RUN - fast and don’t look back. This will NEVER change. They do what you want them to do to get you back and then fall back into the same old bullshit. Move onward and upward without him. Will be the best thing you will ever do!!!
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Do not let others tell you to stay in an emotionally abusive relationship. Think of what your babies will grow up seeing. You are obviously stronger and smarter than they are.
They say once your mind is ready to leave you body and soul goes too. there is nothing that will change this. Plus keep your kids in mind. They are seeing this so they probably think this is how we treat our partners which isn’t a good thing. I have been in this situation but my ex was a drug addict it’s not good for you or your family. I still suffer and I have been separated for several yrs. The worst thing is my kids now see a sycologist as an adult for me staying.
At this point you need more of a father instead of a husband grom this man…divorce…schedule supervised visits and make his ass man up.
Your babies would never wish that you stay in an unhappy relationship for their sake.
Walk away as hard as its going to be coming from experience… I was with my husband for 17 years and he passed due to alcohol I served divorce papers and the addiction untimely won
Speaking from the perspective of a recovering alcoholic with a little over 9 years sober, getting sober is easy, waking up every day and choosing to not drink, looking each day for things that you value too much to lose due to your substance abuse, that’s the hard part. I’m sure you’ve heard this more times than you can count but it’s true, no addict or alcoholic stops using unless and until they truly want to and truly are ready to. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you and your children and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t value the life you’ve built together and while I’m not trying to make excuses for him, the truth is that his brain is hijacked, he’s literally not himself. I can’t tell you whether or not to proceed with the divorce, I can only tell you that you need to put yourself and your children first. Also, he may or may not have tried this before, but Vivitrol is a great, non addictive safety net specifically used for recovering alcoholics and recovering opiate addicts. It’s a once a month shot, that actually blocks the effects of the harmful substances. He can drink but he won’t feel drunk. He’ll get alcohol poisoning trying to feel drunk before he feels drunk. It’s also a good idea for him to get into some sorta program after he finishes the initial detox/rehab program. I know 12 step programs aren’t for everyone so if that’s not his jam doing one on one intensive therapy would be a great alternative. I also suggest that you look into therapy or al anon for yourself. Addiction truly is a family disease and it sadly affects each and every person around the addict. Best of luck to you and your family 
Girl fuck him. Think about your children. That’s not healthy for them. You don’t want that around them
You already know the answer to this. Don’t you.
You and kids come first …
Follow your heart, gut, and instincts.
Kick him to the curb🥾
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Stop having babies for him …
Don’t teach your kids to take that bullshit. They’ll do whatever they see you do about this
Fuck that guy. Time for a new one
Save u and the kids before ur in the paper
get help to move out, that’s what I would do
LEAVE… Hell you need to RUN!
From experience.
Run, girl. Run.
Move on & be happy 
Nooooo… Stick to your guns
You left for a reason. Remember that.
You and your kids deserve better
So many people are wrong.
It will be a NEVER ENDING BATTLE
Um no, do what’s best for you
Walk… don’t look back
Only you know when enough is enough
No, leave, do better. 
Leave It will damage you and the kids more to stay
If u ready to leave your ready theres no second guessing it
You could check out Alanon
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Find your happiness. 
Kick him to the curb
Find an alanon meeting
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Def recommend Wives of Addicts Support and Partners and Spouses of Addicts
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I took too long to leave, better off doing it now!
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3 strikes & you’re out.
Do yoy NEED? The rhe house or a rental?
A leopard never changes their spots?
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Don’t if he really loves you he’ll listen to what you’ll say because he knows its for the best! Just let him go it may hurt but you eventually get over it!
Please, coming from someone who was brought up my whole childhood & into adulthood in the same situation, I would say leave while you can, as a child & young teen I went through hell watching the abuse & anger & now in my adult life I still lay a lot of the blame for what I went through, with my mother as she chose an alcoholic & domestic abuser over her own children!
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Please leave. My grandma was in a similar situation with my biological grandfather. He could be a sweet guy, but when he drank he cheated and became emotionally and mentally abusive. She put up with it for many years before leaving. She is now married to the man I call Papa and is so much happier. Give yourself a chance to breathe and be happy. It won’t get better.
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I lived that life for 15 years…left and came back when he got better then it got bad and I’d leave again. It progressed into physical abuse, we had two kids, he would abuse me and to get to the kids he started hitting the dog so the kids would fear him. I stayed until he laid a hand on our oldest (12 at the time) for breaking his glasses. At that point I was done, I slept on the couch for 6 months till I had saved enough to leave. When I finally left my kids told me they wished I had left years ago and they barely talk to him now, I always took them to their weekend visits but now at 19 and 16 they just choose to stay away. He is currently facing 10-20 years for repeatedly doing the same to his current girlfriend. My advice is…it only progresses, get out before it affects your children.
