was a veteran, he can qualify for benefits to go into a home. If not, call adult services and see if they have any suggestions.
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Does your fil have dementia, if he mocks you & kids, and abusive to you, is he self sufficient with own personal care, talk to someone in council for aging ther should be an office around for guidence
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Leave. Get the court involved if he tries to take kids away and tell them everything
You need to contact a battered womenâs shelter. You shouldnât be dealing with any abuse, threats or not, with all youâve done. Get you and your kids out of there.
Start recording his abusive behavior and if he hits you call 911.
Do not give any of your time, labour or money to a chauvinist who thinks you are less than him because you are a woman. Just stop doing stuff for him. He will behave or move out on his own. Even if he becomes homeless that is not your business. Put yourself first because your priority is to be a mother.
Hang on whoâs threatening you? I read it as the husband and his father are. You need to record that and get them both removed using that as evidence. Record anything you can.
Call your friends and family make a plan and leave.
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Take the kids and go
Thats awful
He needs to be put in a adult living facility. The cost of your mental health is not worth this.
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Your husband is just as abusive, run as fast as you can.
Leave now with your kids. Your putting your kids in danger. Put those kids first.
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Move out and take your kids they dont care about you
Sounds like your husband is just as abusive as this âin-lawâ
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Take your kids and leave them both sit.
It sounds like youâre in a narcissistic nightmare and you need to get away fast. I wouldnât listen to your husband about him taking the kids away. Judges always favor the mother more anyways and usually never want to take kids away from the mother unless there is serious proof she is an unfit mother. Start recording conversations if you have to.
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Leave the two idiots. U and ur kids deserve to be happy
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You need to get your children and you out of that situation. Period. Your husband seems like a real winner to threaten to hit you and take the kids. Leave his ass to care for his own dad.
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He needs nursing home. You need to grab them kids and leave. Good luck to you
It looks like everyone here has the exact same answer. Itâs time to get your babies and yourself out of there. I truly do not believe he will legally even be able to have part custody, let alongâtake away your kidsâ. There is no way. Youâve got this momma. Itâs time to take care of you, and the kids. If taking care of in law isnât such a big deal to him, then let him do it by himself. 
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Ask him point blank who the hell he thinks is going to take care of him when he succeeds in breaking the family apart. 
Bc it wonât be you. Does he think his son will do for him as you do? He needs a reality check.
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I would text your husband first. That way you have proof heâs just as verbally abusive. Than pack yours and your kids stuff and leave.
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Grab ur kids and get the hell out of there!
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If your husband doesnât support you & your kids and your needs then get out. Go to your motherâs, your friendâs house, apartment⌠wherever you need to.
Leave him to care for his mean family member himself.
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No one deserves to be abused in any way.
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Iâd leaveâŚ
As a husband , he needs to take care of His wife and kids first.
That should be his main concern.
If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, get out.
If youâre being threatened , leave.
Itâs not worth finding out if theyâll act on those threats.
I feel he shouldâve listened to you. But thatâs my opinion.
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Look into a nursing home/assisted living where their trained to care people like your in lawâŚ
12 year old needs to go to school and learn correct grammar.
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Get help from a doctor for him. He needs medication! Thorazine his ass! If you are depending on his income itâs not worth it.
Oh damn! This is crazy. Im so sorry youâre going through this. Its definitely alot on your plate with your kids. Tell your husband he needs to get help for his dad. And to take a vacation to help with his dad finding another home. If u plan to leave make a plan and stick to it. The day u leave withdrawal all money from the bank amd never look back
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Girl leave him! Its 2021 there is so much support out here for you!
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They have no respect toward you. If you could leave with the kids, youâd be better off and so would the kids.
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You take those kids and get out of that situation now. If your husband canât stand up and act like a man you donât need him. You are the one carrying the load. Sounds like he donât give a flip. I WOULD GET OUT NOW.
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I feel that. Put him in a home and worry about your little family. Your husband should be on board if its hurting you like it is.
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Iâd leave. I wouldnât put up with that.
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I am so sorry you are going through this. I was also in an abusive relationship itâs hard but you just have to leave you are stronger than you think. Always remember you deserve and are worth better.
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Try to do a short term rental for a few months with your kids to gather yourself and then decide what are your next steps
If there is any kind of abuse in the home a social worker will get involved and remove the children if they feel they arenât safe.It would probably be best if you held onto your kids and got them a safe and healthy home life 
If yourself or kids are in danger
Call 911
Donât know what Province you are in and the sad part is is each province has her own victim assistance link or domestic violence links, but you can look them online
Take care of your kids and yourself your husband Iâll figure it out or he wonât
put him in a home and tell your husband to fuck off. its worse for the kids if you all stay.
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Donât let the in law disrespect u. If he cant be nice and respectful and polite. Fuck him. Hes not ur daddy and he treats u like shit for trying. As for hubby and his bullshit dont let him get away with it either. Reach out to family and c if someone would let u and ur kids stay awhile. Take a break. If ur able to disappear for a couple days couple months watever and he has anything to say on the matter tell him again how u feel. U taking off with ur kids might just be wat he needs to get his head out his ass or hes gunna call it quits. Will definitely let ya know if hes worth the headache.
Call Dept of health and ask for help. They may deem him unsafe to be in the home and help you get him settled somewhere else
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Give him an ultimatum. Give him so many days/weeks to get his father into a home or you take kids and leave. He either respects you as his wife or you leave. You can get him into assisted living or a nursing home. Call a case worker and get started yourself if you have to.
In my opinion I honestly would just leave. That kind of treatment from them is unacceptable. You and your children deserve better than that.
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Find him an apartment and and if he gets help from government they should find him a provider for him he can move by himself
Kick the husband and dad out!!
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Has he always been this way? How old is he? Can he not help his behavior? Do not throw your family member in a home to waste away alone. The harder he tests you, the more love you show.
Start recording things, visual and audio and keep records of the abuse, then call the police let them know about the threats, leave cause if he canât see how bad that is for the children to grow up around itâll get worse, there are help lines and shelters they will NOT take your kids away for protecting them from the abuse
Sounds like he is only using him to get his money. I know that most nursing homes and stuff will take most of the check and only give you a few dollars for personal items a month. That would explain why he doesnât want him going into one because he wants that money
You have no obligation to take care of your in law if itâs just soley you caring for him. Contact state programs and see if you can get him into a government paid facility. My mom always goes on about wanting me to take care of her when sheâs elderly after my dad passes and if itâs assisted help where she can stay in her own home then sure Iâll assist her with things like running errands, grocery shopping, making sure bills are paid, etc, but if it ever comes to needing more than that I told her sorry, but my children come first and my own sanity as she has been a very toxic parent in my entire life and has caused me mental health issues, so beyond a healthy balance, she will be in a home. 
If you arenât willing to put yourself and your kids first then youâll continue to let yourself be stomped on then nobody can help you.
You need to call the police and social worker to help you get him in a place you and kids should come first in your husbands eyes if he canât then you need to get your kids and get out God Bless You and your children
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Call the national domestic violence hotline. They can help.
My husbandâs mother is his problem along with his siblingsâŚshe has been out of my life for a long time.
Take the children & leave!
Get a caretaker to come in 2-3 times a week