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If there isn’t action behind the words its manipulation. Dry addicts exist… File for seperation, the IF he is real, let him probe it in a Rehab, then sober living. Meanwhile, take yourself and kids to Al-Annon. Your answer will be revealed in this process🙌
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He will not change. That is his control mechanism and he knows it works every time. If you are able to leave do it. Follow through with the divorce and tell him its also for his own good and the children. Be brave. All the best.
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Has he been in treatment, is he ready for treatment ? Do you have the program called Teen Challenge It is am amazing program ( not just for teens) Google Teen Challenge Brainerd Mn. I’ve seen many come out of this and they make it ,and you yourself need a support system as codependency is a issue when we are trying to cope with living with living someone with addiction.
Let him get sober. Continue with the divorce. Tell him after he has at least a year of sobriety you will consider dating him. Don’t promise anything. Put yourself 1st. Kids will be happier. Try not to keep him from his kids. Good luck and God bless you and your kids.
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If this was me, & I had lived through what you have been doing. I would take my children & move out until my husband can prove he has this addication under control, long term
You need to do what’s best for you & your children. When people try to bully you & pass comment on your marriage, it’s very easy to so when they haven’t had to walk in your shoes.
Bless you as seek to bring some peace to your family
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Been in a similar situation. Sounds like you stuck it out as long as you can but you have to take care of you and your children’s mental health at some point too. It is very hard not to take it personal when they choose addiction over their family. Good luck hunny!
If he’s tried to get sober and falls right back into it, id say make him leave. It’s not fair to you or your kids to have to deal with a belligerent drunk on a daily. I know how exhausting that is. My older brother is a raging alcoholic and I wouldn’t wish dealing with all the ups and downs on my worst enemy. If in the future he genuinely gets sober and you both wanna try and make your family whole then I’d say do it. But don’t put yourself or your kids through that. Good luck
Please leave. Even if he gets sober, please do not take him back. That is not what is best for you or your family. Abuse tends to be a slippery slope and soon it will turn physical. Even when he gets sober, he has issues that he needs to work on, alone. Let him prove to your kids that he can be a great father, but that ship has sailed for your relationship. He has already shown you that he isn’t a great husband the second he began abusing you.
I was with an alcoholic for many many years. I loved him. I always hoped and prayed he would stop, I begged him to get help, but he didn’t. None will change unless they truly want to for themselves. It took me a long time to realize I wasted precious time waiting on him to keep his promises.
No way do not take him back he has had his chances keep goin be strong be so worth it in end for sake of ur children
Do what’s best for you and the children! Don’t let him or others influence your decision!
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Keep moving foward. Right now, your focus needs to be on you and the kids. Personally, I feel you staying only teaches the kids that is how you treat a woman and that you need to just put up with being treated like that. Teach those kids that they have choices and to NEVER deal with being treated like that! You’ve got this!!!
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Separate for now keep the divorce on the back burner make him get help (only if u want to if u don’t love any more then move towards the divorce) but stay separate and let it all just mellow out miracles can happen
As difficult as it may be… you must have the strength and remove yourself and your children. I was in your same exact situation minus the marriage. His drinking was excessive. He was aggressive when he drank. He would argue about whatever came to mind, specially any childhood issues. I was fed up and knew this situation was hurting my child upbringing. She was just 2 years old when I said, enough Is enough. Our last DV incident was the last drop that filled the cup. Believe it or not, I spoke to the judge and stated that he needed to be removed out my place. She sent me to housing court no matter my reason behind it. So I cane up with my own plan and waited until he left yo work. I packed all his belongings and put them in storage. When I was done removing his belongings I let him know he had no apartment to come home to. That day seem perfect because on this same day, he had forgotten his keys. He had just slam locked the door. Was I scared? Definitely. Did I feel some guilt bc our daughter wasn’t going to have dad at home? Definitely. However I knew I had to remove her before you she was damaged. At.only 2 yrs old, I knew she’s heard and seen too much chaos between us. I was afraid that he would call the cops on me for evicting him in such manner but that was the chance I took. It was definitely the life changing and best chance I took. I didn’t allow him back. He wasn’t proactive with our daughter then and isn’t till this day either. Does he blame me for his actions? Yes. Does he uses his broken father daughter relationship? Yes, each and every time he gets a chance to blame me about it. I rather show my daughter a safe and peaceful place then to allow to live in misery. I know there’s a lot that crosses your mind and makes you stay. Whatever good times that crosses your mind will only be memories. Those good times may no longer come around. Throughout this whole journey of mine, the drinking never stopped. It will be the same for years to come but I assure for that not to be my problem or my daughter’s. Allow yourself time to find a safe strategy and remove yourself with your children. I’m sure your children would much rather see a peaceful mother in a single home then two parents who makes home a nightmare for them.
I’m still single at this current time and I’m not rushing anything. I’m happy my daughter is a happy child. One thing is for sure…6 years have passed by and she remembers bits and pieces of certain nights. Never did think she would have any memories of but she does.
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Leave, you don’t wanna be another 5 years down the line feeling miserable in your own home. Kids are smart they will be aware of your feelings and discomfort around him and it could mirror through them causing a strained relationship between them and their dad. I’d say leave but remain amicable and put a plan in place so he has visitation and move on and be happy. Show your kids how important it is to choose paths that make you happy!xx
Just leave he is not going to change, do what’s best for you and the kids, stop listening to others you know what is best for you and the kids.
I was in the same situation. My husband and i have been together for 7 years and 3 years out of it he was an alcoholic and drug user and while i was pregnant with my first we got into it physically and he walked away and ended up in jail for a month when he got out he stayed clean for a month then i had our daughter i didnt know he was high as a kite when i had our daughter but a week later he ended up back in jail for a year so i left the place we called home and i moved back closer to my mom and i lived my life for a year with my daughter till he got out a year later and that was his wale up call and not hes been sober for 5 year with drugs he does still drink but we have an agreement when he can drink and how much. And now we are living the best life with 2 kids. Wish you the best
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Time to show your kids they can walk away from anyone who doesn’t give them the love and respect they deserve.
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I wound demand meetings, him working with a sponsor, out-patient, family therapy AND at LEAST 1 year clean and sober from ALL mind altering substances THEN and ONLY then do you start considering letting him visit you and the kids then ever so slowly let him in your life again.
Good Luck!
I was a child raised with an alcoholic father. I watched my mom waste so many years on him…15 years to be exact. I always thought it was normal to live in chaos…as a child I’d have to sit for hours and hours and listen to lecture after lecture, I was kept up late, never could focus in school, I was always worried about what my mother was enduring at home, my sister left the house at 16, my brother ended up commiting suicide in his early 30s, and me well I turned to drugs to escape from the pain and daily panic attacks…although I’ve been sober now for six years because I finally did get professional help…I was the youngest…I was the only one that was never physically abused…I played the hero and endured so much of his rants and tried to keep his attention off the rest of the family…there were many nights he would become a raging alcoholic…those memories pop up in my mind often still to this day…GET OUT…LEAVE…SAVE YOUR BABIES…YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO CREATE MANY YEARS OF GREAT MEMORIES WITH THEM. DONT EVEN QUESTION YOURSELF. PLEASE GET AWAY ASAP. Prayers lifted for you…I pray the lord make a way for you.
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Keep on keeping on. It’s just a stunt he’s pulling trying to reel you back in. If he can get clean and stay clean. Wonderful. For you and your kids. But that doesn’t mean you HAVE to be with him. Because even if he “changes now” that doesn’t erase anything he’s done to you in the past.
Walk away you will never get back what you once had with each other , been there once you lose feelings for him and you can’t feel sorry for him you got to make yourself think of you own happiness
If you stay and your children continue to see this behavior, it will affect them. If you love your husband go forward with having him served and get him out of the house and let him know you are serious about his sobriety. Seek counseling together.
I say tell those people to take him 
only you know how you’ve struggled and only you know what’s best for you and your kids. Much strength to you!
I would leave him until he’s sober for at least a year or more and goes to counseling to get help. If he’s abusive definitely leave him. You don’t deserve to be treated that way.
He needs to be clean for a year before you allow him to date you again. If he really cares about yall he will do what it takes
Move forward with things. He needs to help himself and by you being there he can’t or won’t do anything to help himself
Move on with your life and the babies lives, he won’t sober up long enough to prove anything before getting wasted again
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Get out before it’s to late my sister in law supposedly killed herself last year with a similar situation we think he did it but can’t prove it
They never change. If he refuses to move out then you should take the kids and leave yourself.
Nope. A leppard does NOT change his spots. When is enough chances?! Sounds like you have given him enough and he has just pee peed them away. Show him you are serious! Kick him out of the bed and make HIM sleep on the couch! And next time he is abusive document EVERYTHING. Your kids deserve a happy mom and you deserve a better partner. People ALWAYS say. “Stay for the kids”. Kids are resilient. If you stay you are teaching them it’s ok for their partner to treat them badly. You are doing the right thing, stay strong
He needs to get help an stay sober so let him just not in ur house he needs to go figure it out maybe if he’s sober a year u guys can talk about him coming back but not until at least a year .not worth it for u for sure not worth it for ur kids. Don’t let him guilt u into thinking ur tearing up ur family by making him leave cause that was not u .but he’s gonna have to get sober for him not u not ur kids .show him u mean business help him pack don’t listen to the alcoholic bullshiit coming out his mouth or he walk all over u forever. Save ur sanity an ur kids he’s misplaced his hopefully he finds it again .
Do what is best for you! I wasted15 years on a drunk. You don’t have to be part of his recovery plan. Get him off the lease and give him legal notice to vacate.
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Leave dnt waste anymore time. Not just for ur relationship but for ur kids. Dnt give them a child hood they have to recover from. There watching. Yu kno it’s not okay so let it go. It’s toxic & a cycle. Yu will be happy again I promise
Sounds like you already made your decision so why take steps back! Do what makes you happy regardless of what others opinions are or what they have to say because ultimately this is your life you have to live.
Tell him to hit a program if the marriage is really what he wants
Put him in a rehab and telling if he is sober 12 months you might think about it.
My Daughter went thru this with a alcoholic man did it for years then they both get jobs at a local department store and he get fired for drugs also so he would make her wear the same clothes to work the whole week so he could make her smell god awful,He made her record every minute she was at work.he would hear her severing her customers and she would get beat when he listen to the recording no sweetie he will never change get your divorce and stand on your own for a while you will se you feel much better for the change
He needs to get help. But it’s time for you to move on. If it’s meant to be it will after he’s cleaned up his act
I wont care what other ppl say. You are the one who is suffering physically and mentally not them. So its your choice for your self.
Whose name is on your lease or mortgage
If your name is on there particular for the lease remove his name from the papers if you can.
Then he the police remove him and his belongings
Keep going forward. There comes a point when enough chances and opportunities are given. It sounds like you’ve given enough of both, you need to do what’s best for you and your children.
That’s a decision only you can make.
Please move on without him. I speak from experience!
Counseling, treatment for a year.
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Follow your gut. If he hasnt changed that’s not a life to keep your kids or yourself in
Janice Wilburn sober or not once the abuse started his colors came out…RUN DO NOT WALK OUT THAT DOOR!!!
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Don’t pay attention to other peoples, do what’s best for you and your family
Nope. Get out. He should get sober regardless.
Nope. I stayed in a different room for months until he was served divorce papers, then he moved closer to work… that was back in Feb. & I don’t have a single regret 
Alcoholism is such an illness 
my dad been alcoholic all his life, he never changed, we grow up poor because our dad was drinking. He is 57 now and he had so many accidents in his life like a sign to quit and change his life, but no… At the moment he had hand surgery, sewed nerves and arteries but still drinking and it is nothing I can do,. He doesn’t want to change… Bless my mum she stayed with him for so long.
If your husband really want to change it’s not gonna be easy for both of you. Gonna take years, but once he sober for longer than 3 months I believe you will see the change. Stay strong
I lived it 21 years plus 2 with “chances” because “I will change” and it still didn’t-and hasn’t! You owe it to your kids and self to do better for everyone! Get out! Show them a different way of life!
I was in your situation…go to the judge and let him make him get out if that is what hubby wants…and ask the judge to make him pay your attorney and court costs in getting him out…after I divorced my problem, he mixed alcohol and drugs and died…he changed, he got worse…
I left and went back, he left and came back for over 30 years and I was with him and loved him still when he died. You only have two choices, leave or don’t leave! Do you want to be battling this exact same thing for the next 25-30 years? He will more than likely NOT stop drinking. He’ll do what appeases you for now till you quiet down but he knows the game well. He knows it’ll take a couple dreadful months of being sober then he can creep back to where he was and it’ll have bought him at least another 5-6 months. It is one of the hardest addictions to stop. He needs you badly because no one else understands him, no one else will tolerate his behavior, no one else will take the abuse, he’ll be alone, so for now, he’ll get sober. For an alcoholic they don’t feel the brunt of it all, the enabler does. Have you gone to al-anon? It may help you to understand why and how you do what you do but it won’t stop you…only you can walk away. It’s a hard lonely life if you choose to live it. Prayers go out for you and your children. 